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Thread: Proud to be your Slave-This dude's fanfic is rated PG-13

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    Default Proud to be your Slave-This dude's fanfic is rated PG-13

    Hello, first time fanfic writer here. Never been a big fan of 'em but I thought I'd write one for fun and to promote my Ash's Snivy x Trip's Servine ship. (Dunno if saying that I'm promoting something is allowed. If it's not, Mr/Ms. Mod, I will kindly eat my words and delete that previous statement.)

    This fanfiction is a bit of a romantic comedy/satire, if you know what I mean, and it takes place shortly after the tenth episode of Black and White. You know where Ash's generic, full-of-himself rival for the next season or two (Trip) is introduced and they duke it out. This fanfic centers around the snobbish Trip and his Servine, whose completely infatuated with Ash's Snivy after being love whipped by it. My narrative also tackles the massive plot hole in the anime on how Trip had no idea who Ash was, contrary to Mr. Ketchum's numerous achievements which include winning every Pokemon League Championship known to mankind, defeating legendary pokemon, busting up international criminal syndicates and saving the world on multiple occasions. Yup, Ash is just a kid from the boonies.

    Anyway, here's the prologue! (Sorry, it may be cheesy but the Boston song is an apt title for it.) Points for anyone who can spot the two Doctor Who references. Enjoy!

    (P.S. I do not know what a so-called "PM list" is but I will gladly add anyone who requests me to add them. )

    Prologue: More Than a Feeling


    “Pardon me, ma'am, but you’re blocking my shot!” announced a five-foot tall photographer by the name of Trip as he deliberately shoved an old woman with a walker.

    He fixed his lime green digital camera’s lenses upon a gaggle of bird pokemon that were passing overhead. “Ah, these are such fabulous specimens of Swall-OOUCH!” he screamed as the elderly female retaliated by ramming him with her walker. She than proceeded to batter him with the metal apparatus until he cried "GRANDMA!"

    Five minutes later, Trip triumphantly limped about Castelia City in such a joyous, happy mood that not even a violent altercation with a blood thirsty ninety year old could possibly deter it. His joviality was all due to him winning a petty, little Pokemon match against a Living Legend. Of course, he had not known at the time that the stupid looking, 10 year old, hillbilly boy that had come all the way from that lawless poverty-stricken slum, Pallet Town and challenged him, was not only from a thoroughbred family of Pokemon masters; he was one.

    All his life, Trip had heard simpletons gossiping over “the boy wonder” and saying moronic things like “Didja hear?! Some little kid named Alf Ketchup says he’s going to conquer da Johto League Championship! He’s Simply MADD!” but he had no idea who they were babbling on about and he preferred not to congregate with such fools.

    He also never watched the Unova news channels which were rife with coverage on the incredible traveling and battling feats of this little boy because he firmly believed it was all a bunch of corrupt left wing hooey administered by liberals like the heinous Vice President of the nation, Mr. Es Cade.

    It took a quick search on his 'Pokenav Touch' after his battle with the enigmatic hick child before Trip’s ignorance was shattered. On a free encyclopedia with the bizarre name “Bulbapedia,” Trip found veritable gold mine of knowledge and statistics on this one “Abe Keychain” that everyone one and their Venusaur was clamoring about. He learned the kid was a total prodigy- his near infinite career victories had set a record that no doubt would be encased in stone sooner or later, he had captured more critters than Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan combined, and he was the venerable A-Rod of Pokemon League Championships. “Well, your regime of old has certainly fallen, Mr. Kit-Katcham, with your crushing defeat at my hand!” Trip said, gloating to himself while nursing the tiny cut he had received from the old woman’s nail file. “It’s about time I forced this geezer into retirement! Hee! Hee! Ha ha ha!”

    Little did Trip know that this little country bumpkin had pity for the diminutive trainer he was with his massive anger management issues and an annoying "I'm so god-like" complex. In truth, the Pallet Town native had chosen a clumsy, novice strategy during their battle on purpose. Why was this? The noble and always respectful Pokemon master, Ash H. Ketchum, was always highly sympathetic towards rookies, namely the arrogant ones who were too big for their britches and so insecure that they had to hire a professional cheer-leading squad to back up their confidence.

    Thus, Ash would often masquerade as a complete amateur for the sake of these pathetic wannabes, catching heavily inexperienced and handicapped Pokemon to battle with while leaving his over leveled, heavily juiced, occasionally legendary beasts at home simply to give these arrogant little losers a small confidence boost in their lackluster abilities and/or Pokemon. However, if Ash could have foreseen that Trip would actually look up who he was and become a complete megalomaniac bent on stalking him and his friends and acting all condescending whenever they met, he would have had the Pokeball containing his omnipotent, all powerful Charizard sent over and secretly cause the spontaneous combustion of a certain photographer midget, ASAP.

    However, this story is not about the stuck-up, little xenophobe named Trip or ASH “jesus” KETCHUM but the one true loser of the insignificant battle they had. His name was Servine and he had been forced to go to bed without his favorite pokefeed and had to sit alone in his dark Pokeball while the rest of Trip’s Pokemon were taken out to a celebratory dinner at Applebee’s. In his battle against Ketchum, Trip's Servine had suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of a minuscule starter Pokemon and Trip certainly felt his Pokemon's folly should not go unpunished. Servine sat motionless in the cold, gloomy space that was practically engulfing him. A marginally known fact about the high tech device known as a Pokeball is that much like a TARDIS, the apparatus' interior is much larger than its exterior. A creature that inhabits the inside is not cramped and has plenty of room to romp about. Unfortunately the inside is also just a vapid, spherical room with a largely depressing atmosphere to it and generally a low temperature too. Most of Trip’s other Pokemon frequently grumbled about the great lack of central heating in their Pokeballs but Trip had saved the most frigid one specially for Servine.

    Typically, Servine amused himself and passed the time inside his cold, dark jail cell by pretending he was a 945 year old Time Lord but this evening he was far too depressed and flustered for a silly fantasy. Not only was he upset that he had failed his trainer, (even though said Trainer had denied several of his earnest requests to implement a spa and golf resort into his pokeball) which was always commandment number one in the Pokemon credo to never do; his heart had began skipping at odd beats ever since he went head to head against a female Snivy.

    Both he and the Snivy were grass snake Pokemon. They had long slender bodies, light green skin for camouflaging in shrubbery and both had the very odd tendency to swallow up Rattatas whole and slowly digest the purple mice as the visibly large carcass bulged out of the snake Pokemon’s bellies. Servine had first met the Snivy when he too was a Snivy (before Trip started slipping imported Rare Candies into his food and made him evolve) but now that he was a Servine he had looked at her with a different gaze. He knew during their battle that she knew a powerful battle tactic simply known as Attract. Attract allowed its user to confuse the hormones of a Pokemon of the opposite sex and leave them in a stupefied daze, wing-ding eyes and all, while the move’s user delivered their coup de gras upon the lovestruck victim. “I know” Servine thought “She’s just a little seductress. She’s just pure ice on the inside but damn, the way she hit me with that Vine whip…it felt soooooo right!”

    He was completely bewildered and ever since he regained consciousness (for Snivy had knocked him out seconds flat with her seduction techniques during the battle) this impassioned feeling stayed and warmed Servine as he sat shivering and lonely at the center of this cold, dark prison of his soul. “Why has this feeling remained with me?” he questioned the dark, as he laid on the metallic floor. His thick snake-like eyelids drooped and closed over sad eyes and he began to rest. His heart seemed to echo her name as it throbbed…


    Sni…vy………….Sni…vy…………..Sni…vy ………………….Sniv……………





    Meanwhile, Trip and his other more appreciated Pokemon had a smashing great time at Applebee’s until his Tranquill challenged his half wasted Frillish to an intense competition in eating cheese fries. The drunken jellyfish Pokemon ended up sucking up too much cheese and a brown toupee that belonged to a middle aged man named Mr. Sukizo (who did not find this very quote unquote “remarkable”) and hawking the giant cheesy and hairy loogie into the face of the restaurants manager. Trip spent the rest of the night washing dishes to pay for the collateral damage and the loss of some random guy’s toupee.



    And so, that concludes the intro. Tell me what you guys think and if I should devote my time to improving it or not. A heavy, scathing critique would be a great service to me. Thanks!
    Last edited by FollyandTrudley; 13th March 2011 at 5:39 PM. Reason: Spacing out the paragraph a bit more, editing grammer mistakes, spelling, changing things to make more sense, the works

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