View Poll Results: Favorite main character?

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  • Josh

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  • Ace

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  • Aravan

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Thread: PKMN Origins: The Johto Saga

  1. #1
    RaikouRider243 Guest

    Default PKMN Origins: The Johto Saga (PG for mild language)

    This is my first feeble attempt at a fic. I posted my idea in the Authors' Cafe, but got no response. **cue dramatic music**

    Prologue

    Long ago, when humans first started to tame Pokémon, the world had not seen war for hundreds of years. The world was a peaceful and prosperous place. But all of this happiness needed a source. That source was Ho-oh, the guardian of all Pokémon. Ho-oh brought with it great abundance to the world.

    When humans first realized that Pokémon could be trained to assist with helpful tasks, the world advanced. Time flows on, and technology advances. As kingdoms grew, so did potential sources of conflict. All that was needed was a spark to begin a conflict. Then...it happened.

    A massive war broke out between two of the greatest kingdoms, and the Pokémon were turned against each other. Shortly into the war, both sides discovered that Pokémon were excellent fighters. More establishments were drawn in and defeated quickly at the hands of the Pokémon. As the war drew on, the units left had stronger and stronger Pokémon. The powers of their Pokémon became so strong that much of the population and establishment could be wiped out.

    When all hope was lost, three mysterious warriors rushed in from the horizon, each mounted atop a large beast Pokémon: one a tiger with lightning-bolt stripes, carrying with it storm clouds; another, a tough, fire-spewing lion-like creature; another, a blue cheetah-like creature with an icy crystal on its head. The beasts could run far faster than any horse man had known, and attacked viciously, using the elements of fire, water, and lightning.

    These three brave warriors stayed true to the Pokémon. They were known as the Beast Riders. After the war had reached its climax, they rode throughout the land, spreading justice and peace, just as Ho-oh did. Upon their return to Tin Tower, they met Ho-oh for the first time, and swore upon their lives to guard it forever. But the people thought they wanted war. What was left of the armies of trainers stormed the Tin Tower, killing the three warriors and their legendary Beasts. After the army retreated, Ho-oh flew above the tower, weeping in memory of the three brave warriors. This all happened about seven hundred years ago.

    Just a scant thirty years later, Ecruteak's Brass Tower burst into flames as a result of lightning striking it. Lugia, the legendary bird Pokémon that was said to roost atop it, fled to the southwest swiftly, never to be seen again. The fires raged for three days and three nights, causing the tower to collapse into the ground. After the three days and three nights, a miracle befell the city: a torrential downpour put out the flames, revealing a smoldering ruin of what was the home of Lugia.

    When the downpour ended, Ho-oh flew above the ruins of the tower, shining a rainbow straight into what was left of the tower basement. This light branched off into beams of yellow, blue, and red. As the different lights changed shape, it was evident what Ho-oh was doing: giving new life to the legendary Beasts that sacrificed their lives for Ho-oh. However, the revived Beasts were but dwarves of their former selves. In times of trial and tribulation, three warriors chosen by Ho-oh will ride across the land, quenching war and promoting peace. They are the Beast Riders, and they are the guardians of Pokémon.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Flame away, I guess. *gets ready to dodge tomatoes*

    EDIT: Some of the characters will use mild language, thus meriting a PG rating.

  2. #2
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    Hey, that was pretty good. I like how you described the origin of the legendary dogs and built a whole legend out of them already. You made it so that they are already heroes before the first chapter. There were some points of the story where I didn't quite understand what was happening but that's okay because it was clear enough for the main storyline to get through. Keep this up, I'm gonna stick around to see where this one goes.
    Lost in the Haze The main storyline revolves around a boy named Chris who winds up on a pokemon journey without a pokemon[/conventionality]. He meets a girl named Lucy, who isn't really what she seems. She's quite detached, while at the same time appearing to be warm and friendly. Her true identity and past are amongst the myriad plot twists that make this fic so enjoyable. Alongside their journey, in a different place but intertwined with the main story is a Pikachu who has evolved from Pichu but forgotten how to use electric attacks. The two journies collide eventually, brought together by the appearance of the Haze, a destructive force able to take the form of the legendaries.

  3. #3
    Draconic Mage Guest

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    it would still be good if you left it like it was. Just because it woulkd play out slower wouldn't meant it would be a bad fic.

  4. #4
    Treecko 93 Guest

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    Oh. My. Gosh. This is your first fic? It rocks for a first! 'reat ("jee" doesn't work well) flow, I loved it. Pretty nice description where needed. Love the plot. It could use a litte more lenth even for a prolo'ue, but I was fine. This'll be 'reat, I know it. You've 'ot one fan. Keep it up!

    P.S. Watch out how you introduce le'endaries. A fic can be excellent up until le'endaries are involved. Then it all falls down.

  5. #5
    Spartan 117 Guest

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    Very good proleague, I expect another good fan-fic.
    RAted:4 stars

  6. #6
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    Flame away, I guess. *gets ready to dodge tomatoes*
    *hides tomato behind back and whistles innocently*

    Nah j/k. In fact *hands you the tomato* That's for writing a pretty damn good fic for your first try. o.O

    Anyways, a nice prolouge that describes a lot of how the beasts first died and how humans found out the powers of Pokémon. So plotwise, I believe your fine. But heed my warning; legendaries, if not used properly, can kill your fic.

    Grammar/spelling were fine, no need to go into detail on that.

    Actually, I really can't go into detail on anything since this is a prolouge . . . Meh, I'll save it for later ja?

    LaTeR dAyZ!

  7. #7
    RaikouRider243 Guest

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    I'm expecting chapter 1 to be done by Christmas morning.

    If you want to know what I'm up to as far as characters are concerned, then read the spoilers.

        Spoiler:


    Don't flame me for this. Give me a chance to develop my story and you'll see I'm not making a standard legendary fic.

    As far as a rating, I'm thinking PG or PG-13, depending on how vividly I describe     Spoiler:
    , as well as some occasional minor four-letter language. Probably PG, more than likely.

    I'm thinking nine chapters total.

  8. #8
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    Be careful with characters meeting legendaries as well. Do not, I repeat, do not have the legendaries be all friendly to the characters no matter how trustworthy they appear or sound to be.

    That too can also kill a fic heh. ^^;

    No one's flaming either. =P Constructive criticism, yeah, but not flaming.

  9. #9
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    What's wrong with friendly legendaries? It seems to be an aspect that's already intertwined with his story and I kinda like the idea of humans wielding the power of legendaries.
    Lost in the Haze The main storyline revolves around a boy named Chris who winds up on a pokemon journey without a pokemon[/conventionality]. He meets a girl named Lucy, who isn't really what she seems. She's quite detached, while at the same time appearing to be warm and friendly. Her true identity and past are amongst the myriad plot twists that make this fic so enjoyable. Alongside their journey, in a different place but intertwined with the main story is a Pikachu who has evolved from Pichu but forgotten how to use electric attacks. The two journies collide eventually, brought together by the appearance of the Haze, a destructive force able to take the form of the legendaries.

  10. #10
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    What's wrong with friendly legendaries? It seems to be an aspect that's already intertwined with his story and I kinda like the idea of humans wielding the power of legendaries.
    Well, would a mighty, powerful creature go and snuggle up to you (of course, over exaggeration on that part) and befriend you like that?

    I mean, does a moutain lion or tiger sniff you and just suddenly know that your good and not attack you or growl at you or whatever?

    And think about it. If the were lifted up from the dead or whatever by Ho-Oh and remember what happened to them, would you want to trust humans just like that either?

    It's just snapping reality into the fic. If you don't, you could have a Mary-Sue on your hands.

  11. #11
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    Well, I do see your point but you can't neccessarily bind all fics by those rules or else there would be an unavoidable plot element present in all fics. I think that with this storyline, he can make the friendly legendary thing work. And he can easily get around the non-feasability of a legendary instantaneously befriending him by including some kind of battle sequence where the human proves his worthiness to wield the legendary's power. I think that RaikouRider can make it work if he attacks the problems surrounding the situation's feasability carefully.
    Lost in the Haze The main storyline revolves around a boy named Chris who winds up on a pokemon journey without a pokemon[/conventionality]. He meets a girl named Lucy, who isn't really what she seems. She's quite detached, while at the same time appearing to be warm and friendly. Her true identity and past are amongst the myriad plot twists that make this fic so enjoyable. Alongside their journey, in a different place but intertwined with the main story is a Pikachu who has evolved from Pichu but forgotten how to use electric attacks. The two journies collide eventually, brought together by the appearance of the Haze, a destructive force able to take the form of the legendaries.

  12. #12
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    Very cool background plot so far, as I like the legend and war behind the story. As Breezy said, Legendary control can be difficult, but as I'm writing a Legendary fic myself, I've found the best way to control them is to not involve Pokéballs of any kind, not allow the characters to ever battle with them(as in battling for entertainment or tournament purposes), and involve some sort of way they need to prove themselves. Using, but not abusing Legendaries is the key to success

    ~Chibi~


    Ever wondered what would happen if humans had the power to overthrow the Legendaries? To either use them for their own ends, or eliminate them altogether? One thing is for certain...the balance between human and Legendary is unstable.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    8/30/12: CHAPTER 7: “Into the Fire” POSTED!!!
    Chapter 8 progress: 9/12 pages


  13. #13
    Draconic Mage Guest

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    I'm looking forward to chapter one, even though I'm in the RPG, alot of it has been changed, so it will surprise even me.

  14. #14
    RaikouRider243 Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chibi Pika
    Very cool background plot so far, as I like the legend and war behind the story. As Breezy said, Legendary control can be difficult, but as I'm writing a Legendary fic myself, I've found the best way to control them is to not involve Pokéballs of any kind, not allow the characters to ever battle with them(as in battling for entertainment or tournament purposes), and involve some sort of way they need to prove themselves. Using, but not abusing Legendaries is the key to success

    ~Chibi~
    Wow. I was afraid to post this until I got commentary from an excellent author like you. Thanks for the help, and it will change my idea about how they are used.     Spoiler:
    I was going to have some method to prove themselves worthy of the position.     Spoiler:


    I'm still working on Chapter 1, and am about halfway done. I'm just trying to decide on what Pokémon each character will have. I am fond of keeping Pokémon stats in my RPGs. HP and levels will still be going on here, but it will be a behind-the-scenes thing.

    EDIT: Chapter 1 is finally up!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chapter 1: Pokémon Scholars

    It was a beautiful spring Friday afternoon in Ecruteak City, as three young adults studying to become Pokémon Historians continued their research into Ecruteak's past. The professor of the class was a renowned expert in the field of archaeology, and had contributed to the discovery of many legendary Pokémon, some of which are rumored to roam the world today.

    "That will be all for today, my pupils. I shall remind you that your compositions for this class are due in three weeks. I am not accepting late papers," he announced as the class was dismissed.

    Out of all the students of his entire Pokémon Legends History class, Aravan was by far the most excited to leave class that day. A junior hoping to someday become a master of Water and Ice Pokémon, he stands six feet strong. He has enrolled in the Pokémon Legends History class to learn more about his favorite Pokémon: Suicune, the legendary Beast said to be the north wind reborn. When he is not busy with his schoolwork, he trains his Pokémon in an effort to locate, battle with, and capture the legendary Pokémon he idolizes so much.

    "Whew. I'm glad the weekend is here! I need to catch up on my training!" Aravan joyfully announced to his friends, Josh and Ace.

    "Me too. I'm sick of listening to that old cur babble!" Ace remarked smartly.

    "Ace, he's an expert in the field, and he's not a cur. Maybe old, but not a cur. You may not like him, but I do. If you knew you would have to put up with such a 'cur', as you put it so smart-alecky, then why did you enroll in the class?" Josh asked Ace.

    Ace was puzzled with himself over Josh's question. "Gee, Josh. I never really gave it much thought. It's just some filler class to get elective requirements."

    "Ace, you could have taken a much easier elective than this. This class is in-depth, as you know quite well. There has to be another reason."

    Ace, still puzzled, struggled to come up with a response to Josh's indirect question. Ace is a lover of fire Pokémon, and is in great physical shape. He has a desire to play professional soccer, but also has a passion for heated Pokémon battles. Though he does not enjoy the class as much as Josh or Aravan do, the professor gets Ace's attention almost instantaneously when he mentions Entei during a lecture. Ace does not look into the legendary Pokémon much, but his favorite is Entei. That has been reflected in the topic for his research paper for Pokémon Legends History: the significance of Entei in the history of Pokémon Origins.

    "Josh, I have something to tell you, and you alone." Ace subtly said to Josh.

    "And what would that be?" Josh replied. But he then remembered that Aravan was with them, and instinctively slapped his forehead with his hand. "Oh, that was a stupid question. Where do you want to talk about this?"

    "How about my room, at seven o'clock tonight?" Ace suggested.

    "Fine with me. I'm not doing anything anyway. I will be in the library until then. If you feel the need to talk about this earlier, that's where I'll be."

    "See you then!" Ace replied in agreement as he ran off for his dorm.

    Aravan, curious about Josh's conversation with Ace, slowly walked over to Josh. From the nervous look on his face, there was obviously a lot on his mind.

    "Josh?" Aravan asked, hoping to get Josh's attention.

    "Yes?"

    "What were you and Ace talking about?"

    "Aravan, that is none of your business. Why do you have to be so nosy all the
    time?"

    "That was rude, Josh."

    "OK, Aravan, OK. We were talking about his research paper that's due in three weeks. But that's all I'm going to tell you. I'm going to the library," Josh quickly stated as he ran off for the library downstairs.

    "Josh, wait! ...He's already gone. Oh, well. Time to catch up on my training."

    And so, the three eager students went their seperate ways. Eager to train his Croconaw and Houndour, Aravan immediately left campus for the areas surrounding Ecruteak City, where wild Pokémon and skilled trainers were itching to battle. Ace left for his dorm, where he wasted away the rest of the afternoon reading books. He never even thought about his assignment once. Josh, on the other hand, could think about nothing but the assignment, and consequently, spent the rest of the afternoon in the campus library. The entire time he was there, he could never get his mind off Raikou, the legendary Beast of Thunder. It is said to have the ability to achieve land speeds unmatched by any other Pokémon.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    About two and a half hours later, it was nearly time for Josh and Ace to have their conversation about class that afternoon. After researching many related legends, Josh came to an astonishing conclusion that he thought would get him a Ph. D. in Ancient Pokémon History. Excited to report his findings, he frantically darted through the building to Ace's dorm.

    "Ace, you will not believe what I just discovered from my research! It could be revolutionary!" Josh exclaimed, unable to hold back his joy.

    "Josh, why are you working on that now? The paper's not due for another three weeks! Oh yeah, you're being the overachiever you always are. What?" Ace replied, trying to get Josh to speak softer.

    "Sorry about that hollering, Ace," Josh apologized, heavily breathing in and out in an effort to douse his excitement. "I looked into the history of the Beasts along with a couple of other legends, and I came to an astonishing conclusion. It ties together the Ecruteak legends and the origin of Pokémon battling. I checked out all four of the books I referenced in composing this idea. That way, we have them for future reference. Listen carefully."

    The idea immediately got Ace's complete attention. "I'm all ears, Josh," he confirmed.

    "All right. Let me retell the story of the Legends of Johto, all of which once resided in this very city. There were once two towers in Ecruteak City; the Brass Tower to the west, and the Tin Tower to the east. Each tower was the roost of a powerful, legendary bird Pokémon. But one day, a tragedy befell the Brass Tower. A massive lightning bolt struck the tower, and the two bird Pokémon fled immediately. The lightning bolt sparked a tremendous fire that raged for three days and three nights. After the third night, when the sun was about to rise, a massive storm came up out of nowhere. This storm produced torrential rainfall, putting out the fire. The once beautiful Brass Tower was now but a smoldering ruin.

    To make matters worse, three legendary Pokémon resided in the Brass Tower when it burst into flame. The three Pokémon were said to have been born of lightning, water, and fire. Those three Pokémon died in the tragic fire. After the torrential rainfall subsided, the legendary bird Pokémon of rainbow colors shined a spectrum of light into the smoldering tower, reviving the three legendary Pokémon. They are said to sleep in that tower to this day, doing nothing but testing mankind by letting certain individuals get close."

    Ace was in shock over what he had heard. Though he had heard this legend from the professor before, he had not heard it in such a fashion as to be so easily understandable. "Wow, Josh. You must be obsessed with the legendary Pokémon to know the story this well. That answers all the questions I had for you after class this afternoon."

    "Excellent. Now let me tell you about the origin of Pokémon Battling. This legend occurs shortly after the one I just told you, about seven centuries ago. It demonstrates how corrupt we are as human beings."

    Ace became confused at Josh's last sentence. "Corrupt? That's not what I have learned here. According to the professors that teach me here, man is basically good."

    Josh quickly refuted Ace's point. "If man is basically good, then how can you explain what I am about to tell you? Anyways, I do not want to start a religious discussion; those can go pretty haywire."

    "Fine, Josh. I'm listening." Ace snapped back.

    "Many centuries ago, the world was a free, peaceful, and prosperous place. This was when humans first tamed wild Pokémon and brought them into their families. They helped with many tedious and difficult tasks, causing the civilization to progress. Now keep in mind that they didn't have Poké Balls back then--"

    "They didn't?! Then how did they capture the Pokémon?" Ace inquired loudly.

    "They befriended Pokémon that are weaker and easy to capture," Josh answered. "Any strong Pokémon, like the ones we have now, were too dangerous to tame. Heck, my Charmander would probably be too dangerous for an ordinary family to bring in. Anyway, back to the story. But one day, a group of wild Pokémon were attacking a few random people, when suddenly, a Spearow belonging to one of the families flew out in front of the attacking Pokémon and drove them away with a few Gusts of wind. It was this one freak accident that caused the aristocrats to do a great deal of secret research into this incident. They reproduced the incident many times, using different Pokémon to defend against the attacks. After many months of research, the aristocracy discovered that Pokémon were excellent fighters.

    After this incredible discovery, the government of Ecruteak began to slowly turn away from a peaceful aristocracy into a militant totalitarian dictatorship, with surrounding establishments in terror of the abilities of the Pokémon. Little did they know that another civilization, supposedly located where Goldenrod City is located now, had made a similar discovery almost simultaneously. When that establishment was invaded by the Ecruteak military, a fierce battle took place between the two armies. Both sides suffered heavy casualties, human and Pokémon. That was the beginning of the Great Pokémon War, the war that started Pokémon battling."

    Ace listened intently the entire time Josh retold the legend. By this time, it was already dark outside. "So mankind discovered Pokémon battling through a vicious power struggle? And today it's a very popular sport?" Ace asked Josh, with the intent of confirming his reasoning.

    "That is exactly what I have read, and when you think about it in today's context, it is quite sickening. Using Pokémon to win a power struggle... Well, that goes to show you that power corrupts."

    "I will agree with you on that, Josh. Too much power in the hands of a single individual does tend to make that person corrupt," Ace agreed.

    "Then you just refuted your own point that man is basically good. If man is basically good, then power should not corrupt; instead, that man would use his power for the benefit of mankind. But that does not happen. Take a look at world history. Just under a hundred years ago, a power struggle overseas lead to a world war that nearly wiped everything out. Millions of lives were lost in a short period of time, just to stop the regime of one power-hungry individual. Think about what that was like, only with Pokémon. That's what the Great Pokémon War was like."

    The point Josh made seemed to penetrate the mind and soul of Ace. No matter how hard he tried, Ace could not imagine a world war of Pokémon battles in an effort to end a power struggle. He was nearly speechless. The response he gave several minutes later was a struggle for him to utter. "Though you have given me plenty of time to visualize such a war, what I can imagine cannot even come close to how you described it."

    Josh was getting more and more anxious to get to his point, and started speaking more rapidly as a result. "Back then, the powerful Pokémon we know today, like Charizard, were weapons of mass destruction. A single one could wipe out an entire village almost effortlessly. As the war dragged on, the battalions left had stronger and stronger Pokémon. This war never seemed to end. The sources I looked at never gave any details about how the war actually ended; however, I have come to my own conclusion, and it makes more sense than any other idea I have tried to come up with. This idea ties both of the legends together. This is why I was in a rush to meet you tonight."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    As Josh started to wrap the two legends together, someone knocked at Ace's door.

    "I'll get it, Josh," Ace offered.

    Ace opened the door, only to see that Aravan had dropped by after finishing his training for the night and grabbing a bite to eat. He immediately let him into the medium-size, fairly clean dorm.

    "What's up, guys?" Aravan wondered.

    "We're discussing the legend--"

    Josh interrupted Ace again. "After I went to the library to research for my composition assignment due in three weeks, I came to an astonishing conclusion. I was building up the context, and was about to share my point with him--when you walked in the door."

    Aravan all of a sudden became curious about what Josh had researched, and wanted to go to the library to look up information about Suicune's role in the legends, but Josh pleaded him not to leave; Josh said he could tell it better than the books in the library can. They squabbled for a few minutes, until Aravan finally gave in. He then muttered in a defeatist tone, "All right, Josh, you win. Tell me about your conclusion."

    "Thank you," he replied. "Now, here is where I believe the legends tie in together. Listen carefully, or you will not be able to follow this. From the moment the first Pokémon was commanded to attack in the Great Pokémon War, the power struggle was vicious, and only got worse as lives were lost. Clearly, individual battles were being won, but neither side had an overall advantage for the vast majority of the war. The locations of war lines shifted from time to time, but no one side could really gain any significant advantage over another. It was absolutely brutal. With each confrontation, the lives of hundreds of people and Pokémon were lost, as both sides took no POWs."

    "I'm not a war person," Ace declared. "What's a POW, Josh?"

    "A prisoner of war," Josh answered.

    "So what happened to civilians that lived in villages that were captured by the enemy?"

    "The women and children were killed, and the men either had to join their army or be killed. The Pokémon the families might have would be used for the war effort, as were any rations and other supplies the family had. Anything that could be used. It could very well have been "total war", but I doubt it got that far before it was broken up. That's what I am about to get to with my story."

    "Oh my god!" Aravan and Ace exclaimed at the same time.

    "It is scary, isn't it? The idea of total war," Josh replied, unphased by his friends' reactions. "Both sides were running low on men and supplies, but the men left all had very powerful Pokémon; also, the war was mainly concentrated east of Ecruteak City at that point in time. The tide of the war was beginning to shift at this point. When the losing army, which I will hereafter refer to as the rebellion, became boxed in around the east side of Johto, it seemed that the rebels were doomed... until three warriors in yellow, blue, and red armor, one in each color, came rushing in on the backs of extremely large four-legged Beasts."

    "Whoa! I don't believe it!" Aravan was in utter shock over what he had just heard.

    "Let me finish my story," Josh requested. "I'm almost done. Anyway, these three warriors, mounted atop incredibly fast Pokémon, rushed to the aid of the rebels. The powers of the warriors' Pokémon far outclassed the Pokémon the enemy generals had. Though the generals tried to retreat, they could not even make it back to Mahogany or Azalea before the Beasts caught up to them. Knowing the powers they were up against, the entire enemy regiment surrendered, ending the war. The world was at peace...for a time. For that period of time, these warriors were praised for saving the Johto region from a war that could have engulfed her in complete destruction.

    Some time after the war, the warriors and their Beasts were summoned to Tin Tower. There they met the guardian of the Beasts, the flying Pokémon of rainbow colors. That day, the warriors swore upon their lives to guard this Pokémon. But there were still some trainers loyal to the recently defeated enemy. They gathered other trainers not affiliated with the warriors yet, and stormed the tower. This skirmish resulted in more deaths, including the deaths of the three warriors who so gallantly rode in from the west to save many, many people from dying at the hands of the enemy Pokémon. The three Beasts were so enraged that whoever didn't retreat from the tower immediately was a dead man."

    "You're talking about Raikou, Entei, and Suicune, right? And Ho-oh is the guardian?" Ace asked in a confirmatory tone.

    "Yes, and yes," Josh replied.

    Ace and Aravan were both speechless at Josh's conclusion. To them, it seemed too fantastical, yet at the same time, it made a great deal of sense. It was a paradoxy, in that sense. Josh, however, was still grinning in his excitement. There was a passion in him not present in anyone else Aravan or Ace had met in their lives. A passion that appeared not to be just a fantasy.

    "It's running on eight o'clock, and I should start organizing my notes for my research paper. See you," Josh said as he headed for the door.

    That reminded Aravan of something he wanted to do back at his own room. "I should get going too, Ace. See you in class Monday!" he remarked as he left the room, following Josh.

    On the way back to their rooms, Josh summarized to Aravan what he discussed with Ace before he got back from training. It was a long walk down the winding hallway, giving Josh plenty of time to adequately explain to Aravan how he came to the radical conclusion he was still excited about. He begain to wonder how he could get to sleep that night.

    "Josh, I can imagine how you feel. I wonder what will become of this next week," Aravan wondered.

    "Well, my room is down this hall to the left. Looks like we will be going our seperate ways now. See you, Aravan," Josh said.

    "Later, Josh!"

    Aravan and Josh headed their seperate ways, back to their rooms. Aravan was ready to retire for the night, but Josh couldn't help wondering about his discovery. He was on the computer, analyzing and outlining his notes until nearly ten o'clock in the evening. In an attempt to get his mind off the legends, he turned on the ten o'clock news, only to his dismay. This was the top news story of the night: "A distant chain of islands directly south of the Johto region has been conquered by a mysterious group of trainers allegedly linked to an underground criminal syndicate. The sudden attacks were conducted for no apparent reason. The central police force agency of the Johto region has sent spies to get insight on the sudden political takeover. All we know is the group appears to be a radical, militant band of trainers building up a sizable military force on these islands. Speculators suggest that Johto could be the syndicate's next target, with Ecruteak City as the main target of the invasion. In other news..."

    Josh immediately turned the television off in anger after hearing the headline. Normally, this kind of news would only affect a person closely following current events, but Josh could not get his mind off the potential development of this syndicate after hearing the form of the enemy and doing all the research he did.

    "Damn it!!" he exclaimed in his anger, trying to vent his frustration. "Whatever this criminal syndicate is, it can't be good news! If this is going where I think it is, this will be World War III--or worse, the Great War all over again! The police better get this situation under control before it hits the homeland. This is starting to scare me, but I should not be surprised. Like all my professors have taught me: 'If you do not learn from history, it will repeat itself.' Well, those police better have learned from history--we may not be so lucky this time if war becomes imminent!"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    All this chapter is...is an introduction to the characters, with a juicy plot detail or two in there. *gets ready to dodge tomatoes again*

  15. #15
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    Very interesting. Although I'm no expert on fanfics, this seems very well done: No grammatical errors that I could find, the length seems good, and you didn't mispell anything.
    Sig? Bah, I don't need no sig.

    ...Or maybe I do.

    I DON'T KNOW.

  16. #16
    Dark Magician Girl3 Guest

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    *Claps* I love the prologue love the way you explained suicune,raikou, and entei I think this is a pretty good fic. *Gives it 2 thumbs up*

  17. #17
    RaikouRider243 Guest

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    Thanks for the CC and positive comments, everyone! I enjoy getting comments like those, considering this is my first fic. If anyone's interested, I will be posting the Chapter 2 plot summary right now (nice juicy spoilers of course). Expect Chapter 2 to be posted by New Year's Day, probably earlier.

        Spoiler:


        Spoiler:


    I can also answer other plot questions if you're that curious.

  18. #18
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    The prologue was very well written, it has a lot of ambience about it, very legend like. I too am put off by the idea of simply befriending the Legendary Dogs. Perhaps they're tested, and even so, maybe one fails. Problems in the way of the characters is what makes it worth reading.
    Onto your second part, there are times, like when you describe your characters you slip into present tense. I also dislike the way the uni students speak, its so formal, and they're so polite. Who on earth says 'cur' in an everyday sentence. I can feel you're trying to keep up the same level of sophistication as you did in the prologue, but it just doesn't fit the characters. Just fall back and use slang, let them sneer and jeer and be kids and they'll be all the more enjoyable



    Caboose I swear to god, if you say anything positive I will kill all three of us right now! ~Church, currently Red vs Blue Obsessed!

  19. #19
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    I don't know how to feel about that last chapter. It was very well written indeed but I kinda felt like you were teasing the reader by never getting to the point that Josh was trying to make. Reiterating the entire legend was also a little bit unnecessary since it was in the prologue but then again maybe it was to serve as a reminder. I just felt like the only thing new that happened was the disturbance in those southern islands. A chapter of characters talking about legends may have been necessary for plot development though so I guess it may have been necessary to relate the entire legend again. I don't know, I just hope the next chapter has more things happening. As for the characters' dialogue, there are definitely college students who talk like that (they are college students right?) but I think giving them that tone leaves little room for any light-hearted jokes or just any kind of common element to their character that we as readers can relate to. They sound like legendary warriors already. It would've been neat to see them grow into having the mature attitudes they have now but that's not a flaw in your story at all. Character development and its pace are up to you.

    Overall, this is turning out to be quite a good story. Keep up the good work, I await the next chapter.
    Lost in the Haze The main storyline revolves around a boy named Chris who winds up on a pokemon journey without a pokemon[/conventionality]. He meets a girl named Lucy, who isn't really what she seems. She's quite detached, while at the same time appearing to be warm and friendly. Her true identity and past are amongst the myriad plot twists that make this fic so enjoyable. Alongside their journey, in a different place but intertwined with the main story is a Pikachu who has evolved from Pichu but forgotten how to use electric attacks. The two journies collide eventually, brought together by the appearance of the Haze, a destructive force able to take the form of the legendaries.

  20. #20
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    *Accidentally squishes tomato* Aww...that was my last one...
    Interesting legend, although I too, think the repeating of the legend of the 3 dogs wasn't needed and Josh took way to long getting to explaining that the beast riders ended the war. And I definately think that the Legacy Hunters know about the old legends... So , for now, make the descriptions past tense, throw in some slang and everyday speech, and above all, keep it up!

    ~Chibi~


    Ever wondered what would happen if humans had the power to overthrow the Legendaries? To either use them for their own ends, or eliminate them altogether? One thing is for certain...the balance between human and Legendary is unstable.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    8/30/12: CHAPTER 7: “Into the Fire” POSTED!!!
    Chapter 8 progress: 9/12 pages


  21. #21
    RaikouRider243 Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by billy5772
    Reiterating the entire legend was also a little bit unnecessary since it was in the prologue but then again maybe it was to serve as a reminder.
    Chibi Pika also brought up the length of Josh's explanations of what had already been said in the prologue. I was well aware of that when I wrote the chapter, and thus...

    The main reason I reiterated the legend was that the other characters didn't pay that much attention in class. Besides, Josh was the only one who actually did some studying into the lecture, and the idea he explained was radical and seemed like fantasy taken completely out of context. That's why he took so long explaining it. He had to explain the accepted legends his radical idea stemmed from.

    And Chibi, you also mention me slipping into present tense and my characters being too formal. I am not going to fix that in this edition, but I will fix those mistakes in a rewritten version before I ask for the fic to be moved to "Completed Fics." If this thread gets pruned before I finish, I will submit a new thread with all my work, corrected for the errors you cited. I will try to have my characters joke around a little more and use a little bit of slang, but they are serious characters in serious discussions, like the long one you keep talking about.

    I haven't started on chapter 2 yet, and I doubt I will today. I have a lot going on today. Maybe I will start tomorrow. And one more thing Chibi. You mentioned the     Spoiler:
    in your post. Right now, that's a spoiler, so put (Spoil) tags around it, please. It's a very minor spoiler right now, but one nonetheless.

  22. #22
    Eternal Rain Guest

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    Wow........Great fic this sorta reminds me of Spectreons fic: Dawn of a New Legacy.

  23. #23
    RaikouRider243 Guest

    Default Chapter 2: The Legacy Hunters

    Finally, Chapter 2 is up! If you read my fic, and especially if you leave a comment, please rate the fic using the Thread Rating system. I would really appreciate it.

    For those of you who think that accompanying music helps you get into the story more, I have added author's notes about accompanying music. If the music is not from a Pokémon game, I will provide a link to a MIDI of the music.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chapter 2: Legacy Hunters

    (Accompanying Music: Shinra Inc. Theme [FF7])
    Found at: http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console.../ff7shinra.mid


    Indeed, there was a criminal syndicate at work on the Sevii Island chain south of Johto. This syndicate, known as the Legacy Hunters, had its roots dating back centuries, all the way back to the Great Pokémon War. Every Pokémon-related criminal syndicate in existence to the present day can trace its roots back to the Legacy Hunters. Team Rocket, Team Magma, Team Aqua, even Cipher. You name it, it originated from the Legacy Hunters. Though nearly everyone in the world had heard of these organizations, the name "Legacy Hunters" would be foreign to most people if asked about it.

    The goal of the Legacy Hunters since the Great Pokémon War has been to conquer areas of interest to them, such as cities with ancient Pokémon-related landmarks. The reason why they have been so inactive up until now was that they have been planning an invasion of Johto; this way, they could gain control over Ecruteak City, home to two of the most significant historical sites in the entire world.

    The night after the news broke about the Sevii Islands falling to the Legacy Hunters, the top executives of the criminal organization were finalizing their long-awaited plans to invade the Johto region. A plan in the works for over twenty years was to be finalized that night. The president of the syndicate walked into the board room of their secret hideout located on Birth Island, a very mysterious island shrouded in a dense fog. "Over twenty years of hard work and innovation...and we are merely a matter of hours from conquering the world! HAH HAH HAH HA!!" a short, intelligent-looking black male proclaimed before loudly cackling in an evil fashion.

    "Indeed, Travis, sir. After waiting so long for this day, our plan is foolproof!" Maxie, leader of Team Magma, replied. "Though our plan to capture the legend of the earth, Groudon, has failed, we will have enough power to do anything we want after this!"

    "Yes," Travis agreed. "If all goes well, each and every one of you leaders present in this board room will have more power than you have ever imagined to this day. Ernest, do you have our plan of attack ready?"

    The human resource manager immediately responded, "Yes, sir, I do," then inserted a compact disc into a computer linked to a projection screen. Several minutes later, a modified graphic of the Johto region appeared on the large projection screen at the front of the board room. Travis then got up out of his seat, pushed his tall chair in, and walked up onto a stage where the projected image was located. He then called Ernest to join him in explaining the plan of attack. Travis was anxious to go ahead with the invasion plans, and immediately handed the presentation over to Ernest.

    "OK everyone...behind me you see a map of the Johto region. The area circled in green is our main attack target, Ecruteak City. Also note that there are only three main ways to enter Johto... except by flying, of course." Ernest moved the pointer on the screen to various landmarks in Johto, which were circled in yellow on the map: first of all, Olivine City; secondly, Tohjo Falls; and finally, Goldenrod City. He then began to explain the importance of these three locations.

    "As you can observe, the only sea route into Johto is via the port in Olivine City. It is also very close to our destination, that being Ecruteak City. If we can take Olivine City, we can put a virtual embargo on all sea traffic into Johto.

    Secondly, let me explain the significance of Goldenrod City. As many of you already know, a bullet train runs between Goldenrod City in Johto and Saffron City in Kanto. This is not nearly as important as controlling Olivine Port, especially if you consider that Goldenrod City is a much longer distance away from Ecruteak as opposed to Olivine." Ernest then took a few deep breaths and a few drinks of water before resuming his presentation.

    "But, if we do not take control over that train, we could have a huge army of skilled rebel trainers down our throats, including the legendary Indigo trainers known as the Elite Four. I don't know about Travis, but I know I possess some of the strongest Pokémon that the Legacy Hunters have available, and the Elite Four have Pokémon whose strength would overwhelm mine. Let me reiterate that I do not know how strong Travis' Pokémon are, but I don't think they could match up to those of the Elite Four. We may be able to take one of them, but that would really be stretching it.

    Thirdly, we should try to cut off Kanto from Johto by taking over the Tohjo Falls checkpoint linking the two regions. It would be best to do this after we have made well-established positions in both Olivine Port and Goldenrod City. That way, if we don't have the resources to hold a position there, we can still attack Ecruteak from the west and the north. This minimizes the number of reinforcements the enemy can get to Ecruteak. But we cannot spread too thin, or we will be attacked from too many sides at once."

    Maxie immediately stood up and asked Ernest a question. "Ernest, sir, exactly what are your plans once we take over Ecruteak City, and why would it be necessary to double-team them like this?"

    Ernest snapped his fingers for a few seconds, then replied, "Many of the trainers at Ecruteak City are sages who have been training Pokémon since before I was born. These sages live there in great numbers, and have very strong Pokémon. If we divide their attention between our forces attacking from the west and south, we should be able to handle them. As far as your other question, Maxie, only Travis would know the answer to that. You will have to ask him. But please save any further questions until after I finish. Now, for my plan of offense." With that, Maxie took her seat again.

    He then advanced the slide show to the next slide, which was a zoomed map of the west side of Johto. "My plan is to perform a night raid on Olivine Port. There is really only one powerful trainer in Olivine: the Gym Leader, Jasmine. If we blitz them well after dark, we should be able to take over the port well before she realizes what's happened, and certainly well before daybreak. Once we have that place occupied with a sizable force, we can move a small portion of them toward Goldenrod City, which isn't too far from water. After that, we can double-team Ecruteak, or try to shut down Tohjo Falls. How is it, Travis, sir?"

    Travis was delighted at the idea of a night raid, and quickly approved of the plan submitted by Ernest. He then asked if there were any questions.

    Maxie stood up again and asked, "Exactly how are we going to attack Goldenrod City from the water? The shore is surrounded by cliffs!"

    Archie, leader of Team Aqua, answered Maxie's question. "I have a school of Lapras that will do the trick. I also think that instead of taking our bulky watercraft to Olivine Port, we should use all of my Lapras. They will be much harder to spot."

    "Archie, that's an excellent idea. I commend you for that," Travis complimented.

    "Thank you," he calmly replied.

    Ernest then asked Travis a question on his mind during the entire presentation. "Travis, could you explain to us how we can rule the world by taking Ecruteak City?"

    Travis thought about the question for a second, then started laughing. "Don't you get it? Ecruteak is the homeland of many legendary Pokémon! If we can take over the city, all those legendary Pokémon are good as ours! With that kind of power, no one in the world can stop us! We'll make a fortune and have so much power we won't know what to do with it all!!" He then started cackling loudly, rejoicing in the evil cataclysm he was about to revive.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meanwhile, Josh, Ace, and Aravan wasted much of the afternoon playing with their Pokémon, and of course, battling each other to get stronger. Though they were all strong trainers, Aravan's diverse and well-raised team defeated both Josh's and Ace's Pokémon. The only other notable event was that Josh's Charmander evolved into Charmeleon, a much stronger and much more aggressive fiery lizard than its former self.

    For once, Josh was able to get the legend and the recent news about the Legacy Hunters off his mind. After dark, Ace and Aravan started compiling their notes into an outline, while Josh used the outline he made the day before to start writing his research paper. By eleven o'clock that night, Josh had already written three pages of his paper. At that point, he called it a night and went to sleep. That night, Josh, Ace, and Aravan all had dreams. Strange, clear, and very similar dreams.

    Each one was dreaming about being in an intense Pokémon battle with a trainer far more skilled than he. None of their battles were going well at all. It seemed that the opposing trainer's Pokémon were ready to counter everything sent at them. All of the dreams were very similar to one another, so it would be sufficient to narrate only one of them.

    (Accompanying Music: Rival Battle [Pokémon Gold/Silver])

    "Golduck! Finish Manectric off with your Ice Beam attack!" the female trainer cried. The blue, kappa-like monster immediately fired a white, freezing beam at the four-legged electric Pokémon, which was cornered on the right side of the arena. There was nowhere for Manectric to dodge. The cold beam landed its mark, and its target immediately collapsed from exhaustion.

    "Manectric, return!" Josh called out as he recalled his Pokémon back into the Ultra Ball he used to capture it. He then began muttering to himself, "Argh... All I have left is Charmeleon, and it's too weak to battle. Ah well. I have never been known to give up, and I'm not about to start now." This gave him a sense of inspiration, the spark he needed to keep fighting. "Charmeleon, let's give this a go!" he yelled as he released his final Pokémon from its ball.

    (Accompanying Music: Gym Theme [Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire])

    Much to his surprise, a massive, yellow, tigerlike Pokémon appeared in the arena. The six-foot-tall Pokémon, boasting vicious fangs eight inches long, stared down its enemy with its fear-inducing red eyes. Upon being released, it let out an ear-deafening roar that sounded like crashing thunder. Everyone in the vicinity was stunned.

    "Oh...my...god..." Josh slowly said, in absolute disbelief at what he had just witnessed. "Could someone tell me what the hell just happened here?" He then fell backwards from the utter shock of the appearence of the legendary Pokémon, Raikou. Without any command from Josh, it began generating a large ball of intense electrical charge.

    "Golduck, get away from it and try to counterattack with a Hydro Pump!" the girl suggested. Golduck began to run to the other end of the arena, but it was hopeless. With the electrical sphere surrounding it, Raikou lunged toward Golduck with such incredible speed that everyone there was in awe. The high-speed electric charging attack landed a direct hit on Golduck. Golduck never recovered from the blow for the rest of the match.

    "That is awe-inspiring power," the girl reacted. "I know that whatever I do with my remaining Pokémon, they can do nothing when pitted against something like that. I submit." With that, she surrendered the match to Josh.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    (End Gym Theme)

    After she and the spectators left the arena, Raikou walked over to Josh and slowly rubbed one of its paws against Josh's arm. This caused him to regain consciousness.

    "What just happened here...GAAAHHH!! Where did you come from?!" Josh was too scared to say anything else. Raikou turned around, then sat down on its hind legs. Josh looked back at Raikou, still too scared to say anything. The beast looked back to its left, then jerked its head up.

    "You're kidding me. Are you saying you want me to...to climb on?" Josh carefully asked.

    Raikou did not look back at Josh again; the beast simply nodded its head in approval. At that, Josh overcame some of his fear of Raikou, and climbed atop its back. The huge saber-tooth tiger then stood back up on all fours. It took Josh a few seconds to get comfortably situated atop Raikou; but afterward, he promptly let out a sigh of relief, mumbling to himself, "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

    Raikou slowly walked out of the arena, carrying a still-nervous Josh on its back. After they left the arena, the Beast of Thunder began to pick up speed and run off into the distance. Then things began to get blurry. It was time for Josh to awaken from his slumber.

    "What a strange dream that was," he said as he woke up to a beautiful Sunday morning. "I know I was...wait! Was I indeed just dreaming?" With that, he immediately got dressed and cleaned himself up. After exiting his room, he left a note for Ace and Aravan, to identify where he was in case they needed to talk with him. He hustled outside the building to an open field on campus grounds and released all of his Pokémon. "Come out, everyone!"

    (Accompanying Music: Route 101 [Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire])

    He sent out all five of his Pokémon: Charmeleon, a mean-looking fiery lizard about half the size of Josh, boasting a flaming tail; Pidgeotto, a bird of considerable size; Manectric, a four-legged animal constantly discharging electricity from its mane; Poliwhirl, a large land-based tadpole lacking a tail; and finally, Sudowoodo, a rock-hard Pokémon that always pretends to be a tree. Josh was disappointed that his battle alongside the Legend of Thunder was but a dream, a fantasy. He was tempted to simply recall his Pokémon and take the long walk of shame back to his dorm, but he didn't. Instead, he walked back to the door with his Pokémon, then went back to his room to get food not only for his Pokémon, but himself as well. After they all ate to their hearts' content, they spent the rest of the morning playing with each other.

    Ace and Aravan had had similar dreams that night. They quickly got dressed and left to talk to Josh about their dreams; they had never dreamt about anything even close to what went on last night after they fell asleep. The first place they checked was Josh's dorm. All they found was this note attached to the door: "I am on the southeast side of the campus, playing with my Pokémon. If you need to talk to me, meet me in the open field on that side. It's south of the soccer field. --Josh."

    "I thought for sure he'd be talking to the professor about our little discussion Friday night. I guess he's not the overachiever we thought he was. He's slacking off for once!" Aravan remarked.

    "'Playing with his Pokémon...'" Ace read. "I think we should go back to our rooms and get our Pokémon. It's been a while since they've been able to spend a lot of quality time together," he suggested.

    Aravan was delighted at Ace's suggestion. "That's a great idea, Ace. Let me run back to my room. Meet you where Josh is."

    "Got it," Ace responded. With that, the two of them hastily walked back to their rooms. About ten minutes later, Aravan found Josh, sitting under a tree while watching his Pokémon play. Manectric was showing off the beauty of its Spark attack.

    "Hey, Josh!" Aravan said, trying to get Josh's attention. Josh flinched, not expecting anyone to find him.

    "Aravan, you scared me! I wasn't expecting anyone to meet me out here. How are you doing today?" Josh asked Aravan.

    "Wonderful. I saw the note you posted on the outside of your door. When I noticed you said you were playing with your Pokémon, I decided to let my own Pokémon in on the fun. Let's go, everyone!" he remarked as he released his five Pokémon: Eevee, a squirrel-like Pokémon said to be capable to evolve into one of five different Pokémon; Tropius, a dinosaur-like Pokémon that can fly using the leaves on its back as wings; Houndour, a black dog with a skull on its forehead; Croconaw, a water Pokémon whose jaw muscle strength makes that of a crocodile seem like that of a baby human being; and finally, Vibrava, a Pokémon with underdeveloped wings that can be vibrated at over one hundred times per second. It is also said to possess DNA belonging to dragons.

    "Your Pokémon look good still. I'm surprised that your Croconaw hasn't evolved yet after that rough battle we had earlier this week," Josh noted.

    "Thanks, buddy. I can't wait for it to evolve. I also can't wait for my Vibrava to evolve either. Flygon is so cool!" Aravan replied.

    "How long have you had Vibrava, Aravan?" Josh asked.

    "About...twelve weeks, I guess," Aravan answered after thinking for a few seconds. "Why do you ask?"

    "If you continue to train it at the same rate at you have been, I'm thinking it's going to evolve into Flygon in a little less than a month. I think that Salamence is cooler than Flygon in the family of Dragon Pokémon, but Flygon's still awesome. Say, did you have something on your mind? You wouldn't come all the way out here just to say 'Hi.' What's up?" Josh asked.

    "I wanted to talk to you about this crazy dream I had last night, but I talked to Ace this morning, and he also had a crazy dream last night. I'm waiting for him to show up. What could be taking him so long to get here?"

    Shortly after Aravan asked, both him and Josh could hear something that sounded like a galloping horse in the distance. "What is that noise?" Aravan wondered. As the figure got closer, he identified it as Ace riding a Ponyta. The Pokémon was engulfed in red flames, but they didn't seem to bother Ace at all. "Josh, that's Ace!" Aravan noted to Josh. Josh then yelled, "Ace! Over here!" and began waving his arms. It got Ace's attention, and his Pokémon slowed to a stop, right next to Aravan and Ace.

    "That felt good!" Ace proclaimed. "It's been a while since I've done that!"

    "I didn't know you had a Ponyta, Ace. But being a lover of fire Pokémon, it befits you to have such a swift Fire-type," Josh replied.

    "Sorry I'm late, guys. But I wanted to wow all of you by making an unexpected entrance, as well as have a little fun," Ace apologized. "I guess I shouldn't let my other Pokémon be left out of the little party going on."

    "I was wondering what took you so long, Ace!" Aravan remarked as Ace released his four other Pokémon: Scyther, a five-foot-tall preying mantis with scythe-like arms; Growlithe, a fire-type, black-and-orange-striped dog; Ninjask, a flying Bug-type Pokémon with ninja-like speed; and Quilava, another fire-type with the ability to make the quills on its back flare up. All fifteen Pokémon had a merry time while their trainers began to discuss their dreams last night.

    Ace began the discussion by recalling and summarizing his dream last night. "In my dream last night, I was in a battle with you, Aravan. But your Pokémon were much, much stronger than the ones you had in our real battle Friday afternoon. My team managed to take them all down--except your final Pokémon. It was a Lapras, and it was using strange attacks."

    Aravan noted, "I don't even have a Lapras. But I want one! What kind of attacks was it using?"

    "Thunderbolt, for one."

    Josh immediately was taken aback by Ace's answer. "Thunderbolt?! What the hell have you been smoking, buddy? A powerful electric attack like Thunderbolt can cause severe, even permanent damage to a Lapras! How can it use such an attack?"

    "Beats me," Ace answered. "But anyway, that Lapras didn't even use any of its water-based attacks on my Pokémon, and it was still beatin' the crap out of 'em. Yet, I won the battle. And you will never believe how it happened. When I went to send out my last Pokémon, my Ponyta, Ponyta never emerged from the ball. The Pokémon that emerged from the Ball was...Entei."

    "Oh my god!" both of them yelled in great surprise. "I dreamt almost exactly the same thing you did...except my Pokémon was Suicune!" Aravan added.

    Ace resumed his narration. "Upon the apparence of Entei, everyone in that arena, myself and Aravan included, were in total shock. The battle resumed as normal. Lapras was powerful, but Entei was legendary. Though it could shoot water attacks and Ice Beams and Thunderbolts with amazing accuracy, Entei was so fast that none of the attacks could hit their marks, not even from close range. Entei then let loose the most powerful Flamethrower attack I had ever seen before. That attack caused Lapras to belly up a few seconds after being hit. Aravan then recalled his Lapras, and everyone left."

    "When I first heard Ace's dream, I thought it was just a weird coincidence," Josh said. "But now that I have heard the similarities between both of your dreams and my own, I realized this is no coincidence. I, too, had a similar dream last night. Ace, do you remember what happened after everyone left?"

    "No."

    "Well, I have a hunch that if I tell you about what happened after my battle, it will make you remember what happened. But let me rewind to when Raikou appeared. When I saw the beast that was my favorite Pokémon, I just collapsed from the shock of the fact. Though the enemy Golduck was strong, Raikou took it out somehow; I don't know how. When I got back up from collapsing, Raikou was standing right next to me. It then turned around, sat down on its hind legs, and told me to hop on. I was too scared to do anything else, so I climbed on, got myself situated on its back, and rode off into the distance. That's when I woke up from the dream."

    "I remember riding Suicune at the end of my dream. It was a struggle to stay on its back, but I managed to get going pretty fast," Aravan recalled.

    "Come to think of it, that's not what I remember happened to me. Entei and I walked out of the arena together, but it never let me on its back," Ace said.

    "After hearing about the criminal syndicate last night on the news...this is definitely not coincidence. I believe this series of dreams is a prophecy. Johto will come under attack, and much of the world will be at risk. If nothing is done soon, this syndicate will take over the world. Remember that legend I pieced together Friday night?" Josh asked Ace.

    "You mean all that bee-ess I had to put up with that night? Just kidding, Josh. Yes, I do remember." Ace confirmed.

    "Well, I think history is trying to repeat itself here. If I am interpreting our dreams and the recent series of events correctly, everything in the legend has been accounted for."

    "The rebel army of trainers?" Aravan asked.

    "That would be the Johto police force currently investigating these events."

    "The empire?"

    "The criminal syndicate."

    "The Beast Riders? What about them? Explain that, Josh!" Aravan refuted.

    "The three of us."

  24. #24
    Sceptilesolarbeam Guest

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    Although you might say I'm a little bit prejudiced, since I am currently involved in RaikouRider's RPG based on this, it really is pretty good, although that last part is somewhat melodramatic. Otherwise, 9/10!

  25. #25
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    At first I was skeptical about the music, but really, all of them did have an interesting effect on their corresponding parts. Again, you seem to be going about the Legendary-ness pretty well, just make sure that, when the real ones come into the story, that they don't end up just like really powerful robots...many people forget to give Legendaries personality and intention.

    ~Chibi~


    Ever wondered what would happen if humans had the power to overthrow the Legendaries? To either use them for their own ends, or eliminate them altogether? One thing is for certain...the balance between human and Legendary is unstable.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    8/30/12: CHAPTER 7: “Into the Fire” POSTED!!!
    Chapter 8 progress: 9/12 pages


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