Relationships

[STICKTOPIA]

People have different opinions/philosophies on relationships. Some like to take it slow before they do serious or intimate things together. Some like rushing into it right away. I, for one, think that people should wait at least 6 months before they should get real serious. I don't find rushing into things a good idea. Some just meet each other and already want to talking about their future like getting married, having kids, where to move to, etc... I find it really stupid. I believe you need to get to know the person and learn about them before thinking of all that. I believe marriage should happen at least a year after being together. So what are all your opinions about this?

EDIT: I know some proposals after like 3 months of dating may work for some people but the majority end up in divorces. I know some last for like 25+ years so that's not bad either

[Waterlover711]

i wonder why noone post in this topic....it should just be gettin rid of a the rate it has been going....

[Priceless]

I'll be honest, I usually rush into things a lot...it's hard for me to take it slow, tbh.

[Ivanka]

I agree that no one should rush into relationships. Even still, most of the relationships you see with teens and early 20s are normally based on sex. I think in most cases, no one should get married until they've known their other half for a good year or more. Although in some countries, they have a high rate of arranged marriages and a low rate of divorces. Maybe arranged marriages can work?

[ele]

I agree that no one should rush into relationships. Even still, most of the relationships you see with teens and early 20s are normally based on sex. I think in most cases, no one should get married until they've known their other half for a good year or more. Although in some countries, they have a high rate of arranged marriages and a low rate of divorces. Maybe arranged marriages can work?

Well when they are arranged marriges there aren't allowed to get divorced so yeah.

[Mevejuma]

I agree that no one should rush into relationships. Even still, most of the relationships you see with teens and early 20s are normally based on sex. I think in most cases, no one should get married until they've known their other half for a good year or more. Although in some countries, they have a high rate of arranged marriages and a low rate of divorces. Maybe arranged marriages can work?

It may be more out of fear of how the parents would react if they found out you divorced the one you arranged for them, as such things are usually based on money, power and social standing.
Anyway, I think rushing into things and moving really quickly is something you see more in younger couples, particularly teens. I'm only 18, but I tend to think about this sort of thing a lot, and I've seen that's what I've done, so next time things will probably be slower, because I believe things will work better that way. Another "mistake" often seen in younger couples is that you devote a lot of your time to each other, and never leave time to do your own things by yourself or with your friends/family. Making a good relationship comes from experience I believe, doing things wrong and not doing them again - and even then it's different for everyone.

[Ivanka]

It may be more out of fear of how the parents would react if they found out you divorced the one you arranged for them, as such things are usually based on money, power and social standing.

That's true. And it normally happens in the countries where women are still somewhat oppressed. So arranged marriages most likely are not the way to go.

[Mevejuma]

That's true. And it normally happens in the countries where women are still somewhat oppressed. So arranged marriages most likely are not the way to go.

Again, true. I also just thought, I believe that often these arranged marriages occur when the girl is still relatively young, so before she really knows any better, to a man who's quite a bit older. In this manner, the girl would grow up highly respecting the man, seeing as he's older, and not thinking any differently to her situation.

[The Dark Titan]

I go slowly, to be honest. Well, I went slowly before I met the love of my life, at least. Arranged marriage would have killed me, seriously, so I don't think that's the way to go.

I also think government shouldn't say between what age and what age are people in a relationship wrong. Lately, 20 and 17 year olds can't be together, and I believe that's stupid.

My partner is my English teacher. He's 28, and I'm 17, yet we are together ans rspect each other. I'm an emancipated minor, so they can't do anything about it, but why limit love's ages?

[Nakita]

In all of my relationships, I tended to go slowly. Not only that, I also tend to date good friends. I feel that you should be able to be friends with the one you're with and at least have some sort of trust in them before you even decide to get into an actual relationship with them.

[Ang3l]

I go slowly in my relationship =) I agree that people getting married and having kids after only being together for 6 months or so is stupid, it's barely enough time to get to know each other. The thing that makes me the angriest about relationships are those stupid people that have anniversaries EVERY MONTH! Girls who are like "OMG today is our 4 month anniversary, let's celebrate".......SHUT UP! Anniversaries are celebrated after a YEAR, no more and no less.....I hate it so much haha

[Zora]

I have a simple solution: I avoid relationships altogether :]

By, seriously, if I were to have a relationship, I would probably take it slow. More often than not, I would get to acquaint myself with the person with no intention of going out, and we just end up bonding in a special sort of way and decide that we want to take our relationship to the next level. But, eh, I tend not to judge people on their relationship practices, I just focus on my own.

[aggiegwyn]

Well, I've never been in a serious relationship before, so I can't say much, but I can say this.

Whenever I like a guy, I think about for a month before choosing whether to ask him out or to forget about it. I don't want to rush into a relationship that in all reality I don't want to have.

[Aquanova]

Well Ive never been in a romantic relationship. However if I were Id probably procede cautiously and slowly rather than rushing into things.

[Kisothwulf]

Another "mistake" often seen in younger couples is that you devote a lot of your time to each other, and never leave time to do your own things by yourself or with your friends/family.

So true! I even lost a best friend because our give/take aspect was extremely off balance. She'd spend so much time with her boyfriend that she didn't have a need for me anymore. :/

On that note, I find it annoying how teen girls, especially on FB, say or "like" ridiculous things about how a boy should treat their girlfriend. Flowers? Letting them use their sweatshirts? Being understanding all the time? Give up their X-Box?

And what do these girls do for their boyfriends? Huh? Diddly squat, that's what. Give and take should be 50/50 usually.

Anyways, to be a little more on topic with what most people are posting, I find that even 1 year of dating and then marrying is a little bit rushed. But I suppose that it would be rushed for those who are both extremely busy with school, jobs, etc.

[Buchou]

Currently when it comes to relationships, I let someone make the move on me. I kind of asked someone out once, but it was more less because both of us were too shy IMO to do anything. If/When we do get together, I go really slow.

Concerning living with someone or furthering the relationship, you really get to know someone when you live with them. I find it easier to wait a while to live with someone and try it out. Then perhaps consider marriage. Rushing into marriage and having children to me is a big mistake. Both partners need to get a feel for one another outside of, say hanging out or dates. Everyone is different once you live with them.

Arranged marriages make me kind of upset. It does typically occur within other countries in order for some form of financial or social gain between the two parties. The girls can be quite young. However, it happens in America, typically in cultures that have immigrated. My best friend, who is 18, was recently married to her husband in an arranged marriage. Her family was from Ukraine. They are quite happy together. I pity the poor girls in places such as India where it is possible for girls to be married off as young as 8 years old.

It's best just to start out slow, and build the relationship up.

[*IZ*]

It should be slow. I already know a pregnant girl, and shes 14, as well as the father. I believe they've known each other for 6 months. Thats rushing and rushing is bad especially if your younger than 18

[Azran Flame]

^ Wow... That's my friend's sister's age, can't imagine her being pregnant...

So yeah. If you're a teen, you shouldnt take it too fast. It might ruin your whole life - you won't be able to go to school, get a good job, hang out with your friends, etc. (Quote from my mum)

[ChedWick]

Yea rushing things when it comes to relationships is BAAAAAAAAAD /goat. It takes years to really get to know someone. I've been with my g/f 6.5 years.

A guy I went to high school with just got married to a 16 year old who just had a kid that isn't his. I forgot the age of the kid but but I do remember I figured that with pregnancy being 9 months my high school acquaintance would have either only been dating the girl at most 11 months or she got knocked up by someone else while dating him or they dated on and off which could put her at 14 while starting to date him. Either way that whole marriage likely destined to fail.

Sure he may be matured enough (doesn't seem bright enough) and set in his ways but shes a 16 year old girl who is going to go through many more phases and personality changes. Being in highschool, a new mother and a new wife to someone who works long hours at the railroad and possibly will be away for extended periods (think hes a conductor) just doesn't seem too good of a situation to me. I wish them the best but I'm realistic.

BTW I'm 23 and his birthday if I recall is a little before mine which makes him turning 24 rather soon. So a 16 year old and a 24 year old, how that didn't turn into a court case from the get-go I'll never know.

[Kotone]

Girls are such heart-breakers, always ignoring the nice guys.