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Thread: The Advice Thread - "What should I do about this weird mole growing on my back"

  1. #3301
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    Then why not stop thinking about it and just do it, what are you so afraid, it's either she's you're girlfriend or potential wife or not, hell she probably even wants you to do it and is waiting, has she had a boyfriend in the past year? if thats a no that's a massive indication, you see women don't have the balls and expect men to ask them out.

    Edit: One thing I learned from women, the longer you take to do something the more they expect from you.
    Last edited by ven?; 18th January 2013 at 6:57 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ven? View Post
    Then why not stop thinking about it and just do it, what are you so afraid, it's either she's you're girlfriend or potential wife or not, hell she probably even wants you to do it and is waiting, has she had a boyfriend in the past year? if thats a no that's a massive indication, you see women don't have the balls and expect men to ask them out.

    Edit: One thing I learned from women, the longer you take to do something the more they expect from you.
    Please tell me this post is a joke...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ven? View Post
    Then why not stop thinking about it and just do it, what are you so afraid, it's either she's you're girlfriend or potential wife or not, hell she probably even wants you to do it and is waiting, has she had a boyfriend in the past year? if thats a no that's a massive indication, you see women don't have the balls and expect men to ask them out.

    Edit: One thing I learned from women, the longer you take to do something the more they expect from you.
    What if they are waiting for someone else instead? It's not just her and whoever we're on about. Or maybe she might not feel like going out with anyone.
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    Please tell me this post is a joke...
    Way to be negative for nothing. How do you know how that person feels? I could be right or wrong but at least I said something that could be potentially true. If you disagree then state you're point don't say something stupid without reason.

    What if they are waiting for someone else instead? It's not just her and whoever we're on about. Or maybe she might not feel like going out with anyone.
    That could be true, but people aren't stupid, people know if someones into them or not, regardless of what that person says or not, you just know. Edit: dude he wants to eff her, not have a relationship, and we all know what ends up happening when you do that, it's win or lose.


    edit: If a woman knows that a man wants to eff them, even if it's through osmosis, and they like that man or are attracted to that man they make themselves available to that person, if they don't then they don't make themselves available, that's fact. And I don't know of to many women who ask men out, maybe like 1 in 10,000. So no that's truth.
    Last edited by ven?; 18th January 2013 at 7:28 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ven? View Post
    Way to be negative for nothing. How do you know how that person feels? I could be right or wrong but at least I said something that could be potentially true. If you disagree then state you're point don't say something stupid without reason.



    That could be true, but people aren't stupid, people know if someones into them or not, regardless of what that person says or not, you just know. Edit: dude he wants to eff her, not have a relationship, and we all know what ends up happening when you do that, it's win or lose.


    edit: If a woman knows that a man wants to eff them, even if it's through osmosis, and they like that man or are attracted to that man they make themselves available to that person, if they don't then they don't make themselves available, that's fact. And I don't know of to many women who ask men out, maybe like 1 in 10,000. So no that's truth.
    I'm fairly certain Phlogiston was being sarcastic, bro.

    Also, the idea that men have to make the first move is old-fashioned and simply not true. Men ask women out all the time. And just because a man expresses that he wants to have sex with a woman does not always make her more likely to "make herself available" to him. Women are perfectly capable of being proactive about their wants/needs/desires.

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    I pretty much knew everyone would challenge me.

    <quote>This may come as a shock to you, but there are men out there who are capable of forming platonic relationships with attractive women rather than treating them like walking vaginas. You are not representative of the entire male population and you do your sex a great disservice by perpetuating those stereotypes.</quote>

    I am not saying that they can't form relationships. I am saying when all the ends meet if they are attracted to said person they are expecting to get with said person, or rather would given the chance. They may be able to form a pseudo-friendship and coexist, but I can almost guarantee you the male is disappointed and may even be resenting the girl. Hence the statement "they can't be friends." Just because a girl thinks I am her friend yet I resent her deep down because I can't have her, doesn't mean we are technically friends. Hence the word "facade."

    So your only response to the guys who actually can is that it's a load of bull.
    My jaw would drop if you could find a male who said "I am going to hang out with my friend who I am incredibly attracted too but would never screw given the opportunity because we are just friends!" This doesn't happen, ever.

    Good point. I'm male, and there's a person I've been playing video games with for the past three years, but it's not because we share hobbies -- it's all a ploy to **** her.
    This doesn't fall into the criteria anyways because you never specified that you were attracted to her. If you aren't attracted to her then yes you can be genuine friends. I have plenty of female friends, I just don't like any of them in that way.

    Of course there any many other variables that can alter the ladder theories accuracy. (Pity, jealousy, desperation etc.)
    Last edited by iFi Salamander; 19th January 2013 at 12:15 AM.

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  7. #3307
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    If you form a "pseudo-friendship" with a girl you're attracted to with the expectation of sleeping with her, you're a tool. You're also probably one of those guys who whine incessantly about the "friendzone" if she doesn't want to have sex with you. People like that need to grow the hell up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    If you form a "pseudo-friendship" with a girl you're attracted to with the expectation of sleeping with her, you're a tool. You're also probably one of those guys who whine incessantly about the "friendzone" if she doesn't want to have sex with you. People like that need to grow the hell up.
    So much hypocrisy here. You tell me not to stereotype then you do it yourself.

    Sleeping with her is a hyperbole here, what I mean is be with/date/make love anything etc. To a point where you could consider it a relationship. A pseudo-friendship is more of an advanced acquaintanceship that was built on the foundations and/or omission of the truth. For instance take this scenario:

    Bob likes Sammy. Sammy doesn't know about this. The two spend lots of time together as what one might call friends. Bob eventually tells Sammy his feelings and she rejects them. The two insist that they continue to be friends but gradually grow apart because it becomes to awkward.

    This is my example of a pseudo-friendship. They maintained their relationship until Bob admitted his feelings, thus built on omission of the truth.

    Of course I won't discount the ability to maintain a friendship for some time after this. Though in general Sammy will probably move on to someone she feels more comfortable with as will Bob. The friendship ends.

    From this perspective it is barely as if they were friends at all.

    Though to really see the transparency of the mechanics you need to look beyond what each other deliberately say and take a look at their actions. I can call the guy who uses me for rides to work all the time my friend, but is he really my friend, or only there to use me?

    Now to address your statement: How can this make you a tool? Something about said person has to make you interested to induce conversation. Even if you were to theoretically become friends with them with the intention of sharing a hobby or chatting, eventually if you find them attracted you will fall for them. If at any point you do then the above scenario will play out (With the exception of the rejection part which varies if the other recipient shares the same feelings.)
    Last edited by iFi Salamander; 19th January 2013 at 12:48 AM.

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  9. #3309
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    I can honestly tell you that in any friendship with a woman I ever shared, I maintained the same amount of contact whether I was rejected or they were taken (within the limits of what I could do; that's not to say a woman couldn't distance herself).

    But to those who didn't? Things were still the same.

    You make it sound like it's impossible. Even if it's something you've seen on a regular basis, it's not like it's uncommon for the opposite either.

    And I would consider you a fool if you only befriend someone with high expectations. That's just my opinion though. I don't believe it's the right mindset. In fact, that's the exact thing that causes your supposed scenarios. Disappointment. Grudges. "Awkwardness". It is only awkward if that is what you were looking for. If you weren't JUST looking for a date, it wouldn't make that much of a difference, because you actually appreciate their friendship.

    But sure, keep thinking that guys and girls are incapable of forming close bonds without dating. We can never get enough of "nice guys"

    My jaw would drop if you could find a male who said "I am going to hang out with my friend who I am incredibly attracted too but would never screw given the opportunity because we are just friends!" This doesn't happen, ever.
    Again, your responses are nothing more than stereotypical statements. I am that guy. I know plenty of guys like that. Would you degrade men so much as to think that they can't look at women platonitically? Jesus Christ.

    There are those who exist outside of age groups, interests, geographic location, etc. Like, seriously. I'm going down my friend list. I'm not going "would bang if given the opportunity" on every single one of them that I find even a reasonable amount attractive.
    Last edited by GhostAnime; 19th January 2013 at 3:23 AM.
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    Every one of us will always have a scar that will always hit us back inside. Even if that scar is healed back then, you will always remember the day you got that scar within the consciousness of your soul.

    Sometimes, I remember hating my own people ever since I've been mocked and bullied at high school Six years ago. Even if I have forgiven my own people 3 years ago, the pain will sometimes hit me back in the gut. It serves as a reminder to what are the mistakes that my people and myself did to each other.

    I'm sure that some of us became anti patriotic at one point in the past before forgiving them.
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    I had an interesting reply to iFi Salamander's post in my head earlier but I'm too drunk at the moment to remember everything I wanted to say. I think GhostAnime covered the main points, though.

    I still think that if you enter into a friendship under false pretenses (i.e. want to be friends with someone to have sex with and/or date them), you're a tool.

    *All of my uses of "you" in these scenarios are general, not specific, just so there isn't any confusion.

  12. #3312
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    There are those who exist outside of age groups, interests, geographic location, etc. Like, seriously. I'm going down my friend list. I'm not going "would bang if given the opportunity" on every single one of them that I find even a reasonable amount attractive.
    You need to realize I am basing this on the ladder theory, which is just a satirical joke. I mean it also says all girls only want is money and looks, no exceptions.

    I mean seriously read the website:

    http://laddertheory.com/

    Still I know most guys I know, and I, don't even want to put up with women if it isn't for a relationship unless they are incredibly laid back. Though my personal problem might be the fact I speak my mind 100% of the time therefore inevitably bring any female I meet to hate me, as opposed to guys who don't care.

    But let me ask you this, would you really not bang them is you had the chance? I mean at that point I'd like to debate if you are gay or impotent.

    I still think that if you enter into a friendship under false pretenses (i.e. want to be friends with someone to have sex with and/or date them), you're a tool.
    What other reason is there? The only thing I can think of is if they are actually worth talking to.

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    iFi Salamander's argument is pretty much "I act like a complete dickweasel and no on wants to date me, therefore platonic relationships don't exist. Men who respect women are obviously gay or asexual; no exceptions."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    iFi Salamander's argument is pretty much "I act like a complete dickweasel and no on wants to date me, therefore platonic relationships don't exist. Men who respect women are obviously gay or asexual; no exceptions."
    I tried the whole respect thing, it left me single and hurting. At least now I am single and indifferent.

    I am actually basing most of this more on my friend Stevie, who fawned over the same girl for years and the moment her his feelings they slowly stopped hanging out and now are just bitter to each other and not friends anymore.

    I just can't fathom one good reason why a guy would say no. It is like if there is money on the ground and you need money and you say no. What purpose could that possibly serve besides self fulfilling altruism? It is almost like you want to say "Hey I respect women, therefore I am better than other people" until you realize nobody cares really and it isn't going to make you any less single or have any more of a chance than anyone else of changing that.

    However now that I think about it, it's not like any man would ever admit they started talking to a girl because they were attracted or had a desire to eventually get with them, in the same regards no girl would ever admit that they don't actually want a nice gentlemen, but they want money. It is our societal obligation to dodge around that fact or we look like toolbags.

    "Credulous at best your desire to believe in angels of the hearts of men." Tool
    Last edited by iFi Salamander; 19th January 2013 at 6:47 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by iFi Salamander View Post
    I tried the whole respect thing, it left me single and hurting. At least now I am single and indifferent.

    I am actually basing most of this more on my friend Stevie, who fawned over the same girl for years and the moment her his feelings they slowly stopped hanging out and now are just bitter to each other and not friends anymore.

    I just can't fathom one good reason why a guy would say no. It is like if there is money on the ground and you need money and you say no. What purpose could that possibly serve besides self fulfilling altruism? It is almost like you want to say "Hey I respect women, therefore I am better than other people" until you realize nobody cares really and it isn't going to make you any less single or have any more of a chance than anyone else of changing that.

    However now that I think about it, it's not like any man would ever admit they started talking to a girl because they were attracted or had a desire to eventually get with them, in the same regards no girl would ever admit that they don't actually want a nice gentlemen, but they want money. It is our societal obligation to dodge around that fact or we look like toolbags.

    "Credulous at best your desire to believe in angels of the hearts of men." Tool

    You could have just shortened this by saying you're a bitter human being.

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    So this is my second semester of college and I find that often times I have a 2-3 hour break during the day. Because I commute 20+ minutes each way I cannot go home during this and I am therefore forced to find other forms of entertainment which is why I have decided to either get a PS Vita (found some games that interest me on this system) or a cheap laptop. And when I say cheap I mean under $300. So, any advice on which I should get?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    You could have just shortened this by saying you're a bitter human being.
    I think I am just an autistic human being and project my own lack of capacity for genuine human feelings for another person into my worldly views as an anecdote.

    I truly don't believe anyone cares about anyone else. It seems like the world is apathetic to your problems until you die or get hurt and all of a sudden it is as if you suddenly matter, that in itself is empirical.

    Now don't get me wrong I think we have some compassion in our blood, but I think it is mostly learned and still can't ride past the fact we all subconsciously manipulate and say things in our day to day lives to fit our own desires.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FroTW View Post
    So this is my second semester of college and I find that often times I have a 2-3 hour break during the day. Because I commute 20+ minutes each way I cannot go home during this and I am therefore forced to find other forms of entertainment which is why I have decided to either get a PS Vita (found some games that interest me on this system) or a cheap laptop. And when I say cheap I mean under $300. So, any advice on which I should get?
    i used to have a day at university where my tutorial would run from 10am - 12pm and my lecture was 5pm - 7pm and my commute was 70-90 minutes. i usually took my laptop and just watched movies/tv shows. i'd just go the laptop and if you want games run a n64 emulator or something (or get a few low-intensity steam games like binding of isaac)
    Last edited by moot; 19th January 2013 at 6:59 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by iFi Salamander View Post
    I think I am just an autistic human being and project my own lack of capacity for genuine human feelings for another person into my worldly views as an anecdote.

    I truly don't believe anyone cares about anyone else. It seems like the world is apathetic to your problems until you die or get hurt and all of a sudden it is as if you suddenly matter, that in itself is empirical.

    Now don't get me wrong I think we have some compassion in our blood, but I think it is mostly learned and still can't ride past the fact we all subconsciously manipulate and say things in our day to day lives to fit our own desires.
    Just because you have the emotional understanding of a door knob doesn't mean the rest of us do. You can continue to by a bitter misogynist all you want, but that doesn't make your argument more compelling. If anything, it makes it less believable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    Just because you have the emotional understanding of a door knob doesn't mean the rest of us do. You can continue to by a bitter misogynist all you want, but that doesn't make your argument more compelling. If anything, it makes it less believable.
    I don't hate humanity though, but I know we aren't good natured without brainwashing.

    Think about this: Animals in the wild hunt and kill each other to survive. They are born with instincts and mistrust because that is how their eco-system works. Why would humans be any different? If we weren't taught as children to care about others, and lived in a feral state wouldn't we too be the same?

    The difference is our intelligence has built a sense of conscience. We are above finding it practical to hurt each other, but yet at end of the day we are still omnivores at the top of the food chain.

    This is why I say compassionate isn't innate, it is a trait we learned through intelligent design. However our mammal instincts are innate, so even though we appear altruistic, with complete anarchy we would let our own self interest run wild.

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    Tell me more about your pseudo-psychological theories.

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    I tried the whole respect thing, it left me single and hurting.
    This is the answer to your question.

    Instead of dealing with your hurt past, you want to project your psychological pain on others... like myself.

    Yes, it is I who is impotent or gay. It is not you who is simply jealous and needy of sex.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FroTW View Post
    So this is my second semester of college and I find that often times I have a 2-3 hour break during the day. Because I commute 20+ minutes each way I cannot go home during this and I am therefore forced to find other forms of entertainment which is why I have decided to either get a PS Vita (found some games that interest me on this system) or a cheap laptop. And when I say cheap I mean under $300. So, any advice on which I should get?
    My recommendation would be to try and socialize, but barring that I suggest getting something with good battery life, you don't want to be a slave to the electircal outlets. Also are looking for something to pass the time or do you want a serious game machine ? If it's just for general entertainment, a laptop with good battery life should suffice. If it's for playing new big budget games, go for the Vita, a cheap laptop might now be able to play what you want.

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    Quote Originally Posted by iFi Salamander View Post
    I tried the whole respect thing, it left me single and hurting. At least now I am single and indifferent.
    If you feel hurt by someone else's actions, discuss it. Don't try to deal with it by yourself if that isn't something you are able to do. Because this, pretending to be indifferent to love, isn't dealing with it and it definitely isn't healthy.


    I am actually basing most of this more on my friend Stevie, who fawned over the same girl for years and the moment her his feelings they slowly stopped hanging out and now are just bitter to each other and not friends anymore.
    Oh my, yes, and I'm sure that your bestie Stevie represents the majority of us all. One incident can't be cited as unfaltering evidence.


    I just can't fathom one good reason why a guy would say no. It is like if there is money on the ground and you need money and you say no. What purpose could that possibly serve besides self fulfilling altruism? It is almost like you want to say "Hey I respect women, therefore I am better than other people" until you realize nobody cares really and it isn't going to make you any less single or have any more of a chance than anyone else of changing that.
    I'm not sure I read this last part correctly.
    You believe that having respect for the gender [the first thing most people notice about someone] of the person that you are chasing holds no significance as to whether or not they will accept you as a mate? Gender is a pretty big thing.

    Unless the lady that you desire is bathing in such a pool of self loathing that she doesn't mind your disrespect of her very reproductive and hormonal systems...odds are, she isn't going to take much to you.

    However now that I think about it, it's not like any man would ever admit they started talking to a girl because they were attracted or had a desire to eventually get with them, in the same regards no girl would ever admit that they don't actually want a nice gentlemen, but they want money. It is our societal obligation to dodge around that fact or we look like toolbags.
    It's not a question of whether or not ulterior motives play into first-meetings, it's what comes after that.
    Unless you are really fishing for some commitment, you probably do have your own reason for that initial conversation with someone. You're lonely, you think they're hot stuff, you want to be coddled, you have something to prove.
    But once you've actually spoken with them, what happens next does not have to be based on anything but affection or fascination, not money or desire or revenge.
    If you're interested and they are as well, pursue it. If not, you tried for whatever selfish reason you had and got nothing. It happens.
    That's no reason to say that love is only based off of one thing, whatever you think that reason is.


    "Credulous at best your desire to believe in angels of the hearts of men." Tool
    You just...quoted a song by Tool to support, and as the finisher of, your argument? Don't you think that may make you seem like, pardon me, a tool?
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    Now, for my actual question.
    I've been considering getting a tablet, perhaps a Kindle Fire or an iPad. Any experience and suggestions with tablets? :)

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    Oh my, yes, and I'm sure that your bestie Stevie represents the majority of us all. One incident can't be cited as unfaltering evidence.
    I think I was just desperately trying to support that joke of a satirical theory because of my borderline sexism. Not that it is surprising I don't like women after what I've been through. I pretty much never give them the benefit of the doubt.

    Oh my, yes, and I'm sure that your bestie Stevie represents the majority of us all. One incident can't be cited as unfaltering evidence.
    That was more to stop people from saying it was about me only.

    Unless the lady that you desire is bathing in such a pool of self loathing that she doesn't mind your disrespect of her very reproductive and hormonal systems...odds are, she isn't going to take much to you.
    Well I definitely don't seem to go after highly confident women, that is for sure. Because of my narcissism, I just get threatened by them and by nature rip them apart. I am incredibly territorial.

    It's not a question of whether or not ulterior motives play into first-meetings, it's what comes after that.
    Unless you are really fishing for some commitment, you probably do have your own reason for that initial conversation with someone. You're lonely, you think they're hot stuff, you want to be coddled, you have something to prove.
    But once you've actually spoken with them, what happens next does not have to be based on anything but affection or fascination, not money or desire or revenge.
    If you're interested and they are as well, pursue it. If not, you tried for whatever selfish reason you had and got nothing. It happens.
    That's no reason to say that love is only based off of one thing, whatever you think that reason is.
    I can agree with this, mostly because you seem to under the whole "hook line and sinker" part.

    You just...quoted a song by Tool to support, and as the finisher of, your argument? Don't you think that may make you seem like, pardon me, a tool?
    It is a funny coincidence, but no, that isn't really relevant. I just happen to love progressive rock/metal.

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