Now i understand and it makes alot of sence now. thankyou very much for that. i hope i will get use to adding this and that one that sentence etc.
This isn't my fav chapter, why? there is a HUGE OOC moment that im not too sure about. i wrote as much as i can to make it not so OOC but its up to you guys if you find it OOC or not.
And ALOT of people been saying that normally Cyrus is Dawn's father, well i tend to write advanceshipping fics more than Ikarishipping so i don't know. but now that i do, doesn't mean im not going to change anything. the idea of Cyrus begin Paul's father actually came from a old Ikarishipping forums at least a year ago.
(I'm really updating this too fast. 0.o)
Emotions that don't live in his world
One year later...
To be able to wake up without something to bicker about, that would be a nice change for once.
My first signs of conscienceless were when I could feel my hands grasp something soft and something solid. I knew I was safe. My eyelids were next as they soon woke up from their slumber and let my eyes giving me of a vision on where I was. I was home.
I could feel the warmth of the hot air circulating in the house. The fire place was bright and alive and the hot chocolate on the table had just been made. The hot air coming out of drink somewhat felt relaxing for me. I soon saw little water ripples getting formed in the drink. I knew Reggie was coming down to see me. He had the usual stuff on, that peachy long sleeve shirt with the white pants. He always seemed to wear them all the time. But his hair wasn't in a ponytail, it was down. A smile soon grew across his face but I didn't know why. He sat next at the end of my feet.
"I'm glad you're alright." He grinned. He patted my head. It was of the things I hated him to do was treat me like a child. I knocked his hand off me.
"Give me a break Reggie." I pushed myself off the couch. I regained my balance but getting up from a lying down to a sitting down position made my head sore and dizzy. "What is wrong with me?" I complained.
"You just got a fever, silly." Reggie patted me on the back. Even it was soft it really did hurt me. I had no idea why. "Getting wet like that really took a beating in ya. I mean visit Dad in this kind of weather. I could of-" I soon stood up and looked my older brother in the eye.
"No!" I yelled. "I went there to mock him, to make fun of him. Things he used to do to me. I'm just returning the favour to him." My blood boiled every time my mind would bring an image of him into my head and anyone mentioned him near me. I was heading into my room until Reggie called my name again.
"Paul, please stop this." He sighed. He stood up and looked me in the eye. "Stop hurting yourself. You know that's not the reason you go there. You want him to respect you, don't you?"
To be able to admit to myself that I'm not lying would be a nice change as well.
"To mock him, to make fun at him. They are my reasons to visit a man like him." And I continued to make my way upstairs. To get my pokemon trained.
I didn't care about about the weather, I didn't care about what Reggie told me and I didn't care about him. I only cared to get stronger so I could defeat everything that headed my way. I slammed my door wide open with a huge 'thud' sound. My room was a mess in the eyes of Reggie who always cleaned my room so often that it annoyed me. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out the first drawer. There laid millions of pokemon balls I've caught on my journeys, mostly from here, Sinnoh. I grabbed a random red and white ball and close the drawer and made my way out.
I was half way down the stairs until I noticed Reggie just starting to watch a pokemon battle on television. I soon noticed one of the opponents showed on the screen.
"And advancing to the semi-finals is Ash Ketchum from Pallet town!" an announcer called out and into his microphone, spreading that stupid name into the crowd and pass the television's speakers.
"Can't believe that pathetic trainer even made past the first round." I grumbled.
"Well he beat you didn't he?" My older brother teased and looked over his shoulder. "I heard his in Unova now. How come you don't tag along him? It's been at least a year since you travelled." He asked.
"What am I? His official stalker? I'm sure his friends are doing that job for me." I continued to make my ways down the stairs. I could hear Reggie laugh and then calling to me again.
"Paul please. Rest and train in the morning. You can't battle in the state you are in." My brother called in his usual concerned tone of voice.
"I don't care, I don't I don't care!" I repeated and yelled at him. "I need to get stronger, to beat anyone who gets in my way!" And right after that I ran into the rain.
I need to get stronger, I need to beat him and earn what I deserve. Respect.
The weather was horrible in the eyes of others. But I treated this as a perfect condition to get better, stronger. I threw the pokeball into the air and it released a red light and soon hit down to the ground. The red light soon formed a very familiar pokemon to me. He was green and brown. He had a huge thick tree placed on his back with huge thick grey spikes pointing out from his back and the sides of his head. His legs were thick by the strength I've trained him by and he roared his name out to the skies above. His red eyes glowed in the night sky.
"Torterra." I greeted. "I should have known that you would be in that pokeball. "Let's start, knock out those trees with Frenzy plant!" I yelled from the top of my lungs.
My pokemon roared and released its powerful move he had mastered. Giant roots from the ground below erupted and knocked down the trees in front of us. The roots were cover with thorns and would do heaps of damage when it landed a hit on my opponents. The wind picked up speed out of nowhere and made me lose my balance and hit right into Torterra. I placed my left hand on my right shoulder where it collided with Torterra's strong and firm body structure. I was in so much pain, but I couldn't be. I had to be strong, I had to get over this stupid pain I was having. Soon I heard a girl calling to somebody in the forest.
"Come on Mamoswine. We can get through this storm." A girl cheered as she held onto her Pokémon's thick winter fur as she headed to my direction. The huge twin tusk pokemon soon stopped its tracks to run over me and collide into Torterra. A young girl soon dropped down from her Pokémon's back and turned around to face me. I soon knew who it was after hearing her annoying voice.
"Hey it's you, Paul." She pointed right into my face. I noticed she was wearing something different.
She had that red mini dress she wore back in Snowpoint. The mini dress only reached past her waist with four huge pink buttons near the ends of the mini dress. She wore ridiculously high white knee shocks with her usual pink boots. She still had that huge white scarf from before, wrapped around her neck and her usual pink hair clips and white and pink beanie were in their usual places.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Shouldn't I ask you that?" I asked. I soon coughed right afterwards. "Damn. I'm getting worse."
"Wait your sick and you still come out in this weather to train. Wow, hard headed." She teased.
"Not now girl." I held my head. I was getting dizzy once more. I placed my hands on Torterra to help me get up to get my balance. But even that my head just got much worse. "I need to get his respect before I get back home..."
"If you are talking about Ash beating you in the league well you-" But I cut her short.
"It's not only him dammit!" I yelled. Thunder roared across the midnight skies and the wind continued to blow across the forest at the same pace. "It's everyone who thinks I'm weak, useless, and junk!" I turned around to my rival's friends. "Ash is just one of the people who treated me like that!" I continued to yell at her.
"Ash doesn't think like you like that. He respects you because you're such a strong trainer!" She yelled back. "And you're sick. You don't know what you're talking about!"
"I know what I'm talking about completely!" I yelled. I soon heard Reggie's car coming towards us. His headlights soon broke through the night fog surrounding us. "The way he raises his pokemon. Love, care, kindness, all those things doesn't exist to me!" My head began to hurt even more and my legs began to shake. I was losing my balance again. I heard the car door opening and footsteps running over puddles and towards me. "I was raised in a world without those stupid things. Why start now?"
Love, care, kindness. Those ridiculous emotions don't live in my world. They won't and never will!
It was my older brother Reggie. He placed my jacket over my shoulders. His hair was still down and his teal apron wasn't wrapped around him right. He looked like a complete wreak and I can tell it was my fault. It always was. I tried to push him away from me but my arms just gave way.
"It's alright Paul. Calm down." I could hear her footsteps coming towards me with her huge pokemon beside her. "I'm here." He placed both his hands on my shoulder. "Let's go home." I knew he was talking to all of us, including that girl Ash would always travel with.
"Leave me alone! Leave me like Dad did..." I muttered. I was losing the sense of my mind and what I should tell it do to. Random words were leaving my lips and to the ears of others.
Somebody stop me, I'm doing it again. I'm feeling...sad again.
I did it again. Every year around this time I would act like a complete fool. I act like a child that lost their candy. I hate this side of me. I spit it with disgust. I want to out of me, leave me alone. Why can't it do that? My mind was losing its senses and let lose the pathetic side of me.
I tipped my head down towards the ground so nobody would see in my weak state. I couldn't stop. I just felt so hopeless that I had to. It just, why did all of this happen to me! Pick somebody else other than me! My life is horrible enough. I could feel Reggie pat my head softly. I always hated it but something in my mind told me to let him go, just this once. And that girl that was always with Ash placed her soft hand on my shoulder. I never thought this would happen to me again. Not in front of her, not in front of Reggie.
That night, was a horrible night. I wish it never happen. I wish I could wipe it out of my mind, like my past.
My memory of that night was little. I could hear the passage side doors slide open as my brother guild my in. My eyes were closed tight. My body felt cold. I felt some sort of blanket covering my body. I hate all of this, I hated begin and treated to weak. After that more sounds of openings and closing doors came through my ears. Reggie started the car with the car keys and drove back home. My mind soon fell asleep but came back up alive as soon my ears picked up of sounds of two people talking.
"Reggie what is wrong with him?" She asked.
"He always acts like this around this time of the year. Every year he would come back home for a few days before going back to his travels. I'm surprised he stayed home for a whole year without leaving to a new town." My older brother replied back to her.
"What happens around this time of the year?"
"Three years ago, our old house in a small town burnt down and inside that house was our mother." I could hear a shocked reaction gasp from that girl. "Paul was only seven back then. The experience was so traumatic for him that he didn't remember a thing. He told me that night in the hospital that he couldn't even remember what out mother looked like." Reggie continued to talk in his usual tone of voice. Acting like he wasn't effect by that night. He continued. "Our father, left three days before that accident. We didn't see him again until recently."
"Is that why Paul is like that?" She continued to ask. "And your father. Is he alright?"
"I rather not talk about the issue of my father Dawn." I could hear the gearbox go into a 'park' position as Reggie turned off the engine and the lights went out. "Anyway why don't you stay here for the night? The weather is horrible to even walk through."
"I guess so." I could hear a car door open and feet colliding with the wild wet grass below. That same sound came back as one of them closed their door and made their way to me. I soon felt that same soft hand brushing their fingertips through my hair. "Paul...if I only knew back then, I wouldn't have treated so bad back then. I'm sorry." Soon my side of the door opened wide and someone carried back into the house.
I hate this. I hate begin so weak. I'm sure he is making fun of me again. Like he always does. Stupid man.
I felt like I was in a re-run. I fainted in front of my house, ran away again and then fell asleep again. I felt disgusted by myself. Having to rely on others to care for me and make up for my mistakes. I felt so bad in me. I'm ending up like him. I sat up from my bed and sat there as I remembered what happen last night. I felt angry when I finally remembered.
"I did it again, didn't I?" My blood boiled once more. "Why can't I get over it, why?"
"Don't you go acting like that again Paul." It was Reggie. His haired was tied back and his apron with on him properly. He even had a tray with waffles and orange juice on top. He walked towards me and placed the tray on the side table next to me. He patted my head again but I took his hand away. "Ha, I see your back to your normal state again. Grumpy as ever."
"And I see you're annoying as ever." Reggie just laughed at me. I looked around me and noticed that Dawn girl wasn't here. "Where is that girl from last night?" I asked.
"Dawn you mean? She left just now. She said she had a few things to do while she was here in Veilstone." He made his way to the entrance of the door before speaking to me once more. "And can you try not to do that again. Go into the rain like that. You make me worry." After that he made his way out of my room.
I make him worry about me?
So there was somebody in this world that cared for me. I looked on the side table and reached over for the plate of waffles. I took a bite but quickly spat it out. I looked at the waffle. Half of it was golden brown and the other was black.
"He burnt it again." I sighed and I continued to eat.
To be able to accept everything, to accept who I was. Was something I still have to learn.
I finished my half decent, half burnt breakfast and dressed into my usual street clothes. The ones I seem most comfortable. I was walking down the stairs and saw Reggie watching television again, on the same channel I saw Ash on. He was getting interviewed by a reporter on the battle he had and how he lost and where he would head next. All I heard him say was as I headed outside was that he had to do a few things to please a certain someone before going back on the road. That froze me in my tracks.
"That Ash has to do something to please a certain someone? Funny that sounds a little like my situation." I ran out of the house and into town. I didn't hear Reggie call me back into the house since he didn't know I left. He always would let me stay at home around this time since I was going through a painful time and that I needed to relax for a few days. He always thought that trapping me in a house would make a difference. Staying inside one house won't change the past I went through.
The muddy roads was still wet by the storm last night and those annoying neighbour kids weren't up to annoy me again. I took the usual short cut by taking a route through an alleyway and under an old wooden pitchfork fence. Most of the pokemon that had hidden in boxes had become soggy and weak by the rain as I walked right past them. I was soon back on the main footpath of the town. The lights were still on as joggers run right past me. A few cars drove to their work place as I walked to that same place I would always go around this time. Somehow going to him was the only way that helped me get through this horrible state I was in.
I walked up the stairs until I reached that same gloomy old detention place. Most would call it a maximum security jail, I just call it a place where horrible people rot. A dump. I pushed the door forward and saw the same guards that were in front of the doors that lead me to that horrible man.
"Hayden." One of them spoke it that bored cold tone of voice. "Come in." He pointed his thumb to that gloomy hallway where the worse lived to rot. I walked in as they closed the doors behind me. They were the only words they would say to me before closing the doors on me.
I walked past the sleeping guards that I was guessing were meant to be on high alert. I found it hard on how they could sleep so well on those hard titanium walls with thick bolts placed in. I also walked past the hanging lights above me that could fall any moment as I ignore the grumbling prisoners behind the walls and in their little depressed rooms. I finally reached the room I wanted and saw the usual guard that was in front and was in my way.
"Early as usual Hayden." He greeted. He never knew my first name and I glad he didn't. "Is it that time of the year again?" he asked.
"Sadly it is." I sighed. I placed my hand firmly on the metal push down handle.
"Well, take it easy in there. He isn't a morning person you know." He folded his arms and looked at me. "I will be right here if things get rough in there." I didn't bother to reply and made my way in. The room was dark and had very little light in. The window was placed high above the flat bed he was on. The windows had three thick bars going down vertically. The table was more on the right side of the room as his belongings where all over the floor. He was already awake, like he knew I was coming here again.
"So you came back again. Fool." He stood up. The light shined the half of his face. I saw his spiky sky blue hair and his awful eyes staring at me. "Why bother? My look on you won't change."
"I didn't expect you to."I clutched my fists. "I won't forgive you; on what you did to us old man." My anger began to heat up.
"Why that is the first time you used words to relate to the word father." He devilishly smiled.
"You have no right to even call yourself that word!" I slammed the wall with my left fist. "After you leaving us before the fire. You are disgusting!"
"Aw, how hurtful. How can you call me those words to me, my son?" He took a few more steps towards me.
"Don't you dare call me that again, you idiot!" I took a step back. "Your son died after the day you left his mother and brother in the house to die!"
"I know why you come to see me every year since that night. You want me to actually respect you, to love you as my son. Isn't that right Paul?"
Why do I even bother, I know he will never accept me. He never did. So why am I still trying?
"Shut up!" I yelled. To hopefully get his words out of my head.
"Deny it was much as you want my son. I'm right and you're wrong." He came up to me. He was so close he trapped me into a corner. I felt so useless. He raised his left arm and pushed his left hand against the wall, above my head. "Well I can help you with that little boy." He grabbed me by the chin. "Help me re-form the red chain!" I pushed him back into the table.
"Your really are insane! How can mother like someone so heartless?" I yelled.
"I'm perfectly fine Paul. In fact I'm going to be released from this dump tomorrow into house arrest. That's how well I am." He pushed himself off the floor and brushed the dust off his body. "And you want me to finally treat you like my son, so help me and I will grant that wish you always want. Help me restore the red chain!"
"..." I wasn't able to reply. This horrible insane man was going to be able to live in a less up tight security home and was going put up an act of a nice man. If I didn't do it there was going to be a bigger chance that his old recruits will and will cause a bigger mess. I knew I had no choice. the world was going to under huge chaos once more. Even if I helped him or not.
But felt there was another reason behind helping him. I couldn't figure out what it was.
"Fine." I crossed my arms. "What do you want me to do?"