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Thread: A New Trainers Journey

  1. #1
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    Default A New Trainers Journey

    I fixed the size problems so here it is once again. Any feedback is appreciated.

    Chapter 1
    Meeting Clarissa – Danny's Journey Begins
    A Ralts poked Its head out of the tall grass of Route 1 and looked worriedly around the dirt path. Something rubbed against its back, causing a shiver to run up its spine. It screamed and jumped out of the grass.

    “What's in there,” said the Ralts, terrified, unsure of what to do. A Seawaddle crawled out of the grass from where she jumped and cocked its head quizzically at the her. The Ralts sighed with relief and lowering her guard. The Seawaddle crawled over to her and rubbed its head against her affectionately.

    “Get away from me, you dirty bug,” said the Ralts angrily, as she swatted the Seawaddle away.
    It fell on its back and started crying loudly.

    “Oh, I'm sorry little . . .” She stopped as an angry Leavanny burst out of the top of the grass. She screamed and ran as the Leavanny rushed out of the grass after her.

    . . .

    Danny woke with a start. Today was the day he would finally get his first Pokemon. He got changed quickly, grabbed his backpack and rushed downstairs.

    “Good morning, honey, you're up early,” his mom said as she set plates on the table.

    “Whats got you so riled up son?” his dad said from the other room.

    “Today is the day I get my Pokemon.” Danny said enthusiastically.

    “Oh, I forgot that was today!” his mom said happily, “I'll pack you some clothes and supplies.”

    She placed breakfast on the table and rushed off to the kitchen. Danny's dad came in and sat at the table.

    “So Danny, have you decided what Pokemon you're going to get?” his dad asked as he ate his breakfast.

    “Well, I was thinking I might get a Snivy, but Oshawatt is a good option too.” Danny said, contemplating his choice.

    “Why not get a Tepig like your old man?” his dad said encouragingly.

    “No, Tepigs are boring,” Danny said flatly. A look of shock passed over his dad's face.

    “But . . . but, what about Emboar,” his dad said shakily “He's cool, right?”

    “Samurott and Surperior are cooler,” Danny said in the same flat tone. Danny's dad slumped, a look of disappointment came over his face. He finished his breakfast and walked out of the room heart-broken. His mom came back with a bundle of clothes and food and a canteen of water.
    She placed the bundle and canteen into his backpack and handed him some money “Use this to buy food and any other necessities you might need. Try not to spend it on anything else.”

    “Alright, Mom.” Danny said reassuringly.

    “Do you have your sleeping bag?” she asked, fussing over him.

    “Yes Mom,” Danny said, getting slightly annoyed.

    “Alright son, go get your Pokemon,” His mom said happily.

    “Yes,” Danny said as he rushed out of the room to the door.

    “Wait, Danny, you didn't touch your breakfast.” his mom called out to him, but he ignored her. He ran outside into the spring morning air and looked around the simple little town of Nuvema. It was a town of open, grassy fields, and small quaint little houses. Trees ringed the field closing the towns borders, except for Route 1, which led directly out of town. He jumped onto his bike and rode out onto the path that led to Professor Juniper's lab. His mom and dad walked out the door and watched him go.

    Danny's dad looked over and said slyly, “Lisa, we're alone, are you thinking what I am thinking?”

    “Of course,” she said foxily back. They put their arms across each others backs and walked back inside. They slammed the door behind them.

    . . .

    Danny peddled as fast as he could to get to Juniper's lab. People looked up from their daily tasks and waved at him as he rode by. Danny waved back happily and continued along the way. Danny stopped by a simple house as a young boy stood in the yard waiting for him. Danny's friend, Walter was standing in front of his house waving furiously at him. Walter ran over to him as he stopped his bike at the end of the yard.

    “Danny! Today is the day you get your Pokemon,” he said enthusiastically.

    “Yep, I'm probably going to get a Oshawatt,” Danny said Boastfully.

    “That’s awesome! I wish I could get a Pokemon,” Walter said sadly.

    “Don't worry,” Danny said reassuringly, “Next year you'll get your first Pokemon.”

    “Yeah, you're right,” Walter said perking up.

    “Well, I have to get going to the lab, so see ya, Walter,” Danny said. As Danny rode off Walter waved goodbye and Danny waved back. He continued to pass houses but came out into open field. The path ahead forked into two paths, one leading to Professor Junipers lab, the other to Route 1. He took the turn on the dirt path that led to professor Juniper's lab.

    As he rode, something came out of the bushes on the side of the path. Danny swerved the bike to avoid hitting the creature that came out. The bike swerved too hard and Danny crashed onto the grass. He sat up, groaned, rubbed his shoulder, and looked around. His bike had fallen in the dirt, but he had missed the Pokemon that had came out and fallen on the path.

    He got up shakily and walked over to the strange Pokemon lying on the road. It wasn't a Pokemon he had had ever seen before, But stranger still was that the Pokemon was wearing clothes. It wore an open black sleeveless vest, a gray sleeveless shirt, a denim skirt with small wing designs hanging off over its legs and small metal pieces sewn in above them, black boots, a red scarf, a black wool cap with a red Pokeball design sewn in, and a red shoulder bag. Danny had never seen a Pokemon that wore clothes before.

    The Pokemon was unconscious and looked injured. He set his backpack down and gently put the unconscious Pokemon in it. He, then put his backpack back on and set his bike back up. He rode off toward professor Juniper's lab as fast as he could.

    . . .

    Danny stopped in front of Professor Juniper's lab. It was the biggest building in Nuvema. Like the other houses of Nuvema it was built with a simple style, but was much larger. A small windmill next to the lab spun lazily in the breeze. He got off his bike and ran over to the door. He pressed the buzzer quickly. Professor Juniper opened the door and a look of surprise came to her face.

    “Oh Danny, what are you doing here,” Juniper said. Danny showed Professor Juniper the unconscious Pokemon in his backpack.

    “Professor, this Pokemon needs your help,” Danny said worriedly. Juniper took the Pokemon out of the backpack and went inside. Danny followed after her. He was surprised by Professor Junipers lab, it wasn't at all what he expected. One side of the building was very modern, with tile flooring and a large machine in the corner. A group of bookcases sat next to the machine and were packed full of research books. Two small desks sat on each side of the room, one was covered in papers and a small computer rested on the other.

    The other room was a simple rustic kitchen with a pine floor. It had all the basic necessities of any kitchen with a few extras here and there. A large staircase in the corner led up to the second floor.

    Bianca sat at the computer compiling research for Professor Juniper. Cedric was cleaning up the kitchen. Bianca stood up when Professor Juniper came in with the injured Pokemon.

    “What happened?” Bianca asked worriedly.

    “Danny here found this Ralts along the path from the town,” Juniper said gravely.

    “Oh Danny, I didn't see you there,” Bianca said, just now noticing that Danny was there.

    “Yeah, I was coming . . .” but Danny was cut off as Bianca and Juniper started to talk. Danny walked into the kitchen annoyed and waited for them to finish talking.

    “It looks like it was attacked,” Bianca said worriedly, “Do you think it will be alright professor Juniper.”

    “The injuries don't look too severe, but we should treat them as soon as possible,” Professor Juniper said. Bianca let out a sigh of relief and left professor juniper to the treatment. She walked into the kitchen and sat down next to Danny.

    “Why is that Pokemon wearing clothes? Did you put them on it?” Bianca asked suspiciously.

    “I don't know,” Danny said defensively, “It was like that when I found it, really.”

    “I was just joking, Danny, no need to get so defensive,” Bianca said jokingly.

    “So is that the only reason you came?” Bianca asked.

    “No,” Danny said annoyed, “I was here to get my Pokemon.”

    “Pokemon?” Bianca looked confused.

    “My first Pokemon!” Danny said angrily.

    “Oh yeah, about that . . .” Cedric interrupted her, “Uh, so Danny have you decided what Pokemon you want?”

    “Oh, uh,” Danny said, somewhat confused by the change of subject, “I was going to choose a Oshawatt.”

    “Why chose Oshawatt?” Cedric asked keeping the subject changed. Before Danny could answer, Professor Juniper came into the room.

    “I have treated the Ralts' wounds and it is asleep in the other room,” Juniper said, “So Danny why did you visit.”

    Bianca sighed and Cedric slapped his forehead. “I came to get my Pokemon!” Danny said enthusiastically.

    “Oh,” a look of sorrow came over professor Juniper's face, “I’m sorry Danny.”

    “What?” Danny asked, confused.

    “The lab had a hard time getting the Pokemon to breed this year,” Professor Juniper said sadly “They simply preferred to play with other Pokemon, and because they wouldn't breed there were no Pokemon this year. I'm sorry Danny, you’ll have to wait till next year for your Pokemon.”

    A look of sheer disappointment passed over Danny's face.

    “Sorry Danny,” Bianca said sympathetically.

    “Really sorry,” Cedric added in. Danny was heart-broken. He stood up without a word, and walked towards the door to leave.

    “Wait, Danny,” Bianca called, “It’ll be alright.”

    Danny was about to leave when someone said “Where am I?”

    Everyone looked around the room, confused by the new voice. The voice spoke from the corner.

    “Over here!” the voice said indignantly. Everyone looked over to see the Ralts awake with a look of indignation on her face.

    “Again, Where am I, and who are you people?” A wave of shock came over the room.

    “It can talk,” Bianca said confused.

    “Yes I can talk, I should be more surprised that you can talk,” The Ralts said rudely. Bianca walked away, her feelings hurt.

    “Hey, that was uncalled for!” Danny said trying to make Bianca fell better.

    “Whatever,” The Ralts said, disinterested, “So, Where am I? Or do you not even know where this is?”

    “You're at my lab in Nuvema Town,” Professor Juniper said.

    “Nuvema Town!” The Ralts said shocked, “I was headed for Castelia City.”

    The Ralts looked around the room, and looked down at the small Pokemon bed she was laying on.

    “Hey, where are my clothes!” she said angrily.

    “I had to take them off to treat your injuries. I folded them and put them over there.” Professor Juniper said, pointing to them “They are somewhat dirty though.”

    “Hand me my Bag,” The Ralts said, annoyed.

    “This one,” Professor Juniper said, picking up the small red bag on top of the folded clothes. The Ralts snatched the bag from Professor Juniper's hand and started digging into it. She pulled out a small folded pair of Pj’s and put them on. Danny had never seen a Pokemon put on clothes before; he found it somewhat odd.

    “That's better,” The Ralts said, some of the indignation leaving her face, “Now, who are you people?”

    “I'm Professor Juniper, the girl over there is my assistant, Bianca, the older man is my father, Cedric, and the boy is Danny,” Juniper said pointing to each person in turn.

    “So, what are you doing all the way in Nuvema town?” Danny asked.

    “None of your business,” the Ralts said rudely. Bianca held Danny back as he tried to rush over to the Ralts. The Ralts turned up her nose at him.

    “I don't understand why a Ralts would be so far away from White Forest,” Cedric said confused.

    “I have a name you know,” The Ralts said indignantly, “Its Clarissa.”

    “Clarissa? So you're a female Ralts then?” Cedric asked.

    “Yes, isn't it obvious.” the Ralts said, irritated

    “I didn't know Pokemon had names.” Danny said confused

    “We do if we want to,” Clarissa said angrily.

    “So what are you doing in Nuvema town, and how do you know how to talk?” Professor Juniper asked. Clarissa sighed and said, aggravated, “Ugh, you ask to many questions.”

    “Come on, just tell us,” Danny said, very annoyed.

    “Fine!” Clarissa said angrily, “If you must know.”

    . . .

    “I was born in White Forest, and since the day I hatched I knew I was better than the other Pokemon. To me the other Pokemon seemed boring, with no dreams or ambitions. So I decided to prove I was better than them. I stayed with a small family that lived in the forest. They taught me some of the basics of the language, and the rest I learned on my own from reading.”

    “After I learned to read, write, and speak, I decided to learn how to sow. I made my own clothing and got into a habit of wearing it. I decided to leave and explore the world. I thought it over and decided to go to Castelia City first and see what they might think of my clothing designs.” Clarissa finished her story.

    “So how did you end up in Nuvema town?” Danny asked. Clarissa looked down and blushed.

    “Well,” Clarissa said embarrassed, “I got lost.”

    The room went silent, but quickly broke as everyone burst out laughing.

    “Hey!” Clarissa yelled angrily, “Don't laugh at me!”

    Everyone quieted down but Bianca continued to giggle.

    “Give me my clothes,” Clarissa said with resentment. Bianca handed Clarissa her clothes and she changed into them. She jumped down to the floor and started walking towards the door.

    “Wait, where are you going?” Bianca asked.

    “I'm leaving,” Clarissa said angrily, “I don't have to take this.”

    “But you're injured,” Juniper said, “You shouldn't go any where in your condition.”

    “I'm fine,” she said.

    “Wait I have an idea,” Cedric said. Everyone turned and looked at Cedric.

    “Danny, you want a Pokemon?” he said.

    “Yeah,” Danny answered, confused.

    “And Clarissa, you need a guide?”

    “I guess,” Clarissa said, suspicious of what Cedric was getting at.

    “So, why don't you to go on a journey together?” Cedric said, thinking he had outdone himself.

    “What!” both Danny and Clarissa said angrily.

    “You expect me to travel around with this ignoramus!” Clarissa said rudely.

    “I wouldn't ever travel with this high and mighty Pokemon,” Danny said angrily. Danny and Clarissa continued to argue until Professor Juniper stepped in and said, “Enough!”

    Danny and Clarissa quieted down, but still glared angrily at each other.

    “Look, why not journey together, it will be fun,” Bianca said trying to convince them.

    “I don't see how there is any fun in traveling with an idiot,” Clarissa said.

    “And I don't see what's fun about traveling with a snooty know-it-all,” Danny said. They began to glare at each other once more.

    “Come on you two,” Juniper said, “You can only benefit from traveling together.”

    “How?” They both asked in unison.

    “Well, think about it,” Professor Juniper said, “Danny, if you don't help Clarissa, you won't have a Pokemon 'till next year.”

    “I guess,” Danny said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

    “And Clarissa, if you don't go with Danny, you will just keep getting lost.”

    “Maybe,” Clarissa said, not completely convinced.

    “So,” Professor Juniper said. Danny looked over to Clarissa and Clarissa looked over to Danny. They both looked away angrily and said, “Fine.”

    Bianca and Cedric sighed in relief to finally have the argument over.

    “Alright, Danny, I will go get everything you need, wait right here.” Professor Juniper said, as she walked into the lab side of the house and searched through the drawers. She came back with a Pokedex, a map, a Pokeball, and an X-transciver. She handed him the Pokeball first.

    “Alright Clarissa, are you ready?” Professor Juniper asked.

    “Ready? Ready for what?” but then she saw the Pokeball.

    “What do you think you're doing!” Clarissa yelled angrily. Everybody in the room was taken aback.

    “What now?” Danny said annoyed.

    “There is no way you will ever, ever get me to go in that Pokeball!” she said angrily.

    “Why? What's so bad about a Pokeball?” Danny asked confused.

    “What's so bad? What's so bad! I don't see you getting put into a dark little room for days on end with nothing to do but sit there!” Clarissa said, her words filled with spite.

    “How do you know what its like in a Pokeball? You haven't been in one,” Danny said, doubtful.

    “I can talk to other Pokemon, and they've told me what its like,” Clarissa said in a know-it-all fashion.

    “You'll never get me to go in that Pokeball, and that’s final,” Clarissa said in a way that left the subject no longer up for discussion.

    “But if I don't put you in a Pokeball, then how will we battle, or fight Gym Leaders, or do anything!” Danny said, frustrated.

    “I don't have to be in a Pokeball to do any of that,” Clarissa said in an annoyed tone.

    “She's right, Danny,” Professor Juniper said, “It isn't necessary for a Pokemon to be in a Pokeball for you to battle with it. The only problem I would say you'd have is that anyone could capture her if they wanted.”

    “I wouldn't worry about that,” Clarissa said boastfully, “No one is going to capture me.”

    “Fine,” Danny said, putting the Pokeball away.

    “Hey, Danny, you should add Clarissa to your Pokedex,” Bianca said helpfully.

    “Oh yeah, thanks Bianca,” Danny said. He opened the Pokedex and pointed it towards Clarissa. The screen lit up with a description and a picture and an electronic voice spoke.


    Ralts
    The feeling Pokemon
    If its horns capture the warm feelings of people or Pokemon, its body warms up slightly.


    “Strange, you would think a Pokemon that can feel feelings would be nicer,” Danny said, laughing to himself.

    “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Clarissa said as she walked over to the door. She looked back at Danny and asked, “Are you coming or not?”

    “I'm coming,” Danny said, putting all of the things Professor Juniper gave him in his backpack. He rushed over to the door and walked outside, Clarissa following behind him. Danny took out his map.

    “Alright, first we're going to Accumula town along Route 1,” Danny said looking over the map.

    “Whatever, as long as I get to Castelia,” Clarissa said in a bored tone. Danny walked over to get his bike. Danny stopped suddenly and gasped.

    “What is it . . .” Clarissa began to say, but stopped as she saw what was happening. Danny's bike lay in pieces on the ground while a group of Aron Munched away happily.

    “My bike!” Danny yelled. The frightened Aron looked up at Danny's angry face and scattered into the trees. Bianca ran over to where he was “I heard yelling and . . . oh.”

    Clarissa burst out laughing. Danny looked back with a look of killer intent and Clarissa immediately stopped laughing. Bianca walked over to Danny and put her hand on his shoulder “Will you be alright Danny?” she asked

    “Yeah, I'll be alright.” Danny said drearily.

    “Come on Clarissa,” Danny said as he walked onto the path to Route 1, bummed out about the loss of his bike. Clarissa followed behind giggling quietly. Professor Juniper and Cedric walked out of the lab and watched the two departing.

    “They will make a perfect team,” Cedric said confidently.

    “I don't know about that,” Bianca said, somewhat doubtful. Professor Juniper shrugged and said, “Who knows, lets just wait and see.”
    Last edited by firydoom3; 7th August 2011 at 5:13 PM.

  2. #2

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    I don't mean to sound like an arse, but I'm having a rough time reading this. You are not making use of the enter key at the right places... if you would do so, I will gladly read and critique this story for you more fully.

    Currently on Hiatus

    Very gracious thanks to Tezza for the Banner.

    The Generic Story You All Probably Know… and Hate

    It's 97% pure Parody, the other 3% is mockery!


    Kertonmel: Sinsufficient Glory

    A grand adventure, spoken in 2MB Colored glory!

  3. #3

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    To be a little bit more specific...Try to seperate your dialougs into seperate paragraphs' So this way, it will be a lot more easier to tell who is talking to whom; So till then I would like to read untill you do seperate the character's speech to form them, in their own paragraph.

    Edit: Well, after getting your VM. I went ahead and read through it all, I have to say I fairly enjoy the chapter. Even though it got a little confusing here and there; but over all seems to be okay. I'm not much of a reviewer for writing errors so I won't be much of help for that topic ^_^: BUT! I do enjoy some of the characters/Pokemon personality in this chapter XD

    I take it your basing this story during after the events of Team Plasma? Since, Bianca is being Prof. Juniper's assistant and Juniper father being there as well. That's the sort of vibe I'm getting from this chapter lol.

    This Danny character; I can't really say much about him on the account he just got Ralts and all. He seems to be a somewhat in your face kind of Personality abuot him, consisdering that he told his dad that Tepig aren't cool XD Now Ralts...Well umm...I'll just have to wait and see how she turns out. New to the whole dressing up like a human and being in the Unova region. Untill I saw White forest; then I thought 'oh this might be after the whole events with Team Plasma'

    Agreeing with Danny on this lol; Who ever heard of a snotty Ralts thats sappousably feel emotions XD Good job and keep up the good work. May I suggest using Microsoft words/works for future chapters? Its a very realiable programe, but some what annoying XD
    Last edited by Trainer Robert; 7th August 2011 at 1:47 PM.
    A Boys quest to prove he isn't his brothers shadow. Along his journey, he learns that there are more things. Than being the best of the best.

    The Kanto Story: Robert armas adventures: Chapter 18 on its way.

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=483565


    Unova journey:Robert arma, Reborn of the white knight! Chapter 10 and 11 in the works

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=531158

  4. #4
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    Thanks for the review, it was very useful. Just to let you know, this does take place after the events of Pokemon black. I hope that helps clear some of the confusion up. Also just to say, the Ralts acts the way she does because essentially, she wishes she were human, she thinks being a pokemon is boring. It is a big part of her personality

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