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Thread: Shiny Expert:Xander

  1. #26

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    Right I've finally read it all. Never thought I'd see myself using violence anytime soon. And darn it your Gorebyss brings back painful memories of that battle we had yesterday haha.

    I. LOVE. JERRY. He's a legendary in his own right, next time I catch a Bibarel I'm calling it Jerry straightaway. But seriously a review:

    Few minor grammar issues but they're getting better. Switching between tenses has become a thing of the past, you're learning well. Just try not to make the action move so fast unless that's your style. It's okay to drag it out over a few chapters. Other than that you're getting better!

  2. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Displeased Owl View Post
    Right I've finally read it all. Never thought I'd see myself using violence anytime soon. And darn it your Gorebyss brings back painful memories of that battle we had yesterday haha.

    I. LOVE. JERRY. He's a legendary in his own right, next time I catch a Bibarel I'm calling it Jerry straightaway. But seriously a review:

    Few minor grammar issues but they're getting better. Switching between tenses has become a thing of the past, you're learning well. Just try not to make the action move so fast unless that's your style. It's okay to drag it out over a few chapters. Other than that you're getting better!
    Thanks for the review. I love Jerry too, and he will return later. To be honest, I think that the pace is just how I write. On the whole Raj violence thing, he was more defending himself than anything. Sadly, I couldn't get the chapter finished tonite because of open houses and stuff. It will be up tomorrow though...maybe. I really hope that the pace isn't off putting or anything.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  3. #28
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    Sorry that this took so long to get up. Things have been busy.

    Chapter 7: We are Reporting a Massive Blizzard Above Mount Coronet

    *Man, it sure is cold here,* Xander thought as he and Raj got closer to Snowpoint city. They’d been traveling for about 3 hours now, it would have been faster, but their pokemon needed to rest multiple times because of the cold. They also had to stop and buy some winter weather gear. After an hour of ridding their pokemon they were kinda cold. *We probably should have grabbed some gear before we left. I blame Jerry for that though, I can’t believe that he was able to pass as a cop for, what did Rowan say, four years? Yeah, that sounds right. Someone should really train those cops better.* Xander was snapped out of his thoughts as a gale knocked him off his Dragonite. “AHHHHHHHHHHH,” he screamed as he began falling.

    “Drag!” She called as she dived after Xander.

    “AHHHHHH-Humf,” Was the sound Xander made when he hit the snow. “Uhh, what the heck?”

    While that is going on, Raj is still in the air, unable to see what happened as a freak blizzard falls upon him. *Boy, this blizzard came out of nowhere! I hope Xander is keeping warm back there.*

    ***On a Plateau of Mount Coronet***

    Xander hit the freshly fallen snow hard. Luckily the snow broke his fall. Unfortunately, the trade off was that Xander was buried up to his waist in snow. Xander wiggled and wretched to try to get his waist free, but to no avail. “Of course, my poke balls would be buried by the snow, that’s just my luck,” He looked around him as snow began piling up around him from the blizzard, “And now there’s a possibility of being buried alive, great.” He continued working for the next half hour, there was no sign of the blizzard letting up, and his hands went numb. “Gal, darn it! I gotta get out here!”

    As he said that he heard the call of his Dragonite, “Draaaaaaag, Dragonite!”

    “Dragonite! I’m down here!” He called out multiple times, but Dragonite couldn’t hear him over the howling blizzard.

    Xander looked at what he was wearing, “It was a good thing we stopped to buy these clothes. I probably should have bought a different color than white though.”

    ***Prof. Rowan’s Lab***

    “Flight is not advised over Mount Coronet currently,” The news reporter spoke, his voice sounding extremely disinterested.

    Prof. Rowan turned up the volume, “Uh oh.”

    “There is currently a blizzard across all of Mount Coronet, due to the yearly Abomasnow gathering. Once per year these pokemon gather into their 15 tribes, and see which one is the strongest. The victor is not chosen based on battling strength, but instead by which tribe creates the biggest blizzard. Abomasnow have the ability to create blizzards at will, so all of the males of a tribe will gather together, and attempt to create a massive blizzard. It takes 15 days, one day per tribe, for this ceremony to run its course. This is the seventh day of this, and it’s the biggest blizzard ever recorded, spanning the entirety of Mount Coronet.”

    Rowan turned down volume, “I sure hope that they made it before that blizzard kicked in.” Rowan looked worried, “Perhaps Latias and I should go looking for them, what do you think, Growlithe?” He reached down to pet the pokemon that was lying next to him.

    “Growww,” It said drowsily, before falling asleep on the couch they were both located on.

    “Alright, I’ll go get Latias,” He got up from the couch, Growlithe didn’t even notice, and walked outside. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, and just the slightest breeze. It was hard to imagine that just a little ways away, there was a massive blizzard going on. “Latias!” He called, “Latias, come on, I need your help.” He waited for a few minutes, and then went looking for her. He called for her as he went through his habitats, but didn’t find her. “Where did she go?”

    ***Somewhere Above Mount Coronet***

    *Brrr, it’s cold up here. Where in Sinnoh did this blizzard come from?* Latias thought this as she was flying through the blinding blizzard. Latias had fallen behind about fifteen minutes ago, when she had to land due to the blizzard freezing her wings. *Hmm, I can still sense Raj in the air, and his Hydreigon, but where’s Xander and Dragonite?* As she flew, the bitterly cold and plentiful ice shards pelted her face, and eyes, but she kept going. She flew low, searching for Xander’s thought patterns, but couldn’t find them. After twenty minutes of searching, she still had no idea where he, or Dragonite, was.

    ***Somewhere Else Above Mount Coronet***

    “It’s been awhile since we’ve seen any sign of Xander or Dragonite, Mr. Socky,” The Hydreigon nodded its three heads. “Let’s stop for a sec and see if they pass us,” At its trainers suggestion, Hydreigon stopped. Because of the near-gale force winds, it was hard for him to remain aloft when he wasn’t moving, but he tried his best. Five minutes passed and Xander and Dragonite hadn’t shown up yet. “Something went wrong,” Raj spoke somberly, “Mr. Socky we have to go back!” The Hydreigon shook its three heads, and sped forwards. “Socky, no, we have to find Xander!” But Hydreigon wouldn’t listen.

    *I’m sorry Raj, but I don’t know how much longer either of us can survive in this blizzard,* Mr. Socky thought sadly, *I hope you’ll forgive me…*

    *** Somewhere on Mount Coronet***

    Xander had been digging for the last 20 minutes, his hands had gone numb five minutes in. “I think…I…almost,” He said excitedly as he pushed away the last bit of snow that covered his poke balls, “Got it!” He shouted excitedly. He grabbed one of the poke balls off of his belt and looked at it in dismay, “It’s frozen.” He was right. The ball was covered in an inch of ice, all the way around. Xander wasn’t sure what to do now, he couldn’t dig anymore, because he knew that there was a strong possibility of nerve damage if he continued. “Dragonite! Where are you?” He yelled.

    ***Somewhere Above Mount Coronet, Near Xander’s Location***

    *I can’t believe I dropped Xander!* Dragonite thought in dismay. *After he saved me form Arceus knows what, the least I could do is keep him in the air!* Dragonite was flying though the blizzard, tirelessly searching for Xander, but she herself had gotten hopelessly lost. She had spent twenty minutes looking for Xander, and her wings were beginning to accumulate a layer of ice. She kept flying though, and only landed to break the ice off of her wings. As she did so, they bled quite a bit, and eventually, she had to find cover in a cave.

    Once inside the cave, Dragonite found some large sticks late she broke the ice off of with her Stone Edge attack. After that, she dried them out by beating her wings, to create her Hurrican attack. To finish her work, she lit the sticks into a heat source, by striking them with a Thunderbolt. “Good, and it only took me an ten minutes to do that,” She said to herself as she warmed up by the heat source. “I’ll spend ten minutes warming up, and then I have to get back…out……to………find……………….zzzzzz” She fell asleep.

    ***Somewhere Above Mount Coronet Near Xander’s Location***

    *He’s close, I can sense him, but he’s fading fast!* Latias rushed on towards Xander’s location.* She had picked up his thoughts a few minutes ago, and they were faint at best. *He must be freezing, and if I don’t get there soon…* Latias couldn’t finish that thought. She had only known Xander a few weeks, but she had already made up her mind. After this business with Team Snagem was over, she was going to go with Xander on his travels. She was sick of not leaving their forest in Hoenn, where her brother, Latios, had sequestered them. Heck, she hadn’t even met a human until she was captured. She thought that all humans were like that, until she met Rowan and Xander. Those two showed her what many humans were, kind, loving, and compassionate.
    He was close now. Very close. She went slower now, and meticulously, searched her surroundings. Xander’s thoughts were growing fainter by the second. His thoughts were focused on his family now, and how he wished he could see them one more time. She would make sure that he would see them again. “There he is!” She shouted as she saw Xander buried in the snow. He wasn’t conscious and was slumped at a weird angle. Latias dove down, and nuzzled Xander awake.

    “Uhh…Latias? What are you doing here? I told you to stay at Rowan’s,” He just barely muttered.

    Latias rolled her eyes, *If I had stayed behind, you would be dead now. Let’s get you out of here,* as she thought that, she used Psychic to lift the snow away from Xander, and to lift him onto her back. She grabbed his arms with her hands, and held on tight.

    Xander was just barely conscious, “Wait, we can’t leave Dragonite!”

    Latias extended her Psychic abilities, and she found Dragonites thoughts, she was thinking about food of all things. “She’s fine Xander. I think she’s in some sort cave, and has a fire going. We’ll come back for her later.”

    Latias sped towards the nearest area with the most thought activity. It turns out that she was in a town that was full of flowers. *It sure is pretty here…* Latias thought as she flew over the Floraroma Town. *At least, I assume it would, if it weren’t for all this hail.* The storm had extended beyond Mount Coronet, and now all of the flowers that Floraroma was famous for, were being killed under the force of the hail. *What in the world could be causing this storm?!* She wondered to herself.

    Latias searched for a building that looked like what the humans called a “Hospital”. She looked for something that had a giant “H” somewhere on the building. After looking for ten minutes, she found what she was looking for.

    When she flew through the doors she got the strangest looks form people in the waiting room. She heard thoughts of, “What the heck is that?”, “Is that a Latias?”, and “That kid looks ill.” *At least some of these people aren’t shocked at my appearance, and are actually worried about the lethargic young man that I’m carrying.* Latias calmly floated up to one of the receptionists, and laid Xander out on the desk.

    The receptionist was shocked, at the sight that lay before her; a young man that was obviously in hypothermic shock, and a golden Latias that just lied him in from of her. She pressed a button on the intercom, “Uhh…Dr. Uriah, I think you should see this.”
    The doors at the back of the room opened, and a short, grey haired man in what must be his sixties, came in. “Sarah, what is it that I had to rush out here to see? We are very busy and…” Uriah stopped mid sentence as he saw Xander on the desk, and the Latias next to him. He walked up to Xander and looked him over, and checked his pupils and his pulse. Uriah’s face was grave after he felt Xander’s pulse, “Sarah, get every available doctor to the ICU. If we don’t do something with this guy fast, he won’t make it through the night…”

    Another cliff hangar. I know my chapters are shorter than everyone elses, but it seems to work for me. Tell me your thoughts on that subject.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  4. #29

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    Another good chapter, your vocabulary is getting better. You've clearly listened to Feral's advice about finding new ways to say stuff. However I say you still gotta get to grips with making stuff flow more. Short chapters work fine especially if they flow well. Other than that nice one

  5. #30
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    Sorry for the long wait everyone! Things have been really busy right now, but I finally sat down and wrote out chapter eight!

    Chapter 8: Where’s Xander?

    “What do you mean he’s not here?” A young woman was talking to Prof. Rowan.

    Rowan and the girl were sitting in his kitchen, “Rui, I am sorry that he’s not here, but Xander went to Snowpoint City to help combat Team Snagem.

    “I wish he would have told me and Wes that he was going to do this. We could’ve helped.”

    “Speaking of Wes, where is he?”

    Rui looked around, “Uh, I’m not sure. Where did he go?” She got up and went out the door and called out, “Wes, where are you?”

    “I’m over here,” A young man’s voice was heard from the forested area. Rui and Rowan walked in that direction.

    Wes was seen petting an Arcanine. The Arcanine its self looked like the picture of bliss being petted by Wes, and looked confused when Wes stopped scratching its belly, “Haha, I’ll come back later Arcanine, I promise.” Arcanine looked happy at that prospect and trotted off. Wes stood up and looked Rowan, “It’s good to meet you sir, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

    “The feeling is mutual Wes. I have heard quite a lot about you as well.” Wes looked slightly embarrassed at the complement.

    “Thank you Professor, but Rui, I thought we came here to make sure Xander was okay?” Wes inquired.

    “Well dear, there’s the problem; Xander isn’t here.”

    “Well, then where did he go? Do you know Professor?”

    Prof. Rowan looked somber, “Yes, I do, but I have not heard from him in quite awhile.”

    Wes raised an eyebrow, “How long is ‘awhile’?”

    Rowan thought for a moment, “I suppose it has been maybe, three, four hours.”

    Wes and Rui both looked surprise, and it was Rui that spoke first, “That doesn’t sound like a long time, especially for Xander.”

    “Normally it wouldn't be cause for alarm, but they have gone to Snowpoint city to chase a lead on Team Snagem.”

    Wes spoke up, “He went after Snagem alone!?”

    “Do not be ridiculous, he has back up in the form of Raj.”

    Rui looked shocked, “The champion of the Unova region?!”

    Rowan smiled, “Yes, that’s him. He and Xander go back a ways, and I brought him out here to lift Xander’s spirits.”

    Rui looked confused, “Why did Xander need his spirits lifted? He didn’t seem depressed when I talked to him a few weeks ago.”

    Rowan smiled sadly, “He was able to hide it pretty well, but I know him. Raj noticed it right away as well.”

    “Is he okay now?” Rui looked worried.

    “Do not worry my dear, he’s fine now. Raj got through to him after Xander’s Salamence was taken by Snagem, long story there, but we do not have time for it. I need to find out if Xander’s okay.”

    Wes spoke up, “Why can’t you just call Raj or Xander on their Xtrancievers? I assume that two elite trainers like themselves would each have one.”

    “Normally I would, but there is a massive blizzard around Mount Coronet right now, and it is blocking any transmissions.”

    Wes looked worried, “Is there any reason why Xander got caught up with Team Snagem? I thought that they had totally disbanded.”

    “All I can say is that they have been stealing shiny pokemon. I wish I could tell you more, but what Snagem is after needs to be kept a secret.”

    “Rowan, I don’t like secrets.”

    “Neither do I Wes, and that is why you must trust me that it is important.”

    “Alright Professor, I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

    Rui looked indignant, “And what about me?”

    “I think you should stay here honey,” Wes said in a coaxing tone.”

    Rui had a cross look on her face, “Nice try, but I’m coming with you.”

    Wes put on a mock dejected look, “Alright you win. So what am I supposed to do with
    this?” Wes asked as he pulled out a small mechanical looking glove.

    Rui gave an odd look, “Uh, dear, what is that?”

    Wes gave a cocky smile, “Something that I’ve been working on for awhile. I’ve been worried that Team Snagem, or some other organization would attempt to take over the world, so I took the tech from the old Snag Machine, and miniaturized it.”

    Rui looked horrified, “Wes, I thought you destroyed that horrible machine!”

    Rowan looked hard at Wes, “I know what you are trying to do, but I have to agree with Rui. That machine is too powerful for anyone to have.”

    Wes looked abashed, “I’ve used this before to save Orre, and I think we can use it again to stop Snagem.”

    “I will be honest with you, I do not think this is a good idea, but I will trust your judgment.”

    Rui had a long face, “I don’t like this at all.”

    Wes was honest, “I know you don’t Rui, that’s why I didn’t tell you.”

    “I should be able to trust you Wes. I don’t like that you went behind my back like this.”

    Wes gave her a small kiss, “I’ll make it up to you later, right now, your cousin is in trouble, and needs our help.”

    Rowan cleared his throat, “Yes, well, if you two are done, we should probably go to Snowpoint City.”

    Wes turned his head away from his wife, “You’re right Professor, we should go.”

    Rowan cocked his eyebrow, “If you think you are going to leave me behind, you’ve got another thing coming.”

    Wes looked confused, “Professor, you’re coming with us?”

    “Yes, I am. I may not look it now, but I was a pokemon trainer when I was young, and I have not let myself go either when it comes to battling.”

    Wes simply shrugged and said, “Okay, we could use all the help we can get.”

    Rowan nodded, “No offense Wes, but it would not have mattered what you said, Xander’s like a son to me, and nothing is going happen to him on my watch.”

    Wes nodded, “Fair enough, let’s go,” he let out his Skarmory. *Wow, it seems like it’s been a life time since I snagged Skarmory from Gonzap, looks like I might have some more snagging to do.* Wes gave a sideways look at Prof. Rowan, “Need me to lend ya a pokemon?”

    Rowan just smiled at the jest, “No, I think I have this covered,” slyly he took out a poke ball and out came a Hydreigon.

    Wes had a blank look on his face, “Uh, k, looks like you’re covered.” Wes jumped onto Skarmory’s back and flew off.

    Rowan laughed after Wes was out of ear shot, “Your husband is a nice guy Rui, but he has got a lot to learn when it comes to old pros.”

    Rui was apologetic, “I’m sorry for my husband, he can be a bit cocky.”

    Rowan gave her a knowing smile, “It is nothing to be sorry about, in fact, he reminds me of myself when I was his age. Well, how about we get going?”

    Rui gave a smile that stretched from ear to ear, “Sure, let’s go!”

    ***Snowpoint City***

    Raj was huddled in a blanket, in the pokemon center of Snowpoint city. The nurse came over and gave Raj a cup of hot cocoa, “This should warm you up Raj. What exactly happened?”

    Raj shakily grabbed the cup of warm liquid, “I-I simply got c-c-caught in that m-massive blizzard.” He took a sip of the cocoa and was able to calm his shaking after a moment.

    “Why were you travelling in that storm in the first place?”

    Raj took a deep breath and calmed himself, “We didn’t mean to be there at all. A friend and I were travelling up here to investigate that Salamence that attacked a few weeks back. We got caught in that blizzard, and my friend…well…fell off of his pokemon. I was about to freeze to death, and my Hydreigon, Mr. Socky, pulled me outta there before I froze to death.”

    Nurse Joy looked somber, “I hate to tell you this, but if your friend was stuck out in that blizzard for three hours…he’s dead.”

    Raj felt like he had been hit by a brick wall, “Three hours?! What are you talking about?”

    “You showed up unconscious and showed signs of hypothermia.”

    “I know that I just woke up, but three hours?”

    “I know it’s hard to believe, but, yes.”

    Raj got up quickly, “I need to go find my-ahh, “he gasped as he fell. He had a sharp pain all over, and had trouble getting back on his feet. The nurse had to help him up.

    “You need to rest. I can send out a search party for your friend if that would make you feel better.”

    Raj just nodded his head dejectedly and went to lie down on the couch.

    ***Outside of Snowpoint City***

    About one kilometer outside of Snowpoint, hidden in the forest, was Team Snagem’s
    base. The base was nothing more than a few haphazardly shelters set up. All of them looked inadequate to stand up against the bitter cold, and winds of the northern part of Sinnoh. In the middle of camp, there was a small gathering area that was currently occupied by only two people: Trudly and Folly. Neither of them had any sort of gear to protect them against the weather.

    “W-w-we p-p-probably should’ve g-g-grabbed some g-g-g-gear before we l-l-left,” Folly stuttered.

    “N-no ki-kidding,” Trudly stammered in response.

    Gonzap came out of his tent, which was completely heated and wind resistant, with no coat on, and his abs displayed out in the cold, although he seemed to be oblivious to the weather. “What are you two doin out here?”

    Trudly looked confused, “We were told to wait out here until our tent was ready.”

    Gonzap cocked one of his impressive eyebrows, “Uh, your guys’ tent are right over there,” He pointed at a tent that was twenty feet away, and had a group of guys bent over in laughter.

    “Hey Trudly, whadda think those guys are laughing at?”

    Trudly looked angry, “They’re laughing at us you idiot!” Trudly smacked Folly alongside the head.

    “Ow! That hurt!” Folly rubbed his head, “Why would they be laughing at us anyway?”

    Trudly almost strangled Folly, “Because we’ve been sitting out here in the cold for the last three hours!”

    Gonzap shook his head, “Why did I bring you two with me again?”

    Folly looked up, “Cause we asked to?”

    “You idiots I should throw your-“

    “Gonzap, we have an intruder!” a guard came running up and interrupted Gonzap.

    “What!? How did he get past our guards?”

    “We aren’t sure, but he must be an elite trainer!”

    “Why do ya say that?”

    “Our guards had three Dragonites, and they’re all knocked out.”

    “It must be Xander or Raj, I’ll take care of this,” Gonzap walked towards the gate, but the culprit was already on his way. Gonzap was confused, this wasn’t Xander, “Who are you, and why did you attack my guards?”

    “Well, my name’s Jerry, and were those your guards? Sorry about that, but I had heard that you guys were Team Snagem and that you guys had cool uniforms. I’ve always like uniforms, that’s why I joined the police force, but that idiot Xander got me discharged. So can I join you guys.”

    Gonzap was confused, *I just got this guys life story, and he wants to join us? Plus he was a cop, and he doesn’t sound very bright. Oh well, this might be worth a laugh.* “Alright Jerry, tell ya what, if you can beat me in a one on one pokemon battle, your in.”

    Jerry beamed, “Do I get the uniform?!”

    “Uh, yeah, yeah you get the uniform, “*What’s with this guy and his obsession with uniforms?*

    “YES!” Jerry shouted, “Alright, let’s do this. Go Bidoof!” Jerry’s Bidoof materialized out of the poke ball.

    “Biidoooof,” it growled cutely.

    The crowd that gathered up roared in laughter, and Gonzap nearly fell over laughing, “Why in the world would you use a Bidoof? What happened to the pokemon that you used to get past the guards?”

    Jerry was confused at Gonzap’s question, “This is the pokemon that I used to get past your guards.”

    Gonzap was horrified, “Uh, okay. Let’s see if your Bidoof can beat this!” He threw out a Masterball, and out came a teal colored Latios.

    “Tios,” it said in a monotonous voice.

    “Alright Jerry, you can make the first move,” Gonzap had to stifle some laughter at the thought of Latios stomping all over this Bidoof.

    “Okay, let’s do this Bidoof! Use Super Fang!”

    “Bii,” he nodded and blitzed forward at blinding speeds. It was so fast that Latios couldn’t react, and was struck hard on the head.

    Gonzap’s eyebrows fell from their majestic spot on his head, and he quickly propped them back up, “Latios, recover from that, and finish this annoying rat with Thunderbolt!’

    “La,” Latios sent out a wicked lightning bolt from in between his hands.

    Jerry smiled, “Bidoof, dodge and use, Ice Beam!”

    Bidoof deftly dodged all of Latios’ Thunderbolt attacks, and left up onto Latios’ face. Latios tried to shake Bidoof off, but failed to do anything before Bidoof got off an Ice Beam attack. Bidoof quickly leapt from Latios’ face, and onto the ground. Where Latios was hit, ice began to form outward, and quickly encased him into an ice cube.

    Gonzap’s mouth was wide open, “Latios, break outta the ice!”

    Jerry was jumping up and down, “Yes! Now finish it with Superpower!”

    “Biiiiiiiiiiiiii,” Bidoof yelled as its body began glowing a brilliant white, “DOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFF.” Bidoof lifted the ice block off the ground, and hurled it 300 feet into the air. After a few moments the ice came crashing down and Latios was unconscious.

    Jerry was jumping with joy, “Yeah! Go Bidoof! Now I get my uniform!”

    Jerry's back with a vengance!
    Last edited by Xman96; 14th June 2011 at 12:41 AM.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  6. #31
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    Not a bad chapter overall. I must say, that is one sassy bidoof.
    However, one minor gripe. You have professor rowan talking in contractions and slang. I sort of cringed when I saw that. It's all well and good to have young characters like Xander and Raj talk like that but when it comes to Rowan... I wouldn't.
    The development he got through the games and anime (while minimal) showed him as a gruff older man. I can't picture someone like that using any contractions. Especially since his dub voice actor enunciated all his words clearly...
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  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Feralninja View Post
    Not a bad chapter overall. I must say, that is one sassy bidoof.
    However, one minor gripe. You have professor rowan talking in contractions and slang. I sort of cringed when I saw that. It's all well and good to have young characters like Xander and Raj talk like that but when it comes to Rowan... I wouldn't.
    The development he got through the games and anime (while minimal) showed him as a gruff older man. I can't picture someone like that using any contractions. Especially since his dub voice actor enunciated all his words clearly...
    Yeah, I was torn when I was doing that. I think I'll change that. I wasn't too sure, I think I was trying to base him too much off of my own grandfather. I'll go and switch that.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  8. #33

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    I have a Bidoof called Jerry in my diamond file that I'm raising because of this BEAST. I loe Gonzap's amazing eyebrows too, I can see you're getting better Feral what did you mean by Rowan using contractions? I couldn't see it...unless you meant 'old pro's and such...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Displeased Owl View Post
    I have a Bidoof called Jerry in my diamond file that I'm raising because of this BEAST. I loe Gonzap's amazing eyebrows too, I can see you're getting better Feral what did you mean by Rowan using contractions? I couldn't see it...unless you meant 'old pro's and such...
    You didn't see them, cause I fixed them right away...
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    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

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    This story arc is almost wrapped up. At most there will be two more chapters. That's not the end of this book though, as this is only one part of his journey. Enjoy.

    Chapter 9: Mounting Tensions

    “Uhhh, wha-, where am I?” Xander asked weakly. Xander was in a standard hospital room, it had a bed, that he was laying, an IV unit, white washed walls, and he was hooked up to a multitude of machines. A nurse walked in, and set a meal in front of him.

    “You’re at Floraroma Town’s hospital,” She flashed him a genuine smile.

    “Oh, I was gonna say heaven, but now I see the food…”

    The nurse laughed, “Yeah, well, we aren’t known for our food. So, how are you feeling?”

    “Okay, I guess, although, I can’t feel much from the waist down.”

    The nurse nodded her head, “That’s to be expected when you had the degree of frostbite that you did.”

    “Frostbite?” Xander asked surprised.

    “Yeah, you had it pretty bad.”

    Last thing I remember, I was stuck in a snow bank, and was trying to get out…after that it’s a blank.”

    “Memory loss is not uncommon with this kind of traumatic incident.”

    “Wait, how did I get here? I was on Mount Coronet last I remember.”

    “I wasn’t here the night that you were brought in, but I heard a shiny Latias brought you in.”

    “Really! Where is she now?”

    “Uh,” the nurse, whose name tag read ‘Angela’, looked around, “She should be around here somewhere, she’s been visiting the children’s ward for as long as you’ve been here. The children absolutely love her, and she enjoys herself too.”

    Xander was confused, “Wait, did you say a week? How long have I been here?”

    “Nine days, she stayed by your side until you came out of the ICU, and then we told her that there was nothing else she could do. Even so, she spent around three hours a day watching over you.”

    Xander smiled, he hadn’t realized how much Latias cared about him. A horrible thought interrupted his happiness, “Wait, where are my poke balls?”

    Angela held up a finger, and went over to a corner of a room, “You had five poke balls on you when you came in. They’ve been worried about you.”

    Xander gladly took all five poke balls from Angela, “Wait, five? I had six pokemon with me.” He let out each of his pokemon from their poke balls, Scrafty, Braviary, Starmie, Volcarona, and Gorebyss. They all ran up onto his bed, and he hugged or pet them all, “It’s good to see you guys, sorry ta worry you.” He looked up at the nurse, “Was there a shiny Dragonite with me when I came in?”

    Angela frowned, “No, there wasn’t. Are you sure your Dragonite was with you?”

    Xander’s brow was furrowed, “Yeah, I’m sure, she was flying when I was knocked off of her. Where could she be?”

    ***Above Jubilife City***

    *I can’t believe I fell asleep!* Dragonite silently scolded herself. After she woke up in the cave, she looked for Xander, but all she found was a hole where Xander must’ve been. *Where could he be? I’ve already checked Oreburgh, Hearthome, and now Jubilife. If he got hurt because of my mistake…I don’t know what I’d do.* Dragonite decided that it was time for a rest. She had been looking for nearly a week, and she hadn’t taken as many breaks as she should have. How could she though, when her trainer was who knows where. She looked for a decent place to land and take a quick break. Dragonite wanted to avoid any public places if possible, she had had enough of people trying to capture her, only to have the poke ball bounce off. The only decent place to land that had water though was a public fountain. *Oh well, hopefully no one will try to catch me this time. I’ll only be landing for a minute.*

    When she landed a throng of people surrounded her, deciding that if she didn’t give them any attention, they might just go away. Unfortunately, they didn’t, *Perhaps if I send a Hurricane their way…* She lost her train of thought when she overheard two trainers talking.

    The one on the left was a young girl, probably about thirteen, she was talking to a boy the same age, “Hey look at that!” She pointed at Dragonite. “I wonder if that’s Xander’s Dragonite?”

    When Dragonite heard that she flew over in a flash. Both of the trainers were shocked, they had never seen a Dragonite up close, much less a shiny one. “Drag?”

    The two had a quizzical look on their faces, the girl spoke first, “I’m sorry, but we can’t understand you.”

    Dragonite hung her head, and was about to fly away, when the boy called out, “Jenny, I have an idea. Dragonite! How about we ask you yes or no questions, and you shake your head?”

    Dragonite thought for a moment, she then shook her head up and down enthusiastically.

    “Ok good,” The boy tried thinking of a good question to ask this Dragonite, “Let’s start with a basic question, is Xander your trainer?”

    Dragonite shook her head in an up and down pattern, which among humans meant “yes”.

    Jenny’s face lit up, “You’re really Xander’s Dragonite?! Wow, this is so cool Gerald!”

    “I know, but let’s focus Jenny, Dragonite looks like she’s in a hurry. Do you know where Xander is?”

    Dragonite rolled her eyes, and shook her head side-to-side, which meant “no”.

    Jenny’s eyes were all aglow, she had never seen a Dragonite up close before, and a shiny one was a sight to behold, “I wanna ask the next question! Do you know that Xander’s in the hospital?”

    Dragonite was shocked, *Oh no, I can’t believe this! It’s all my fault, if I hadn’t droped Xander, he would be safe and sound at Snowpoint City, instead of who knows where.*

    Gerald and Jenny felt for Dragonite. She had apparently not known about Xander being in the hospital. “Well, don’t worry too much about Xander, he’s okay. He was taken to the Floraroma hospital and just got outta the ICU this morning according to the news-hey where’re ya goin?” Gerald yelled as Dragonite flew off towards Floraroma town.

    *I have to get there. I gotta make sure Xander’s okay.*

    ***Snowpoint City Pokemon Center***

    Raj was sitting with the crowd of trainers in the pokemon center. Everyone was watching the TV because of the special news report that was playing. The news reporter was a petite, young woman in her twenties, and was in front of a hospital, that was surrounded by battered flowers. “We’re outside the Floraroma City Hospital, where world renowned trainer Xander, is being treated. So far, all we know is that he is out of the ICU, and that he was being treated for severe frostbite all over his body. When asked for an interview, he declined. Xander has entered three pokemon leagues, and has placed eighth in all of them. For his age, that’s an accomplishment in it of itself. However, what he is most known for is his paper on shiny pokemon. No one is sure how long he’s been working on it, but it was sent to all major pokemon professors in the world. Xander kept his work a secret from everyone, including his publisher, mentor, and friend Prof. Rowan. When asked about how long Xander had been working on his paper Prof. Rowan response was, and I quote, ‘I had absolutely no idea he was working on something of this caliber. We just talked a few weeks ago, and I suggested that he should research shiny pokemon, because he has such a passion for them. It seems like he wanted to keep it a secret until he was done. His response to my suggestion was that he had thought about it, and was flattered, but didn’t want to do that right now.’ End quote. His paper has received critical acclaim. Some of the papers biggest fans are Professors Ivy, Rowan, Birch, and Oak. Oak has called Xander’s paper, ‘A comprehensive encyclopedia of everything that we knew, and didn’t know, about shiny pokemon.’ Extremely high praise from perhaps the most esteemed Pokemon Professor in the world.”

    “Once we get an interview with Xander, we will be giving a special repor-what the heck is that?!”The reporter was looking off to the left, and the camera panned to the direction she was looking. In the distance were four pokemon, and all of them had riders. There was a green Salamence which was a massive man with equally massive eye brows; they were fighting a Skarmory, whose rider had white hair, and a blue trench coat. These two were fighting fiercely in close quarters combat and the Skarmory was reinforced by a Hydreigon, which was commanded by an older gentleman, and a orange haired girl.

    “Daisy, we should get outta here!” The camera man shouted frantically.

    “No, we aren’t leaving! We have a duty to-,” She was cut off as a Hyper Beam landed mere feet away from her. “Time to go!” She said quickly, and the duo dashed off as the camera cut to static.

    Raj dropped his blanket and got up quickly. *Well, at least I know where Xander is now, if only Gonzap hadn’t found out where he is. At least, I can only assume that was Gonzap. Without a doubt that was Rowan on that Hydreigon, and I think that was Wes. If there’s gonna be a battle, I need to be there.*

    Raj headed for his room, but was stopped in the hall by a nurse, “Raj, you need to rest. I know that you hate to sit around, but you need more rest. In a few days-“

    She was cut off by Raj, “In a few days what? In a few days my friend, who’s lying in the hospital, could be dead, a criminal organization that can capture other people’s pokemon, and control their minds, could have two legendary pokemon, and we could be facing a crisis that hasn’t been seen since Team Galactic. A few days can make all the difference, and my health isn’t worth all that could happen.” He pushed his way past her, and packed up.

    When he got back out to the common room of the pokemon center, he was surprised to see that all of the other trainers had done the same as him. All at once, everyone looked to Raj as if he were their commander. One of the taller boys spoke up, “I speak for everyone here. We’re ready to follow you Raj. You need our help to combat Team Snagem.”

    Raj shook his head, “Thank you for your offer, but I think Xander and I are more than capable of taking on a single man.”

    “I wish it were only a single man. After you left, they got the camera back online for a minute. They caught an army of people in Team Snagem uniforms marching on Floraroma Town. They must be serious about getting something in Floraroma town.”

    “It doesn’t matter. I won’t willingly put all of you in danger. Xander and I can take care of Team Snagem. You guys just sit tight and wait for all this to blow over.”

    A girl with golden hair stood up, “I’m not going to ‘sit tight’. I fought with Cole against Team Galactic, and I don’t plan to surrender to some glorified pokemon thieves.”

    “We’re gonna fight whether or not you want us to. The only question is, will you lead us?” The boy asked.

    Raj thought about it for just a moment, “If you guys are gonna help, you need to have coordinated movements. Fine, I’ll lead you.”

    There was a chorus of applause, and after a moment Raj motioned his hands for them to quiet down, “If we’re gonna stop Team Snagem, we should start the flight now. For those of you who don’t have a pokemon that can fly, you will pair up with someone that does. I will be giving out instructions through my Xtranciever. Everybody got that?” Everyone shook their heads. “Alright then, let’s move out!”
    Last edited by Xman96; 19th June 2011 at 4:03 AM.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

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    Not bad, but I need to note a few spelling errors. In the first sentence, "weekly" should be "weakly", and right before the scene shift, it should be "got outta" instead of "gout outta". Minor errors, really, but because they are actually words, spell check won't pick them up.

    Other than that, a very good chapter.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Feralninja View Post
    Not bad, but I need to note a few spelling errors. In the first sentence, "weekly" should be "weakly", and right before the scene shift, it should be "got outta" instead of "gout outta". Minor errors, really, but because they are actually words, spell check won't pick them up.

    Other than that, a very good chapter.
    *Facepalm* I have no idea why, but I was doing that alot tonight. I caught myself doing that on at least three other occasions. Thanks for catching them, and I'm glad you liked it.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

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    So I've decided to set up a PM list for anyone that wants to know when the next chapter is up. Just post here saying you'd like to be put on the list.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

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    Alright, so this is the second to last chapter of this arc, and I'm toying with a chapter that'll act like a bit of an epilouge. After that we're moving on to Hoenn and Heatran.

    Chapter 10: The Battle of Floraroma

    The hospital was in a general panic, as nurses and doctors tried to medivac the most seriously injured patients to the Eterna City Hospital. Xander was getting dressed in his room, and had just put his white T-Shirt on, when Angela came into the room, “What are you doing? You can barely stand.”

    Xander attached his poke ball to his belt, “No matter. Gonzap of Team Snagem is on his way, along with every grunt that he has. Floraroma is going to be a battlefield within the hour. Where’s Latias?”

    “I’m not sure, but I don’t think you should go anywhere. We need to evacuate you along with the others.”

    Xander pushed his way past her, “I’m not going to be evacuated.” He continued down the hall to the elevator. *Latias, Gonzap is coming, and I’m sure your brother is with him. Meet me outside, it’s time to end this.*

    Xander exited the elevator, and Latias was there to greet him, *I got your thought message. Are you sure you’re up to taking Gonzap on?*

    “It’s not a choice Latias. He has Salamence, and is threatening you, and the world.”

    *Speaking of Salamence, how are you going to get him back?*

    “To be honest, I’m not sure. Hey, is that Rui?” Xander stepped outside and saw Rui running up. She gave him a hug, “What in the world are you doing here?”

    “Well, we were going to Snowpoint City, when we noticed a large movement towards Floraroma. Wes headed straight for them, and he got into a flight battle with Gonzap, and Rowan and I backed him up.”

    “I know, you were on the news.”

    “I was! Cool, did ya get a video tape of it?”

    “Uh, no, sorry, I was kind of worrying about my Salamence being used for evil, and them heading here to get Latias.”

    Rui hit him in the arm, “I was kidding. Anyways, here comes Rowan and Wes.”

    Rui was right; Wes and Rowan were walking up the hill to the entrance of the hospital. They both had worried looks on their faces. Wes walked up to Xander and extended his hand, “Hey Xander, it’s good to finally meet you.”

    Xander shook Wes’ hand, “It’s good to meet you as well. Thanks for coming, and giving us a hand.”

    Wes nodded, “I need to talk to you in private.”

    Xander arched his eyebrow, “Uh, okay. Let’s talk over here.” Xander and Wes walked off to the other side of the hospital.

    “What could Wes wanna talk ta Xander about?” Rui asked Rowan.

    “I am not sure Rui. Whatever it is, it must be important. Let’s not ponder that right now, let’s go and help evacuate people.”

    “Alright, that sounds like a good idea,” The twosome went into the Hospital.

    ***The Back of the Hospital***

    “Alright Wes, so what did you wanna talk to me about that you couldn’t mention in front of the others?”

    “I know that this might be weird considering I just met you and all, but there’s something I want you to have,” Wes took out the glove that he had shown Rui and Rowan earlier.

    Xander was confused, “What is it?”

    “It’s a snag machine.”

    “I thought you destroyed it?”

    “Not so much destroyed, more, miniaturized.”

    “This is too dangerous for anyone to have.”

    “People keep saying that, but I saved an entire region thanks to this thing.”

    “There were extenuating circumstances though.”

    “There are extenuating circumstances now. Look, you need to get Salamence, and
    Latios back. You know that you have no chance against both of those together.”

    Xander mulled it over for a minute before answering, “As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right. Please, use it to save Salamence and Latios.”

    “No Xander, I won’t be the one to use it,” Wes tossed it to Xander, who caught it instinctively.

    Xander just looked at it for a moment before putting it on, “Fine, I’ll do it, but just for the record, I don’t like this.”

    Wes smiled, “I didn’t expect you to, and that’s why I know you’re the best candidate to use it. Come on, let’s get ready, I only slowed Gonzap down temporarily, and he doesn’t give up easily.”

    Xander nodded, and the two walked off to get ready for the inevitable battle.

    ***Team Snagem Base***

    “Well, this is a much nicer location than our last base,” commented Trudly.

    “There’s the understatement of the year,” Folly said dryly.

    “Everyone, report to the main gathering area, for a briefing,” was heard over some megaphones, that were strategically placed throughout the camp to make sure that no matter where you were, you could hear them.

    “Well, looks like big boss man, and his new sidekick Jerry want to talk to all of us,” Trudly said as he got up. “We’d better get going before Gonzap’s pet-never mind, here he comes,” Trudly sighed.

    Jerry walked haughtily in his pristine uniform, and approached the dim-witted pair, “Trudly, Folly, why aren’t you guys reporting for the briefing?”

    “Uh, maybe because the announcement was just, uh, announced,”

    “Fine, I’ll let you two off with a warning, but just this once.”

    “Uh sure,” Folly had an idea-which was rare for him, “Hey Jerry, I think those guys over there,” He motioned to the group that had told them awhile ago that their tent wasn’t ready, “Are saying how lame Bidoof are.”

    At this Jerry looked furious, “Thanks for telling me Folly, now, to set those guys straight.” He stormed off, and let his Bidoof out. Trudly and Folly couldn’t quite here the exchange, but they did see the Ice Beam, and the ensuing Superpowered throw into the air.

    Trudly and Folly were laughing all the way to the briefing. When they got to the briefing, Gonzap had already started speaking, and Jerry was at his side. How in the world he got their before the partners in crime, they would never know. The other thing they would never understand, is how Jerry rose to be Gonzap’s right hand so quickly. Almost immediately after the battle, Gonzap asked Jerry to be his second in command, Jerry accepted on the spot, and things have gone downhill since. Gonzap never really made good decisions, but he seemed to be enthralled by the power of Jerry’s Bidoof, but when Gonzap tried to command the Bidoof it just attacked him. You could still see the damage of the attack on Gonzap’s face, in the form of his left eyebrow partially missing. It had only been a week since the incident, but it was nearly back to its former glory.

    Gonzap was briefing the group, his eyebrows moving with the wind, “…and so, our target is the Shiny Latias, this must be the priority above all else. We have a few secondary objectives though that whoever completes them will receive a raise.” There was an uproar of barks, and whooping at this, Gonzap waited for it to calm down, but when it didn’t immediately, he got impatient, “Shut up!” Gonzap had a short fuse, and when he yelled like that, everyone got quiet real fast. “Alright, our secondary targets are these four,” He pointed to a screen that was set up behind him, and the screen flashed four pictures. There was one of Xander, one of Wes, one of Rui, and one of Raj, “These four are to blame for much of the damage done to us. For every one that is captured, I will give everyone five-hundred dollars.” There was more whooping at this, but all Gonzap had to do was stare really hard at his henchmen and they shut up. “Um, well, besides that, just attack!”

    ***At the Hospital***

    “Are you sure you are feeling okay?” Rowan asked Xander.

    Xander was taking one of his medications that he had been prescribed for his frostbite, “Yeah, I’m not too bad. Stuff sure does look horrible,” He was right, the skin that had been affected on his legs has hundreds of black blisters all over them. It was amazing that he was even able to stand, let alone defend a town. “Thanks for coming, and helping Professor.”

    Rowan wondered how Xander could even stand in that condition, “Please, do not mention it. I have to ask though, do those blisters hurt?”

    Xander looked down at his legs and rubbed them gently, “A bit, but it’s a dull pain, and I don’t mind. I find that it keeps me alert,” Xander managed a smile. “Sorry to cut this short, but I really need to go to the rehab gym to get some help with my legs cause they’re still a bit stiff. You said that you wanted to give me something?”

    Rowan smiled, “It is something that I have owed you for, oh about a year now.” Rowan reached into his pocket and pulled out a small purple sphere with two red knobs on the top. He clicked a button on the front of it and it enlarged. He tossed it to Xander, who caught it with one hand.

    “A master ball?” Xander was surprised to see something this rare, “Are you sure about this? I mean, this is worth a small fortune.”

    “No, you deserve it. I thought you deserved it when you placed eighth in your first league competition. I apologize for not getting it to you earlier, but I kept forgetting.”

    “No worries, heck, better late than never right?”

    Rowan chuckled, “Quite right. Now, we had better get ready. There are some patients here that said they would help us in the upcoming fight, and they need a leader.”
    Xander stopped before they left the room, “Rowan, I’m worried about Latias.”

    “Why, what is wrong?”

    “She’s wearing herself out. She’s been trying to put on a happy face, but she’s
    obviously worried about her brother, and Salamence.”

    “How do you know this?”

    “I’m not sure, but she communicates to me through telepathy, maybe she can’t shield her thoughts from me as well as she used too.”

    “Hm, sounds probable. I hope that she gets better just like you do, but right now, our minds need to be focused on the upcoming battle.”

    “You’re right, let’s go.”

    ***An Hour Later, At the Hospital***

    Many of the patients that were in a critical state had been moved, and all that remained were people with minor injuries. Many of these people had pokemon of their own, and volunteered to help. Xander and Wes took charge of the situation and organized the thirty or so people into groups, each with a leader. There was calm, when everything seemed surreal to Xander, like none of this was real, like he was back at home. That wasn’t the case, as the silence was broken by an army of nearly 500 marched up the road to the hospital, and Gonzap was at the lead.

    “Are you ready to do this?” Wes spoke solemnly.

    “Am I ready to face my best friend, and partner Salemence? Yeah, I think I am.”

    “Don’t forget, all of you do is grip a poke ball in the snag machine, and you’ll be able to capture Salamence, and Latios.”

    “I got it Wes.” Xander turned to the group behind him, “Alright, you all know the plan, Gonzap is mine. The rest to of you need to distract his grunts.”

    A short man stepped forward, “How are we supposed to do that? There have to be more than 300 of them. There’s only thirty of us.”

    “I’m of the belief that quality beats quantity, each one of you guys are worth ten of Gonzap’s men. We can do this.” Just as Xander finished his mini speech there was a loud sound from behind the opposing army. A large force of pokemon and trainers were flying in. “What the hell…” Xander was stunned, there was no way he could take on an aerial force as well as a ground force, and things just might be hopeless.

    I'm nt sure if this chapter has been up to snuff, and if it isn't please tell me. I've been distracted because of the flooding so close to my house, and have been working on this to keep my mind off of it.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

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    Hey finally caught up, it's getting better, darn you for a cliffhanger! Can't wait to see the battle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Displeased Owl View Post
    Hey finally caught up, it's getting better, darn you for a cliffhanger! Can't wait to see the battle.
    It's good to know that the book just keeps getting better! Oh boy, the finale is what I'm nervous about writing. I really want it to make sense, be exciting, and give a sense of completeness. I'm taking a few days break to just recharge after everything that's been going on, so I might not get it up until the end of the week.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

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    Man I feel you, I really need to start the next bit of Journeymen, maybe some art too. Been very biusy the past few weeks

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    Well, I'm sorry that I haven't been able to get out a new chapter, but I've felt kinda burnt out this week with stuff that is going on in Minot (which is where I live). To make matters worse, I'm leaving on vacation, and where I'm going they don't have Wifi! Oh well, I'll still have my computer, and hope to have at least two chapters by the time I come back.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

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    Okay, so here's the finale. I'm gonna be on the safe side and rate it PG-13 for some swearing.

    Chapter 11: Showdown

    As Xander stood and looked at the sight ahead of him, he was in shock. If there was such thing as an out of body experience, that’s what was happening to him right now. He saw everything as if he were in the air, he saw himself, Wes, Rui, Rowan, and the brave trainers that stood by him and were looking to him for orders. *We can’t win this. Not with the aerial force, and Gonzap’s men on the ground. It was bleak before, but now…now there’s no hope.*

    *Well, this is a side that I’ve never seen of you before.* It was Latias projecting her thoughts, and Xander, for the first time, noticed that she was right beside him.

    “What are you doing here?”

    *What are you talking about? I’m showing you what I see.*

    “Wait, what?”

    *I can show other beings what I see, that is, if I choose to.*

    “Oh, so that’s what’s happening.”

    *Yes, I thought that you needed to see the battle field from above, and to see what the hospital is blocking.*

    All of a sudden, Xander’s vision turned a full 180 degrees, and he was looking at a flock of pokemon that was just a bit smaller than the aerial pokemon that supported Gonzap, “Please tell me that they’re on our side.”

    *They are. Haven’t you wondered where Raj has been?*

    To be honest, Xander hadn’t. He had been too busy recovering and worrying about
    Team Snagem to think about what had happened to Raj. “Uh, I guess I just kinda figured he was at Snowpoint City.”

    *He was, but he heard about what was happening here, and brought some trainers to help.*

    Xander’s spirits rose at this point, “We can do this, can’t we?”

    Latias smiled, *Yes, but only if we get to the battle right now. I’ve taken too much of your time to show you this. Now, it’s up to us.*

    Xander nodded, and suddenly was seeing through his own eyes again. *That has to be one of the most disorienting experiences ever.* He turned to his group and gave them the good news. Just as he finished, the trainers cleared the Hospital, and charged straight for the enemy. Xander took the cue, and let his pokemon out. Scrafty, Braviary, Starmie, Volcarona, and Gorebyss all came out of their poke balls. The other trainers did the same. After Raj’s men engaged the aerial pokemon, Xander knew that it was time, “Charge!” He yelled, and everyone and their pokemon followed. “You guys,” he pointed at his pokemon, “Stay by me, I’m going to need you for when I encounter Gonzap.” A lot of things were uncertain about this battle, but one thing that Xander was sure of, is that he would battle Gonzap, and he would get Latios and Salamence back.
    The battles were fierce. Trainers form both sides had to dodge stray attacks that came from pokemon all around them. If Xander had to pick one word to describe it, it would have to be chaos. This was something that he was unprepared for. He hadn’t been part of the Team Rocket or Weather Trio incident. Nor had he partaken in the battle against Team Galactic. He had battled Team Plasma a bit, but an elite trainer named Cole had really won that war. Full scale battle such as this, was something that he had never dreamed he would experience. At a certain point, adrenaline simply took over his, and his pokemon’s, actions. He would dodge, give out orders, and run, all without thinking. He could tell that his pokemon were doing the same thing, as they weren’t always waiting for his commands, and simply acted on instinct.

    As Xander and his pokemon waded through the battle, he was able to take down some grunts himself. Although he was almost flattened by a falling Flygon, he simply moved on. He could see Gonzap ahead, and he made a mad dash for the large man. When he came within fifteen feet of Gonzap, the man held up a hand, and suddenly, all of the grunts converged on Xander. “Gonzap you bastard! You can’t take me on by yourself, so you’ll have your men take me out instead?!”

    “What’s the point of honor, if you know you can win without it? I know that you do have a chance to beat me, and I don’t wanna take that chance. All right boys, first one to take him out will get-“He was cut off by a stray Acid Spray and his men fell back over each other to get out of the way. The attack had created a ring around Xander and Gonzap that, at its diameter was about twenty feet. Xander looked up and saw Raj and Donnie. Raj gave him a thumbs up and then said something to Mr. Socky, who Raj was riding on. Out of the Hydreigon’s mouth came a stream of fire that hit the ring of acid. All at once, the ground that was hit burst into flames, and there was a ring of fire surrounding Xander and Gonzap. “Hm, looks like I’ll have to beat you myself.”

    “Pride comes before folly, Gonzap, remember that as I haul you off to jail.”

    “Time to send your butt crying back to mommy, go Drapion!” The big, four legged, purple pokemon materialized and just stared at Xander.

    Xander recalled all of his pokemon except for Volcarona, “Alright Volcarona, it’s time for your baptism by fire, literally! Use Quiver Dance!” Volcarona began flying around in a figure eight pattern, glowing all the while. Speeding up, and flowing a bright red, that beautifully contrasted its yellow wings.

    “Drapion, don’t let it finish, use Cross Poison!” Drapion moved swiftly, and struck Volcarona with glowing, crossed pincers.

    Volcarona made a hissing sound, “Fly up and over to the other side of the fire wall, then use Fiery Dance.” In a flash, thanks to Quiver Dance, Volcarona was on the other side of the fire wall, and sent a blast of heat and wind, that was far more intense than normal thanks to the wall of fire.

    Drapion was deceptively fast, and was only grazed by the attack, but that was just enough to give him a nasty burn. “Forget it Drapion, use Earthquake!” Despite the burn on his leg, he dug them into the soft, earthy, soil beneath him, and sent a shockwave through the ground with his arms. Volcarona, though it does hover, cannot fly high enough to avoid attacks such as Earthquake, and he took the full brunt of the attack. He fell to the ground with a thud, and landed on its wings. “Alright Drapion, finish it with Night Slash!”

    Just as Drapion was going in for the finishing blow, Xander pulled out a poke ball, “Volcarona, return!” The all too familiar red beam came out of the sphere and encased Volcarona in the same colored light, as it disappeared. “You’ll be able to help later, just not now.” Xander grabbed another poke ball from his belt and threw it, and out came his Gorebyss. The fire danced off of her lovely golden skin. She carefully steadied herself using her back fin. “Gorebyss, I need you to win this fight! Use Shell Smash.” Gorebyss simply fell forward with an extra push from her tail fin, and crushed her shells, which quickly grew back.

    Gonzap scratched his bald head, “What the hell was that supposed to do? If you wanna waste your time beating yourself up, all the better. Drapion, use Swords Dance!” Drapion’s claws began to glow, and it made a couple of criss-crossing motions in front of itself, and then began to glow a fierce purple.

    “We might be in trouble Gorebyss, Baton Pass!” Gorebyss began to glow, and kept glowing so the light was blinding. Then, all at once, the light dissipated and she was gone. Xander checked her poke ball to make sure that she was actually there, and she was. Xander sent out one of his oldest friends, Starmie.

    The star like pokemon appeared, and was ready for battle. “Starmie, you’ve helped me with many battles, and now is the most important battle yet.” Starmie shook in recognition, and then began glowing the same brilliant white as Gorebyss, and to Xander’s shock, stayed that way.”

    “Drapion, take out that sea star with Night Slash!” Gonzap barked.

    “Starmie, meet Drapion half way with Rapid Spin!” Starmie began to float and spin so fast that it looked like a solid disc. The two glowing pokemon charged at each other, and met at the center of the circle. There was a tremendous explosion. Both Xander’s and Gonzap’s eyes teared up because of the smoke, and Xander coughed so hard he wondered if it was possible to cough a lung up. After the smoke cleared, both pokemon were still standing, but neither was glowing. At the same time, both pokemon fell over, and were recalled. *Damn it! Without all of my pokemon, I’m not sure I can win this.* “Scrafty, you’re up!” Scrafty looked around sleepily. *Hmm, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to bring Scrafty into this life or death situation…*

    Xander’s train of thought was broken when he saw Gonzap send out a Nidoking. “Nidoking, let’s send this dim witted pokemon packing, use Ice Beam!”
    Nidoking began charging the chilly beam, and then, Xander had an idea, “Scrafty, use Dragon Dance to dodge!” That woke Scrafty right up. One thing about Scrafty was, he didn’t really care what he was doing, as long as he could break dance while doing it. However, if he couldn’t break dance, he wouldn’t budge. Xander learned how to get past this, and found out that he could actually use it to their advantage because of the odd way Scrafty does everything.

    Scrafty began to glow varying shades of red, black, and blue. As Nidoking sent out multiple Ice Beams, Scrafty got to work. He span on his hands, head, and just about every other part of his body to dodge them. “Alright Scrafty, close in, and use Crunch.” He kept dodging, spinning, and weaving his way towards Nidoking, becoming faster every second. By the time Scrafty got within range to attack Nidoking, he had been backed close to the wall of fire. Scrafty then leapt forward and bit directly onto Nidoking’s head, and jumped off as quickly as before. Nidoking howled out in pain, and stumbled back through the wall of fire. That took him out of the fight, and Gonzap looked frustrated.

    “Damn you Xander! No matter, there’s no way that you could possibly hurt your own partner,” And with that last word he threw out the master ball that Xander had seen so many weeks before. Out came his old friend, and partner, Salamence. Something wasn’t right though, Salamence had pitch black eyes. “Ah, what the hell, let’s go all out, Latios, let’s finish this punk,” Gonzap also pitched the second master ball that he had, and out came Latios. It had the same pitch black, almost void-like eyes that Salamence had.
    “Salamence…” Was all Xander could say. The shock of seeing Salamence like this was almost too much for him. In his shock, he had almost forgotten his ace in the hole. Xander had made a few modifications of his own to the illegal device. His thought was that if he ever got caught with it he would go to jail, modifying it so that any pokemon caught with it didn’t count against his six that he could have with him wouldn’t make much of a difference. He realized that there was only one problem, he only had one master ball, but which should he ensure a catch with? It would have to be Salamence, because he would actually listen to Xander. “Gonzap, what an underhanded stunt to pull. Alright, let’s do this, master-what?” All of a sudden there was a whoosh of air and Latias appeared in the middle of the fight.

    *Brother, snap out of it, it’s me, Latias,* There was so much sorrow in her thoughts that it was almost too much for Xander to bear.

    Gonzap just smirked, “Don’t waste your energy. We perfected the mind control technology. They can’t hear a word ya say.” Gonzap reached into his back pocket and pulled out another master ball. Xander had come to hate the sight of those things. “Now to complete the pair!” He sent the master ball hurdling towards Latias, who was frozen with fear. Fear for her brother, fear for Salamence, and fear for herself.

    “Damn it! Go master ball!” Xander’s Snag Machine began to flow a bright yellow, and he sent the ultimate poke ball directly towards Latias. Xander’s ball, because he was closer to Latias, hit her in the back and she disappeared. The, now full, master ball returned to Xander and he looked at it. *This isn’t what I wanted, but I have no choice,* Gonzap’s master ball continued past its intended point, and went right through the wall of fire that was still raging. Xander sent out Latias, who looked confused.

    *What happened?*

    “Sorry, but I had to capture you, and now I need your help to free those two!” Xander pointed at the two shiny dragons on the other side of the field.

    *Sounds good. I was going to help you anyway.*

    Gonzap was furious now, and his eyebrows were shaking visibly, “You’ll pay for this! Salamence, Earthquake, and Latios, use Draco Meteor…on your sister.”

    “Gonzap, you’re heartless, and for that, you’ll rot in jail. Latias, dodge it, and use Calm Mind. Scrafty, dodge the Earthquake, and strike Salamence with Dragon Claw!” They both sprang into action. Scrafty began his routine, but was thrown off by the tremors, and barely made the leap up to Salamence.

    “Salamence, finish off that street dancer with your own Dragon Claw!” Salamence’s front right claws were surrounded in bluish, draconic energy, and he met Scrafty’s own fist head on. The collision of so much energy cause an explosion and Scrafty fell from the thick black smoke, and hit the ground with a thud.

    While the battle between Scrafty and Salamence was going on, Latias was facing off against her own brother, and it broke her heart. *Brother, I know this’ll hurt you, but it’s necessary to free you.* He didn’t respond in the slightest. Latios robotically moved his hands in front of his chest, and began forming a redish, orange sphere. Latias knew that she didn’t have much time, so she quieted her mind, and cleared her head of all thoughts. While in this meditative state, she caught a glimpse of the future, and exactly where all of the meteors would land. She also saw where he would be open to attack directly after the Draco Meteor. Latias came out of this meditative state just as Latios sent the sphere of energy up to the sky. All of a sudden, the sphere exploded and sent dozens of meteors down to the surface.

    Latias knew exactly where to go. She dodged, and weaved, in an almost unnatural accuracy. Xander and Gonzap had to duck and dodge themselves, to get away from the ensuing explosions. Scrafty fell right into one of them, and was barely
    breathing. “Scrafty return,” Xander whipped out Scrafty’s poke ball as fast as he could, and got him to safety for the time being. “Rest, and I’ll get you to safety as soon as I can.” Xander put the poke ball back onto his belt. Xander looked up at Gonzap, with what seemed to be an unnatural anger. Xander didn’t say anything, he just glared at Gonzap. Words were meaningless at this point. This unnerved Gonzap more than if Xander had chewed him out. Latias felt Xander’s anger, and it spurred her to take her brother out. She charged, and let loose a Draco Meteor at point blank range. Both brother and sister were thrown directly into the ground.

    *Xander, now-now’s your chance. Capture my brother, do it…for me,* That was all she could muster, before she fell unconscious.

    “Latias…I will.” Xander took out his master ball to return Latias. When she was safe, he grabbed a poke ball, and activated the Snag Machine. His poke ball glowed brightly, and he sent it careening towards Latios. While all of this happened, Gonzap was trying to get up from the ground, which he was thrown to because of the shockwave, coughing from the smoke, which the wind had carried to his part of the field. The poke ball hit the shiny Latios in the head, and he disappeared into it. It dinged once…twice…thrice. It returned to Xander. *Alright, one down, one to go.* “All right, the rest of you, come out!” With that, all of his pokemon that were still in fighting condition, Gorebyss, Volcarona, and Braviary, came out.

    “This isn’t over Xander! I’ll catch all of your pokemon, or did you forget that I have a Snag Machine of my own?” He reached for a poke ball, but none was to be found, worse, when he looked at his right hand, the machine that was previously there was shattered to bits, and his hand was bleeding. “Wha-what!” He roared. He reached for his other pokemon, but even they had fallen off of his belt, and when he looked around, weren’t anywhere near him. Gonzap seemed to recover quickly, “No matter, there’s something that you haven’t seen yet.” Gonzap took out a remote, and pressed a red button on it. Right then, Salamence’s eyes went from pitch black, to a blood red. He began to foam at the mouth, and looked around.

    “What did you do to him!”

    “This is what we were testing a couple of weeks ago when Salamence attacked Snowpoint City. It sends them into, what my scientists call, Berserk Mode. In this state, the pokemon is pushed past their limits. In this state, they are ten times more powerful.”

    “But if they are pushed that far beyond their limits, then that’ll kill them!”

    Gonzap just shrugged, “As long as they take some enemies down with them, I couldn’t care less.”

    Xander was furious; he had spent over a year working on his paper, studying these beautiful creatures, and this how he treats them! “Gonzap…I don’t even know how to respond to that,” Anger dripped from his voice.

    “It doesn’t matter how you respond, because you’re done. Salamence, finish off these insignificant pokemon with Earthquake.”

    Salamence slammed straight down into the ground, and created and earthquake that would have registered as a nine on the Richter Scale. Xander and his pokemon were thrown twenty feet, and the rest of the Floraroma town was utterly destroyed. After the dust cleared, Xander staggered onto his feet. He could taste blood in his mouth, and his arms were cut up pretty bad. Luckily, the Snag Machine was still intact. When Xander looked around, he couldn’t believe the devastation. Buildings were absolutely and utterly destroyed. Pokemon, and trainers were lying, unconscious or dead all around him. He looked for his three pokemon that were out when the earthquake hit, and they were alive, barely. He returned them to their poke balls.

    “I-I-I’m so sorry,” He spoke to his poke balls, “This is all my fault, I wasn’t good enough.” He dropped to his knees in exhaustion and grief.

    Gonzap began walking across the uneven surface towards Xander, Salamence in tow, “Now you see the hopelessness that you face. Your pokemon are defeated, your air force is on the retreat, and you’re all alone. Salamence, finish this sad excuse for a trainer.”

    Xander looked up at his friend. He looked into his blood red eyes, and then at his fangs that were covered in fire. Xander hung his head. Salamence began walking over to Xander. Out of nowhere, there was a flash of dark green, which hurtled directly into Salamence. Salamence was drilled twenty feet through the torn up ground, and got right back up.

    In front of Xander stood Dragonite, “Hey there, long time no see.”

    “Drag,” She nodded.

    “Glad you could make it. Looks like you got here just in time. Are you ready to win this fight?”

    “Dragonite!”

    “Good. Fly up to an altitude of 200 feet, then do a spinning Dragon Rush directly into Salamence.” It hurt Xander to say that, but it had to be done.

    “Where did that thing come from?!” Gonzap was furious for having victory snatched from him. “Salamence, kill this beast with Dragon Claw!”

    Salamence shook the rubble of his back, and his two front claws began to burn a fierce blue. Dragonite at the same moment reached her intended altitude, and her whole body began to glow the same fierce blue. Salamence and Dragonite charged at each other, and met in the middle of the two trainers. The collision of power was so great, that the smoke blotted out the sun, and the shockwave sent everything, and everyone, flying.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  20. #45

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    Yes, a fitting final battle, you're getting better by the chapter! I can't wait to read the epilogue!

  21. #46
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    Jan 2011
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    Alright, so here's the epilouge.

    Chapter 12: Aftermath

    ***One Month after the Battle for Floraroma***

    Xander’s eyes flickered open, and bright light dazzled them. He had to blink a few more times before his eyes had adjusted enough to see. When he could see, he took in his surroundings. What he saw made him groan, he was in a stark white hospital room, and was hooked up to an IV unit, heart monitor, and a few other machines that he really didn’t want to know what they did. He licked his lips, and realized how dry his whole mouth was. He fumbled around the bed trying to look for the remote to call the nurse, and, after a minute or two, was able to find it and pressed the button. Almost immediately, a familiar face walked in, it was Angela. She had a glass of water in her hand and gave it to Xander, who drank it slowly to make sure that his entire mouth was hydrated.

    After he finished his water, he could actually speak, “Hm, I think I’ve been in this situation before.”

    Angela smiled, “Yes, you have. How are you feeling?”

    Xander moved his arms a bit, “Been better, but besides the dry mouth, I don’t feel too bad. What happened, and why am I here?”

    Angela’s smile faded, “First, I need to ask you a question. What was the last thing you remember?”

    Xander thought hard, and it all came back to him, “Last thing I remember was that I was in a heated battle with Gonzap, and I ordered Dragonite to attack Salamence. Then there was an explosion, and…that’s it.”

    “Well, at least you haven’t lost any of your memory. That’s a good sign.”

    Xander had a feeling of sorrow, “Wha-what happened to my pokemon?”

    Now, Angela gave a slight smile, “They’re all okay, more or less. Scrafty, Braviary, Gorebyss, and Volcarona were in the ICU for a week, but otherwise they are okay.”
    “What about Salamence, and Dragonite?” Xander really didn’t want to hear any bad news right now, but he had to know their fate.

    “They were badly injured, but they’re strong, and survived. They each have some scars, though nothing that will hinder them in life. Salamence is still in recovery. Whatever Gonzap did to him, it messed him up. Luckily, you were able to incapacitate Salamence before any permanent damage was done.”

    Xander breathed a sigh of relief, “Good, thank you.” He then realized that he still had no idea why he was here, “Wait, you said that some of my pokemon were in the ICU for a week. How long have I been out?”

    Angela gave him a sympathetic smile, “You’ve been in a coma for a month.”

    If Xander had been told that he was going to be an Elite Four member, he wouldn’t have been as surprised as he was now, “A-a-a month?!”

    “Yes, you and Gonzap were very close to the explosion, and humans weren’t meant to withstand that kind of power. Gonzap woke up a few days ago, and he’s been arrested.”

    “Well, there’s some good news.”

    “Yes, it is, and I heard that there’s an ironclad case against him.”

    Xander nodded, “But, where am I? I mean, I know I’m in a hospital, but wasn’t the one in Floraroma was destroyed by the earthquake?”

    “Yes it was,” Angela’s eyes teared up, “We…lost a lot of people when the hospital was leveled. I was lucky enough to have been one of the doctors that were taken to Jubilife, which is where we are now.”

    “I’m sorry Angela. How many were lost total?”

    Angela wiped her eyes, “Out of the thirty trainers on the ground, twenty-five made it. The aerial force was decimated however, and out of the odd one hundred, only thirty made it.”

    Xander wasn’t sure he could handle the answer to his next question, “Was Raj among the survivors?”

    “You mean the Champion of the Unova region?”

    “Yeah, he’s a good friend of mine.”

    “You’re very lucky Xander; no one that was close to you has been seriously injured. Raj came off pretty much unscathed. You should be grateful, most people can’t say that when there’s a battle like that.”

    “Yeah, I realize that. Is Raj here?”

    “Unfortunately no, he paid for your hospital bill, and said to give you this,” She took out an envelope, and handed it to Xander.

    “Thank you,“Xander opened it. It read, “Dear Xander, if you got this, then that means that you woke up. I wish that I could be there and make sure that you’re doing okay, but some things have come up that need my attention. Just remember, you owe me, and I’ll collect one day. Your Friend, Raj.”

    Xander smiled, “Thanks for this Angela. I can’t believe that I haven’t asked this yet, but what happened to Latias and her brother?”

    “Latios was better off than Salamence because he was never put into that overdrive, or whatever it was called and recovered remarkably fast. Latias suffered mild damage from her Draco Meteor, but wasn’t hurt too badly.”

    “Are they still here?”

    “Yes, although, it seems like the two fight a lot.”

    “Well, they are brother and sister. So am I all caught up?”

    “I suppose for the most part. However, you have three guests that want to see you. I’ll go tell them that you’re awake.”

    After she left, Xander had some time alone. *Looks like I survived, and with no lasting consequences thank Arceus. Many gave their lives though for this, and I can never repay them. I suppose the best I can do is live my life to the fullest to honor what they’ve sacrificed. I wonder if Raj really is going to collect on that favor… *

    Xander’s thoughts were interrupted by a hug from his cousin Rui, “Xander! I’m so glad you woke up!”

    “I can’t breathe!” Xander gasped.

    Rui quickly let go, “Oh, sorry.” She smiled, and Xander returned it, “I’m just so glad to see that you’re okay.”

    “It’s good to know that you’re okay too. Where’s Rowan?”

    “Wes went to get him. So, how ya feeling?”

    “Like I told the nurse, I’ve been better, but from the sounds of things, I got off easy.”
    “Yeah we did. I didn’t know any of the people that died, but I spoke to some of their families. It was heartbreaking.”

    “I wish I could have done something to help them.”

    “But you did. I told them about you, and most of them said that they don’t blame you.”
    “Most?”

    “Unfortunately there were a few people that were looking for someone to blame, and they pinned it on you.”

    “They aren’t totally wrong.”

    “Yes they are! Don’t you dare blame yourself for what happened! Gonzap did this, and it’s his fault.”

    “Alright, alright,” Xander put his hands up in a mock defensive gesture.

    Rowan walked in, followed by Wes, “Xander, it is good to see you up!”

    “Thanks Rowan, it’s good to be up, although, you’d think that after a month of sleep I’d feel more rested.”

    Everyone chuckled a bit at this, and Wes chimed in, “You did really well Xander. You’ve saved this region, and many others. Because of you, Gonzap will more than likely get the death sentence.”

    “That is good news. Rowan, I do have one question.”

    “Then I’ll answer it to the best of my abilities.”

    “I might be remembering things wrong, but did I see Jerry at the battle?”

    “Yes, you did. He had joined up with Gonzap, and when we questioned him, he said that he joined because he liked the uniforms.”

    Xander’s left eye began to twitch again, “Are you serious.”

    “Sadly, yes, I am. What’s worse is that he escaped while en route to the prison.”

    “How in the world did he do that?!”

    “His Bidoof followed him, and ripped the armored truck to shreds.”

    “Well, at least he’s original. I highly doubt that this is the last that we’ve seen from him.”

    “Yes, quite.”

    Rui chimed in, “I’m just glad that you woke up now. We have to leave tomorrow.”

    “Is there any reason?”

    This time, Wes spoke up before Rui could, “I’ve been called in as an eyewitness in Gonzap’s case. He still needs to be tried for what happened in Orre four years ago.”
    “Well, then I wish you luck, and I’m glad that I could see you guys before you left.”
    “Yeah, I am too,” Rui said, “Don’t make yourself such a stranger; stop by if you’re ever in Orre.”

    Xander smiled, “I will, I promise.”

    “Xander, I need to speak to you in private,” Wes said somberly.

    Rui nodded and walked out. Rowan called back before he left, “Once you get a free moment, I would like to discuss some things about your paper.”

    Once they were alone Wes went over and pulled all of the blinds, “What is this about Wes?”

    “I combed the battlefield before the police got there, and I grabbed this,” He held up the Snag Machine. “It’s yours so it’s up to you to decide what to do with it.”

    “What do you want me to do?”

    “To be honest, I think it needs to be destroyed.”

    “I agree with you Wes, but I’d like to study it for now. I’m gonna be stuck here for a while, and I’ll need something to do.”

    “I’m glad that you feel that way,” He tossed the glove to Xander. “Unfortunately, Rui and I need to get going.”

    “Thank you Wes.”

    “For what?”

    “For everything, for taking care of Rui, for coming to help me, and for helping me get
    Salamence back.”

    Wes smiled as he left, “Don’t get all mushy on me.”

    *It’s going to be hard to readjust back to normal life after all this.* Xander then decided that he was tired of sitting there. He took out the IV unit, and detached the rest of the cords. He got up and sent a thought message to Latias, *Hey, I’m up and movin, could you come up here and show me where the rest of my pokemon are?*

    *Sure, I’ll be right there.*

    Xander could tell that Latias was hiding something from him. There was some thought that she was trying to cover up. He was surprised that he could sense that. A moment later she came through an open window, “Latias, what’s wrong?”

    *Nothing, why do you ask?*

    “You can’t hide much from me Latias. Our bond has strengthened, and I can tell that some thing’s bothering you.”

    Latias sighed, *My brother is upset with me and left.*

    “Why is he upset with you?”

    *Well, it’s because I decided to stay with you.*

    “Latias, no, I can’t let you do that. You’re free to go back to Hoenn, and to live your life like you did before.”

    *But I can’t live my life like I did before. I lived in total seclusion, and was taught that all humans were evil. You proved my brother wrong, and I want to see the world. I want to meet more people.*

    “I can’t ask you to give up your family though.”

    *Then it’s a good thing you’re not asking.*

    “I’m not going to talk you out of this, am I?”

    Latias giggled, *Nope.*

    “Well then, welcome to the group. Let’s go tell everyone the good news.”

    Latias led him down to where the rest of his pokemon were. Xander was happy to see everyone, but especially Salamence. The two spent the next three weeks in recovery together, and made up for lost time. Xander knew his adventures weren’t over, and thought about travelling to Hoenn soon.

    ***Two Weeks Later in Professor Rowan’s House***

    Xander was in his room packing things up. He had decided that it was time to finally go to Hoenn. He wanted to see where Latias came from, and he himself needed a vacation badly. As he was putting things in his bag a glove fell out. This was the same glove that Wes had given him more than a month back, except, it looked different, more nondescript. “I’m sorry Wes, but I can’t destroy this, not yet,” Xander spoke to himself before putting it back in the bag and zipping it shut…

    Now ends Part 1. I will be getting Part 2 up next week.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  22. #47
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    This is a response via the Review Exchange. I'll be updating this chapter by chapter.

    Chapter 1: I thought the introduction to Xander was a bit rushed. I think that you should have probably started out with him losing in the Pokemon League, then trading Ursaring, and finally the scene in his room where he's depressed. But maybe that was in "The Journey of Xander." I wouldn't know. Another thing that bothered me a bit was that characters seemed to "warp" inside of places. For example, Xander was outside the police station, and then all of the sudden he was inside. I think it would be a bit better if you put a transition in between such as, "Xander walked inside the police station." Obviouly, that's overly simple, but you get the point.

    Now for the things that I like...
    I know that I'm going to love this story because of Xander's choice of Pokemon. All of the Pokemon mentioned are ones that I personally enjoy battling with. I think you've made good choices there. I also like the fact that Xander seems like he's going to be going on a shiny hunt. It will be interesting to see what happens with that. Also, a shiny Latias? That's awesome. With that scene, it really made me wonder what was going to happen? Will it be nursed to health by Xander? Will it become Xander's Pokemon? and more questions came to mind. Now for the police station scene. That was just... really funny! Jerry kind of reminds me of Officer Johnson from Pokemon Colosseum just for his sheer stupidity. And I love stupid humour!
    Overall, I think that this is very good so far, and I hope that I'll be able to review the whole thing today, because I have a lot more to say on this than I thought I would. Keep up the good writing!

    Chapter 2: I'll start again with the things that I didn't like. The whole "jailbreak" thing was something that I didn't really understand. First off, Pokemon using attacks on humans is something that I don't like. Might as well be evil if they do that. And also, after they broke out, I would have expected some to run away from Xander. Sure, he just saved them, but I would have thought that they would be afraid of all humans after what they had just experienced. Also, I find it a bit hard to believe that 12 Pokemon would just join him because of that. I would have thought many would have liked to remain wild.

    Now for things I like. Once again, the choice of Pokemon was sublime! Dragon Pokemon are my favorite type, and I was happy to see many in this chapter. Salamence, Dragonite, Haxorus, Garchomp, Hydreigon, and Latias? Once again, that's just awesome. I also like that some of the new Pokemon aren't accepted right away. Everyone always seems to get along fine within the Pokemon team, and it's nice to see a change from that. Also, I wasn't even thinking about Latias' brother, Latios. Where will he fit into the story? I'll be excited to find out. Overall, another good chapter. I just think that you have to keep a sense of "realism" if that's possible in the Pokemon world.

    Chapter 3: Wow. There was nothing that I disliked about this chapter. Great job! The biggest thing that I like is the tie to Pokemon Colosseum. Thank you. Just, thank you so much. Brings back old memories of Gonzap and his eyebrows, Trudly and Folly's stupidity, Wes and Rui (but mostly Wes) taking down Team Snagem and Cipher... But enough with the nostalgia. This was a completely unexpected twist in the plot. What's even better is that you made it flow well. Not choppy, like the last two chapters. You've definitely improved in that sense. I'll be interested to read this even more because I'm reading a Pokemon Colosseum fan fic at the same time as this! Great job!

    Chapter 4: Okay. To start off, good chapter. Less grammar mistakes each time. The only one I noticed was a "me" instead of a "my." Also, it may because I haven't read the other Xander stories, but who is Raj? Is he a character that I forgot about from Colosseum? I didn't get that part at all. Also, the cliff hanger at the end... I think it is obvious what's going to happen in the next chapter, but maybe another plot twist is coming/

    Now for the good stuff. I liked both of the Latios battles a lot. Something about the way that you describe the battles just... works. I don't know what it is, but keep doing it! Also, good job being able to describe a Psychic "link" between Latios and Latias. The chapter was well executed, and it's flowing even better each time there's a new chapter. Once again, keep up the good writing!

    Also, I will continue to read this thread, but I will stop reviewing for now until I get caught up all the way. I've enjoyed doing a review swap with you, and maybe we could do one again? I just didn't want to waste your time with an extremely long post basically saying the same thing every time. "Less grammar mistakes, flows better, I like this scene..." Yada yada yada. You're a good writer. You don't really need my input. But I'll comment once I'm caught up with the storyline.
    Last edited by Phoopes; 16th July 2011 at 6:08 PM.
    Hi, I'm part of the staff on Pokemon Showdown!, if you have any questions or need any help, VM or PM me.

  23. #48
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    Thanks for the review! Yeah, the first three chapters are a bit choppy, and that was something I worked really hard on later. I'm also a fan of pokemon colosseum, and was reading bobandbill's fic about it at the time of writing, and just incorporated it. I didn't include Xander losing at the league because it was the alst thing that happened in the Journey of Xander. Same with the trade and stuff.

    Raj is one of the leaders in our league, and is writing his own story: The Journeymen. Perhaps I should start introducing the characters a bit more when they are from other stories. Thanks for pointing that out to me, and for the other complements. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story, and would be happy to do another exchange with you.
    Last edited by Xman96; 16th July 2011 at 6:18 PM.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

  24. #49
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    [QUOTE=Xman96;12989774] I didn't include Xander losing at the league because it was the alst thing that happened in the Journey of Xander. Same with the trade and stuff.

    Raj is one of the leaders in our league, and is writing his own story: The Journeymen.[QUOTE]

    Okay, thank you for explaining that to me. I was quite confused. Now I guess I'll have check out the other Xander stories too.
    Hi, I'm part of the staff on Pokemon Showdown!, if you have any questions or need any help, VM or PM me.

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    [QUOTE=phoopes;12990237][QUOTE=Xman96;12989774] I didn't include Xander losing at the league because it was the alst thing that happened in the Journey of Xander. Same with the trade and stuff.

    Raj is one of the leaders in our league, and is writing his own story: The Journeymen.

    Okay, thank you for explaining that to me. I was quite confused. Now I guess I'll have check out the other Xander stories too.
    Not all of them feature Xander. This is more about the gym leaders in our league. The first one that you should read if you want an intro to everyone is Feralninja's League of Heroes. He starated all of this. We used to all be part of a social group, and then we all began writing stories about our characters that were in the League of Heroes. All of the stories are part of the same continuity, and are all excellent.
    3DS FC:0533-4900-6084

    Before you criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away, and you have thier shoes.

    Shiny Expert: Xander
    After Xander loses the Unova League, he gets a mysterious call from Prof. Rowan saying that he must come back and see what he's found. Xander has no idea what's in store for him.

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