Note for mods and readers: JX Valentine went over the rating of this fanfic with me and I'll tell you to be warned that it can contain a lot of violence and risqué subject material as far as is covered by the PG-17 rating.
Another note: It is more Borderlands than Pokémon, but it should have plenty of stuff that appeals to Pokémon fans (+ it revolves around using monsters to fight + elemental powers + 'trainers'/fighters) so... I'm putting it here and hope it fits here.
Hello everyone! I figure I'll let the story speak for itself in terms of how close it is to 'original flavour' as well as let you, the reader, decide if you like what I've cooked up. You'll know what kind of uploading schedule I am going for when I put up the next part. Still, I very much appreciate some feedback, I'm here to entertain and if you have any questions that won't get me to divulge major spoilers, I'll gladly answer them (end ego trip)
Final warning: The following is for PG-17 audiences only.
Bordermon: A Borderlands/Pokémon merge fic
This is Pandora. Remarking it’s a lawless place is like remarking a toilet has germs no matter how much you flush. Many people have tried to enforce their order and justice on the inhabitants of this planet, both on the ferocious wildlife that walk on all fours and those that walk on two. Now… I wouldn’t be telling you this story if they had succeeded, would I now?
We find ourselves on the continent of Tokan where a figure clad in rags and numerous bandages was on his way to the next settlement when he suddenly got surrounded by several half-naked, tattooed psychos wearing white masks with glowing blue eyes. Yes, it’s one of ‘those’ kind of stories you’re reading. I have yet to mention that they wield buzz axes they can throw with pinpoint accuracy. It does seem that our traveler is in quite a bit of trouble.
As the psychos (hey, it’s what everyone calls them) approached, they shouted various incomprehensible lines, with one sticking out clearly as the psycho in question screamed it at the top of his lungs:
Maybe I misunderstood, but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking about sailors.
This particular psycho was the first to reach the traveler and promptly got punched in the head with a bandaged hand as a reward for his can-do attitude. Another one of the lunatics came within striking distance and got the same treatment as his fellow can-doer, while their third colleague approached. Then the traveler spoke up.
“If you’re sane enough to understand what I’m saying, back OFF!”
The bandaged up person, that was undoubtedly the badass protagonist of this tale of awesome badassery, sounded gruff and grizzled and grumpy and… gracious? With the sliver of sanity that the psycho possibly had left, he was puzzled by the traveler’s voice that didn’t fit his appearance. Curiously he asked:
“Are you a boy or a g… AAAAARGH!”
Before he could finish his sentence he was pumped full of pellets fired from a Jakobs shotgun the apparently female traveler had drawn out from underneath her rags. I introduce to you:
Don’t ask about the bandages…
In the distance a horde of psychos came running. It seems they were attracted by gun fire, not unlike zombies. Reine shook her head and threw out a metal box called a storage deck unit or SDU (we’ll be calling it that from now on) and before her a creature was rapidly built up out of what seemed like holograms, but what would turn out to do very real damage. As the light effects of the SDU’s releasing process faded, a four-legged spider creature appeared, shaking its heavily armored head and a much more vulnerable abdomen in tandem, before stretching its sturdy limbs. And so the SDU ‘digistructed’:
Your deadly neighborhood spiderant
Reine pointed to the psychos and Buzzsaw nodded. It curled itself up into a ball and revealed its next trick: it started rolling and soon got into a breakneck speed and lived up to its namesake as it cut through the psychos’ legs. Meanwhile Reine pulled out a Maliwan sniper rifle before taking shots at the psychos’ heads and slightly grinning as their heads exploded into a million pieces, which were then set on fire and carried the flames over to the other enemies turning the whole horde into an inferno of screams and odors of burning flesh.
Okay, are you still with me? Good, then let’s get to the meat (non-human, I promise) of the story.
Chapter 1: This is my rival
Reine approached Buzzsaw amidst a pool of blood the size of a small swimming pool as her gyro spiderant obediently walked up to her. Using one of the many bandages she had wrapped around her body, she wiped off some of the psychos’ blood, while making sure she didn’t touch it. She knew only too well what diseases spread amongst these lunatics. She took another glance at Buzzsaw, all cleaned up and squeaking. Despite its chipper demeanor amongst a dozen psycho corpses, Reine could see it was in bad shape. She had to move on quickly and reach that settlement she’d been heading to before she was attacked.
“I found you!” it suddenly sounded.
Oh no, not again, Reine thought as she grinded her teeth. Not that girl again. She looked up to see her standing on the side of the rocky hill, grinning as she pointed to Reine and Buzzsaw.
“We’ve locked eyes, so we must fight!” the girl said before jumping down. “Prepare to lose to Cary Loak!"
She immediately pulled out an SDU and threw it on the ground, rapidly digistructing a doglike creature that had, judging from its appearance, dived into a volcano and had the magma stick to its entire body. The thing, that the locals called a skag, roared and as it did so, opened up its face like the deadliest flower you’d ever meet. Reine shot it in the mouth and killed it on the spot.
Cary collapsed on her knees and whimpered.
“W-why would you do that! Skaggy… I just got this Bordermon…” she said between whimpers.
“That’s a stupid name,” Reine said as she kept her gun trained on the kid.
“Well it was only a temporary name until… Oh, you mean how I call these creatures? It’s the best name ever!” Cary said, jumping up excitedly.
“Look kid,” Reine said as she nodded at the Vladof assault rifle she was pointing at the girl, the brand being infamous for its high rate of fire. “This is my rifle. It will mow you down in four…” Reine looked Cary up and down for a moment and then continued: “Two and a half seconds. If you want to live to be an annoying twerp another day, I suggest you start running. Its accuracy is bad, but I’m more than able to compensate, if you understand what I’m saying.”
The girl struggled to regain the tough persona she’d equated herself with, but she managed in time.
“We shall meet again, Miss Bandage!” Cary shouted as she ran until she was just a dot on the horizon.
Reine sighed and swiftly recalled Buzzsaw to its SDU which she tucked away with the same amount of ease. The rest of the trip to the settlement was strangely uneventful and the bandaged traveler was quite grateful for it, as she had been running out of bullets. She came up to a vending machine that pictured a female doctor holding a syringe and sporting the tagline: ‘Dr. Joy, I’m all you got’.
As Reine’s high-tech backpack had automatically picked up the money that the psychos had been carrying, she could buy multiple insta-health vials which, as the name implied, instantly healed her up. She also gave some to Buzzsaw before quickly recalling him again. She was in a populated area after all and many of the more civilized people still considered spiderant meat to be a delicacy.
“Thank you! You are fighting fit! We hope to see you again!” the vending machine’s recording of Dr. Joy said eerily chipper.
It’s like she wanted people to get hurt, Reine mused. Looking at that expression of hers on her machines, she probably did. Our bandaged traveler was good at sniffing out sadists for certain reasons. With a glance she checked her remaining cash. There was enough in there to buy some ammo or an SDU, if she traded in something else to avoid weighing herself down too much. Two creatures at her beck and call would be quite handy… She decided to give it more thought and bought a few stacks of ammo from an appropriately dubbed ‘Ammo Dump’ machine before heading out.
Then a random passerby spoke up.
“Wow dude, what’s up with the bandages?”
He immediately got punched in the face for his ignorance.
“That was a warning. Next time I use my gun”, Reine grumbled.
As the psycho did before him, a guy that was nearly as out of his mind noticed Reine’s gracious voice. He remarked:
“Oh, so you’re one of those bandaged chicks. I can heal you right up you know if we…”
He paused as Reine stuck a shotgun in his face.
“I’m a painter you see,” our bandaged traveler said as she tossed the guy a nasty glare. “Wanna see what color my brush prefers?”
The guy wisely swallowed a remark of his in the style of ‘How about I show you my brush’ and quickly made himself scarce. He still glanced at the bandage-covered woman and wondered how she’d look like without them. Or any clothes for that matter. A bullet whizzed past his ear and the guy made a leap behind a hopefully bulletproof shack. Reine meanwhile figured he’d gotten the message and she had moved on. Where to now, she thought as she fixed the cloth, that had almost slipped from her nose, so it covered the latter and the bottom half of her face again.
As she rubbed the bandages on her arm, they brought back memories she had always pushed away. The only thing that had kept her going, being stuck on this hellhole of a planet, was a goal she had set herself: to come to rule over her own portion of Pandora. In order for her to ever attain a position as a, what she had jokingly called, ‘bandit queen’, she had raided bandit camps for dollars, ammo and guns for some time now, making slow progress as she quite literally blasted her way to power. Though she had little scruples, there were lines she was hesitant to cross and which she blamed time and time again for the slow pace she followed on her path of conquest. Slaughter to sovereignty. Strong-arming to having the long arm of bandit law. Visceral violating to victory.
And then the Pandora wide ECHO message came.
“HELLO CITIZENS AND ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS OF PANDORA!” a large man with massive pecs shouted.
For your convenience, the rest of his message is not done in all caps, but hopefully you get the idea.
“This is Mister Torgue! After almost getting kicked out of my company for hosting an illegal off world death tournament on this planet sponsored by the Torgue Board without them knowing, I’ve decided to not do that again! No, instead I will be hosting an illegal off world death… Bordermon tournament on this planet sponsored by the Torgue Board without them knowing! Bordermon. Are. Aaaaaaaaaaawesome! Oh, you can only get in if you’ve defeated one billion Bordermon fighters!” Some whispering was discernible in the background. “Fine, one hundred Bordermon fighters… though you should totally try to demolish one billion Bordermon fighters, you p*ssies!”
Reine formed a pistol with her hand, put it on her temple and imagined blowing her brains out right that instant.