Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Daveobos:The pokemon master(pg.15)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    UK Cheshire Crewe
    Posts
    53

    Default Daveobos:The pokemon master(pg.15)

    Chapter 1 Daveoboss

    The story starts at a house a ten year old boy leaves the house

    :Daveoboss (looking up) "Wow look at the sky. the world is so big".

    (His eyes starts to light up and he sees a pink flying thing quickly pass the house)

    "Wow what was that. Father, Father, come out quickly"!

    (A tall man comes out and puts his hand on Daveobosses head)

    :Father "now now whats with all the nosie"?

    :Daveoboss "I saw a pink thing with a weird tail"!

    :Father Really? "Ummmm..... Ok lets see if the CCTV caught anything".

    :Daveoboss "Ok lets go hurry hurry"!

    (They both go inside to have a look at the CCTV. They see a pink tail thin and goes think at the end)

    :Father "Ok never seen that before"? (with a concerned voice)

    (The father gos to check the pokemon book to see what the tail belongs to)

    (Daveoboss sees a little blood red potion on the table labled immortality potion)

    :Daveoboss "What the hell? What is this"?

    (He opens the top and takes a sniff and then starts to glup it down)

    :Daveoboss "Nice its really tasty".

    (The father walks in and sees the potion undone and emty)

    :Father "Ok the tail is not in the bo... WHAT the potion its gone"!

    (looking at Daveoboss) "Huh you drank it didnt you. (sighing) Olwel cant do anything now".

    (There was a large exploden outside. Two people were heared)

    :Father "What was that! (looking through the window) Bandits! Davoboss you got to run now"!

    (The father runs towards the bandits with a long knife. Daveoboss runs outside to see whats happening)

    :Bandit 1 "Huh look at him"

    :Bandit 2 "Lets kill him quickly so we can get all the valubles".

    (The Bandits hands start to glow black. they both strike him in chest)

    (The father quickly falls down. The bandits start to walk towards Daveoboss)

    :Bandit 2 "Huh look at this kid. what should we do"?

    :Bandit 1 "Leave him he wont do anything. Hes just a kid. just get the stuff and lets go".


    :Daveoboss "Father you killed my father. I will kill you". (in a pissed off voice)


    (Daveoboss started to go red in the face)


    :Bandits (laughing) "Kill us Ha. Dont make us laugh what could u do".


    :Daveoboss "I need power. i need power. I NEED POWER"!


    (Daveoboss heared a vocies in his head. it sounded evil and corrupted

    :Demon "I can give you power. Just accpect me and close your eyes"!

    (Daveoboss closed his eyes) "I WANT POWER!


    (Daveobosses eyes started to go black with hatred. A mask started to form on his face)

    (It look like a gray hollow mask with sharp horns)

    :Daveoboss (Deep voice) I will ****ing kill u

    (The bandits eys went wide)

    :Bandits "What the ****! Impossible how! Who Are You!"

    :Demon "Never Ever Piss Me Off"!

    (Daveoboss quickly killed the bandits and distroyed the house with a black cero)

    :Demon "Now young one i have gave you power and got your revenge. i will let you rest".

    (Daveoboss quickly falls to the ground the mask breaks and his eyes go white)

    (A Bellsprout walks up to Daveoboss)

    :Bellsprout "Bellsprout sprout sprout bellsprout"

    (End of chapter 1

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Iceland
    Posts
    4,764

    Default

    Script format, chatspeak such as "u", improper punctuation and capitalization, and the general lack of proofreading evident inj this are all against the rules. Go read them before you post your work.

    Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
    The story of an ordinary boy on an impossible quest in a world that isn't as black and white as he always thought it was.
    (rough draft of the remaining chapters finished for NaNoWriMo; to be edited and posted)

    Morphic
    (completed, plus silly extras)
    A few scientists get drunk and start fiddling with gene splicing. Ten years later, they're taking care of eight half-Pokémon kids, each freakier than the next, while a religious fanatic plots to murder them all.

    Lengthy fanfiction reviewing guide / A more condensed version
    Read and I will be very happy for a large number of reasons.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •