First I check to make sure I'm alone, being near babies or something of the sort is fine because it'd be cute if they start doing it. I also make sure that no one can see into any windows in the room via clever drape positioning.
After that, I seek out my .mp3 player, and my headphones along with it. I'll search for about two minutes before realizing that they're in my pocket. Then I drink a little tea so that I'll be a little more awake. Because that made me feel stupid.
I plug my headphones into my .mp3 player and pick a suitable song. Something with a sexy riff that all in all sounds like an orgasm.
And then I play it on my Thunderblade 46 - 4B Air Guitar.
Or if I'm not in the mood for that, I'll just read TVTropes.