Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 58

Thread: The Battle Frontier: A Brendan and May Adventure

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    3,038

    Default The Battle Frontier: A Brendan and May Adventure


    The Battle Frontier: A Brendan and May Adventure
    Who Are You?


    Rated: T (PG-13) for explicit language, violence, and sexual innuendo
    Genre: Adventure/Humor
    Verse: Generation III/IV, Games (RuSaEm/DP)

    First off, everyone say happy eighth birthday to HLBMA! It was eight long years ago that HLBMA graced/cursed ff.net. I couldn't think of any better day to start its sequel while honoring the prequel. Anyway, welcome to ... whatever that long-as-hell-title says up there or BFBMA for short. It doesn't have the same acronym fun that HLBMA does, but it does have the letters BAMF in it, so it must automatically make it good. Hopefully this sequel will be cleaner than the first, which I'm still in the process of editing ... slowly ... painfully.

    Like its predecessor and maybe even more so for the latter category, BFBMA is still an adventure ‘fic with slight twinges of humor and parody and is, overall, “lighthearted.” It is continuous from the last story; you might need to know what happened at the end of HLBMA to know what’s going on here, like why Brendan is in his current position along with his Team Magma past (oh, and the OT Chris), but for the most part, I feel like this is relatively standalone. What’s important to know is that Brendan done-goofed and is trying to start over. I also realize I dropped the ball when it came to May at the end (the story literally became Hoenn League: A Brendan Whining Fiesta in the league arc) so I will be giving both characters their own separate issues to work out and their own screen time like I used to do.

    Enjoy!


    (Last update: 01 November 2011)
    A Moment of Melancholy-- Hot Chicks!



    1) Brendan Birch: Boyfriend Extraordinaire
    2) Letters in the Mail
    3) An Offer Pt 1 | Pt 2
    4) A Moment of Melancholy-- Hot Chicks!
    5) The Grass is Greener

    Links of Interest:
    HLBMA, the prequel | Character Bios | BFBMA on ff.net

    PM list:
    neo darkrai
    Silentmemento
    [Imaginative]:[Clockwork]
    Gegoory
    TurtwigFan1
    GalladeRocks
    Glover
    DarknessInZero
    treeko's awesomeness
    Air Dragon
    SHINY VICINY
    DarkLightDuo
    Legend of Lucario
    Superpower Emboar

    - - - - - - - -
    Brendan Birch: Boyfriend Extraordinaire

    - - - - - - - -


    It wasn't his fault. Let's start with that.

    It wasn't his fault he got seasick. It wasn't his fault he had paperwork up the wah-hoo. And it definitely wasn't his fault that he was on lock down. But as Brendan stood there, cringing at the livid look his neighbor gave him, he couldn't help but feel like it was.

    “What do you mean you're not going?” the girl demanded to know. There was no vocal answer; Brendan smiled innocently and shrugged his shoulders, red eyes gleaming in the sun. It made her all the more furious, her right eye twitching, her hands balled into fists. “Brendan Robert Birch, you answer me right now!”

    The boy tilted his head to the left and shrugged his left shoulder, pressing his ear against it. His brow furrowed. “The word 'go,' a verb, often defined as 'to move or travel,'” he began, brow relaxing the further he spoke. He straightened his head. “‘You're,’ the contraction of ‘you are’ with ‘you are’ being ‘I am’ in this case. ‘Not,’ an adverb, used to express negation, denial, refusal. Therefore with my powers combined I, Brendan Birch, am not going.”

    His saucy remark was answered with a punch in the arm that made him step back. “Be serious!” she yelled. She put her hands on her hips, her fingers pressing against the band of her dark denim shorts, her sneaker tapping the dirt trail impatiently. “What do you mean you're not going?”

    “Well, he told you before a few days ago. I'm not sure why you don't believe him–”

    The girl quickly snapped her head to the left and glared at the boy standing behind her, making him jump back. “You stay out of this,” she grumbled.

    “Yes, ma'am.” The other boy meekly saluted her.

    Her head snapped back toward the nervous white-haired trainer in front of her who was currently staring at his untied shoelaces, arms limp by his side. “Well? Are you going to answer me?”

    He looked at her for a few seconds, contemplating, his tongue rolling around in his mouth. He crossed his arms in front of him, pressing his thumbs in the crooks of his arms. “May, I am ...” How could he phrase it politely? He smacked his lips together. “My dad's on my ass, May. The pokédex data I collected over our journey is so messed up right now. I gotta revise it and all that fun stuff. I just don't have the time for it.”

    This caught the attention of the boy standing behind the fuming May. “You have a pokédex? I didn't know you were under a pokémon researcher apprenticeship,” he commented, curious, raising an eyebrow.

    Brendan dug around in the pocket of his shorts and pulled out the red, square device, the plastic covering flashing before the other boy's eyes. “Sorta. Right now it's like I'm under internship for an apprenticeship. I'm applying for the real deal now. It’s something I wanted to do since I was in school. They prefer if you have traveling experience.” He sighed, pocketing the 'dex.

    “Really? You have one?” the other boy repeated. He blinked rapidly a few times and scratched his head. “It's not like I've seen you pull it out a lot. How do you even have data in the first–”

    “Wally!” May whined, interrupting him.

    “I'm just sayin'.” Wally pointed his head up, staring at the Hoenn sky. Gray clouds merged with white in huge, shapeless puffs. The wind teased his bangs, lifting them from his forehead. “Have you seen him pull it out? I mean, you've been traveling with him for a year, and he pulled it out, like, once? Like at the beginning of the adventure? Like when he thought it was important to do that sort of thing but realized how redundant that action would be? I mean, who really pays attention to that?”

    “How do you know that?” Brendan muttered, eyes shifting to the side.

    May brushed off the green-haired trainer's ramble. “Look, that's not what's important.”

    “Tell that to my dad,” argued Brendan, crossing his arms, the bottom of his black shirt flapping in the breeze. He stared off into the distance, eyes resting on the street corner where the dirt path and concrete sidewalk merged. A metal street sign was planted there with two blue metal slates pointing south and east, indicating the name of the dusty lane or the more refined concrete walkway. “He's been on me to apply for months now. I managed to hold off on it because we were busy with the Hoenn League, but since I have virtually been doing nothing for a couple weeks, I'm stuck.”

    “C'mon, Brendan.” May took a few steps forward and grabbed for Brendan's hand. She swung their entwined hands back and forth. “It'll be so much fun, and it's only for a week. You know you want to go.” She looked up at him through her eyelashes, eyes glimmering in the sunlight. “Please?”

    “May ...” Brendan leaned over and pressed his forehead against the girl's, the cloth of his bandanna soft against her skin. “You know you're my only kind-of-sort-of-not-really girlfriend, right?” he asked, red eyes staring into her blues ones.

    “Yes,” she replied softly, rubbing her lips together.

    He gently made their bodies sway from side to side. “And you know I'd do anything for you, right?” He let go of her hand and placed it on the small of her back, gently massaging it.

    “You two realize this sort of talk induces vomiting in others, right?” asked Wally with an eye roll.

    “Yes,” said May with a smile.

    “Was that to my question or to Brendan's?”

    “Sooo ...” Brendan let the word drag on. By now, both of his arms were wrapped lightly around May's waist. “If I would do anything for you, you should let me slide on this one,” he murmured, “because I can't go.”

    May immediately released herself from Brendan's grip and stomped the ground, kicking up dust. “You're so ... ugh! Annoying!” was her declaration. “I don't have time for this! I’ve got to get my luggage!” With another loud stomp, she swiveled on the balls of her feet, twisted around, and walked away, back stiff and fists straight at her side. Classic pissy march. Both boys watched as May's form descended down the dirt trail and back onto the concrete as she headed toward the rows of nearly identical homes. The twittering of taillow replaced the echoing of her stomps.

    Wally, an amused spectator throughout this, hooked his thumbs on his belt loops and turned his head, looking at the rolling green hills that bordered the south side of the small city. “You know, Brendan,” he began, “you knew about this trip for a while, but you waited until now to work on your apprenticeship?”

    Brendan sighed, looked around, and nudged his head in the direction of a wooden fence that bordered a field with grass that hadn't been trimmed in weeks. (He kept meaning to get on that, but he had more important tasks to keep up on, like sleeping in and playing with the newly hatched starter pokémon.) He walked over toward it and swung his legs over the fence, holding onto it to keep himself balanced and ignoring the wood splinters that dug into his palms. Wally followed him but didn't bother sitting, opting to lean against it instead, one leg crossed in front of the other.

    “Things have been ... tough lately,” Brendan replied, staring at the dandelions that grew along the fence posts. He kicked at one, and the white seeds exploded from the stem, twirling around his ankles before taking off into the air. “I've been trying to mend things.”

    Wally picked at his fingernails, head lowered. “Why?”

    “I told you about that letter, right?”

    “Vaguely.”

    Brendan readjusted the bandanna on his head before reaching for his belt and unclipping his red and black pokénav from it. He opened and closed the covering, listening to the satisfying clicks each movement produced. “I guess the idea behind it was starting with a clean slate. No more trying to hide what I had done on my journey, or why Muddy is wearing that silly bandanna on his tail”–he motioned toward his swampert a few yards away who was lounging at the edge of the makeshift pond his dad had created for pokémon–“or ... anything. The first person I had to get that through to was me. The second was my dad.”

    Wally lowered the stuffed backpack from his shoulders and nestled it between his sneakers. “Okay, but what does that have to do with the letter?”

    “I thought a letter would be a bit more ... personal–”

    “Meaning you were too chicken to do it in person.”

    “Yeah.” Brendan narrowed his eyes and looked at the windmills, tall, white pillars that kept a soft but constant breeze blowing through town. “I wrote him a letter – that letter was so ... bad fan fiction now that I think about it. Like the 'end to all endings' sort of thing. Like a cheap gimmick where the author had no idea what to do and tried to sum up everything in a few pages. Like rain on your wedding day. Like the good advice you just didn't take. Where was I going with this?”

    “You wrote him a letter,” Wally muttered. “Then you started describing cheap endings in fan fiction. Then you suddenly transitioned to that song 'Ironic.'”

    “Right. Anyway, I wrote him a letter explaining what I had learned during my journey and what I had done.”

    “Okay,” his friend replied airily.

    “What I had done, Wally,” he said with more stress.

    “Okay,” Wally replied in the same tone from before, flicking something off his thumb.

    “What I had done–”

    “Yeah, yeah,” his friend grumbled. “I heard you the first time. No need to sound like a broken record. Does anyone still listen to those? Is that simile still applicable in today's time?”

    Brendan sighed again, looking out toward the field, watching a flock of taillow fly from the tops of one tree to another. He was still fiddling with his pokénav, rolling the device in his hand like a bar of soap. “Needless to say, it did not go well.”

    “Which part?” asked Wally.

    Brendan paused, throwing his pokénav between his hands. “Um, most of it?” he replied lightly but questionably, rolling his eyes. “Probably the Team Magma thing. Oh, it could have been the lying about the Team Magma thing. Probably that. Forget that you willingly volunteered to take a part in one of the most diabolical plans in the entire region that almost got your friends killed–”

    “Don't forget the friend betraying,” Wally added in cheerfully.

    “Right. But lying about it? Hell no.” Brendan snorted and flicked his eyes over to the suburbs of the city, staring at the houses with identical red roof shingles with paint jobs roughly in the same brown color scheme. “I mean ... yeah, he voiced his 'disappointment,' whatever that means, but other than that, he hasn't really done much to me. Talked to me for that matter. He just seems ... distant, I guess. All he does is ask me to do things, and because I know things are awkward, I do them. This apprenticeship is just one of those things. I know he has really wanted me to do it ever since I got my trainer's license. And I wanted to do it, too.”

    Wally plucked a strand of green hair from his head (it was an odd nervous habit the boy picked up, Brendan realized. Probably from the days when he was dating May) and released it, watching as the wind picked it up and swept it away. “Wanted? Do you still want to do the apprenticeship? I hear it's a tough program to get into. You pretty much have to be the chosen one to get into those things.”

    “If you don't have connections.” Brendan winked, tapping his pokénav lightly against his forehead. “Not like that would help me; relatives aren’t allowed to give recommendations. That’s why they recommend you travel for a couple of years so you can build your network. I’m sure there’s someone out there who has a good opinion about me.” He looked suspiciously at Wally, an eyebrow raised. “Why? You interested? I'm sure Norman, or even my dad, could give you a good recommendation.”

    “I don't know. Maybe. I've been trying to figure out what I wanted to do with pokémon. I mean, I know it's early to start thinking about that stuff, but ... I guess ... I don't know ...” Wally trailed off thoughtfully, staring at the clouds. He dragged his foot back and forth, letting grains of sand roll under it. “Uh, anyway, what's your dissertation? You need one of those, right?”

    “No idea.” He grinned. “Like most of my life, I'll just bullshit something fancy.”

    “It's worked for you so far,” Wally snorted, rubbing his hands up and down his arms, trying to rid them of goosebumps.

    “I know, right?” Brendan hopped off the fence and looked down toward Wally's heavily packed bag, lightly kicking it with his dirty, black sneaker. “When does the bus leave?”

    “Time?”

    Brendan looked at his pokénav before pocketing it. “Five minutes ‘til two.”

    “Then in about an hour and a half or so. Hear from Chris yet?”

    “No texts in a while. Must mean he's flying here. The bus departs from Littleroot?”

    “Yep,” Wally said. “Why I'm here now instead of home, who knows? Guess I needed the walk. Mom has been rather clingy lately. Love her to bits, but ...” He bent over and picked up his backpack, swinging it over his shoulders and putting his arms through the straps. Wally looked past Brendan and admired the field behind him. Something glinted in the corner of his eye, so he turned his head to find the source. It was sunlight reflecting from one of the wide window of Professor Birch's laboratory, a dome-shaped building that rested nearby. “I guess that doesn't matter now. So you're really not going?”

    “I can't. I'd like to, but I can't. Or I shouldn't. It's not like you guys will miss me, and May will get over it once she's able to jump into a bikini and lounge and – dammit, I'm going to miss seeing May in a bikini? Eff me.” His hands went up to his bandanna and pulled the black cloth over his eyes, messing up his hair. “Why was I such a stupid kid on my journey, Wally? Why?”

    “What do you mean 'was?'” his friend joked back, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his khaki shorts.

    Brendan pulled his bandana up and swung his head toward the green-haired boy, staring dully at him as Wally innocently smiled back. He pulled off his bandanna and stared at it as it lightly flapped in the wind. The Hoenn symbol, the top half of a pokéball broken up in thick, basic curves, looked back at him with a dark green gaze. He noticed that the flapping was getting stronger and more erratic and, with his eyebrows furrowed, he looked up. Chris landed next to him – rather, he hung next to him, his right hand gripping the lowered claw of his charizard that was flapping his wings above the boys.

    “Latios,” Chris muttered, staring at his pokénav clutched in his other hand. He threw it toward Brendan who fumbled with the device before getting a grasp on it. “You lot need to lay off the text messages. In my days, we used letters. Emails even.” Chris released himself from the orange beast and looked up, smiling at his charizard's toothy grin. “Thanks for the ride, Charcoal. Think you can drop my bag?”

    Charcoal nodded and twisted his body slightly. Chris's black backpack slowly slid off from between the fire-type's wings and down onto the unaware Wally's head. He let out a loud, “Oof!” before grabbing the bag and throwing it at a laughing Chris. “Thanks for that,” muttered Wally dryly as Chris returned his charizard in a beam of red light.

    “Thanks for the ride, Charcoal. Promise we won’t do any long flights for a while.” Chris smiled at the ball gripped in his hand before clipping it next to the other five pokéballs on his belt. He looked toward Wally. “I thought you enjoyed random objects falling on your head. My mistake.”

    “Hilarious.”

    Chris swung his backpack over his shoulder. “Ah, Littleroot, you runt of a town. I missed ye.” He raised his arms in the air and spun around a few times, taking in a deep breath and exhaling loudly. He stopped, facing Brendan, his arms still in the air. “And Brendan! My comrade! My brother! My sweet little champion-in-the-making! I haven't seen you in so long!” Chris skipped over in slow, wide leaps and grabbed the bewildered white-haired boy, pulling him into an awkward hug. “Did you miss me?” he whispered, blowing air into Brendan's ear.

    Brendan squirmed out of Chris's hug and stood next to Wally, eye twitching. “I think you filled my weirdness quota of the day with that,” he murmured, thrusting Chris's pokénav into his chest. He retied the bandanna around his head, hiding his mussy hair.

    Chris laughed, pocketing the device. “I'll take that as a yes, then.” His eyes shifted toward Wally. “Wally, my comrade! My brother!” He took a step toward Wally who immediately took two steps back. “My sweet little champion-in-the-making who made it even closer!” He nudged Brendan in the arm with his elbow as Brendan glared at him. “Come here and give me a hug!”

    “No, I'm good!” he proclaimed, hands reaching up toward his hair and grasping the strands tightly.

    “Oh, you two are so ... boring. Why aren't you both excited for this little trip May planned out? And you!” Chris looked Brendan up and down before walking over to the fence and sitting on the top post, an eyebrow raised. “Why do you look like such crap?”

    Brendan stared down at his clothes. His jeans were caked with mud at the knees (he had played with the baby mudkip outside earlier) and his shirt had remnants of the toasted sandwich he had for lunch. If he raised his arms, he could distinctly see old sweat stains that rested at the corners of the sleeves. “Been busy,” was his simple reply as he sat next to Chris, Wally leaning next to him once more, fiddling with the bottom buttons of his white button-up shirt. “Trying to get on my dad's good side again.”

    “Ah, right. Your dad read that letter you were too chicken to tell him in person.” Chris rolled his eyes, tucking the end of his leather belt into a belt loop of his denim shorts. “If you weren't such a chump and talked to him in person, maybe he wouldn't be so upset about it. Did you ever really talk about it?”

    “Not really,” replied Brendan with shifty eyes. “I told him that it was no fault of my own that I joined–”

    “Technically,” Chris interrupted, “it was. You joined out of free will; it was only weeks later you realized what you got into, and that required, like, me and May to slap the eff out of you, and you were like, ‘Oh noes! What have I done?! Whineeeee.’ All for the sake of 'world saving' or whatever you thought Maxie was doing. Or was it the cool uniforms?”

    “A little of both. I told him that I regretted joining and I couldn't just 'leave.' I'm not sure if he believes me but ... Well, I'm not in jail, am I?”

    “Yes, that is quite an accomplishment.” Chris nodded. “Millions of people on the planet manage the same thing every day.”

    “Either way”–he rolled his eyes at Chris who reciprocated the gesture–“it's not worth the time to tell you what's been going on around here, but I will tell you I can't go on May's trip. I gotta work on my apprenticeship application.”

    “Oh, right, to kiss up to your dad. Nice.”

    “I try.” Brendan raised his head when he heard the distant sound of pebbles being crunched underneath wheels. Down the streets where homes resided, he noticed the girl wheeling a heavy case of floral-printed luggage behind her. She had tied her brown hair in a low ponytail so it wouldn't stick to the sides of her sweaty face.

    Chris noticed the girl as well. “Who's the hot chick coming up this way?” he asked, his eyes squinting as he grinned.

    “May, moron,” muttered Brendan.

    “Oh. She's a hottie.”

    “Shut up.”

    “Fine, she's ugly.”

    “She is not.”

    “You can't have it both ways.”

    “She is ugly to everyone else but me.”

    “Good luck telling her that.”

    The three boys watched as May made her way toward them, half-carrying, half-dragging her rolling luggage with one hand, her other hand positioned above her brow to protect her eyes from the glaring sun. She had kicked up dirt from the trail with her sneakers, letting the dust twirl around her bare legs and dilute the air space near her in a transparent brown tint. As she approached, she yelled, “For the love of latias! Are none of you going to help me?”

    “She needs helping wheeling luggage? That has wheels?” murmured Chris, smirking, red eyes flashing with amusement as May stomped the ground, grumbled something incoherent, and continued her trudge toward them, her backpack straps slipping past her shoulders and uncomfortably resting in the grooves of her elbows. He leaned forward and clasped his hands together, pressing them against his stomach.

    “She needs help with everything,” muttered Brendan, scratching the side of his nose with a dirty fingernail.

    “I heard that, you jerk!” screeched May, eyes furious.

    Wally pushed himself up from the fence and walked ahead toward May, helping her remove her awkwardly placed backpack from her arms.

    “Thank you, Wally. You always were such a sweetheart,” said May with a smile. Brendan held his hands out and Wally dropped the bag into his friend’s arms.

    May lowered the handle of her luggage back into its holder. She sat on top of it, arms crossed, balled hands tucked under her armpits. “I can't believe you're not going, B Boy,” she whined, scratching the back of her left ankle with her sandalled right foot. She pulled her bandanna from her back pocket and used it to wipe at the back of her neck. “I've been planning this cruise for weeks now. You told me you were going!”

    “I seriously don't remember,” he lied.

    “Liar.”

    Brendan hugged May's bag against his chest and gave the girl a weary look, eyes squinting and mouth tugged down into a frown. “You'll have fun without me. Trust me.”

    “Well, duh! Not the point!” She snatched her bag from the boy's hold and slipped the straps over her shoulder, pushing up the short sleeves of her red polo. She shoved her bandanna into an open side pocket. “The point is that you totally have been blowing me off whenever I asked if you were excited about the trip, or if you were getting ready for the trip, or whatever. You lied!” She angrily zipped up the open pocket.

    Brendan rolled his eyes in Wally’s direction and smirked as Wally smiled back, amused.

    “Well, what do you want me to say?” he asked as he looked back at May.

    “Um ... I’m sorry?”

    “Fine. I’m sorry.”

    “For what?”

    “For not going on your trip?”

    “No!” she huffed. She wrinkled her nose. “Not that!”

    Brendan scratched the side of his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t plan ahead?”

    “No!”

    “I’m sorry I have other things to do?”

    “I’m sorry you suck ass at apologizing,” Chris muttered under his breath.

    “No! Were you not listening to me ... again?” Her eyes narrowed.

    Brendan made sweeping motions with his right hand, his palm skyward and fingers slightly curled. “To be fair,” he began, his head tilting to the right, “you say a lot of things.” He tilted his head to the left. “I mean, some things are going to slip by, don’t you think?”

    “Ooh, bad, Brendan.” Chris shook his head as Wally gave him a sympathetic sigh. “Very bad.”

    May hopped off her luggage, putting her hands on her hips. She shook her head, her ponytail sweeping against her back, while pointing at Brendan who stepped back, startled. “You,” she began, “you ... I have nothing to say to you.”

    “Technically that was something,” he muttered.

    She let out a screech like she was a bird of prey and pulled up the handle of her luggage, kicking the bottom of it so it leaned at an angle. She started to walk down the dirt path, pebbles grinding underneath the wheels of her suitcase. Her arms were stiff; there was a stomp in her step. The three boys watched as she walked further away. She was heading for the bus station, Littleroot’s pathetic runt of a business district stretched out before her, the windows of its buildings gleaming, the buildings towering above the asphalt streets in their concrete structures.

    “You’re such a shitty boyfriend,” Chris said, head still turned.

    “A shitty kind-of-sort-of-not-really boyfriend,” he corrected.

    “Whatever.”

    The sound of wheels grinding stopped. “Are you two coming or not?!” May had both hands cupped around her mouth, her posture bent slightly forward. Even from here, Brendan could see the anger flash dangerously in her usually calm eyes. “HURRY UP!”

    Chris hopped off the fence. “Well,” he started, hands flying up and lacing themselves together on top of his spiky, black hair, “thanks for unleashing the beast on us and all, but we better head out. She’ll probably eat us if we don’t hurry ... which, in retrospect, might not be bad.” He winked at Brendan and let out a laugh as Brendan swiped at him. He turned toward Wally with a grimace. “Hope you have your bag of hair ready.”

    Wally wrapped his finger around the strap of his backpack with his right hand while patting the front left pocket of his shorts with the other. “Always,” he said with a grin.

    “And you two think I'm the freak.” Chris snapped his fingers in Brendan’s direction and pointed. “See ya in a week, sweet child o’ mine. Let’s mooooove it out, Wally.” He turned on the balls of his feet and started to walk in May’s direction, Wally following after him.

    Wally walked backward, waving his right hand in the air. “Bye, Brendan! Have fun!”

    Brendan raised his hand and dropped it, letting his palm smack against his thigh through his dirty jeans and wiping away the balls of dirt and crumbs that managed to stick. His friends jogged a bit to catch up with the girl, who was impatiently tapping her foot. As soon as they caught up with her, she spun around, ponytail swirling from the right to the left of her head. The three were off. He watched them, red eyes wide, hooking his thumbs on the outside corners of his pockets, leaning his weight on his left leg. The sun was hot on his head, bleeding into his bandanna. He reached up and rubbed his left shoulder, dispersing the heat his shirt absorbed.

    Extending his right leg, Brendan jumped, shifted his weight to his right foot, and swiveled, moving in the opposite direction of his friends and walking parallel to the crooked wooden fence bordering the laboratory’s green, unkempt pastures.

    Originally Posted: 29 July 2011
    Last Revised: 17 September 2011 for grammatical/syntax errors
    Last edited by Breezy; 18th November 2011 at 5:34 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    From the land down under...
    Posts
    7,122

    Default

    I have been meaning to read something by you so I think this will be the first of those somethings especially as this is one of those May and Brendan stories. =p I haven't read the prequel to this but we'll see how I go I guess!

    I quite like the beginning to this - the characters are quite interesting and fleshed out as I expected and the dialogue was pretty entertaining as well - none of that felt stale to me. The plot is interesting as well - I do wonder how his attempt to get back in his father's good books will go and why he's exactly against telling May this as well (but not her brother for instance).

    And Chris is right - Brandan is bad at being a boyfriend...or not-so-etc. XD

    Therefore with my powers combined I, Brendan Birch, am not going.”
    But does he have Heart!?
    A metal street sign was planted there with two, blue, thin metal slates pointing south and east, indicating the name of the dusty lane or the more refined concrete walkway.
    would it be 'or', or 'and'...? (along with names with the latter). Although I guess it works both ways.
    “Sooo ...”
    Generally I've seen ellipses attached to the word so it seems a bit odd to me that you don't do so here, but at any rate you are consistent with it...
    “I wrote him a letter – that letter was so ... bad fan fiction now that I think about it.
    XD
    Chris released himself from the orange beast and looked up, smilingat his charizard's toothy grin.
    Needs a space.
    Wally's response was like a knee-jerk reaction. “No, I'm good!” he proclaimed, hands reaching up toward his hair and grasping the strands tightly.
    I'm not sure the first line is needed given his reaction kinda tells us as much in itself so hence it feels unnecessary to me.

    I don't really have much else to say besides that overall it was a neat beginning so... good luck with the rest!

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    The BBS Forums! Join in!

    Tied to this Pokemon Magazine! Looking for contributors - check it out!
    Why should you? Well, Wynaut?
    Current Article: From RSE to ORAS - what has improved? We look at aspects that changed for better or worse.
    Previous Article: Dude, where's my Game Corner? Learn why you can't gamble in ORAS. =(
    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    A therapist's Sofa
    Posts
    996

    Default

    Say whaaaaaaaat.......?

    Breezy is posting that fic she was writing maybe I should do the same xD I shall read because I'm cool like that.

    With another loud stomp, she swiveled on the balls of her feet, twisted around, and walked away, back stiff and fists straight at her side. Classic pissy march.
    lawl

    The twittering of taillow replaced the echoing of her stomps.
    Brendan and May just had a fight! Damn character limit, I'll keep you up to date with this.

    Birds and technology don't mix :P

    “I wrote him a letter – that letter was so ... bad fan fiction now that I think about it. Like the 'end to all endings' sort of thing. Like a cheap gimmick where the author had no idea what to do and tried to sum up everything in a few pages.
    :3

    Breezy, you're blatant disregard for the fourth wall makes me lulz

    Like rain on your wedding day. Like the good advice you just didn't take. Where was I going with this?”
    Ironic, but not at the same time, unless you were marrying a weatherman :P

    “She needs helping wheeling luggage? That has wheels?” murmured Chris, smirking,
    You know, at some point during the creation of the suitcase, the guy who invented must have looked at it and thought, 'Nah, it doesn't need wheels.' What an idiot.

    “See ya in a week, sweet child o’ mine. Let’s mooooove it out, Wally.”
    Yay for random Guns n Roses references xD

    Bob's better than me at beta-type thingies so I'll not bother, I did see a few things, but he got them, I just like quoting lulz :P

    You know, I've missed Brendan's uselessness at thinking about other people, especially May. Let's hope he has a plan before Chris and Wally do too much damage, bros will be bros xD
    Skogsrĺ

    Gardenia never liked the Old Chateau, but what if the Old Chateau liked her?

    Author's Profile

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Behind you...
    Posts
    1,292

    Default

    No way! It's back again!

    *Battery starts going low...*

    Crud, I gotta run. But I'll be back with a review the minute i get some juice in this puppy!

    (After juicing and being a lazy bum...)

    Right, let's begin. I don't know how much more I can add after all the accolades preceding reviewers have given, but I will add that your opening chapter displayed the changes that the core members of the story have experienced brilliantly.

    Oh, and yay for demolishing the fourth wall! ^_^

    “Yeah.” Brendan narrowed his eyes and looked at the windmills, tall, white pillars that kept a soft but constant breeze blowing through town. “I wrote him a letter – that letter was so ... bad fan fiction now that I think about it. Like the 'end to all endings' sort of thing. Like a cheap gimmick where the author had no idea what to do and tried to sum up everything in a few pages. Like rain on your wedding day. Like the good advice you just didn't take. Where was I going with this?”

    “You wrote him a letter,” Wally muttered. “Then you started describing cheap endings in fan fiction. Then you suddenly transitioned to that song 'Ironic.'”
    Yay!

    L@er!
    Last edited by Air Dragon; 1st August 2011 at 3:17 PM.
    The Corei Quest's latest chapter: Chapter Forty Seven: Tricks of the Trade (24 April 2014)
    PROJECT C-SQUARE STATUS = 100.00% Complete (11-12-2010, ca. 2:40pm GMT)
    HEART OF SEVEN STONES IS ON INDEFINITE HIATUS (REAPED) UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
    Butt-ugly Banner by Me
    (Still waiting on the excellent Saffire Persian for another awesome TCQ banner!)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    The bottom of a lake
    Posts
    641

    Default

    Agh, Breezy, this is such a good beginning to what I'm sure will be an excellent story!

    Like rain on your wedding day. Like the good advice you just didn't take.
    I love that song!

    I did see one thing I thought just didn't seem right:

    A metal street sign was planted there with two, blue, thin metal slates pointing south and east, indicating the name of the dusty lane or the more refined concrete walkway.
    Is a comma really needed after 'two'? Just reading it didn't seem right. And if you took away the 'blue', it would read: with two, thin metal slates pointing south and east. Forgive me if you are correct, but just looking it over felt awkward for me to read.

    This is wonderful, and I hope to be able to learn from your great writing and hope everyone else can enjoy this as it deserves to be praised!


    My fic, Drowning.
    Cye of the Torrent is my bishie.
    Credit to Sketchie of Coronet Designs

  6. #6

    Default

    I haven't read the (enormous) prequel but I'll give this one a shot! One thing:

    She had tied her brown hair in a low ponytail, gripping it with one hand so it wouldn't stick to the back of her sweaty neck.



    The three boys watched as May made her way toward them, half-carrying, half-dragging her rolling luggage with one hand, her other hand positioned above her brow to protect her eyes from the glaring sun.
    I don't know why I noticed this, but the hand-switch seemed weird to me. Because, no, you can't just move your hand like that. It just plain doesn't happen. >:[

    Anyway, as far as characters go, I don't think not reading the previous fic will give me any problems. They're all well-portrayed and I think I got a good sense of their personalities within several lines. It seems like a group that will be fun to read about, assuming you have them all travel (or whatever you plan to do with them) together. I have to admit, though, I'm getting kind of panicky thinking that the bus is ABOUT TO LEAVE and Brendan isn't even ready but that's probably because I like to leave ten minutes early for everything. Now that I think about it, though, if the BF part of the title is relevant, they probably won't be going on a cruise anyway. So disregard that short ramble.

    As you might have guessed, I really don't know what's going to happen next, other than the fact that it'll somehow end up at some form of the Battle Frontier so I'm pretty curious.

    I also don't have much more to say beyond that. /lame. Not much to criticize, so good job on that! My one complaint is that I think I'm too young to get most of the song references. :( It really spoiled the entire fic for me. Like, every word.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    unova
    Posts
    108

    Default

    hey breezy awsome fic, i read HLBMA too and it was good


    white fc:4814-0055-9349

    I Have Claimed the SELF COOKING BACON! EMBOAR


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Secretly giving you bunny ears
    Posts
    603

    Talking

    OH MY GOODNESS. IT'S FINALLY HERE, BETTER THAN EVER, AND BRENDAN IS STILL A SUB-AMATEUR BOYFRIEND, AND MAY STILL HAS PMS! YAYZ!

    Ahem, sorry about that(sometimes I can't resist caps abuse). I've been looking forward to this for such a long time, and now my prayers have been answered. Excellent job on this first chapter, Breezy!

    *proceeds to give Breezy a homemade chocolate chip cookie*
    ~Fact of the Whenever~
    Life gives you lemons because a large portion of humanity wasn't thankful for the grapes it already had. Please treat all fruit with respect.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    3,038

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bobandbill View Post
    I have been meaning to read something by you so I think this will be the first of those somethings especially as this is one of those May and Brendan stories. =p I haven't read the prequel to this but we'll see how I go I guess!
    You couldn't have picked a worse story to start with. XP Nah, I kid. Hopefully its sequel-ness won't confuse you or leave you in the dark for the more important things.

    I quite like the beginning to this - the characters are quite interesting and fleshed out as I expected and the dialogue was pretty entertaining as well - none of that felt stale to me. The plot is interesting as well - I do wonder how his attempt to get back in his father's good books will go and why he's exactly against telling May this as well (but not her brother for instance).

    And Chris is right - Brandan is bad at being a boyfriend...or not-so-etc. XD
    Thanks. =) I adore these set of characters, and even though it had been a year and a half since I've written with them, it felt very natural to use them. Their dialogue/interactions come real easy. As for plot ... well ... ^^; No comment. I do wonder that too.

    This is game canon and not anime canon by the way with the family roots from Ru/Sa. Brendan is the playable boy character while May is the playable girl character (though I figure you know this =P). In Ru/Sa, both were only children. Emerald introduce a younger sibling for the Birch family (which in this story is Brendan) but it was a little too late for me to introduce the younger sibling. I figured it'd be odd to drop in a random kid we hadn't seen. XP Though in retrospect, it could have been a really, really cool idea.

    Ramble. Anyway, no Max if that's what you're wondering. =P

    But does he have Heart!?
    XP Definitely inspired from Captain Planet, yes.

    would it be 'or', or 'and'...? (along with names with the latter). Although I guess it works both ways.
    I think I put "or" to indicate that its talking about two separate roads, just in case "and" would trick a reader into thinking that one street has the dusty road AND concrete sidewalk. I'll look it over though.

    Generally I've seen ellipses attached to the word so it seems a bit odd to me that you don't do so here, but at any rate you are consistent with it...
    I don't think it's really a rule if you should or shouldn't space before the ellipsis as long as you're consistent with it. This site I use for grammar info tells me to space around it though.

    XD
    I'm trying to figure out if insulting myself with breaking the fourth wall jokes is either a test of my self-confidence or my lack thereof. =3

    Needs a space.
    Thanks for the catch. =D

    I'm not sure the first line is needed given his reaction kinda tells us as much in itself so hence it feels unnecessary to me.
    Very true. Hated that first line anyway. XP Thanks for the catch.

    I don't really have much else to say besides that overall it was a neat beginning so... good luck with the rest!
    Thanks for the comments and critique. It's greatly appreciated, and I'm glad you had some fun reading it. =)



    Quote Originally Posted by Diddy View Post
    Say whaaaaaaaat.......?

    Breezy is posting that fic she was writing maybe I should do the same xD I shall read because I'm cool like that.
    Inorite. I bet I finish this story before you post yours. XP I kid. Maybe. Hopefully I am.

    lawl
    I missed pissy May syndrome.

    Brendan and May just had a fight! Damn character limit, I'll keep you up to date with this.

    Birds and technology don't mix :P
    Damn ye, Twitter! *shake fist*

    Brendan and May fighting is as common as Brendan and May fighting. Yes, I used it as an example. What of it? I do have to say that it was nice to write a fight on more shallow terms rather than "Lull's" psychological warfare between Lucas and Dawn's conversations. It's the lack of what to say vs. what to say to kill my opponent. Was nice. =3

    :3

    Breezy, you're blatant disregard for the fourth wall makes me lulz
    Me too. =) Lulz.

    Ironic, but not at the same time, unless you were marrying a weatherman :P
    You know, I really have no idea why I quote that song so much. This is the second time I've used it in any of my stories, which is two times too many IMO. I think it's cuz it amuses me cuz the things she says isn't entirely ironic, just coincidental, but us saying is not ironic is kind of ironic in itself.

    DEEP.

    You know, at some point during the creation of the suitcase, the guy who invented must have looked at it and thought, 'Nah, it doesn't need wheels.' What an idiot.
    He must be death glaring at the guy who did decide to stick wheels on the luggage. =P

    Yay for random Guns n Roses references xD
    I figured you'd be the one to catch this one. =P This was so random. Felt like Chris thing to say.

    Bob's better than me at beta-type thingies so I'll not bother, I did see a few things, but he got them, I just like quoting lulz :P

    You know, I've missed Brendan's uselessness at thinking about other people, especially May. Let's hope he has a plan before Chris and Wally do too much damage, bros will be bros xD
    I missed it too; he's really dense when it comes to people. Like ridiculously. I am going to reintroduce a new side to him in later chapters, which should be interesting to balance with his less-than-admirable people skills. Big plans ahoy.

    Thanks for the R&R!



    Quote Originally Posted by Air Dragon View Post
    No way! It's back again!

    *Battery starts going low...*

    Crud, I gotta run. But I'll be back with a review the minute i get some juice in this puppy!

    L@er!
    Will be looking forward to your comments. =) Thanks for reading.



    Quote Originally Posted by starliteevee View Post
    Agh, Breezy, this is such a good beginning to what I'm sure will be an excellent story!
    Thanks! Glad you enjoyed the beginning.

    I love that song!
    I'm just glad you know what song it is. XP

    I did see one thing I thought just didn't seem right:

    Is a comma really needed after 'two'? Just reading it didn't seem right. And if you took away the 'blue', it would read: with two, thin metal slates pointing south and east. Forgive me if you are correct, but just looking it over felt awkward for me to read.
    Nah, you're right, and thanks for the catch. Will edit that comma out soon.

    This is wonderful, and I hope to be able to learn from your great writing and hope everyone else can enjoy this as it deserves to be praised!
    Thanks for the comments, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. =)



    Quote Originally Posted by [Imaginative]:[Clockwork] View Post
    I haven't read the (enormous) prequel but I'll give this one a shot! One thing:

    I don't know why I noticed this, but the hand-switch seemed weird to me. Because, no, you can't just move your hand like that. It just plain doesn't happen. >:[
    I'm actually not sure how you're reading these descriptors. Do you care to elaborate on how you're seeing it?

    From my view, the first one is her arm reaching behind her to grab her ponytail by the top so her thumb is lifting her hair away from her sticky neck, and the second descriptor is her hands doing two things at the same time (protecting her eyes from the sun while carrying her luggage). I think your critique has something to do with the "one hand" descriptor, but I'm not exactly sure what, so if you could explain your problem with it further, that'd be great. =P

    Anyway, as far as characters go, I don't think not reading the previous fic will give me any problems. They're all well-portrayed and I think I got a good sense of their personalities within several lines. It seems like a group that will be fun to read about, assuming you have them all travel (or whatever you plan to do with them) together.
    Woo, that's good. They get a little more complex later on, but for surface level stuff, I'm glad their day-to-day personalities shone through. They're all different enough that they can hold their own weight in solo scenes but aren't too dislike each other that it would create too much dissension. Supposedly. ;P But yeah, they're a fun batch to work with; they play off each other nicely.

    I have to admit, though, I'm getting kind of panicky thinking that the bus is ABOUT TO LEAVE and Brendan isn't even ready but that's probably because I like to leave ten minutes early for everything. Now that I think about it, though, if the BF part of the title is relevant, they probably won't be going on a cruise anyway. So disregard that short ramble.
    Nah, Brendan missing the cruise is important part of the story, along with May going on it without him.

    I also don't have much more to say beyond that. /lame. Not much to criticize, so good job on that! My one complaint is that I think I'm too young to get most of the song references. It really spoiled the entire fic for me. Like, every word.
    Ha, sorry about that. =P Hopefully my later song references will be more up-to-date, bahaha. I am glad that you enjoyed and wouldn't put back by its sequel-ness. Thanks for reading!



    Quote Originally Posted by jolteon27 View Post
    hey breezy awsome fic, i read HLBMA too and it was good
    Thanks for reading HLBMA and this fic. Glad you liked it. =)


    Quote Originally Posted by ilovedragonites View Post
    OH MY GOODNESS. IT'S FINALLY HERE, BETTER THAN EVER, AND BRENDAN IS STILL A SUB-AMATEUR BOYFRIEND, AND MAY STILL HAS PMS! YAYZ!
    HOORAY! XP Brendan really sucks amirite? May's anger is justified, albeit a little blown out of proportion like always. =3

    Ahem, sorry about that(sometimes I can't resist caps abuse). I've been looking forward to this for such a long time, and now my prayers have been answered. Excellent job on this first chapter, Breezy!

    *proceeds to give Breezy a homemade chocolate chip cookie*
    Hope you didn't have to wait that long. D: I am glad that you were excited to see this, and I'm equally glad that you enjoyed what you've seen so far.

    And nom cookie. =3 Thanks for reviewing!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    St. Louis, Missouri.
    Posts
    260

    Default

    Since most of the grammatical critique has been properly handled, I'm going to look at the characters and quotes and give my eccentric and borderline-insane perspective on them:

    “What do you mean you're not going?” the girl demanded to know. There was no vocal answer; Brendan smiled innocently and shrugged his shoulders, red eyes gleaming in the sun. It made her all the more furious, her right eye twitching, her hands balled into fists. “Brendan Robert Birch, you answer me right now!"
    I had to suppress a snicker at that line. May sounds just like my mother (and I just realized how strange that sentence sounded while I typed it out).

    “I'm just sayin'.” Wally pointed his head up, staring at the Hoenn sky. Gray clouds merged with white in huge, shapeless puffs. The wind teased his bangs, lifting them from his forehead. “Have you seen him pull it out? I mean, you've been traveling with him for a year, and he pulled it out, like, once? Like at the beginning of the adventure? Like when he thought it was important to do that sort of thing but realized how redundant that action would be? I mean, who really pays attention to that?”

    “How do you know that?” Brendan muttered, eyes shifting to the side.
    Yes, Wally: how do you know that? I'm certain it doesn't have anything to do with the now-cracked fourth wall...or does it?

    “Yeah.” Brendan narrowed his eyes and looked at the windmills, tall, white pillars that kept a soft but constant breeze blowing through town. “I wrote him a letter – that letter was so ... bad fan fiction now that I think about it. Like the 'end to all endings' sort of thing. Like a cheap gimmick where the author had no idea what to do and tried to sum up everything in a few pages. Like rain on your wedding day. Like the good advice you just didn't take. Where was I going with this?
    Shattering of the fourth wall aside, Brendan is giving off very bad vibes. His karma levels have just dropped to an all-time low. Ugh...I hate that song...

    “Right. But lying about it? Hell no.” Brendan snorted and flicked his eyes over to the suburbs of the city, staring at the houses with identical red roof shingles with paint jobs roughly in the same brown color scheme. “I mean ... yeah, he voiced his 'disappointment,' whatever that means, but other than that, he hasn't really done much to me. Talked to me for that matter. He just seems ... distant, I guess. All he does is ask me to do things, and because I know things are awkward, I do them. This apprenticeship is just one of those things. I know he has really wanted me to do it ever since I got my trainer's license. And I wanted to do it, too.”
    Okay, this is an interesting insight into Birch's and Brendan's characters. From what I saw of Birch in the prequel, he seemed like a loving father, if a bit scatter-brained. I don't get this. Exactly how distant is Birch with Brendan? Obviously he cared enough to stand up for Brendan in the prequel, so I really don't know if he would be callous enough to completely ignore Brendan - if that is even the case; I don't know how angry Birch is with Brendan.

    As for Brendan? I'm seeing a lot of guilt, even if he isn't fully willing to admit it. There's got to be some kind of friction between him and his father that hasn't been explained yet; even if the letter wasn't good enough to explain everything, it still...dammit, I'm losing my train of thought. The point I'm trying to make? There's something we aren't seeing. I don't know if Birch is upset at Brendan for lying about his past with the Magmas or if he's upset with himself for blindly putting his faith into Brendan and being disappointed. Either way, he's ignoring Brendan to some degree - maybe because he doesn't want to snap at him or because he doesn't want to talk to him - and it's making Brendan feel like he has to make it up to him.

    It's very subtle, and it's an interesting insight into their characters. I just don't know if it's good or bad...yet.

    Wally plucked a strand of green hair from his head (it was an odd nervous habit the boy picked up, Brendan realized. Probably from the days when he was dating May) and released it, watching as the wind picked it up and swept it away. “Wanted? Do you still want to do the apprenticeship? I hear it's a tough program to get into. You pretty much have to be the chosen one to get into those things.”
    Oh, I can't stop laughing at that. Being around May would make any guy want to pull their hair out.

    “Latios,” Chris muttered, staring at his pokénav clutched in his other hand. He threw it toward Brendan who fumbled with the device before getting a grasp on it. “You lot need to lay off the text messages. In my days, we used letters. Emails even.” Chris released himself from the orange beast and looked up, smilingat his charizard's toothy grin. “Thanks for the ride, Charcoal. Think you can drop my bag?”
    Thank you, Chris! That's what I keep telling everyone, but no-o; they just keep texting in theaters, in chatrooms, in ballparks, and they don't have the decency to use proper English, and... -rants and raves about society going downhill-

    “Either way”–he rolled his eyes at Chris who reciprocated the gesture–“it's not worth the time to tell you what's been going on around here, but I will tell you I can't go on May's trip. I gotta work on my apprenticeship application.”
    Hang on; shouldn't there be spaces between the dashes and the quotation marks? I'm also wondering if there should be a comma after the word "way".

    “She needs helping wheeling luggage? That has wheels?” murmured Chris, smirking, red eyes flashing with amusement as May stomped the ground, grumbled something incoherent, and continued her trudge toward them, her backpack straps slipping past her shoulders and uncomfortably resting in the grooves of her elbows. He leaned forward and clasped his hands together, pressing them against his stomach.

    “She needs help with everything,” muttered Brendan, scratching the side of his nose with a dirty fingernail.

    “I heard that, you jerk!” screeched May, eyes furious.
    I swear, I am never going to be able to understand the fairer sex for as long as I live.

    “And you two think I'm the freak.” Chris snapped his fingers in Brendan’s direction and pointed. “See ya in a week, sweet child o’ mine. Let’s mooooove it out, Wally.” He turned on the balls of his feet and started to walk in May’s direction, Wally following after him.
    Thank you, Chris, for negating the bad vibes of Brendan's hideous pop song with some amazing Guns N' Roses lyrics. The world needs more rock!

    Anyway, this is an interesting set-up. I'm wondering what problems May will have. I wonder how strained the relationship between Brendan and his father is. So far, it's just dialogue and hints. Oh well. I guess I'll have to see the next chapter in order to find out.
    CURRENT STORY

    A Time for Everything - Kalos has lived peacefully for far too long, following the ideals of the corrupt. It's time to change that... An AU of X/Y.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    3,038

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    I had to suppress a snicker at that line. May sounds just like my mother (and I just realized how strange that sentence sounded while I typed it out).
    Well, May is kind of ... motherly. Hahaha. She's what I like to call feisty. =P

    Yes, Wally: how do you know that? I'm certain it doesn't have anything to do with the now-cracked fourth wall...or does it?
    Glad you caught this fourth wall breakage. =P Was wondering if anyone would point it out.

    Shattering of the fourth wall aside, Brendan is giving off very bad vibes. His karma levels have just dropped to an all-time low. Ugh...I hate that song...
    It's like ten thousand spoooooons when all you need is a knife. <3

    Okay, this is an interesting insight into Birch's and Brendan's characters. From what I saw of Birch in the prequel, he seemed like a loving father, if a bit scatter-brained. I don't get this. Exactly how distant is Birch with Brendan? Obviously he cared enough to stand up for Brendan in the prequel, so I really don't know if he would be callous enough to completely ignore Brendan - if that is even the case; I don't know how angry Birch is with Brendan.

    As for Brendan? I'm seeing a lot of guilt, even if he isn't fully willing to admit it. There's got to be some kind of friction between him and his father that hasn't been explained yet; even if the letter wasn't good enough to explain everything, it still...dammit, I'm losing my train of thought. The point I'm trying to make? There's something we aren't seeing. I don't know if Birch is upset at Brendan for lying about his past with the Magmas or if he's upset with himself for blindly putting his faith into Brendan and being disappointed. Either way, he's ignoring Brendan to some degree - maybe because he doesn't want to snap at him or because he doesn't want to talk to him - and it's making Brendan feel like he has to make it up to him.
    Interesting insight. I'm not going to entirely spoil their relationship now (nor do I think you'd want me to). I will say your Brendan analysis is pretty spot on; he does feel some sort of guilt/regret for his previous actions. It will touched more upon in chapter two. You should also remember that Brendan is a character that blows things up out of proportion (he was the character that got ragey jealous over Wally thanking May instead of him when they helped him catch a pokemon after all); he's not entirely reliable and isn't entirely insightful when it comes to reading the feelings/thoughts of other characters. So for all you know, Birch might be treating Brendan as he usual does before Brendan left for his journey. It might just be Brendan once again misinterpreting his father's action or just making a situation more dramatic than necessary. That boy should write plays with all the self-created drama he creates in his head. =P

    Oh, I can't stop laughing at that. Being around May would make any guy want to pull their hair out.
    It's both creepy and funny at the same time.

    Thank you, Chris! That's what I keep telling everyone, but no-o; they just keep texting in theaters, in chatrooms, in ballparks, and they don't have the decency to use proper English, and... -rants and raves about society going downhill-
    Mm, glad you commented on this. Keep this thought in mind for waaaay later chapters. =P

    Hang on; shouldn't there be spaces between the dashes and the quotation marks? I'm also wondering if there should be a comma after the word "way".
    I got my info from the Chicago Manual of Style (though I think it should be the same for other styles), but the dash goes on the outside with no space. The dash on the outside indicates that the dialogue is continuous rather than being cut off. (Inside dashes, as you probably know, indicate dialogue being interrupted.)

    I swear, I am never going to be able to understand the fairer sex for as long as I live.
    Fair enough. ;D Though the opposite sex is usually hard to understand for everyone.

    Thank you, Chris, for negating the bad vibes of Brendan's hideous pop song with some amazing Guns N' Roses lyrics. The world needs more rock!
    Haha, glad you caught this one too.

    Anyway, this is an interesting set-up. I'm wondering what problems May will have. I wonder how strained the relationship between Brendan and his father is. So far, it's just dialogue and hints. Oh well. I guess I'll have to see the next chapter in order to find out.
    Yep. The next few chapters will hopefully answer those questions. I just wanted to jump straight back into the world so we can all get used to being back in Brendan and May's insane world.

    Thanks for reviewing. =)

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Hoenn
    Posts
    785

    Default

    Great Fic! I was a big fan of HLBMA, despite never reviewing( I'm lazy. Sorry.) ! Your caracters are very well developed. The hoenn games were my favorites in the series, so I'm very excited to see such a great story about them, and can't waitg to see what else you do with the story! Curse you Brendan, for being such a crappy boyfriend for May! Oh, and about the fourth wall, not only did you break it, but you hit it repeatedly with the wrecking ball of comedy, and then dropped it off a fifty foot cliff into a volcano. GOOD JOB!!! Keep up the good work!

    EDIT: I forgot to ask, can I be added to the PM list?
    Last edited by Treecko's Awesomeness; 5th August 2011 at 10:22 PM.
    My fan-fic(Credit to Gelatino95 at Crazy Dragon Graphics for the userbar) Author's profile
    And here's an awesome RPG. It has dinosaurs!And a sprite comic, because I can't draw!

    Please click my dragon(s)!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    3,038

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by treeko's awesomeness View Post
    Great Fic! I was a big fan of HLBMA, despite never reviewing( I'm lazy. Sorry.) ! Your caracters are very well developed. The hoenn games were my favorites in the series, so I'm very excited to see such a great story about them, and can't waitg to see what else you do with the story! Curse you Brendan, for being such a crappy boyfriend for May! Oh, and about the fourth wall, not only did you break it, but you hit it repeatedly with the wrecking ball of comedy, and then dropped it off a fifty foot cliff into a volcano. GOOD JOB!!! Keep up the good work!
    Hey, thanks for reading HLBMA. I'm glad you enjoyed it and this story as well. Ru/Sa/Em is my favorite out of the entire series so far as well. =P

    And yes. We still can't too much brilliance out of dear little B Boy here. Some fun stuff ahead that's for sure.

    Thanks for the review!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    3,038

    Default

    - - - - - - - -
    Letters in the Mail
    - - - - - - - -


    Brendan was overwhelmed with the sudden realization that he was alone. He felt it as he looked toward the sky, contemplating the chance of rain (the skies were blue and the sun was shining, but the gray clouds said otherwise). He heard silence between the tweets of birds, the rush of cars down the city, and it made him panicky in some ways, tension running through his veins and gathering in the fingers pressed against his neck. He wiggled them and let them grip his neck, his nails digging into his skin. He was alone, alone, alone; he had been alone for a while, really, but he had no one to call up, no one to hang out with – he only had, like, three friends, and all three of them were now out of town on some stupid cruise. But that didn't matter, right? Brendan was independent, a freethinker, someone who could easily amuse himself with balls of lint.

    Silence. Overbearing silence. Empty, hollow silence, echoing itself vainly whenever it calls down narrow halls with tile flooring. Silence that likes to take up the space in between the noises of everyday life, a constant reminder that we aren’t alone but, at the same time, very alone. A paradox, silence. Lots of big words, silence. Lots of unnecessary tangents to fill up time and space, silence. Language. More words. Paragraphs. Silence.

    He scuffed his foot, the sound creating a noise akin to a needle scratching a record (Wally was right: using record players as a simile is pretty outdated. MP3s skip sometimes, don’t they? Or was his computer just shitty?), trying to kill the loud silence, but it only multiplied like rabbits in spring once the dust settled. He was alone, but this time it was magnified, intensified. (This time he was positive he was alone. Positive.) His stomach felt like it was filled with a lunch of cold air, and his throat was tight, and it took some concentration not to vomit up his loneliness.

    How annoyingly poetic. He rolled his eyes. He had no idea why he felt this way all of a sudden. Maybe because this time there were no distractions, no way for him to put off this apprenticeship application. He had to get his shit done, and that made him sad in a way, something twisting painfully inside and – God, why was he upset over this? Over getting his shit together? Over growing up? That’s what you’re supposed to do when you get older. You grow up because if you don’t grow up, you’re either stagnant, forced to be a stupid fourteen, almost fifteen, year-old for the rest of your life, like the goddamn Peter Pan, or you grow down, some sort of Benjamin Button shit. This was right. This is what he had to get on his dad’s good side again. But ... well, shit, come on! Who doesn't love procrastination and watching television in sweats from noon to five while eating cereal from the box?

    Brendan heard footsteps, louder, faster, and a wild flail of arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him into an awkward backwards hug. He recognized her scent, sweet but not overbearingly so. He recognized her touch, skin lightly kissed by the sun.

    “You really can’t come?” a girl’s voice whined, muffled.

    Brendan turned around in the girl’s grip and wrapped his own arms around her lower back. Like before, he gently swayed them back and forth like they were dancing – dancing to silence, the loud, annoying, screechy silence that tends to repeat itself at awkward moments to once again fill space. “May, you know I have a lot of stuff to fix here.”

    As annoyed as the girl got with his stupid antics – and latios only knows how stupid his antics were – she was good at understanding. In some ways, he felt like her supposed anger was all an act, a subtle attempt in pushing his buttons because that was her thing, pushing his buttons until he flipped a bitch, and she, in turn, flipped a bitch, and it was one, fun endless cycle of flipping and bitching. And silence. Poetic silence. And something with being alone.

    Still, she couldn’t hide the way her eyes reflected disappointment, trying to blink it away but failing. She nodded anyway. “I know, and I hope it’s worth it,” she teased, playfully wrinkling her nose. “Do your pops proud, B Boy.”

    Brendan rested his hands lightly against the sides of his face and gently kissed her forehead. “I’ll try.”

    May stood on tippy-toe and pecked his lips, her cheeks flushed, and sweet groudon, she looks gorgeous, he mused, unable to hide his goofy grin. This only made her giggle. “I’ll get you a cool keychain,” she said.

    “One that says, ‘My friends went on a cruise, and all I got was this stupid keychain?’”

    She stepped back, one hand wrapped around his right wrist. “Yeah. Or something that lights up. I know how lights distract you.”

    “Goody.” He grinned. “Have fun.”

    “Will do.” She released his wrists from her grip and mock saluted him. “I’ll see ya in a week, B Boy. Don’t miss me too much.” She winked.

    “I’ll try.”

    She blew him a kiss and skipped down the dirt road to catch up with the two boys waiting for her at the end of the block. (He could imagine Wally’s eyes rolling and Chris snickering at the public display of affection.) He turned back around and started his ascent toward the laboratory’s entrance.

    In some ways, he was relieved he didn’t go. Sure, a vacation would have been nice, breaking up the tedious work of watching television hours at a time, and he hadn’t seen Chris or Wally in weeks. But he really needed the time to stop, breathe, and think, take life seriously for once. He had been away from home for more than a year, scraping his knees, sleeping in latios-knows-what, and going days without showering, sometimes to spite May – look. She deserved it. She took the last piece of food on a two-day hike, and the punishment for not sharing is a smelly boy with greasy hair because sharing is caring and not sharing is overbearing … in smell. Where was he going with this?

    Right. Good to be home, yada, yada. Life had been so wrapped around his external goals – finding a certain type of pokémon for his dad, getting all his gym badges, qualifying for the league, placing in the league, failing in the league, stop being annoyed by May, start liking May as a friend, start liking May as more than a friend, etcetera – that he really didn’t know who he was anymore. Along the way, the cocky trainer who came off rude to strangers became the cocky trainer who came off rude to strangers but had three friends to smack him in the head and tell him to apologize.

    “Journeys” are supposed to help you figure out who you are, but he felt more lost than ever. Most trainers start off as blank slates; he didn’t. You’re the son of Professor Birch, and you’re expected to be something. He was supposed to be the shit, the top banana, because his dad was the shit, the top banana, in his own right. Of course he was that “bright-eyed” kid, but he had expectations to fulfill, a parent to please. It was a constant thought nuzzled in his mind. When he thought about it, it was for this very reason that he bizarrely believed and joined Team Magma. Look at me! I’m doing something useful! Stupid. But it felt good to feel important for once, to not be looked down upon as some stupid kid who's just learning but as a person who knew what he was doing. (He really didn't know what he was doing, but he felt pleasure in knowing that Maxie had so much trust in him for a while and expected him to get his goals done, no questions asked. Of course that, too, fell flat on its head.)

    He found his way to the entrance of the pasture where the wooden fence had split up into a fifteen foot gap. He looked at the laboratory’s metal mailbox that sat on top of one of the fence’s wooden pillars. The flag was down and the door was cracked open at the top – mail was here. Brendan pulled down the opening and inserted his hand, grabbing a hefty bulk of papers. He shuffled through them halfheartedly, looking for anything remotely interesting. Bill, ad, bill, ad, letter, ad, ad ...

    In the midst of his mail reading, Muddy had slowly crept up on his hind legs, orange eyes bright and mischievous. He noticed a puddle made from last night's storm, water brown and gently rippling with the slightest movement from the wind. He pounded his fists together, declared, “RAIN DROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY”–he jumped into the puddle, the water splashing in all directions and hitting Brendan and his pile of letters–“HEAD!”

    Brendan looked at his pokémon dismayed, wiping his soaked fingers on a dry spot on his jeans. He flapped the letters in the air, beads of water flying off of them. “I don’t think you realize how much I hate you, Bemired Muddy Swampert,” he muttered.

    Muddy looked coyly at the ground, drawing circles in the ground with his left foot. Since his blue skin was rubbery, the water dripped off his skin. “My beloved Brendan Robert Birch,” he mocked back. “I never knew you felt so strongly for me. I must reject your advances, though. I can totally do better than you.”

    Brendan wiped the letters against the back of his jeans, smearing the brown water against one of the white envelopes. He turned the envelope around, noticing that it was addressed for him. “You’re lucky,” he said while walking toward the dome-shaped laboratory, Muddy waddling next to him, his heavy, gray tail shaking back and forth. “This letter is for me.”

    “You have friends?” Muddy asked, blinking rapidly a few times. “Friends who are literate?”

    Brendan glared at Muddy who only smiled goofily in return.

    “You know, I can read,” Muddy added proudly, pulling at one of his orange whiskers.

    “Mhm,” said Brendan airily as he pinned the rest of the letters underneath his armpit. He gripped the envelope addressed to him, sliding a finger underneath a corner and pulling up on it.

    “I’m great at reading.” Muddy nodded. “I know so many things because I can read. Reading is P-H-U-N.”

    “While spelling is not.” Brendan ripped open the top of the envelope. “Amuse me. Tell me something you learned through reading.”

    They were closing in on the laboratory; the dirt path was now replaced with a brick one. The two could feel the cold air of the air conditioner seep through the cracks of the laboratory’s glass doors. Brendan stopped as he pulled the letter out, causing Muddy to stop, too. “Did you know that Voldemort was Tom Riddle?” the swampert asked.

    “What is a Voldemort?” Brendan replied, eyes busy.

    “I don’t know. Some sort of snake man? But yeah. That’s what I learned! Also!” Muddy peered forward, looking at Brendan’s letter and trying to piece together the weird, squiggly symbols into something coherent. “I can read this! It says you qualified for Hoenn’s Battle Frontier!”

    Brendan flipped the letter back and forth, confused. “Whoa. You’re right.” He looked up suspiciously. “You can’t read. How did you know that?”

    Muddy grinned. “Okay, so maybe the messenger taillow told me. Sue me.” He pushed his paws in front of him as Brendan stared dully at him.

    Brendan straightened out the paper, gripping it tightly at the edges and creating creases. “'Dear Mr. Brendan Birch,'” he read out loud, eyes rolling left to right. He shook his right leg. “'Congratulations. In recognition of your talents in the various fields of pokémon’”–he brushed off Muddy's snort–“‘you are invited to take part in Hoenn's Battle Frontier’ ...” he trailed off and looked around the paper, staring his pokémon in the face. “The Battle Frontier ... What's a Battle Frontier?”

    “A frontier of battles,” Muddy said firmly.

    “Besides that.”

    “Words.”

    “Besides that.”

    “Words strategically stringed together in a specific arrangement to illustrate an object.”

    “Oh, shut up,” Brendan grumbled as Muddy smiled cheekily at him. He racked his brain, nose crinkling. “Right.” He snapped his fingers. “That one thing that Scott dude was talking about a couple of months ago.” His mind flooded with memories of chasing the shady, chubby, sun glass-wearing man who rode on the back of a milotic, trying to get away from him and Muddy. He was stopped when Muddy threw a rock he pulled out of latios-knows-where at Scott's head, knocking him off his milotic's back.

    Sure enough, Muddy had pulled out a rock from latios-knows-where, letting it rest on the flat of his open palm. “Ron remembers,” he said, petting it with his other paw. “Ron remembers all.”

    Brendan eyed his starter pokémon warily before going back to the letter. “'If you are interested in participating in the Battle Frontier and would like more information, we have set up exhibits in the following cities: Slateport, Fallarbor, Verdanturf, and Lilycove. Each exhibit will provide information about the various battle facilities the Battle Frontier holds while demonstrating a specific battle style each facility may use. The Battle Frontier is located on an island off the coast of Hoenn's main island. The first ship will depart on July second from Slateport's port or Lilycove's docks.' July second, huh?”

    “Hey,” Muddy commented, balancing Ron on his head, “that's almost your birthday.”

    “That is my birthday.”

    “Poe-tay-toh, poh-tah-toh.”

    Brendan finished reading. “'We hope to see you there. Sincerely, Scott and the Frontier Brain Trust.' Interesting.”

    “Scott and the Frontier Brain Trust sounds like a final boss,” remarked Muddy.

    “Yeah, a huge brain that can teleport with eyes that extend out and tendrils at the bottom that can entrap you.”

    “They also call that Andross, and he's copyrighted.” Muddy winked toward the open space as Brendan rolled his eyes.

    Brendan folded the paper back into thirds and started to walk into the clean, white laboratory, Muddy walking beside him. The automatic glass doors slid open, and the cold air blowing from the vents enveloped them. “So what do you think?” he asked, scuffing his shoes against the tile floor. “Think I should go? The opening is in two weeks.”

    Muddy wasn't looking at Brendan, his eyes focused on the oak bookshelves filled with heavy books pushed up against the laboratory's east wall. He turned his attention up and watched the ceiling fans spin. Brendan poked him in the arm, and he swatted at it in return. “I heard you,” he said, bright eyes snapping back toward his trainer, “and I don't know.”

    “Don't you miss battling?”

    Muddy looked down at his feet, staring at his blurry reflection in the tile. “I don't know,” he repeated. “I'm busy with the chilluns. Aren't you busy with your application?”

    Brendan puckered his lips, lightly biting the inside of his cheek. “Well,” he began, “all I have to do is write my dissertation, request and pick up some recommendations”–he held up two fingers and wiggled them in the air–“and reorganize my 'dex information and input it into the home database.” He dropped his hand and grinned. “Shouldn't take me that long – and hey! Maybe I'll have time to visit one of the exhibitions. Slateport is only a few hours away by train. Maybe I can request someone to write me a recommendation in that area. I'll use that as an excuse. Two birds, one stone.”

    Muddy could see the excitement in Brendan's face. “I don't know,” he said for the third time, pulling his tail to the side and rubbing his paws against the red and black bandana tied around it. “Assuming you can finish all that in two weeks, what if you get accepted for an apprenticeship? You think you can work that and battle at this frontier of battles? I mean, you only had one sole task during our journey, which was getting badges and qualifying for the league, and look where that got you.”

    “Balls deep in a situation that may or may not have destroyed Hoenn's ecosystem, which may or may not have eventually ruined the world,” Brendan answered airily, swatting his hand back and forth like a composer. “What is this, being logical all of a sudden?”

    “Moments, man, moments.” Muddy grinned as Brendan slid the letter back into the envelope. “Besides that, aren't you sent to a specific area to study under a specific researcher? What if you're in an area that is far away from wherever this frontier of battle takes place?”

    “That's the point of the dissertation; it works as a personal statement so the panel, if they so choose to pick you, can recommend a reasonable place for you to do your study under a researcher who is commended in the field you are interested in. But in the end, the apprentice has the last say in where he or she wants to study – and really, Muddy. This is freaky. Stop thinking so practically.”

    “Just sayin'. I thought the whole reason why you didn't go on May's cruise thing was because you wanted to stay here and get on your dad's good side again.”

    “That's a vacation. This–”

    “Has nothing to do with your apprenticeship,” the swampert interrupted. Brendan pulled the letters away from his armpit and tugged anxiously at the bottom of his shirt. “Look, I know I'm not the best voice of reason–”

    “Seriously, it's freaking me out. Please stop.”

    “–but you keep whining to me about gaining your dad's trust again. 'Muddy'”–the swampert turned the corners of his mouth and raised the pitch of his voice–“'my daddy hates me. Muddy, nobody yikes me. Muddy, my diaper is full and I don't know what to do.'” He grinned back when Brendan glared at him. “Isn't that all fabricated anyway? Your dad's 'rage,' not the diaper. You never really talked to him about it since you're too chicken.”

    “I just ... know, Muddy. How would you feel if your kids–”

    “Kips,” Muddy corrected happily.

    “–fine, kips joined an eco-group on a whim without doing any research about them in the first place? It's so ... so anti-researcher. Oh, by the way, this eco-group is Team Magma. Oh, by the way, your son almost got himself and his friends killed by joining them. Oh, by the way, your son almost winded up in jail. Oh, by the way, the reason why your son flubbed up so badly in the league was because he couldn't take the rumors circulating about him being an ex-Magma member.”

    “Oh, little Tycoon wouldn't do that.” Muddy chuckled to himself. “Tycoon is a rascal and he's been getting in trouble, but he wouldn't do that. Maybe almost get his friends killed, but that's, like, a rite of passage in swampert culture. Sally might, though ...” He cocked his head to the side in thought. “Also, they're pokémon.”

    Brendan blinked rapidly a few times as he slid the letter into his pocket. “Regardless,” he said, “I just can't bring myself to talk about it with him. I already know he's disappointed in me. But that's beside the point. What were we talking about?”

    “Me saying that you shouldn't go to the frontier of battles because you said to me earlier that you should stay here because you think your dad is disappointed in you.” Muddy inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.

    “It could be beneficial. I'll talk to him about it.” At this, Brendan lightly hit the top of his pokémon's head with the stack of letters. “You go back to doing whatever you were doing earlier.”

    Muddy frowned. “I can't,” he lamented. “Flare took my wand, and now I'm one of you stupid muggles.”

    “Once again, I have no idea what you're talking about, but that kind of makes me glad.” Brendan shrugged his pokémon off and began to head toward the door bordered by stacks of cardboard boxes at the back of the laboratory. He stopped when he was in front of it, reading the gold-plated plaque nailed to the door. “Robert Birch, Ph.D” was what he read before he wrapped his hand around the metal doorknob and pushed down on it. The door opened with a loud groan.

    Good old Robert Birch, commonly known as Professor Birch to everyone else and Dad to him, was sitting on the edge of his desk, legs crossed at the ankle and right leg on top, revealing the bottom of the professor's sandal (Brendan could see black bubblegum stuck to it). A manila folder was propped open in his left hand, and he was flipping through the thin sheets of paper before stopping on one, eyebrows furrowed. He looked up idly and gave Brendan a small grin.

    “Hey, kid,” he greeted. “Since you're there, think you can pull out the file on the castform's molecular structure? It's in the cabinet to your right, second drawer from the top.”

    Brendan nodded while kicking the door closed with the back of his foot. He walked over to the steel filing cabinet, pinned the stack of letters under his armpit again, and pulled the second drawer open. He flipped through the thick folders before finding the one his dad requested, pulling it out. With three giant steps, Brendan crossed the small office and dropped the heavy manila folder with a thud, throwing the rest of the letters next to it. The action awoke a small, gray, squishy thing sleeping next to Professor Birch's thigh. Blue eyes looked at the boy tiredly before widening themselves. He squeaked happily and flew upward, nuzzling the top of his head against the bottom of Brendan's chin.

    “Hey, Thermo,” the boy greeted just as enthusiastically, gently petting the castform. “Didn't know you were here. Sorry I awoke you.”

    Thermo squeaked three times in return, giving his trainer's chin a final nudge with his head before flying over to Professor Birch's shoulder and resting on top of it. He peered into the file the professor was looking at, curious.

    “Reading about castform, huh?” Brendan laced his hands behind his back and shifted his weight between the balls and heels of his feet.

    “Fascinating creatures, castform,” Professor Birch replied. “Hope you don't mind Thermo hanging out with me so much.” He reached up and rubbed the top of the castform's head with two fingers, and Thermo squeaked back, relaxing against the man's neck.

    “'Course not.”

    Professor Birch put down the folder he had at hand and picked up the one Brendan had placed next to him. “Well, thanks for getting the file.” He looked down at his side again. “Oh, and for getting the mail, too.”

    “'Course.” Brendan added a nod this time.

    His dad smiled to himself and opened the folder, eyes scanning the first page quickly before moving onto the second one. Brendan didn't leave – move, really, besides his rocking – and looked at the clock that hung from the wall above more filing cabinets, watching the seconds tick by. Fifteen minutes past two. May, Wally, and Chris were probably waiting at the bus station now. His eyes wandered down the white walls, across the tile, and up his dad's mahogany desk. He observed how cluttered the desk was, how papers were disorganized and haphazardly thrown about the table (the more you research, the less picky you are about how neat the external details are). There were empty mugs of coffee, pencils, some broken, and fancy pens. Picture frames: pictures of the Birch family, and one of his dad, Professor Elm, and Professor Oak (Rowan was the one taking this particular picture) with their arms around each other, the flimsy sheets protected by thin glass. Behind the desk was a black leather chair and two bookshelves also containing heavy, hardbound books, some written by his dad himself.

    When Professor Birch realized his son hadn't left, he began to ask questions. “Did you feed the babies?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Water the oran trees?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Mow the grass?”

    “Later.” At this, Brendan wiped nervously at the back of his neck.

    “Work on your apprenticeship application?”

    “About thaaaaat ...”

    This caught Professor Birch's attention. He looked up, eyebrow raised. “You have been working on your dissertation, right?”

    Brendan brought his hands to the front and wrung them. “I'm still settling down on the thesis–”

    “Come on, Brendan–”

    “–but once I do work out the kinks, I should be okay. You know how starting is always the hardest part of the journey.” Brendan paused. “And speaking of journey ...”

    Professor Birch sighed and placed the folder back down on the table. He scooped Thermo into his left hand and held him, letting the creature ooze between his fingers. Despite the sigh, his eyes flashed amusement; Brendan took this as a good sign. “What about 'journey'?”

    Brendan reached into his pocket and shakily pulled out the folded envelope. He waved it in the air. “I got invited to participate in the Battle Frontier.”

    “You don’t say.” His father smiled. He readjusted the folds of his white lab coat with his free hand, careful to not disturb the castform that was slowly being lulled to sleep by the hum of the air conditioner. “I didn’t know Scott and Noland were opening that place up so soon. They’ve been working on it for years now.”

    Brendan didn’t bother asking who Noland was or how his father knew who Scott was (though he probably should have figured – his dad pretty much knew everyone important in the Hoenn region). “It opens in two weeks,” he said, trying to straighten out his shaky voice. “I think I’m gonna go.”

    Professor Birch looked at Brendan through tired, brown eyes. “I don’t know, Brendan. You still haven’t finished your application, and you know that’s due at the end of–”

    “I know it’s due at the end of the month,” Brendan interrupted, annoyed, nostrils flaring. “And I swear I’ll get it done before then. I still need to go out of town and collect letters of recommendation.”

    His dad pulled out his cell phone from the pocket of his shorts and flipped it open, checking to see if he missed calls. “From who?”

    Brendan racked his brain quickly without trying to look panic-stricken. “Captain Stern,” he said slowly, whimsically, eyes rolling up and to the right, “in Slateport.”

    Brendan knew nothing about Captain Stern other than he watched him freak the freak out when he realized his submarine was being stolen by Team Aqua, but it was the first name that popped up in his head when he thought of people in Slateport. In retrospect, he should have said Mr. Briney (or was it Captain Briney now? He recently came out of retirement to become lead developer of the S.S. Tidal that started running a month ago) because he knew Briney better than Stern.

    Sure enough, his dad called him out on it. “When did you meet Stern?”

    “Did I say Stern?” Brendan’s voice was growing higher in pitch. He pulled at his shirt collar and cleared his throat. “I meant Briney. Mister – er, Captain Briney. He shipped May and I to Dewford and Slateport a couple of times. We helped rescue his wingull from Team”–he visibly flinched and tried to change the course of conversation back to his original point–“I mean we helped rescue his wingull, Peeko.”

    He could tell his dad loved how awkward Brendan was right now as he grinned again and put his phone back in his pocket. He picked up the castform file from the table and put down the sleeping castform in his hand. Wiping his wet hand across his dark-blue undershirt, he asked, “Who else?”

    This one clicked automatically, remembering another city the Battle Frontier was hosting exhibitions. “Professor Cozmo in Fallarbor.”

    “Crazy Carl the meteorite man,” his father mused. “You met him?”

    Brendan nodded eagerly. “I helped get his meteorite back when Team”–effin’ hell, another Team Magma or Aqua connection?–“when he lost it. Yeah.”

    “Impressive.” Brendan felt his insides surge with pride at his father’s comment. “Anyone else?”

    “Norman.”

    “Might as well milk your girlfriend’s dad for all he’s worth.” Professor Birch winked before opening the file again.

    “Kind-of-sort-of-not-really-girlfriend’s dad,” he corrected.

    “Uh ... huh.” Professor Birch licked his fingers and turned a page. “Sounds like a solid list. You better ask them today before it gets too late.”

    “I’ll call them this afternoon.” He had to slide this next point in very carefully. “And since I’m going to be in Fallarbor and Slateport, I think I’ll go ahead and visit the Battle Frontier’s open exhibitions just to see what they’re about.” Brendan quickly turned around toward the door and opened it. “Okay, thanks for everything, Dad! See you in a week!”

    Nice one, Brendan. He celebrated in his head.

    “Not so fast, son.” Professor Birch emphasized the last part, stepping forward, reaching out, and grabbing Brendan by the back of his shirt. The boy tried to wiggle out of his dad's grasp, outstretching his arms toward the open door, but it was no use; his father's grip was firm. So he slouched, his face in a scowl, his arms crossed. “You've only been home for two and a half weeks, Brendan. Give your pokémon a chance to relax. Give yourself a chance to relax. Don’t just rush back into the battling world.”

    “But Daaaaad,” whined Brendan, pulling his shirt out of Professor's Birch's grasp and turning to face him. “I’ve been so bored! And if I’m going to–”

    “If you were so bored then why didn't you go on that cruise with May and your other friends? Or finish your dissertation – and you better write that soon as well,” argued Professor Birch, crossing his arms. Sighing, he walked over to his desk and leaned against it again, picking up the folder again. “The Battle Frontier isn't going anywhere, Brendan, and neither are its exhibitions. I don't want you dashing off to some unknown area with no idea what's up there.”

    Brendan frowned. “But isn't that the point of being a trainer? To explore unknown areas? To adventure? And really, Dad, it'll give me a chance to see new pokémon. The Battle Frontier isn't limited to Hoenn trainers; there are trainers all over the world going there. It’ll be great for research! Imagine it.” Stars were in his eyes as he raised a fist in the air. “A venusaur from Kanto! A sentret from Johto! A yanma from Sinnoh!”

    “Yanma are more native to Johto actually.”

    “Bah! Whatever!”

    Professor Birch sighed. “You have prior commitments. I don’t want you to get distracted.”

    “I won’t, I promise. My main goal will be to pick up those letters, and on the train I’ll work on my dissertation. It’s perfect because I won’t be distracted there, and the train takes hours! Since I’m going to be so far away, can’t I hang around town for a day or two just to sight see? It’s been a while since I have last been in Fallarbor, and besides the exhibit, Slateport Market is having its bi-annual taffy sale now. I know you want taffy.”

    Professor Birch looked up dreamily. “I do enjoy taffy ...” He shook his head. “Fine. You can go and stop by the exhibitions, but I’ll be checking up on you and your progress on your application. You only have two weeks left.”

    “I won’t let you down. I’ll get it done. I’ll call Norman, Cozmo and Stern–”

    “Briney,” his father corrected, cupping chin with an open palm and rubbing his left temple with his fingers.

    “–Briney right now. I’ll start hammering out my dissertation after.”

    “No, you first call Briney, Cozmo, and Norman and politely”–his father made sure to put stress on this word–“ask if they will write you a letter of recommendation. After that, you mow the lawn, help Muddy feed the babies dinner, THEN work on your dissertation.”

    “Dammit.” Still, Brendan couldn’t hide his grin. He slipped the letter back into his pocket and patted it twice as he left his dad’s office and back into the open space. The sun was shining through the windows, and he raised his arms in the air and spun around like he was in a corny movie. This was his chance at a new start, a chance to not only make his dad proud but himself proud, too. For once, he thought as he exited the lab and stood outside, admiring the way the long grass waved back and forth like the tide, he felt like he was on the right path, and he was determined not to fail this time. It was going to be a lot of work, sure, but Brendan could handle it ... right?

    Right.


    A/N: I'm gonna try a PM list, so just holler here or in VM if you want to be added. Thanks!

    Originally Posted: 09.08.11
    Last Revised: 09.08.11 for grammatical errors
    Last edited by Breezy; 20th September 2011 at 10:46 PM.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Hoenn
    Posts
    785

    Thumbs up

    Nice chapter breezy! I'm glad that Muddy's back! Did I miss something? Muddy has kids...er...kips?
    pulled out a rock from latios-knows-where
    hooray for hammer-space! I reference it in my fic too!

    I liked your numerous references, as well as answering the question about Brendan and his dad. Also, I must agree with professor birch. Taffy is delicious!

    Can't wait for the next chapter! keep up the good work!

    -TA
    My fan-fic(Credit to Gelatino95 at Crazy Dragon Graphics for the userbar) Author's profile
    And here's an awesome RPG. It has dinosaurs!And a sprite comic, because I can't draw!

    Please click my dragon(s)!

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    the world of sarcasm
    Posts
    705

    Default

    I would like to be a part of the PM list. I'm enjoying this series so far and am curious how Brendan will do in the Battle Frontier.
    Top Five Non-Legends<---You can't stop them from domination...

    Friend Codes:
    SoulSilver: 2407-8763-0856
    Platinum: 4726-3826-6538
    Pearl: 1890-7956-1544
        Spoiler:- Battle Info:

    NeoDarkraiTV <--This is my YouTube account. Click and watch my Twilight Princess Runthrough and FireRed Runthrough.
    Currently working on making a competitve battling guide. Help would be appreciated.

    Follow me on twitter.com/NeoDarkrai or facebook.com/NeoDarkraiTV for random stuff and updates on when new Episodes are up.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    St. Louis, Missouri.
    Posts
    260

    Default

    I'll be quoting things I liked while trying to find the errors. And here - we - go:

    Silence. Overbearing silence. Empty, hollow silence, echoing itself vainly whenever it calls down narrow halls with tile flooring. Silence that likes to take up the space in between the noises of everyday life, a constant reminder that we aren’t alone but, at the same time, very alone. A paradox, silence. Lots of big words, silence. Lots of unnecessary tangents to fill up time and space, silence. Language. More words. Paragraphs. Silence.
    I'm surprised at how silently the fourth wall cracked. I thought it would go out with a bang.

    Maybe because this time there were no distractions, no way for him to put off this apprenticeship application. He had to get his **** done, and that made him sad in a way, something twisting painfully inside and – god, why was he upset over this?
    Isn't "God" supposed to be capitalized, especially when the name is used by Brendan in that context? Or is it a different god than what I'm thinking of?

    Brendan heard footsteps, louder, faster, and a wild flail of arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him into an awkward backwards hug. He recognized her scent, sweet but not overbearingly so. He recognized her touch, skin lightly touched by the sun
    There's supposed to be a full stop (period) after the bolded word.

    Like before, he gently swayed them back and forth like they were dancing – dancing to silence, the loud, annoying, screechy silence that tends to repeat itself at awkward moments to once again fill space.
    Ladies and gentlemen, the fourth wall has left the building - silently, of course.

    (He could imagine Wally’s eyes rolling and Chris’s snickering at the public display of affection.)
    The sentence would make a lot more sense if the bolded part was cut out (unless you're talking about Chris' eyes, and I don't know if eyes have the ability to snicker. Laugh, maybe, but not snicker).

    She took the last piece of food on a two-day hike, and the punishment for not sharing is a smelly boy with greasy hair because sharing is caring and not sharing is overbearing … in smell.
    Ew! That reminded of the newest White Castle commercial. Thanks a lot, Brendan...

    Brendan looked at his pokémon dismayed, wiping his soaked fingers on a dry spot on his jeans. He flapped the letters in the air, beads of water flying off of them. “I don’t think you realize how much I hate you, Bemired Muddy Swampert,” he muttered.

    Muddy looked coyly at the ground, drawing circles in the ground with his left foot. Since his blue skin was rubbery, the water dripped off his skin. “My beloved Brendan Robert Birch,” he mocked back. “I never knew you felt so strongly for me. I must reject your advances, though. I can totally do better than you.”
    For some inexplicable reason, I just got a mental picture of Muddy wearing a wedding dress...

    They were closing in on the laboratory; the dirt path was now replaced with a brick one. The two could feel the cold air of the air conditioner seep through the cracks of the laboratory’s glass doors. Brendan stopped as he pulled the letter out, causing Muddy to stop, too. “Did you know that Voldemort was Tom Riddle?” the swampert asked.

    “What is a Voldemort?” Brendan replied, eyes busy.

    “I don’t know. Some sort of snake man? But yeah. That’s what I learned! Also!” Muddy peered forward, looking at Brendan’s letter and trying to piece together the weird, squiggly symbols into something coherent. “I can read this! It says you qualified for Hoenn’s Battle Frontier!”
    Ah, but my dear Muddy, I happen to be so much more than a man. I, who have gone further along the path of immortality than anybo-

    -zapped-

    “I just ... know, Muddy. How would you feel if your kids–”

    “Kips,” Muddy corrected happily.

    “–fine, kips joined an eco-group on a whim without doing any research about them in the first place? It's so ... so anti-researcher. Oh, by the way, this eco-group is Team Magma. Oh, by the way, your son almost got himself and his friends killed by joining them. Oh, by the way, your son almost winded up in jail. Oh, by the way, the reason why your son flubbed up so badly in the league was because he couldn't take the rumors circulating about him being an ex-Magma member.”

    “Oh, little Tycoon wouldn't do that.” Muddy chuckled to himself. “Tycoon is a rascal and he's been getting in trouble, but he wouldn't do that. Maybe almost get his friends killed, but that's, like, a rite of passage in swampert culture. Sally might, though ...” He cocked his head to the side in thought. “Also, they're pokémon.”
    Ohmygosh, Muddy had kips?! I wonder who the lucky lady was...

    By the way, Tycoon and Sally sound really scary. Maybe it's the whole "swampert-rite-of-passage" thing.

    Muddy frowned. “I can't,” he lamented. “Flare took my wand, and now I'm one of you stupid muggles.”
    You're silly, Muddy. Once you have magic, you don't just lose it because you lose your wand. If that were the case, Harry, Ron, and Hermione would have lost their magic at least five times. ;P

    When I looked at the conversation that Brendan and Professor Birch had (as well as the enlightening conversation with Muddy), I'm starting to think that your analysis was right; Brendan overreacted a lot. That, or I'm completely misjudging Professor Birch.

    So, all in all, this chapter was a good one. It helped explain a lot of the first chapter without going into too much detail, and it set the stage for the plot to really kick in. You got me - hook, line, and sinker.

    Sincerely,

    Mem.
    CURRENT STORY

    A Time for Everything - Kalos has lived peacefully for far too long, following the ideals of the corrupt. It's time to change that... An AU of X/Y.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    3,038

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by treeko's awesomeness View Post
    Nice chapter breezy! I'm glad that Muddy's back! Did I miss something? Muddy has kids...er...kips? hooray for hammer-space! I reference it in my fic too!
    Thanks! I missed Muddy too. =) As for the "kips" question, that'll be answered soon enough, that I'm glad you caught it.

    I liked your numerous references, as well as answering the question about Brendan and his dad. Also, I must agree with professor birch. Taffy is delicious!

    Can't wait for the next chapter! keep up the good work!

    -TA
    Oh, definitely more to reveal about Brendan's current relationship with ... well, everyone, though this chapter was a good insight to see how Brendan and his interact after all the issues at the end of HLBMA. It was told more from Brendan's perspective, so the "truth" might be a little skewed. He is a drama queen after all. =P

    And yes. Taffy is delicious.

    Thanks for reviewing!

    Quote Originally Posted by neo darkrai View Post
    I would like to be a part of the PM list. I'm enjoying this series so far and am curious how Brendan will do in the Battle Frontier.
    Added and glad you're enjoying the series. Thanks for reading!


    Edit: Gah, Silent. Totally ninja'd me. =P

    I'll be quoting things I liked while trying to find the errors. And here - we - go:

    I'm surprised at how silently the fourth wall cracked. I thought it would go out with a bang.
    I like to mix it up. =P Some will be BAM IN YOUR FACE; others will be more subtle. I say this one is in between. It's also a fun poke at people who do write insane paragraphs on supposedly meaningful things that tend to be repetitive.

    Isn't "God" supposed to be capitalized, especially when the name is used by Brendan in that context? Or is it a different god than what I'm thinking of?
    Yeah, should be capitalized. Thanks for the catch.

    There's supposed to be a full stop (period) after the bolded word.
    Thanks for the catch. I missed it when I deleted a previous clause at the last minute.

    Ladies and gentlemen, the fourth wall has left the building - silently, of course.
    Yep. =P

    (He could imagine Wally’s eyes rolling and Chris’s snickering at the public display of affection.)
    The sentence would make a lot more sense if the bolded part was cut out (unless you're talking about Chris' eyes, and I don't know if eyes have the ability to snicker. Laugh, maybe, but not snicker).
    Yeah, makes more sense with the bold part. Thanks.

    Ew! That reminded of the newest White Castle commercial. Thanks a lot, Brendan...
    Don't have White Castle here so wouldn't know. =P Though yes, he is a dirty, dirty boy.

    For some inexplicable reason, I just got a mental picture of Muddy wearing a wedding dress...
    You know, it's very possible that he would randomly wear one for no reason. I can see him wearing one ... Ideas are being created. D:

    Ah, but my dear Muddy, I happen to be so much more than a man. I, who have gone further along the path of immortality than anybo-

    -zapped-
    That death in the movie was so gross. He turned into dust, and all I could imagine was everyone breathing him in. D: Ick.

    /offtopic.

    Ohmygosh, Muddy had kips?! I wonder who the lucky lady was...

    By the way, Tycoon and Sally sound really scary. Maybe it's the whole "swampert-rite-of-passage" thing.
    That will be touched upon later for sure as a plot point and for humor. Muddy having "kips" is connected to Brendan's development and the whole growing up idea. Plus him as a father is kind of cute. I mean, I always liked him when he was taking care of Cinders. Plus he hasn't really lost his goofy self; if anything, it gives him more development.

    Ramble. But I really do like the idea. I was excited to write about it.

    Any spawn of Muddy's would terrify me. They'd all be insane.

    You're silly, Muddy. Once you have magic, you don't just lose it because you lose your wand. If that were the case, Harry, Ron, and Hermione would have lost their magic at least five times. ;P
    Give him a break; he can barely read as it is. XP

    When I looked at the conversation that Brendan and Professor Birch had (as well as the enlightening conversation with Muddy), I'm starting to think that your analysis was right; Brendan overreacted a lot. That, or I'm completely misjudging Professor Birch.

    So, all in all, this chapter was a good one. It helped explain a lot of the first chapter without going into too much detail, and it set the stage for the plot to really kick in. You got me - hook, line, and sinker.

    Sincerely,

    Mem.
    Brendan is a really dense drama queeeeeen. I wouldn't trust Brendan to tell me how people feel; I mean, it took all of sixty chapters for him to realize that May likes him, no? =P I would say Professor Birch, at least in this story, is caring and understanding, albeit a little loopy.

    I'm glad you like the pacing; I didn't want to dive straight away into the main heart of the story considering that a few people here haven't read the prequel. At the same time, I'm glad you're satisfied with the amount of information given. Things will start to piece together eventually. Hopefully.

    May, Wally, Chris and yet another plot point are introduced in the next chapter, so hopefully you'll like it. Glad you're enjoying the story so far, and thanks for reviewing. =)
    Last edited by Breezy; 10th August 2011 at 8:21 AM.

  19. #19

    Default

        Spoiler:- Le quote spoiler:


    Anyway, this was a nice chapter. Nothing too exciting (I didn’t notice until after I was finished reading, but all they really did was talk, I suppose. You made it entertaining, though, so all good there ^^ ) but it’s a good setup and there were some really funny bits.

    I’m still just sitting here wondering how this is going to be a “Brendan and May adventure” when they’re both running off in different directions. XD It’s frustrating trying to figure it out, for sure, but it’s also interesting to think about. It’s making me anxious, though. .___.

    I could also use a quick explanation. So, he’s going to Slateport to use one of the exhibits? Or is he going to the port to go to the actual Battle Frontier island? If it’s the latter, how is going to get the other recommendations (and is he actually going to attempt to get letters from the names he mentioned?)? I got a little confused in that area. Maybe I just missed something.

    I don’t know how much development he had in the prequel, but I like Professor Birch’s character (although I don’t understand why Brendan would think he’s mad based on the way his dad acts). It seems like a more experienced Brendan, I suppose, with a kind of silliness but also a calm seriousness that his son doesn’t have. But I haven’t seen much of either of them yet, so that could be completely off the mark. :/

    Well, I suppose that’s it for the review. :) I’d also like to be added to the PM list, if that’s alright.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    3,038

    Default

    Thanks for the grammar catches, IC. The bandana thing is a weird error. I wrote chapter one a few months ago, so back then I guess I wrote it as "bandanna." o.O

    I like the half-hearted philosophical tangents Brendan goes on sometimes, especially he starts to get deep and then just sort of peters out because of boredom. XP Also this:

    was just excellent.
    That's part Lull narrative experimentation. The narrative there was really stream-of-thought, and I really liked it, so I decided to try it here. Brendan is the perfect guinea pig person to do these sort of tangents with. He's fun because what he's thinking of really makes no sense at times and just awkwardly ends. =3

    Haha, did he name a rock “Ron?” I loved that for some reason, especially if it was another random Harry Potter reference.
    Yeah. There was a crack/sidetrack chapter in HLBMA (and actually one of my favorite chapters in that story) where Muddy thinks he's Harry Potter because he has a scar on his tail and he felt it randomly burning. He then proceeds to think that other various pokemon are from the books. The Ron as a Rock thing pretty much stuck since then. (Ironically, there is a mightyena character named "Sirius" but he had nothing to do with that plot point in that chapter.)

    Anyway, this was a nice chapter. Nothing too exciting (I didn’t notice until after I was finished reading, but all they really did was talk, I suppose. You made it entertaining, though, so all good there ^^ ) but it’s a good setup and there were some really funny bits.
    Yeah. We're still in the setup stage/reintroducing characters/catching up on character relationships, so it is a bit slow. Hopefully the next chapter will be a bit more action-packed. But hey, at least it is amusing to read. =P

    I’m still just sitting here wondering how this is going to be a “Brendan and May adventure” when they’re both running off in different directions. XD It’s frustrating trying to figure it out, for sure, but it’s also interesting to think about. It’s making me anxious, though. .___.
    Aw, sorry, don't worry too much about it. Cruises don't last forever after all. ;P They will eventually get back together as well as get to the destination in the title, but I still got to slowly build my way up to that point. Which I guess brings me to your next comment ...

    I could also use a quick explanation. So, he’s going to Slateport to use one of the exhibits? Or is he going to the port to go to the actual Battle Frontier island? If it’s the latter, how is going to get the other recommendations (and is he actually going to attempt to get letters from the names he mentioned?)? I got a little confused in that area. Maybe I just missed something.
    Brendan is going to Slateport to pick up a letter of recommendation from Stern-- er, Briney; however, he's also going to check out the battle tent in that location. Same goes for Professor Cosmos; Brendan only picked him because he knew there was a battle exhibition in Fallarbor where Cosmos is stationed. The Battle Frontier opens in two week's from this chapter's date. I'll look over that section and see if I can clear it up.

    I don’t know how much development he had in the prequel, but I like Professor Birch’s character (although I don’t understand why Brendan would think he’s mad based on the way his dad acts). It seems like a more experienced Brendan, I suppose, with a kind of silliness but also a calm seriousness that his son doesn’t have. But I haven’t seen much of either of them yet, so that could be completely off the mark. :/

    Well, I suppose that’s it for the review. I’d also like to be added to the PM list, if that’s alright.
    Professor Birch was a bit of a minor character in the prequel, though you pretty much nailed him on the head. He's a little goofy, intelligent, adventurous, and caring though he knows when to get serious. This might be where the prequels winners might have an advantage, but I'll try to sum up the situation so I can sum up Professor Birch's interaction with his son.

    In HLBMA, which is an expansion/twist of the Ru/Sa/Em plotline, Brendan was "conned" into joining Team Magma (his randomly philosophical paragraph in chapter two touched upon it a bit) with the promises of power and a vision that would benefit pokemon (Maxie was careful with his wording of course). Chris, a Team Magma admin back then, was paired up with Brendan to "mentor" him, though Chris revealed to Brendan what was actually going on with Team Magma. Brendan wanted out, blah, blah, blah, blah, pokemon on his team dies because of it, blah, blah, blah, he eventually gets out when the whole legendary idea backfires on both teams but not without people finding out who he is (Birch's son) and what he was doing (a member on Team Magma) and more blah blah which leads to Brendan leaving mid-battle and having his ranking in the league taken away. Birch finds out and comes to his rescue, which of course freaks Brendan out (he tried to keep it under wraps, especially from his father) and makes Brendan believe that he has a lot to make up for. The basis behind Brendan thinking Professor Birch is so upset with him is because he feels he has let him down.

    I guess it's the whole "You never want to disappoint your parents" idea. Brendan is blowing things out of proportion as he tends to do (you may not know that now, but you'll see it later on for sure =P). That said, there is some reluctance on Birch's part for him to leave the nest right away. Their relationship still needs some more developing.

    Anywayyyyy, feel free to ask anymore questions pertaining to the prequel if it'll help with this story. You might also want to read the character bios (linked in the first post under "links of interests") just to see how the main cast has developed throughout the journey. Thanks for reviewing! I will add you to that PM list. ;P

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    the world of sarcasm
    Posts
    705

    Default

    Out of curiousity, are we gonna see Shawn or anymore of Brendan's Snap addiction? Shawn was a very memorable character imo and I would like to see more of him. As for the Snap thing, I was playing it recently and remembered Brendan's addiction.
    Top Five Non-Legends<---You can't stop them from domination...

    Friend Codes:
    SoulSilver: 2407-8763-0856
    Platinum: 4726-3826-6538
    Pearl: 1890-7956-1544
        Spoiler:- Battle Info:

    NeoDarkraiTV <--This is my YouTube account. Click and watch my Twilight Princess Runthrough and FireRed Runthrough.
    Currently working on making a competitve battling guide. Help would be appreciated.

    Follow me on twitter.com/NeoDarkrai or facebook.com/NeoDarkraiTV for random stuff and updates on when new Episodes are up.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    3,038

    Default

    I don't really have anything planned for Shawn yet, though it's possible; he's one of my favorite minor character's too. He's like smart and stupid, like Muddy, but in an entirely different way. The Pokemon Snap idea was a one time thing, though it might be brought up every now and then as a joke.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    I am moving up in the world!
    Posts
    4,379

    Default

    OI!!!

    I'll keep this brief as it's like 1:00 in the morning here. In the past two weeks, I FINALLY got around to doing something I've been meaning to do for a long time: I read HLBMA. In full. That was the week I almost starved. Anyway, I absolutely love the first book and this one so far, and I'd like to be put on the PM list. I'll give you a full-out review of the first fic later, when I'm not half-asleep at my laptop.

    MuDdY iS aWeSoMe!1!1! (And so are Brendan, May, Chris, Wally, Flare, Sirius, Tai, T.B, Silver, and all the others, but nobody cares about them.)
    Dimensions of Darkness - on hiatus l Sgt. Froakie - ongoing l Envoy - upcoming

    harmoNy - one-shot l The Piplup and Chimchar Variety Hour - on hiatus
    Author's Profile

    Latest Chapter (Sgt. Froakie): Chapter 2 - Beware the Cute Ones
    Credit to Astral Shadow for the awesome sig!

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Gateon area, Orre
    Posts
    499

    Default

    *Posting to subscribe to thread*

    Sounds like fun. May (game) is blending very well with May (anime). Brendan I don't think I've ever met, and I blew Wally off. Who's Chris? Is he an OC or from a Canon?

    (Yes, I know, I should read the Prequel, but he's the only part oif this story that can't stand-alone like everyone else)

    Also, I like that you're using legendaries for expletives.

    Review to come follwong next chapter.

    Oh, I did catch one thing:

    CH1:
    fence's posts
    you don't need the possessive there, unless the fence is planning on talking to me. In which case, I ain't stickin' around to answer it back...

    I know there was more, but I can't find them
        Spoiler:- Breeding stuff:

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    3,038

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GalladeRocks View Post
    OI!!!

    I'll keep this brief as it's like 1:00 in the morning here. In the past two weeks, I FINALLY got around to doing something I've been meaning to do for a long time: I read HLBMA. In full. That was the week I almost starved. Anyway, I absolutely love the first book and this one so far, and I'd like to be put on the PM list. I'll give you a full-out review of the first fic later, when I'm not half-asleep at my laptop.

    MuDdY iS aWeSoMe!1!1! (And so are Brendan, May, Chris, Wally, Flare, Sirius, Tai, T.B, Silver, and all the others, but nobody cares about them.)
    Oi! Hope you have recovered from reading HLBMA in its entirety. =P I'm glad you enjoyed it and this story as well. Will add you to the PM list asap, and I'll be looking forward to your review.

    And he is. And they don't. Haha.

    Quote Originally Posted by Glover View Post
    *Posting to subscribe to thread*

    Sounds like fun. May (game) is blending very well with May (anime). Brendan I don't think I've ever met, and I blew Wally off. Who's Chris? Is he an OC or from a Canon?
    The story is game-canon, though there probably is some unintentional inspiration from anime!May, though more of the "still learning May who traveled with Ash" than the more experienced May in the Sinnoh arc. Brendan is other player protagonist in Ru/Sa/Em (the boy character) who, game canon wise, is the son of Professor Birch if you don't choose him as your player. Wally is, unfortunately, a bit forgotten, though I suppose that fits his persona. Chris is the only OT. Their history/backgrounds can be found in the character bios link in the first post.

    CH1: you don't need the possessive there, unless the fence is planning on talking to me. In which case, I ain't stickin' around to answer it back...

    I know there was more, but I can't find them
    Thanks for the catch. And it wouldn't surprise me. A lot of my errors unfortunately (or fortunately?) blend into the work that it takes me a while to spot them all.

    Thanks for reviewing!

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •