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Thread: The Journey of Xander (G)

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    Default The Journey of Xander (G)

    Hey everyone! So this is my first fic of any kind, so I will say right from the start that it won't be as good as many of the other fics that I have read here. This story is also a little different in the fact that it is written like a journal. So instead of reading what's going on as it happens, you get kind of a concise event of the day. I am more than open to critiscism, but I have the first 3 chapters written up, so I probably won't make any major changes until those are posted. So the first three chapters will not be quite as exciting, because these are the chapters where Xander is more of a normal trainer. He doesn't rise to any sort of greatness until later. Well, without any further ado, here is the first chapter.

    This is meant to tie in with Feralnija's League of heroes. This gives a bit if backstory into the Fighting Gym Leader, Xander.

    Day 1: Today I begin my journey! I am about to head off to Twinleaf town to receive my first pokemon from Prof. Rowan. I can’t wait to get my first Pokemon! I figure it should only take me two days to reach Twinleaf town.

    Day 3: I arrived at Twinleaf today and was disappointed. Unfortunately I was too late and all three pokemon had been given away. Prof. Rowan did however give me some Poke Balls and a Pokedex so that I may catch a pokemon of my own. I think I might go to Canalave city. Hopefully I will find a Pokemon on my way there.

    Day 5: Still no luck finding a pokemon. I have arrived in Jubilife city today. I visited the Trainer school and looked up some terms and was on my way to the pokemon center to sleep. Tomorrow I will be making my way to Canalave.

    Day 7: I arrived in Canalave late last night and went straight to the pokemon center to turn in for the night. I will begin searching for my first pokemon tomorrow.

    Day 8: Today I got my first pokemon! I went to see what all of the commotion was about over at the docks. It turns out that a boat was here from the Hoenn region. The owner of the boat was having a pokemon tournament for people who did not have pokemon. First prize was a rare pokemon. I knew that this was my chance! I entered the tournament and received a Mightyena, Ninjask, and a Lairon. There were a few close shaves, but I won in the end. When I let the pokemon that I had won out of its poke ball, it was a bagon! I was told that it was a special Bagon, because it was “Shiny”. I guess that this means that it is a different color than normal, and it is very rare. Well the little guy is extremely adamant, and constantly throws itself off of things hoping to fly. We trained for a few hours and hit the hay.

    Day 9: Well Bagon and I went to train. I am going to try to find one more pokemon before I challenge Byron, the Canalave Gym Leader. I am hoping for a fire type, considering that Byron uses Steel types.

    Day 11: I caught my 2nd pokemon today! It is a Poliwag. The little girl is a lot like Bagon personality wise, and they love to train against each other. Well I will probably train for another day or so and then challenge Byron.

    Day 13: Well, I challenged the gym today and lost. I couldn’t even defeat Byron’s first pokemon, Bastiodon. I think I will travel and challenge his son Roark. After that, I plan on heading over to Hearthome to challenge Fantina and then to Solaceon to see my family again.

    Day 17: I arrived in Oreburgh city and challenged Roark. During our gym battle poliwag evolved ! I now have a Poliwhirl. To top it off I won the Coal badge! I am now feeling much more confident and will set off for Hearthome first thing tomorrow.

    Day 19: Today I just thought I would say that I battled with a very interesting trainer named Nolan. I won the battle but he said that he would keep in touch and that he would beat me next time.

    Day 20: Made it to Hearthome, but Fantina is not here. Her aide said that she was currently on a journey herself and should be back soon. Well I attended a Poffin cooking class to pass the time, and found out I am not half bad at it either. Bagon and Poliwhirl are happy that I learned how to cook some treats for them as well.

    Day 23: It has been a boring couple of days. Aside from the routine training and the routine battle here or there, not much has happened. Until today that is. I just this morning caught a Gligar! She is extremely Quiet and I actually wound up catching her by feeding her a poffin. She is, as I said before, very Quiet and reserved but does stick up for herself and is a good friend.

    Day 24: I am currently in Solaceon town! It is really nice to see my family again. They had a gift for me! It was a pokemon egg! I wonder what it will hatch in to. I will only be staying three days, because I have to get back on the road.

    Day 28: I am back on the road now. I just caught a Monferno! It is quite bashful and gets along really well with Gligar. I am really happy that I caught Monferno because I was going to choose Chimchar from Prof. Rowan’s lab. He has already proven himself very capable in battle against another trainer.

    Day 31: I just arrived in Veilstone city, the largest city in Sinnoh! I have always found it odd that one of the smallest cities in Sinnoh, Solaceon, is right next to Veilstone. Because I got in at around 5:00 I decided that I would wait to challenge the gym tomorrow. Am I ever glad I did! There was a man there who was a treasure hunter. He was giving out free items to help pokemon evolve. When I showed him my Poliwhirl he gave me a Water Stone and I evolved Poliwhirl into Poliwrath! I am now ready to take on Maylene.

    Day 32: I challenged the gym today and I won! I now have my 2nd badge and am heading to Pastoria next. The egg seems incredibly close to hatching.

    Day 33: I was right. The egg hatched today! It was a Croagunk that knows Cross Chop! It seems to be a very jolly pokemon and is a great addition to my team.

    Day35: Arrived in Pastoria today and bumped into Nolan. We battled and I won again. Then I went to the pokemon center to heal, and I was off to the gym. It was a grueling battle. It came down to Bagon and Wake’s Gyrados. In a clutch moment Bagon evolved! My new Shelgon then went on to defeat Gyrados and won me my 3rd badge. Afterwards I treated all of my pokemon to some poffins and a day of relaxation that will continue into tomorrow. After that I think I will go to Hearthome city and see if Fantina is back yet.

    Day 37: Well, we headed off for Hearthome today. It should only take me about two days to make it there. Other than that, there is nothing much going on.

    Day 39: Arrived in Hearthome today, and Fantina was at the gym! I challenged her to a battle and won again! This is my 4th badge. At this point I believe I will head back to Canalave and challenge Byron again. I have been doing some special training with Croagunk, and I believe it is nearly ready to evolve! If so he would be a great asset against Byron.

    Day 42: Croagunk evolved! I had been training with him in Jubilife and he suddenly evolved! Now I know that I am ready for the Canalave gym.

    Day 44: I can’t believe that I lost to Byron again! I am still not strong enough to beat him. I think that I might go and battle Gardenia next. It should only take me about 3-4 days to make it to Eterna city.

    Day 47: We have arrived in Eterna, and bumped into Nolan again. Turns out that Crasher Wake was visiting Gardenia, and Nolan and I bumped into them and decided to team up for a double battle. Well we lost, but I now know some of Gardenia’s moves. It was a very educational experience.

    Day 48: I received my 5th badge today, but I just barely won. It turns out that Gardenia barely showed off any of moves in our battle yesterday. She took out all, but one of my pokemon with just her Torterra! I was down to Monferno. He responded by evolving into Infernape! He wound up blazing through her team all by himself! I once again treated all of my pokemon to some poffins and hit the sack. I should probably head north to battle Candice, the Ice-type Gym Leader. Well it should take about a week to make it up there. All I can say is that I am not looking forward to the cold.

    Day 55: Wow, I just realized that I have been out on the road for over two months. I feel that I have grown a lot in these two months. So have my pokemon for that matter. I am running slightly behind schedule as I am still two days out of Snowpoint city. However I have noticed something intriguing. There seems to be a pack of Sneasel and Weavile following us. From what I can tell the leader is a shiny Weavile! I wonder why they are following us? It should be interesting to see how this develops. I would love to add that Weavile to my team.

    Day 56: It looks like I have a new team member! Turns out that pack of Weavile and Sneasel were following us because we looked like a challenge. The leader-the female shiny Weavile- wanted a challenge, and boy did she get one! I used my Toxicroak and, after taking quite a few hits, Weavile went down. I caught it, and after I let it out of its Poke Ball it seemed as if it was appointing a new leader for the pack. It is extremely calm and cool. I think that it is probably why she made a good leader. Well I now have two shiny pokemon. I think I am ready for Candice.

    Day 57: I arrived in Snowpoint today. Holy cow is it cold! I will be battling Candice tomorrow and I am doing some extra training today. During that training Shelgon evolved! I now have a Salamence and it is extremely strong. Well after the gym battle I should probably look for a Razor Fang so that I can evolve Gligar into Gliscor. My only worry is that Salamence and Gligar are really weak to Ice-types.

    Day 58: Challenged Candice today and won. Salamence unfortunately went down right away due to two blizzard attacks. Infernape was the hero again beating half of her team by himself. I think I will head to Sunnyshore city and try for my 7th badge. I think I will head out tomorrow and leave the cold. Travel times will be much shorter considering that I can fly on Salamence. Taking in rest times it should only take about a day to get to Sunnyshore.

    Day 59: Salamence provides a surprisingly smooth ride. It went well with a lunch and dinner break . I made it to Sunnyshore at about 9:00 at night, and hit the pokemon center right away because Salamence needed to rest. Tomorrow I will challenge Valkner to a battle. Hopefully I will earn my 7th badge tomorrow.

    Day 60: I won my 7th badge today! Wow it was a good fight. Salamence was the star of the fight today and defeated most of Volker’s pokemon. Well I only have one more badge to go. Hopefully 3rd time’s the charm. Oh yes I ran into the treasure hunter from Veilstone city today. I actually got his name, Nick, and he asked about my Gligar and if she had evolved yet. When I told him that it hadn’t evolved he gave me a Razor Fang and I evolved Gligar into Gliscor!

    Day 61: I finally defeated Byron! With that I have all 8 badges. It is two weeks until the Sinnoh league begins.

    Day 63: Well I arrived at the Sinnoh league today. Well should be an intense two weeks.

    So there is chapter one. Not the best in the world, but it is my first attempt.
    Last edited by Xman96; 15th May 2011 at 8:18 PM.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  2. #2
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    You have some tense issues in there, switching between past and present. It should all be past, since its a journal.
    Also, I find Xander lacking depth an emotion...
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    I thought it was interesting. I look forward to reading more.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Feralninja View Post
    You have some tense issues in there, switching between past and present. It should all be past, since its a journal.
    Also, I find Xander lacking depth an emotion...
    Hm do I? Well, thank you for pointing this out. Xander I think gets better with time, as later I add some supporting characters. This was my first attempt at writing anything, and this was my first chapter. I do thank you for your review though and will check the next chapter for tense issues before I post it.

    Small update as well. I have finished this rather short book of only 4 chapters. There will be a sequel however, where I write it in a more traditional format with an actual story going. I felt that in the begining I wanted Xander to be a simple trainer, and now he will become something more.

    I thought it was interesting. I look forward to reading more.
    Thank you this means a lot to me.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  5. #5
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    You may wish to put the prologues in bold the way I do, or cut them short the way Feralninja does.

    For your first fan fic, this was very good. It takes tons of practice to start cranking out novels like Feralninja's. But I like how you did the journal style. I think it would be great for those of us who add our takes to League of Heroes to do it in different styles than the original, to reflect who we are. Yours is a journal, mine is past tense, first person, but the original is past tense, third person. It reflects "us". Yours is the diary of your character. Mine is my character telling a story. The original League of Heroes is just the story being told by an unknown being that focuses on Cole. It's great that we're all doing this in our own styles.

    Keep it up!
    "Trainer: We would like to invite you to try your hand at a new kind of challenge. The League of Heroes is a league of world-class battlers, with its own set of leaders and elite four members. If you are interested, please mail your invitation to the location listed below with your RSVP and we will send you a map with the locations of our gyms.
    Yours truly, the Elite Four of the NCTH
    Tower of the Ancients, Unova"



    If you challenge our league and are lucky enough to get to me, you have a shot at winning the Mountain Heights Symbol. Credit to Northern Lights for the badge.

    Name- Becca
    Diamond friend code-
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    Quote Originally Posted by dracoburn View Post
    You may wish to put the prologues in bold the way I do, or cut them short the way Feralninja does.

    For your first fan fic, this was very good. It takes tons of practice to start cranking out novels like Feralninja's. But I like how you did the journal style. I think it would be great for those of us who add our takes to League of Heroes to do it in different styles than the original, to reflect who we are. Yours is a journal, mine is past tense, first person, but the original is past tense, third person. It reflects "us". Yours is the diary of your character. Mine is my character telling a story. The original League of Heroes is just the story being told by an unknown being that focuses on Cole. It's great that we're all doing this in our own styles.

    Keep it up!
    I just found the omniscient narration was easier over time, and especially in League of Heroes.
    3DS FC: 0748-3041-6462

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    Quote Originally Posted by Feralninja View Post
    I just found the omniscient narration was easier over time, and especially in League of Heroes.
    I agree with this. I decided to do this in journal style because I find that because this story doesn't have a whole lot of action in it. This is supposed to be more of how he started. The next book will include more action, and battle sequences and the like. I wanted to start with something easy to get the feeling for writing. I am glad that people are enjoying it though.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

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    Day77: The Sinnoh League started today and I won my matches. I think I did pretty well. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that my family came a week early! So they have been here this last week and will be here for the whole of the competition, which also lasts a week. I hope I do ok in my next match.

    Day 78: I won again. The last battle of the day was a real nail biter as my opponent still had three pokemon and I only had Salamence left. Luckily Salamence kept on going and we won! Well I am about to eat dinner with my family. Well, another battle tomorrow.

    Day 79: I faced a person who only used steel type pokemon, and it was tough. His pokemon just would not go down! I finally broke through his team with Infernape. I am now in the top 16. I would be happy if this is all the farther I went, but am hoping to win the competition.

    Day 80: This time I had to beat Nolan. It was tough to knock him out of the tournament, but he was a good opponent. This now puts me in the top 8. Things are going to get extremely tough from now on.

    Day 81: My time at the league here is over. I lost today against an extremely well balanced team. I don’t know where or what I am going to do now. I will probably head home for a few weeks then head out to enter another league.

    Day 88: I have been home for this last week and it is great to be home. My little sisters love to play with all of my pokemon and they love all of the attention. I think that I will stay here two weeks and then head out to the Johto region.

    Day 102: My family surprised me today with a pokemon egg! I am leaving today and will not see my family for awhile. I have also decided to leave my other pokemon with my family for the time being. I want Johto to be a fresh start. I will board a boat and be in Olivine City within two days.

    Day 104: I have just taken my first steps in the Johto region! While on the boat the egg hatched. It was a Teddiursa. I checked the attacks that it knows and it is special. It knows Night Slash. Not many Teddiursas know this attack. She seems lad back and relaxed. Should be interesting at this gym in Olivine City. The gym is a Steel type gym. I remember how much trouble I had at the Steel gym in Sinnoh. It just occurred to me that so far my first gym battles in a region have been against steel type gyms. Well I will probably train for a week catch a pokemon or two and then challenge Jasmine.

    Day 106: I just caught my first pokemon in the Johto region! It is a Staryu. It is very Impish and loves spraying Teddiursa and I with water. I still don’t think that I am ready for Jasmine so I will spend a little more time training. I think that I might actually go to Ecruteak City and challenge the Ghost gym there. Today at the pokemon center I heard that some people have seen a Skarmory around these parts. From what I can understand, it sounds like the Skarmory is very jolly and challenges pokemon out of fun. If I find it I hope to add it to my team.

    Day 108: I found and battled the Skarmory today. Unfortunately, I was unable to catch it as it flew away before I could throw the Poke Ball. I have made it about a third of the way to Ecruteak City. The city sounds extremely interesting because the city is so ancient. I am probably going to visit the Burned Tower and see what that looks like. I might even go see a dance show at the Dance Theater. Of course I will challenge Morty before I do anything else.

    Day 109: Today I caught a Geodude! It is very calm, kind of like my shiny Weavile now that I think about it, and is a great addition to our group. I am almost to Ecruteak now, and should arrive tomorrow.

    Day 110: The same Skarmory that I fought a couple of days ago came and challenged me again! Once again I could not catch it! It is starting to frustrate me and I think he knows it. Oh well, in other news I made it to Ecruteak today and decided to do some sightseeing before battling Morty. I went to the Burned Tower and caught myself a Magmar! She is very powerful, but is modest about it.

    Day 111: Heh, it is my 111th day on my journey. Wow, nearly four months on the road, and it has been great! I challenged and defeated Morty today, it wasn’t too hard. His Ghost pokemon couldn’t damage Teddiursa, but Teddiursa sure could damage the Ghost types with her Night Slash move! I think I will go to Goldenrod city next and challenge Whitney.

    Day 114: I arrived in Goldenrod and won my 2nd badge today! It was difficult though. Her Miltank was the most frustrating pokemon I think that I have ever encountered. Geodude did evolve during the match into Graveler. I think that this gym battle was a little too tough, and that I should train more. I will probably take a break from gym battles and train until my Teddiursa evolves into Ursaring. I should also probably try to find a Water Stone to evolve my Staryu and a Magmarizer for my Magmar.

    Day 124: My Teddiursa evolved today! After ten days of hard training she evolved. I have been working with my other pokemon during this time including Graveler who also evolved into Golem! It is kind of neat because I only have 2 badges currently. This should make later gyms much easier. I will spend another four days searching for a Water Stone and a Magmarizer, while also training my pokemon.

    Day 128: I found a Water Stone, but still no luck finding a Magmarizer. I have decided to go back up to Olivine City and challenge Jasmine and hopefully receive my 3rd badge. It shouldn’t take me more than 4 or 5 days.

    Day 132: Made it to Olivine today and that Skarmory was watching me the whole time we had our battle. I won luckily. Magmar was a great asset and defeated her Magnemite. Well, there isn’t much else to say, other than I am going to Cianwood next.

    Day 135: I have taken a boat to one of the Whirl Islands and I met up with this girl named Elisia. We had a battle and talked a bit. Then she saw my Magmar and said that she had a Magmarizer. She told me that she was just starting out as a trainer. She also told me that she recognized me from the Sinnoh league. She said that she would give me the Magmarizer if I would let her travel with me. I didn’t see any harm in that so I told her that it sounded like a good idea. So I now have a Magmortar, and a new friend. Right now she has a Quilava, a Seadra, and a Quagsire.

    Day 137: So Elisia is very sparky and fun-loving. I have been helping her with her pokemon techniques in between having some fun swimming in the pool on the ship. I have noticed that Skarmory is still following and watching me. I am actually starting to enjoy its company, although I still want to capture it. We should reach Cianwood in about a day. She is looking forward to her first gym battle and I am looking forward to get my 4th badge.

    Day 139: Well Elisia has just won her first badge and is ecstatic! I plan on challenging the gym tomorrow, and after that we will head out to Olivine so that Elisia can challenge the gym. Then we will head out to Ecruteak, where she may battle the gym there. After that we will head down to Goldenrod so that she can…guess what…challenge the gym. I still need the badge from Azalea town so we will probably head down there after that.

    Day 140: I won my gym battle! This is my 4th gym badge from the Johto region, and my 12th badge overall. Elisia and I will head out to Olivine city now so that she can get her 2nd badge. She says that her brother is a trainer as well and would like to travel with us. She is apparently from Olivine. I see no harm in letting her brother travel with us, so it looks like our group will grow to three.

    Day 144: Elisia challenged Jasmine and won. Her Quilava evolved against Steelix. I am very happy for her. Her brother’s name is Jax, and he seems to be very experienced. He has apparently already participated in the Kanto league, and has a god team of pokemon. His team is: Blastoise, Primeape, Sandslash, Ninetails, Crobat, and a Scizor. He wanted to battle me, but I told him that I had left the pokemon that I used in the Sinnoh league back at home. He understood, but said that he wanted a battle with me before we parted ways. I said that it sounded good to me. He apparently has all of the badges that I do in the Johto league. On an unrelated note, that Skarmory is still following me, and he even came down and battled me today. Once again he fled before I could catch him. Now that Elisia has her badge from Olivine, we will be heading out to Ecruteak.

    Day 148: I will say that to travel with two other people is very different than traveling by myself. It is nice to have other people to talk to and get to know. Elisia is still sparky, and all over the place. Jax seems to be pretty calm and collected. All of our pokemon are getting along really well. So far our teams are Xander: Ursaring, Golem, Magmortar, and Starmie. Elisia’s team is: Typhlosion, Seadra, and Quagsire. Finally Jax’s team is Blastoise, Primeape, Sandslash, Ninetails, Crobat, and a Scizor. We arrived in Ecruteak today, and tomorrow Elisia will challenge the gym.

    Day 149: Elisia lost today against Morty. She is disappointed, but is handling it well. I think that we will head down to Goldenrod so that Elisia can challenge Whitney. Jax is pretty laid back, but seems to train often. I have trained with him on a couple of occasions, and he is very competent.

    Day 153: We arrived in Goldenrod today. We challenged a couple of trainers at the pokemon center in a three-on-three battle. We won easily. I forgot to make a note of it, but Elisia caught a Pinsir in the National Park yesterday. She then went on to challenge Whitney. She won, and Jax and I are happy for her. Skarmory showed up again today. Once again Skarmory challenged me, and once again he flew away after I beat him.

    Day 156: We traveled through Azaela forest today and made it to Azaela town. We will be spending a few days here, considering that each of us need to battle Bugsy. I decided to let Elisia go first. She won thanks to her Typhlosion. Tomorrow I will battle him, then Jax will battle him the day after that.

    Day 157: I won today! Magmortar was the star of the battle. He won single handedly. This is my 5th Johto gym badge, and 17th badge overall. Tomorrow Jax will fight Bugsy. After this we will make our way up to Ecruteak, so that Elisia can challenge Morty again.

    Day 158: Jax went and won against Bugsy today. He wasn’t fazed by anything Bugsy did. The more I see Jax battle, the more I am impressed. Now that all three of us have Bugsy’s badge, we are going to set out for Ecruteak City. It should take about 11 days to get there. As odd as it is, Skarmory still follows our group at a distance.

    Day 169: We arrived in Ecruteak early this morning, and in the afternoon Elisia challenged Morty and won! It looks like her training has paid off. All three of us now have 5 badges. I think we will spend the night in Ecruteak City and then move on to Mahogany town. Skarmory is starting to become more bold and challenged me again today. I hope to capture him soon.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  9. #9
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    I've noticed that you tend to repeat yourself from time to time. Try throwing in new ways of phrasing things, such as when you describe a nature, maybe instead of saying "she seems very jolly" say "she always seems excited and happy, even if she loses". It keeps your writing from getting predictable.

    I like how fast-paced this is. You cover a lot of ground very quickly.
    "Trainer: We would like to invite you to try your hand at a new kind of challenge. The League of Heroes is a league of world-class battlers, with its own set of leaders and elite four members. If you are interested, please mail your invitation to the location listed below with your RSVP and we will send you a map with the locations of our gyms.
    Yours truly, the Elite Four of the NCTH
    Tower of the Ancients, Unova"



    If you challenge our league and are lucky enough to get to me, you have a shot at winning the Mountain Heights Symbol. Credit to Northern Lights for the badge.

    Name- Becca
    Diamond friend code-
    4554-1150-2912
    Black friend code-
    0175-5378-5095

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by dracoburn View Post
    I've noticed that you tend to repeat yourself from time to time. Try throwing in new ways of phrasing things, such as when you describe a nature, maybe instead of saying "she seems very jolly" say "she always seems excited and happy, even if she loses". It keeps your writing from getting predictable.

    I like how fast-paced this is. You cover a lot of ground very quickly.
    Yeah, that is one of my problems. Now I did right this about two months ago. I think that I will correct it in the future. I am glad that you like the pace. I tried not to mention things that would only bog down the story. That's why some days are not mentioned. Now in the last chapter it goes even faster, because things were starting to get repetitive.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  11. #11
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    Jan 2011
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    So I though that I would just post up the third chapter, of the story. This is the second to last chapter so the last one will be up tomorrow. After this then please check out the sequel to this book, "Shiny Expert:Xander." Warning, that name is very experimental, and I am open to suggestions. Without further ado, here is the next chapter.

    Day 170: We have set out for Mahogany town, and our 6th gym badge. Elisia is becoming an excellent trainer, and started taking things a bit more seriously. Now that I look back this personality change started around the time she lost to Morty. Jax is becoming an excellent friend and a great partner for training. Jax is still quiet, but not as much so as when he first joined. We are about a third of the way to Mahogany town. We should arrive in about another two days.

    Day 171: Today I just caught a shiny Heracross! I seem to have some luck finding shiny pokemon. This is my third one! He should make a great addition to my team. He is honorable in battle, but shows no mercy. There is not much else to say about today.

    Day 172: Today we arrived in Mahogany town. We visited the Lake of Rage, and had a couple of battles with some trainers. After that Skarmory appeared and challenged me. This time when I threw the poke ball he stayed! So now I have added my 6th team member! It is funny to finally catch him after all of this time. According to my journal he has been following me for 64 days! Wow! After all this time he finally joined our group. Tomorrow I will challenge Pryce with Skarmory. After that Jax will challenge Pryce, and then Elisia.

    Day 173: I finally got my 6th gym badge! Skarmory was invaluable by defeating three of Pryce’s pokemon. Tomorrow Jax will fight Pryce.

    Day 175: Jax defeated Pryce yesterday, but that was about it. However, today Elisia beat Pryce, and then Pryce gave her his Dewgong! He said that he wanted Dewgong to see the world. Elisia is very excited, although now she has four water types! I think we are going to set out for Blackthorn city to get our 7th badges. After that all that is left is Violet city’s badge.

    Day 180: Well, not much has been going on. We arrived in Blackthorn city today. I plan on challenging the gym later this afternoon. After that, both Elisia, and Jax will battle Clair tomorrow. We decided to do some practice battles before my gym battle. It was a good work out. Oh yes I forgot to mention the new addition to my team! I caught a Weavile! This one is normal, but fights very differently than my shiny one back home. He prefers to sit back and relax while out of his poke ball.

    All of my other pokemon are doing well. Ursaring is getting stronger by the day, Golem’s favorite activity is to just lie somewhere quiet, Skarmory loves to play with everyone, Starmie loves to interrupt Golem’s peaceful moments, Heracross prefers to stay by my side, and Weavile just goes with the flow. Elisia loves to bombard me with questions on battling, and my adventures in Sinnoh. Jax and Elisia seem like typical siblings, quarreling a lot. Jax is becoming more expressive by the day. I think that I can now see his true personality. He is very kind, but tough. He and I get along well, and talk often. The topic that we most talk about is our past journey. Kanto sounds like an interesting place to visit, and he says that he thinks that he might head for Sinnoh after this league is over.
    Looks like I now have 7 badges! It was a tough battle, but man did Weavile do excellent! Tomorrow both Elisia, and Jax will challenge Clair.

    Day 181: Jax and Elisia both won their battles today. I just had a sad thought. After this journey I will have to say goodbye to both of them. We probably don’t have long left. It will probably take a week to get to Violet city, and then it is a mere two weeks until the Johto league. Oh well, probably best not to dwell on sad things. We will head off tomorrow.

    Day 184: Elisia caught a Phanpy today! She found it while we were traveling through the mountains. The little girl is very playful, her favorite playmate is Skarmory.

    Day 187: Violet city is really different. It is kind of a somber place. Oh well, I challenged Falkner today and won. It was an intense battle though. I decided to use Skarmory, but Falkner had a Skarmory of his own. Mine wound up winning in the end though. Jax challenged him later that same day, and he won as well. Tomorrow Elisia will try for her 8th gym badge. I really can’t believe how much we all have changed since we first met each other.

    Day 188: Looks like we don’t have to visit anymore gyms! We all have 8 gym badges now! We are off to the Johto league! It shouldn’t take more than a week to reach it, and that means that we will have a full week to train before the league starts.

    Day 195: We made it to the Johto league. All of our families were waiting for us when Jax, Elisia, and I arrived. It is great to see everyone again! There is no time to waste. All three of us began training immediately. This is probably how it will be for the next week.

    Day 202: Today marked the start of the Johto league. All three of us won all of our respective battles. Ursaring was extremely useful in my battles, in one she defeated 3 of my opponent’s pokemon before going down. Oh well, another battle tomorrow.

    Day 203: Today the star of the battle was Golem. I went up against a team of flying and poison types, Golem taught the trainer the power of the Rock/Ground type! I am now in the top 32. Tomorrow will be a tough battle. My opponent is Elisia. I refuse to go easy on her though. Tomorrow will be very interesting. Oh yes I forgot to mention. Elisia caught the 6th member of her team, Pideot.

    Day 204: Sadly, I get to move on, but Elisia’s time at the league is over. I had to defeat her. She is accepting the loss well. She is accepting it much better than when she lost to Morty in Ecruteak. Jax won his battle today, putting us both in the top 16. Tomorrow we face each other. This will defiantly be interesting.

    Day 205: I won. I can’t believe that I won. Well I am now in the top 8. Jax finished on the top 16. He took the defeat well, and said that he was happy that he lost to me. We talked later that day, and he thanked me for being such a good friend to him and his sister. Jax and Elisia said that they would miss me when we parted ways, and with each passing day the realization that I won’t see these guys again for a while.

    Day 206: I lost today. I wound up in the top 8, just like in the Sinnoh league. Our time at the Johto league is over. Luckily I still have about 2 weeks left with Elisia and Jax, while we travel to Olivine. After that though they will go their own ways, and I will go mine.

    Day 220: Well my time in Johto has come to a close. I will miss Elisia and Jax very much. We had many good times together. I know that I will see them again someday. In the meantime I am looking forward to going back to Solaceon town, and seeing my family again. It should take 2 days to get there. So ends my journey in Johto.

    Day 222: I arrived in Solaceon town today. It sure is nice to be home. Currently I am unsure about where to go next. I might just spend a couple weeks here sorting everything out. All of my pokemon were happy to see me, but Salamence especially. We spent a couple of hours just flying around, and having some fun.

    Day 227: The rest has been nice, and it sure is great to see all of my pokemon again. The pokemon that I caught in Johto are having a lot of fun with my other pokemon. Today my family told me that they were going to move to Unova! That region has many pokemon that I have never seen before. I think that is where I will go for my next league. It will take quite awhile for everything to be finalized, so in the meantime I will travel with my pokemon, and try to hunt some shiny pokemon!

    Day 228: I set off to find some more pokemon! I am leaving with just Salamence. This should be interesting. I plan on going to some towns to find out if anyone has seen any pokemon that are shiny. I think that I will go to Iron Island first. I have wanted to go there for awhile, but I was always onto the next city. Now that my family is moving I want to see Sinnoh.

    Day 232: Today I caught a Lucario! He down played his power until we actually got into a battle, and that is where I say his true power. He is a lot like Magmortar in that way. I think Lucario could help me find shiny pokemon by looking for their aura. I don’t know, but it warrants some investigation.

    Day 239: So for this last week I have been trying to find out if a shiny pokemon’s aura is different than a regular’s. It turns out that they are different! It will still be hard to find them, but Lucario will make things easier. I think that I will look for a shiny Lucario now. It seems that Lucario knows a shiny Lucario, and it is back on Iron Island, looks like we will be heading back there.

    Day 240: I captured the shiny Lucario! It turns out that my Lucario is friends with the shiny one. The two seem to have very different fighting styles. Shiny Lucario is a very physical fighter, while Lucario is very special based. Now with these guys as my new partners I think that I will set out to find a shiny Tyranitar. Looks like I am going to Mount Silver.

    Day 260: After nearly a month of searching I found a shiny Tyranitar! He was the alpha male in the pack that he was in. His personality is nearly identical to Salamence, and they butt heads frequently. I think that this was definitely the right choice for me. I mean to go and travel, and catch some more pokemon. I have always wanted to raise a Garchomp. I think that I will go to Sinnoh, and see if I can catch one of these elusive pokemon.

    Day 265: Thanks to my Lucarios finding Gible did not take too much time. He is very calm, and likes to just sit and watch the world go by. I believe that I will head off to the island off the coast of Sinnoh and try to catch a shiny Rhyperior.

    Day 277: No luck finding that shiny Rhyperior, but I did find something else. It was a Metagross! He is very careful, and tries very hard not to get in my other pokemons ways. I have been rotating my pokemon so that I get to spend time with all of them. However, I always have Salamence, and Gabite-Gible evolved- with me. Well, better get back to hunting that shiny Rhyperior. I have seen him a couple of times, but I keep losing him in a sandstorm.

    Day 300: After 45 days of searching I finally caught shiny Rhyperior. He is very Impish, and like to play pranks on me and my pokemon. I think that I will take a break from shiny hunting to train, and spend some time with my pokemon. Wow, this is my 300th day on my journey!

    Day 323: Ok enough training. I have heard rumors that there is a shiny Milotic in Lake Valor. I think that I will spend some time fishing, and see if I can catch it.

    Day 333: Today two great things happened. One Gabite evolved into Garchomp! Second I caught a Breloom! She was digging around in make bag, made a hasty move, and fell into the water. I pulled her out, and then proceeded to catch her.

    Day 343: I caught the shiny Milotic! Wow he is beautiful. I am unsure of what to do now. I think I will train some more, and catch more pokemon.

    Day 347: Today I caught a Roserade! She is very careful, and meticulous in battle. She loves to play with my other pokemon. I sure have caught a lot of pokemon since I first started. In 28 days I will have been on the road for a year. It sure has been a good year.

    Day 350: I have been in Johto for a couple of days, and guess what I caught? I caught a Magnezone! He really seems to just kind of hang around, and nothing, as far as I can tell, bothers him. I think that I will travel with Magnezone, Salamence, and my two Lucarios for a while.

    Day 365: Today is the 1-year anniversary of when I started my journey! I am spending it at home with my family, and my pokemon. I guess that my shiny pokemon hunting has reached some interesting people. Prof. Oak has contacted me; he says that he has something that I might want to see. I will be going to Pallet town in 3 days to see him.

    Day 368: So I went to visit Prof. Oak today, and he had a shiny Charmander! He had heard from Prof. Rowan that I have been researching, and trying to find shiny pokemon. When he had seen this shiny Charmander he said that he immediately thought of me. He said that I could have him. I was very excited, and quickly thanked him. Prof. Oak said that he would keep in touch. I think that for right now Chramander would do best at home with my family. I will probably raise him in Unova. Well, I had best get home. We are leaving for Unova in a week.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  12. #12
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    It's getting even better as it progresses. Good job
    "Trainer: We would like to invite you to try your hand at a new kind of challenge. The League of Heroes is a league of world-class battlers, with its own set of leaders and elite four members. If you are interested, please mail your invitation to the location listed below with your RSVP and we will send you a map with the locations of our gyms.
    Yours truly, the Elite Four of the NCTH
    Tower of the Ancients, Unova"



    If you challenge our league and are lucky enough to get to me, you have a shot at winning the Mountain Heights Symbol. Credit to Northern Lights for the badge.

    Name- Becca
    Diamond friend code-
    4554-1150-2912
    Black friend code-
    0175-5378-5095

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by dracoburn View Post
    It's getting even better as it progresses. Good job
    Really?! Wow, thank you! I am not quite sure how the final chapter is, I think it is a bit rushed, but that is because I felt that things were getting repetitive. Today I begin on the sequel to this, and will be working on it throughout the summer. The sequel I hope will have between 30-40 chapters in it.
    Last edited by Xman96; 16th May 2011 at 2:48 PM.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  14. #14
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    Jan 2011
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    So here is the final chapter of this short story. After this I will be working on the sequel as I have mentioned before. The sequel will be written in a more traditional format as well. Here it is, the final chapter.

    Day 370: Whew, it has been a busy couple of days. Me and my pokemon have been helping my family unpack from the trip over to Unova. The Unova region has so many pokemon that I have never seen before! I am so excited to begin my journey here. I am leaving all of my pokemon with my family except for my shiny Charmander. He should be good company on the way to the Unova league. I stopped by Prof. Juniper’s lab, and she said that she had heard from the other Professors that I had a great interest in shiny pokemon, and that if she ever found one, then I would be the first to know. I thanked her and set off.

    Day 371: So today is the first day of many days I will be spending in the Unova region. It seems like a beautiful place, and I have only seen the first route! I have already battled some trainers, and all were amazed by Charmander! This little guy is not only powerful, but exceedingly rare here in the Unova region. Not to mention he is shiny. He is very quirky though and prefers to battle then go straight back into his poke ball. Never met a pokemon like that before. I do have some interesting news though, I just caught a Petilil! She is Very relaxed, and just goes with the flow. Her and Charmander get along very well. I am only about 2 days away from Striaton city. I hear that the leaders there are very powerful.

    P.S. I already am missing Salamence. We had such a good time together while I was hunting shiny pokemon. It will take a while for me to get used to not having him around…

    Day 374: I arrived in Striaton city today! I had a nice meal and met the gym leaders, Chili, Cilan, and Cress. I have decided to battle Cress because it will give my Charmander a work out, and Petilil will be able to have some fun against him. After I chatted with them for a bit, I went and grabbed a bite to eat, then battled some trainers at the Pokemon center. After that I fell asleep very quickly.

    Day 375: The first gym badge in the Unova region is mine! Cress was very powerful, and did take down my Charmander with his Panpour, but not until Charmander was able to defeat Cress’ Lillipup! Petilil then had a surprisingly hard fight against Panpur. Cress had obviously trained Panpour well, but Petilil and I made it through! I am going to go to Nacrene city next and check out the museum there, and get my 2nd badge.

    Day 376: Today I caught a Tepig! It was just laying in the sun and I captured it. Even after I let it out of the poke ball it was still sleeping! This sure seems like one lazy pokemon. I wonder how hard it will be to train him. Oh well. I think that I might actually catch more than six pokemon during the course of my Unovan journey and just rotate them. I am sure that Prof. Rowan would appreciate being able to see all of these incredible pokemon from the Unovan region! Well, I am about 2-3 days away from Nacrene city. I can’t wait to get there. I hear that Lenora is a normal type gym leader. I hope that her strategy isn’t as infuriating as Whitney’s!

    Day 380: It took a little longer to get here than I thought it would, but that is because I have decided that I am going to go slow with this journey and really enjoy my surroundings. For example we found this beautiful pond and just spent the day there swimming. Oddly enough, Charmander loves to swim! It is hysterical to watch him swim while he holds his tail up above the water! We arrived today, and went to visit the museum. They were showing off a couple of ancient pokemon. The two that they had out were an Archen, and a Tirtouga. They sure were interesting, and I really like the Tirtouga. I picked up a few souvenirs that weighed a lot more than I thought they did, my pack was really heavy. When I got to the pokemon center I plopped it down on the floor and went to bed.

    Day 381: There was a reason that my bag was so heavy. There was a Tirtouga in it! Turns out he crawled into my bag when I wasn’t looking. I immediately brought him back to the museum and apologized. Then Lenora came in and said that I could keep the Tirtouga if he wanted to be with me that much. I thanked her for her kindness, and asked for a battle. She said that she could not do it today, but that tomorrow she was free. This gives me the chance to train with my new Tirtouga. I think that I might also catch a Timburr.

    Day 382: Today I trained my pokemon, and caught a Timburr! He has a mild and easy going nature. I also noticed an odd blue and white pokemon hanging around. I tried to approach it but it flew away before I could identify it. I am kind of disappointed that I missed the chance to capture it, but I suppose that it can’t be helped. During my gym battle Timburr evolved! I was just as shocked as Lenora was, and Gurdurr proceeded to defeat her team. I plan on going to Castelia city next. If I thought that Veilstone or Goldenrod were big cities, than I think that I will be shocked by the size of this city.

    Day 384: I have begun some intensive training in Castelia city. It says that by the end of two weeks each of my pokemon will have evolved. I think that I will do this to get better acquainted with all of my pokemon. So hopefully by the end of the two weeks I will have a Pignite, Conkeldurr, Carracosta, Lilligant, and Charmeleon. This should be a fun two weeks.

    Day 389: So today I caught a Mienfoo. It was apparently abandoned by some heartless trainer. It is a very lonely pokemon, but I hope to change that. I think that she is close to evolving so I will have her join in the training.

    It also turns out that the training program that I am signed up in works the trainer as well as the pokemon! I can’t remember the last time I worked out this hard! Oddly enough it is enhancing the bond between my pokemon and me. When we work out together and cheer each other on, we have to believe in each other.

    398: Over the last week all of my pokemon have evolved! My team now consists of: Charmeleon, Lilligant, Carracosta, Conkeldurr, Pignite, and finally Mienshao. I have really bonded with all of my pokemon and I feel better prepared to face the third gym leader.

    399: Well I lost today… Even after all of the training I did I still lost. He was good, and his Leavany was incredibly fast. He used a strategy that involved intensifying the sun and increased his Pokemon’s speed and power. I think that if I can possibly take advantage of this I will win.

    400: I have now been on the road for 400 days. I can’t believe it. I won my third gym badge today, and I got a new friend! After the battle Burgh asked if I would take his Leavany with me. When I inquired why, his response was that he wanted her to see the world. He had heard a bit about my placement in the Johto, and Sinnoh leagues, and thought that it would be good for Leavany. I readily agreed and she has been accepted as a member of the group. She is very hasty and has jumped at some poffins that I was cooking and ate them before they were totally set. I doubt that she will do that again!

    Day 403: Currently I am still in Castelia city. There is a lot to do here, and I am unsure of when I will be back, so I figured that I might as well enjoy the scenery. I have decided to go to Nimbasa city and challenge the gym leader Elesa. I think that I will leave tomorrow. I to cross a desert and I might look for some pokemon on my way.

    Day 405: I am about fed up with this retarded sandstorm! I have to keep goggles over my eyes, my tent stakes keep coming out of the sand I wish that it would do something other than sandstorm!

    Hmm…my wish came true…now there seems to be a typhoon going through the desert! This really isn’t much better than the sandstorm. I still can’t pitch my tent, and when I can I can’t sleep because of the rain. I did catch a glimpse of that blue and white pokemon again, though as before I couldn’t ID it. I will just be happy when I get out of this desert.

    Day 406: A wild Darumakka took shelter with us today. I caught him, and stayed in the tent because the storm is getting worse. I really hate having to sit still all day. Oh well. The Darumakka is a bit if a smart butt and constantly gives me a hard time. I have never had a pokemon with this kind of personality so this should be interesting.

    Day 408: I made it to Nimbasa city! I am just happy to leave that desert. I did some research on that pokemon that I saw, and my best guess is that it is the legendary pokemon Thunderus. I will have to investigate more later however, as I was interrupted by Elsa. She said that she needed my help with something. It turns out that she was teaching a class on the strategies of pokemon, and she needed someone to battle against. Elesa said that this would count as my gym battle. I agreed, and won. She was pretty shocked by this, and awarded me the gym badge. The kids then were allowed to ask questions and most of them were directed at my shiny Charizard, Charmeleon evolved during the battle. I will probably head out to Driftveil city next. I will probably challenge Clay while I am there.

    Day 410: On my way to Driftveil city I encountered Thunderus again. This time he actually showed himself to me. He looked at me for a minute, and then left. What an odd pokemon. Anyway, I met a trainer named Raj today. He seems like a nice enough guy, if a bit serious. He has an Accelgor that is often with him. We visited for a few hours about goals, pokemon, and the like. We decided to keep in touch and exchanged Xtranciever numbers. We had a battle and he soundly beat me, but I will beat me next time. I have contacted Clay and our match is scheduled for tomorrow.

    Day 411: I won my 5th badge today. Clay was not too hard to defeat with my Lilligant. I plan on going on a catching spree in Chargestone cave. I think that I will pick up a Ferroseed, Drillbur, Eelecktrik, and Karrablast. After that I have the Mistralton gym to challenge.

    Day 414: After searching for a few days I found all of the pokemon that I wanted. Rotating is a very different experience for me. So I now have to work my way through Chargestone cave, I will update later with how it went.
    I finally made it through that cave. I really dislike that cave. I plan on going to the pokemon center and then tomorrow I am going to go to Heaven’s Tower to catch a Lampent. Things have been going well. I met Skyla today, and she seems like she could become a good friend.

    Day 416: It took me a while to find a Lampent, but I stuck with it and found one! She should make a great addition to my team. I also lost to Skyla today, but will try again tomorrow. All of my pokemon are doing well, and a few of them evolved.

    Day 417: Today I received my 6th gym badge. I am about to leave for Twist Mountain, and go to Iccuris city.

    Day 440: Wow, I can’t believe that it has been so long since I wrote in this journal. I lost it the day before I left for Twist Mountain. Skyla actually returned it to me when I arrived at the Pokemon League. Since then I have caught the following pokemon and evolved the others: Scrafty and Cryogonal. Both of them have become great friends to all of my other pokemon. I have received my last two gym badges, and have arrived at the pokemon league. I am not too sure what I plan to do after this league, perhaps I will continue to research shiny pokemon. I think that that would work well. There will be time to worry about that later however, right now I need to focus on the task at hand.

    Day 447: Today was the opening of the Unovan League! I won my first three matches, and am about to grab a bite to eat. After that I will give my pokemon a nice rest in preparation for tomorrow.

    Day 500: Today I made it into the top 16! I plan on winning this league so I still have 4 battles to go. All of my pokemon are doing great, Charizard especially.

    Day 501: Top 8! This means that I have made top 8 in all of the leagues that I have participated in. This time though, I will win it!

    Day 502: I lost…this is really hard. I feel as if I haven’t improved at all since the Sinnoh league. After the battle, the trainer said that my Ursaring was incredible in the fight. He proposed a trade, my Ursaring for his Hydreigon. After consulting with Ursaring, I decided that it would be good for Ursaring to travel with someone else for now. It was a very difficult good bye for both of us. She has been with me since I first set foot in Johto. I will miss her greatly.

    Day 503: I have absolutely no idea what to do now. I don’t have it in me to challenge another league to only come in 8th again. No more leagues for me for awhile. This is my last entry in this journal…
    Last edited by Xman96; 20th May 2011 at 4:38 PM.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

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