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Thread: Shining Silver (PG-13)

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    Default Shining Silver (PG-13)

    The Johto region, home of some of the most skilled trainers that have ever existed, and birthplace of Ethan, the famed hero of New Bark town who defeated the resurging Team Rocket, achieved the title of Champion of the Johto League, and even managed to overthrow the most famed and legendary trainer who ever lived, Ash, of mount Silver.

    But how much of this story is fact and how much is legend? Never should we forget that there were two other trainers who left from New Bark that same day. Lyra, who was Ethan's childhood friend, and the one other young boy with red hair. A boy who valued strength above all else. Let no man deceive you, the boy was much as the stories say, angry, cruel, and constanty against the world, but he still had a story to tell. This is his story, the story of a boy who was always second best, and who hated not only the world but himself for it.

    Chapter 1: Into the Dark, Shining Horizon (Prologue)


    It was dawn, just after 6 o'clock in the morning, in the eastern Johto region. A flock of Pidgey flew through the orangeish sky on their daily hunt, and a pair of mating Rattata jumped and tussled through the tall grass of nearby Route 29. The Hoothoot were just tucking themselves in for their long daytime sleep, and the Sentret were starting to wake up in preperation for their own active days.

    Amongst all of this, a single human being trudged his way through the undergrowth, a hard look on his face as he made his way towards New Bark Town. A harsh looking fellow, wearing a tightly cut black jacket with red lining, red hair that was slicked back and fell down to his shoulders, where it bent upwards slightly just before terminating. He also wore skinny blue jeans and sneakers that were black with red lining to match his tight jacket. All in all, he looked like a person who was not to be messed with lightly.

    However, the boy also looked as though he had seen better days. His face, which might have been decently handsome under normal circumstances, was smeared with dirt and what might have been blood, his jacket was slighty dishevelled and it's left sleeve was torn, and he walked gingerly, holding his side as he slipped through the trees.

    Still, the boy was happy, or at least pleased with himself. He couldn't remeber the last time that he was truly happy. Not many people could tangle with what he had just gone through and come out alive. He had beated down a territorial Heracross from Route 45 with his own bare hands. To hell with what his father said, he was strong. He had, and would prove it.

    His stomache grumbled at him, reminding him that he would need to find some food soon. He hadn't eaten in nearly two days.

    The boy could now see that the trees were thinning out and, if he stood on the tips of his toes, he could see the rooftops of New Bark Town not more then a few hundred yards ahead of him. One of the few places in the Johto region where people could go to procure their first Poke'mon to start an official Poke'league journy. There had been a few other places that he could go to which had been closer to his home, but he had trekked through multiple Routes and towns to come here specifically for a few reasons. First, while he didn't know anything about Professer Elm, he did know that the man was reknowned for being the keeper of many rare and powerful Poke'mon, and this boy was not going to accept anything less then the best. Second, the place was a tiny, backwoods town with minimal connection to the outside world, very few families who had lived there since the biggining of time practically, and a reletively tiny law inforcement force.

    The boy reached into his pocket and took out his trainer card, looking at his own picture of the front, his trainer number, and various other data which identified him as a brand new Poke'mon trainer. Thing was...it wasn't officially his. Dear old dad had refused to register him as an official Poke'mon trainer, and so he had been forced to procure a trainer card through other means. The picture was his and the name was his, and it would work fine for some less official things, but the number was assigned to someone else.

    But whatever, the guy wouldn't be missing the card any time soon.

    Here's hoping that Professer Elm didn't take his security and background checking too seriously.

    The boy continued walking, until he reached an area where the trees suddenly gave to open fields and a few dotted houses that were each ringed with picket fences. He had reached his destination.

    To call New Bark a town was being generous, it was really something closer to a tiny village, consisting of, as far as the red-haired boy could count, no more then 5 homes, not including the large building to the north which could only be the Professer's laboratory. There wasn't even a shop, which meant that the people who lived here had to do all of their shopping at the nearby Cherrygrove City.

    The red-haired boy smirked slightly and collapsed against a nearby tree, exhaustion finally winning out now that he had reached his destination. It wasn't even 7 a.m. yet, so he had plenty of time to meet Professer Elm and procure a Poke'mon of his own. Right now he needed to rest.

    He had almost dirfted off to sleep when a young brunette with a large white hat walked up to him and nudged his shoulder. He was awake immediately, his eyes flicking over to the girl and his arm tensing up as it prepared to defend him automatically.

    "Where did you come from?" The girl asked, a pleasant smile on her face, completely unaware of how close he had been to lashing out at her out of pure reflex.

    It took the boy a moment to respond, so unused was he to people speaking in such a manner to him that he wasn't at first sure how to respond. When he did finally respond, it was blunt and in a characteristically harsh voice, "None of your business."

    The girl recoiled slightly, somewhat surprised at his lack of manners, "Well...who are you? What's your name?"

    "Nobody."

    She finally seemed to be getting annoyed with him, but continued her line of questioning regardless, "Are you here to see the Professer?"

    Finally, the boy snapped at her, "Are you always this inquisitive?" he asked, snidely.

    The girl looked stunned for a moment, but then smiled as though she had just come to some sort of realization, "My name is Lyra." she said with a smile.

    Rather then responding politely however, the boy narrowed his eyes at her, "I don't give a damn what your name is! Get away from me!"

    The girl now narrowed her own eyes at him and placed her hands on her hips, "Look, I'm just trying to be friendly, you don't have to be such a-" Suddenly she was interrupted by a loud gurgle, originating from the red-haired boy's stomach, and she brightened up again, "I get it! You're just grumpy because you're hungry!" She reached behind her to a large bag that she was carrying and pulled what looked like a half of a sandwitch from it and offered it to the boy, "Here, I'm sure that you'll feel better after eating something."

    The boy couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had this annoying little girl really lived such a sheltered life that she couldn't concieve of a person who wasn't as disgustingly pleasant as she was!? He didn't want her grubby sandwitch! He wanted to be left the hell alone!

    Angrily, he swatted her offering out of her hand, and she recoiled from her, a look of astonishment on her face as she gently nursed her wrist, "Listen, you annoying little twit! I don't need your damn pity! Just get away from me!"

    Lyra slowly backed away, "Fine!" she spat at him, angrily, "Just be a jerk for all I care!" and she stomped off.

    The red-haired boy sighed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep after that. His stomach growled at him again and he turned to look at the sandwitch that the girl had offered him, now laying on the ground only a couple feet away.

    Well, it wouldn't do to let it go to waist, right? He picked the object up, removed the layer of plastic wrap which kept it isolated from the dirt on the ground and, presumably, the other things in the girl's pack, and took a bite. If he wasn't so increadibly hungry, he probably would have spat it right back out as well. Lettuce, mustard, peppers, all things that he coudln't stand normally, and only a thin layer of some sort of protein...avian, possibly turkey(1)...Arceus, who eats that stuff willingly? Especially peppers...He really hated peppers...

    The boy glanced up towards the laboratory in the distance and noticed, to his chagrin that the girl seemed to be heading in that direction as well, and was in fact nearly halfway there.

    Trying not to walk too fast so as that he wouldn't look like he was following her, he started off towards the laboratory.

    It didn't take him more then 2 minutes or so to reach the large building (to his annoyance, the chatty girl did indeed enter the laboratory before him), but when he did he froze for a moment. What if things went badly? What if the Professer did indeed go through all the protocol in verifying his identity? What if they discovered that he had stolen his Trainer ID card from someone else? Worse, what if Elm just refused to give him a Poke'mon? What would he do?

    Well, he knew one thing, he wasn't leaving this city without a strong Poke'mon of his own, one way or another.

    Taking a deep breath, he grabbed onto the door handle and pushed his way inside.

    He supposed that it was much exactly as he expected, with the people running around in lab coats, the large computers with different lights and flashing displays, and all the things that one expects from a laboratory, although to his surpise the floor was hardwood, and the walls were painted a rather pleasant shade of deep mahogany. Clearly Professer Elm liked his lab to have a confortable feel to it.

    "Can I help you?" A man in a labcoat and gawky glasses asked him, a clipboard in his hands.

    "Yeah," The boy asked him, "I'm a newly registered trainer for the Johto League and I'm looking for a Poke'mon."

    "Oh, uhhh, yes," The man replied to him, "Well then you're in the right place. I'll just alert the Professer and he'll be with you in a minute." the man stated before running off.

    The boy snorted, annoyed at the flustered man, but took his words as a cue to wait where he was and so leaned himself up against a nearby wall and waited, closing his eyes in order to try and shut out the annoying noise of the laboratory and it's workers.

    He didn't have to wait long either, "You've got to be kidding me!" an annoyingly high-pitched voice screamed out.

    The boy opened his eyes to see the annoying girl from earlier standing in a nearby doorway a few feet in front of him, a look of outrage on her face, "You can't be telling me that this punk is here for one of the Professer's Poke'mon!"

    The boy sneered, "What do you care?"

    Lyra stomped her foot down, "No way! I won't stand for it! You'd probably end up abusing any Poke'mon that you got!"

    "Now Lyra," a calm voice spoke from behind her, "That's impolite, you have no proof that he would abuse his Poke'mon."

    A tall and thin man in a labcoat with a receding hairline and a pair of thin glasses stepped through the doorway. The boy could only assume that this was Professer Elm.

    "So, young man, I hear that you're looking for a partner to start your Poke'mon journy with, correct?" The boy nodded and Elm smiled and gestured him to follow.

    "Professer, you can't!" Lyra protested, "This is that punk boy I was telling you about just now!"

    Elm smiled pleasantly (sickening), "Now Lyra, just because a person prefers to be left alone, doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve a chance."

    Lyra crossed her arms and humped before marching off.

    "I'm quite sorry about her," Elm spoke, rubbing the back of his head as he smiled sheepishly, "She can be quite opinionated about people at times." He sighed and gestured through a different doorway, "Anyways, follow me, my reserves of Poke'mon set aside for league trainers is in the back."

    The boy nodded and followed the Professer through a few different rooms until they reached what appeared to be a small office type of area with a large table in the middle, upon which were placed a long row of roughly 20 different Poke'balls(2).

    "So, what type of Poke'mon do you think you're looking for?" The Professer asked, "We have plenty of extremely rare specimens from the Johto, Kanto, and even the Sinnoh and Hoenn reagions."

    The boy looked at the numerous Poke'balls with something resembling contempt, "I just want a strong Poke'mon. Something that won't give out on me when the going gets tough."

    Elm adopted a contemplative look, "Well, uh...maybe a fighting type then? I have a Machop here, or a Riolu if you prefer something more exotic."

    The boy rolled his eyes, and caught something in his peripheral vision, "What's over there?" he asked, turning his focus to a structure in the corner of the room, a tall pod like object with three seperate Poke'balls placed in a triangular shape in the center.

    "Pardon?" Elm replied, his eyes following the boy's line of sight, "Oh, I'm sorry, but those are reserved. They are the rarest and strongest Poke'mon in my collection and I'm saving them for a couple of children who live here in New Bark. I wouldn't trust anyone else with them."

    The red-haired boy raised an eyebrow, "I want one of them."

    Elm's eyes opened wide in surprise, "I'm sorry, but you can't have one of them. Two are reserved for Lyra and Ethan(3), and whichever one they don't pick I am going to keep for further research into the species."

    The boy narrowed his eyes, "I don't give a damn. They're the best right? I want the best."

    Elm gulped, "Listen, I have plenty of other strong Poke'mon in my lab. I'm sure that you'd be fine with the Duskull, or-or even the Houndour."

    Finally, the red-haired boy lost his temper. Roughly he grabbed the Professer by his labcoat and, with a surprising amount of strength for having such a slight frame, picked the man up and slammed him against the wall, "Listen Prof., I have plans, you hear? I'm gonna be the very best, like no one ever was! The strong survive, and the weak perish, and I'm the strongest guy there is, and I need a Poke'mon strong enough to keep up with me!"

    The Professer was now sweating, "I'm beginning to s-see what Ly-Lyra meant about you. You really d-do have quite a t-temper." He gulped, and continued, "Maybe you should seek your first Poke'mon elsewhere."

    The presumptuous old man didn't know how badly he was skating on thin ice at this point, "Listen, you old fool, I hiked here from half-way across freakin Johto because I heard that your Pokemon are the best. I'm not going to turn away empty handed just because you don't have a damn backbone!"

    The Professer gulped heavily and then, to the boy's surprise, steeled his gaze, "You have shown me that you aren't deserving of one of my Poke'mon. I wan't you out of my Laboratory."

    Now fuming, the red-haired boy pulled one of his hands back, as if to punch the Poke'mon Professer in his face, but before he could land his blow he heard running footsteps behind him and the sound of something swinging through the air. With astonishing speed, he dropped the Professer to the ground and spun around, grabbing the wooden walking stick which had been flying towards his head with his bare hand.

    'Figures' he thought as he saw his would-be attacker. It was that girl, Lyra once again.

    "Get out of here!" the girl yelled at him, rage in her voice, "Get out of this lab and leave the Professer alone! And don't come back either!"

    Two more pairs of footsteps drew the boy's eyes to the doorway, and he glanced two more men in labcoats. He grumbled, and thrust the girl's hiking stick back at her with such force that she fell to her back, "I'm not through with you yet. I'll be back." he stated, and marched his way to the doorway, roughly pushing his way through the two scientists.

    It didn't take him long before he had reached the door again and walked into the open air. He was absolutely furious. How dare they look down on him! How dare they belittle him after everything that he went through to get here! Well he'd show them...this wasn't the end of things. He'd get one of those three rare and powerful Poke'mon even if he had to take a page out of his damn father's book to do it!

    The red-haired boy turned back to the laboratory and glanced through one of the nearby windows, catching sight of a rather flustered looking Professer Elm, that Lyra girl trying to dust him off, a look of strong concern on her face.

    "So that's the famous Professer Elm." he whispered to himself. As pathetic as the man seemed to be for the most part, he had to admit that he was impressed that the man had the guts to stand up to him like he did.

    "Pardon me?"

    The red-haired boy twisted around in surprise to find a new figure standing behind him, a boy roughtly his own age (perhaps a year younger), wearing a red sweater, blue shorts, and a black and yellow baseball cap that he wore backwards, one long lock of his black hair sticking out the front.

    "You said something about the Professer?" This boy asked, a curious look on his face.

    "Nothing important," the red-haired boy said with a growl, "Get out of here," and he pushed past the boy, perhaps a bit more roughly then necissary, and walked away down the path.

    He would get one of those Poke'mon, whether that idiot Professer approved or not.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Notes:

    (1): I know that a lot of people replace all the animals in the Poke'mon world with Poke'mon, but considering that they all seem to have such human characteristics, and sentience, I just can't bring myself to have him eating Pidgey meat. It just feels wrong to me.

    (2): In my story Elm is a place where a decent few trainers go to, in order to get their start, so I figure that he must have more Poke'mon then just the three. He has a full reserve of rare and strong Poke'mon (nothing like a pseudo-legendary, but still rare and powerful) ready for the trainers which chose to make their start in New Bark town.

    (3): Lyra doesn't have Marill, and she will get the last of the three starters that Ethan and the Rival don't get.
    This is me. This is my team. Fear our wrath.
    Trainer Card for my Fanfiction.
    (First line links to FF.net version of the story, second line links to Serebii.net version of the story)
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  2. #2
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    REVIEW TIME!

    Grammar

    This is probably the only area so far that I've seen you struggle with, so I would like to clear a few things up.

    This is a sandwitch here

    I believe the term you were looking for was sandwich (please don't think I'm a jerk it was just too funny to me!)

    Though this is more of a nit-pick than it is anything, I'd like to say that the apostrophe in Pokemon looks rather awkward, again not that it matters but if you would like the e with the accent you can type ALT + 0233 (number lock) é but if your computer is like mine and you have no number pad without having to do more than necessary, just an e is fine, this goes for Pokemon, Pokeball, Pokedex, PokePal, you name it!

    Professer = Professor

    20 different Poke'balls(2).
    That almost looks as if you copied this from a Wikipedia article, (not that you did I'm just saying!) it's got a weird format!

    reagion = region

    STORYWISE

    I enjoyed that first part, there is one thing I would like to ask, are you using any of the manga Silver or anything that we know of Silver at all in this, or are you starting from scratch, because if you read up on Silver we find that he has a Team Rocket background an that Giovanni is his father, or well most likely, but still, I mean using that could give this story a lot of...er...I don't know what to call it but rebuilding Silver could work out well too!

    Also, your description isn't too bad either, and it flows well for the most part, you don't post blocks and blocks of paragraph description which is a good thing, because it should flow with the story rather than seem "listed."

    All in all though, I'm enjoying it so far and I will continue to read!
    Insert Cool FanFic Banner Here.
    Maybe I should start writing one of those...

    Life is a work of art, you have to paint it colorful!

  3. #3
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    I really like this story; Silver is my favorite rival because he starts out so horribly mean but becomes nicer to his Pokemon at the end of the game. As Legend of Lucario said, this story's only real problem is spelling and grammar.

    *laughs out loud at Legend of Lucario's sandwitch joke* But really, it should be "sandwich".

    I don't think it's really necessary to include those notes at the bottom of the post...

    Anyways, I'll be back.
    I derp.

    "Don't take chances! Don't make mistakes! But get Messi, definitely get Messi!" - If Joachim Loew quoted Ms. Frizzle

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    Out of the three, I'd marry the soccer ball.

  4. #4
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    Hey, thanks for the kind words guys. I admit that spelling has never been my strongest trait I'm sure I'll make more mistakes in teh future. I write this up on Fanfiction, but for some reason they seem to have removed the spell-check from their website :???:

    @Legend of Lucario: I'm quite aware of Silver in the Manga And yes, Giovanni is indeed the father of my version of him as well. This is however more based on the game and I'm interpreting the character my way, which may be similar but different then how he is portrayed in the Manga. He's also NOT going to be named Silver (his name is revealed at the end of this chapter), because with the other protagonists being named Ethan and Lyra (as opposed to Gold and...whatever), that doesn't really make sense, so I have given the character a new name Anyway, thanks for your imput, I really appreaciate it!

    @Articuno Rocks: Thanks a bunch, "Silver" is my favorite rival as well (along with Gary), and definately the best for writing with. And yeah, the sandwich/sandwitch thing is pretty funny


    Chapter 2: A Thief in the Knight


    The rest of the day went by with very little eventfulness, reletively. The red-haired boy had retreated back into Route 29 and found a secluded place between two trees where he wouldn't be seen unless someone was right on top of him. He had gotten a decent amount of much-needed rest and had even found himself a creek to wash himself off in. At somewhere around noon he had caught the boy in the cap, trekking past his hiding spot in the direction of Cherrygrove City. When the sun had gone down, he had sat listening to the sounds of the cicadas and the Hoothoot in the trees, almost like a nocturnal lulluby. It was tranquil, almost beautiful in a way.

    It would almost be a shame to destroy it like he was planning.

    The thing was, he couldn't see any other way around it. After his outburst earlier, there was no way that Elm would just give him a Pokemon. With his stolen trainer card it had always been a longshot anyway. Damn his short temper! If he had played his cards better...if he had just acted like a nicer guy then he was, he might right now have a strong and rare Pokemon of his own and he would never have to see that stupid Professer again. He had considered going back in and apologizing, but the mere idea of such an act left him sick to his stomach. Only the weak begged forgiveness. Only the weak relied on others. There was nothing else to do. As much as he hated the idea of stooping to such degrading tactics as those imployed by his father's men, he didn't have any other choice.

    He would have to steal of of Elm's Pokemon. Nothing and no one was going to stand in his way.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    It was past 1 in the morning when the red-haired boy had finally made his move. The tiny town of New Bark wasn't likely to wake up any time soon, and honestly, in such a small town, they likely went to bed somewhat earlier then what he was used to. It had taken the boy all of about five minutes to sneak his way over to the large building at the north end of town and pick the lock on one of the windows nearby the room with the Poke'balls. He slid the window up, and cringed when it squeaked in protest under his strength. When he didn't hear anyone coming, he slid through the open window and took note of the room that he was in, recognizing it as being only two doors down from the room that he was aiming for.

    He reached the door at the end of the room and slipped into the hallway, sliding down two doors and slipping into the room which contained his endgoal.

    To his immense surprise, there was someone already there, a pencil-thin man with a bowl-haircut and large spectacles, reading what had to be the largest book ever produced by man by candlelight. So engrossed in his research was he that hadn't even registered the thief's entry.

    Striding confidantly over to the sitting man with the grace and silence of a jungle Persian, he made his way over to the late-working scientist and deftly wrapped his arm around the man's neck it a choke hold, using his other hand to cover the man's mouth and clamp his nose shut. The man jumped in shock and struggled for a moment, but the boy's grip was too strong, and after a few moments, the scientist went limp in his arms. The man would be okay, but he would wake up with a splitting headache and he would sport an ugly pair of bruises around his neck for a while.

    The silent thief turned his attention back to the pod that held the special three Pokeballs and made his way over to them. When he got there, he was surprised, and somewhat annoyed, that there were only two still remaining. One of the two brats whom they were reserved for must have come for them already. He looked over the remaining two balls for a brief moment, considering taking them both. Two rare and powerful Pokemon would certainly be a plus. But in the end, he decided not to. No one else started with two Pokemon. If he started out ahead of the rest, he would never be content in his victories.

    He didn't have the time to check over both of them, and he wasn't sure how much of a fuss the two creatures might make if they suddenly both found themselves outside of their Pokeballs with a stranger in the middle of the night, so he would have to take one randomly and hope that he got lucky. Chosing the orb on the right-hand side, he pulled back and made to exit the room.

    Before he had moved more then a few feet however, he heard a loud crash somewhere in the vacinity behind him. Breaking out in a cold sweat, the boy swivled around and saw the familliar man who had denied him his Pokemon earlier. The Professer was still rubbing his eyes, and wearing what looked hilariously like pink pajamas with a singing Jigglypuff print. He carried a surprisingly powerful flashlight that was currently zipping around the room, heading dangerously close to the thief's location. The crash had come from him knocking a large stack of books to the floor.

    The red-haired thief's mind was moving as fast as a Jolteon running on a bed of hot coals as he tried to figure a way out of this without being seen. He was sure that the Professer wouldn't be able to stop him, but at the same time he didn't want him going to the police with a description of who it was who had stolen his rare Pokemon. Oh, sure, he would probably suspect the truth, but without any evidence, there wasn't a lot he could do.

    Taking a gamble, he charged the Professer, his head down, and tackled him to the ground. The two landed hard on the wooden floor and the thief thought that he heard Elm give out a cry of pain, but at the moment he didn't care. Like he had hoped, Elm had dropped his flashlight and engulfed them in total darkness.

    Before the Professer could recover, the red-haired boy was on his feet making a mad dash for the door, slipping back into the hallway and making for the same window which he had let himself in through eariler.

    A moment before he could slip out the open window however, he found himself bathed in light. That damn Professer was faster then he had anticipated, and had flicked on the ceiling lights at the last possible second. For a moment, the boy froze, stunned by his sudden blindness as his eyes attempted to rapidly adjust to the new light.

    "YOU!" Elm called out, his voice a mixture of shocked and acusitory tones, "What are you doing here!"

    The boy cursed his red hair which made him immediately recognizable, even from the back, and slowly turned around. Elm was standing in the doorway with an enraged look on his face. The boy smirked, deciding that as long as he was found out, he might as well rub it in a bit, "I told you I wasn't finished with you yet. You should have just given me one of these Pokemon when you had the chance." He said as he held up the tiny red and white orb, taunting his powerless would-be persuer.

    "THAT...THAT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!"

    The boy simply smirked and replied, "It does now." And before Elm could reply further, he hooked one of his legs out the window and slipped away into the night.

    "WAIT," he heard the winy voice of the Professer called out to him, "COME BACK!"

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Professer Elm could practically feel his blood sugar dropping as he fretted throughout his laboratory, trying to decide what he could do. He knew that, without special transportation, the thief boy couldn't have gone through the East path, and it was almost impossible to travel northward through Route 46, which left his most likely path in the direction of Cherrygrove. He had considered trying to go out after the boy himself but in the dark of night he wasn't likely to catch up with the boy. He had even considered sending the Growlithe that he had on hand after the boy, but quite honestly, that Growlithe was one of the ones which he had reserved for a trainer, and as such was totally untrained. If the boy tried to use his stolen Poke'mon to defend himself, he might seriously injure the Growlithe, and that would just add another thing on top of his list of things to worry about.

    Oh, why hadn't he asked for the boy's name before things had gone so badly?

    Elm had only one real option left to him, though he didn't like to resort to it. He had already tried calling up Ethan once on his phone, but had gotten no answer, admittadly not surprising for 1 in the morning. He would have to try again in the morning and hope that the boy hadn't already passed him by.

    Well...there was one other possibility that he could...but no...she wasn't ready for something like that. Lyra was a good girl, and a kind girl, but she was also brash and impulsive, and she didn't have the innate strength that Elm knew that Ethan possessed. Still, with two of his special reserve Pokemon gone, the last one was hers by default. It would be a shame for him to not be able to personally study one of them in his lab, but he had promised Lyra and Ethan one of them each, and he would stick by that promise.

    Elm sighed. This was going to get far more complicated then he had anticipated

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Ethan had always been an early riser, and everyone in New Bark knew it. He was usually the first person awake every day, outside of the Professer and would often go over to Elm's lab practically at sunrise to help him out with various small tasks before his aides woke up, often hours later. As such, it had been at 6 o'clock in the morning when he had recieved his call from the Professer on the second day of his journy.

    He had in fact just left the home of the enigmatic man, who went by the name of "Mr. Pokemon," as unusual as that was, when the call had come in.

    "Yello Prof.!" Ethan had replied pleasantly when he saw Elm's number on his Caller ID.

    "Ethan! This is...it-it's terrible! You need to come back right away!"

    "Whoa!" Ethan yelled out, "Calm down Professer. Now tell me what happened?"

    "Yes-yes...okay. You have -BEEP- to come back to the lab right away, and with utmost speed! I was robbed! A boy -BEEP- broke into the lab and stole one of my prize Pokemon. I think that he might be -BEEP- headed your way as well!"

    Ethan cursed under his breath, "Jeez, uh...alright, so what do you want me to do? Look for him? Come back to the lab?"

    The Professer seemed to pause for a moment before replying, "The -BEEP- boy is likely headed in your direction, but there's still no telling if you -BEEP- could find him or not. If you manage to run into -BEEP- him then do what you can, but I still want you to come back straight away. Don't get in -BEEP- over your head either, okay?"

    Ethan nodded, "Right. Do you have this guy's name?"

    He could hear Elm sigh over the phone, "No, no name. I -BEEP- can describe what he looks like though. He's about the same age as you and Lyra and-"

    "Professer? PROFESSER!" Ethan looked down at his Pokegear and saw that the charge was dead. It wasn't a surprise really, he wasn't used to living without the normal human comforts that come with a home and after talking practically all day long with his mother yesterday (at her insistance), he had forgotten to plug the thing into it's portable charger at night. If he plugged it in now it would take nearly an hour to get any sort of charge. He would have to make it back to Cherrygrove on his own.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The red-haired thief fell to the ground, his legs burning and his chest heaving in exhaustion. A bead of sweat rolled down his face and his tightly cut jacket was now clingling uncomfortably to his back. He had first sprinted nearly half of a mile, and then had been slowed to a steady jog for another 2 miles after that. His jacket had another tear in it from when he had dashed too close to a low hanging branch and his chest had a light scrape along the front. He had also run into something alive, bowling it over, but he had been in such a hurry that he hadn't had the time to even check and see what it was. He was so sure that the cops and their Growlithe would be right behind him.

    Let no man say that he wasn't in shape. Most people would have collapsed part-way through.

    Unfortunately, there was no way that he could possibly have run another step. He was at his limit, and he was about to hit the ground. Litteraly, he hardly even had the energy to realize that the brown floor in his vision was coming closer until it slammed into his face.

    He wanted to pull himself up from the earth, but he was so exhausted that he just couldn't muster up the energy to do so. His eyes slowly found themselves closing under their own weight. Just before he blacked out, he thought that he heard howling in the distance.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The thief awoke to the sounds of growling at his ear, his eyes snapping open to view a set of off-white canine fangs just barely more then an inch from his face. He was immediately wide awake, pulling away with such force that he fell off the side of the bed, taking the sheets with him as he hit the soft carpeting around him.

    "YENA, YENA, YENA!"

    It took the thief a moment to regain total lucidity after waking up, and several moments after that to take in his surroundings. The place was a surprisingly homey sort of room, totally rectangular, and somewhat small. The walls were covered with a sort of lavender wallpaper, and he noticed the occasional picture on the walls as well, mostly of some sort of tranquil river in the forest or ocean scenery, but there was also one that looked like a young girl with long grey-ish hair. The bed that he had fallen off of was somewhat large for the room's size, which made the room seem even smaller, with a wooden headboard and posts. To either side of the bed were a pair of wooden dressers, an top of which were more personal pictures of the girl with long grey hair, mostly young, sometimes with a couple of people who must have been her parents, and one with her along with an Eevee sitting on her lap and a Murkrow on her shoulder.

    "YENA, YENA, YENA!"

    The thief's eyes immediately shot to a remarkably quickly moving blur of grey and black, the growling canine which had shocked him awake with it's growling, a Poochyena, which just run around the bed from the other side and was now growling at his face, it's fur standing on end in an attempt to make itself look threatening.

    "GO! SHOO!" The thief yelled, trying to push the canine Pokemon away with one of his legs. The canine bit onto his pants leg and began violently trashing back and forth, yanking with such surprising strength that the thief found himself being pulled across the floor, the friction almost causing his pajamas to be pulled down off of his rear.

    Speaking of which, when was he changed out of his black jacket and jeans? He had never seen these pale blue pajamas before, and he had certainly not put them on himself.

    The Poochyena nipped at his foot, not hard enough to cause any sort of pain, but enough to break him out of his thoughts, "I SAID GET OUT OF HERE, STOP BITING YOU CRAZY ANIMAL!"

    He heard the creeking of a door opening nearby, and a voice called out, "Koka! Leave the poor boy alone!"

    The thief glanced up to see an middle-aged woman, perhaps in her early fifties, with short hair the same shade of deep grey hair as the girl in the pictures.

    The woman moved with surprising agility for a person her age and scooped up the small canine in her arms, "That's a naughty doggy Koka, you shouldn't treat our guests like that!" She turned to the thief and smiled pleasantly, "I'm sorry about that, he likes to intimidate people, but he wouldn't really hurt you."

    The red-haired boy stuttered in surprise for a moment, before regaining his composure, "Who are you? Where am I?"

    The woman's face adopted a look of concern, "Oh, you poor boy, I'm sorry. My name is Christine, my husband found you collased out on Route 29 and carried you here. He's a bird watcher you see and likes to go out early in the morning to spot the Hoothoot before they turn in for the day."

    "Early?" The boy muttered to himself, and he turned his head to a pair of long purple curtains which did a decent job of keeping out the sunlight, though he still saw a beam of sunlight peering through the thin opening between them.

    "What time is it?" he asked, shocked and a little alarmed.

    "Time? Well I'd guess it to be around 7 o'clock or so. We don't keep a clock around here, never having had a need for one. We live mostly on our own out here, along with our loyal Pokemon." The Poochyena gave out another bark in her arms.

    "Where am I?" The boy repeated.

    "Oh, our little home must be about 2 1/2 miles south of Cherrygrove, I would say. If that's where you're headed, my husband can give you a ride there when he gets back."

    Feeling like he was starting to get a handle on the situation, the boy slowly and shakily stood himself up, dusting off the front of his pajama shirt and gesturing towards it, "Care to explain this?"

    "Yes, well your clothing was rather torn up and quite dirty when we found you so I took the liberty of cleaning and repairing them up."

    "And so...you changed my clothing while I was asleep?"

    The woman laughed, "Oh don't be so prudish dear. As it stands, no, we had out Shiftry change you into those pajamas." She turned away from him, still carrying the struggling pup, "There's a shower in the restroom, two doors down from this one, you should clean up before you come down to breakfast."

    The thief's eyes narrowed, "I don't need breakfast, just point me towards Cherrygrove and I'll be on my way." By this point Elm had almost certainly alerted the police, and for all he knew they were already swarming the nearby towns and cities, looking for him. The sooner he got as far away as possible, the better off he would be. He figured he would be safe once he got to about Violet City.

    Christine would have none of it however, "Don't be rediculous child. What sort of a woman would I be if I let a starving young boy go on his way without a decent meal?" And she walked out the door without another word, effectively settling the argument.

    The thief grumbled in annoyance.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    It was roughly 20 minutes later when the red-haired boy walked down the stairs, messing absent-mindedly with the sleeves of his black jacket which had been left at the floor outside the bathroom. He wasn't sure how the old lady had done it, but every tear was mended so perfectly that he couldn't even tell that the germent had ever been damaged in the first place.

    He glanced around the room, taking note of the nearby doorway but turning away from it and walking into what he assumed was the kitchen. He had thought about it a bit while washing up and had considered that it was likely that the woman's husband could get him into town faster (he still didn't exactly know where he was and was liable to get lost if he ran out on his own). If that meant that he had to plaster a phoney smile on his face and sit through a breakfast with these people, then that was exactly what he would do.

    He walked into the kitchen area and saw Christine sitting around a small round table, three plates and three chairs placed around the table, two of which were occupied, one by the woman herself.

    At the other occupied seat was a man of roughly the same age as the woman, his hair almost completely grey, though more due to old age then a natural hair color like the grandmother's deep grey seemed to be. He wore a very typical farmer's gear, complete with overalls and a wide rimmed, straw hat. He had a remarkably kindly face, and a messy five o'clock shadow. They looked as though they were eating bacon and eggs, along with a small pile of Pecha berries on each plate.

    Cristine noticed him first, "Ah, here he is. Well boy, are you going to just stand there or are you going to join us?"

    Wordlessly, the boy nodded and walked over to the table, taking the only empty seat.

    "Well, how are you doin' son?" The elderly man asked, "What happened to out in the woods? Did you take a fall?"

    The thief narrowed his eyes, "No, I was just running for a long time and I ran out of energy. Nothing else." He took a bite out of the meal in front of him and found that it was surprisingly decent, "And I'm not your son."

    "Well then, do you have a name?"

    The boy's eyes narrowed, "No."

    Cristine raised an eyebrow, "Now boy, you don't have to be so worried. We aren't going to bite you."

    The man simply smiled however and waved his wife off, "If the boy doesn't want to tell us his name, that's his perogative. I'm Samuel by the way. You can call me Sam."

    The boy nodded, not really caring, "Cristine said that you could give me a ride up to Cherrygrove?"

    Samuel nodded, "That I can. I need to go up to the city to buy some fertilizer anyways, so we can go after breakfast."

    The boy nodded again, but didn't say another word.

    "By the way," Samuel continued, "This belong to you?" as he reached into his pocket and retrieved a small Pokeball and held it out for the boy, "You were clutching it pretty tightly when I found you."

    The thief reached out for the Pokeball and smirked to himself. He had been worrying about the ball ever since he had woken up, but hadn't wanted to say anything until he was sure that it was missing, "Yeah, it's mine. I'm glad that it wasn't lost."

    The elderly man nodded, "So you a trainer? Headed to Violet City to challenge the gym?"

    The thief nodded, "Yeah, I want to get there as soon as I can."

    Cristine spoke up again, "Our Grandaughter is a trainer as well. She's doing well if her letters are any indication, and she sends us Pokemon every so often to help us out on the farm. Koka that you met earlier didn't actually come from her, but his mother did." She waved her fork at the boy in a faux reprimanding manner, "When you get to be a successful trainer, you'd better help out your family as well kiddo!"

    The thief's eyes narrowed, there were a thousand different ways that he could answer that, but all of them would likely lead to deeper conversation that he wanted to avoid, so instead he simply shrugged, "I plan on doing so." It was a lie of course, but it's not like it would eat at his conscience. His parents had lied enough that he was pretty comfortable with the idea.

    Samuel chuckled, "You aren't much one for talkin' are ya? Well that's fine. Soon as we done, I'll take you back up to Cherrygrove and you can be on your way."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Not five minutes later, the thief and Samuel were standing outside, preparing for their trip. The boy couldn't help but be impressed by what he saw. The gardens were enormous, with rows after rows of berry trees, vegetables, ordinary fruits, and the more. From what he could see, dozens of Pokemon dashed between the plants, making sure that each and every one was well taken care of. A pair of Sneazle trimmed the branches, Mightyena and Houndoom were digging like any dog would, except with more precision, making sure that the ground was well tilled. Murkrow were fluttering from tree to tree, picking fruits and dropping them into baskets.

    It was like a well-oiled machine. The boy had to admit himself impressed.

    "Got everything that you need?" the old farmer asked.

    The boy fingered the small Pokeball attached to his belt and nodded, but didn't say anything else.

    "Alright then, let's head out. Cherrygrove is almost directly north from here." Samuel stated and let loose a high-pitched whistle that rang in the red-haired boy's ears.

    The sound of galloping hooves made the boy turn his head to see a pair of tall and powerful looking Rapidash running up to their master, one red the other, to the thief's surprise, had what looked like silverish flames for it's mane.

    "What, not a dark type?" the boy asked, having noticed earlier that every other Pokemon on this farm was at least partially of the same type.

    The older man chuckled, "Yeah, our little girl has a fondness for dark types, but she sends others too. We have a few Miltanks and Doduo as well. There aren't very many dark types that a guy could ride through the woods after all."

    The boy nodded his understanding and walked over to the two horse Pokemon. The one with the silver mane turned to him and snorted, seeming to look down at it's nose at him, contemptuously. The boy glared back at the animal and turned away.

    "Hold up one second boys!" The voice of Christine called our from the little white house's doorway, "I have something for you!"

    The little old woman dashed out the door with increadible agility for a woman her age (or any age for that matter), two objects held in her hands, one a small package wrapped in a checkered cloth, the other much larger, a cylidrical in shape and the same black with red lining as the thief's jacket.

    "These are for you two," she said, giving the small pack to her husband and holding the larger package out for the boy.

    "What is this?" The red-haired thief asked, his eyes narrowed in uncertainty and annoyance.

    "If you're going to be traveling along for any length of time, there are some things that you are going to need. In here is a first aid kit, some long lasting rations, some thin rope and twine, a knife, a complass, a flint, and various other things which you might need. There are also some empty compartments for anything that you might pick up for yourself, Pokeballs and the like."

    The boy's muscles tensed and his jaw clenched, "I don't need your charity." he half-stated, half-seethed, "I'm more then capable of looking out for myself."

    "Now you stop that right now." Christine spoke, a finger held up towards him in an authoratative manner, "There's nothing wrong with letting someone else give you a little something now and then."

    The boy opened his mouth to reply but she silenced him by placing her finger over his mouth, "No, you listen. I can tell that you don't like being helped, I can tell that for some reason you think that it's some sort of a sign of weakness, but that isn't what this is. I'm an old woman and my grandaughter is far away and doesn't need me any more. You can go off and do whatever you like, but it's my perogative to dote on the occasional child who shows up on my doorstep." She smiled pleasantly, "So shut up and thank me and be on your way."

    The young thief opened his mouth to protest again, but couldn't seem to find any words to say. Something about this old woman made her impossible to argue with, so instead he just nodded and, noticing a long strap attached to the cylinder shaped bag, slipped it over his shoulder. It was nearly as long as his torso, and about a quarter as thick, and the way that he had it slung over his shoulder made it so that it was snug tight to his back.

    He couldn't bring himself to say anything so he just nodded and she seemed to accept that.

    "Alright!" Samuel called out, "If that's all over with, lets go. I'll ride Quicksilver, he doesn't much like strangers. You can mount up Peggy."

    The boy rolled his eyes, hating the idea of getting up on a horse named Peggy.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    It was almost two hours before the two of them reached Cherrygrove, neither speaking much, save for the occasional egging on of the flaming steeds beneath them. The young thief was honestly disgusted with himself. Disgusted that he had allowed himself to show a moment of weakness, however slight and brief, and disgusted that he hadn't had the strength to throw this damn bag back into her face.

    He just had to tell himself that it was all for a good reason. He would use them to get back into town as fast as he could and avoid the police, and then he would never have to look back at these people again.

    He was shocked when the thick trees suddenly stopped short without any sign of thinning out. The city limits of Cherrygrove could be viewed only a few hundred feet away. The thief scoffed as he looked at the small bundle of buildings, less then a quarter of the size of a huge metropolis like Goldenrod. Was everything in the southen corner of Johto so small? Still, it was a city, with a decent number of roads and shops, and it was a suitable stop on his way to Violet City.

    "Well, this is where we part wasy I suppose." Samuel spoke to him, tipping his hat as he did so, "I'll leave the Rapidash here, they don't do well within the city limits."

    The boy nodded, "Right," and dismounted the fire horse before walking off towards the city, Samuel staying behind to tether the two horses to one of the nearby trees.

    "If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask!" The old farmer called after him.

    The thief snorted humorously, though he was too far away to have been heard, "I'll consider it!" he yelled back. Unlikely. He doubted that he would ever even be anywhere near this area again, and even if he was, Articuno would be seen in hell before he would ever willingly go back to those old geezers again.

    He would head towards the nearest marketplace. There were some things that he would need to pick up. Training aids for his Pokemon, as well as Pokeballs and perhaps a few potions and medicines. And there was one more thing that he wanted to get as well.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A half-hour later, Samuel and Christine long forgotten, the boy exited the Pokemart, smirking to himself as he thought about the objects that he had procured. He had to admit that the bag was useful, and held a remarkable amount of stuff for it's size. He supposed that even weak old people could be useful for some things.

    He reached into his bag and pulled out his trainer card, which also served as the holder for his funds. With the money that he had aquired from his father's business associates, as well as that which had been taken from the card's previous owner (not that he would miss it of course), he had to admit that he had a decently hefty bit of money to start out with, and even after his shopping spree he still held a total sum of 1200 Pokedollars left over.

    He began walking, his feet automatically carrying him towards the city's northern exit, not really watching where he was going. As such, he was not prepared for the person who, apparently in a mad hurry, blindly turned a corner and crashed directly into him, sending them both tumbling to the floor, the other person landing on top of him and nearly knocking the wind out of him.

    "Oh jeez man, I'm sorry!" the other person stated, scampering off of the felled thief, "I'm just in such a hurry I wasn't watching where I was going!"

    It took the red-haired thief a moment to clear his head and take in what was happening. He looked up and what he saw sent a chill down his spine.

    It was the boy. The same one which had saw him outside of Elm's laboratory and who had walked past him in on route 29 last night before he had stolen Elm's Pokemon. He had a gut feeling that he knew who this kid was. Ethan...the same boy whom one of the three Pokemon had been reserved for. And on top of that, the boy was holding something in his hand. Someting small, flat and rectangular. The red-haired thief's trainer card.

    The boy with the cap, Ethan, walked over to him and held out his arm, as though to help him up. He ignored this gesture and pulled himself back to his feet.

    "Here, you dropped this," Ethan stated, holding the trainer card out to him. The capped boy glanced one more time at the trainer card, "Zane."
    Last edited by AmericanDreamer; 20th June 2011 at 11:41 AM.
    This is me. This is my team. Fear our wrath.
    Trainer Card for my Fanfiction.
    (First line links to FF.net version of the story, second line links to Serebii.net version of the story)
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  5. #5
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    reletively
    relatively

    1 in the morning
    one in the morning would be grammatically correct, if I remember correctly numbers below 1000 should be typed out, but that might have been my teacher's nitpick...

    confidantly
    confidently

    journy
    journey

    Litteraly
    literally

    trashing
    thrashing

    collased
    collapsed

    out
    our

    germent
    garment

    increadible
    incredible

    professer
    professor

    and the more.
    and more

    ---

    So I saw at the end of this chapter that Ethan gives back the trainer's card, but there's no battle, am I getting ahead of myself or is there not going to be one, because that's just a part of the plot towards the game so I was just wondering, not that it matters, but anyways...

    Plot-wise, another good chapter, the only problems were once again the spelling and the grammar. My advice to you is to type these up in Microsoft Word or Works, then use the spell check and it'll pick up things spelled wrong, also make sure that you proof-read and don't rely on spell check too much, because YOU are the only one that knows what you are trying to say.
    Insert Cool FanFic Banner Here.
    Maybe I should start writing one of those...

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  6. #6
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    USE SPELL CHECK. That way it will correct all spelling and grammer mistakes. Besides it's a good story!

    To dream the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe
    To bear with unbearable sorrow. To run where the brave dare not go.
    To try when your arms are too weary. To reach the unreachable star!
    This is my quest! To follow that Star! No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
    To fight for the right, without question or pause, to be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause!
    And The world will be better for this, that one man, scorned and covered with scars still strove to his last ounce of courage.
    To reach, that unreachable star!
    I have claimed Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

  7. #7
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    Woohoo! A new chapter! And now, as Cilan would say, it's evaluating time!

    - Overall, aside from the spelling errors, it's a pretty nice story. "Zane" is a super-bad*** name for a super-bad*** trainer like him. I'm still used to calling him "Silver" though; it'll take a while for me to start calling him "Zane". Anyways, I'll suggest you to type the fanfiction on Microsoft Word and use Spell Check; it helps a lot. Spell Check, however, doesn't catch typos, so be sure to proofread ("Knight" should be "Night" in the title).

    - Zane is really, really BAD***, like Silver in the games. You really gave him a fitting personality. He suffocates scientists, steals rare Pokemon, and doesn't even say "thank you" to friendly old people! I can't wait until he begins showing signs of transformation.

    - Adding the Christine and Samuel part was certainly very interesting - after all, it doesn't happen in the games. Poor old couple; they got dissed by a red-haired thief...

    - Why aren't Ethan and Zane battling... or are they going to battle in the next chapter? If so, I wonder if Zane stole Chikorita. If he did, I wonder what his expression will be when he finds out that he stole a cute little pear instead of a vicious alligator or flaming hedgehog.

    - At this point, the only advice I can give you is to USE SPELL CHECK. I'm looking forward to Zane's first gym battle (Falkner, please teach that boy a lesson or two!). Is there a PM list for this fic? I'd love to be on it.

    Good luck and happy writing!
    I derp.

    "Don't take chances! Don't make mistakes! But get Messi, definitely get Messi!" - If Joachim Loew quoted Ms. Frizzle

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  8. #8
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    Ordinarily, I would respond to this when I updated the story, but I think I would be remiss if I didn't adress a few of these points pretty quickly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    Woohoo! A new chapter! And now, as Cilan would say, it's evaluating time!

    - Overall, aside from the spelling errors, it's a pretty nice story. "Zane" is a super-bad*** name for a super-bad*** trainer like him. I'm still used to calling him "Silver" though; it'll take a while for me to start calling him "Zane". Anyways, I'll suggest you to type the fanfiction on Microsoft Word and use Spell Check; it helps a lot. Spell Check, however, doesn't catch typos, so be sure to proofread ("Knight" should be "Night" in the title).
    Understandable to want to automatically call him Silver, but it just wouldn't work unless I called Ethan "Gold". Zane is what I called the Rival on my version of SoulSilver. I thought it was pretty cool, and I'm glad that you like it

    Using Microsoft Word would probably be a smart thing to do in the future, you're right. Thanks for the advice

    However, the word in the title isn't a typo, it's a pun. Note the first chapter is "Into the Shining, Dark Horizon", which is also a good/bad, light/dark thing. The point is that he is a thief right now, but he has the potential to be as noble as a knight one day

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    - Zane is really, really BAD***, like Silver in the games. You really gave him a fitting personality. He suffocates scientists, steals rare Pokemon, and doesn't even say "thank you" to friendly old people! I can't wait until he begins showing signs of transformation.
    Thanks. I had hoped that I had made him bad enough (I was afraid that I might have made him too soft with the old couple, but I also didn't want him to do anything that makes him seem irredeemable). Of course there is a seed of goodness in him, it will just take a while for it to bear fruit. And yeah, he is a bad***.

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    - Adding the Christine and Samuel part was certainly very interesting - after all, it doesn't happen in the games. Poor old couple; they got dissed by a red-haired thief...
    Christine and Samuel are actually somewhat important in the grand scheme of things. They show Zane his first glipse of genuine kindness. I always felt that the Rival in the games was changed too easily and without much good reason. He gets his butt kicked a few times by Ethan and guys like Lance and suddenly he decides to be a decent guy? No, I think that he needs more then that. Christine and Samuel are just the first part of that.

    On another note, can you guess who the two are connected to from the actual game? I didn't exactly make it subtle...

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    - Why aren't Ethan and Zane battling... or are they going to battle in the next chapter? If so, I wonder if Zane stole Chikorita. If he did, I wonder what his expression will be when he finds out that he stole a cute little pear instead of a vicious alligator or flaming hedgehog.
    Yeah, the battle comes next I switched the order of Zane dropping his trainer card and the battle because I just couldn't think of a of having him drop the trainer card and making it seem natural without someone crashing into him while he's already holding the card (and why would he take out his card in the middle of the battle?).

    As for which one he stole, you'll find out next chapter (I'm purposefully trying to keep it under-wraps until the reveal). But remember that Zane, Ethan, and Lyra each get one of them, and I tried to give them each the one which best fits their character. Also, Ethan gets the one which is weak to Zane's, so if Zane got Chikorita, then Ethan would have Totodile and Lyra would have Cyndaquil.

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    - At this point, the only advice I can give you is to USE SPELL CHECK. I'm looking forward to Zane's first gym battle (Falkner, please teach that boy a lesson or two!). Is there a PM list for this fic? I'd love to be on it.

    Good luck and happy writing!
    Thanks a bunch Do you mean that you want me to PM you when I get another chapter up? I can do that. I'm glad that you like the story that much

    Falkner's battle is coming up soon, but remember that I've got 8 gyms in Johto alone, plus Ethan and Lance to teach Zane a lesson. It doesn't necessarily have to come from the first Gym leader Of course that doesn't mean that he'll have a cakewalk either.
    Last edited by AmericanDreamer; 21st June 2011 at 5:08 AM.
    This is me. This is my team. Fear our wrath.
    Trainer Card for my Fanfiction.
    (First line links to FF.net version of the story, second line links to Serebii.net version of the story)
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  9. #9
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    Oh, oooohhhhh, if you're going to make a PM List by the way, you can add me to it as well, A.) I want to keep up with this and B.) My PM Box is certainly lonely...
    Insert Cool FanFic Banner Here.
    Maybe I should start writing one of those...

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  10. #10
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    Pretty good so far, except for obvious spelling/grammar mistakes. Likin' the way Zane thinks. Put me on the PM List!
    Shoot Confirmed.


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  11. #11
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    PM Lists, got it

    Note: I am SOOOO sorry for how long this took. I blame college. They just don't let you focus on important stuff like Pokemon when they want you to be studying microbiology. Also other fanfics on FF.com. Also writers block. Also just a tad bit of lazyness.

    The point is, I'm really sorry. On with the show!

    Chapter 3: A Pleasant Thrashing


    "Zane?" Ethan looked back down at the red-haired boy's trainer card, "That's your name right? Says so right here."

    "Give that back." Zane growled at him, roughly yanking the card out of the other boy's hand.

    Ethan put his hands up in a defensive posture, "Hey, sorry! I didn't mean to pry. Anyway, I gotta rush. Professor Elm down in New Bark needs me so, see ya later I guess."

    Before Ethan could run however, an idea occurred to Zane. He had a new Pokemon, which he still needed to test out. He had a Pokemon that was more rare and powerful then any other in the area in fact, outside of two, and he didn’t even know exactly what kind it was. A battle with someone who held one of the other two was exactly what he needed to test his new acquisition.

    And besides, something about this Ethan kid ticked him off.

    The moment before the other boy had dashed out of reach, Zane grabbed onto upper arm, holding him in place.

    “Hey - what?” Ethan stuttered in surprise for a brief moment before collecting himself, “Let go of me, I need to get back to New Bark as fast as I can!”

    “Why?”

    Ethan’s eyes narrowed, “The Professor has been robbed. I need to get back there as soon as possible to help out.” His voice was almost threatening, and his hand twitched towards the small Pokeball at his belt.

    Zane smirked, glad that he was getting under the other boy’s skin, “Again I ask, why? If this Professor of yours was robbed, he’s going to call the police. What, do you think that you’re better then them? What are you supposed to do?”

    Ethan stared at Zane blankly for a moment, too stunned to respond.

    “You’re a Pokemon trainer.” Zane stated, glancing at the red and white orb on Ethan’s belt, “As am I and I’m challenging you to a battle.”

    “What? No, I can’t right now. I told you, people need me!”

    Zane rolled his eyes, “Don’t be so full of yourself. You’re a trainer, not a cop, so let the cops handle their jobs. Besides, I guarantee that you’ll waste more time arguing with me then battling me. This shouldn’t take long.” He smirked.

    Ethan turned his head away and Zane could tell that he was thinking it over. It only took a moment for him to give his answer, “Fine…one-on-one, let’s get this over with quickly.”

    Zane smiled to himself. In spite of the other boy’s words, he could see the battle lust glinting in Ethan’s eyes.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Two young boys stood roughly 40 feet apart from each other, staring each other down, one with an over-confidant smirk, the other sporting simply a determined mile-long gaze.

    Zane was the first to move, his finger pressing the tiny button on the Pokeball, causing it to grow from the size of a ping-pong ball to the size of a large softball.

    “ATTACK!” The red-haired trainer called out as he tossed his ball forward. There was a flash of red light and a small figure emerged, taking shape from the energy which was released by the red and white orb.

    The Pokemon which formed out of the red light was small, no higher at the top of its head then Zane’s knee. Its head was crocodilian in shape, with small fangs protruding from it’s mouth and raised eyes, designed so that it could keep it’s entire body submerged while still holdings the tips of it’s eyes out in the air.

    Totodile’s body was covered with reptilian scales, not as tough as they would be when it reached its full potential, but still strong enough to provide some protection from direct blows. From an offensive standpoint, the crocodilian possessed five tiny but very hard claws on its fingers, a jaw of remarkable power for a creature of its size, all on top of the numerous water attacks that all water types were capable of learning. Along the small water Pokemon’s back were three ridges of crimson red spines, and although its feet had not yet grown claws, its paddle-like toes and rudder-like tail would greatly aid the creature in the water.

    Zane grinned with excitement. That crazy old Professor hadn’t been lying. Totodile were amongst the rarest Pokemon in existence, and if trained properly were amongst the strongest water types in existence as well.

    The Totodile blinked in surprise and its head turned left and right slowly, taking in its new surroundings. It seemed confused, though Zane supposed that this was to be expected, considering where it had suddenly found itself.

    “TOTODILE!” Zane called out, and the bright blue reptile twisted its head around to glance at Zane, cocking its head to the side in a questioning manner.

    “To?” The creature questioned.

    “Totodile,” Zane spoke, “This is your first battle, and that is our opponent.” He pointed at Ethan.

    Totodile glanced first at Ethan, then at Zane, “To?” The small blue creature paused for a moment and then pointed, first at Zane, then at itself.

    Zane immediately understood what Totodile was trying to ask, whether or not he was going to be the Pokemon’s master. Zane nodded gravely in response.

    What happened next was a blur of motion and blue color that was so sudden that it left Zane lying down on his back with a heavy weight on his chest without any real understanding as to how he got to that point.

    “TOTOTO!” The crocodilian Pokemon called out as it nuzzled its snout against Zane’s chest, a look of elation on its face.

    “Ah ****,” Zane whispered under his breath. Just his luck he would get a Pokemon that was affectionate.

    “You know,” Ethan called out, “you don’t seem to have very good control over that Pokemon.”

    A sudden change came over the Totodile. It glanced back over towards Ethan and its eyes narrowed in a manner that looked eerily similar to its new master. The small reptile jumped off of Zane’s chest and growled ferociously at Ethan. Clearly, despite having only just recently discovered that it had a new owner, it took any perceived slight of its master as a personal offence.

    Zane rose back to his feet, “My Totodile is untrained. I’m going to use you to break him in.” He gave an arrogant smirk, “I’m willing to bet that I can still wipe the floor with you.”

    Ethan’s smirk was more fun-loving, “Well, we’re not that far off from each other. My Pokemon is pretty new as well.” He reached to his belt and retrieved the single Pokeball from its clip.

    “Lets go, Ace!” The capped boy called out as he pressed the button on the ball and a flash of red light shot out from inside.

    The creature revealed seemed slightly smaller then Totodile, though this might have been an illusion coming from the fact that this creature was hunched over and looked like it would be more comfortable running as a quadruped rather then a biped. Its eyes were closed almost to slits, and its long thin snout looked as though it would be useful in foraging for insects. Most notable of all however were the four small pads on the small creatures back, a slightly brighter shade of red then the burgundy fur that covered the creature’s back and head. Within moments of the small rodent-like creature’s release, these four pads erupted into fire.

    “A Cyndaquil, eh?” Zane deadpanned, “And you called it Ace? How original.”

    Ethan’s eyes narrowed, more in annoyance then actual anger, “Like you can talk. You haven’t even given you Pokemon a name yet. Anyways, let’s get this over with quickly, all right? ACE, ATTACK TOTODILE!”

    The fire mouse Pokemon charged Totodile in a mad sort of tackle, not yet experienced enough to use or utilize any of its elemental or more advanced moves. Totodile however was not really any more skilled then his opponent and was hit dead on with a surprising degree of force, knocking it to the ground.

    “Totodile, get up and fight back!” Zane yelled. This might be the only time that his Totodile would have the opportunity to fight a fire Pokemon without the aid of its type advantage and as such would be perhaps the best possible time to see just how naturally strong his Pokemon really was.

    Zane was glad to see that Totodile seemed to take the battle just as seriously as he was, and moved forward to attack with wild ferocity, the claws on its hands glinting in the sunlight.

    Cyndaquil has slightly more battle experience then did Totodile, and hopped out of the way of the first swipe, but took a direct hit to the face from the follow up attack, leaving three shallow cuts on its face.

    Cyndaquil wasted no time in retaliating, slamming its head forward and head butting its foe. Totodile stumbled back from the force of the blow and Cyndaquil pressed the advantage, slamming into its opponent over and over again.

    Zane cursed under his breath. Cyndaquil’s attacks were more brutal in fashion, with Totodile’s claws being far too short to do any sort of real damage. If only he knew what sort of proper Pokemon attacks his new fighter knew, then perhaps he could get somewhere.

    In the back of his mind, he remembered one of the very first lessons that his fathers tutors taught him.

    “Most Pokemon who are too inexperienced to know their own attacks, usually before level 7 or 8, will instinctively favor brawling in a manner that is somehow reminiscent of attacks that they are capable of using, but don’t know it yet. A young Pokemon who happens to have access to the move Pound, for example, will focus its brawling in the form of rough slams and punches.”

    Zane nodded and considered how Totodile had been fighting so far, with the sharpness of its claws. The red-haired boy knew of several different types of moves that involved claws, Metal Claw, Shadow Claw, Slash, Dragon Claw, but considering that his Totodile wasn’t likely to be any higher then level 5, he knew that none of these were anywhere near probable. He wracked his brain trying to remember what the lowest level of claw-based Pokemon attacks was.
    He cursed his tendency to zone out when his tutors mentioned the words “is the weakest”.

    He glanced back up and saw that his Totodile was putting up a very determined fight but was quickly being beat down. The Cyndaquil had a few more light scratches of its face, but nothing that would properly deter it, while it kept up the much more forceful tackles that were quickly taking his Totodile apart. Damn, it! He wished that his little blue croc would at least have the intelligence to use its powerful jaws, even if it didn’t yet have the experience to know instinctively to do so. It would be more effective then these pathetic scratches!

    Suddenly Zane froze. That last word in his thoughts had triggered something in him. Scratches…

    “Totodile!” Zane called out, “Use your Scratch attack!”

    The blue gator jumped back from its aggressive enemy and, almost as though unbidden if Totodile’s look of surprise was any indication, its three fingers all began to glow with a pale white light. Surprised though it may have been, it wasted no time before charging its foe and striking with its claws as hard as it possibly could.

    The difference between a scratch and a Scratch with a capital S, was astonishing. Cyndaquil was thrown back from the force of the blow, landing almost four feet away from where it had been a second before, and it took more then a little bit of effort for the fire mouse to scramble back to its feet.

    Zane grinned in triumph. That one attack had made up almost all the difference in damage between the two. He could still win this. He might even win it easily.

    Ethan raised an eyebrow, “Hey, pretty good. Since this is obviously your first battle with this Totodile, and you aren’t using a Pokedex, I assumed that you didn’t know what any of your Pokemon’s attacks would be. Either you already knew a bit about this species or your must be one clever guy.”

    Zane’s eyes narrow, “I don’t need your condescension!” he growled.

    Ethan shrugged in response, “Fine, then I’ll stop playing around. Cyndaquil, use Tackle!”

    The fire mouse charged at Totodile again, but although there was no visible energy as with Totodile’s Scratch, there was still something different about the overall feel of the attack. A sort of strength which was invisible to the naked eye but which made the hair on the back of Zane’s neck prickle in anticipation.

    “Totodile, get out of the way!

    The water Pokemon needed no further encouragement, jumping clumsily out of the way as Cyndaquil charged past him.

    “Use your attack again Totodile!”

    Once more, Totodile’s claws began to glow with a pale light as he charged. Unfortunately, Cyndaquil’s Tackle attack was not yet finished. The fire mouse pivoted with remarkable agility and charged forward, hitting Totodile directly in the chest, tossing the gator back even farther then it had been thrown by Totodile’s Scratch.

    Totodile was hurt badly, and Zane knew it. It was absolutely out of the question that he should lose this battle…this first battle…but he knew that this was going to be a hard thing to pull back from. The way that he judged it, Totodile had just one more good hit in him left before he collapsed.

    Cyndaquil had two, if he was lucky.

    “Totodile, play defense for now. Don’t let him hit you again! Only attack if you can find an opening!”

    The little croc nodded adamantly, spreading its legs out and lowering its head, as though preparing itself to sprint at a moment’s notice.

    Ethan smirked, “Ace, use your Smokescreen!”

    The fire mouse Pokemon opened up its small mouth and began rotating its head in a circular pattern. Almost immediately a thick black smoke started spraying from Cyndaquil’s mouth, coving nearly half the battlefield in an opaque smog that made seeing anything farther out then a couple feet nearly impossible.

    Zane’s eyes narrowed, “What was the point of that? If my Pokemon cannot see, then neither can yours.”

    Ethan’s confidant but amiable smirk was really getting on Zane’s nerves, “Oh, Cyndaquil doesn’t need to see. That long snout of his is like a sensor for movement. In the wild the breed usually burrows underground in the area around volcanoes and their eyesight is terrible regardless.”

    For the first time, Zane’s face adopted a look of astonishment. How the heck did this guy know that!? Did he just happen to be an expert on the Cyndaquil line? Or, more likely, did that Professor take the time to explain all of the traits and capabilities of Cyndaquil before giving it to him.

    As though reading his mind however, Ethan reached for a small, red object that was attached to his belt. Zane hadn’t noticed it before. It looked like either a highly shrunken down version of a personal laptop computer, or some sort of highly advanced smart phone. He had never seen anything like it.

    Ethan seemed to notice his look of cautious curiosity, “It’s called a Pokedex. I got it from the guy who lives in this old wooden cottage up on route 30. The guy is a genius! You just scan a Pokemon with it and it tells you basically everything that’s known on the breed. I got like 4 pages of stuff just on the behavior of Cyndaquil in the wild, plus 2 more on common battle tactics. Of course you can also set it to just hit the highlights for the heat of battle. On top of that, when you scan a Pokemon, it can give you that Pokemon’s level and all the moves that it currently knows! Awesome, right!?”

    To say that the red-haired boy was astonished would have been a vast understatement. Of course, he was also somewhat ticked and, if he were to be completely honest with himself, more then a little jealous. An object like that would not only give a person the advantage in battle, but it would also be an enormous advantage when it came to training. As far as he was concerned, the tech was out of this world as well. Of course there were machines that could do everything that he had just described, but they were so huge that they filled up entire rooms, and could ordinarily be found only at Pokecenters and the like.

    He made a mental note to make a visit to this guy on route 30 some time later.

    Zane was knocked out of his thoughts by his opponent’s call, “Ace, charge with Tackle!”

    Zane’s eyes scanned the smoky field trying to catch a glimpse of burgundy, but knew that even if he, with his higher viewpoint, could see the little rat, by the time the shorter Totodile saw it would already be too late to dodge. In desperation, he did the only thing that he could think of, “Totodile! You won’t be able to see him until he is right on top of you! Prepare a Scratch attack and
    try to time it so that you’ll hit him at the apex of his charge! With any luck you’ll knock him to the side and be alright!”

    Totodile, its loyalty astonishing for such a new Pokemon, nodded its understanding and concentrated a tiny amount of power (by the standards of well trained Pokemon, though to these neophytes it was actually quite strong) to its claws.

    Almost immediately, Cyndaquil charged out from behind the curtain of smoke. Totodile was ready for it, and almost immediately lashed out at its charging foe. The small croc’s aim was true, landing a direct strike on Cyndaquil as it was in mid-flight. Unfortunately, Cyndaquil’s own charge was not stopped. Its own momentum too powerful to be knocked away, Totodile was still hit with the full blunt force of the fire Pokemon’s attack.

    At this point, by all accounts it should have been over, the victory going to Cyndaquil. Their attacks were of comparable strength, but Cyndaquil simply had more remaining stamina. But sometimes things happen in battles that are not so easy to predict.

    Had Cyndaquil been hit by your average, ordinary, everyday attack, it would have remained standing, victorious. But it wasn’t. It had been charging at full speed when it was hit, which meant that it had suffered from not only the force of Totodile’s blow, but its own as well. The relative speed of Totodile’s claws had jumped up tremendously simply because both forces were heading directly towards each other.

    Cyndaquil had suffered twice the ordinary damage. It was what was commonly called in the trainer’s vernacular, a Critical Hit.

    Both Ethan and Zane watched the battlefield with intensity. The smokescreen was beginning to dissipate, but until then, neither could see the outcome of the battle.

    Slowly the fog lifted. Two figures could be faintly seen through the fog, roughly 4 or 5 feet from each other. The gentle breeze continued to clear up the field, but it was nearly 10 seconds still before either of the trainers could properly see the outcome.

    Both Totodile and Cyndaquil lay on the ground, exhausted and defeated. It didn’t happen often in this world, but it was an honest to goodness tie.

    Ethan let out a sigh of what looked to Zane like relief, whipping off his hat and running his fingers through his hair which looked like it had been matted down with sweat, perhaps due to the battle.

    “Well, that was certainly an intense battle. I gotta say, I haven’t lost yet, so to tie to a guy who seems like he’s just starting out, it must mean that you’re pretty darn good.”

    The raven-haired youth walked over to his downed Pokemon and gently picked it up, cradling it in his arms like one would a newborn baby and stroking its snout.

    “You did great Ace. Looks like we still got a lot to go before we’re good enough to take on whole Johto League.”

    Zane watched the whole scene with disgust. His clenched fists were actually shaking he was so mad. Somehow the idea of loosing against a guy who had a more experienced Pokemon, though distaistful, was nowhere near as bad as a tie. It was like fate was tantalizing him by allowing him to be so close to victory but at the same time dangling it just out of reach.

    And what was 1000 times worse was that his tie had to be to this...this...this damn, soft-hearted WEAKLING!!!

    Slowly, trying to restrain his temper, Zane walked over to where his Totodile lay on the ground, its eyes half closed from sheer exhaustion.

    “Get up.” Zane growled at the tiny blue creature. Totodile didn’t move.

    “Hey, what are you doing?” Ethan asked, his voice laced with repulsive concern.

    Zane ignored him, “Get up!” he spoke again, this time with much more force.

    Ethan now walked over to the redhead and placed a hand on his shoulder, the other arm still cradling his fallen fire mouse, “Stop that. Your Totodile is fainted. It can’t fight anymore and there’s no sense in pushing it.”

    Zane roughly brushed away Ethan’s hand, but otherwise continued to ignore him, “Totodile, as your master I COMMAND you to get on your FEET!”

    The gator’s body stirred, and slowly it opened its eyes and raised its head to stare at Zane. For a moment, it seemed as though it might disobey, but then it placed its little hands and legs on the ground and attempted to rise to its feet. It wasn’t having any success.

    Ethan had had enough, “Listen to me! You can’t treat your Pokemon like tha-ARGH!”

    Zane had had enough. Before Ethan could finish his statement Zane had violently slammed his elbow into the other boy’s face. Ethan fell to his butt, barely keeping his hold on his unconscious Cyndaquil. His nose appeared to be broken and his entire upper lip was covered in red.

    “Don’t you tell me how to treat MY Pokemon. I took him fair and square and he’s mine now. If you want to be one of those ‘positive reinforcement’ morons, you go ahead and do that, but that’s not how I was taught. I only care about strength, I don’t care about feel-good stupidity, and…” he turned his attention back to the Totodile, “I DON’T ACCEPT FAILURE!”

    Ethan gingerly touched his nose and then held his hand back to see the blood on his fingers. After a brief moment of shock, his face took on a look of shock, quickly followed by realization, “Took?” He repeated under his breath, “You’re the thief that attacked the Professor! That Totodile is stolen!”

    Zane scoffed, “Wow, you really are sharp. You just figure that out? I mean, how many other Totodiles can there be floating around out there?”

    Ethan was cursing himself for not having looked at the other two Pokemon in Elm’s lab. But he had felt such an immediate connection to Cyndaquil that he knew that he would never have picked any other Pokemon.

    Filled with a decent bit of anger both at Zane and at himself, Ethan scrambled back to his feet, “You’re going to give that Totodile back to me, right now!”

    Zane laughed, “Am I? Are you going to make me? Don’t be stupid, your Pokemon might have been able to match mine, but I could kill you right now if I wanted to.”

    Ethan jumped to his feet and charged at the red-haired boy, swinging his fist forward. A moment later he was curled into the fetal position on his side, gripping his stomach in pain. It had happened to quickly for him to have reacted. In the middle of his punch, Zane had grabbed his fist, elbowed him in the upper chest, and then slammed a knee into his gut.

    Zane watched his rival writhe on the ground beneath him with little satisfaction. There was nothing to be gained by breaking down such a weakling, but at the moment he didn’t want to be distracted. He turned his attention back to his Totodile.

    “Totodile, today was your first test as my Pokemon and you failed me. Now prove to me that you deserve to be my Pokemon and get BACK ON YOUR DAMN FEET!”

    Totodile’s eyes met Zane’s and it nodded in a sort of acceptance. Gingerly, the small creature steadied its large, paddle-like feet onto the ground and attempted to push itself upward. Its arms were small and its exhaustion made the going slow, but steadily the water Pokemon began to rise.

    It took longer then Zane was happy with, and it still looked as though a decent gust of wind could knock it over, but in the end Totodile was on its feet before Ethan was.

    Zane nodded, “Good enough.” And he returned Totodile to its Pokeball, “I suppose you could use a quick healing trip to the Pokecenter, then well be on our way.”

    Ethan forced himself to his feet and glared at Zane as the red-haired boy walked away, “I’ll find you again!” he called out, “And I’ll stop you, and I’ll bring the Professor his Totodile back!”

    Zane just ignored him and continued to walk away.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Lyra continued to apply the wet salve to Geoffrey’s bruised neck. Poor scientist had been essentially unharmed when the thief had attacked him from behind, but it still hurt if he moved his head around too much.

    “Lyra, it’s really okay.” The man stated, “Go see if the Professor needs you. My neck will be okay by tomorrow.”

    The girl sighed, not wanting to leave her charge, but knowing that he was right, “Okay, but if you need anything don’t be afraid to holler.”

    Although the laboratory was vast, it took Lyra only a few moments to find Professor Elm. She knew exactly where he was bound to be. As she walked into the Pokemon starter room, she saw both the figure of the man whom she had come to know as a second father speaking with a policeman. The cop was listening to Elm’s tale and taking down notes.

    “And at first I didn’t see the boy, because it was the middle of the night you see and the curtains were closed. He seemed to be able to tell where he was going though because he bolted straight for the window as soon as I walked in the room. I was able to turn on the lights and catch a glimpse of him just before he got away. I recognized him immediately because I had spoken to him earlier that same day.”

    The policeman nodded, “Can you describe him for me?”

    The Professor thought for a moment and looked as though he was blanking, “Uh, well...he had red hair and...well...I’m not sure what else to say really.”

    “I can describe him for you.” Lyra stated from the doorway, her face an indignant scowl.

    Professor Elm seemed to jump at her sudden appearance, but the policeman simply nodded at her to continue.

    “He looked like he was maybe my age, maybe a year or so older, so about 15 or 16. He was taller then most, almost a half a head taller then me. He was really lean too. And he had odd features as well, like they were soft and harsh at the same time.”

    She paused for a moment to try and think further on the thief’s features. “Uh...his face was really pale. Like the Professor said, he had red hair, and it was long for a boy, almost to his shoulders. He also had red eyes, I think, sort of creepy. He’s hard to miss with that hair of his. I think he might be from north, given how pale he was and with his red-hair. Oh, and I don’t know if he has changed his clothes yet, but he was wearing a black jacket with red lining that looked expensive and was really well fitted, and blue jeans.”

    The policeman nodded to her as he jotted down these notes, “That was quite impressive.” He stated, “We know that witnesses don’t always have the best memory when it comes to these things, but this should still give us a decent bit to go on.”

    Lyra rubbed the back of her head and looked embarrassed, “Well I met him earlier in the day and I have a nearly photographic memory so...yeah.”

    The Professor nodded, “I can attest to that. She has a history of remembering just about anything that she sees.”

    The cop looked thoughtful, “Well that certainly makes things easier. Still, I can’t promise anything. My jurisdiction only goes so far as Cherrygrove and Route 30. If he crosses into Route 31 then there is nothing that I can do other then alert the authorities of Violet City and hope that they take the time to hunt him down.” He nodded as though to himself, “I gotta say that it would sure be easier if we knew what this guy’s name was.”

    Professor Elm shook his head, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you there. I know that I probably should have gotten his name first thing when he came to my lab, but I’m not used to this kind of thing. No one has ever tried to rob me before.”

    “I understand that. Most of the crimes that I get could have been prevented except that everyone in these parts has basically the same mentality. They know that these things happen, but they think that there is no way that it could happen to them. Well if that’s all that you got, I’d better get going. Our best chance at catching this kid is if we can manage to get to him before he moves out of our jurisdiction. Violet city, despite its large size compared to here, is basically run by the monks and they don’t like to arrest people if they can help it.”

    The Professor showed his understanding and wished the officer well as he left the laboratory. After the other man was gone, Professor Elm turned back to Lyra and paused for a moment. He opened his mouth as though to say something but seemed to rethink the idea and closed it again.

    “What is it Professor?” Lyra asked after a moment of waiting.

    This question seemed to steel the Professor’s resolve and he replied with more confidence then was his norm, “Lyra, I want you to have the third Pokemon to go on your quest with.”

    Lyra was surprised, “But Professor I couldn’t! You need to have one for yourself don’t you? Now that the thief has taken one, if you give me the last one, you won’t be able to study it like you wanted to!”

    Professor Elm nodded, “This is true, but I have two reasons for doing this. First off, when it comes right down to it, field studies are more important then lab studies. It would have been nice to be able to conduct some experiments myself in the lab, but it is much more important that I get data from multiple different subjects in the field. Your experiences are bound to be different from Ethan’s, and it is important for me to be able to compare and contrast them.”

    Lyra thought about this for a moment and then slowly nodded her understanding, “Okay, I guess I understand that. But what is the other reason?”

    Elm looked rather sheepish as he responded, “I promised you that you would have one. I’m not going to break that promise just because some guy stole one of the Pokemon. By right, the third one is yours.”

    Now it was Lyra’s turn to look embarrassed as she began waving her arms in front of her face, “Oh, Professor, you don’t have to do that! I understand the circumstances!”

    Elm nodded, “I know, but I’m going to anyways. You and Ethan are both fantastic kids, and if anyone in Johto is going to be a good trainer for these Pokemon, I know that it will be you two. I just feel sorry for that poor Pokemon who has to be with that young delinquent.”

    Lyra opened and closed her mouth a few times, as thought she wanted to say something but just couldn’t quite find the right words. After a moment, she just nodded, her head drooping in a sort of partial bow, “Alright then Professor. I accept. Thank you.”

    “There is just one thing that I need you to promise me.”

    Lyra looked confused, “What is it?”

    The Professor looked worried, “I need you to swear to me Lyra, that you will not use this Pokemon to try and hunt down the thief.”

    Lyra looked as though she were about to protest but Professor Elm interrupted her, “No, listen. I know you Lyra. You’ve got a justice streak a mile long, and I know that you’ve been thinking about this. Ever since you were a little girl you were always the type of person to stand up to bullies and you usually got yourself hurt doing so. But Lyra, this isn’t some playground bully who will knock you into the sandbox but who is ultimately harmless. This guy choked out one of my scientists. He could be seriously dangerous, and I will not have you getting hurt because of this whole thing.”

    Lyra hung her head but slowly nodded, “Yeah, okay.”

    Elm placed his hands on Lyra’s shoulders, “Promise me Lyra. Please. Look me in the eye and promise me that you won’t do this. You’re like a daughter to me and I couldn’t bare it if anything were to happen to you.”

    Lyra slowly raised her head and looked directly into the man’s eyes, “I promise Professor.” She whispered.

    Content, Elm nodded, “Good. Now come on, let’s go and meet your new Pokemon!”

    Lyra nodded and followed the Professor towards the large round display that held now only a single Pokeball. She hesitated for a moment and glanced at Professor Elm, who nodded at her to continue. Gingerly she picked up the orb, feeling the weight of it in her hand, heavier then she would have expected for something so small.

    Elm smiled, “Well, let’s see then, open in up.”

    Lyra pressed the button on the front of the Pokeball, growing it to around the size of a softball. She gently tossed the ball and it hit the ground, opened with a red flash, and bounced back up into her hand.

    The Pokemon revealed by the red flash was short, the top of its head barely reaching Lyra’s knees, though the large green leaf that grew from the top of its head made it seem slightly taller. It was simple looking enough, saurian in shape, with smooth green skin that seemed to be of the same texture as the stem of a small flower. The only other distinguishing features were the large soft eyes and the ring of tiny green buds positioned in a ring around the Pokemon’s neck.

    Lyra had no idea what sort of Pokemon it was.

    “Chiko?” The Pokemon had apparently been sleeping but was now waking up.

    “Lyra, meet Chikorita.” Elm said as he grinned, “A very rare breed of grass type Pokemon.”

    Chikorita was now fully awake and on its feet, “Chiko?” It glanced at Lyra with trepidation.

    Lyra had to admit that she felt somewhat nervous herself, but she choked up a smile and reached her hand out to stroke the plant creature’s head. Chirkorita recoiled from the touch. Lyra tried again, reaching out farther, but Chikorita got to its feet and stepped back so quickly that she wasn’t able to touch the Pokemon.

    Elm chuckled, “Well, it looks like this Chikorita is rather timid. Don’t worry, she just needs to warm up to you.”

    Lyra raised an eyebrow, “She? It’s a girl?”

    Elm scratched the back of his head sheepishly, “Well, I have to admit, I’m not the leading expert when it comes to plant type Pokemon. I guess I just called the Chikorita a girl when I first found her in the woods, but I don’t think that you can really tell just by looking over the Pokemon. You’d need a DNA analyzer, which unfortunately by little lab doesn’t have.” He grinned, “I guess she just sort of seemed like a female to me.”

    Lyra decided that it was best not to be distracted by such things at the moment, and turned her attention back to Chikorita, who was now hiding behind the legs of one of Elm’s desks, peeking out every few seconds to glance fearfully at Lyra and the Professor.

    “What happened to her?” Lyra asked, “Where did you find her?”

    Elm’s face darkened, “I saved her from a poacher’s trap.”

    Lyra looked shocked, “Poachers?”

    Elm nodded, “Yeah. Chikorita are an endangered species you see, because their crown leaves are highly valued as aromatics and as a potent sleeping agent, essentially a natural anesthetic. It has, uh, other effects as well, if you heavily process it first. Makes a lot of money on the black market selling to people who can afford it and who don’t care about how illegal and unethical it is.”

    Lyra could practically feel her eyes going red. Now that she was taking a closer look, she could see the faint outline of a thin scar around Chikorita’s right hind leg, which she imagined must have fit the outline of a small toothed foothold trap. She couldn’t help but feel enraged on the behalf of the poor little creature. In her mind’s eye she saw the poacher standing over Chikorita and other small and mostly defenseless Pokemon, sadistic joy marring his face. In her vision, the man's face was that of the hated thief.

    She shook off her anger and realized that at the moment, it was less important to take out her anger on the horrible people of this world and more important to comfort the victims of those people, starting with Chikorita. She got down, sitting on her knees so as to make herself not seem so much large to the small Pokemon.

    “Come on little girl.” She spoke as softly as she could as she held her hand out, “I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.”

    Chikorita stuck her head out slightly farther, staring at Lyra’s hand, but didn’t move further.

    “It’s okay. Come on. You can trust me. I’m going to be caring for you from now on, and I’m going to make sure that nothing bad ever happens to you.”

    Now the thing about Pokemon, was that they were not really beasts in the sense that we usually think about beasts. Although they looked like types of beasts, and although they were far more instinct driven then logic driven, they were also far more intelligent then any wild animal. This was why, despite not having the proper vocal cords to speak any human language, most of them who had spent time around humans could understand human languages.

    Chikorita was not yet one of these Pokemon. For most of the grass-type's life, it had been living in the deep forests with essentially no human contact, and when it had been captured by poachers, it had been trapped in a cage for weeks without anyone speaking more then a few words around it. After the Professor had come to save it, he had tried to speak with it a few times, but he had apparently given up trying to get the Pokemon to open up to him. As such, Chikorita really had no idea what it was that Lyra was saying to it.

    However, it did understand the kindly tone of voice. It was somewhat comforted by the fact that this human seemed to be so much softer voice, appearance, and even smell then those other humans that it had met. Most importantly, its instincts were strong enough to tell that the girl’s words, whatever they meant, were honest.

    Slowly, cautiously, Chikorita moved out from behind the desk and began moving towards Lyra’s outstretched hand. Lyra felt compelled to try and move forwards herself, but also knew that any sudden movement might negate all of the progress that she had accomplished thus far and leave her worse off then when they started, so she kept still.

    It took a while, but eventually, Chikorita reached her hand and gingerly pressed its forehead into her open palm.

    Lyra smiled, “Good girl.” she whispered as she gently rubbed Chikorita’s head, “Don’t be afraid. You never have to be afraid of me.”

    Elm grinned like a child who had just been told that Christmas was coming early, “Great job Lyra!” he spoke in that odd sort of voice that was both an excited shout and a quiet whisper, trying not to startle the timid Pokemon, “I knew that you could do it! I had hoped that Chikorita might respond better to you then she did to me!”

    Letting his excitement get the best of him, Elm stepped forward just a little bit too forcefully.

    “CHI!” Chikorita jumped in shock, directly into Lyra’s arms. Lyra herself was so surprised that she nearly dropped the Pokemon. Chikorita squirmed in fear and nuzzled as deep as it could into her shirt. Dumbfounded, she held the creature as close to her as possible and rubbed it comfortingly.

    Elm glanced at her and she glanced at him. They couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Zane glanced at the shiny red object in his hand, smirking. This “Mr. Pokemon” guy didn’t want to part with the object easily, but he had been aggressively persuasive.

    Grinning, he held up the Pokeball that contained his Totodile, newly recovered from an unsuspecting nurse joy, and linked up a connection between the machine’s scanner and the Pokeball’s button.

    The dex screen flashed on and a list of schematics appeared which the machine began verbally reading to him

    “Data Acquired: Totodile, the Big Jaw Pokemon, Dex no. 158

    Gender: Male

    Nature: Adamant

    Name: Unknown

    Type: Water

    Original Trainer: Unknown

    ID No. Unknown

    Level: 6

    Battle Moves Known –

    Scratch - (Power: 40, Type: Normal, Additional Effects: None)

    Leer - (Power: 0, Type: Normal, Additional Effects: Causes fear in opponent and may reduce opponent’s defensive capabilities)

    Ability: Sheer Force (Attacks with a secondary effect are increased in power, but lose their secondary effect)”

    Zane was happy with the information. Sure, the attacks were weak, but these would be improved as he trained the Pokemon and its level was raised. This Pokemon had the potential to be a powerhouse, and when he was done with it, it would be.

    Before long, no one would be able to stop him.
    Last edited by AmericanDreamer; 15th October 2011 at 10:23 PM.
    This is me. This is my team. Fear our wrath.
    Trainer Card for my Fanfiction.
    (First line links to FF.net version of the story, second line links to Serebii.net version of the story)
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  12. #12
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    I am so glad that you posted a new chapter. For a moment there, I thought this fanfic was discontinued. But I really don't mind the wait, because hiatuses are quite common among fanfic writers. (Missingno. Master once took a ten-month hiatus from The Adventure of Adventureness, so don't worry, you're not alone. Fufufufu. )

    Time for the review to be served!

    Generally speaking, this chapter was much better than the previous two. It had a nice, long length, something I appreciate in fanfics (but I can't seem to make myself ). Its suspenseful, descriptive language really kept my eyes glued to my computer screen. Great job!

    I really liked the way everything was described here, especially the battle between Ethan and Zane, which was very suspenseful and fast-paced. I loved how you handled the battle system. Zane's personality was as bad*** as ever, which I liked. And that Lyra and Chikorita scene was cute. Your view on the intelligence of Pokemon is certainly a very creative one, so good job.

    I'm also really glad that your spelling has improved significantly, though I still spotted a few typos/commonly misspelled words.

    On to the specifics...

    Totodile’s body was covered with reptilian scales, not as tough as they would be when it reached its full potential, but still strong enough to provide some protection from direct blows. From an offensive standpoint, the crocodilian possessed five tiny but very hard claws on its fingers, a jaw of remarkable power for a creature of its size, all on top of the numerous water attacks that all water types were capable of learning. Along the small water Pokemon’s back were three ridges of crimson red spines, and although its feet had not yet grown claws, its paddle-like toes and rudder-like tail would greatly aid the creature in the water.
    I think this paragraph was a bit too overly descriptive. Remember, sometimes description is unneeded because people already know what you're talking about - I mean, everyone on these forums knows what a Totodile looks like. I think it would have been better if you had cut down on the description a little so that it is just enough to let readers know that you're talking about Totodile.

    “TOTOTO!” The crocodilian Pokemon called out as it nuzzled its snout against Zane’s chest, a look of elation on its face.

    “Ah ****,” Zane whispered under his breath. Just his luck he would get a Pokemon that was affectionate.
    Oh Zane... XD His personality is as shining silver as ever (excuse the horrible pun). C'mon, Zane, Pokemon are our friends! I was quite surprised by how quickly Totodile changed its personality though. How did it suddenly turn as bad*** as its trainer?

    ACE, ATTACK TOTODILE!
    This made me laugh, as it reminded me of a catchphrase from The Adventure of Adventureness (RAYQUAZA, DESTROY!). Oh Ethan... can't you do better than that?

    The difference between a scratch and a Scratch with a capital S, was astonishing.
    Unless you're breaking the Fourth Wall, I don't think you need the phrase "with a capital S".

    And what was 1000 times worse was that his tie had to be to this...this...this damn, soft-hearted WEAKLING!!!
    Zane had had enough. Before Ethan could finish his statement Zane had violently slammed his elbow into the other boy’s face. Ethan fell to his butt, barely keeping his hold on his unconscious Cyndaquil. His nose appeared to be broken and his entire upper lip was covered in red.
    “Don’t you tell me how to treat MY Pokemon. I took him fair and square and he’s mine now. If you want to be one of those ‘positive reinforcement’ morons, you go ahead and do that, but that’s not how I was taught. I only care about strength, I don’t care about feel-good stupidity, and…” he turned his attention back to the Totodile, “I DON’T ACCEPT FAILURE!”
    Zane's personality shows again... great job.
    (Damn, that red-haired kid is strong and violent. If I ever run into him, I'll fly away on my Articuno.)

    Now the thing about Pokemon, was that they were not really beasts in the sense that we usually think about beasts. Although they looked like types of beasts, and although they were far more instinct driven then logic driven, they were also far more intelligent then any wild animal. This was why, despite not having the proper vocal cords to speak any human language, most of them who had spent time around humans could understand human languages.
    That is a brilliant idea on the intelligence of Pokemon, so congratulations.


    -------------------------------------------

    Overall, I loved this chapter, and I hope you continue to write. I hope the next chapter is Violet City, because that's my all-time favorite city in the Pokemon world.

    EDIT: How does Zane's Totodile have Sheer Force? I thought Dream World only existed in Unova...
    I derp.

    "Don't take chances! Don't make mistakes! But get Messi, definitely get Messi!" - If Joachim Loew quoted Ms. Frizzle

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  13. #13
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    Hi!

    Yay, review!

    I noticed a couple of simple grammar mistakes, like there was one spot where you said "you" instead of "your" and at the moment I'm too lazy to go look but I know it's when Zane and Ethan are battling!

    I'm really liking the development of this story. I like that Zane is so stubborn and that essentially, he's an asshole! I couldn't believe that he hit Ethan like that! He really has a temper, which is actually believable, and I think that if Pokemon weren't such a younger based franchise, it would have been perfect for his character to do so in the games!

    I also love Chikorita so much! I'm so glad that you are using her in your story! I think you should definitely keep this up, because I like it, just don't forget to spell check and proof read, because spell check isn't person and doesn't know what exactly you are trying to say.
    Insert Cool FanFic Banner Here.
    Maybe I should start writing one of those...

    Life is a work of art, you have to paint it colorful!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    I think this paragraph was a bit too overly descriptive. Remember, sometimes description is unneeded because people already know what you're talking about - I mean, everyone on these forums knows what a Totodile looks like. I think it would have been better if you had cut down on the description a little so that it is just enough to let readers know that you're talking about Totodile.
    Yeah, I get this (and I was worried about this while writing). My reason for doing this was two-fold. First, I thought that it would be a dramatic entrance for the most important Pokemon in the story. Secondly, it was sort of done to show that the Pokemon in my story have greater detail then they actually appear in official art. In the end, however, I think that you are right, and I will hold back on that in the future...


    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    Oh Zane... XD His personality is as shining silver as ever (excuse the horrible pun). C'mon, Zane, Pokemon are our friends! I was quite surprised by how quickly Totodile changed its personality though. How did it suddenly turn as bad*** as its trainer?
    Ha! Totodile's thing is that he has essentially imprinted (like a baby duck) onto Zane the moment that he heard that Zane was his trainer. Because of this, when Ethan said something that Totodile took as being a slight against Zane, Totodile became very highly defensive.

    Basically, he went into "You no talk 'bout mah human like dat!" mode.

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    Unless you're breaking the Fourth Wall, I don't think you need the phrase "with a capital S".
    Well...I sort of was. I just wanted to make sure that I got it across very strongly how even physical Pokemon attacks are not just them brawling, and there is a very big difference between Totodile scratching his enemy and Totodile using the attack Scratch.


    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    That is a brilliant idea on the intelligence of Pokemon, so congratulations.
    Thanks I always thought that it didn't make a lot of sense, how every Pokemon in the anime can understand English (Or Japanese in the Japanese version), even if they have lived in the wild their whole lives and have no reason to have encountered any humans. I also don't like the idea of Pokemon being just dumb animals who are trained to obey their masters. This makes a Pokemon fight into animal cruelty (like a cockfight), by forcing two animals who cannot think for themselves to fight for human entertainment.

    This way, since Pokemon are logical thinking creatures who can make decisions for themselves, it becomes more like a boxing match, since the Pokemon are intelligent enough to consent to what they are doing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    Overall, I loved this chapter, and I hope you continue to write. I hope the next chapter is Violet City, because that's my all-time favorite city in the Pokemon world.
    Well, Zane will definately get to Violet City, and will go to the tower (Gym is after the tower), but I don't know how much I will be able to get into the next chapter. It depends on how much I will have written already after what comes right before Violet City.

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    EDIT: How does Zane's Totodile have Sheer Force? I thought Dream World only existed in Unova...
    Eh, I just am doing it like, the Dream World abilities are extremely rare abilities for Pokemon to have, but they are still capable of it (yeah, I'm twisting it a bit, so sue me :P )

    All in all, I am glad that you enjoyed this chapter so much, and I hope to have the next one up sooner then I did this one.
    Last edited by AmericanDreamer; 16th October 2011 at 12:30 AM.
    This is me. This is my team. Fear our wrath.
    Trainer Card for my Fanfiction.
    (First line links to FF.net version of the story, second line links to Serebii.net version of the story)
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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmericanDreamer View Post
    Yeah, I get this (and I was worried about this while writing). My reason for doing this was two-fold. First, I thought that it would be a dramatic entrance for the most important Pokemon in the story. Secondly, it was sort of done to show that the Pokemon in my story have greater detail then they actually appear in official art. In the end, however, I think that you are right, and I will hold back on that in the future...
    Got it. Lol, Totodile's like, "Look at me! I'm a star! I'm the most important Pokemon in the story!" XD

    Quote Originally Posted by AmericanDreamer View Post
    Well, Zane will definately get to Violet City, and will go to the tower (Gym is after the tower), but I don't know how much I will be able to get into the next chapter. It depends on how much I will have written already after what comes right before Violet City.
    Either way, I'm looking forward to the next chapter, because Violet City is cool. I'm also looking forward to the Sprout Tower, because Zane's going to get a "talking to" there. I wonder how he will react...

    Eh, I just am doing it like, the Dream World abilities are extremely rare abilities for Pokemon to have, but they are still capable of it (yeah, I'm twisting it a bit, so sue me :P )
    Oh, so that's why Elm was guarding his Pokemon so carefully.


    It's okay; you can take your time on the next chapter. Really, I don't mind the wait, because there are a lot of other fanfics out there to enjoy.
    I derp.

    "Don't take chances! Don't make mistakes! But get Messi, definitely get Messi!" - If Joachim Loew quoted Ms. Frizzle

    Quote Originally Posted by American--Pi View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Taavetti View Post
    Out of the three, I'd marry the soccer ball.

  16. #16
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    I like your fan fic so far, i'll be looking forward to the next chapter

  17. #17
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    Note: Done a bit faster this time, though still not as fast as I would like. Enjoy!

    Legend of Lucario: Huh...sowry bout da certinuued spellun eerers. Iil tri haerder nnot ta maek dem necst tiem

    Anyways, thanks for the review. I'm glad that you like Zane's character, considering that I really worked hard to make him seem like how he should have been in the story (had the story, as you say, not been created with younger kids in mind). Yeah, he's violent at times, especially when someone like Ethan REALLY ticks him off.

    I'm glad that you like Chikorita's character as well. I thought that it would be good to give the Pokemon a backstory and I thought that the Timid natured character would work well with Lyra's nurturing qualities. Good thing that Zane didn't get Chikorita, the results could have been catastrophic, eh?

    Articuno rocks: Yup, basically that's it Once I get more then one Pokemon in the same area at the same time, I am considering having them speak to each other and have their words translated. I want Totodile and Chikorita to have a conversation about Zane, so as that you can get into Totodile's head and really understand why he is so loyal to Zane despite Zane's...aggressive qualities.

    Sorry I couldn't get much into Violet this chapter. Next chapter will start off with a death-defying gym battle with Faulker. ONLY ONE CAN SURVIVE!!!...Okay so maybe they will both survive...but only one can win...yeah...

    And yes, that is part of why Elm was guarding those Pokemon so closely. Not only are they all exceedingly rare Pokemon, but they are unique even within their own species (you might also have noted that Cydaquil was a shiny).

    Chapter 4: Living the Good Life Badly


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Zane watched with satisfaction as his opponent's Caterpie hit the ground hard and didn't move. The battle was over before it had even begun.

    The bug-catcher kid, whose name Zane had not bothered to memorize, looked astounded, "Wow! I can't believe that you smoked my entire team with just one Pokemon! You're increadible!"

    Zane scoffed. He supposed that 'increadible' was a bit of a subjective term. Considering how pathetically weak this kid was, Zane would have been infuriated with himself if he had not defeated him. Three Caterpie and a Weedle? Worthless. If the weakling insisted on using bugs, couldn't he at least get something interesting, like a Spinarak, or at least a better trained Caterpie?

    Unfortunately, the idiot kid wasn't shutting up, "Are you going to Violet City to challenge Falkner? I don't know if you could beat him, because his skills are out of this world, but you could definitely do better then anyone else around these parts could."

    Zane ignored him as he wordlessly recalled Totodile, now tired from having soloed not one, but three trainers in a row, and removed his Trainer card from his pack.

    The bug boy's face fell, "Oh, right. Uh…I know that it's league rules that the loser of an official match give a certain percentage of their Pokedollars to the winner as a prize, but…well thing is, I'm really stressed for cash right now. Think you could overlook this one?"

    Zane's eyes narrowed, "No." he replied simply.

    "But…I mean, come on man! I'm beggin ya here!"

    "If you can't afford to lose a fight, don't get yourself into one that you can't win." Zane's voice was completely without empathy.

    The bug-catcher sighed, looked slightly upset, but retrieved his own trainer card and handed it to Zane. The red-haired boy glanced at the electronic numbers on the bottom of the card and rolled his eyes. The kid had less then 700 Pokedollars, it was almost not worth taking his percentage of them.

    Still, it was the principle of the thing more then the actual reward that mattered. The strong were always meant to dominate the weak. He swiped the two cards together, there was a brief moment where the two cards both flickered slightly and then the numbers changed. Barely over 100 of his Pokedollars had been transferred to my card.

    Finished with this pathetic excuse for a trainer, Zane tossed his card back to him and walked away. The younger boy might have said something further as well, except that there was something about Zane's demeanor that sent a chill down his spine.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Zane frowned as he watched the sun setting on the western horizon. He was still several miles from Violet City and, although he might be able to make it there by midnight, there would be no advantage to doing so, as nothing would be open at that time. Besides that, he had no desire to be sleeping in a comfortable motel or Pokecenter.

    Better to get used to roughing it.

    He found a nearby area where he could set up camp and got the fold-up tent out of his pack, quickly setting it up. He started a fire and began to heat up one of the pre-cooked meals that the old lady had stuffed in his pack.

    He had to admit, she at least had good taste in food.

    After a moment, his mind shifted towards the small creature which rested in its Pokeball at his belt. The Totodile must have been getting hungry by now, considering how much of a workout it had received.

    For all his faults, Zane knew that he couldn't let his Pokemon starve. If nothing else, it needed to keep up its energy for the battles to come. He reached for the Pokeball at his belt and tossed it lazily into the air, resulting in the now familiar red flash and the emergence of the crocodilian Pokemon.

    Totodile looked around for a moment, its eyes narrowed in determination. It took Zane a moment to realize that he was expecting a new enemy and was looking around for it, which made sense considering that every time he had called it out so far, it had been to fight.

    Good, that meant that his Pokemon was able to learn and pick up patters quickly, and that he was always prepared to fight. Traits like those were an advantage in the long run.

    "Totodile," He spoke with enough force to gain the Pokemon's attention, "It's dinner time."

    With phenomenal timing, a low grumble sounded out from the region of Totodile's stomach, "To to to!" the water type cheered, and it waddled over to sit itself directly at its master's side.

    Zane rolled his eyes, but kept his voice even, "I don't know if you can eat my cooked meat, but if not, there's a small lake over there," he gestured towards the north, where a very small lake, bordering on a pond, indeed was. It was just barely within sight in the pitch black around them, "I'm sure that you can find some fish or something."

    Totodile glanced towards the lake, then back at his trainer, then back towards the lake again, seeming to be considering his options. After a moment, the small Pokemon broke into a toothy grin and hopped to his feet.

    "TO!" The Pokemon cried out confidently, before charging towards the water. Zane took note that his fighter seemed to be lighter on his feet at higher speeds then simple walking.

    Thinking further on that idea, he decided that it might be expedient to know as much as he could about the breed, so he removed his Pokedex from his pack and booted it up.

    "For information, please scan available Pokemon, or input name of previously scanned Pokemon."

    A touch screen keyboard appeared on the bottom of the Pokedex's large screen and he typed in the name 'Totodile'.

    "Please select which characteristics of Totodile that you wish to study: Environment, Behavior, or Biology."

    Zane thought for a moment about which of these three categories would be the most valuable to him in determining what Totodile's weaknesses were, and how he could circumvent them. After a moment's internal debate, he pressed the button for behavior.

    "Totodile, the big jaw Pokemon."

    There were various pages of information here with labels that he didn't particularly care about, from social structure in the wild, to hunting behaviors (although that last one might prove useful sometime in the future, it was not what he was looking for now).

    Zane smirked when he saw the next section. This was what he had been hoping for. He took another bite of his meal and continued reading.

    "Combat Behavior: Totodile is a first level 3-stage evolution, and therefore will never achieve the same degree of power as more highly evolved Pokemon, however for a Pokemon that has not evolved, it is most notable for its high physical capabilities, more so in attack, but also in defense. Although it is a water type, which is most commonly associated with special attacks, and in particular with the Spe. Def stat, Totodile seems to be the exact opposite. If left to their own devices in battle, Totodile often preference attacks which focus around their powerful jaws, and will usually favor a typically weaker off-element attack that is physical to a stronger, same-type attack that is special, such as Cut being favored over Water Pulse. The attack which is most typically associated with the species and its evolutions is Crunch.

    Like almost all predatory Pokemon, Totodile have excellent instincts for combat, though unless guided by skilled trainers they tend to lack the experience that make wild Feraligatr so incredibly deadly. Befitting their typically aggressive characters, Totodile tend to be wild and unpredictable on the field of battle, with the exception that one can always be sure that they will fight much more offensively then defensively. It is not uncommon to see even very young Totodile with battle scars simply because they have ignored the possibility of becoming injured during fights.

    In a similar vein, Totodile are known to feel very little fear or worry when confronted with any dangerous situation. Unlike most water types which experience an ingrained sense of caution towards most grass and electric types while in battle, Totodile and its evolutions do not show any such caution.

    The weaknesses of Totodiles are few but crippling. First of all, because they have such an up-front and personal, physical bent, they have problems dealing with foes that are proficient at playing keep-away, such as fliers or particularly fast Pokemon. Because of their disregard for any sort of defensive stratagems, they also have problems dealing with Pokemon who are patient and methodical, capable of breaking them down slowly. On the flip side of this, Totodile's raw power helps them to deal with almost any wall. Obviously, Totodile tend to have problems with electric and grass types of all sorts, however if under the guidance of an intelligent trainer, they have methods of dealing with both.

    As for the most effective partners in team battles-"


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    It was a cold December evening in an area somewhere in the high north, perhaps near the Kanto or Sinnoh regions, it was hard to tell. There were mountains to the south, and an icy sea to the north, with a fast and incredibly thick forest lying in-between them, deep green coniferous trees that were blanketed in a sheet of beautiful white.

    There were no signs of civilization or humanity for miles in any direction, save one, a single building. It was an estate so huge that it towered even over the trees and would be impossible to miss from an airplane. Thankfully, no-one ever came out this far, and if they did…well…people went missing in this sort of wilderness all the time. No one would suspect any foul play if a plane didn't return when scheduled.

    Standing in the middle of the estates' grounds, knee deep in snow and dressed up in black clothing that seemed entirely too thin for this sort of climate, was a small boy, no older then 7 or 8. He had the sort of features that, although they were still very boyish, it was easy to tell would develop into a strong jaw-line and a handsome face. His hair was as red as a fresh raspberry, and a happy child-like smile donned his face.

    Even at such a young age, it was clear that this boy had been groomed for etiquette and high-society, standing up perfectly straight, his shoulders held tight and square, and reading a small black book with one gloved hand while holding the other arm across the small of his back in a very dignified way.

    A closer look would reveal that the title of the book was, "The Art of War, by Sun Tzu". He did enjoy the classics.

    A man walked out from one of the smaller side doors that lead into the main house, staggered for a moment upon hitting the wall of cold that differentiated the inside of the estate from the grounds, but quickly regained his composure and began walking towards the boy. He was an elderly man, tall and lean, with short and thin grey hair that he had slicked back and obscenely prominent cheekbones.

    "Master Zane," this man spoke, "you know that your father would not be pleased if you caught a cold and it distracted you from your studies."

    The young Zane turned his head to the man and gave a sort of cocky smirk, "A leave me alone Lawrence. Besides, with these special heated clothing that dad's scientists made, I feel as warm out here as I would in there."

    "Very well Master Zane, but I would remind you that your tutoring is scheduled to begin in half an hour."

    Zane rolled his eyes, "I know that it's a big house Lawrence, but it's not that big. I still have plenty of time."

    The old butler gave a curt nod and walked back inside, muttering something about "precocious little brats", which made Zane smile.

    "Is he gone?" another voice called out from behind a tree.

    Zane grinned and nodded, "Yeah! Come on out!"

    Another boy, roughly the same age, emerged from the bushes, his face sharper and his hair almost the complete opposite of Zane's a bright aqua blue.

    He held a compact snowball in his hand.

    "Good!" the other boy shouted as he threw the snowball with all the force that he could muster at Zane.

    The red-haired boy gleefully jumped out of the way, dropping his book and revealing that he too held a snowball in the arm that had been held behind his back, "Ha! You missed me Michael!" he called out as he tossed his own snowball, which splattered across his friend's face.

    Michael pouted as he gathered more snow into his hands, "I told you, call me Proton! That's what I'm gonna be called when I'm a Team Rocket Executive!"

    Zane got another snowball ready before Michael did, and tossed it, but this time the blue-haired boy dashed out of the way, "Don't be a moron! The Executives don't have codenames!"

    Michael tossed his ball of compact ice crystals, this time grazing Zane's shoulders, "Petrel does!" he responded.

    "Petrel is an idiot!" Zane retaliated as they continued their snowball war, "Your dad doesn't have a codename, nor does-OOF!" Michael had contacted with a particularly dense ball of ice against Zane's chest.

    "So what!" the blue-haired boy countered, "I still think that it's cool! So call me Proton!"

    Zane glared at him as he rubbed his chest and gathered up a new snowball, trying to compact it into as tight a ball as he possibly could. Unfortunately, this gave Michael ample time to do the same.

    Zane finished first, and threw the ice ball as hard as he could, hitting perfectly square against his friend's face, knocking him onto his back. Zane clutched his sides and laughed as Michael shakily stood up, his left cheek marked so pink it was nearly red. The blue haired boy grabbed his own snowball, which was even denser then Zane's had been, and chucked it with all his might, not even bothering to aim in his anger.

    Zane thought that all of this was quite amusing until he heard the sound of expensive pottery shattering behind him. A cold chill ran down his spine as he turned to look at what had happened, even though he knew full well, he had to see it before he could really panic.

    And of course, he had been right. One of the several vases which had been placed upon short pillars around the perimeter of the paved pathways had been knocked off of its pedestal and shattered.

    Michael bolted, running into the estate through a side door and leaving Zane alone, frozen with shock and fear. As another door from a different side of the house opened, Zane broke out of his stunned state, but it was too late, a harsh hand had grabbed his shoulder and roughly began pulling him away, into the main house.

    "You wait till your father sees this!" A shrill voice rang in his ear.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Zane's eyes opened wide and he shot up, a sort of cold sweat covering his forehead. It took him a moment to realize where he was, the extinguished embers of the fire that he had set last night still emitting just a slight bit of heat and smoke. His new Pokedex lay in his lap, still open but its screen blank, gone to a sleep mode from too much time of inactivity.

    He must have fallen asleep while reading his Pokedex last night, and began dreaming. He was somewhat surprised really, that he had dreamt about that time…so long ago. He had made a decision to put his past behind him, and he felt somewhat angry with himself for allowing even his subconscious mind to dwell on it.

    A pungent smell hit his nostrils and he turned to see a rather large, half-eaten fish lying in his lap, staining his pant's legs. He roughly shoved the object away and then realized that there was another weight on him, this one pressed into his side.

    He turned to see Totodile, sleeping soundly and curled up into Zane's side, the Pokemon's little chest rising and falling in perfect rhythm and a look of contentment on its little face.

    It took a moment for Zane's still groggy mind to make sense of what he was seeing. Totodile must have curled up and slept next to its Zane when it had not been able to return to its Pokeball. Zane could only assume that it had caught the fish and eaten half of it before trying to present the other half to Zane in a misguided show of affection.

    Zane harshly shoved the small Pokemon away from him and pulled himself to his feet. Totodile was violently woken up and, clearly still half-asleep as well, it wobbled slightly as its head swiveled in all directions, attempting to find whatever threat to its master had woken it up.

    "Totodile," Zane spoke in his commanding tone, and the crocodilian immediately shifted its full attention to him, "today we train. I've been thinking about what the dex said about your species' weaknesses and I don't know if you can beat Faulkner, a guy who is well known to be a master of flying Pokemon. So we're going to correct that problem. Today you are going to get special training to help you defeat Faulkner's birds."

    Totodile seemed to be confused for a brief moment, before its face hardened up in determination and it nodded, "TO!"

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    "PULL!" Zane called out as he tossed another Frisbee into the air. On the other side of the small lake, Totodile watched as the red disc flew through the air, and at just the right moment released a high-pressure jet of water from its snout, a shot which went more then a couple feet wide of its intended target.

    Zane cursed and reached into his bag, pulling out his tenth and final Frisbee. So far Totodile had managed to hit only one of them. Zane wasn't going to let up until his Pokemon's accuracy was perfect.

    "PULL!" he called once again, tossing the last disc, and hoping that there had been some marginal improvement. Totodile's Water Gun went even wider then the last shot.

    Zane groaned. He signaled for Totodile to collect all of the discs which had fallen into the lake, and he went to grab the couple that had fallen on land.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Yesterday, at sunset-

    Lyra hit the ground for the third time today, her foot caught underneath a tree branch, and she spit dirt from her mouth as she silently cussed…or, as close as she was capable of coming to cussing, which was something akin to "darn it!"

    A pair of long, thin vines sneaked their way around her shoulders and waist and gently, almost lovingly, pulled her off of the ground and placed her back onto her feet.

    Lyra smiled at her partner, "Thank's Daisy."

    The Chikorita, newly christened Daisy, smiled sheepishly at her partner. "Chiko, chiko," she replied, which Lyra took to mean, "I'm glad to help."

    Lyra knew that she had left abruptly. To be quite honest, she wanted to get out of there before Ethan arrived. She knew that he was the only one who had the potential to talk her out of what she was going to try and do, and she didn't want that. It hurt her to not be able to say goodbye, but if she were going to hunt down this thief, she couldn't afford to do it willy-nilly.

    She knew that she was the only one who would be able to do this as well. If he were following the league path, he would already be getting to Violet City soon, and the police wouldn't be able to do anything about it. She had visited Violet City before, on a fieldtrip with the professor, and she knew that the police in Violet were all controlled by the monks, who were big time pacifists and wouldn't be likely to force the thief to do anything.

    And she couldn't ask Ethan to do anything about it, because he would. And quite honestly, she had no doubt that he would succeed as well, because that was what Ethan did. She had never met anyone in her life before who was so exceedingly competent and everything that he did, and if he had to follow the thief to the ends of the earth in order to track him down, he would.

    But Ethan had his whole incredible life and career ahead of him. The league only lasted for one year, and if Ethan was too distracted to be able to finish it in time, then he would have to wait another entire year before his dreams could be fulfilled. Lyra's friend was going to be the champion, and she wouldn't let anything get in the way of that.

    She really never had a chance at being champion anyways. She was just in this to have fun. She didn't need a timeline or a league to do that. She would have plenty of time after this boy was caught.

    She had to admit, she felt bad about lying to the Professor, but it had to be done. He wouldn't understand.

    "Chiko?" She heard from behind.

    "Don't worry Daisy. I've hiked to Cherrygrove so many times I could find my way in my sleep. We should be there before too long."

    "Chi ko ko Chi?"

    Lyra smiled, "Yes, I know that it's late, but don't worry. Route 29 is perfectly safe."

    Daisy nodded, and hopped forward slightly so as to catch up to her human partner. Lyra glanced at the setting sun and had to admit, she had never traveled this path at night before. The sun was going to set almost an hour before they reached Cherrygrove. She sighed, and realized that she hadn't really thought this plan out thoroughly. She would have to find a way to get some supplies when she reached Cherrygrove.

    Not so easy to do when you considered that she had almost no money.

    Lyra was broken out of her thoughts by a rustling in the bushes and she froze for a moment. Daisy had sensed the movement a moment before Lyra had heard it and the timid look had returned to her face. The Pokemon's first instinct was to run, but then it glanced at its trainer and cautiously stood its ground.

    The bushes rustled and a purple figure, even smaller then Daisy, hopped out.

    Lyra let out a sigh of relief. It was just a Rattata. They weren't seen as often as Sentret in these areas, but they were far from rare, and although they were aggressive in nature, a lone Rattata posed no threat to anyone. Lyra berated herself for being so jumpy.

    "Come on Daisy," Lyra spoke evenly, "just ignore it."

    Suddenly there was another rustling, and a second Rattata hopped out from the bushes. Lyra was somewhat surprised. She had never seen more then one Rattata in the same place before. Still, it was no big deal.

    "Let's keep moving Daisy."

    But Daisy wasn't moving. Indeed, the Chikorita seemed to be frozen in fright. She seemed to want very badly to run, but at the same time wasn't about to desert her new partner. Slowly, her leaf began spinning in a manner that clearly said to back away, unless you were prepared to deal with what Chikorita had in store.

    "Daisy, what's wrong?"

    Before she could get a reply, there was another rustling, and a third Rattata appeared. Then, as if from nowhere, a forth one appeared. By the time the fifth one showed up, Lyra had realized why Daisy had been so frightnened.

    Before long there were over a dozen pairs of eyes, glowing faintly yellow as the sun was just barely peeking out from the horizon and staring directly at the two of them, with an intent that Lyra didn't need to guess at. The sun and the light would be gone in less then ten minutes.

    The rat Pokemon all screeched simultaneously and charged at the pair. Lyra screamed and backed up so quickly that she again tripped over a jutting tree branch and fell onto her back.

    Daisy swung her head-leaf at the attacking Rattata and a single green object, like a bladed discus, flew out from it and struck the attacker dead on, knocking it to the ground in mid-jump.

    The Rattata slowly stood up and glanced at its cut paw, the edges tinted with a sort of greenness that looked unpleasant. The Rattata glared briefly at the two intruders.

    "RATTATATTA RAT!"

    Like a crushing purple wave, dozens of the little mouse Pokemon charged at the pair.

    "DAISY, RUN!" Lyra yelled as she scrambled to her feet, took a second to make sure that the grass Pokemon was following, and bolted into the forest.

    The girl could feel her heart pounding in her chest and a cold sweat of fear broke out on her face. She felt a branch whip across her face and a warm liquid rolled down from her forehead which she tried to ignore.

    She dared not stop to look back, but every so often, she heard Daisy yell out, which would invariably be followed by the cry of a Rattata that she assumed had just been taken out by the Chikorita's Razor Leaf attack.

    The sun fell behind the horizon and Lyra found her eyesight increasingly worsening. She couldn't run like this forever, she had to find a place to take shelter or she would be running blind. On top of that, every step that she took threw her deeper into the forest, and farther from the path that she was familiar with.

    Before long, it would be impossible for her to find her way back home. Still she ran.

    "CHI!" Daisy called out, this time in pain rather then as a battle cry. Lyra stopped in her tracks faster then she would have thought possible and swiveled around.

    Daisy had two Rattata on her back, both of which were gnawing at her leaf and scratching at her back.

    "GET YOUR DIRTY CLAWS OFF HER!" Lyra screamed as she charged to her Pokemon's defense, whipping off her backpack and using it as a flail to whip the wild rats off of Daisy's back.

    "RATTATTATA!"

    Almost immediately, they were surrounded. The Rattata encircled them and, although it was now totally dark without even the luxury of a moon to provide a nightly glow, it was clear from the glowing eyes that surrounded them that there were at least 3 dozen strong surrounding them.

    Lyra was by now shaking, partially from the piercing cold, partially from the fear. Her eyes darted back and forth trying desperately to find a way out. There was none to be found. She kneeled down to the ground and scooped Daisy into her arms and held her close, protectively, like a mother shielding her baby from all the world's dangers.

    A single Rattata broke ranks and took a step forward, hissing, and seeming to be slightly larger then the rest of them. Lyra attempted to glare the Pokemon down, but was unsuccessful. She was too afraid.

    The Rattata leaped at her. She screamed and turned away, holding her arms above her face.

    As if from nowhere, a wave of heat washed over her, so potent that it sucked the air right out of her lungs and she stumbled back and hit the ground, coughing and chocking. A blazing red light had her blinded for a brief moment, and she was so disoriented that she hadn't an honest clue as to what had happened.

    As her senses started to return to her, she could see the arc of fire that made a wall between her and the small purple rodents, the figures of which she could just make out scattering and dashing away from the fire.

    A few of the more bold Rattata remained, dashing around the fire and grouping together, apparently ready regroup and attack, but before they could make a move, a new figure appeared.

    Although this newcomer was distorted by the light and fumes of the flames, Lyra could tell that it was a quadruped, tall and lean with long legs, like a dog, but also sporting a pair of large curved horns, wicked looking, like a demon's.

    "HOOOOOOOUUUUUND!" this hellhound called out, and fired a blast of concentrated flames at the remaining Rattata, and charged them. They scattered and fled like dust motes in the wind.

    Lyra gazed at the hellish figure as it stood at the spot where the Rattata had stood just a moment ago. After what seemed like an hour but was likely only a few seconds, it turned its head and stared right back at Lyra.

    The irises were dual colored, red around the outside and yellow closer to the pupil, and they glinted with intelligence and unknown intent. They were the eyes of a devil the likes of which Lyra hadn't imagined could ever have possible existed.

    She screamed. With Daisy held snug in her arms, she ran.

    She hadn't taken more then a step before she slammed directly into another figure, a tall man, his face shrouded in shadow with a chest like a brick wall. His arms shot towards her powerful hands gripped her shoulders. She reacted the only way that seemed to make sense at this time, lashing out and scratching at his face with all the force that she could muster.

    "WHOA THERE!" The man called out, stumbling back from her and dropping her like she was a hot coal. Her legs gave out from beneath her but the man caught her before she hit the ground again.

    "Don't be afraid kiddo, Sammy ain't gonna hurt ya." Was the last thing that she heard before she blacked out.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Back to present day –

    Zane swam, his arms and legs moving with perfect synchrony as he attempted to reach the bottom of the small lake, his progress hampered by the fact that the water was too murky to see more then a foot in front of his own face.

    A Poliwag swam past him but ignored his presence. After a few seconds, his hand touched dirt and he immediately began searching around with his arms, his eyes useless. After a moment, he found what he was looking for, a mass that was too heavy for its size, a mass which he struggled to lift out of the dirt.

    After a moment of struggle, he freed the object and began swimming to the surface, his going slower then it had been going down because of the weight of the object in his hands. There was a light above him which seemed to resist coming any closer, and by now his lungs were starting to protest the lack of fresh oxygen. He knew he only had so much time before his body would begin to convulse and if he didn't get to the air soon after that, he would be in serious trouble.

    Just before he started to feel as though he might have bitten off more then he could chew, he broke the surface, and immediately took in a deep breath of fresh air. He treaded water for a brief moment before slipping a cloth harness attached to the object that he had retrieved around his shoulders and began swimming back to shore.

    He hit dry ground and immediately placed the object down before climbing out of the water himself.

    "Toto." A weak sound came from the thing that he had retrieved from the bottom of the lake.

    Totodile was heavily panting, seemingly exhausted. Zane glared at his Pokemon, angry with how quickly the creature had run out of stamina. He had honestly been hoping for better then this. He grabbed for the lead ball that he had tied around Totodile's middle and rose to his feet.

    "Get up." He ordered, "You're a water, type. You should be able to swim for longer then that with a little weight on you."

    Totodile nodded, and pushed itself back onto its feet, clearly very tired. It looked up at Zane and grinned in determination, despite its master's harsh words.

    Zane rolled his eyes, "Just get back to the accuracy training. That'll be more important when we go up against Falkner anyways."

    Totodile nodded and Zane began walking towards the camp where he had placed the stack of frisbees, when a screeching noise shot out across the sky, freezing him in his tracks.

    Three birds flickered through the air above them, two Pidgey and, to Zane's surprise considering that he didn't think that they lived in the area, a Spearow. The birds ignored Zane and Totodile completely, the two ordinarily less fierce birds ganging up on the single one.

    Zane grinned. Sometimes perfect opportunities just fell into a person's lap.

    "Totodile!" he called out, "Change of plans! Use your Water Gun to target those flying Pokemon! Knock them out of the sky!"

    Totodile gave a nod of confirmation, and turned his head to the sky, "TOTO!" he called out as he fired a small but high-pressured jet of water at the flying trio.

    The attack missed any of the three birds, but managed to cut in-between them, breaking up the air-brawl. The three Pokemon immediately stopped their fighting and turned to stare at Totodile from the air. Their infighting forgotten, they dive-bombed the mini-croc.

    "PIDGEY!" The closest of the three screamed out, its head glowing ever so slightly in what Zane recognized as a Tackle attack.

    "TOTODILE, ATTACK WITH WATER GUN AGAIN! KNOCK HIM OUT OF THE SKY!"

    The Pidgey was hit head on only a few feet before it reached Totodile, and knocked off of its course it spiraled its way to the ground, crashing spectacularly.

    Almost immediately the other Pidgey and the Spearow were on Totodile, scratching and pecking as angry birds were want to do. Totodile threw its small arms up in defence, but there wasn't really much that he could do.

    "Totodile!" Zane called, "Take sanctuary under the water!"

    Happily obedient as ever, Zane's Pokemon charged for the lake, leaping in and leaving the two flying Pokemon scratching at nothing. They flew up above the body of water and began circling like hunters.

    Zane cursed, being a water type, Totodile could hold his breath submerged for nearly a half-an-hour, but at this point, they were at an impasse. The croc couldn't fight back where he was, and if he tried to return to land, the birds would be on him before he could reorient himself. If only Zane could think of a way to send instructions to Totodile from where they both were.

    After a few moments, Totodile erupted from underneath the water with a large splash, and immediately the birds were upon him again. With surprising dexterity, Totodile clamped its jaws around the remaining Pidgey's wings and jumpred right back into the wate.

    Zane was pleasantly surprised. Had he been able to speak with Totodile, this would have been exactly what he would have suggested. Totodile had an instinct for battle.

    After a moment, the second Pidgey appeared on the water's surface, unconscious but alive. Zane smirked. Now Totodile had the advantage.

    When the water Pokemon broke onto land again, the Spearow was ready, charging down with its beak aglow, clearly prepared to deliver a Peck attack that, at Totodile's current strength would be reasonably damaging.

    Zane was ready as well however, "Totodile, use your scratch attack!"

    The croc turned to meet the bird's attack head on, his own claws glowing with a similar faint light as Spearow's beak. Spearow was fast, but Totodile was faster, catching his opponent head on with what was at their level a devastating attack.

    Badly injured and hanging onto its strength by the skin of its teeth, Spearow attempted to retreat, flying high up into the sky and arcing away from the spot on the ground where Zane and Totodile stood.

    Zane gave a feral smirk, "Totodile, finish it off with Water Gun!"

    Totodile obediently sucked in a puff of air and let loose a single shot of water from its snout. His aim was perfect, striking Spearow down in mid flight. Zane smirked in vicious triumph as he watched Spearow spiral down to earth and land with a heavy thud.

    Zane glanced around the battle field, taking note of the three downed bird Pokemon, and he smirked. Totodile waddled over to him and looked up at him, smiling, clearly hoping for some praise.

    Zane thought for a brief moment, almost not saying anything, but then he grumbled out, "Alright, you did well enough for now. We're done here." He supposed that his Pokemon at least deserved that.

    Quickly taking out his Pokeball, Zane returned Totodile and nodded to himself.

    "Next stop, Violet gym."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Lyra groaned as she pulled herself into a sitting position. She felt oddly tired for having just woken up, and it took her a moment to get her bearings.

    She heard a sound somewhere off to her right, "Chiko?" and turned to see what it was. Her groggy mind couldn't quite make out the green shape that was placed directly at her side, but she could feel it nuzzling into her shoulder.

    Suddenly the events of the previous night came back to her and shock and fear brought her back to alertness.

    The room was simple and conservative, like the kind that you might expect to see in an older house, owned by older people. The walls were covered with a lavender patterned wallpaper, but the first thing that she noticed was the pictures of the little girl with grey hair that adorned the walls and the dressers.

    "Chiko?" She heard again, and she immediately shifted her attention to the little green creature that was still nuzzling into her with as much desperation as it could muster.

    "DAISY!" Lyra called out in relief as she wrapped her arms around the joyful little Pokemon. She felt infinitely better knowing that her partner was still with her. Clearly whoever had brought her out of the forest didn't intend her any harm, or they'd have taken her one defense away from her.

    "Do you know where we are girl?" She asked Daisy, "What happened to the Rattata?"

    "Chiko, chi chi ko ko chi Chiko ri chi ta. Chi rita rita ko!" Lyra blinked, having not understood a word of what her partner had said. She knew that some trainers who had been with their Pokemon for a long time could understand every word that they said, as though they were speaking plain English.

    Apparently, she was not yet at that level.

    Suddenly and without warning, there was a gentle knock at the door, "You up yet little lady?" a voice from the outside spoke, "All right if I come in?"

    "Um, yes, okay." Lyra responded, still slightly apprehensive.

    The door creaked open, revealing a tall and strong looking middle-aged man with a farmer's tan, salt-and-pepper hair, and kind eyes.

    "So then you're up, are you?" the man stated, smiling, "I must say you gave my and the missus quite a fright passin' out like that. You feeling alright kiddo?"

    Lyra couldn't help but smile at the aura of sheer good-natured friendliness that seemed to ooze out of this man's pores.

    "I'm alright." She responded, "Just a little shaken. Can you tell me what happened after I passed out?"

    The man nodded, "Absolutely, but first thing's first. My name is Samuel, Sam for short. Get yourself cleaned up, and then come down for some of the missus' homemade cooking."

    Lyra smiled and nodded, "Yes, alright. And thank you."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Ethan walked alongside the Professor, recounting his story. He told of the battle and the boy, of the beating that he had been given afterwards and how much more it had hurt to see the boy mistreating Totodile.

    "So, let me get this straight," Elm responded as they made their way down the laboratory hallway, "You actually encountered this boy and actually battled him yourself."

    Ethan nodded, "Yeah, and I don't know if it was just because he had such a strong Pokemon with him, but he was way stronger then any of the other trainers that I've battled so far. We tied in the battle, but after I realized who he was, I wasn't able to detain him." Ethan slowly shook his head, "The guy was brutal. He knew how to fight and he didn't have any hesitations about beating my face in. The police won't catch him easily."

    Elm had a look of despair on his face, "This is truly terrible. I can't even begin to imagine how he'll treat my poor Totodile!" A thought seemed to occur to him, "Did you perchance manage to get a name for this guy?"

    Ethan nodded, "Yeah. I saw his trainer card. Said his name is Zane."

    The Professor nodded, "Well, that's at least one piece of good news. If nothing else perhaps it can help the police."

    Ethan looked as though he was itching to leave, "Professor, where's Lyra?" he asked.

    Elm shrugged, "She's around here somewhere, I'm sure. She was sort of put out when I told her not to go looking for this thief so she sulked off somewhere. I decided it was best to let her have her privacy while she brooded."

    It took Elm a moment to realize that Ethan had stopped walking alongside him, and he turned his eyes back to see the boy standing still as a statue, a look of sheer terror on his face.

    "Ethan?"

    The boy broke out of his trance, "ARE YOU CRAZY!" he screamed out, causing Elm to fall back onto his rear in shock, "YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S LIKE! YOU TELL HER THAT AND SHE'S SURE TO RUN OFF AND TRY SOMETHING CRAZY!"

    Elm was stunned, "But, Ethan, come now! Lyra is a smart girl. She wouldn't just take off after this Zane boy!"

    Ethan shook his head, "You don't know her like I do. That's exactly what she would do." He turned and ran for the front door, "I need to catch up to her!"

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Zane glanced around at the city of Violet, noting how very different it was in so many ways to those silly little towns of Cherrygrove and New Bark. It still had nothing on some of the larger cities in Johto, but at least it wasn't so disgustingly folksy. Having never actually been here before, he noted the eastern inspiration for the city's buildings and structures, which might not have been very important but at least it was mildly interesting.

    Of course, most importantly of all was the Gym, which he was currently standing before right now.
    This is me. This is my team. Fear our wrath.
    Trainer Card for my Fanfiction.
    (First line links to FF.net version of the story, second line links to Serebii.net version of the story)
        Spoiler:- Credit for stuff:

  18. #18
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    YEAH! New chapter! Onto the review...

    - This chapter was really nicely written, and it seriously sounded like the work of a professional writer, so great job. Your spelling has definitely improved, but please continue to proofread and use Spell Check. That way, your spelling will get much better.

    - I like how you change POVs a lot, going from Zane to Ethan to Lyra. I hope you continue to do this, because now I'm wondering what would happen to Lyra if she encounters Zane... *shudders*

    - Zane and Totodile's training session was definitely very interesting. It really shows Zane's tendency to push his Pokemon really hard, and Zane using the frisbees as targets was a creative idea. I was kind of pissed that Zane used innocent little Flying-type Pokemon as target practice (because I love Flying-types), but hey, that's Zane's nature.
    Angry Birds reference hahaha.

    - My favorite part of this chapter had to be Zane's dream. Aww... seven-year-old Zane and Michael/Proton were so adorable. ^.^ I had to laugh at Michael insisting on being called "Proton" and Zane calling Petrel an idiot. But I do have a question... in HGSS, Proton's pretty much a young adult (about 18-20 or something), while Zane is at most 13. Did you change the ages of everyone here?

    - Hmm... Samuel is taking care of Lyra the way he took care of Zane... interesting. I wonder what this will lead up to.

    ---------------------------------------

    All in all, excellent chapter, and I really didn't mind that Violet City wasn't featured much. *squeals in excitement* I'm REALLY looking forward to the Zane's first gym battle because Falky is hot awesome. <3 But don't worry, you can take your time... *tries hard to sit still*

    (And by the way, it's Falkner, not Faulkner. Don't worry too much; it's a common mistake. )

    ~Articuno
    I derp.

    "Don't take chances! Don't make mistakes! But get Messi, definitely get Messi!" - If Joachim Loew quoted Ms. Frizzle

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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    YEAH! New chapter! Onto the review...

    - This chapter was really nicely written, and it seriously sounded like the work of a professional writer, so great job. Your spelling has definitely improved, but please continue to proofread and use Spell Check. That way, your spelling will get much better.
    *AYUK* Gawrsh! Thanks for the high praise. I'm glad that you enjoy my work!

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    - I like how you change POVs a lot, going from Zane to Ethan to Lyra. I hope you continue to do this, because now I'm wondering what would happen to Lyra if she encounters Zane... *shudders*
    Oh don't worry, she'll definately encounter Zane It will be something to remember for sure.

    Most of the time, I'm going to be focusing on Zane's POV, although I will also be using Lyra's quite a bit, and Ethan's occasionally. I might do a bit more POV jumping in the future, but I doubt it will be as much because Lyra is going to be following Zane around for a while.

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    - Zane and Totodile's training session was definitely very interesting. It really shows Zane's tendency to push his Pokemon really hard, and Zane using the frisbees as targets was a creative idea. I was kind of pissed that Zane used innocent little Flying-type Pokemon as target practice (because I love Flying-types), but hey, that's Zane's nature.
    Angry Birds reference hahaha.
    Oh yeah, Zane pushes everyone really hard, himself included (as you will come to see).

    Yeah, I thought that playing target practice with frisbees would be a really good training for trying to hit a flying Pokemon. You need to be a pretty good sniper to shoot a bird down with a water gun after all

    Also, while I am a big videogamer, I don't know what the refference to angry birds is. Never played it. Sorry...

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    - My favorite part of this chapter had to be Zane's dream. Aww... seven-year-old Zane and Michael/Proton were so adorable. ^.^ I had to laugh at Michael insisting on being called "Proton" and Zane calling Petrel an idiot. But I do have a question... in HGSS, Proton's pretty much a young adult (about 18-20 or something), while Zane is at most 13. Did you change the ages of everyone here?
    I had thought that this part might have been rather popular. Zane will be having a few more flashbacks as the story progresses, and they will give some real insight into why he is the way that he is.

    As for Proton's and Zane's ages, I don't know if it ever actually states how old Proton is, does it? I always thought he seemed much younger then the other executives, and roughly the same age as the protagonists (of course they look much older then they are supposed to be as well). Either way, in my story, the main characters are older then in the games (16-17-ish), and Proton is pretty much the same age as Zane.

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    - Hmm... Samuel is taking care of Lyra the way he took care of Zane... interesting. I wonder what this will lead up to.
    Yeah, Samuel and Christine are good characters, and I thought that it would be a good way of showing the major juxtiposition between Lyra and Zane by having them both in the same situation, and reacting to it in a totally different way

    ---------------------------------------

    Quote Originally Posted by Articuno_rocks View Post
    All in all, excellent chapter, and I really didn't mind that Violet City wasn't featured much. *squeals in excitement* I'm REALLY looking forward to the Zane's first gym battle because Falky is hot awesome. <3 But don't worry, you can take your time... *tries hard to sit still*

    (And by the way, it's Falkner, not Faulkner. Don't worry too much; it's a common mistake. )

    ~Articuno
    Don'chu worry, the gym battle is the first thing coming up, then the tower. Lyra and Zane will meet up again quite soon

    Falkner...Cuuuuuuuuuurrrsseeeeeeeeeeeees.......
    Last edited by AmericanDreamer; 24th November 2011 at 3:27 AM.
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  20. #20
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    I must say, fpr what I've sen there has been some improvement!

    Your grammar wasn't too bad this time at all! There might be a few errors but once again I'm kind of feeling lazy and won't go into too much detail (that and I have no details to point out specifically because I didn't see anything!)

    I enjoyed the flashback with Proton in Sinnoh. That was actually somewhat unique to me seeing that they lived in Sinnoh and I love that you included Proton into this, especially seeing that he is somewhat significant to the HG/SS storyline!

    Sorry this took me so long, I shouldn't let myself get so busy in other things!
    Insert Cool FanFic Banner Here.
    Maybe I should start writing one of those...

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  21. #21
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    Default Review!!

    First off I'll start by saying that I just found this and like your fic so far. It's really interesting to see that you focus on the rival which is something I've always wondered about, like what they went through and the events that surrounded them. Your writing is also so well written that I only noticed minor puncuation errors like commas or a misplaced word but it didn't have enough significance that I'd nit-pick. So to review standout things:

    Chapter 1

    "Listen Prof., I have plans, you hear? I'm gonna be the very best, like no one ever was! The strong survive, and the weak perish, and I'm the strongest guy there is,
    Looks at the boy as a combo ash wanting to be the best with the epicness of Gary mother f'ing Oak.

    Chapter 2:

    The Professer was still rubbing his eyes, and wearing what looked hilariously like pink pajamas with a singing Jigglypuff print.
    Hm... I think that maybe his mother bought those for him otherwise, I'm creeped out o_O.

    "No, you listen. I can tell that you don't like being helped, I can tell that for some reason you think that it's some sort of a sign of weakness, but that isn't what this is. I'm an old woman and my grandaughter is far away and doesn't need me any more. You can go off and do whatever you like, but it's my perogative to dote on the occasional child who shows up on my doorstep." She smiled pleasantly, "So shut up and thank me and be on your way."
    You can't say no to old ladies, trust me I have tried repeatedly with no success.

    "Our Grandaughter is a trainer as well. She's doing well if her letters are any indication, and she sends us Pokemon every so often to help us out on the farm.
    Yeah, our little girl has a fondness for dark types,
    Okay, even with this great hint it still took me five minutes before I realized who their granddaughter is.

    "Zane."
    The rival always get the bad*** name but still only second to Gary Oak.

    Chapter 3:

    “Like you can talk. You haven’t even given you Pokemon a name yet.
    So will totodile get an awesome nickname to go with the epicness that is Zane?

    “Ah ****,” Zane whispered under his breath. Just his luck he would get a Pokemon that was affectionate.
    My exact thought on the subject

    a slightly brighter shade of red then the burgundy fur that covered the creature’s back and head.
    Have to admit I didn't realize it was a shiny right from the start.

    Chapter 4:

    "Wow! I can't believe that you smoked my entire team with just one Pokemon! You're increadible!"
    Of course he is Zane equivalent to the likes of Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Gary Oak in terms of being a total bad*** while you are a lowly bug catcher.

    The league only lasted for one year, and if Ethan was too distracted to be able to finish it in time, then he would have to wait another entire year before his dreams could be fulfilled. Lyra's friend was going to be the champion, and she wouldn't let anything get in the way of that.
    So I'm wondering, will the league be tournament style we see in the anime/manga and not be straight to the E4 then?

    Other things I enjoyed was the flashback which showed that Zane was nice in his younger days and that Totodile is learning at a fast pace on how to own other pokemon with water gun.

    I look forward to reading more and love the change in perspective of the characters like the manga showed at times. Keep up the good work.
    Thanks, to the awesome artist of our clan, Team Nightmare, zek4040 for this AMAZING banner.



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