Page 117 of 172 FirstFirst ... 1767107113114115116117118119120121127167 ... LastLast
Results 2,901 to 2,925 of 4279

Thread: The Advice Thread - "What should I do about this weird mole growing on my back"

  1. #2901
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Profesco View Post
    Fair enough, but it's not just marriage, is it? I suppose I'm stacking the deck, because what I keep imaging as my counter-example is simply being about 22 years old and having found the girl of your dreams and started dating her. That doesn't automatically mean marriage, home ownership, babies, and 50 hours a week in a cubicle. It just means you love somebody for real who loves you back, and you no longer feel the desire to date anybody else.

    But also maybe our discussion is being framed by this Western ethos of absolute freedom, of freedom for freedom's sake, where the only thing that matters is unlimited choice and unrestricted personal whim. It's common to think that, unless you can do absolutely anything you want to do and just because you feel like doing it, your freedom is restricted. I don't buy into that concept of freedom. It makes it awfully easy to create a false sense of victimization, thinking that someone's restricting your rights because you have some kind responsibility or onus on yourself to live up to an external standard or commitment. What carries more value than unrestricted whim, for me, is self-discipline and self-actualization. It's having responsibilities and connections that serve to perfect your identity as a competent and compassionate human being and fulfill your psychological needs. But that's a long conversation for another place and time.
    Several days before I met my wife, I was joking with my girlfriend that I didn't want to ruin a perfect relationship by getting married! The highlighted sentence is definitely the clue that you might really want to marry "this one" Prof.

    As for freedom... I do come from a different generation. And had what could be considered the ideal family upbringing. My parents were married till the day my mother died(so 50+ years), and my dad still wears his ring seven years later. What carries more value that Unrestricted whim? Stability, commitment, shared existence. I don't know how sentimental this is going to get, but I have loved women before I met my wife. But until I met her I never Loved a woman! I have moved mountains and parted seas, just to make her smile. I'll work 60 hour work weeks, just so she does not have to work. She can if she wants to but she does not need to. I will drive an older car (yes 2007 is older to us!) so she can have the new hotness to drive around in. It's been 24 years and I still get moved to tears when I see her and am dazzled by her beauty, just like the night I met her at a birthday party! You have never experienced freedom until you have let go of all the restraints on your heart and love someone with every fiber of your being and be loved back with the same intensity. I wake up to that freedom everyday. I literally know there is no woman who is better than my wife is for me!

    Sure we fight, bicker and get on each others nerves. But that's part of the whole package. The big secret, EVERY COUPLE FIGHTS! Two people cannot live under the same roof (be together) and never fight! If you can accept that truth, you have won a great victory.

    As for being able to give dating advice to your generation... I have a daughter you age. I have watched her grow up. That includes seeing how her generation dates. I listened to her and her friends (both male and female) grouse about dating while they played video games or played D&D!

    The stuff your generation is agonizing over is the same stuff we agonized over and our parents agonized over. Nothing is new except you don't have drive-in movies to fog up the windows at, so you try to do that somewhere else.
    Last edited by Malanu; 12th June 2012 at 4:20 AM.

    So true!

  2. #2902
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    *sigh* Ohio
    Posts
    6,835

    Default

    Love is like the most evil thing in the world. I've never seen so much hate, anger and just bad stuff happen from anything else than love and things involving it.

  3. #2903
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Snorunt conservationist View Post
    Not...sure....if... being...condescending...or....not.
    In all honest sincerity, Sno, I wasn't being condescending. I actually meant that. Your explanation seriously cleared up everything you've been saying. Like everything you said all suddenly made sense.

    I guess in my moment of clarity I didn't see how my comment could be taken in any other way but honestly Sorry for confusing you.

    3DS FC: 5129-1087-8128 Friend Safari: Phanpy, Dugtrio, Diggersby
    IGN: Varanus ~I have officially claimed Chompy!~

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLucarioADV View Post
    Varanus already said not to and she's smarter than me so I should Listen to her.
    -------

  4. #2904
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Dinosaur Planet
    Posts
    3,034

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    Love is like the most evil thing in the world. I've never seen so much hate, anger and just bad stuff happen from anything else than love and things involving it.
    Very true

    That being said, it's just so hard to resist

    ^ Click this for good times ^


  5. #2905
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    Love is like the most evil thing in the world. I've never seen so much hate, anger and just bad stuff happen from anything else than love and things involving it.
    My retort to this is that true love (and I don't mean romantic Disney princess "true love", I mean love that is true) would NEVER beget hate or anger. If a boyfriend and girlfriend break up and one of them physically assaults the other, that is NOT love and it is not a result of anything that was love. If two friends have a falling-out and maliciously gossip about each other, that is NOT love and it is NOT a result of anything that was love.

    No matter what religion you are or are not, I think that most people can agree that the passage in the Bible about "love is patient, love is kind" and all of that gives a pretty good description of what love should and shouldn't be:

    "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

    Let's take that apart. Love IS:

    patient
    kind
    feels joy in truth
    forgiving
    endures things it does not enjoy
    believes/hopes

    Love is NOT:

    envious
    boasting/proud of itself (i.e, it is humble)
    dishonoring others (such as ruining reputations/gossiping)
    selfish
    angry
    delights in causing pain

    So my point is that if you see hate coming from what you say is love, then that love is not really love.

    3DS FC: 5129-1087-8128 Friend Safari: Phanpy, Dugtrio, Diggersby
    IGN: Varanus ~I have officially claimed Chompy!~

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLucarioADV View Post
    Varanus already said not to and she's smarter than me so I should Listen to her.
    -------

  6. #2906
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    *sigh* Ohio
    Posts
    6,835

    Default

    If I wanted to read a Halmark card I would have gone to the store.

  7. #2907
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    Love is like the most evil thing in the world. I've never seen so much hate, anger and just bad stuff happen from anything else than love and things involving it.
    Love isn't, but love spurned is.

    So true!

  8. #2908
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    If I wanted to read a Halmark card I would have gone to the store.
    I could have pulled a quote from anywhere, or anyone, or anything. I think that that one is the best description of what love is and isn't. Just because it's from the Bible and not Marilyn Monroe or Stephen Hawking or anyone else doesn't mean that you should automatically discredit it as nonsense. There are a lot of nonsensical things in the Bible, but there are also a lot of sensible things. I think that goes for just about anyone or anything.

    I think our society has a tendency to believe that those who are jaded about love are the "experienced" or "wise" ones, because they have seen love's true nature and what it does to your heart or some bull like that. Love is not a romantic thing. True love is JOYFUL. It is joy in serving and selflessly giving to others. Romanticism - eros - is not the only kind of love that there is. You can be in love without being in romantic love - and in my experience, this joy and love is gained through teaching yourself to be patient, kind, and selfless even when you don't want to.

    It's HARD to be patient. It's HARD to be humble. Love is hard. And these good things that are hard to do are what love is. They bring great joy because they are hard to do, just like many things in life. You don't become good at something overnight. Most hobbies that bring people joy - like martial arts, or dance, or acting - are HARD. You don't get good at them overnight. But when you persevere and work on them, they bring you joy. Love is the same way.

    Just because it sounds like a Hallmark card to you doesn't mean that you can't have it and that it doesn't exist.
    Last edited by varanus_komodoensis; 12th June 2012 at 4:58 AM.

    3DS FC: 5129-1087-8128 Friend Safari: Phanpy, Dugtrio, Diggersby
    IGN: Varanus ~I have officially claimed Chompy!~

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLucarioADV View Post
    Varanus already said not to and she's smarter than me so I should Listen to her.
    -------

  9. #2909
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    *sigh* Ohio
    Posts
    6,835

    Default

    The source of it didn't matter, it was still that sappy love crap that really is only true if you try and force things.

  10. #2910
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    Soge, you are are only saying that because you haven't been in love before. If you think Hallmark is sappy, you should see true love in action. I do think that one can be in love and be proud of that fact. It would be arrogance that would be wrong. But I think that's a different story altogether.

    I will give you this Soge, you are partly right. Love does not need to be mushy. My parents loved each other and yet fought every day till the day my mom died.

    So true!

  11. #2911
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    *sigh* Ohio
    Posts
    6,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Malanu View Post

    I will give you this Soge, you are partly right. Love does not need to be mushy. My parents loved each other and yet fought every day till the day my mom died.
    It's only true love if the reason she died was because they were fighting over a volcano and he won by pushing her into it.

  12. #2912
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    The source of it didn't matter, it was still that sappy love crap that really is only true if you try and force things.
    If you really love someone, you won't lash out at them in anger. You will not do hateful things to them, like ruining their reputation, no matter how upset with them you are. You won't belittle them or try to make them jealous.

    Those things are not loving. Being selfless, and not selfish, is loving. This is not "sappy love crap". "Sappy love crap" makes love sound like rainbows and butterflies and dancing leprechauns. These things I'm saying might sound "sappy", but they are not sappy. They are DIFFICULT TO DO. Patience is hard, when your significant other gets a little too tipsy and is embarrassing you in front of your friends. It's hard to be selfless when your significant other says, "Honey, can we not [do this activity that you were really looking forward to]? My mother called and she wants us to come have tea and crumpets with her and waste our entire afternoon talking about people you don't know."

    Doing the right thing in these situations is hard, and being patient and selfless is truly loving, as sappy as it sounds.

    3DS FC: 5129-1087-8128 Friend Safari: Phanpy, Dugtrio, Diggersby
    IGN: Varanus ~I have officially claimed Chompy!~

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLucarioADV View Post
    Varanus already said not to and she's smarter than me so I should Listen to her.
    -------

  13. #2913
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Inna House... With Cable!!!
    Posts
    3,821

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    It's only true love if the reason she died was because they were fighting over a volcano and he won by pushing her into it.
    Close. Lung cancer. She had smoked the majority of her life. But yeah, I think I heard that joke before...

    So true!

  14. #2914
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Adulthood!
    Posts
    6,420

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    Love is like the most evil thing in the world. I've never seen so much hate, anger and just bad stuff happen from anything else than love and things involving it.
    Stop being such a douche. I'm actually dead serious for once.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cenobitic View Post
    I thought you were straight, Kreis.

  15. #2915
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Die Vereinigten Staaten
    Posts
    219

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    It's only true love if the reason she died was because they were fighting over a volcano and he won by pushing her into it.
    That's a pretty selfish view. Love is meant to be Mutual, meaning both should benefit. Parents will be parents, and will fight for their children, but that is a different kind of love (more compassion, or rather instinct). However you choose to leave this Earth, well, thats up to you.
    Quote Originally Posted by varanus_komodoensis
    Being selfless, and not selfish, is loving.
    ^This, thanks for it varanus .

  16. #2916
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    *sigh* Ohio
    Posts
    6,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rayce View Post
    That's a pretty selfish view. Love is meant to be Mutual, meaning both should benefit. Parents will be parents, and will fight for their children, but that is a different kind of love (more compassion, or rather instinct). However you choose to leave this Earth, well, thats up to you.
    Are you saying a volcano battle isn't the greatest kind of love there is? What is wrong with you?

  17. #2917
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Die Vereinigten Staaten
    Posts
    219

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    Are you saying a volcano battle isn't the greatest kind of love there is? What is wrong with you?
    How about a nice Japanese-Sushi restaurant by the ocean at about 6:25 during the middle of the summer? Not quite as intense since no one's getting killed, but that sounds a lot nicer and more... fun, lol.

  18. #2918
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    *sigh* Ohio
    Posts
    6,835

    Default

    You haven't seen fun until you've seen the look of total defeat on another persons face that you caused.

  19. #2919
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Die Vereinigten Staaten
    Posts
    219

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    You haven't seen fun until you've seen the look of total defeat on another persons face that you caused.
    That sounds like so much fun, please tell me more how you've done it in real life.

    I'll stick with my idea, but thanks for the suggestion

  20. #2920
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Celadon City, Den of Vice
    Posts
    2,254

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by varanus_komodoensis
    Being selfless, and not selfish, is loving.
    Loving who exactly?

    It's important to love yourself too. Society puts way too much emphasis on "selflessness". Do your best to always give and ignoring your own wants and need is not healthy. Any sort of relationship with others, romantic or not, is give and take. It's not just about giving and receiving love either, people have to love themselves.

    I am not sure if you were actually insinuating that one should be totally selfless, but I do feel like it is something to point out as general advice.

    This pukey after-school special was brought to you by Glass Eye, the advice fairy, and the letter S.

    Watch me tumble stuff:
    http://catharsiscat.tumblr.com/


  21. #2921
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rayce View Post
    That sounds like so much fun, please tell me more how you've done it in real life.

    I'll stick with my idea, but thanks for the suggestion
    I also prefer the sushi idea...ocean creatures have spent the past 3.8 billion years perfecting their forms, which is why they're so delicious. You and I can go have sushi on a peaceful beach, Rayce. That sounds much more desirable than volcanoes.


    Quote Originally Posted by Glass Eye View Post
    Loving who exactly?

    It's important to love yourself too. Society puts way too much emphasis on "selflessness". Do your best to always give and ignoring your own wants and need is not healthy. Any sort of relationship with others, romantic or not, is give and take. It's not just about giving and receiving love either, people have to love themselves.

    I am not sure if you were actually insinuating that one should be totally selfless, but I do feel like it is something to point out as general advice.

    This pukey after-school special was brought to you by Glass Eye, the advice fairy, and the letter S.
    I didn't mean to insinuate that you should totally destroy yourself in the name of selflessness. You're totally right, Glass-Eye. But I was talking about situations in which your own desires are simply wants; situations in which the selfless thing to do is also the right thing to do, even though you don't want to do it. Like having tea with your mother-in-law instead of staying home and watching TV.
    Last edited by varanus_komodoensis; 12th June 2012 at 5:56 AM.

    3DS FC: 5129-1087-8128 Friend Safari: Phanpy, Dugtrio, Diggersby
    IGN: Varanus ~I have officially claimed Chompy!~

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLucarioADV View Post
    Varanus already said not to and she's smarter than me so I should Listen to her.
    -------

  22. #2922
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    *sigh* Ohio
    Posts
    6,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Glass Eye View Post
    Loving who exactly?

    It's important to love yourself too. Society puts way too much emphasis on "selflessness". Do your best to always give and ignoring your own wants and need is not healthy. Any sort of relationship with others, romantic or not, is give and take. It's not just about giving and receiving love either, people have to love themselves.

    I am not sure if you were actually insinuating that one should be totally selfless, but I do feel like it is something to point out as general advice.

    This pukey after-school special was brought to you by Glass Eye, the advice fairy, and the letter S.
    It's like you're Ayn Rand but not as crazy.

  23. #2923
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Die Vereinigten Staaten
    Posts
    219

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Glass Eye View Post
    Loving who exactly?

    It's important to love yourself too. Society puts way too much emphasis on "selflessness". Do your best to always give and ignoring your own wants and need is not healthy. Any sort of relationship with others, romantic or not, is give and take. It's not just about giving and receiving love either, people have to love themselves.

    I am not sure if you were actually insinuating that one should be totally selfless, but I do feel like it is something to point out as general advice.

    This pukey after-school special was brought to you by Glass Eye, the advice fairy, and the letter S.
    This is very good advice, one of my friends got tied up in a relationship so much that he neglected his need for Man-Time, otherwise known to you ladies as time away, and he drifted apart from our group. Oh, why? ;_;

    BTW, I loved that last sentence. Thought I'd let you know you made someone laugh over the internet .

  24. #2924
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Celadon City, Den of Vice
    Posts
    2,254

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sogeking View Post
    It's like you're Ayn Rand but not as crazy.
    I am not a fan of Ayn Rand, but I guess I will take that as a compliment.

    Watch me tumble stuff:
    http://catharsiscat.tumblr.com/


  25. #2925
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    *sigh* Ohio
    Posts
    6,835

    Default

    Well what person in their right mind would be a fan of her? That's like being a fan of a reality star, it shows your opinions are awful.

Page 117 of 172 FirstFirst ... 1767107113114115116117118119120121127167 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •