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Thread: Barriers of a Broken Soul [PG-13]

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011

    Default Barriers of a Broken Soul [PG-13]

    This is completely original, and not based on any form of media. The rating is PG-13, mostly for exploration of mature themes such as perfection, suicide, getting over traumas, and deeper philosophical things which come up later. There is minor swearing, and some subject matter may prove disturbing.


    Chapter 1

    I give up.

    I can't do this anymore.

    This is the end.

    There's nothing left for me to do.

    I am broken, defeated, ruined.

    The barriers of my soul have been compromised.

    I have lost a vital part of my self.

    I am no longer me.

    Who is me?

    Who am I?

    I don't know anymore.

    I don't know anything anymore.




    I'm so sorry.


    "Where am I?"

    He sat up and looked around, and immediately regretted it as a wave of nausea passed through him.

    Swallowing it, he looked around. He saw whitewashed walls, a tray, a small TV in the corner. Two doors were set in the walls. And there, a brown-haired girl sitting down, her face displaying worry, staring at her feet.

    "Eris? What happened? What's going on?"

    "Kevin! Ohmigod! You're awake!"

    She jumped up and hugged him tightly, causing another wave of nausea to pass through him.

    "Eris...what's going on?"

    The look of worry returned to her face as she sat back down.

    "You're in the hospital. They thought you might not make it. You lost a lot of blood."

    "I lost...what?"

    "Blood. A lot of it." She gazed at him with a mixture of sadness and puzzlement. "You don't remember?"

    He looked down, struggling to remember. What happened last night?

    Just then, the door burst open, and an angry-looking guy stormed in. "Kevin! I can't believe you would do this! You promised me! You promised all of us!"

    "Holden!? What are you doing here!?" Kevin sat back up in surprise, again triggering the nausea that had been plaguing him.

    Holden grabbed Kevin firmly by the shoulders and shook him hard.
    "what do you mean what am I doing here!? That's something I should be asking you!"

    "He doesn't remember, Holden." Eris had stood up, and looked very sad for a moment. "You don' you, Kevin?"

    Kevin shook his head. "No...last night is like a dream. Every time I try to think about what happened, it just runs away."

    "well...maybe you should look at your arms. You'll probably remember then." She motioned toward his arms, which had been hidden under his bedsheet.

    Kevin gulped, then slowly removed the sheet. "I don't see anything, Eris."

    "Turn them over."

    He did. What met his gaze shocked him. Several thin lines ran down both of his arms, looking as though they had just been sewn together. Realization hit him. "oh....I remember now."

    "About time, you stupid fool! I can't believe you forgot!" Holden looked annoyed. Somehow that didn't seem unusual.

    "Did I really...?" Kevin looked at Eris, hoping for a negative answer.

    Eris nodded. "Yes."
    "You tried to kill yourself last night."
    Last edited by Butterfly; 13th April 2011 at 7:50 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Where the light is


    Brief... too brief according to the forum rules I think; It wouln't hurt to check them just to be sure.

    It was the title what dragged me into this story. Now, I'll point out some mistakes i found. I'm no grammar geniousm but it should help though

    "Kevin! Ohmigod! You're awake!"
    Spaces between Oh, my and god.

    He looked down, struggling to remember. What happened last night?
    It would be: He looked down, struggling to remember. What happened last night? to outline the character's though from the rest of the text (also, you can use these ->"")

    I also noticed that you separated the text too much, like here:

    "Where am I?"

    He sat up and looked around, and immediately regretted it as a wave of nausea passed through him.

    Swallowing it, he looked around. He saw whitewashed walls, a tray, a small TV in the corner. Two doors were set in the walls. And there, a brown-haired girl sitting down, her face displaying worry, staring at her feet.
    All of that can fit nicely into one paragraph, using periods so often interrupts the flow of the text; so it would be kinda like this:

    "Where am I?" he sat up and looked around, and immediately regretted it as a wave of nausea passed through him. Swallowing it, he looked around and saw whitewashed walls, a tray, a small TV in the corner. Two doors were set in the walls. And there, a brown-haired girl sitting down, her face displaying worry, staring at her feet.

    As i said, I'm no grammar genious, but as far as my knowledge goes, that's all I can tell; apart from the usual typing error, so be sure to proofread your work.

    Also, you could use some extra description over there, I mean, Holden is only described as an angry looking guy, and I'm sure he's more than just an angry looking guy. Description estimulates the reader's imagination and keeps him interested. I reccomend you work on description on further chapters

    The plot you handle is interesting, your main character's suicide attempt should keep me reading this for a while.

    Thanks for your time, I look forward to the next chapter
    10th prestige Lv 55 Nightmare

    I still Like wafflezzzz...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2004


    Uh, sorry. I hate to nitpick another reviewer's review, but I need to clarify some things for both you and the author.

    Quote Originally Posted by RoflLuxRay
    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly
    "Kevin! Ohmigod! You're awake!"
    Spaces between Oh, my and god.
    "Ohmigod" is fine. It's the phonetic typing that indicates how something is said besides the speech tag. In this case, she slurred it together. (Same goes with words like nowadays, even though that's correct and "now and days" is actually wrong.) We tend to be more lax with spelling in dialogue because it illustrates HOW something is being said, even if it's grammatically incorrect.

    Quote Originally Posted by RoflLuxRay
    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly
    He looked down, struggling to remember. What happened last night?
    It would be: He looked down, struggling to remember. What happened last night? to outline the character's though from the rest of the text (also, you can use these ->"")
    Omitting "thought tags" is actually a well-known form of narrative called free indirect discourse. The way it's written now is fine. Likewise, you don't have to have italics to separate narrative from thought; some people think it makes it hard to read without italics; I think it makes the flow smoother and more personal without them. It's a personal choice than a rule written in stone in fan fiction. Likewise, if you read professional work, you might notice that very little people, if any, use italics to separate thought from narrative. But like I said, we're a little more flexible with this stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by RoflLuxRay
    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly
    "Where am I?"

    He sat up and looked around, and immediately regretted it as a wave of nausea passed through him.

    Swallowing it, he looked around. He saw whitewashed walls, a tray, a small TV in the corner. Two doors were set in the walls. And there, a brown-haired girl sitting down, her face displaying worry, staring at her feet.
    All of that can fit nicely into one paragraph, using periods so often interrupts the flow of the text; so it would be kinda like this:

    "Where am I?" he sat up and looked around, and immediately regretted it as a wave of nausea passed through him. Swallowing it, he looked around and saw whitewashed walls, a tray, a small TV in the corner. Two doors were set in the walls. And there, a brown-haired girl sitting down, her face displaying worry, staring at her feet.
    While I agree with you that Butterfly can combine a lot of his shorter paragraphs, make sure your examples aren't improperly capitalized. "He" in "He sat up" should be capitalized because it's a new sentence.

    Again, sorry, but I don't want false information to be passed on and taken as stone when most of these rules are quite flexible.

    By the way, if this is original fiction, this goes in non-pokemon fan fics.

    "what do you mean what am I doing here!? That's something I should be asking you!"

    "well...maybe you should look at your arms. You'll probably remember then." She motioned toward his arms, which had been hidden under his bedsheet.


    "oh....I remember now."
    Capitalize both "what" and "well" and "oh" here. From what I skimmed (and I apologize to you for not taking the time to read this, but I am in between classes and am late for one class as I type right now, haha), you seem to have a good handle on grammar.

    It's intriguing, certainly, but I felt like you were going into repetitive territory with the italics section of your story. I get that you were probably trying to stress Kevin's pain and anguish (or whatever) but repeating yourself is still repeating yourself. Sometimes keeping it simple, short, brings more stress to a point than repeating it three more times. And while I do like the vagueness of what's going on, a little more description wouldn't hurt; we're in virtually no setting (I assume a hospital) surrounded by people. Since this reads like a prologue of sorts, hopefully you spend more time detailing the next chapter. Remember to describe your characters (it doesn't have to be in one clump; you can slowly bleed it out (not to be punny or anything now) in small sections, like "She brushed the brown hair away from her eyes" or something).
    Last edited by Breezy; 21st March 2011 at 7:41 PM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Where the light is


    *Facepalms* Now this is why I only review plot and stuff... Thanks for the review on my review Breezy, helps me a lot on future stuff.

    Again, I'm no grammar genious
    10th prestige Lv 55 Nightmare

    I still Like wafflezzzz...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Thanks for your input, I'll keep all of that in mind. The setting is meant to be rather vague to leave a lot to the reader's imagination. Also, to be honest, I already have a lot written, but I will keep these things in mind when writing more. I may go back and edit things later. Also, I meant to put this in the non-pokemon section, I'm not really sure what happened. It'd be great if it could get moved.

    "I still don't understand, though." Kevin shook his head, and put his hand on his forehead. "Thinking about it just gives me a headache."

    Eris looked at her feet. "You don't remember anything?" She had an expression that Kevin couldn't quite make out.

    "No. I don't. I know that I've been depress for the last few months, but I can't remember why. And I can't remember what made me....." His voice trailed off.

    "Do we need to spell it out for you, man? You had major girl problems. Pretty stupid reason for an attempted suicide if you ask me, pal." Holden looked as though he was getting frustrated.


    In the blink of an eye, Eris had gotten up and smacked Holden with all of her strength. Looking at her face, Kevin understood what the expression on her face had been.

    A single tear fell from her eye.

    "You don't understand anything, Holden! Be nice for once! You don't even know what happened!"

    "Well, then since you know everything so well, why don't you tell him exactly whose fault it was that he got so depressed?" Holden said, rubbing his cheek.

    "I....dammit." Angry and sad, Eris again looked at her feet.

    "Well? We're waiting, Eris." Holden said with a sneer.

    "Please, Eris. Tell me." Kevin looked at her pleadingly.

    Eris remained silent, shaking her head.

    "Eris, please. I need to know what's going on. It's important. Don't you care about me?"

    Eris looked up, shocked. A single tear again rolled down her face. Something Kevin said seemed to have startled her. " was me, Kevin. You killed yourself because of me."


    The final bell rang, meaning everybody had to be out of the school. People shuffled in and out of view, like lemmings over a cliff. People got in their cars, and drove off. Some walked, enjoying the light rain that was falling, while others ran straight to their cars, hoping not to get too wet.

    "Eris, I don't understand. Why didn't you just tell me before?"
    Kevin was on the edge of tears. "Why couldn't you just tell me the truth?"

    "I have been telling you the truth, Kevin! You just haven't been listening! You never listen to anyone, you just sit there sulking all the time!" Eris was getting angry, and her voice started to raise. Her voice echoed off of the walls in the back corner of the yard they stood in.

    "But I always listen to you! That, I'm always sure of! Everything you've ever said, I remember! Which is why I'd make a good boyfriend, not that it matters now!" Kevin's voice raised to match Eris's.

    "Kevin, I'm sorry that you misinterpreted everything. I would love to be friends with you, because you are a really good friend, but that's all we're going to be. I'm sorry if I made you think differently." Eris had calmed down, and was trying to comfort Kevin, but it had the opposite effect.

    The rain fell harder than ever, running down Kevin's face so it was impossible tot ell the tears from the rain. "You said you loved me! Why would you say that it you didn't mean it!?"

    "I meant as a friend, Kevin! I say that to all my friends!"

    Kevin sobbed, and turned away. " I can't believe you'd do this to me. I really thought you liked me." He started to walk away.

    "Kevin, wait! I really didn't mean to hurt you!" Eris started to panic, and ran at him.

    Suddenly, a great pain filled Kevin, and he turned around and pushed Eris back. "Don't you care about me!?" He screamed at her, and ran off, his silhouette quickly vanishing in the rain.

    On the ground, dazed, Eris looked after him, and wished she hadn't worn all that eyeliner this morning as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2011


    Oooooh! It sounds really good! I like your style! But you're in the wrong sec. You could ask a moderator to move you...
    Last edited by black_cat96; 1st April 2011 at 2:35 PM.
    The lost story...

    Chapter one is finally out!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2011


    Not bad. :3

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 3

    "I remember now."

    The white walls of the hospital felt more confining than ever as Kevin fell back, dazed. "I remember what happened. You rejected me. After all I did for you, you rejected me."

    Another tear fell from Eris's eye, and she looked down. "I didn't know how you felt...if only I had known, this might not have happened....I'm so sorry, Kevin!" Another tear ran down her cheek.

    "About time you remembered, bud. Pretty stupid reason to try and kill yourself, huh? " Holden scoffed at him. "I don't know why I call you my best friend. You can be so dense sometimes."

    Kevin laughed. "Yeah, well you're denser than lead, Holden."

    "Ooh, you don't scare me with your science jokes. I'm not stupid, man!" Holden grinned. "I'm glad you're okay, though. We were all worried for a while there."

    "Wait, all? You mean you and Eris?" Kevin looked up quizzically. "I seem to remember someone else."

    "Yeah, Sarah has been calling me constantly for the last day or two, asking for updates and stuff. I just started to ignore her, to be honest." He grinned again.

    "Sarah...oh, right. She probably freaked out, didn't she? After all, she was the one who really tried to help me..." Kevin blinked, and thought back to the previous night. "I must have passed out at the last's almost like I didn't really want to do it." The more he thought about it, the clearer it was..

    "Sarah was the one who really saved me, I think."


    "Man, I can't believe those guys. They went into the park without me!"

    Kevin was sitting on the bus with Holden and some other people, and had just realized that his group had stayed gone a little too long. "I knew I should have been suspicious when they all had to go to the bathroom at once." Kevin bit his lip. "What am I going to do now? I can't just wander the park alone. This school trip sucks."

    "They must have thought you were too depressing, man!" Holden chuckled to himself, as thoguh he had just made a great joke. "Don't sweat it though, bro. You can come with our group. Is that alright, Sarah?"

    Kevin looked to the seat next to Holden. There was a blonde girl, dressed in clothing that matched perfectly and looking out the window excitedly. "Sure, Holden! The more the better! This'll be really fun!" She climbed over Holden and jumped into the aisle. "We haven't been properly introduced yet! I'm Sarah!" She held out her hand, a little too close to Kevin's face for his liking. "I'm, uh, Kevin. Nice to meet you?"

    "Is that a question or a statement?" She giggled and jumped up. "Okay, let's go! It's the warmest day of the week, and Florida is just waiting for us!" She ran off the bus. Kevin gave Holden a questioning look.

    "..Hey man, she's hot, alright? Not...that I care much, anyway." Holden blushed and looked at something on the ceiling. "Uh-huh. Okay. Sure. We should probably follow her before she gets lost." Kevin snickered to himself, and they got off the bus, following Sarah into the amusement park.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2011


    Your though is spelt wrong in paragraph 11.

    Its developing nicely ~
    The lost story...

    Chapter one is finally out!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 4

    On his way out of the hospital, Kevin's phone buzzed. He looked at it and saw "48 Missed Calls." He sighed, and waas about to put it away as it buzzed again. Looking at the screen, he saw Sarah's name appear.


    "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Kevin held the phone away from his ear for a second, wondering if the damage was going to be permanent.

    "Yeah, I'm alive. I just got out of the hospital. I'm on my way home, actually."

    "I'm so glad you're alive! I really don't know what I'd do without you! You're like, my best friend in the world!"

    Kevin sighed and replied, "You're my best friend too, Sarah. But I'm sure you'd be fine without me."

    "I'm pretty sure I would have gone crazy! You were there to help me through my relationship with that stupid Holden, and you made me feel better when he broke up with me!"

    "Uhm, didn't you break up with him?"

    "Oh, yeah. Well, it's not important. I still wouldn't have been able to do it without your help! You should really come over here, I need to see if you're still in one piece!"

    "Well, I guess I don't have much better to do. I'll be over in about 15 minutes, okay?"

    Kevin winced in reaction to what could only be described as a high-pitched squeal. "Yaaaaay! I'm so excited to see you! Bye, best-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world!"

    "Bye, Sarah." He closed his phone, and walked toward his car. He was about to open the door when he felt a hand place itself firmly on his shoulder.

    "Oh no you don't! There is no way you're driving yourself home in your condition, mister!" Kevin turned around, and Eris was standing there with his keys in her hand.

    Kevin immediately reached into his pockets.

    "Don't bother looking, silly, I have them right here." Eris thrust the keys toward his face. "Are you sure you really want to go to Sarah's?"

    As he got in the passenger seat, Kevin replied, "Yeah. I mean, she's my best friend. I think she wants to make sure I'm okay."

    Eris had a look of mild disgust on her face. "Best friend, huh? I guess I really don't deserve that title, considering what I did to you. Y'know, Kev, I really don't like her. There's something about her that just bugs me."

    "Oh, is somebody getting jealous now? Well now you know how I feel." Kevin crossed his arms in a pout.

    "Oh, shut up, it's not even the same thing. Do you want me to drive you or not?"

    "I could care less, honestly. Do whatever you want." Kevin looked out his window.

    "Maybe you should consider being nice for once. But fine, since I care about you....give me directions."

    They were silent the rest of the ride, and Kevin got out at the end without a word. Eris looked at him, wondering if he was okay, and felt a mixture of regret and anger as she drove away.


    "So you're saying that I actually saved you!?"
    Sarah looked at him with a look of excitement.

    "Yeah, I think so. If you hadn't tried so hard to stop me, I might have actually succeeded." Kevin looked at her, feeling grateful.

    Her house was normally-sized, and he sat on a tan couch next to her as the tv mumbled nearby.

    "Let's not talk about it too much though, I don't want my mom to know about it. If she knew what you did, she'd never let us be friends!"

    Kevin nodded in agreement. "Alright. Let's never speak of it again."

    "Oooooh I looove this movie!" Sarah was looking joyously at the TV, where some silly romantic comedy was playing. "I just think it is so cute how the two best friends are actually in love with each other the whole time! Isn't that just fantastic?"

    "Fantastic isn't the word I'd use, but sure." Kevin replied, with the faintest hint of sarcasm.

    "It's just like in some of the books that I read. I really wish life could be like a movie, or a book. Don't you ever wish that, Kevin?"

    "Honestly? Not really." Kevin shook his head. "I may not be satisfied with my life, but books and movies just feel so...fake. I like it the way it is."

    "Well, I certainly would love it! I think life needs some excitement, don't you? Some drama, some romance? Honestly, I really think life is like a storybook of its own." Sarah giggled. "Your sarcasm is cute, though."

    Kevin blushed and looked at the hanging light. "I wouldn't describe myself as cute."

    "Well, you are, so get over it."

    Kevin thought it over, and said "Y'know, I actually wouldn't mind some things happening like a storybook. Like a romance. Things just never work out for me romantically."

    "Yeah, me too! I wish I could have a perfect boyfriend, one who would know everything about me and treat me like a princess." She stared pointedly at Kevin.

    Kevin blushed more, and looked away. "I think I should probably be going now. I should get home for dinner."

    "Okay! I'll call you later to check up on you, okay?" Sarah walked him to the door. "Do you want a ride home?"

    "No, I think I'll walk. It isn't far. Thanks though." Kevin stepped outside into the chilly winter air.

    "Be safe."

    "I will."

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Short one tonight. By the way, I have many more written; I'm just posting them here at regular intervals. I originally had the chapters be shorter, so each chapter here is basically 2 of the original ones. If you really want to read more, there's a website link in my signature. For now I'll just post one chapter per night though.

    Chapter 5

    I guess I really tried to kill myself.

    Am I that upset over losing Eris?

    Well, whatever. It doesn't matter.

    She lied to me.

    But I have a better friend now.

    She's like an angel, who came down specifically to help me.

    I'm not religious, but why can't I have my own angel?

    I hope that Sarah and I stay friends forever.

    She's like the perfect friend.

    She'll always be there for me, and I'll always be there for her.

    Why is there a tear rolling down my cheek?


    The barriers between you and her have weakened.

    Your friendship has quickly become stronger.

    Soon, you will penetrate all of the barriers.

    Then you will become one.

    You will have a great intimacy, at the risk of great pain.

    Such is the dilemma of the hedgehog.
    Last edited by Butterfly; 5th April 2011 at 8:30 AM.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 6

    "Yeah, man! But promise you won't tell anybody about that, alright!?" Holden was almost impossible to understand with the sandwich jammed into his mouth.

    "Yeah, I got it. You guys only kissed after your were dating. No ferris wheel incident." Kevin rolled his eyes.

    "That's right! Man, I always thought we were the perfect couple. I guess she didn't think so, though. 6 months, though, man. It was 6 months. It's gonna be rough. How's she been?" Holden looked more serious than usual.

    "She's...been good." Kevin avoided the implied question and looked at the light above his head.

    "Good, huh? Is that right?" Holden looked a little annoyed. "I get it, dude. I knwow hat's going on, and it's fine. I don't mind. I want to give you a warning, though." Holden looked moe serious than ever before.

    "A...warning? I don't know what you're talking abou-"


    Holden smashed his hands into the table. "Don't play dumb, Kevin. It doesn't suit you. I just want to warn you that she's not all she seems. If you give her any reason, she WILL stab you in the back."

    "Holden...I think you're just upset. It's only been a few weeks."

    "Fine. Think what you want. But I'm telling you, man, be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt."

    Kevin rolled his eyes again. "Right. Sure. Thanks for the tip, bor." He stood up. "I should get going. I need to get home soon. Lots of stuff to do, y'know."

    Holden sighed. "Fine, don't listen to me. You'll be sorry though. Stay warm out there, it's a cold night."

    Kevin walked out without a word.


    "So tell me more. What happened between you and her?"
    Sarah was laying on the couch, with her leg up on Kevin's lap.
    "And be careful, I'm getting surgery on my knee soon. Thanks for letting me stretch it out." She giggled a little bit.

    Kevin blushed a bit. "Well, basically I just liked her and she just pretended I didn't exist. WHen I told her, she acted all surprised, but I know she knew. I gave her a stupid teddy bear, how do you not notice something like that?"

    "Well, she's probably just an airhead. Not your type anyway. So screw her, you can make new friends! You have me, after all!" Her eyes glistened a little bit. "All you need is a perfect best friend, right?"

    "...Right. But it still hurts. It's been less than a month, and I'm still feeling it." Kevin sighed. "Why can't romantic stuff ever work out well for me?"

    "I know how you feel. I mean, you know what happened with Holden. And it was the same with my last two boyfriends, too! Nothing ever works out well for me either." Sarah sighed a heavy sigh and looked at Kevin. "I really wish I could find the perfect guy, y'know? One who really understands me."

    "Yeah, I know how you feel. You want your lover to be your best friend."

    There was an awkward silence.

    "Oh, so my surgery is on Wednesday. Do you mind coming with me? I could really use my best friend's support." Sarah looked at him like a puppy.

    "Well.....I don't know, I'm kind of busy. I told Eris we'd meet up on Wednesday..." Kevin looked down, and rubbed his chin with doubt.

    "Please? Come on Kevin, I really need you there. Don't you care about me?"

    Kevin took in a quick breath and jolted up, looking at Sarah with an intense gaze.

    "....What? Did I say something wrong?" Sarah looked a bit afraid.

    Kevin returned to himself. ", sorry. Just..a memory.'

    That rainy day flashed through his mind again. Would he ever be able to get over that day?

    "Come on, Kevin. It would make me realy happy!" Sarah gave him the puppy dog-eye treatment again. "Eris can wait. Besides, she deserves it for what she did to you."

    Kevin looked away for a second. "'re right. She does deserve it. I'll go with you."

    "Yaaay! Thanks, Kevin! You're amazing!" She sat up and hugged him tightly. "So it's a date. Wednesday afternoon!"

    " Well...if you say so." Kevin looked unsure for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. Wednesday. Okay."

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 7

    "Man, I can't believe this week. This is gonna suck!" Holden was complaining as usual.

    "Yeah, having Wednesday off kind of blows. I mean, it's like we show up for two days, then we get a break, but then they expect us to come back." Kevin shook his head. "Idiots."

    "Bet you ten dollars that nobody shows up on Thursday or Friday."
    Holden had a sly grin on his face.

    "I could win that bet without trying! You wouldn't have a clue who came, since you're not going to be here anyway!" Kevin grinned back at Holden.

    "Hey! ....That's a good point, actually. Bet's off." Holden looked mildly annoyed, then grinned and walked away.

    "Excuse me, Kevin...I need your help with smoething." An unfamiliar voice. Kevin turned around to see a short girl with fire-red hair.

    "Oh, hey Ayala. Sure, what do you need help with?"

    "Just some of this math homework. I dont't quite understand it."

    "Oh, sure. Here's how it works...." Kevin started to show her the basics of algebra.

    "Oh good, looks like Kevin has made yet another new friend. Ugh. I can't believe that boy." Eris raged to an uninterested Holden.

    "Nah, man. They aren't that close. The're just math buddies, after all. Besides, I know Kevin still cares about you. He's just miffed at you is all. He'll come around."

    "I hope so, Holden. I don't like the way he's been acting ever since he started hanging around that Sarah girl." Eris looked as though she might throw up.

    "She has this weird effect on guys. It happened to me, it'll probably happen to him too. I know he has feelings for her." Holden looked down. "He's been mean to me, too. I hope he doesn't have the same problems I did."

    "Are you okay, Kevin? You've looked really out of it since lastt week." Ayala looked concerned. "It was like, you looked super depressed for a while, but now you're almost glowing. What's been going on?"

    "Oh...not much, really. I can tell you about it later if you like, since we have lunch together." Kevin gave her a small smile.

    "That'd be cool. I'd love to hear about it." Ayala smiled brightly at him. "So we'll discuss it at lunch."


    "Wow, that's all really sad. I can't believe that all happened to you. And in so short a time. I'm glad everything's getting better now, though." Ayala gave him the same smile she did earlier.

    "Yeah, it's been rough. I'm doing better, though. Slowly but surely, Sarah is helping me get out of this depression. Suicide is the farthest thing from my mind." Kevin smiled at her.

    "So are you two dating, or what?" She gave him a knowing grin.

    "Dating? Uh...we, uh, nope. Just friends...uh, why would you think, uh, that?" Kevin started to sweat a little and looked at a very important spot on his plate.

    "Oh, just the way you talk about her. Sounds like someone's starting to fall in love!" Ayala looked positively gleeful.

    "Love?! I am not falling in love. Okay, I admit it. I like her. But I don't think we'll date. She's my best friend. I don't think it woudl be smart. I've seen what happens to close friends when they date." Kevin looked unsure.

    "Aha! I knew it! Silly boy, I knew you weren't in love. Not yet anyway. I think you shoud try it. If you're really as close to her and as good a friend as you say, you'll be fine, I'm sure."

    "Yeah...maybe it's worth thinking about. I dunno. I'll see if she brings it up first." Kevin looked more unsure still.

    "I get it. You're still scared after what Eris did to you. Well, it's alright. Just wait however long you need to, then go for it." Ayala grinned.

    "Yeah, you're right. It'd probably help me move on, anyway. I need to stop being so down." A bell rang. "Oh, looks like lunch is over. Kevin stood up. "Ayala...thank you for talking to me. It's good to have someone I can talk to about Sarah, since...well, you know."

    "Oh, of course! Anytime. I'm always happy to help! Here, let me give you my number. Then you can call me or text me anytime you need anything, okay?" Ayala smiled. "I'll probably see you after school, but if not, see you in math!" She almost skipped away.

    "Yeah...see you." Kevin hesitated a moment, then walked on to his class.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    So what do you guys think so far?

    Chapter 8

    "Are you nervous at all" Kevin looked down at a tense-looking Sarah laying in the hospital bed.

    "Hmm...only a little. It's just a minor surgery, not like it's a big deal. Besides, you're here with me. Doesn't get much better than that!" She giggled.

    "Well, I guess I'll be with you the whole time.' Kevin nodded at the multicolored bear she was holding.

    "Yep! I'm so glad you got me this. It makes a great Christmas present, even if it is still early. I wonder if they'll let me take it in with me?" She grinned widely.

    "I guess we'll find out. It looks like the doctor is coming over."
    Kevin looked down the hallway.

    "Hello there, Sarah. Are you ready to go back?" The doctor gave her a calming smile.

    "Yes, of course. it okay if I take this with me?" She gestured to the bear.

    "Well....I guess it wouldn't hurt anything. Sure, why not? Alright, let's get going." The doctor rolled her bed into the back room.

    An hour later, the doctor came into the waiting room.

    "Sarah is all done, and she's awake, if you would like to see her. This way, please."

    The doctor led them back into the hospital room.

    "KEVIN!!! Look what they did to my bear!!!" Kevin was greeted by a scream from Sarah.

    "Please, we need you to keep it down, there are patients sleeping..." The doctor looked exasperated.

    Kevin looked at the bear and had to supress a laugh.

    It was wearing a hospital gown, and had a bandage over its right knee, the same one Sarah just got operated on.

    "I don't see the problem, I think it's-"

    "ISN'T IT ADORABLE!?" Sarah interupted him with yet another scream, causing the doctor to reel back and put his head in his hands.

    " is." Kevin chuckled, and looked up at Sarah.

    She looked genuinely happy, not the fake laughing he'd seen her display. The last thing he noticed before they left was the heart rate graph.

    Every time Sarah looked at him, it spiked.


    The barriers between your and her souls have nearly been breached.

    You will soon be as close to her as you can be.

    She is healing your soul.

    You are beginning to get closer to the Truth.

    Soon you will understand everything.

    Then you will understand yourself.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 9

    Kevin awoke to a loud beeping noise, coming from his phone. "What a weird dream..." Rubbing his eyes, he looked at the screen. "Who could possibly be....Eris?" He picked up the phone.

    "How dare you stand me up, you jerk?!" He didn't have a chance to say hello before Eris's voice pierced his inner ear. "I thought we were going to hang out? Where the hell WERE you?! I waited for an hour and you stopped answering your phone!"

    "Eris...I'm so sorry, I was in the hospital, they don't allow phones to be used in there." Kevin looked at the clock. To his surprise, it was only midnight.

    "THE HOSPITAL!? What!? Why!? Did you...oh, I am going to KILL you!"

    Kevin coudln't figure out why she was so angry for a moment, then realized. "Oh, no, sorry. Not for me. For Sarah. I went with her for her knee surgery."

    "Oh, thank god, you scared me. I see now. And this was more important to you than spending time with your best friend?"

    "...I'm sorry, Eris. I really needed to be there for her."

    "But what about me? You promised me you'd be there! Don't you care about me anymore?"

    Kevin sat in silence.

    "Hello? Kevin? Come on, I can't believe you would just blow off your best friend like that."

    ".....I didn't. I spent all day with my best friend today. Goodbye, Eris."

    "Kevin! Don't you hang up on me!"

    Kevin put down his phone, and laid back in bed. He fell asleep soon afterwards.


    A connection is being tried.

    Soon it may break, if not given the proper care.

    If you continue to act this way, doubtless the integrity of your soul will revert.

    Do not underestimate the ability of a close friend to break the soul.

    I suggest you mend the rift you have created.

    If you do not, the consequences may be dire indeed.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 10

    "I dunno, I just keep having these weird dreams." Kevin shook his head, and shoved more burger into his mouth.

    "Well, what are they like?" Ayala looked at him quizzically while munching on a fry.

    "I can't remember too well...but it's like...a voice. Talking to me. Crap, I really am going crazy, aren't I? Kevin put his head in his hands.

    "No, I think I know what this is. There are stories that say we have another side, a voie that helps us with our lives. Maybe that's what it is. Whatever it's saying, you sould probably listen." Ayala looked certain.

    "I would, but I can't ever remember what it said. Maybe it'll just stop." Kevin chomped on his burger again.

    "I guess we'll see. Keep me updated, alright?" Ayala smiled at him. "Oh, crap. My mom's gonna be home soon, and she doesn't know I'm here. I should go home. Can I bum a ride from you?"

    "Sure. But why doesn't your mom know you're here?"

    "Well, she's just really stupid and controlling and stuff. She doesn't let me go places. Especially not with a boy."

    They got in the car and drove to her house.

    "Thanks for the ride! You're a great friend!" Ayala smiled, and got out.

    "You're a great friend, too. Thanks for listening to my insane rants."

    "Anytime! Get out here so I can give you a hug."

    Kevin got out, and she gave him a friendly hug. "See you tomorrow!"

    "Bye, Good luck with the mom thing..." Kevin got back into the car, and drove back home.


    "That is just such a fantastic movie, don't you think?"
    Sarah had her newly bandaged knee up on top of Kevin, who was absentmindedly massaging it. "I love how the best friends get married at the end."

    "Yeah, it's pretty neat. How's your knee?" Kevin changed the subject.

    "It's great! It's stopped hurting a lot, probably thanks to your massage." Sarah giggled. "You know....I wish real life was like that movie."

    "Yeah... I kind of do too." Kevin blushed, and looked down.
    "But stuff like that never happens in real life."

    " could, you know." Sarah smiled at him.

    "It...could? Are you sure?" Kevin looked at her, already knowing the answer.

    "Yeah. I like you, after all. If you hadn't figured it out already." Sarah giggled again.

    "I like you too, like a lot. You've helped me so much."

    "Well....then we could try it, I think."

    "Yeah. So, Sarah....will you be my girlfriend?"

    "Of course I will, silly!" She grinned a huge grin.

    Kevin looked at her. She was so beautiful, and so happy. He couldn't resist her. On a whim, he leaned over, and touched his lips to hers.

    After a moment, he pulled back. "Wow..."

    "Woah....did you feel that? It was like butterflies!"

    "Yeah...really tingly. I think I liked it."

    "I did too! ...wanna try it again?" She had a sly grin on her face.

    They remained like that for the rest of the afternoon.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 11

    "So, you two are finally dating, eh? Good for you, man!"
    Holden looked surprisingly happy, considering he had just been broken up with only a month prior.

    "Yeah. I can't believe it's really happening, to be honest." Kevin couldn't stop smiling.

    "Just remember what I told you, bud."

    "Yeah, yeah, I know, I know..."

    "I'm serious, man. I don't want to see you get hurt." Holden had a surprisingly dark look on his face.

    "Yeah, yeah, I know. We talked about this already, Holden. I know what I'm doing."

    "No, you don't. So shut the hell up and listen to me for a second. You don't have a clue what you're getting into. All I'm saying, is to be careful. I'm not kidding around right now." His whole demeanoer had changed. He seemed darker and angrier than usual.

    "...Are you okay, Holden?" Kevin looked concerned.

    "Promise me."

    Kevin looked confused. "Uh, what?"

    "Promise me two things." Holden looked more intense than ever.


    "And you need to MEAN it this time, Kevin, or I swear I'll kill you."

    "Yeah, yeah, let's hear it already."

    "Dammit, Kevin! I'm not just joking around here! Promise me that one: you will be careful about Sarah, and two: that you will never try to kill yourself or hurt yourself again."

    "Yeah, yeah, I..." Kevin's sentence trailed off as he looked into Holden's eyes. He'd never seen them become so intense. "I promise."

    "Thank you." Holden sat back. "Well, now that that's over, let's finish our sandwiches, man! You gonna eat those chips?" Without waiting for an answer, Holden grabbed them and started shoving handfuls of them into his mouth.

    Without a warning, he had gone back to normal.


    You have penetrated the final barrier.

    Your souls lie together now.

    They are now as close as most people's can get.

    Enjoy the intimacy while you have it, for intimacy is only asking to be harmed.

    Did you notice?

    He was not himself today.

    It seems even the carefree Holden has a wall.

    But then, everyone has a wall.

    The only difference is what that wall is.

    You have begun the first stage of your rebirth.

    You have much growing to do, yet you have already grown much.

    What kind of quickening lies in your future?


  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2011



    Chapter 12

    "So is it okay if we keep this a secret for now? It's not like I'm ashamed or anything, I just would rather people not get all in our business. Y'know?" Sarah looked at him quizzically.

    "Yeah. I understand completely. We'll just go slow. No reason people need to know our business." Kevin nodded.

    "Right! So just don't tell anyone for now, alright?"

    "About that, person knows already."

    "What!? Who could you possibly have told already!?" Sarah looked annoyed.

    "Don't be mad! It's just Holden, and he figured it out. I didn't tell him." Kevin put his hands up in defense.

    "Hey, you watch where you're putting those hands, mister." She gave him yet another sly grin as he blushed and put his hands down. "I'm going to rip that boy a new one, though. He better not tell anyone anything!"

    "I'm sure he won't. It's not his style."

    "What do you mean it's not his style!? That jerk is a loudmouth. He'd say anything to get into a girl's pants." She snickered.

    "That may be true, but still. I'll ask him about it tomorrow, alright?"

    "Okay, deal! Besides, who is he gonna tell? It's break now, he won't have anyone to talk to."

    "Implying that nobody likes him."

    "Hey, I'm just stating the obvious." Sarah giggled.

    Kevin was starting to feel uncomfortable, so he changed he subject. "So..what did you ask for for Christmas?"

    " I don't ask for stuff for Christmas. I know my mommy knows me super well, so I trust her to get me stuff I'll love. And she always does! How about you?"

    "Oh, not much, just y'know, a new tv, and a PS3..."

    "Boy, are you greedy! That's okay though, because you're allmine anyway!" She giggled.

    Kevin laughed. "Y'know, I think this is the best present I could have asked for."

    "Me too! This is the best Christmas ever!" She giggled again, and looked up. "Oh, would you look at that?"

    "At what....oh." He looked up and saw mistletoe hanging from the ceiling.

    "You know what that means, you silly boy!"


    His phone buzzed yet again. "Man, it's midnight. When is she going to stop calling me?" Kevin looked at his phone. The name "ERIS" was displayed on the screen. "Might as well answer it, I guess."


    "Hey, you answered! Why haven't you been picking up your phone!?" She sounded tired. "I've been needing to talk to you!"

    "I'm sorry, I've just been really busy, y'know?"

    "Making out with your new girlfriend, amiright?" She had a mocking tone. Kevin wasn't sure if it was serious or joking.

    "Yeah, I...wait a second. How did you know about that!?"

    "Holden told me, duh. That boy is such a loudmouth. He'd do anything to get in a girl's pants. All I had to do was ask him reeeally nicely!" She laughed.

    "I...I see. Ugh. I'm going to kill him! Can I call you back later, Eris?"

    "Yeah, sure. Actually, let's have lunch tomorrow. That'll work better."

    "Alright, sounds good."

    "And Kevin? Please don't blow me off again."

    "I...I'm sorry, Eris, I..." Kevin fumbled his words.

    "It's okay. I understand. Just don't do it again, okay I'll see you at lunch tomorrow."


    "I love you, Kevin."

    "...Bye, Eris." He hung up the phone.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 13

    "So how has it been so far? Does it feel different?" Eris sipped her soda as they talked.

    "To be honest, not really. I don't think it's really hit me yet. But I am super happy." Kevin grinned.

    "Super happy, huh? I haven't heard you say "super" before. You really are changing." Eris looked him in the eyes. "I just hope it's for the better."

    "Oh, it definitely is. Sarah has been helping me with so much. With her help, I think I'm going to finally get past this depression." Kevin smiled.

    "Well, I am happy for you, and honestly glad you got over me." She looked down. "I think our friendship suffered a lot because of what happened. I'm glad you've moved on."

    "Yeah. I think we make great friends, though! You're fun to be around, and stuff." Kevin laughed.

    "Oh, is that all I am to you?" Eris grinned.

    They both laughed for a moment.

    "In all seriousness, Kevin, I want to thank you."

    "Thank me? What for?" He looked puzzled.

    "For being here. For not blowing me off. It really means a lot to me. So thank you." She smiled at him.

    "'s nothing, I guess. I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you." He looked a bit sad. "I'm not really sure why that happened."

    "Well, I should be getting home now. Can I bum a ride?'

    "Sure, why not? It's far to walk."

    "Thanks, Kevin. I'm glad that we're back to being best friends again." She smiled, wider than she had all afternoon.

    "....yeah. Yeah, that's good. Let's get going." Kevin walked to the car.

    Eris looked sad for a moment, then followed him.


    "I love this park. It's been my favorite since I was little." Sarah giggled as she sat on the swing.

    "Yeah, it's pretty nice. Easy to get to from your house, too."

    "Plus, we can be alone, instead of having my mom watching us!" Sarah giggled again.

    "Yeah, that's a good thing too." Kevin smiled at her.

    "You know, I used to come here with Holden." Sarah looked at he ground. "We would sit here and talk for hours. We also fought here sometimes."

    "Did you fight a lot?"

    "No, but when we did it was nasty. One time we got in an argument over my sister."

    "Your sister?"

    "Yeah. She hated him. SHe really, absolutely loathed him. And she told me that if I didn't break up with him, she was going to hate me forever."

    "So what happened?"

    Sarah sighed. "Well, we had a fight. He told me it was him or her. And I just can't make a decision like that, you know? So i just cried, and sat there."

    "That's horrible, Sarah. Did you guys end up making up?"

    "Yeah. My sister saw how unhappy I was, and told me that she'd be behind me no matter what I did, even if she did hate him. She told me to tell him I'd picked him, to make him happy."

    "Wow. Sounds like you guys had a hard relationship." Kevin wrapped his arms around her. "I promise I won't let that happen to us."

    "I promise too. But I'm not too worried about it. After all, we're perfect for each other." Sarah giggled, and smiled at Kevin.

    "Yeah. We are. We have the perfect relationship. Best friends, who know every side of each other. We won't need to hide anything, and we won't need to worry about lying. It's going to be great."

    "It really is. You know what, Kevin?"


    She grabbed his face and kissed him. "I think I'm already falling in love with you."

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 14

    "So, how's the girlfriend?" Ayala gave Kevin a wide, knowing grin.

    "She's amazing! I couldn't ask for a better girlfriend. I think I'm already falling in love with her." Kevin blushed. "Oops. I didn't mean to say that out loud."

    "Well I knew you were thinking it, silly!" Ayala smiled at him. "You're so easy to read, you know that?"

    "Easy to read? How?"

    "I don't know. I have this weird ability. I can kind of...feel how people are feeling. It's like I can see parts of themselves they're hiding."

    "Like you can see through them?" Kevin tilted his head. "That's kind of weird."

    "Exactly like that." She nodded. "Like people have walls around them, but I can see through them."

    "That's really strange." Kevin shrugged. "Seems confusing. Why do you think that is?"

    "I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with my past?" She looked down.

    "Your past? Why, what's wrong with your past?" Kevin looked concerned.

    "Well, it's just...I was...I don't really want to talk about it." She didn't look up.

    "well...if you say so. But I'm here if you ever need to talk, okay?" Kevin smiled at her. "What are friends for, right?"

    "Yeah. Thanks, Kevin. You're a great friend. I love you." She gave him a hug.

    "Love you too, Ayala."


    You have dived deeper yet into the barriers of her soul.

    You will soon see the truth.

    About her, and about everyone.

    You will understand how their souls are built.

    You will understand why a soul can be broken.

    You will understand how it can be repaired.

    Soon, you will comprehend how strong the barriers of a broken soul are.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 15

    "So how's the relationship? You guys had any problems yet?" Holden dug into his pasta.

    "Nah. It's been great so far actually." Kevin gave Holden a weak smile.

    "So why do you look so down?"

    "'s nothing, really."

    "Come on, man. You know you can tell me anything."

    "It's just...something Sarah told me."

    "Why? What'd she tell you? Something about our relationship?"
    Holden looked annoyed.

    "Well...kind of, yeah. She just told me you guys fought a lot."

    "Oh, is that all?" Holden looked relieved.

    "Yeah. She mentioned the thing with her sister."

    Holden laughed. "Yeah, she hated my guts. I don't even know why. I was nice to her and stuff."

    Kevin grinned. "I think you have a unique definition of 'being nice,' man."

    "Maybe. But yeah, we did fight a lot. Sometimes it just felt like..she wasn't on my level, you know?"

    "Yeah, I know what you mean. Like she's off in her own world sometimes."

    "I think she really is. But I'm sure everythign will be fine between you two. You're better for her than I was."

    "You really think so?" Kevin smiled.

    "Yeah. You make a great couple, man!" Holden wore a huge smile.

    It looked a bit fake to Kevin.


    "So, how many boyfriends have you had, anyway?" Kevin smiled. "I won't get jealous, I promise."

    "Well, let's see here. There was Ethan, Mark, and Leon, so three." She giggled. "I'm not very experienced."

    "Wait, what about Holden? You dated him for 6 months."

    "I don't count him. He was a jerk."

    "So just because he was a jerk, you don't count him as a boyfriend? That's kind of sad."

    "No, it's justified, truuuust me. He made me hate myself. He made me feel like less than a person. All that jerk wanted was to get laid."

    "Oh, come on. It couldn't have possibly been that bad."

    "Have I told you how far I've gotten with other boys?"

    ", but I don't see why..."

    "Making out. That's all, and only with one of them. I'm a scaredy-cat, Kevin. I don't like being pushed. I like to take things slow. But holden didn't understand that." Sarah looked as though she was ready to cry.

    "It'll be okay, Sarah." Kevin embraced her. "Tell me what happened."

    "Well, one day after we had been to the water park, we were kissing on my couch. And then...." She hesitated.

    "Go on."

    Sarah looked as though she was in a different place. "..."

    "Sarah? Keep going. Please?"

    "...oh, sorry. Just...bad memories."

    "I understand. Go on. I'm here to listen." Kevin hugged her tighter.

    "Well....he asked me if I wanted know."

    "Right....then what?"

    "Well, obviously I told him I wasn't ready yet, and that I wanted to wait. But he pushed me. He pushed me really hard."

    "...Sarah...don't tell me..."

    "He tried to, Kevin. He tried to...."

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 16

    "Tried? Meaning he didn't succeed?" Kevin looked a bit relieved.

    "Right. I pushed him off and kicked him out for the day. After that he never tried again, but he kept asking me. Eventually it just got old, and that's part of why we broke up. He just made me feel like he didn't love me, that he was only in it for sex."

    "But don't you think he would have just broken up with you, if that's all he wanted and he didn't get it?" Kevin looked puzzled.

    Sarah shrugged. "I dunno. He's weird. But it still wasn't fun. I hated him for that. I still do, actually. He is just such a jerk."

    "Yeah...I always knew he was obssessed with getting in girls' pants, but I never thought..." Kevin trailed off.

    "Well, It's over now, and I have you!" She grinned at him. "And I knwo you're not the kind of person to try anything."

    Kevin nodded. "I promise. I won't ever push you."

    "Thank you. Kevin, you're really an amazing boyfriend. It's only been a few weeks, but I already feel super close to you. I just emptied my heart out onto you, and you accepted me for who I am. It's like we're perfect together."

    "Yeah. I try my hardest." Kevin smiled at her.

    "Hey Kevin?"


    "I need to tell you something important."

    "What is it?"

    "....I love you."


    "She seriously told you that!? After three weeks!? What did you say!?" Eris looked like she had seen a ghost.

    "Well, what else was I supposed to say? I told her I loved her too."

    "Kevin! How could you possibly be in love with her, hon? You've only been dating her for a few weeks!" Eris was exasparated.

    "I know that! But really, it feels more like a few months. I mean,I think I started to fall for her when we were just friends. I think I've always liked her."

    "But Kevin, that doesn't make sense. You liked me, remember?"

    "Yeah, but I think I also liked her." Kevin looked down. "It's confusing."

    "I don't think that's right. I know you better than that."

    "Trust me, Eris. I know what I'm talking about." Kevin looked up.
    "I know myself better than you."

    "I don't know, Kevin. I knwo you better than you know yourself sometimes."

    "Sometimes. This is not one of those times, and I would appreciate it if you stopped trying to read me."

    "Kevin, I'm just worried about you! I don't want you to get hurt! I honestly don't think you can be in love with her yet!"

    "I am! Eris, I am head-over-heels in love with Sarah!"

    "Are those your words or hers?"

    Her words stung. Kevin took a step back. "You don't know me that well. I'm tired of you pretending you do. I'll talk to you some other time. I have to get home."

    "Kevin, don't walk away from me!"

    He didn't stop. He walked to his car, and drove off.

    "You're right. I don't know you anymore. And I don't think I like who you've become." Eris fought back tears as she ran to her room.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 17

    Sometimes it is impossible to keep two connections whole simultaneously.

    Sometimes helping one hurts the other.

    This is not an act of conscience, but an act of subconscious will.

    Sometimes the price for being close to one person is losing another one.

    Perhaps you should choose your friends carefully.

    You may want to start heeding my words, or thigns will end badly for you, Kevin.


    "Wow, I can't believe he did that. Holden is a jerk, but that doesn't seem like him." Ayala shook her head. "It's amazing what some people are hiding behind their walls..."

    "Walls? What do you mean?" Kevin looked at Ayala quizzically.

    "Uhm...never mind." She evaded skillfully. "So are you sure she's telling the truth? Rape is really not something to joke about." She spoke with a flame in her eyes.

    "I'm pretty sure. But you're right, that really doesn't seem like him at all. I wonder why he did it?"

    "I don't know, Kevin, but you should be careful." She looked down, with hate in her eyes. "Rapists don't deserve to live, if you ask me."

    "You seem to feel pretty strongly about that..." Kevin gave her a concerned look. "Are you alright?"

    "Yeah. I'm fine. I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone else."

    "You are?"

    "Yes. You have to promise not to tell anyone. I mean it."

    "I promise, but why..."

    "Really promise me. This is important."

    "Don't worry." Kevin nodded. "I don't break promises."

    "Alright." Ayala sat back and took a breath. "When I was younger, like 9, my family had this party. All of my cousins and aunts and uncles were over."


    "Well, I was hiding out in my room playing a game, when one of my cousins burst in. And he...." She sniffled. "He..." A tear rolled down her cheek.

    "Ayala....I'm so sorry. That's so horrible..." Kevin hugged her.

    "It's okay. I've mostly gotten over it. He nearly beat me to death though...I really should be dead."

    "Ayala...we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to."

    "No, it's okay. Actually....I think that's why I can see what I can in people."

    "Because you were....?"

    "No. Specifically, because I was almost dead. I might even have been dead for a short time. I don't remember."

    "That's strange..." Kevin rubbed his chin.

    "Yeah. All I remember is this voice talking to me. Telling me things."

    "What kinds of things?"

    "I can't really say. I don't think it's my place."

    "I see. That's even weirder, though."

    Ayala nodded. "Yeah. Remember, you promised not to tell anyone about this. Don't forget. I'm really trusting you, Kevin."

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 18

    "Alright Holden, you have some explaining to do." Kevin walked up behind Holden, who was, as usual, stuffing his face.

    "Whaddddya wammnffa tahhhk bout?"


    Holden swallowed." What do you want to talk about?"

    "It's about Sarah. About something she told me."

    "Oh....she told you what happened, right?"

    "Yeah. I can't believe you, Holden." Kevin shook his head. "I didn't think you were that kind of person.

    "I'm not. She was the one who asked me."

    "Don't lie to me! Why would she do that!?" Kevin slammed the table. "Don't you dare lie to me about this."

    "You know, man, you've changed. I don't think I like it.

    "Stop avoiding my damn questions! Tell me why you did it!"

    "Why bother? You won't listen to me anyway." Holden dumped his tray in the trash. "Besides." Holden stared him deep in the eyes, a flame raging in his eyes. "If you really won't listen to the guy you've been best friends with for years, you aren't the Kevin I know." He started to walk away.

    "Holden! Don't walk away from me! I'm trying to talk to you!"

    "Go screw yourself, man."

    Kevin sighed in exasperation. "Dammit, Holden. Why won't you tell me the truth?"


    "Well, he just ran off. He looked pissed."

    "Well, I promise, I'm not lying. I wouldn't lie to you. I love you." Sarah looked at him with more seriousness in her expression than usual.

    "I know. I just can't figure him out. It's like he's a different person sometimes."

    "Well, he gets like that. Better just to let it go, though."

    "Yeah, I guess so."

    "Here, let me help take your mind off things." She kissed him. "Your bed is super soft, you know that?"

    "I know. Isn't it awesome?" Kevin bounced a little.

    "Kevin...I'm really glad we can talk like this."

    "Yeah. I am too."

    "It makes me feel so close to you. I almost want to feel closer."

    "I know what you mean. I want to be as close to you as I can be."

    "Well...I know a way that could happen." Sarah giggled.

    "....Are you sure?"

    "Remember how I said I wasn't really ready? I think I am. Because I've found the one."

    "Really? Are you really sure? After this, there's no going back."

    "Yes. I'm 100% sure."

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Jan 2011


    Chapter 19

    You have finally become as close as you can get.

    Your souls are now not only together, but merged.

    They are as one.

    However, I feel I must warn you, Kevin.

    You cannot turn back now.

    Your souls are forever bonded.

    If something were to happen and they were separated...

    The consequences may be dire.

    Be aware of everything around you.

    Be careful, Kevin.


    Kevin awoke yet again to a steady beeping.

    "My phone? Again? Man, why do I keep having these weird dreams?"

    He picked up his phone. The name on the screen said "Eris."

    He hesitated, and moved his finger toward the send button.

    "You know what? I'm not fighting with her again."

    He removed his finger from the button and put the phone down.

    It continued to ring for several minutes, then went silent as Kevin drifted off to sleep again.

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