The Beta House: Reloaded

[bobandbill]

~*THE BETA HOUSE*~

This is the new version of the Beta House thread! The old one, hosted by purple_drake[/URL], had grown rather old, so with her permission it has been done.

Going off the old thread's introduction - for anyone new to the thread, the Beta House is a mentoring system for writers, new and advanced, who need help developing or fine-tuning their fics. So if you need help with something big like developing an idea, or just something small like making sure your grammar’s all ironed out, there are people here who would (we would hope! :P) be able to help you.

Since this is revamped, the lists have been completely wiped; if you were on the list before in the old thread you will have to reapply.
If you have any questions, suggestions, updates or insults, feel free to PM me or one of the fanfiction moderators.

Rules
Shamelessly similar to the old thread's!

General:








Naturally, all rules in the Author's cafe apply here. That said, there’s one big one that deserves re-mentioning:

1. No spam or off-topic posts are allowed. There are only four reasons why people should be posting in this thread:
   —to apply as a mentor
   —to apply as a mentoree
   —in the case of mentors, to inform me of their status
   —to make a statement or ask a question relating to the thread (the latter of which does not include ‘when do I get a mentor?’ ‘why hasn’t someone picked me yet?’ and any other variation on the same theme). Anything else will be considered spam.
2. All contact between mentors and mentorees should be through PM and/or email, NOT in the thread. This includes mentorees asking for someone to be their mentor and vice versa.
3. BOTH mentor and mentoree MUST have agreed to the mentorship before the mentor posts acceptance.
4. Samples should have a minimum length of four decent-sized paragraphs.

Mentorees:

1. Note that the Beta House is NOT the equivalent of spellcheck or grammarcheck. Look over your stuff as best you can before handing it over to your mentor - apply a spell or grammar check by either your word processor (whether that is Word, OpenOffice or so forth) or an online one, and give it a proofread as well. Your story WILL be denied by myself or a fanfiction mod if there is no clear effort shown in your work that you have applied some basic effort to cleaning up and editing/proofreading your story.
2. Don’t apply unless you’re serious about the story. By ‘serious’ I mean you’ve thought about it, you know where it’s going and/or know you’re going to stick with it.
3. Please post a sample when possible, even if it’s not a pokémon fic, and if your story exists already on the internet, by all means link to it. An excerpt of the fic you want betaed would be ideal, but if not, a sample of your development would still be useful.
4. You may PM a mentor about accepting you, but be aware that they have the right to choose mentorees at their own discretion, so please respect their decision.
5. Given the long list we have atm, one request for a mentor each mentoree only for the time being.
6. This thread is about guidance, so if you disagree with your mentor you can bring it up with them. Just be polite about it; remember, they are just trying to help you.
7. Be patient. They’re taking the time to help, so don’t pester them about when they’ll be done with your chapter. That said, if it’s been two weeks or something and you haven’t heard a word, then feel free to give them a poke.
8. Mentors have the right to drop a story after two warnings to their mentorees if these rules aren’t respected.

Mentors/Proofreaders:


First and foremost, do note that you will be 'checked out' before being accepted or denied to be a mentor here. Not just anyone can become a mentor. That said, if you’re applying just because you happen to have time or people have said you’re good at a particular part of writing, you might want to rethink. Willingness only goes so far; experience will go much further. Rules for the mentors and proofreaders are the same, with the exception of Rule 4.

1. Please, don’t agree to beta a story if you know you won’t have time, motivation, or just don’t want to. It’s a waste of time for everyone involved, which can be better spent elsewhere.
2. I know life can be busy, but if it’s been a few days, you’ve got a chapter lined up, and you haven’t had a chance to look at it yet or know you won’t get a chance for another couple of days, warn your mentoree it might take a while. If you’re going away or you’re losing your Internet access, then let them know. Your return courtesy for them not bugging the heck out of you.
3. The default number of mentorees you guys can have at three, but if you wish to take on more or less at a time, by all means include that in your application and it'll be included.
4. You CAN apply to be a mentoree as well.
5. On the flipside of the rule for mentorees, yes, you are helping them, but they came to you for it. So be nice, especially if they disagree with you about something and you want to argue the point.
6. Mentorees have the right to request a new mentor if the one they have doesn’t respect these rules. If the infraction is severe enough and is brought to my attention, you could be taken off the list. So don’t do it, guys.

Penalties

You can also be put on probation and removed from the list if someone (such as a reader of their mentoree’s fic) brings it to my attention that they aren’t betaing to standard. If you don’t have time to do it, then warn your mentoree you’re going on hiatus; don’t rush through the beta for the sake of getting it out.

Applications
How i get on list???

Mentorees:
Story title:
Fandom (preferably pokémon):
Plot summary:
Genre:
Rating:
Mentor needed:
Prior writing experience:
Preferred mentor (optional):
Writing sample (optional, but expected):
Other (optional):


IMPORTANT NOTE: Under the 'mentor needed' section, people have been saying what areas they're weak in, in terms of writing. The only thing you need to say to answer this section is 'comprehensive mentor' or 'character mentor' or whatever kind of mentor you want; the list of ways in which you need help isn't needed to be mentioned there - you can say that in the Other section.


Mentors:
Category (two maximum unless comprehensive):
Genre specialty (if any):
Method of contact:
Proofreader (yes/no):

Furthermore, link to at least two samples of your writing, specific to whichever category you’re applying for. It doesn’t have to be on this forum; just wherever it’s accessible.

Additionally, link to a few samples of reviews or beta readings you have made if you have any. Again, it does not have to come from this forum.



An explanation of certain parts of the application form:

Genre specialty is, well, kind of self-explanatory. If you specialise in certain fics, such as journeyfics, pokémorph fics, even romance or adventure fics, you can note it on your application and it will be included beside your name on the list. If you want to mentor in that particular genre (that is, help with the refinement of a genre-specific storyline), then there is a new category for genre-specific mentors.
Method of contact is also self-explanatory. Specify if you want to be contacted through email or PM, and if the former, please leave an email address (which will be placed next to your name on the list, so if you don’t want it public, you might want to hold off until you know who you’re mentoring).
Aproofreader is similar to a mentor, but is tailored towards more experienced writers who need a second opinion, as opposed to less experienced writers who need a teacher. Anyone who is a mentor can offer additional services as a proofreader, although comprehensive mentors will be automatically placed on the proofreader list unless otherwise stated by the mentor in question.

The List
Are YOU on it? It's really cool!

Mentors:

One active thus far.


Comprehensive Mentors:
[Mentors who are pretty good at all aspects of fiction. Best for very new writers or anyone in need of general help.]

Ejunknown - PMs or VMs.
Genre - Drama, fantasy, adventure, historical, comedy, sci-fi; there's not really any I'm not acquainted with.

Feralninja - PMs.
Genre - Since it's a pokemon forum, I'll say I'll limit myself to pokemon fics. Journey/Trainer fics, adventure, action, etc.

Character Mentors:
[Mentors skilled in character portrayal and development.]


SilentMemento - PMs or VMs. Also a Plot Mentor.
Genre - I specialize in Horror, but I'm willing to do things like Adventure, Drama, and the like


Plot Mentors:
[Mentors who can help with the development of plot twists, the story climax, and other problems with the storyline.]


SilentMemento - PMs or VMs. Also a Character Mentor.
Genre - I specialize in Horror, but I'm willing to do things like Adventure, Drama, and the like


Bay - PMs or VMs, can also do email on request. Also a Fluency Mentor.
Genre - My strengths are mystery and suspense, but I'm willing to look through anything.
(1/3)


Language Mentors:
[Mentors who can help with the fine-tuning of language, including things such as description and dialogue.]



Fluency Mentors:
[Mentors who can help with chapter length, pacing, scene breaks, and so on.]


Bay - PMs or VMs, can also do email on request. Also a Fluency Mentor.
Genre - My strengths are mystery and suspense, but I'm willing to look through anything.
(1/3)


Genre-specific Mentors:
[Mentors who offer help with a specific genre, such as journey fics or romance fics.]



Grammar Mentors:
[Mentors who can help with ironing out those pesky grammatical errors.]


IanDonyer - VM, PM, or e-mail(kesenaitsumi@live.com).
Genre - anything but romance, sci-fi, or western.



Proofreaders:
Proofreaders are exactly what they sound like: they proofread a work just before it gets published. Unlike mentors, they're not here specifically for the purpose of teaching; they're here for the more experienced writers as a second set of eyes and to offer a second opinion. A proofreader will usually aim to give a general overview of a work, although they may focus on aspects the author particularly wants an opinion on or which they specialise in.





In Search of Assistance:
Click the links for the full info on their story and so forth!



Manaphyman
"Nightfall"
Adventure/War, with some journey themes.
Rated T/PG-13
Pokemon
In need of a Grammar/Description mentor

matt0044
"My Little Sailor Soldiers: Friendship is Magic"
Action, Adventures, Friendship (duh), Drama
Rated 13+
Mostly My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and some Sailor Moon
In need Plot and Character Mentor who's a fellow fan (or Brony) of MLP:FiM and possibly a fan of Sailor Moon. ("If you're not a fan of Sailor Moon (in other words, just not interested in it), then that's fine. I'll take care of the Sailor Moon elements of the story.")

phoopes
"PMD: Expectations"
Fantasy
Rated PG-13
Pokemon
In need of a Comprehensive Mentor.

menametlg
"Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Race to Victory"
Adventure
Rated PG
Pokemon
In need of a Comprehensive/Plot/Grammar Mentor.("Plot Mentor. But I won't asked them always. Only when I suffer from mental black. Grammar Mentor and Comprehensive Mentor. I'm poor in English but I'm working on it since I am qualified to be the Editor-in-chief of our newspaper. I'm just writing in English so that i can get used to.")

-Silver-
"Collide"
Romance/Suspense
Not yet rated
Pokemon
In need of a Character mentor. ('Someone who is good at characterization. That's pretty much the weak point and as well as someone who is good at describing and plots.')

Zoruagible
"Kyurem- the third hero"
Action/Romance
PG-13
Pokemon
In need of a Character/Grammar mentor.

donotlookatdiagram
"Into the Shadows"
Post- XD, Adventure
R
Pokémon

Flame Mistress
"The Return Of The Indigo League"
Adventure, Romance, Drama, Mystery
K+/T
Pokémon
Mentor needed: Anyone who can help me out with battle scenes, character introductions, chapter pacing, etc



Cheers to Breezy, purple_drake and Draco Malfoy for their input!

[bobandbill]

And a backup post just in case I need more space!

Post away, all!

[848]

I would like to apply to be a mentoree

Story title:Journey of Champion: In Johto
Fandom:Pokemon
Plot Summary:Young John Andrew Elm III, who goes by Jack, has set out on a journey of Johto. On the way, he discovers a plot so treacherous it threatens the safety of the entire Pokemon world.
Genre:Adventure/Journey
Rating:PG-13
Mentor needed:Comprehension/Character Mentor
Prior Work:None
Preferred Mentor:None

[D. Scott]

Applying for a mentor position. Since I actually will have the opportunity to have a computer of my own again soon!~

Category: Comprehensive
Genre Specialty: Anything but romance, sci-fi, or western.
Method of contact: VM, PM, or e-mail (kesenaitsumi@live.com).
Proofreader: No.

Samples of Writing: My FFnet profile. Contains all my released work so far. Stories 1-5 are my best.

Samples of Reviews:

Broken Promises: The Story of Ash's Pidgeot

The Awesome of Awesomeness

Blackout World: Post 1
Blackout World: Post 2

Regional conflict: The 5 sacred stones Pt.1 (I'll review more later, and edit this post to contain the links)

[Shadow Lucario]

Story title: Remix: Dedication through Light and Darkness


Fandom (preferably pokémon): Pokémon


Plot summary: Located far to the east is a school, but this school is not just your regular school. Attending the Pokémon Academy of the east is Jyharri Ahmed. Quickly learning that Pokémon training isn't as easy as it sounds, he attempts to stick to his studies and become better for himself and his Pokémon. However, he does not know of the plot that is taking place under the school's nose. A battle between two titanic organizations is about to take place and he must make a decision; bathe in the light or drown in darkness.


Genre: Action/Romance/Mystery


Rating: PG-13


Mentor needed: Language mentor


Prior writing experience: Started a journey fic, but got about half way through before trashing it. Began a new fic and finished it. It is titled Dedication through Light and Darkness. Started work on a different telling of it.


Preferred mentor (optional): Does not matter.


Writing sample (optional, but expected):     Spoiler:- Writing sample:

Show Spoiler

 
Behind him he felt a heat erupt as a loud crash was heard. As four more head his way, Vex jumped over the first. The second grazed his arm, leaving a small burn mark. Hitting him in the middle of his chest, the third fireball pushed Vex back to the railing. Immediately after, the fourth hit him in the chest as well, pushing him through the railing and into the wall.

The wall was ablaze, causing more damage to the Tyrogue. Falling to the landing on the first floor, Vex slumped over onto his side, knocked out. Jyharri looked over the railing in disbelief. Once again he had let his Pokémon get hurt.

“You better go get your Tyrogue!” Edric told Jyharri as he pulled out a Pokéball. “This place is going to burn down! Better get out while we can!”

With a nod, Jyharri jumped over the edge of the railing, his unzipped blazer appearing like a red tattered cape as he fell. Landing with a loud thud, Jyharri picked up Vex, looking his Pokémon over. Even though he was unconscious, he still clutched onto his scarf.
 

Other (optional): N/A

[D. Scott]

Posting to say I've agreed to mentor Trainer Robert's "The Kanto Story:Robert Arma's Adventures".

[bobandbill]

Posting to say I've agreed to mentor Trainer Robert's "The Kanto Story:Robert Arma's Adventures".

Cool, updated that fact.

As with your application, I'm afraid I can't accept you as a comprehensive mentor as although your reviews showed you know how to pick up on grammatical mistakes, there wasn't enough within those on other factors of writing such as characters and plot - you'd need to show more on being adept in those aspects as well. Certainly though you know your grammar, so instead you'll be made a grammar mentor, and if you want to try for comprehensive with different reviews later on go for it. =)

Everyone else - added.

[Trainer Robert]

Lol, fine with me ^_^. I wouldn't mind a grammer mentor. Just lol, go easy with me k : P The first time I started Pokemon, the chapters were awful. If someone can spot something, that I can't see. Will be very helpful.

[D. Scott]

Wonderful. The day after I finally get a laptop charger, I learn I'm going to be moving: which means I'll have about a fourth of the free time I thought I'd have!

*sigh* I'm sorry, can I be removed from the mentor's list? And "Kanto Story: Robert Arma's adventures" put back onto the mentoree list?

[bobandbill]

I'll keep you on the list seeing you did apply and get approved for something but I'll make it clear you're not taking anyone on for the time being.

C'mon people, nobody else applying to be a mentor yet? =/

[SilentMemento]

You know what? I think I'll give mentoring a shot.

Category - Character and Plot.
Genre Specialty - I specialize in Horror, but I'm willing to do things like Adventure, Drama, and the like.
Method of Contact - I'll take PMs or VMs.
Proofreader - No.

Samples of Writing - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4560222/1/A_Hidden_Vendetta

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4533823/1/Transfixed

Samples of Reviews - http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...7#post11222967

http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...7#post11210477

[bobandbill]

Approved and added, SilentMemento. =)

[fixthe_fernback]

Applying to be mentored...

Story title: Pokemon Central
Fandom (preferably pokémon): obviously, Pokemon
Plot summary: (only for the first Arc) Two young trainers, Lucas Ahlberg of Unova and Anastasia "Anne' Day of Johto, embark on a journey through the region of Johto, as Lucas strives to obtain 8 of the 24 gym badges he will need to one day compete in the Pokemon Global League Championship, and Anne wishes to learn more about Pokemon Breeding through traveling. Along the way, they encounter a mysterious trainer, Roman Vinci, who claims to be an agent of Mouvement, an equally mysterious organization who's current plans are unknown. (sorry, I know its a bit long)
Genre: Varies throughout the chapters, overall more of an Adventure/Drama.
Rating: T
Mentor needed: Comprehensive/Character
Prior writing experience: only English papers at school; usually get good grades, just always been bad with starting a story.
Preferred mentor (optional):
Writing sample (optional, but expected):     Spoiler:- Spoiler:

Show Spoiler

 
"Good morning passengers, this is your Captain speaking, I'm proud to announce yet annother succesful trip to land of Johto, as we arrived at New Bark Port at approiximately 4:32 this morning. With this, the ship will begin the deboarding process in fifteen minutes."

As the Captain's voice echoed through the halls, Lucas awoke, excited for his journey, he ran to the closet provided in the cabin, immediately grabbing his favorite outfit which consisted of a white short-sleeved vest with red trim and the design of the Icirrus gym badge colored to match the vest on the right side of his chest. With this, he wore a matching red hat with the same design, and black jeans.

With only five minutes till the deboarding process began, Lucas' returned Avey to its Pokeball, grabbed his back pack, and set off the ship, of course, with Zorua following right behind him.

As Lucas arrives in New Bark Town, he sets off to Prof. Elm's lab where he should be meeting Prof. Juniper to recieve his Pokedex and Pokeballs and to register with Prof. Elm for the Johto Silver Conference.

"I wonder what Prof. Juniper is doing in Johto. When I talked to her over the phone in Icirrus City, she said I could meet her here, but this means I have to battle the gym leaders here first. After all, it wouldn't make sense to go back to Unova now. Plus, I'll finally get a Pokeball for you, Zorua"

Zorua looked at her new friend with joy, always wanting to travel the world with a trainer, she had been dreaming of this moment for a long time now.

"I suppose it works out though. I have to obtain 24 badges anyway, if I want to compete in the Pokemon Global Championship that is."

"And, we'll make so many friends on the way. I'll bet there all kinds of Pokemon in Johto you would never see in Unova."

"Zor-Zoru!" Zorua began excitedly calling out to Lucas, noticing the large building ahead, she knew it had to be Professor Elm's lab.

...

 

Other: I assume this is to add a few more notes, thus I'd like to take advantage of this. I would just like to say, that I am incredibly excited to write this story, I've already got most of it planned out and all, just seeking additional professional help so I can get the most out of this Fic that I can. Also, if you're interested in mentoring me, and want any additional info on the story before you make your decision, don't hesitate to ask.

[bobandbill]

Added to the list. (And yes, 'other' is for mention other stuff you want, and you can say as much as you want really, only the major stuff is in the first post and your post is linked to for people to see straightaway as well if they click it).

[matt0044]

I'm looking for a Beta Reader who can help me with my two Pokemon game adaptations.

Story Title(s): Pokemon Adventures: Diamond & Pearl and Pokemon Adventures: Black & White

Fandom: Pokemon (duh!) featuring various different cartoon and Anime Characters with some of my own original characters representing the Pokemon game (and Anime) characters. It's not required for you to know all these characters as you'll see why.

Plot Summary for DP: Sagwa Miao, a Chinese Siamese cat from Twinleaf town, travels throughout the Sinnoh region as she prepares her Pokemon for the Sinnoh League. Along the way, she encounters her two rivals, Arthur Read and Lan Windy, and Team Galactic who plot to overtake the universe but their leader has bigger plans in store for himself.

Plot Summary for BW: Angelina Mouseling, a young, orphaned mouseling, and her best friends, Alice Nimbletoes and William Longtail, from Nuvema town set off into the vast Unova region each with dreams of becoming the champion. Along the way, they meet a strange, young man their age named Zor Harmonia and an organization called Team Plasma that's dedicated to separating Pokemon from people.

Overall summary: Both fics are my expansion on the Generation four and five Pokemon games. Certain game mechanics have been either altered for these fics or removed completely. The story is somewhat changed to suit the characters while staying true to the games' stories and certain stories are added to give the characters development. This is basically a fan remake ("fanmake" for short) but I aim to make as great and fun to read as possible.

Genres: Adventure/Friendship (I could go on but I'd take to long)

Rating: G (the stories and characters can be deep and complex but not dark all the time. It's hard to explain.)

Mentor needed: Character and Plot mentor. Someone who can tell me what will or won't work and someone who won't be put off by cartoon, Anime and animal characters simply being in a Pokemon fic. Also someone who knows about the fourth and fifth generation of Pokemon well enough to help me and someone who is usually available on Serebii during the day (I live in New York state).

Prior writing experience: I have been writing on Fanfiction.net since I was twelve (I'm sixteen going on seventeen) and I've really improved in terms of plot and character development. Trust me. Back then, I was horrible yet I thought my work was genius.

If you're interested and meet the requirements I seek, then don't hesitate to PM me as soon as you can.

[bobandbill]

Added you, matt0044.

[Manaphyman]

Well, I need a beta. *cough, a mentor*

Story title: Nightfall
Fandom: Pokémon
Plot summary: A sequel to The Sevii Islands Saga, Nightfall takes place in the Johto region. After a devastating attack by Team Galactic, the world fights to maintain its sovereignty in the face of ravenous armies. Leading the Johto militia towards an inevitable battle, John Woodward and his former teacher Richard Jordan find themselves in a foreign land, pursued by relentless enemies. Little do they know, that the enemy they find themselves fighting is much more familiar then previously thought...

Genre: Adventure/War fic. Also some journey fic themes.
Rating: T/PG-13
Mentor needed: Grammar/Description
Prior writing experience: On Serebii: The Sevii Islands Saga, Four Island High, The Gospel of Emmanuel, The Price of Freedom. Real World: 5 on both AP English exams, nearly fifty essays this year of college alone, short stories published in various school media.

Writing sample (optional, but expected): Link to one of my better chapters. Rather short.

Other: I really need a beta to act as a spell-check/grammar check. I tend to give my writing a twice-over in regards to this, but I always miss a lot of mistakes. It would be nice for some help. Also, I need the beta/mentor to comment on description, and offer some advice. Also some advice regarding plot would be nice. Updates range from once a month to 2/3 times a month.

[Bay]

I would like to give this mentoring thing a try too.

Category -Plot and Fluency
Genre Specialty - My strengths are mystery and suspense, but I'm willing to look through anything.
Method of Contact - PMs, VMs, or email (don't want to it to go public, so hit me up either PM or VMs to ask for it if you want to send me your story through email)
Proofreader - No.

Samples of Writing: Nothing, Everything and Rid of the Scarlet Letter are two of my stories I believe showcase plot and fluency as my strong points, one a chaptered fic and one a one shot. There's one other story I thought I did plot and fluency well, but 1)it's not Pokemon, 2)some smut, and 3)there are some things content wise that distracts the plot! D<

Samples of Reviews:
Lucki (from FFnet- My review is under the penname Bay Alexison)
Blackout World (from Pokecommunity)
Pokemon XD^3: The Waves of Truth (Chapter 25- Not my best plot and fluency review, but bleh D: )
My 29 reviews for the Heart and Soul one shot contest back in 2009. (Sorry, didn't feel like going through all my reviews there. D: I know though most of them I reviewed plot and fluency).

Other stuff: I WILL be looking at canon stuff to see if you at least got the basics of stuff from Pokemon down, but I'm pretty flexible.

[smashlloyd20]

Applying to be mentored.

Oh, Bob, you might want to skip over some of the summary; you read my fic and the summary goes farther into the story than it is so far.

Story title: School of Champions
Fandom (preferably pokémon): Pokemon
Plot summary: Sam Stone has been pressured into going to an elite Pokemon school by his father. The only problem; he's a terrible battler. He can't do it for his life. Many of the students at the school are unfriendly to him because of this. But he makes some friends, and his strong bond with his Pokemon helps him in unexpected ways along the road. But when disaster strikes on a field trip to Mt. Coronet, how will Sam and his new friends deal with an unexpected disaster?
Genre: Adventure
Rating: PG
Mentor needed: Plot Mentor
Prior writing experience: None on Serebii on any other online fanfic site, but IRL I'm considered a really good writer and I once won a school-wide essay contest.
Preferred mentor (optional): None
Writing sample (optional, but expected): Link to the second chapter.
Other (optional): None

[bobandbill]

Added you three to the list as mentorees/mentors, whichever applies to you. =p