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Thread: The Fan Boy (Rated PG)

  1. #1
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    Default The Fan Boy (Rated PG)

    Jacobii Presents: The Fanboy, a comedy rated PG

    When I first wrote this from what I can tell, people were a bit confused that Greg Sanchez was me. As a writter its great to see that people can beleive this; it lets me know that The Fanboy is a really convincing character, but then it is bad because they feel irratated by the rude character instead of laughing it this nutjob so I hope you understand inbetween the dashed lines is Greg Sanchez's notes and before and after them are my notes. Please enjoy.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    My name is Greg Sanchez, and I hope all you fools on Serebii remember my name because I will be the one who changes Pokemon forever and will be thanked with honor and you will all one day thank me when I do so. First let me say this, I am not Hispanic like most of the racist pigs in this abomination of a country we live in called America would assume. I mean, god seriously, you think the world would grow up by the time it is 2011 years old. But anyways my fellow rebels, it is time for Pokemon to finally change. For too long Pokemon has just been a little happy adventure where you defeat easy as pie gym leaders and catch the big scary legendary pokemon. Wake up Serebii! This is why all the know it all Bill Gates, Microsoft, Master Chief wanna-be’s always make fun of us because Pokemon is never taken seriously. I mean god seriously, when it’s the same stuff over and over again I get a little sick of it. The time for change is among us. Join project KumoShiri and together we will change Pokemon forever!

    For more information, join the KumoShiri group that is currently changing history on Serebii and go to www.kumoshiri.com. Please, the fait of the Pokemon world: Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova depend on you!

    A note for the mods: If you close this thread and violate my first amendment rights, I swear to god I will leave Serebii and take all the members of my group with me.

    Reply from one of the mod’s

    First of all, please refrain from using your real name on this site and instead use your selected and unique user name “The-Real-Kumo-Shiri.” Second, no one was claiming you were Hispanic and it is a honest mistake if they do so. Third, Serebii is a place to discuss Pokemon in its current state, not for spreading advertisements for your “revolutionary” new way of changing Pokemon. I am closing this thread and will ban you for a month next time you post something like this. If you want to take yourself and all two members of your club with you, that is fine. You are just making my job easier.

    New thread in Sanchez’s group

    I have tried to spread our group's message of bringing change to Pokemon. I am sure that we would have received massive support and feedback if it were not for the mods. They have closed my thread for the second time, and they are threatening to ban me, your leader, if I express our groups friendly message and exercise our freedom of speech one more time. Even worse they mocked our voice and our group. However, at the end of the thread I swore that if the thread was closed once more, I would take all my group members and we would leave the Serebii forums forever.

    Because of the events that happened in the thread, which you can see here, we must now hold our word and leave this horrible website and start our own. However, creating such a magnificent website for us requires patience and immense preparation which we cannot possibly, even with our awesomeness, establish in the short time we have on this website. This is why I am commanding all of you to join me on my youtube account KumoShiri. I will close this group and officially leave Serebii in three days at 3:00 eastern standard time. If you meet me at my youtube account let me know by posting in my channel comments "Back from Serebii." Now because my Youtube account is so popular, I may not reply to your channel comment right away. I mean I have over fifty subscribers. If I do not see your channel comment immediately, please comment again until I recognize it by posting on your channel “KumoShiri is here.” So for now, goodbye.

    Sanchez’s journal day 1

    Today was a very progressive day for project KumoShiri. I finally left the Serebii website and I can say with confidence that the future for the project is very bright. Perhaps this is just optimism but I think with my key sense of being able to intimidate and persuade other people so easily I will easily recruit new members to my cause. For this reason, from this point on I will now document all the progress made in the efforts to change Pokemon. For future Pokemon players I am now going to describe how Pokemon games were played before I intervened.

    First of all, there was this annoying thing called sleep. It was so cheap. I mean God seriously, somebody could easily just kill you by just using some stupid cheap move that completely disabled your Pokemon for two to five turns. Also all the Pokemon were for little kids, I mean God seriously, progress was made from Red and Blue to today's Black and White. I mean, would you rather use the "sooooooo scary” Charizard or the uber cool kick butt Emboar. I would also like to make a note on the strategy of Pokemon. It is very good that EV's have been introduced now I can pwn all those fools who are too lazy to use EV's, and I win all the time! However, this is not enough there is still more strategy needed in Pokemon compared to other RPG's. I will change this I will be the hero of Pokemon, and it will be uber sweet.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    A note to critics: Reviews are certainly appreciated but please take note to this before criticizing. 1.) When I typed www.kumoshiri.com it automatically made a fake link. I do not know how to remove this link and if anybody does know please tell me. 2.) The words “sooooooo” and “pwn” were placed in the fic to express Sanchez’s personality. 3.) If you find any other errors in the chapter, please tell me, but do not make that your whole review please. Thank you for reading and I hope you will continue reading and laughing when chapter 2 is released.

    YUM YUM JIMMY JOHN'S!

  2. #2
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    What happened to the other thread on this?

    Now that I see what you're going for it's a lot easier to make sense of it and enjoy it, but like Breezy said I'd work on making the character more appealing. There's a way to make his personality the way you want it to be without making him a character people just don't want to read about.

  3. #3
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    For a second I thought that this was an advertisement rant O.o
    I agree with Antithesis, Greg Sanchez seems sort of angsty , and unlikeable.
    Great start! I know Im horrible at crit of any kind

    Also, to break the link, use the [NOPARSE] tag.
    Last edited by Cassiopeia; 24th June 2011 at 3:39 AM.
    gone.

  4. #4
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    I deleted the other thread because I thought the reviews from the people who were confused by this especially my personal favorite "Reading this gives me physical pain" would turn readers off to the fic.

    Thanks for your reviews. This chapter was just to get you introduced to the so lovealbe fanboy. There will be more characters that are way more pleasent coming in chapter 2.
    Last edited by jacobii; 24th June 2011 at 3:49 AM.

    YUM YUM JIMMY JOHN'S!

  5. #5
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    The last chapter was confusing a bit. But in this chapter I’m introducing a new character that I think complements Greg and offsets his irritating personality. Thanks for reading, please review, and enjoy!
    _____________________
    Previously on the Fanboy: Greg Sanchez after feeling that he was unfairly mistreated on Serebii quit and encouraged his members to do the same. He is now working to start his own website but first he needs members with him. Now let’s see if Greg’s supporters were loyal to their “leader.”

    It appears that all the members of my group abandoned the project just before the height of its power. Using excuses such as “Um, I hope you realize you are taking this really too far.” and “Dude, I only joined this group because I thought your ideas were cool, but now you are taking it way across the line. I’m leaving this group.” However I did get one message on my you tube channel. It states “Back from Serebii, BlackCity22.”

    As I can remember BlackCity22, or as I will abbreviate him from now on City, was a ten year old who lives in my town. As the much bigger and more mature 12 year old that I am, I will take him under my wing, and we will be a great dynamic duo from this point forward. I told him to meet up with me at my house tomorrow where we will discuss our plans.

    Greg and City met at Rusty’s park the next afternoon where they sat at the bench and began to converse. City is a timid boy who is very gullible and always speaks politely.

    “Thanks for letting me come here.” Began City whose real name is Ed. “I don’t have too many friends and I was getting lonely after I beat Pokemon Black for the fifth time.”

    “Don’t worry Ed.” Said Greg. “I assure you that you are with a friend now.”

    “Well thanks a bunch Greg. Anyways, I had an idea for a real great of a Pokemon.”

    “Go on.”

    “Well he has black wings like a bat with the beak of an eagle that shoot out lasers. I call him Batter. Let me show you a picture.”

    Greg took the picture from Ed and began criticizing it.

    “What is this Ed? This is not cool at all. I mean god seriously, Zubat is more intimidating than this crayon drawn slop.”

    “Well I thought this was a Pokemon creating club. Like we would have contest for the…”

    “O my God, Ed. Just no, I can’t…. this is just… omg… okay. How can I say this politely? Ed I think one of the Justin Bieber wannabe’s at my crappy middle school can draw something scarier.”

    “Well uh… I just did this for fun.”

    “For fun!” Greg said as he ripped apart Ed’s picture. “I don’t know what they do at that little playhouse they call fifth grade, but in the big scary middle school we work hard to win and achieve success! And by the way, we aren’t having some little contest! We are doing serious work here. I mean god seriously, everybody knows that you at least have to outline these things with a sharpie brand marker, not with some black ball point pen. But anyways the reason why I asked you to draw and create a Pokemon is because we are going to send are pictures to Nintendo and Game Freak and tell them Pokemon needs to change.”

    “Oh wow. That’s a lot to deal with. So were gonna change Pokemon.”

    “Omg! Do you think I was going to put on a contest with only two people? Think for once in your life god seriously!”

    “Now here is a real Pokemon. Behold!” Greg revealed to Ed a very well drawn Pokemon that looked very similar to Darkri. It had humanoid features but the same exact head as Darkri. It had Claw like hands and a skinny body. Where a normal humans legs would be this Pokemon had black smoke. A gothic black watercolor background sat behind the creature. Now, everybody who is unfortunate enough to know Greg also knows he can barely even draw a stick figure. Ed was amazed at the picture and felt that his crayon drawn picture was poorly drawn an uncreative in comparison, but really Greg was the hypocrite because he knew nothing about drawing and just got this picture off of the art shop at Serebii.

    “Gee, Greg I guess Art class at the middle school is very hard.”

    “Yeah, you wouldn’t last a minute. But don’t worry I’ll help you.”

    “Wow! Really, thanks Greg. You’re like the older brother I never had.”

    “Don’t mention it. I’m just growing up an being an adult. Now as adults we must message Nintendo and make sure that though we are young we are not screwing around. We are going to show them that Pokemon deserves change!”

    “So uh how do we start?”

    “We start with a very stern letter. We will let them know that we are not playing around here! They will respect us!”

    Will Greg and Ed’s new alliance change Pokemon as we know it? Will the 3rd Unova region game be in 3D graphics? Or is Greg’s group against that? And will Luigi’s Mansion 2 disappoint me? Most of these questions answered on the next exciting chapter of The Fanboy!

    YUM YUM JIMMY JOHN'S!

  6. #6
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    May 2011
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    LOL
    I rofled every two lines, it was even funnier because I skiped the first paragraph the firt time I read it and I thought it was real. Good job!!! (specially the Rusty Park stuff)
    The name is SNEASEL!!!

    [IMG]http://i51.*******.com/2131a2w.png[/IMG]
    Credit to suicune lover for SC bar and shinydoug for the BC banner

        Spoiler:- Personalized Banner:

    *CREDIT TO BugPro

        Spoiler:- Gym Badge - Destiny League's Ice Leader:

    Credit to Lucario9 for this amazing badge!

  7. #7
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    Thanks for the review roloox! The third chapter should be up by tomorrow or Thursday.

    YUM YUM JIMMY JOHN'S!

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