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Thread: The Official Advice Thread

  1. #3251
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gladys View Post
    It's over, man. A big interview like that is not the time to get into an argument about gay marriage. Also, you shouldn't have told them that your parents were unlikely to want to host an exchange student. It really is best to just play with the truth during these sorts of things.
    LOL, the argument was prior to the interview. :P They asked me, "how would your parents feel about hosting an exchange student?" What are you saying I should have done, lied? It was unlikely, my parents were offered to host exchange students for a school year in the past, but they strongly declined. You're totally contradicting yourself here. Thankfully, I ignored your advice and I sent the e-mail, anyways. :-) I'm waiting for a reply now.

  2. #3252
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    What are you saying I should have done, lied?
    Researched. You fumbling on the question meant more then your answer.

    You did not research adequately before the interview. To miss something that critical sends a strong message to the interviewer. It tells them that you're not nearly as interested in this program as you're trying to come off as. Since you are not interested enough in the program to do your own research and have an answer ready for them right then and there they found no reason to waste their time on you.

    You seem to be sorely lacking in Soft Skills. I noticed you did a few other things wrong, too, and your mannerisms directly after the interview weren't the best. Yes, it's customary to send an e-mail after the interview. You usually thank the interviewer for their time and hit on some key points as to why you're the best candidate.

    Sending an e-mail after the decision's been made suggesting that they've made the mistake, however, makes you come off as a sore loser.

  3. #3253
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    Quote Originally Posted by EpicBacon View Post
    *back story*
    I'm the top student in my French class (got 104% last term)
    Please explain this one to me, because I assume you didn't typo 10%/14% and I'm thus curious....

    Quote Originally Posted by EpicBacon View Post
    Rest of post
    It seems like you've missed out on this occasion, but don't be disheartened and don't underestimate the number of opportunities there are for going abroad. Once you get to college you may have chances again, and why not work part-time to save up the money? I have a Dutch mother and English father, and spent my younger life ferrying between the two countries and nowhere else. But now that I'm on a salary I go abroad every 3 months at my whim. Just keep an eye out for opportunities, such as exchange programmes, internships, volunteer options (see: worldwide web) etc. and I'm sure you'll get to fulfil your wish!

  4. #3254
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    Please explain this one to me, because I assume you didn't typo 10%/14% and I'm thus curious....
    Likely not a typo. In certain schools in the US its possible to get higher then 100% because of how their grading system works.

    You can also get higher then 4.0 if you take AP or Honors Classes. The highest it went in my High School was 4.30 since there was a cap on how many AP Classes you could take.

    They wanted you to work hard but they didn't want you to go insane.

  5. #3255
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    the 4.0+ gpa is called weighted gpa, and unweighted gpa distributes points to ap/ib courses the same as regular courses. and afaik most u.s. colleges dont give a shit (in any meaningful way) about weighted gpa anyway

  6. #3256
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    Quote Originally Posted by EpicBacon View Post
    A whole bunch of stuff.
    For one thing, were any faculty involved in the interview/decision-making process? From what you are saying, it sounds like other students were interviewing you, but at the same time, I really doubt that they would select someone to go on an all-expenses paid study abroad trip without the input of people who are likely not going to have biases.

    Having said that, if the decision has already been finalized, I really don't think there is that much you can do at this point. Whether or not the interviewers' biases had anything to do with the selection, I feel like those two reasons might have been things that affected eligibility and you might not have noticed. Whenever schools have programs where they select students to travel overseas as part of an expenses paid trip, they usually judge you based on factors other than interviews/essays (GPA, involvement in extracurricular activities, etc.). What they say is that your eligibility is judged based on how you do in whatever they have you do (usually an interview and/or essay) in addition to some other criteria that would help your chances.

    I also have to agree that your initial uncertainty about whether your parents would be able to host a foreign exchange student might have brought you down. I feel like this was information that was freely available and that you could've gotten an answer to before the interview. If you do happen to find yourself looking at opportunities like this again, try looking out for these conditions because there is a good chance that it could be brought up at some point during the interview process.

    I know that you're upset because you're not going to get to go, but believe me, I've been through something that's almost exactly like that. Every year, my school selects two students to go to Japan for two weeks during the summer. I applied my freshman year and sophomore year, the only two years I would be eligible (I applied the second time because I obviously didn't get it the first time). The second time in particular, I felt like I had had it; I felt like I did great in the interview and in the essay I had to write explaining why I wanted to go. But in the end, I wasn't selected, and for a while, I was a bit upset over not being able to go, but I eventually got over it since being bitter about not winning wasn't going to change the outcome.

    In short, I'm really not sure what else to tell you; on one hand, if biases were being held during the selection process, or the decision was made based on irrelevant factors, it should be brought to a faculty member involved in choosing the student who gets to go (probably a faculty sponsor to the club), but on the other hand, if it turns out that the selection was based completely around involvement in whatever club was holding it as well as a definite response over your parents housing an exchange student, then I'm afraid that there isn't that much you can do.

    ~~

    EDIT: I just realized that this question was a few days old. I suppose if it's irrelevant at this point, I should ask for my own advice. Oddly enough, it also has to do with studying abroad.

    I want to study abroad in the upcoming fall, but the main factor that's affecting whether I can get to go is money. The good news is that the two schools that I am the most interested in attending cost less to attend than my home university (excluding transportation and other fees, like deposits and application fees), and the study abroad agency that this is being held through offers some scholarships as well as resources to other scholarships. The bad news is that my parents want me to also find a job or an internship over the summer, which would probably help me anyway since I need money to pay for plane tickets, to spend while I am there, and to potentially travel to other parts of Europe should the opportunity arise.

    My plan was to apply to every internship possible, which I imagine would be heavily influenced by letters of recommendation (I am worried about asking for many of them to be written within a short amount of time; I also need some as part of the study abroad application). While I am looking for internships/jobs, I was planning on finishing my study abroad stuff and applying for every scholarship possible. Is there anything else I should do that would help in either pursuit, or would applying to things as fast as I can get letters of recommendation written for them be a good strategy?
    Last edited by Krake; 13th January 2013 at 7:48 AM.
    THE
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  7. #3257
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    So u do all that... Financial Aid if they have it...


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  8. #3258
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    Wow, surprised that this actually response! Well, this little chapter of my life is now over, but I'll suppose I'll reply to you to satisfy your curiosity.

    @An00bis It was a school program that started this year. Unfortunately, it's not exactly feasible to research that sort of thing. Also, I can assure you that I was very respectful during the interview. Perhaps the anonymity of the Internet makes perceived as rude, but I promise you, that message was not there. It was full of respect.

    Well, I understood the fear of being perceived as a sore loser, but, I truly feel an injustice was made. They made a decision that went against me based upon criteria that was beyond my control. I, personally, believed this to not be fair.

    @pirate555 Both of you are right, technically. :-) I "earned" that score because I got 100% on all of the tests and homework, and did extra credit officially. I earned that score, but the gradebook just marker it as 100%. Yeah, it's technically impossible to go beyond that. So sad. Thanks for your positivity on my dream, it truly means a lot. :-)

    @Krake Nope, no faculty whatsoever was involved. Just students.

    So, yeah, in the end, I didn't get the trip. C'est la vie. Life is really unfair sometimes. OH WELL!

  9. #3259
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    Quote Originally Posted by EpicBacon View Post
    @Krake Nope, no faculty whatsoever was involved. Just students.

    So, yeah, in the end, I didn't get the trip. C'est la vie. Life is really unfair sometimes. OH WELL!
    So what you are saying is that students completely decide who gets to go on this all expenses paid trip when they can clearly show bias towards certain students over anything, among other things?

    I guess at this point, it doesn't matter, especially with the whole homestay issue.
    THE
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  10. #3260
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krake View Post
    So what you are saying is that students completely decide who gets to go on this all expenses paid trip when they can clearly show bias towards certain students over anything, among other things?
    Unfortunately, yes.

    The idea of the club is, in theory, to make students take leadership positions. I suppose it's a good idea in theory, but it comes with unfair consequences and irresponsibilities such as this.

    HOWEVER, I suppose, to the students' defense, they do a lot of fundraising and the money technically theirs; they can decide to use it however they want, no matter how unreasonable I believe it to b.e

  11. #3261
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    Do you guys stay pretty organized in your personal lives as well? My ADHD wreaks havoc on mine.
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  12. #3262
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    Quote Originally Posted by EpicBacon View Post
    Unfortunately, yes.

    The idea of the club is, in theory, to make students take leadership positions. I suppose it's a good idea in theory, but it comes with unfair consequences and irresponsibilities such as this.

    HOWEVER, I suppose, to the students' defense, they do a lot of fundraising and the money technically theirs; they can decide to use it however they want, no matter how unreasonable I believe it to b.e
    It honestly just sounds like you're jealous and upset that you didn't get picked. If the girl they chose was more active in the club for a longer period of time, why wouldn't they choose her? If I was a club leader and we spent all this time and effort fundraising, I'd want to reward someone who is a long-standing member who has actually contributed to the club. You also already stated that your parents wouldn't host an exchange student. That's kind of a big deal when it comes to exchange programs. It sounds like the trip is supposed to be a learning experience, not a free vacation.

    If you want go to Europe, earn it. Be an active member of the club and discuss it with your parents so that maybe you can have a chance to go next year. Or you can always get a job when you have the resources to do so and earn the money yourself. Besides, you're only 17. It's not like you need to go to Europe right now. I don't think their decision to not choose you was unfair at all. The girl was more qualified to be selected so she got offered the opportunity.

  13. #3263
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    Quote Originally Posted by EpicBacon View Post
    and I've really been deprived of a cultural experience.
    In absence of my trip to the foreign world, I've really taken the time to study European culture and language.
    You could not exoticize people. There is always that option.
    Beware children and heed Uncle Lutz, lest these devious feminists obliterate you:

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    There are a few feminists out there with such a extreme view in terms of wiping out men that it matches the Nazi's movement of seeing a lower class and or being utterly genocidal.

  14. #3264
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thomas Elliot View Post
    Do you guys stay pretty organized in your personal lives as well? My ADHD wreaks havoc on mine.
    I do a ton. To be perfectly honest, recently I have gotten to the point where I suspect I may have an mild underlying case of OCD.

  15. #3265
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    It honestly just sounds like you're jealous and upset that you didn't get picked. If the girl they chose was more active in the club for a longer period of time, why wouldn't they choose her?
    You're right, I was severely disappointed that I didn't win the trip. Based off of the criteria they gave me, I would have no had no chance whatsoever to win the trip, no matter what I did. They basically dragged me when I never even had a chance to begin with.

    Not to mention, half of their reasoning was beyond my control and they admitted to me that they completely IGNORED the interview while making the decision. They used reasoning to select someone else beyond my control and that is anything but fair, nor does it equal the girl being, in any sense, more qualified for a trip.

    I can assure you, if they told me that the girl won because she was more articulate during the interview, I would not rebuke the decision at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by bel9 View Post
    You could not exoticize people. There is always that option.
    Clearly, I must not know what you mean when you say "exoticize". In my mind, I think of "exoticing" people as making others somehow be part of nature. Please, elaborate on what you mean and the context of your post didn't make any sense, people. No individual other than myself was mentioned.
    Last edited by EpicBacon; 18th January 2013 at 3:35 AM.

  16. #3266
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    Quote Originally Posted by EpicBacon View Post
    You're right, I was severely disappointed that I didn't win the trip. Based off of the criteria they gave me, I would have no had no chance whatsoever to win the trip, no matter what I did. They basically dragged me when I never even had a chance to begin with.

    Not to mention, half of their reasoning was beyond my control and they admitted to me that they completely IGNORED the interview while making the decision. They used reasoning to select someone else beyond my control and that is anything but fair, nor does it equal the girl being, in any sense, more qualified for a trip.
    I'm going to ignore the fact that most of your grammar makes absolutely no sense. Just because certain things were out of your control does not make the decision process unfair at all. They were looking for particular things and you didn't meet the criteria. She was part of the club longer, she presumably was an active participant in that club (meaning she contributed a lot more than you did), and her parents were willing to host an exchange student. There was literally no reason why they should have chosen you over her. She was, in fact, more qualified because she met the qualifications. Your "unfair" argument is akin to saying that someone who just really, really wants a job should get it over someone who has worked their way up from a low position and has contributed a lot to the company over an extended period of time. Not to mention the fact that you dissed this girl in your first post just shows how immaturely you handled the situation. Being an elitist Europophile does not automatically make you more qualified than someone who actually meets the qualifications. Grow up and quit whining about how "unfair" it is because it was most certainly fair.

  17. #3267
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    I'm going to ignore the fact that most of your grammar makes absolutely no sense. Just because certain things were out of your control does not make the decision process unfair at all. They were looking for particular things and you didn't meet the criteria. She was part of the club longer, she presumably was an active participant in that club (meaning she contributed a lot more than you did), and her parents were willing to host an exchange student. There was literally no reason why they should have chosen you over her. She was, in fact, more qualified because she met the qualifications. Your "unfair" argument is akin to saying that someone who just really, really wants a job should get it over someone who has worked their way up from a low position and has contributed a lot to the company over an extended period of time. Not to mention the fact that you dissed this girl in your first post just shows how immaturely you handled the situation. Being an elitist Europophile does not automatically make you more qualified than someone who actually meets the qualifications. Grow up and quit whining about how "unfair" it is because it was most certainly fair.
    I apologize that my grammar doesn't please you, I'm very tired, it's been long day. This isn't a formal essay that I'm writing, this is a post on a Pokemon fan forum.

    I only felt the mood to briefly skim your message, as I'm going to bed soon, and, to be honest, I'm sort of discouraged to read it as it appears to mostly be irrelevant ranting, statements that I made taken out of context in order for you to slant the truth, and, well, in short, rude.

    Obviously, if you think it's fair to chose to give people benefits based off of their parents and not the individual themselves, then, well, I cannot change your mind. My opinion, of course, would be the opposite.

  18. #3268
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    Quote Originally Posted by EpicBacon View Post
    I apologize that my grammar doesn't please you, I'm very tired, it's been long day. This isn't a formal essay that I'm writing, this is a post on a Pokemon fan forum.
    It simply makes your posts difficult to understand.

    I only felt the mood to briefly skim your message, as I'm going to bed soon, and, to be honest, I'm sort of discouraged to read it as it appears to mostly be irrelevant ranting, statements that I made taken out of context in order for you to slant the truth, and, well, in short, rude.
    Perhaps when you actually bother to read it you could point out to me where I took anything you said out of context.

    Obviously, if you think it's fair to chose to give people benefits based off of their parents and not the individual themselves, then, well, I cannot change your mind. My opinion, of course, would be the opposite.
    The funny thing about an exchange program is that your family has to actually be willing to, y'know, host an exchange student. I never said anything about people getting benefits because of their parents and not because of themselves as individuals. You already stated in your first post that she was chosen not only because her parents were willing to host an exchange student, but also because she was also part of the club longer (That is not me taking anything out of context. That is literally what you said in your post). So she as an individual has been part of the club longer and most likely has contributed her time and energy to that club.

  19. #3269
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    So theres a girl at work i like, unfortunately she got a new boyfriend almost exactly when i realized i liked her. Is there anything i can do to try to get kind of...."next in line" for lack of a better term? Doubt it but its worth an ask i suppose.
    White: Liquid(Serperior), Steve(Wargle), Kitsune(Zoroark), Bowser(Carracosta), Benisuzume(Volcarona), Yin(Zekrom)
    FC: 2623 2056 1823-Tatyana

    Black: Solidus(Samurott), Cell(Reuniclus), Tator(Krookidile), Archie(Archeops), Buckshot(Sawsbuck), Yang(Resiram)
    FC: 1420 6686 1330-Mike

    White2: Longpig(Emboar), Lucky(Sh Scolipede), Jimmy(Vanilluxe), Tetsujin(Golurk), Peanut(Jellicent), Rose(Ferrothorn)
    FC: 2237 5012 1360-Kain

  20. #3270
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Kain View Post
    So theres a girl at work i like, unfortunately she got a new boyfriend almost exactly when i realized i liked her. Is there anything i can do to try to get kind of...."next in line" for lack of a better term? Doubt it but its worth an ask i suppose.
    You can't. You should probably just accept the fact that you missed your chance and move on. She's a human being, not a rollercoaster. There is no "next in line."

  21. #3271
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    You can't. You should probably just accept the fact that you missed your chance and move on. She's a human being, not a rollercoaster. There is no "next in line."
    Well yeah i know, like i said i couldnt think of a better way to put it. Theres always a chance it wont last
    White: Liquid(Serperior), Steve(Wargle), Kitsune(Zoroark), Bowser(Carracosta), Benisuzume(Volcarona), Yin(Zekrom)
    FC: 2623 2056 1823-Tatyana

    Black: Solidus(Samurott), Cell(Reuniclus), Tator(Krookidile), Archie(Archeops), Buckshot(Sawsbuck), Yang(Resiram)
    FC: 1420 6686 1330-Mike

    White2: Longpig(Emboar), Lucky(Sh Scolipede), Jimmy(Vanilluxe), Tetsujin(Golurk), Peanut(Jellicent), Rose(Ferrothorn)
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  22. #3272
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Kain View Post
    Well yeah i know, like i said i couldnt think of a better way to put it. Theres always a chance it wont last
    What makes you think she's even going to want to date you if she does happen to break up with this other guy? I would encourage you to not be one of those men who befriends a woman in a relationship with the sole intent of trying to date her if it fails. There is nothing endearing about that.

    Edit: Scratch that. Befriending anyone (regardless of relationship status) with the sole intent of dating that person is not endearing.

  23. #3273
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    What makes you think she's even going to want to date you if she does happen to break up with this other guy? I would encourage you to not be one of those men who befriends a woman in a relationship with the sole intent of trying to date her if it fails. There is nothing endearing about that.
    No, We got along great from the start, i was enjoying her company long before i was interested.
    White: Liquid(Serperior), Steve(Wargle), Kitsune(Zoroark), Bowser(Carracosta), Benisuzume(Volcarona), Yin(Zekrom)
    FC: 2623 2056 1823-Tatyana

    Black: Solidus(Samurott), Cell(Reuniclus), Tator(Krookidile), Archie(Archeops), Buckshot(Sawsbuck), Yang(Resiram)
    FC: 1420 6686 1330-Mike

    White2: Longpig(Emboar), Lucky(Sh Scolipede), Jimmy(Vanilluxe), Tetsujin(Golurk), Peanut(Jellicent), Rose(Ferrothorn)
    FC: 2237 5012 1360-Kain

  24. #3274
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord_Kain View Post
    No, We got along great from the start, i was enjoying her company long before i was interested.
    Then you should continue to enjoy her company without expecting/hoping/anticipating that she'll break up with her new boyfriend so you can date her yourself.

  25. #3275
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    Then you should continue to enjoy her company without expecting/hoping/anticipating that she'll break up with her new boyfriend so you can date her yourself.
    im kinda doing both, lol
    White: Liquid(Serperior), Steve(Wargle), Kitsune(Zoroark), Bowser(Carracosta), Benisuzume(Volcarona), Yin(Zekrom)
    FC: 2623 2056 1823-Tatyana

    Black: Solidus(Samurott), Cell(Reuniclus), Tator(Krookidile), Archie(Archeops), Buckshot(Sawsbuck), Yang(Resiram)
    FC: 1420 6686 1330-Mike

    White2: Longpig(Emboar), Lucky(Sh Scolipede), Jimmy(Vanilluxe), Tetsujin(Golurk), Peanut(Jellicent), Rose(Ferrothorn)
    FC: 2237 5012 1360-Kain

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