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Thread: The Legend of the Tao Trio

  1. #1
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    Default The Legend of the Tao Trio

    PM List:     Spoiler:- Here:




    Okay, this is my first Fan Fic, so help is appreciated. This is based off of the Tao Trio(AKA, Zekrom, Reshiram, and Kyurem).
    Rating: PG for Violence(In later chapters)


    Chapter 1: Icy Tales

    “Once upon a time, there were two twins. They controlled a single powerful Dragon Pokémon which they used to create the Unova region. The brothers each sought something different in life *truth for the older brother and ideals for the younger* and they began to argue, then fight, over who’s side was right. The single dragon, in response, split into two Pokémon: Reshiram, who sided with the older twin, and Zekrom, who sided with the younger twin. The two dragons were equally matched as they battled and neither conquered the other. As a result, the brothers set aside their differences, and equally declared there was no right side. But the partners of the heroes resumed the fight, and Reshiram and Zekrom destroyed the region with their fire and lightning powers. The corpse of the original dragon was frozen over as timed passed, eventually being frozen solid in the blizzard it sat in. As the two dragons’ strongest attacks collided, the blast covered all of the land, breaking the ice that was frozen over the body. The original dragon awoken, it’s giant body frozen from the inside. It let out an ear splitting screech that was so powerful that it caused the two dragons to reform into small orbs. It then sealed the two orbs into 2 different towers as punishment, and they were never seen again. The new Ice dragon then created a cavern, which it rested, and still rests in to this day.”

    “Wow! That was amazing!” Whispered Zack.

    “It’s called the Tao Trio Legend. I learned it from my Grandmother.” Said the elderly Froslass.

    “What is the new dragon’s name, and does it still exist?”

    “It’s name was Kyurem, and legend has it that it still rests in a closed up cave in this area.”

    “Do you think I’ll ever see it?”

    “Who knows? Maybe you will! They say if you hear it’s screech, the entrance to it’s cave will be opened.”

    “What about Reshiram and Zekrom? Do you think I’ll see them?”

    “So many questions… I think you better go back home, it’s getting dark.”

    “Aww… Okay! See you later Mrs. Chasm!”

    “Be careful!”

    “Okay!”

    Zack walked away from the Elder’s Tree and swam across the lake back to his family’s tree. He was an eight-year-old Oshawott and couldn’t wait to tell his older brother and younger sister about what he was told. As he swam through the lake, he felt an odd chill. He decided to keep swimming and finally reached the other side of the lake. He ran to his tree and called out to his family he was back. He climbed into the tree to see his Mom making his favorite supper, fresh remoraid, his dad practice fighting for the big tournament that is held every year for a good year of food and safety, his big brother playing catch with their pet Lilipup, and his younger sister getting washed up for dinner. He washed his hands and went to the table for supper.

    “Mom, today I went to see Mrs. Chasm and she told me this awesome story called the Tao Trio Legend!”

    “Oh yes, that legend is quite famous around these parts since this is the area where it was said to take place.”

    “Oh! Can you tell us Zack?” asked his younger sister, Dawn.

    So Zack told them what he had heard as they ate there dinner. Afterwards, they got ready for bed, each giving their prayers to Arceus before lying down. Zack had a very disturbing dream that night. It started with him standing at the lake. It was hailing unusually hard.

    “I better get back to the tree or Mom is really going to scold me for being out in this!” exclaimed Zack.

    He took one step and a terrible screech started screaming through the forest. It really hurt Zack’s sensitive ears, causing him to try to block it out with his shell, which wasn’t enough since he only had one. It eventually ended and a huge blizzard covered the forest, turning everything Zack could see white. It suddenly faded, and a hole opened up in the wall that was across the lake. Curiosity taking over him, Zack went over to this cave and he decided to go inside. After going in, he instantly wished he hadn’t. In front of him sat a giant gray dragon, with piercing yellow eyes, and icy wings. It’s face looked distorted and dead looking, years of age and ice frozen all over it. It had a giant body with large legs and tiny arms. It stared at him, freezing him in his tracks. They just stared at each other, nothing happening. Then there was a huge explosion sound outside the cave and the dragon let out that terrible screech!

    “AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!” screamed Zack.

    He awakened, sweating in his bed.

    “SHUT UP ZACK!” yelled his older brother, Mach.

    “Sorry… Nightmare…” said Zack.

    He sat there, thinking about the dream. What just happened? What was the dragon? He decided to go back to sleep, and that in the morning, he’d ask Mrs. Chasm about it. For the rest of that night, he had nightmares with that awful looking face staring at him, freezing him solid.

    Note: This takes place in Giant Chasm.

    Criticism?
    Last edited by Porgon-XYZ; 22nd October 2011 at 6:13 PM.

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  2. #2
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    cool story but why does a pokemon have a pet pokemon?

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    awsomeness ps hi porygon-xyz
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkchomby View Post
    cool story but why does a pokemon have a pet pokemon?
    Lilipup's seems like it could be a pet to even wild pokemon, which gave me the idea.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Porgon-XYZ View Post
    Okay, this is my first Fan Fic, so help is appreciated. This is based off of the Tao Trio(AKA, Zekrom, Reshiram, and Kyurem).
    Rating: PG for Violence(In later chapters)


    Chapter 1: Icy Tales

    “Once upon a time, there were two twins. They controlled a single powerful Dragon Pokémon which they used to create the Unova region. The brothers each sought something different in life, truth for the older brother and ideals for the younger, and they began to argue, then fight, over who’s side was right. The single dragon, in response, split into two Pokémon: Reshiram, who sided with the older twin, and Zekrom, who sided with the younger twin. The two dragons were equally matched as they battled and neither conquered the other. As a result, the brothers set aside their differences, and equally declared there was no right side. But the partners of the heroes resumed the fight, and Reshiram and Zekrom destroyed the region with their fire and lightning powers. The corpse of the original dragon was frozen over as timed passed, eventually being frozen solid in the blizzard it sat in. As the two dragons’ strongest attacks collided, the blast covered all of the land, breaking the ice that was frozen over the body. The original dragon awoken, it’s giant body frozen from the inside. It let out an ear splitting screech that was so powerful that it caused the two dragons to reform into small orbs. It then sealed the two orbs into 2 different towers as punishment, and they were never seen again. The new Ice dragon then created a cavern, which it rested, and still rests in to this day.”

    “Wow! That was amazing!” Whispered Zack.

    “It’s called the Tao Trio Legend. I learned it from my Grandmother.” Said the elderly Froslass.

    “What is the new dragon’s name, and does it still exist?”

    “It’s name was Kyurem, and legend has it that it still rests in a closed up cave in this area.”

    “Do you think I’ll ever see it?”

    “Who knows? Maybe you will! They say if you hear it’s screech, the entrance to it’s cave will be opened.”

    “What about Reshiram and Zekrom? Do you think I’ll see them?”

    “So many questions… I think you better go back home, it’s getting dark.”

    “Aww… Okay! See you later Mrs. Chasm!”

    “Be careful!”

    “Okay!”

    Zack walked away from the Elder’s Tree and swam across the lake back to his family’s tree. He was an eight-year-old Oshawott and couldn’t wait to tell his older brother and younger sister about what he was told. As he swam through the lake, he felt an odd chill. He decided to keep swimming and finally reached the other side of the lake. He ran to his tree and called out to his family he was back. He climbed into the tree to see his Mom making his favorite supper, fresh remoraid, his dad practice fighting for the big tournament that is held every year for a good year of food and safety, his big brother playing catch with their pet Lilipup, and his younger sister getting washed up for dinner. He washed his hands and went to the table for supper.

    “Mom, today I went to see Mrs. Chasm and she told me this awesome story called the Tao Trio Legend!”

    “Oh yes, that legend is quite famous around these parts since this is the area where it was said to take place.”

    “Oh! Can you tell us Zack?” asked his younger sister, Dawn.

    So Zack told them what he had heard as they ate there dinner. Afterwards, they got ready for bed, each giving their prayers to Arceus before lying down. Zack had a very disturbing dream that night. It started with him standing at the lake. It was hailing unusually hard.

    “I better get back to the tree or Mom is really going to scold me for being out in this!” exclaimed Zack.

    He took one step and a terrible screech started screaming through the forest. It really hurt Zack’s sensitive ears, causing him to try to block it out with his shell, which wasn’t enough since he only had one. It eventually ended and a huge blizzard covered the forest, turning everything Zack could see white. It suddenly faded, and a hole opened up in the wall that was across the lake. Curiosity taking over him, Zack went over to this cave and he decided to go inside. After going in, he instantly wished he hadn’t.

    In front of him sat a giant gray dragon, with piercing yellow eyes and icy wings. It’s face looked distorted and dead looking, years of age and ice frozen all over it. It had a giant body with large legs and tiny arms. It stared at him, freezing him in his tracks. They just stared at each other, nothing happening. Then there was a huge explosion outside the cave and the dragon let out that terrible screech!

    “AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!” screamed Zack.

    He awakened, sweating in his bed.

    “SHUT UP ZACK!” yelled his older brother, Mach.

    “Sorry… Nightmare…” said Zack.

    He sat there, thinking about the dream. What just happened? What was the dragon? He decided to go back to sleep, and that in the morning, he’d ask Mrs. Chasm about it. For the rest of that night, he had nightmares with that awful looking face staring at him, freezing him solid.

    Note: This takes place in Giant Chasm.

    Critism?
    Over all it was pretty good for your first one. I liked it. It was pretty descriptive which is key to a good story IMO. However, like most stories, there are a few things that should be fixed.

    I noticed that maybe three times, you used 'threw' instead of 'through'. The way you used it is like whenever someone says 'I threw the ball'. A minor thing, yes, but nonetheless, it still was an error. Just thought I'd let you know.

    Also, I noticed a few spelling errors and maybe 2 times when you capitalized when you shouldn't have. Again minor things but they should be fixed. Everything that I fixed is in bold.

    I liked this. You should PM me whenever you have a new chapter out. Can't wait for Chapter 2!
    \

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    Edits made, thanx for the feedback! Chapter 2 will be posted tomorrow!

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    I like the story so far. The info is accurate, and I can't wait for the next chapter. The only flaw I can think of right now is the spelling of "Criticism". That's all I have to say.

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    Chapter 2: The Warning

    Zack had just woked up and ate his breakfast of Oran berry waffles and was ready to go see Mrs. Chasm. He jumped in the lake and began swimming to the elder’s tree. As he swam, he felt that odd chill he had felt the day before. He once again decided to ignore it and continued his journey to the elder’s tree. Once on the other side, he saw something strange rustling in the bushes. He first thought to go check it out, but thought better of it, and decided to toss a rock at it from a safe distance. He found a rock and tossed it into the bushes.

    “OW! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?” yelled a familiar voice.

    “Wait a second… ALEX?” said Zack.

    Then out she came from the bushes. She was a rather pretty Snivy, around the same age as Zack. He had a major crush on her.

    “ZACK? What the balls was that for?!?” exclaimed Alex.

    “Sorry… I was just on my way to see Mrs. Chasm and I saw rustling in the bushes and…”

    “Well didn’t your mother ever teach you to ignore mysterious rustling in the bushes?” asked Alex.

    “No… Gee, I didn’t know it was you. I’m really sorry Alex!” exclaimed Zack.

    “*Sigh* Okay Zack, I forgive you, but your better let me accompany you to see what was so important.” Demanded Alex.

    “Okay, come on then.”

    They started walking through the forest, just about a half-mile from their destination. While walking through the fire-type village…

    “Hey Alex, want to stop by on Joey before going to the tree?” asked Zack.

    “Sure, we haven’t seen him in a while, he might as well tag along.” Replies Alex.

    “Well I didn’t intend on him… Never mind.”

    Joey was a timid little cyndaquil. He lives with his Aunt Blaziken since his parents had died a few years ago in a tree accident. He has always feared climbing tree’s since then, and doesn’t have many friends. The only reason the 3 knew each other is because Zack saved him from drowning in the lake the year before and Alex had healed him with berries she found in the forest.

    “Hello, Joey, are you here?” asked Alex.

    “Alex! Zack! I’m so glad to see you guys!” exclaimed Joey.

    He ran to them and gave them a big hug.

    “What are you guys doing here?” asked Joey.

    “We are going to see Mrs. Chasm and decided to drop by to say hi!” said Zack.

    “AND, we came to ask you to tag along.” Alex added.

    “Well, I don’t have anything better to do so I guess I can go with you guys.” Said Joey.

    “Okay then! Leeeeeet’s GO!” Exclaimed Alex.

    With a sigh, Zack and his friends followed him to the elder’s tree. They finally arrived and went to the hole that Mrs. Chasm lived in.

    “Mrs. Chasm, are you here?” asked Zack.

    “WHAT WAS THAT? WHO’S THERE? I SWEAR IF YOU'RE HERE TO TAKE MY PECHA BERRIES, I’LL- Oh… It’s you Zack… umm… Sorry about that, I thought you were that pesky Bisharp that keeps trying to take my pecha berries.” Explains Mrs. Chasm.

    “Well… Umm… I came to ask you something, and Alex and Joey are just tagging along.” Said Zack.

    “Okay then, what can I do ya for?” asked Mrs. Chasm.

    “Okay, so last night I had this strange dream.”

    “What was it about?”

    “Well, here’s what happened.”

    Zack briefly explains what had happened in his nightmare.

    “Hmm… The pokemon you described sounds like Kyurem.”

    “Wait, so that’s the dragon from the story?”

    “Yes, it is. They say that when a pokemon has a dream about such a powerful and legendary pokemon that trouble is coming. If I’m correct, something terrible is about to happen. And for a dream to come to such a young lad… Keep your eyes peeled young Zack. If you see something odd, or hear something odd, get away as fast as possible. It may be what this dream is trying to tell you.”

    “Wait, so Zack had a dream about a LEGENDARY pokemon, and is in possible danger because of it?” gasped Alex.

    “Now, now, don’t be too worried. It may have been just a dream. I’m just warning you now, just incase it was more than the average nightmare.”

    “Wow… I, I think I should go think this over.” Said Zack.

    “Okay, just don’t get too worried about it, or you might start hallucinating.” Warned Mrs. Chasm.

    Zack jumped out of the tree and started walking threw the woods. So this was some sort of warning, huh. Why would it be sent to me? Why not someone else? I’m only eight-years-old for crying out loud! I hope it was just a dream…

    “HEY, ZACK! WAIT UP!” yelled Alex.

    Zack turned around to see his friends running over to him.

    “Are you okay? You seem a little stressed over the whole thing…” said Alex.

    “Don’t worry, It’s just, why me? Why not someone else?”

    “Remember Zack, it may have been just a dream.” Said Joey.

    “Yeah, your right. I guess I better stop thinking about it… Let’s go back home.”

    They started traveling back to their homes. Joey dropped off at the village, but…

    “If you don’t mind… Do you want me to stay with you for the night? I’m worried that you’ll have more nightmares…” asked Alex.

    “Okay, but please don’t tell anyone else about this. I don’t want to worry mom.”

    As they got to the lake, Zack started to feel something.

    “Do you feel that?” asked Zack.

    “Yeah, it feels like, a tremor or something…” said Alex.

    Then it happened. A giant earthquake started shaking the forest!

    “HOLY CRAP! AN EARTHQUAKE!” screamed Alex.

    Zack dashed over to Alex and shielded her with his body.

    “Don’t worry, I won’t let you get hurt!”

    As sudden as it started, it stopped. Zack looked up, and suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his head.

    “OUCH! What the-?” and then he was cut off as the vision sunk in.
    Last edited by Porgon-XYZ; 14th July 2011 at 9:57 PM.

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    “OW! WHAT THE HEC WAS THAT?” yelled a familiar voice
    Nothing big no this but you spelled 'heck' wrong. Just a minor spelling error.

    “ZACK? What the balls was that for?!?” exclaimed Alex.
    This made me rofl :3

    They started walking threw the forest, just about a half-mile from their destination. While walking threw the fire-type village…
    I noticed you used 'threw' instead of 'through' again. Still nothing major but it's better if it gets fixed.

    “WHAT WAS THAT? WHO’S THERE? I SWEAR IF YOUR HERE TO TAKE MY PECHA BERRIES, I’LL- Oh… It’s you Zack… umm… Sorry about that, I thought you were that pesky Bisharp that keeps trying to take my pecha berries.” Explains Mrs. Chasm.
    Here, you used 'your' instead of 'you're'. It's like most of my other stuff, not major but better if it's fixed.

    Over all I'm still liking it. Just fix this stuff and it would be great. Not that it isn't now but you know what I mean :P Lemme know when the next chapter comes out! You said you'd let me know when this one came out but you didn't
    \

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Porgon-XYZ View Post
    Zack had just waked up
    It's called "woken". This chapter was not bad, but not as good as the first one.

  11. #11
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    awsome porygon i cant wait for the next chapter what absol said made him rofl made me rofl 2 :3
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    Fixes made.(I'll try to fix that through thing)


    Quote Originally Posted by PikaPika677 View Post
    It's called "woken". This chapter was not bad, but not as good as the first one.
    Fixed, and don't worry, It's about to get better.    Spoiler:- Look, a spoiler::


    Quote Originally Posted by Absol6028 View Post
    Over all I'm still liking it. Just fix this stuff and it would be great. Not that it isn't now but you know what I mean :P Lemme know when the next chapter comes out! You said you'd let me know when this one came out but you didn't
    Sorry about not telling you, I was gonna wait till you got back on, but you got to it first.e3e(I'll tell you next time)

    I'll try to get the next chapter out tomorrow before I leave for the weekend.

    EDIT: Next Chapter won't be posted until either tomorrow or Sunday.
    Last edited by Porgon-XYZ; 15th July 2011 at 8:29 PM.

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    Default The part with the plot.o3o

    Chapter 3: The Vision of the Legends

    Zack was suddenly inside a large, ancient looking room. In front of him stood two trainers. One had green hair, a hat, and a rather strange looking out fit. On the other side stood a trainer with black hair, a red hat with a white stripe in the middle, a blue shirt, and jeans. He also had a Pikachu on his shoulder. Zack could not believe what he saw they were using. In front of the green-haired kid was a giant, white dragon. It had ice blue eyes, long hair, widely stretched wings, and a strange looking tail that had two rings around it. The kid with the Pikachu was using a giant black dragon. It had flaming red eyes, a widely bulky body, a pair of rather small wings, and a giant generator thing for a tail. The two trainers appeared to be starting a battle.

    “Okay Reshiram, use Fusion Flare!” yelled the green-haired kid.

    “Zekrom, counter-attack with Fusion Bolt!” demanded the Pikachu kid.

    The two attacks collided with such force, that it cracked the ceiling above them.

    “Reshiram, use Dragon Pulse!”

    “Dodge it Zekrom, and use Crunch!”

    The Zekrom dodged the wave of energy and bit Reshiram in the neck.

    “Reshiram, shrug it off with Fly!”

    The Zekrom fell off of the glorified beast and was hit with it’s strong body.

    “Grr, Zekrom, use Outrage!”

    The battle went on and on, no side giving in, no side showing any sign of weakness. After a few more minutes, both sides were showing to be incredibly tired.

    “I will not lose!” exclaimed the green-haired one.

    Then suddenly, out of nowhere came two small spherical gadgets that attached themselves to the heads of the pokemon. Both trainers gave a questioning look and then wires started coming out of the gadgets and wrapped themselves around them! Reshiram, was getting shocked badly, while Zekrom was being burned badly. The two dragons screeched in pain.

    “Fu, fu, fu…” said a strange voice.

    A strange man emerged from the shadows in a corner of the room. He had messy green hair, a large dress, and an ugly looking face.

    “Father? What are you doing?!?” exclaimed the green haired kid.

    “I am simply doing what I’ve been wanting to do since I started this organization: To catch the legendary dragons!” replied the old man.

    “But you said that all you wanted was to free pokemon from their trainers so they would no longer be abused in battle!”

    “Blahahaha… Your so naďve N. Do you really think I care about how people use their pokemon? If you do then you’re dead wrong. I have been simply using you to awaken the two legendary dragons from their orbs. Now that they are weakened, and I have got them in my traps, I, Ghetsis, will capture these legends and RULE THE WORLD!” exclaimed Ghetsis.

    “Grrr… I never should have trusted him. Ash, I think we are officially screwed.” Said N.

    “Wait! I have an Idea!” exclaimed Ash.

    “What is it?”

    “What if we work together so Fusion Flare and Fusion Bolt will be able to destroy these devices?”

    “Hmm… It’s worth a shot. Let’s go!”

    “Reshiram, Zekrom, use Fusion Bolt and Fusion Flare!” they both exclaimed.

    Zekrom started to glow a yellow color as electricity was starting to flow rapidly threw it’s body. On the other side, Reshiram was creating an extremely hot ball of fire above it’s head. Zekrom’s device blew up from the overload of electricity while Reshiram’s melted from the sheer power of the flame.

    “Hehe… I thought you might try that.” Said Ghetsis with a creepy grin.

    Suddenly, both pokemon’s eyes started glowing a blood red. They stood stationary, staring at nothing.

    “What have you done?” asked N.

    “The gadgets you destroyed had already token control of them before you destroyed them. They now will obey my every command.”

    “WHAT?” exclaimed Ash.

    “Now, Zekrom, Reshiram, destroy this castle!” demanded Ghetsis.

    To Zack’s horror, both pokemon started unleashing lightning bolts and giant flames to destroy the oversized castle. Zekrom destroyed the bridges with lightning it had sent down from the sky while Reshiram had set a terrible flame threw the castle. Strangely, Zack could not feel the flames that were surrounding him. After what seemed like hours, the castle sat in ruin. It was just a bunch of ruin and fire. Ghetsis, who had flown above the destruction on his Unfezant, simply watched in pleasure at the horrid scene. N and Ash had disappeared.

    “Blahahaha! Now that I have gotten rid of those meddling pests, I have a little visit to make with the Champion…”

    “NOT SO FAST!” exclaimed a strange voice.

    Then a portal opened up from the sky. The sky turned dark, and the clouds quickly rolled away. The pokemon around them started to bow down as the God of Pokemon slowly made it’s way down from the sky. Arceus had arrived.

    “Is that?…” whispered Zack.

    “Arceus! Well, well, well… I wasn’t expecting you to come.” Ghetsis calmly stated.

    “FOOLISH HUMAN. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN CONTROL THESE LEGENDARY POKEMON TO RULE THE WORLD, YOU ARE TERRIBLY WRONG. NO ONE CAN CONTROL SUCH A FORCE OF NATURE, ESPECIALLY 2. NOW RELEASE THEM FROM YOUR CONTROL OR YOU WILL SUFFER A DARK FATE.” Demanded Arceus.

    “Oh, do you think you can stop me?” laughed Ghetsis.

    “YOU ARE SUCH A FOOL. NOW YOU SHALL TASTE THE WRATH OF ARCEUS!” exclaimed Arceus.

    Arceus then, with extreme speed, started dashing over to Ghetsis, getting ready to kill him.

    “Oh no you don’t. Zekrom, Reshiram, attack!” commanded Ghetsis.

    Zekrom and Reshiram both flew in front of Ghetsis and used protect, knocking Arceus back from the collision.

    “YOU TWO, YOU WILL PAY FOR SIDING WITH THIS FOOL!” exclaimed Arceus, clearly unaware that they were being forced against their will.

    Arceus started up a small orange ball in front of it’s mouth, and unleashed a powerful beam of energy at the two dragons. In response, Reshiram used it’s own Hyper Beam to counter the attack, causing the beams to cancel each other out. Zekrom took this chance to throw a powerful Bolt Strike at Arceus while it was recharging. Arceus, tookin from surprise, crashed into some of the remains of the castle.

    “YOU FOOLS SHALL NOW BE ENTITLED TO ETERNAL JUDGEMENT!” yelled Arceus.

    It then released a small ball up into the sky, which suddenly explodes, releasing something that resembled fireworks. They hit the two dragons, who each looked like they had taken massive damage. They got up, and did a Fusion Flare/Bolt combo on Arceus, making it fly into a mountain, which crushed it completely. Arceus, who looked like it was on the verge of being defeated, started charging up another Hyper Beam, but was then struck by a Thunder attack from Zekrom. Then some boulders that were on top of the mountain beside it fell down upon it, burying it beneath the pile. A few seconds went by, while nothing happened. Then suddenly, a powerful explosion attack from Arceus stuck Zekrom, Reshiram, and all of the surroundings, causing Zekrom and Reshiram to crash into the remains of the castle and the rocks covering Arceus to fly and crash unto them. Arceus, who was clearly in deep pain from the Explosion attack, slowly made it’s way over to Ghetsis, who was watching in horror at what had just happened.

    “What the?!? How did you defeat them?” exclaimed Ghetsis.

    “I AM THE ALPHA POKEMON, GOD OF THE POKEMON WORLD. OF COURSE I CAN DEFEAT MY CREATIONS.” Said Arceus, who looked like it was about to fall over. “MY JOB HERE IS DONE. THIS BATTLE HAS EXTREMELY WEAKENED ME. I KNOW THAT ZEKROM AND RESHIRAM ARE NOW OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. YOU CAN NOW DO NOTHING. IT’S TIME FOR ME TO RETURN TO MY HOME.”

    A very weakened Arceus slowly made it’s way threw a portal it had opened up. It then disappeared, appearing that it would be gone for a very long time. Ghetsis was still terrified at the thought that two out-of-control legendary pokemon who he had seemingly killed the trainers of were just under the rock pile in front of him. He then remembered something the scientists had told him if he ever lost control of the two pokemon. “If you somehow manage to lose control of them, they will go in shock, and rage threw the Unova region liked they had done in ancient times.”, they had said.

    “I better get out of here before something bad happens!” exclaimed Zack.

    But after he had said this, it was too late. Zekrom and Reshiram had emerged from the rock pile they were in, anger burning in their eyes. They both looked at Ghetsis, and started preparing a Blue Flare/Bolt Strike combo at him.

    “No, please don’t do this! I beg of you!” screamed Ghetsis.

    Zack, who didn’t want to see any more, looked away, and the vision had suddenly stopped. He was lying on the ground, staring at Alex’s worried pair of eyes.

    “Oh Zack! You’ve finally waked up!” Alex cried happily.

    She hugged him very tight, causing him to suffocate. When she realized this, she quickly let go. He started coughing, and then asked her what happened.

    “You were trying to protect me from the earthquake, and when it had ended, you suddenly gasped and fell over.” Said Alex. “By the way, what happened?”

    “I, I had a vision…” gasped Zack.

    “What was it about?”

    “Let’s just say that I think something very bad is about to happen.”

    And sure enough after saying this, something roared out in the distance.



    Well, here it is. I think I may have made a few grammer errors...

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  14. #14

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    Amazing! I thought Arceus would lose but no! Great chapter! Lots of action and suspense!

  15. #15
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    Nice! I really liked.! I can't wait for the next part!
    \

  16. #16
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    yay we are oficaily screwed yay
    but anyway awsome chapter rly exiting cant wait for the nxt one
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  17. #17
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    *cough cough* And with out further ado, I introduce the next chapter!

    Chapter 4: The Beginning of the End

    Alex and Zack watched in horror as the 2 dragons, Reshiram and Zekrom, were flying their way. The two were glaring at each other, occasionally firing a fireball or a thunderbolt at each other. Zack, thinking fast, grabbed Alex and started running towards his home tree. The barely made it inside when the dragons made it to their battlefield. Zekrom launched a giant Thunder Attack right in front of Reshiram, stopping it in it’s tracks. In response, Reshiram unleashed a Fire Blast at Zekrom with such force that when it hit him, parts of the forest suddenly caught on fire!

    “Oh no! FOREST FIRE!” yelled the Chatot alarms.

    Everyone made there way out of their trees and began running to the lake to gather water to put it out. The water types were firing their Hydro Pumps and Water Guns at the fire, in an attempt to put it out. Zack, remembering the power of Reshiram’s flames, knew that that wasn’t to put it out. The flames spread around the forest, scorching everything in its path. Thankfully, Zekrom unleashed a rain dance to weaken the fire type moves Reshiram was launching at him, also helping putting out the fire in the forest.

    “Everyone, emergency meeting at the Gathering Oak!” screeched the Chatot alarms.

    Everyone started running towards the direction of the Gathering Oak. It was the largest tree in the forest, in the center of the land also. It had been there for many years, and was also the eldest tree. Luckily, most of the pokemon lived near it so it wouldn’t take long for everyone to gather. Alex, Zack, and his family were all running as fast as they could to the Gathering Oak. Once they were barely hit by a Thunder attack from Zekrom. After a minute or two, they had arrived. The rest of the pokemon were quickly gathering in front of the oak. As soon as everyone arrived, the Metagross guards unleashed multiple protect attacks around the tree to keep everyone safe from random attacks that missed. Everyone was looking at the tree, waiting for the forest king to tell them what to do. As soon as they were fully protected, and everybody had a spot, the elderly Sceptile made his way out of the cavern in the bottom. He got one of the local Magnemite and brought it up to his mouth.

    “Citizens of the forest,” boomed his voice, “We are gathered here today because of the two legendary pokemon of the Unova region are raging in battle on top of our forest!”

    The citizens started yelling out things such as ‘What do we do?’ and ‘Can we stop it?’ The chief quieted them down and continued.

    “Now, I realize how much damage they can cause, but sadly, there is nothing we can do about it that I can think of.” The chief sadly declared.

    Then the citizens started screaming and panicking, running around in circles since they can’t get out of the protect barrier.

    “WAIT! EVERYONE, BE QUIET!” yelled a familiar voice.

    Zack saw the elderly Mrs. Chasm making here way to the chief.

    “This happened thousands of years ago. It was stopped though, by Kyurem!” exclaimed Mrs. Chasm.

    “But how do we get Kyurem to awaken from his slumber?” asked the Chief.

    “It is said in legend, that when this battle took place last time, that after much time of being trapped in a blizzard, that Kyurem unleashed a screech that stopped the two until now. It is also said that there is a pokemon that knows how to awaken Kyurem!”

    “Who is this pokemon, and where can we find them?”

    “The pokemon is called Victini. It was said that it was alive during the battle of ancient times, and even tried to stop it. When it had failed, Kyurem had driven the dragons out with it’s screech. Victini, who was in deep pain after the battle, was taken in by Kyurem, and had it’s wounds healed instantly. Victini thanked Kyurem in response, and was asked a favor by Kyurem. It told him that if this ever happened again, that he would go out to find the one that Kyurem had picked many millenniums before they were born. If this pokemon were to meet Victini, they would automatically be recognized as the chosen one. Only with that pokemon would we be saved. Victini then moved to a place far out in the ocean to a place called Liberty Tower, where it still lives today.”

    “Hmm… then how do we know who this chosen one is?” asked the chief.

    “If I’m correct, this pokemon is alive today, and is one of the pokemon gathered in front of us.”

    Everyone gasped and started looking around at each other, trying to figure out whom it was. Zack was dreading that it could be him.

    “I see… is this the only hope we have to survive? We must find this Victini and ask him to find the one among us that can awaken Kyurem?”

    “Y, yes. This is our only hope.” Mrs. Chasm gruesomely replied.

    “How do we get there?” asked a random Emolga.

    “To get to Victini, we must travel to a forest directly south from here, called White Forest. There lives an elderly Sigilyph that can show us the way.” Replied Mrs. Chasm.

    “Okay, I’ve decided what we will do.” Declared the chief. “To keep safe from the legendary pokemon, we will travel underground to get to this White Forest!”

    “How do we do that?” asked Alex’s mom on a nearby tree stump.

    “We’ve got that covered ma’am.” Replied a strange voice.

    Behind the crowd was a group of Excadrills. They were the local mine diggers who helped get the minerals sometimes used in medications for certain sicknesses.

    “Okay, we will travel as soon as possible! General Alexander, (who is the chief of the Excadrill crew) go start a tunnel at the sand tracks.” Said the chief.

    “But sir, won’t we have to go unprotected threw the forest to get to it?” asked General Alexander.

    “It’s a risk we’ll have to take.” Replied the chief sadly. “Here’s the plan. You guys go ahead to the tracks and start digging. You will be okay around Zekrom’s electric attacks, but avoid any and all fire attacks from Reshiram. Everyone else grab a partner for travel to the sand tracks. We’ll use the buddy system to get there. Don’t leave your partner at any cost, and keep each other safe. If your partner is struggling, help them. I will travel with the Excadrill crew to keep safe.”

    At that, the Excadrill crew went to get the chief, and ran to the forest with all of there speed. The Metagross stopped the barrier that was protecting them, and started going to the tracks with each other. Zack chose Alex as his partner, so he could keep her safe. Joey, who had been near them during the meeting, chose Zack’s brother Mach as his partner. The two knew each other enough to get along, so they wouldn’t have too much problems helping each other. Everyone else got a partner and everybody started dashing to the forest. The forest was dark and gruesome, instead of bright and happy like usual, and it was filled with dead trees and burned homes. It was a sad sight, but they forced themselves to keep going. They had to dodge a few attacks that had gone astray but they were fine when the got to the sand tracks. There was already a hole in the ground and pokemon were all jumping in it. Zack and Alex, who had arrived a little late since they had to take a different route to it because of a tree falling on their path, were running to the hole with all of their might. Then a random Fusion Flare that had been thrown back by Zekrom’s Light Screen, started flying right at Alex!

    “NOOOO!” screamed Zack.

    Zack ran over in front of her to stop it from hitting here. He pulled up his Shell and used it to try and deflect the attack. It then collided with his shell, knocking him back a few feet, but he still held his ground. It was wearing him down with it’s incredible power, and he was surprised his shell was still stopping it. Then suddenly, his tail grew a light blue color, and he had an instinct to use it to hit the Fusion Flare. He quickly spinned around and smacked the attack with his tail. The flame flew off and crashed unto Zekrom.

    “Whoa, what was that?!?” exclaimed Zack.

    “Zack, you just learned Aqua Tail!” exclaimed his brother who was watching what had been happening in horror.

    “Awesome!” exclaimed Zack.

    “You… You saved me…” whispered Alex.

    Remembering what it had been for, he turned around to see Alex in shock behind him.

    “I… I love you!” exclaimed Alex.

    With that, she leapt over and started kissing Zack. Tooken from surprise, Zack was first shocked, but then started to enjoy that moment. It seemed to last forever to Zack, he would never forget this.

    “Umm, not to ruin this moment for you or anything, but I don’t think Zekrom took that Fusion Flare kindly!” exclaimed Joey.

    Zack turned around to see Zekrom glaring at him angrily and he started to do a Bolt Strike on him!

    “WHOA! Come on Alex!”

    He grabbed Alex’s hand and they ran to the hole that was being protected by the Metagross. Barely avoiding certain death, the leaped into the hole as Zekrom crashed in front of the hole. Luckily, the Metagross’ reflects protected them from being hit. Apparently being last inside, the Metagross’ dashed into the hole with them. On top of the ground, an Excadrill crewmember used rockslide to cover up the hole. It then went back underground to join the pokemon underground.

    “Okay, it appears we all have safely made it underground. General, let’s start heading south!” commanded the chief.

    With that, they started digging their way to White Forest, safely underground from the battle that raged above them.
    Last edited by Porgon-XYZ; 20th November 2011 at 8:23 PM.

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  18. #18
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    >_> Haven't received much feedback lately... Oh well... Here's the next chapter:


    Chapter 5: Battle of the Underground


    The large group of pokemon was walking down the tunnel that the Excadrill crew was digging out. Occasionally, a confused drilbur would pop up and quickly go back down at the sight of the pokemon. It had felt like they had been going for days, but it had only been a couple of hours. They had run into a few hazards such as some water from a lake and a rockslide from digging under a mountain. Zack was walking next to Alex, Joey, and his Brother Mach. Joey was still a little freaked out over the whole thing and hadn’t talked since they had gotten into the tunnel. Mach occasionally would warn them when they were about to trip over a root or something but that was it. Alex just calmly walked forward, like Zack was doing. Older pokemon were calm, but younger ones were either crying or sleeping. It was indeed a tough day.

    “Hold on everyone, we’ve hit a dead end!” yelled the General.

    Everyone sighed at this from all of the dead ends they had hit so far.

    “Can we go around it?” asked the Chief.

    “Maybe… Nope, this is just path seems to be leading to another body of water. I’m afraid we are getting a bit lost…” replied the General.

    “Hmm… What should we do then?” asked the Chief.

    “We can try heading to the west.”

    “Okay, everyone, we’re going to travel west!” yelled the Chief.

    With that, they started going west. As they progressed on, Zack noticed how dark the dirt was starting to look and assumed that it was raining above them. Then Zack noticed something coming out of the ground beneath them…

    “Umm, guys, do you see that?” asked Zack.

    “Yeah, what is-”

    Mach was cut off as a giant Shark thing burst out of the ground. At the sight of it, everyone screamed and ran to over behind to were the Excadrill crew were. Zack, Alex, Joey, and Mach were unfortunate enough to be right behind it with no chance of going around it.

    “WHO DARES INVADE MY TERRITORY?!?” the shark asked.

    “Ignore us! We are just passing through! Zekrom and Reshiram destroyed our home and we are traveling to the White Forest!” exclaimed the Chief.

    “NO ONE INVADES MY TERRITORY AND GET’S AWAY WITH IT!” snarled the shark.

    “What is that?” Zack whispered to Mach.

    “That’s a Garchomp. They are aggressive pokemon as I’ve been told. This one is probably mad about us in it’s territory because of all of the recent destruction… These are very powerful pokemon, almost deserving the title “legendary”. We need to get out of here fast before it attacks!”

    Right as Mach finished, Garchomp noticed that the 4 were right behind him. He gave them a glare and dashed at them with both of his hands glowing! They barely avoided it from Garchomp’s super speed.

    “What move was that?” asked Alex.

    “I believe that was a Dual Chop attack. If he knows that, He can KO us with only two attacks!” exclaimed Mach.

    “Hmm, quick, do you know his type?” asked Zack.

    “I think he’s a Dragon/Ground type judging by his looks and the fact that he lives underground.” Replied Mach.

    Garchomp ran at them again, this time his whole body glowing with a fiery aura. Zack knew that as an Outrage attack because he had seen an Axew use it in a practice battle. Once again nearly avoiding certain destruction, a light blue ball appeared in front of Zack’s mouth, and he launched the Ice Beam at Garchomp. Garchomp took it with a huge grunt, and looked furious. He then launched a red ball up into the ceiling of the tunnel and then suddenly it exploded into an attack of falling meteors! As if death was right there in front of them, the Chief dashed over, grabbed the children, and dodged the meteors with supersonic speeds.

    “Wow, thanks Chief!” exclaimed Alex.

    “No problem,” grunted the Chief as he barely dodged an astray meteor. He laid them down near the group, and ran over at Garchomp with green blades alit on his arms. He swiped them and Garchomp flinched at the old man’s power. However, he quickly went back into battle as he launched a powerful Fire Blast at the Chief. In response, the Chief fired a large orange ball at the oncoming attack and canceled it out. Then, he fired a purple beam out of his mouth, which knocked Garchomp back a few feet. Garchomp was a long way from defeat, as with extreme speed, he ran at the Chief and bit him on the arm. The Crunch attack seemed to do a lot to him, as his old age and softened his bones. The Chief fired a little light blue ball at Garchomp that surprisingly took a huge amount of damage out of him.

    “Okay, what was THAT?” asked Zack.

    “That was the Chief’s Hidden Power Son. I guess it’s Ice judging by Garchomp’s reaction to it.” Replied Zack’s dad.

    Garchomp, who was looking exhausted, clawed the Chief with his claws glowing, a powerful Dragon Claw as Zack could see, which hurt him bad. The chief was gasping for breath, sweating heavily, and then a green aura started glowing around him.

    “What’s happening?” asked Joey.

    “That’s the Chief’s ability Overgrow. When his health gets really low, his grass typed moves get way stronger. I have it to.” Replied Alex.

    The Chief started another Leaf Blade, but his time the blades were huge. As they hit Garchomp, he flew off into a wall. He was surprised by the huge power increase. As seeming a last resort, Garchomp fired a Hyper Beam at the chief, which he swiftly dodged, and then shot red beams at Garchomp that appeared to have finished it off. After doing so, the Chief seemed a lot stronger, as if he got his strength back. Zack assumed that was a Giga Drain, as Alex’s mom had used it when some Beedrill attacked their home. Garchomp looked at them all, terrified, and quickly fled underground.

    “Wow… that was… a tough battle…” the Chief looked very tired, despite the strength he looked like he had before Garchomp fled.

    “Maybe we should go on a bit more to get away from Garchomp, and then rest for a bit.” Said the General.

    “Good Idea.” Replied the Chief.

    With that, they went on a bit, and stopped to rest. Everyone was complementing the Chief on the battle, which he gave a quick thanks to, and laid down. Alex laid down in Zack’s lap, and fell asleep. Joey was still a bit shocked over the battle, and just sat there staring out at were they had come from. Mach was comforting Zack’s sister Dawn, who was also a little shocked. Everyone rested, waiting for when they would continue. Zack knew that tomorrow would probably be very tough. They were still a bit lost, pokemon are raging over their territory from the destruction, and oxygen in the tunnel was running low. It wouldn’t be long till they would be forced to surface, regardless of were they were. There were dark times ahead, but deep inside, Zack knew that they would be all right.

    Credit to FrostStorm for the banner; YOU ARE MAJESTIC FROSTSTORM

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  19. #19
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    This is a very interesting story. Although, it probably would have helped the story if you slowed down the building relationship between Zach and Alex. The story seems really rushed, mostly because of that. Also, the story's filled with characters that we hardly even get to know. The Chief seemed to be a very important character, yet we never actually got to know about his personality or anything. Definitely try including more parts in the story that help build character, it'll pay off.

    Otherwise, I like it. Do you have a PM list? If so, can you add me?

    ^ Click this for good times ^


  20. #20
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    Don't worry, I have backstories planned for explaining important characters. And yes, now that you do mention it, some of it is a bit rushed. I'll start working on fixing that. Thanx! And I'll start the PM list now.

    Credit to FrostStorm for the banner; YOU ARE MAJESTIC FROSTSTORM

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  21. #21
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    Default The next chapter.:D(probably with flaws)

    Chapter 6: Little Noah

    Everyone was through resting and got up to start their journey towards the west. The Excadrills clawed their way through as they just kept walking and walking. Zack was getting bored of just “walking”. He decided to start talking to Alex.

    “So… what’s up?” asked Zack.

    “Really? That’s how your going to start a conversation after walking for days in an underground tunnel filled with land sharks and occasional Digletts?” asked Alex.

    “Well, when you put it that way…”

    “Nah, I’m just kidding! Anyways, I’m just worrying about how we are going to get there. You KNOW we’re lost, right?”

    “Yeah, I think everybody’s figured that out. I’m just getting bored…”

    “So you want to talk about something?” asked Alex.

    “Sure! Let’s talk about… err… the Chief!” exclaimed Zack.

    “Okay… Let’s see… so how do you think he became so strong?”

    “Good question… and when did he become the Chief?”

    “He he, so you two youngsters are curious about the Chief’s past, eh?” giggled Mrs. Chasm, who appeared almost out of nowhere.

    “Yeah, we don’t know much about him…” said Zack.

    “Well, well then, I’ll tell you the story of the Chief. One day many years ago, a little treecko was found wandering in the forest. He was just an infant, unaware of the dangers that lurked out there. He saw some berries on a nearby bush, and decided to go and pick some. Now, before he could touch even one, a furious Rampardos broke out of the bushes and head-butted him into a tree! Being the youngster he was, he was severely damaged, crying very hard from the pain. The angry Rampardos was mad at him because he had broke into his territory, uninvited. He prepared to smash Treecko with Head Smash, but just in a nick of time, one of our elders, an Emboar, knocked out Rampardos with an incredible Superpower! Mr. George, the elder, went to Treecko, who was unconscious. He picked him up gently and quickly ran over to his village.

    "He took him to the village nurse, who is now known as “The Nurse of Hope”. The little Treecko was severely hurt, a few bones broken. She patched him up as best as she could, and started the Aromatherapy. It didn’t look like he would make it through the night, but she tried her best to keep him alive. George stayed the whole time, worried about the youngster. In the morning, George and the Nurse woke up to find that the little Treecko was gone! A search party was ordered to go find the small patient. At that time, I was just a little Snorunt. I was wondering what all of the commotion was, so I asked my Pa. He told me that a little boy had been hurt the previous day and that now he was missing. I decided to go out and see if I could help find him. The first place I looked was in fact the place I found him. He was sitting down, watching the sunrise over the lake. I walked over and asked him what he was doing. This is what he said, “I don’t know where my Mommy and Daddy are… they disappeared into the forest to get me some berries, but they never came out… I went to go find them, but then I was attacked by a really scary pokemon! I woke up to find my wounds healed, and this old guy sleeping beside me… I don’t understand what happened…” I told him what I had heard, about how he was attacked by a Rampardos and that he was carried to the nurse to be healed. After saying that, the search party found us, and rushed him back to the nurse. She questioned if he was feeling better, and if he remembered what he had been doing wandering the forest at night. He told them what he had told me, and asked if they knew what had happened to them. Nobody knew what had happened to them. They asked if he at least knew his name, and he told them that it was Noah.

    "We invited him into our village to stay while we figured out what had happened to his family. George decided to let him live with him, so he could have some company. George was like a father to Noah. He nurtured him into shape, and trained him to be strong. He grew very fast, and was becoming more independent every day. A few years had pasted, and we never found his family. Not even a trace of them had been found. Noah tried to be strong, and to go on with his life, although I can remember him softly weeping at night, beside the lake. Then there was that gruesome day. Everyone was asleep, the guards outside dozing from the peace of the forest. Then, as if out of know where, we were attacked by these pokemon known as, “The Haxorus Squad”! They rampaged their way through the village, destroying everything in their path! Many innocent citizens were killed, others severely injured. Their leader, a Black Haxorus, plowed its way over to where Noah and George were living! Noah was terrified, knowing that he could never possibly stand up to such a beast. The Haxorus was getting ready to destroy them with an Outrage attack, when George slammed his arm down on Haxorus, showing an impressive Hammer Arm. This in-raged the leader, making him extremely vicious. He hit George with a powerful Dragon Claw, knocking him back a few feet. George ran at it with a Wild Charge, significantly hurting the leader. George followed up with a few Brick Breaks and a few random punches to wear him down. What George didn’t know was that the Leader had something deadly in his power. After being hit with one more punch, Haxorus stabbed the elder with his horns, using Guillotine! Noah watched in horror, as George fell to the ground, bleeding heavily. The Haxorus smirked at his victory, and looked at little Noah. Noah was extremely scared at the devilish look on the leader’s hideous face. I seeing this unleashed an Ice Shard attack, causing the Haxorus to fall over. Noah, seeing this as a chance to get away, ran over to me and we both started running to the lake to hide. Now back then, the lake had secret caves that are covered up now. We got in, and waited for the Haxorus Squad to leave. Hours pasted.

    "Eventually, it was extremely quiet outside. We went to check if it was safe, and went to the broken village. It was horrific, trees were lying down, pokemon were dead, and it appeared that no one had survived. Noah slowly made his way to George, who laid on the ground; eyes closed with dried blood on his skin. Noah started to cry at the sight of the man who had been like a father to him. Then, George let out a cough, signaling he was still alive! Noah ran up to him with hope and relief back in his mind. He said to Noah, “Noah…” *coughs* “I, I don’t think I’m going to make it…” *coughs* “No, you can’t die! Not now!” Noah was sobbing with sadness. “I’m sorry Noah, I, I really am…” *cough* “I want you, to be brave. Be, strong… don’t cry, no matter what happens…” Some very nasty coughing followed that. Noah was broken by this, now crying very loudly. “I’m entrusting you with the position of leader… I, I want you to lead the survivors, use what I’ve taught you over the years… Use all of your strength to protect them, and lead them for as long as you can…” More coughing came after saying this. Noah tried his best to stop crying, to fulfill his stepfather’s wish. “Remember, that no matter what happens, you…” and with that, he paused, and then was dropped into eternal rest. Noah, whose eyes were swollen, and was looking very pale, stood up, looked around, and then came over to me. He told me to go find some survivors, because it was time to recover the pokemon. I did as he asked, and we did find a few survivors. The nurse thankfully was still alive, and was able to heal some of the pokemon, but some didn’t make it. More years pasted, and Noah had grown a lot more, becoming stronger, wiser, and more protective over his forest. Eventually, the elders came to the conclusion that he would be known as the Chief. Ever since then, he has led us through many battles, he has protected us from many threats, and has brought us back to our original power.”

    “Wow… so that’s why the Chief was so protective of us back there…” whispered Alex.

    “What happened to the Haxorus Squad?” asked Zack.

    “After many years, we came across them again, but this time they were being surrounded by a group of angry Scolipedes, outnumbering them greatly. Being a ghost type, I can see inside pokemon, being able to sense emotions and such. Curiously, I had found evil spirits inside the Haxoruses’ bodies. We figured out that they only attacked us years back because an evil Spiritomb was possessing them. We saved them from the Scolipedes, by calming them down with a Heal Pulse. Using my powers, I drove the spirits out of their bodies, leaving a bunch of confused Haxoruses. They said that several years ago that they had been traveling around some dark woods, and had met a Spiritomb who had been released from its prison. It looked at them, laughed evilly, and went into their bodies, causing them to lose control. They now live a quiet life up in the mountains.” Replied Mrs. Chasm.

    “I never knew that things like that had happened before…” mumbled Zack.

    “Did ya’ll ever find his family?” asked Alex.

    “No, to this day, no one knows what happened to them.”

    “Well, that was a really cool, but sad story. Thanks for helping us understand the Chief better!” said Zack.

    After saying that, the Chief called out that they were gaining in on the Forest, and were about to start heading up. With that, they all got prepared to find out what they could do to get their home back.



    I would double space the story to make it more readable, but that feature isn't on my options to post. Any suggestions to make it more readable are appreciated!^^ Edit: Fixed.
    Last edited by Porgon-XYZ; 27th August 2011 at 3:28 AM.

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  22. #22
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    Good chapter, the backstory was written really well. Can you add me to the PM list?

  23. #23
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    Nice wall of text feature. It probably would have been better if you didn't make it one entire paragraph and instead broke if into several smaller paragraphs. That would GREATLY increase readability. You're still allowed to break up the text into different paragraphs even if it's in a quote. You can leave off the end quotation mark at the end of each paragraph to signify that the same person is speaking.

    There were a couple typos, but I don't feel like pointing them out. I suggest proofreading before you submit your chapters. I sure hope that we get to see some of the characters in the story about the chief, like the Haxorus squad and the evil Spiritomb.

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    I wanna be in the PM list!
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  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vali View Post
    Good chapter, the backstory was written really well. Can you add me to the PM list?
    Thanx, and your added!^^

    Quote Originally Posted by Gelatino95 View Post
    Nice wall of text feature. It probably would have been better if you didn't make it one entire paragraph and instead broke if into several smaller paragraphs. That would GREATLY increase readability. You're still allowed to break up the text into different paragraphs even if it's in a quote. You can leave off the end quotation mark at the end of each paragraph to signify that the same person is speaking.

    There were a couple typos, but I don't feel like pointing them out. I suggest proofreading before you submit your chapters. I sure hope that we get to see some of the characters in the story about the chief, like the Haxorus squad and the evil Spiritomb.
    Okay, I've fixed it to be more readable. I'm sorry about the typos, I didn't catch them. Every character mentioned hold a special part in this fic, so you can expect to see them later~

    Quote Originally Posted by DarknessInZero View Post
    I wanna be in the PM list!
    *Adds*

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