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Thread: The Advice Thread - "What should I do about this weird mole growing on my back"

  1. #3351
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cipher_Admin View Post
    I need help. I befriended a girl at the beginning of the semester. She turned out really nice, giving me cookies before I went to my second class one day, and made plans with me on Valentine's Day. Since this Thursday, I was hoping to go meet her family today. However, whenever I texted her once on Friday and once today, me asking her about hanging out, she ignored me. I felt that I was my Asperger's Syndrome that kicked in where I am moving a bit too fast whenever I talked to her. I know that whenever something good happens to me such as doing something with a girl, I tend to tell about it like crazy and that's like a huge problem with me when it comes to being around girls. Would it be a good idea if I waited until Tuesday to talk to her? My dad told me that it will be a good idea if she brought up about what happened Saturday, along with her just being any ordinary girl. I am extremely worried that I might end a friendship by being this way where I am acting a bit too fast and begin to think that I am only good at screwing things up...
    ahve ur asperger removed and i bet shell luv u! hope i helped

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    I'm so confused with life, right now. I'm 12 years old, but don't say I'm too young to be thinking about this. It's not easy to put in to words, so excuse me if it's hard to understand.

    So, I've recently been thinking a lot about the future. Future job, future family, future house, everything. I'm scared to death, because I don't really know where I want to live, what job I want to do, or who I want to live with. I have plenty of time to think about all of this, but it's all I can think about. Every place I can think of living is not a place that I would like to live in and raise children in. Future job isn't as much of a worry, but I want to do something fun, that pays well, that allows me to spend time with my family. I want to be a good father, not an idiotic father like mine. Future partner, I can't stop thinking about this. I dislike almost every human being I've come across, and the chances of me finding someone decent makes me want to cry. I don't know what to do, and I know I have plenty of time to think about this, but I'm not sure if it'll be enough. I'm really scared of the future, right now.
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  3. #3353
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moonrox View Post
    I'm so confused with life, right now. I'm 12 years old, but don't say I'm too young to be thinking about this. It's not easy to put in to words, so excuse me if it's hard to understand.

    So, I've recently been thinking a lot about the future. Future job, future family, future house, everything. I'm scared to death, because I don't really know where I want to live, what job I want to do, or who I want to live with. I have plenty of time to think about all of this, but it's all I can think about. Every place I can think of living is not a place that I would like to live in and raise children in. Future job isn't as much of a worry, but I want to do something fun, that pays well, that allows me to spend time with my family. I want to be a good father, not an idiotic father like mine. Future partner, I can't stop thinking about this. I dislike almost every human being I've come across, and the chances of me finding someone decent makes me want to cry. I don't know what to do, and I know I have plenty of time to think about this, but I'm not sure if it'll be enough. I'm really scared of the future, right now.
    Alright, I'll put this in paragraphs so you can respond easier:

    Well, it's really nice to see you thinking about your future life, but I would definitely suggest to enjoy your time as a child. You have 6 years left as one. You have to cherish that time. That does not mean to not think about your future though. You have plenty of time to think about this. But you need to go through this step-by-step. Start with the beginning/easiest things first.

    I'm saying that it's not healthy to be thinking so far ahead of time, especially in terms of a future partner. Love will find you. You cannot find love. You're trying to get into thinking about something that you're not ready for. This also goes in regards to being a good future father. That's a lot to be thinking about and in this case, it's way too early to be thinking about yourself as a father. You don't even have a partner yet.

    For your future house - What kind of environment do you like? How would your surroundings be in said environment? What kind of house would you want? What is your ideal environment? Look up some different countries/places on the internet that you'd like to visit, perhaps you'd like to live there.

    Future job - What is your ideal job? What amount of money do you think is enough to get paid with? What do you find as 'fun'?

    Just a few more things:

    Considering you're 12 years old, and if you'd like to begin thinking about your future, I'd highly suggest to think about school. Everything that you want to do in school. Like, the classes you want to take and where you want to go to school.

    And finally, I just have one more thing to say - Enjoy the little time you have as kid now, you only have 6 years left. Don't waste it, make the most out of it. After your 6 years are up, you'll be an adult. So cherish your time now as a kid. As some say - These are your Golden years.

    If you have any other questions about this or anything else you'd like advice with, feel free to ask me. I'm more than happy to help~! ^_^

    Quote Originally Posted by Savanny
    This place is deader than my pets I have buried in the backyard...

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    i agree with Gothic-Gothorita here. you are only a kid, stop worrying about adult things, they will most likely sort themselves out before you turn 20 (most people figure out a passion, a field they'd like to work, whether they want to travel, etc.). there's no use trying to plan your future at 12, because your interests and ideas will almost certainly change before you enter adulthood.
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  5. #3355
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    Quote Originally Posted by moot View Post
    i agree with Gothic-Gothorita here. you are only a kid, stop worrying about adult things, they will most likely sort themselves out before you turn 20 (most people figure out a passion, a field they'd like to work, whether they want to travel, etc.). there's no use trying to plan your future at 12, because your interests and ideas will almost certainly change before you enter adulthood.
    This is totally right! *nods in agreement*

    @Moonrox: Also adding on to what moot said, you don't know how your future before your 20's is going to turn out. Once you get into your 20's things start to change and you begin to experience a lot of things. Vastly different than your years as a Child and Teen. Those 'things' can relate to really anything. Most of them, you'd least expect. Also when you turn 20 and after, you begin to meet and speak with a lot of people, like ones that are from different nationalities. And finally, you'll begin to learn WAY more than you've ever known in your 20's.

    If you're going to ask why the "20's", then I'll just tell you right now, that in your 20's you have a lot of opportunity in your life to do something. For Example: In your 20's you may want to go to College to study for a specific subject and travel, or you may want to learn a sport and become a professional player. In your 20's there are many options you can choose from, which is overwhelming for a kid.

    In summary, what moot and I are saying is that these are all adult things, and you're a kid. This is the time to be a kid and cherish this time as much as you can. ^_^
    Last edited by White_Roar~; 4th February 2013 at 2:55 PM.

    Quote Originally Posted by Savanny
    This place is deader than my pets I have buried in the backyard...

  6. #3356
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    Agreed. I'm almost 21 and I'm still uncertain about my future.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lollygag View Post
    Agreed. I'm almost 21 and I'm still uncertain about my future.
    To quote Baz Luhrmann,

    "Don't feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't "

    I'm nearly 21 myself, and all my course choices so far have left me not wanting to pursue that subject so far. I don't know what I want to do after University.
    You're not alone!

    My advice, try everything.


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  8. #3358
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cipher_Admin View Post
    I need help. I befriended a girl at the beginning of the semester. She turned out really nice, giving me cookies before I went to my second class one day, and made plans with me on Valentine's Day. Since this Thursday, I was hoping to go meet her family today. However, whenever I texted her once on Friday and once today, me asking her about hanging out, she ignored me. I felt that I was my Asperger's Syndrome that kicked in where I am moving a bit too fast whenever I talked to her. I know that whenever something good happens to me such as doing something with a girl, I tend to tell about it like crazy and that's like a huge problem with me when it comes to being around girls. Would it be a good idea if I waited until Tuesday to talk to her? My dad told me that it will be a good idea if she brought up about what happened Saturday, along with her just being any ordinary girl. I am extremely worried that I might end a friendship by being this way where I am acting a bit too fast and begin to think that I am only good at screwing things up...
    Asperger's isn't something that "kicks in".

    Quote Originally Posted by Moonrox View Post
    I'm so confused with life, right now. I'm 12 years old, but don't say I'm too young to be thinking about this. It's not easy to put in to words, so excuse me if it's hard to understand.

    So, I've recently been thinking a lot about the future. Future job, future family, future house, everything. I'm scared to death, because I don't really know where I want to live, what job I want to do, or who I want to live with. I have plenty of time to think about all of this, but it's all I can think about. Every place I can think of living is not a place that I would like to live in and raise children in. Future job isn't as much of a worry, but I want to do something fun, that pays well, that allows me to spend time with my family. I want to be a good father, not an idiotic father like mine. Future partner, I can't stop thinking about this. I dislike almost every human being I've come across, and the chances of me finding someone decent makes me want to cry. I don't know what to do, and I know I have plenty of time to think about this, but I'm not sure if it'll be enough. I'm really scared of the future, right now.
    Worrying about it doesn't help, so stop doing that.

  9. #3359
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cipher_Admin View Post
    I need help. I befriended a girl at the beginning of the semester. She turned out really nice, giving me cookies before I went to my second class one day, and made plans with me on Valentine's Day. Since this Thursday, I was hoping to go meet her family today. However, whenever I texted her once on Friday and once today, me asking her about hanging out, she ignored me. I felt that I was my Asperger's Syndrome that kicked in where I am moving a bit too fast whenever I talked to her. I know that whenever something good happens to me such as doing something with a girl, I tend to tell about it like crazy and that's like a huge problem with me when it comes to being around girls. Would it be a good idea if I waited until Tuesday to talk to her? My dad told me that it will be a good idea if she brought up about what happened Saturday, along with her just being any ordinary girl. I am extremely worried that I might end a friendship by being this way where I am acting a bit too fast and begin to think that I am only good at screwing things up...
    Listen my friend, I have this to so I know how hard routeens are to break and so don't put yourself down over this...you got to stay calm, think about what she could be going through...maybe she's going through something herself that's not putting her in the mood to talk...I know, I always get this feeling to when something goes wrong that "O, maybe it's me..." not always true. it could very well be something that's going on in her life to

    Quote Originally Posted by GrizzlyB View Post
    ahve ur asperger removed and i bet shell luv u! hope i helped
    and look, asperger's isn't just something you can "remove"...it's something you have for life, it's a life-long condition...I know because like I told him, I have it as well...mild but I still have it
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liz Azzimagica View Post
    I know because like I told him, I have it as well...mild but I still have it
    Trust me, we know. Everyone has it, didn't you know?

  11. #3361
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    I have a sort of middle-child syndrome. I'm fine with my sister, but my 8-year-old brother is ridiculous.

    He beats me up all the time, (I'm 11) safe in the knowledge I'll get a guilty conscience if I fight back and therefore won't. He annoys me to the point of me just wanting to lock myself in my room and never come out and then says I'm the worst brother he could ever have and he would trade me for Justin Bieber in a heartbeat. Then at dinner he talks nonstop about soccer and how I should be better at sport and not rant so much about academics like him. 99% of the names he calls me would get me a permaban for listing them. I just wish I knew what to do. He denies everything I say to my parents and acts all innocent when I accuse him, so that's out. Help?
    Quote Originally Posted by Tropius19 View Post
    This thread proves sppf is full of geniuses :x
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neon Squirtle View Post
    I have a sort of middle-child syndrome. I'm fine with my sister, but my 8-year-old brother is ridiculous.

    He beats me up all the time, (I'm 11) safe in the knowledge I'll get a guilty conscience if I fight back and therefore won't. He annoys me to the point of me just wanting to lock myself in my room and never come out and then says I'm the worst brother he could ever have and he would trade me for Justin Bieber in a heartbeat. Then at dinner he talks nonstop about soccer and how I should be better at sport and not rant so much about academics like him. 99% of the names he calls me would get me a permaban for listing them. I just wish I knew what to do. He denies everything I say to my parents and acts all innocent when I accuse him, so that's out. Help?
    You don't get a permaban for listing them once. Probably not even a ban at all. I don't remember exactly how the point system works, but you need to do a lot of wrong to get banned the first time.
    Just hit your brother when he taunts you. The slap seems to work fine for making someone stop talking, but doesn't hurt them. Breaking the nose is relatively easy and will result in a lot of bleeding, which makes a good warning. He won't taunt you again after experiencing that! There also is the put a piece of cloth in his mouth and bind him to a chair in the basement. But you might not have a basement. You can also try arsenic in his food if none of the above works.

  13. #3363
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig View Post
    You don't get a permaban for listing them once. Probably not even a ban at all. I don't remember exactly how the point system works, but you need to do a lot of wrong to get banned the first time.
    Just hit your brother when he taunts you. The slap seems to work fine for making someone stop talking, but doesn't hurt them. Breaking the nose is relatively easy and will result in a lot of bleeding, which makes a good warning. He won't taunt you again after experiencing that! There also is the put a piece of cloth in his mouth and bind him to a chair in the basement. But you might not have a basement. You can also try arsenic in his food if none of the above works.
    Thanks, I really appreciate it. =)

    Just a side note, the swear filter would stop most of the names my 8 year old brother calls me. Shameful really. Also, ARSENIC? I just read about it and despite temptations I'm really not eager to poison him.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tropius19 View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neon Squirtle View Post
    Thanks, I really appreciate it. =)

    Just a side note, the swear filter would stop most of the names my 8 year old brother calls me. Shameful really. Also, ARSENIC? I just read about it and despite temptations I'm really not eager to poison him.
    Just my few cents, (for now): Also, show your little brother that You're older than him and YOU'RE in charge. He has NO RIGHT to control you. (As far as we know) Let him know that you're his older brother and he has to listen to you when Mom and Dad aren't home.

    I'll probably slap a wall of text about this later. =P

    Quote Originally Posted by Savanny
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neon Squirtle View Post
    I have a sort of middle-child syndrome. I'm fine with my sister, but my 8-year-old brother is ridiculous.

    He beats me up all the time, (I'm 11) safe in the knowledge I'll get a guilty conscience if I fight back and therefore won't. He annoys me to the point of me just wanting to lock myself in my room and never come out and then says I'm the worst brother he could ever have and he would trade me for Justin Bieber in a heartbeat. Then at dinner he talks nonstop about soccer and how I should be better at sport and not rant so much about academics like him. 99% of the names he calls me would get me a permaban for listing them. I just wish I knew what to do. He denies everything I say to my parents and acts all innocent when I accuse him, so that's out. Help?
    How are you getting beat up by someone like 3-4 years younger than you? Aren't you bigger? You should be laying the beatdown on him if anything. Brothers fight, but what he's doing is bullying and he won't stop until you take action. Seriously, if your parents or other persons in charge won't listen, then seriously suggest laying a quick body slam on him to show that your not going to take it anymore.

    I'm not saying knock him out or anything, but letting him hit you and you not doing anything is clearly letting him think he won. It won't stop until you make it stop.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jb View Post
    How are you getting beat up by someone like 3-4 years younger than you? Aren't you bigger? You should be laying the beatdown on him if anything. Brothers fight, but what he's doing is bullying and he won't stop until you take action. Seriously, if your parents or other persons in charge won't listen, then seriously suggest laying a quick body slam on him to show that your not going to take it anymore.

    I'm not saying knock him out or anything, but letting him hit you and you not doing anything is clearly letting him think he won. It won't stop until you make it stop.
    I think that my breaking nose suggestion works better than a body slam.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neon Squirtle View Post
    I have a sort of middle-child syndrome. I'm fine with my sister, but my 8-year-old brother is ridiculous.

    He beats me up all the time, (I'm 11) safe in the knowledge I'll get a guilty conscience if I fight back and therefore won't. He annoys me to the point of me just wanting to lock myself in my room and never come out and then says I'm the worst brother he could ever have and he would trade me for Justin Bieber in a heartbeat. Then at dinner he talks nonstop about soccer and how I should be better at sport and not rant so much about academics like him. 99% of the names he calls me would get me a permaban for listing them. I just wish I knew what to do. He denies everything I say to my parents and acts all innocent when I accuse him, so that's out. Help?
    Read this >> http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divis...ices#section_2


    Then look up the one for your state (If U live in the US, NOT SURE WHAT OTHER COUNTRIES HAVE EM')

    Only if you don't wana take things to the mano-a-mano resort

  18. #3368
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neon Squirtle View Post
    Thanks, I really appreciate it. =)

    Just a side note, the swear filter would stop most of the names my 8 year old brother calls me. Shameful really. Also, ARSENIC? I just read about it and despite temptations I'm really not eager to poison him.
    As people have said, you have to excercise control. Steal or break his favourite toys/limbs/facial features and Then deny and act innocent to the parents. Or simply get solid proof to the parents, which is what I did to my younger sister (she wasn't abusive, but she could get away with doing anything she wanted, up to and includng stealing money and selling my stuff to buy dog food (really dog food, not drugs)) and they realised I was tellingthe truth and had been for like 2 years.
    To make it clear, if you PM me, I get an email. I do not use this site anymore.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jb View Post
    How are you getting beat up by someone like 3-4 years younger than you? Aren't you bigger? You should be laying the beatdown on him if anything. Brothers fight, but what he's doing is bullying and he won't stop until you take action. Seriously, if your parents or other persons in charge won't listen, then seriously suggest laying a quick body slam on him to show that your not going to take it anymore.

    I'm not saying knock him out or anything, but letting him hit you and you not doing anything is clearly letting him think he won. It won't stop until you make it stop.
    It's because I am naturally a gentle person, so if I slug him in the chest I'll get a guilty conscience later on. I know it's ridiculous, and it's one of the things I hate about myself, but I can't change it. Also he is more relentless, so he won't stop until he's sure I've given up, while I always stop when he tells me because of the aforementioned reasons. He once chipped my tooth by punching me in the mouth.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tropius19 View Post
    This thread proves sppf is full of geniuses :x
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    Hoenn Starters :3



    I'm gone from SPPF to pursue academics, and I most likely won't be back. Bye!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne0n-H!tch'd View Post
    Read this >> http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divis...ices#section_2


    Then look up the one for your state (If U live in the US, NOT SURE WHAT OTHER COUNTRIES HAVE EM')

    Only if you don't wana take things to the mano-a-mano resort
    If he doesn't want to retaliate, he doesn't deserve help.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neon Squirtle View Post
    It's because I am naturally a gentle person, so if I slug him in the chest I'll get a guilty conscience later on. I know it's ridiculous, and it's one of the things I hate about myself, but I can't change it. Also he is more relentless, so he won't stop until he's sure I've given up, while I always stop when he tells me because of the aforementioned reasons. He once chipped my tooth by punching me in the mouth.
    Just break his nose and endure the guilt.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neon Squirtle View Post
    It's because I am naturally a gentle person, so if I slug him in the chest I'll get a guilty conscience later on. I know it's ridiculous, and it's one of the things I hate about myself, but I can't change it. Also he is more relentless, so he won't stop until he's sure I've given up, while I always stop when he tells me because of the aforementioned reasons. He once chipped my tooth by punching me in the mouth.
    I understand your plight, there are many people who wish not to harm others; however, if you refuse to harm him, I say to at least talk to him in a firm, strict, and somewhat harsh voice. Talk serious. Talking firm will at least let him know that you will/might say something to your parents. OR talking firm could "confuse" him, considering he's been bullying you for quite some time, he doesn't exactly know that you can retaliate in such a manner. Talking firm will show him 'who's boss' and that you're older than him so he can't just bully you around and get his way. In one-shot - Talking firm will let him know that you're taking action and you can't take it anymore.

    EDIT: Oh, and if he doesn't stop until you give up, then under no circumstances are you to give up. The second you give up puts a thought in his mind that he's won and he just do that to you whenever he pleases.

    Another thing I suggest is to learn to block his 'wild' attacks. Like you said, his 'punch' chipped your tooth. I really, really, suggest to learn to block or guard against his punches/wild attacks.
    Last edited by White_Roar~; 13th February 2013 at 2:50 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neon Squirtle View Post
    It's because I am naturally a gentle person, so if I slug him in the chest I'll get a guilty conscience later on. I know it's ridiculous, and it's one of the things I hate about myself, but I can't change it. Also he is more relentless, so he won't stop until he's sure I've given up, while I always stop when he tells me because of the aforementioned reasons. He once chipped my tooth by punching me in the mouth.
    Not fighting back is probably a good thing. Hitting him isn't necessarily going to get him to stop, it could just as easily provoke him. From the way you are decribing things it sounds like the latter. (have you tried fighting back before?) It certainly isn't going to help your case in the eyes of your parents if they catch you doing it either.

    If your parents don't believe you, you should probably try and get them to catch him in the act or obtain some other form of proof. Though I would think they would take notice if he chipped your tooth, did he not get in trouble for that? (if not, you may want to talk to a school guidance counselor about it)

    Beyond that I really do suggest trying to avoid/ignore him whenever possible if you aren't already.
    Last edited by Zazie; 13th February 2013 at 4:13 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zazie View Post
    Not fighting back is probably a good thing. Hitting him isn't necessarily going to get him to stop, it could just as easily provoke him. From the way you are decribing things it sounds like the latter. (have you tried fighting back before?) It certainly isn't going to help your case in the eyes of your parents if they catch you doing it either.

    If your parents don't believe you, you should probably try and get them to catch him in the act or obtain some other form of proof. Though I would think they would take notice if he chipped your tooth, did he not get in trouble for that? (if not, you may want to talk to a school guidance counselor about it)

    Beyond that I really do suggest trying to avoid/ignore him whenever possible if you aren't already.
    Really it just provokes him, so I don't often fight back. He did catch a lot of heat for chipping my tooth actually, but he just fell about laughing for no apparent reason and he was off the hook. After that I gave up with it. My parents actually saw him beating me up a few hours ago, so now they believe me when I say he beats me up and say I should smack him back. He doesn't beat me up so much now, so really all you guys were right. Thanks!

    EDIT: @Gothic-Gothorita Blocking/martial arts have never worked for me. I tried karate once and, oh god just no. It went so badly I cringe whenever I see a picture of Bruce Lee now. Don't ask.
    Last edited by Argon Wartortle; 13th February 2013 at 6:21 PM.
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  24. #3374
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zazie View Post
    Not fighting back is probably a good thing. Hitting him isn't necessarily going to get him to stop, it could just as easily provoke him. From the way you are decribing things it sounds like the latter. (have you tried fighting back before?) It certainly isn't going to help your case in the eyes of your parents if they catch you doing it either.

    If your parents don't believe you, you should probably try and get them to catch him in the act or obtain some other form of proof. Though I would think they would take notice if he chipped your tooth, did he not get in trouble for that? (if not, you may want to talk to a school guidance counselor about it)

    Beyond that I really do suggest trying to avoid/ignore him whenever possible if you aren't already.
    Not fighting back will not make it stop.

  25. #3375
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig View Post
    Not fighting back will not make it stop.
    This, I am a strong believer that if they are the first to throw a punch it's fair game to knock their nose out regardless of the situation unless they are really of no real threat to you.

    My parents have threatened to kick m out of the house for grabbing my little sisters arms when she comes after me because she is a minor. I really don't give a crap, if she is going to come after me then I am going to restrain her, it is that simple. If they want to fine me in court then so be it.

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