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Thread: Team Draco's Adventures (rated PG-13 for some violence, romance, and mild language)

  1. #1
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    Default Team Draco's Adventures (rated PG-13 for some violence, romance, and mild language)

    A little PMD fic that I dreamed up. Rated PG-13.
        Spoiler:- PM list::

    Team Draco’s Adventures

    Chapter 1: In a Bind

    The Serpent’s Lair was an incredibly difficult Mystery Dungeon. There were rocky cliffs that lead to sharp stalagmites, lava pits, and seas of murky water. However, the most dangerous part was the serpents themselves. Being strangled by a regal, green-and-white snake known as Serperior is not a fun experience.

    I guess I should introduce myself. My name is William. My appearance is that of the small dragon Bagon, however, I am actually a human. Two Pokémon found me abandoned on a beach. A red lizard with a flame on his tail whose name is Flare and a small, blue sea horse named Bubbles.

    I also figure I should tell you how I got into this dilemma, too. You see, Flare, Bubbles, and I are an exploration team called Team Draco. An exploration team is a group of Pokémon that set out to mysterious places called Mystery Dungeons. One day, we got an SOS report from a lost Pokémon named Dratini. To help the blue snake, we set out to the Serpent’s Lair. I can’t write anymore. Serperior is constricting tighter……..

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Bill, no!” I have met a similar fate, but was being constricted by the iron snake Steelix. The little I can do to save Bill is to shoot a tiny blast of water at his adversary. The plan works. The Water Gun strikes Serperior right in the face, causing him to loosen his grip. “Now’s your chance! Slip out and alert Flare!”

    “All right, Bubbles!” Bill blasted the snake with a small burst of flame. I kind of wonder why he didn’t do this in the first place, but whatever. “Bill! Now! Alert Flare! It’s the only-aackkackk……..” I was being choked by Steelix.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The signal should come at any moment now. I had managed to slink into a side room, somehow. The plan was simple. When we were constricted by the snakes, I would Dig into the ground and pop out onto a lower floor of the Dungeon. I then put our store of Blast Seeds, volatile seeds that can explode, into the walls of the next floor with more Digs.

    Flare! Now blast!” That was Bill’s signal coming from the walkie-talkie. I shot some flames at one of the Blast Seeds. The explosion caused a chain reaction, releasing Steelix’s grip and causing us to fall to the bottom. However, there was one thing we overlooked.

    Although Steelix and Serperior were unconscious, we took a severe beating, too. There was not an Oran Berry in sight to rejuvenate us, either. We would have used the Berries in our bag, but the explosion launched a lot of slime in there, rendering our items unusable.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    So, here we are. At the bottom of a limestone pit, bloody and battered. Oh, and I see somone coming. Will it help us? No, wait, it looks to be another serpent. Crap.

    Indeed, it is another serpent. It’s dark purple with yellow markings all over its body and a red, sword-like tail, and it looks like it wants to eat us. We’re screwed.

    “Welcome, my ssssssssslavesssssssssssss. You three will become incredibly ussssssssseful,” the snake hisses.

    “Wait, useful?” I ask.

    “Yesssssssssssss,” the snake says. “I am Ssssssseviper. Pleasssssssse, my dearssssssss, make yourssssselvesssss at home. I am ssssssure you will be here quite a long while.”

    “No, we won’t, Seviper,” I say. “We have to rescue Dratini, and you can do nothing to stop us.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    He seems bold, but he’s actually quite afraid. I have to help him somehow. “Smokescreen!” I launch smoke at the purple snake, clouding her vision. At least, that’s what I hoped would happen. It seems that the explosion launched a rock into my mouth, which prevented the smoke from coming out. Of course, it builds up inside me. For the second time this journey, I’m choking…………..

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Bubbles! No!” I rush over to her, then I end up toppling over. The explosion apparently wounded my leg. There’s no way I can get to her to destroy that rock. My flame’s feeling faint. We’ll be easy prey for Seviper……….

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Drat. Why do we always have to get wounded here? Flare’s unconscious, Bubbles is about to die, and I’m being constricted by this snake. I shoot some flames at Flare’s tail, seeing if I can ignite it, but to no avail. Well, I might as well Ember Seviper.

    “Ssssssstupid little Bagon,” she hisses, “did you really think that would work? Flamethrower!” She launches a large jet of flame at me, easily overpowering the Ember. I’m slipping out of consciousness……………
    Last edited by The Imposter; 13th August 2011 at 10:57 PM.
    http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=35776

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  2. #2
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    Interesting. Hopefully Bill, Flare & Bubbles get out safely. They are Bagon, Charmander & Horsea respectively, right? I wonder if there will be other snake-like Pokémon here, although, Steelix is a snake? Maybe an Arbok will appear here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Torpoleon View Post
    Interesting. Hopefully Bill, Flare & Bubbles get out safely. They are Bagon, Charmander & Horsea respectively, right? I wonder if there will be other snake-like Pokémon here, although, Steelix is a snake? Maybe an Arbok will appear here.
    You're right. Of course, it's kinda hard to make it clear which character's POV it is. I always considered Steelix a snake, since it is the Iron Snake Pokemon. And Team Draco might get out.

    Also, I'm planning on a PM list, if you want to be on it, just ask.
    http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=35776

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    True with Steelix. It does make sense for them to get out because Team Draco is in the fanfic title and this is only one adventure.

    Yeah, I'd like to be on the PM List.

    Ruby: LeafGreen (Nuzlocke):
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    Wii FC: 8945-6722-1722-6586 | Nintendo Network ID: Master_Zach
    3DS FC: 1289-8257-7574 | Xbox Gamertag: WaTeRChAmP97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Torpoleon View Post
    True with Steelix. It does make sense for them to get out because Team Draco is in the fanfic title and this is only one adventure.

    Yeah, I'd like to be on the PM List.
    Well, you got me there. I'll add you. The next chapter should be up tomorrow, at best.
    http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=35776

    i'm pretty sure i just found the most hilarious pogeymanz are satan discussion ever

  6. #6
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    Well, this is the first PMD fic I've read (well I've read another . . .)

    Failed explanation is failed. What I mean is this is the first "dungeon chapter" of a PMD fic I've read, and I like how you've portrayed it. Getting right into the action is cool, and you get brownie points from me for using first person POV.

    So into more detail about first person . . . the way you're switching perspectives reminds me of playing PMD, when you're all seperated and it keeps changing focus when each Pokemon attacks. That's quite cool what you've done. If you're always gonna do a circuit (Bill, Bubbles, Flare, Bill . . .), then there shouldn't actually be a problem with who's narrating so long as readers become familar with the circuit. (Just sayin' IMO so many ~ are over-kill for switching POV . . .). The way you're changing perspectives could be interesting if they get separated in a dungeon . . .

    As far as grammar goes, I see no glaring mistakes. There might be an error or two I've missed, but otherwise it's problem-free.

    Yup, I like this fic. Put me on the PM list please. Oh, and if you're wondering why I haven't reviewed through truths and ideals, I got lazy I'll get onto it soon though
    ┓┏ 凵 =╱⊿┌┬┐

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    Quote Originally Posted by kjt View Post
    Well, this is the first PMD fic I've read (well I've read another . . .)

    Failed explanation is failed. What I mean is this is the first "dungeon chapter" of a PMD fic I've read, and I like how you've portrayed it. Getting right into the action is cool, and you get brownie points from me for using first person POV.

    So into more detail about first person . . . the way you're switching perspectives reminds me of playing PMD, when you're all seperated and it keeps changing focus when each Pokemon attacks. That's quite cool what you've done. If you're always gonna do a circuit (Bill, Bubbles, Flare, Bill . . .), then there shouldn't actually be a problem with who's narrating so long as readers become familar with the circuit. (Just sayin' IMO so many ~ are over-kill for switching POV . . .). The way you're changing perspectives could be interesting if they get separated in a dungeon . . .

    As far as grammar goes, I see no glaring mistakes. There might be an error or two I've missed, but otherwise it's problem-free.

    Yup, I like this fic. Put me on the PM list please. Oh, and if you're wondering why I haven't reviewed through truths and ideals, I got lazy I'll get onto it soon though
    Thanks! (hoards brownie points) I've read several PMD fics before, but I never saw a POV one before.

    Yes, there will be a circuit, although, once I've developed the characters more, I may deviate from it. Thanks also for the sentiment of them getting separated in a dungeon.

    I'll add you to the list, and maybe you could coedit at least one of my works? If you can't that's fine though.
    http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=35776

    i'm pretty sure i just found the most hilarious pogeymanz are satan discussion ever

  8. #8
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    Post Chapter Up!

    A bit of a wait, but w/e.

    Chapter 2: Blood Bonds

    Grr. . . Acckk. . . She’s constricting tighter. I can’t even Ember because she’s so tight. I try to Headbutt her, but to no avail. She just moved her head out of the way.

    I feel that I will die here. My life is flashing through my eyes. I remember my sixth birthday, when I got the train set I cherished so. I remember the day I took a walk in the park and befriended a Pidgey. Heck, I even remember my first cuss word. I will not die in this hellhole. I have to escape.

    Tch. She’s squeezing tighter. With every squeeze she’s squeezing motivation out of me. I can’t do this. But I have to do this. I’m about to die. Goodbye.

    Wait. I’m feeling newfound strength come to me. I can do this. “DOUBLE-EDGE!” I blast out of Seviper’s grasp, slamming into her chin and knocking her into a wall.

    Oh, yeah. But I have to save Bubbles. I rush over to her and examine how bad she’s choking. She looks pale. I have to dislodge this rock. I heave and heave, but it’s lodged in there too tightly.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Shoot. This rock is too stuck. I feel someone trying to pull it out, but I can’t see who. Is it Flare? Or Bill? Right now, I don’t really care, seeing as my rescuer gave up. Poopy. Well, I have to remove it myself.

    Here goes nothing. I launch a Water Gun at the granite, but it’s too sturdy. I need something stronger. Otherwise, I will die.

    Water Gun! Water Gun! Water Gun! It’s not working. I’m gonna die here. It’s inevitable. Let me try one more time. Water Gun! Apparently, the fifth time’s the charm. The rock was finally dislodged, and who else would it hit but Seviper.

    “Bah. It ssssssseemsssssssss that enssslavement isssss not good enough for you. Perhapssssss I ssshould devour you?” Seviper slithers torward me and Bill. “Earthquake.” She slams the point of her tail into the ground. Cracks start to emerge from the spot where the tail was placed, which quickly fill with lava. The cracks then begin to snake torward us.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Darn it. I’m slowly regaining consciousness, but the pain in my leg still remains. “Rest,” I say.

    Whew. That was a good sleep, and most importantly, it removed the pain. Wait, what is that lava doing down here? Bubbles is safe, and Bill escaped from Seviper, so that’s good. I wonder what the state of our items is?

    Well, it looks like the sludge has dissipated. Are there any Sleep Seeds in here? Oh, there they are. I pull out a blueish seed. Well, now I can delay Seviper.

    I throw the Sleep Seed at Seviper. She dodges it with ease, but she overlooked one little thing. When the seed hits the ground, it splits in two. Then blue spores emerge from inside it. These spores hit Seviper, causing it to fall asleep. “Bill! Now’s your chance!”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Bill! Now’s your chance!” I hear. Looking around, I notice that Seviper has fallen asleep. I rush up to her and Headbutt her against the wall. Then Bubbles sprays her with water, and finally, Flare blasts her with Ember.

    She’s coming to. Wait, Flare’s charging a Metal Claw. What’s he going to do?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Ooh. That felt good. Wait, why’s Flare charging up his Metal Claw? Oh, well. I might as well get a rope and tie Seviper up. I’m doing just so.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Thanks, Bubbles,” I say. I’m charging up my Metal Claw to kill her. But, I may not have to do that. I have an idea…..

    “Seviper, I have a request for you.” I see her threatening to Flamethrower me. “Look. If you do so much as lay a tooth on me, I will send this Metal Claw straight through your evil little heart. Tell me, now. Where is Dratini?”

    “I’ll never tell you!” she says. “Flamethrower!” As she charges up the flames, I slightly puncture her scaly, purple skin with my claw. “Alright, I’ll talk. Dratini issssss with the other ssssslavessssss, behind that wall.” She turns her head torward a crack in the black cave wall.

    “Wait, other SLAVES?!” I exclaim. “I’ve got it. If you stop enslaving Pokemon, then I’ll let you live. If you keep on enslaving, I will kill you.”

    “One quesssssssstion,” she hisses. “How will you know?”

    “It doesn’t matter,” I answer. “We’ll use a blood bond.” I use my other claw to cut my own left leg. I collect the blood from the wound with my hand, while still holding Seviper at Metal Claw range.

    “ A blood bond?!” she exclaims. “Asssss in, if I break the promise, I die?”

    “Yes,” I answer. Then I slam the bloodied hand onto her stomach. Unown runes begin circling around her, then they disappear into her skin.

    “Wow!” Bill and Bubbles exclaim in unison.

    “Yes, wow. Now let’s go find Dratini,” I say matter-of-factly.
    Last edited by The Imposter; 15th August 2011 at 6:10 PM.
    http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=35776

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  9. #9
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    If this is apart of Chapter 1, it would have to be in the same post (unless if the chapter has more characters than the post length), or just called Chapter 2. In the beginning, you misspelled out as outt, by the way.

    Cool how Bill learns Double Edge and it looks like the three finally defeated Seviper. I liked how you used "s" multiple times for Seviper as well.

    Ruby: LeafGreen (Nuzlocke):
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    Pearl: Platinum:
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    Wii FC: 8945-6722-1722-6586 | Nintendo Network ID: Master_Zach
    3DS FC: 1289-8257-7574 | Xbox Gamertag: WaTeRChAmP97
    Claimed: Blastoise, Pokémon XY & Calem from Pokémon XY

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    Quote Originally Posted by Torpoleon View Post
    If this is apart of Chapter 1, it would have to be in the same post (unless if the chapter has more characters than the post length), or just called Chapter 2. In the beginning, you misspelled out as outt, by the way.

    Cool how Bill learns Double Edge and it looks like the three finally defeated Seviper. I liked how you used "s" multiple times for Seviper as well.
    Oh, thanks. Removed the extra T. Glad you liked the chapter. Well, Seviper is a snake, and snakes hiss.
    http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=35776

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