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Thread: The Official Advice Thread

  1. #4051
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sceptile Master View Post
    So... another question (maybe two?)
        Spoiler:- Lots of stuff here:
    I was the same way. It is really awful. Maybe seeing a therapist would help? I want to say what it SEEMS like to me but I in no way have any qualifications to make any such suggestions.
    All I ask for is 100% pure honesty from my trading partner. Whether it be cloned or hacked is of no offense to me. I also may include a request for an item. A rule that will constantly stand is if my shiny is Kalos native but yours isn't, you may have to up the offer.

  2. #4052
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    I have a date tomorrow, and i have no idea how to act. Could anyone please provide me With some helpfull advice?

  3. #4053
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schade View Post
    I have a date tomorrow, and i have no idea how to act. Could anyone please provide me With some helpfull advice?
    Probably the thing you'll hear most is "be yourself", but that's also the most important thing. That may be hard if you're nervous, of course, but it depends on the situation. That would be the basic, number one rule, though. How well do you know the girl at all? If you give more detail about that, then it'll be easier to give you more specific advice.

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  4. #4054
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schade View Post
    I have a date tomorrow, and i have no idea how to act. Could anyone please provide me With some helpfull advice?
    Roseheart is right; we really need more information on how well you know this person, and whether you are male or female and if your date is male or female (or neither, or whatever). If it's someone that you don't know well and she (he? I'm just going to assume it's a girl) is traditional about dates, bring her some flowers. Obviously you must know something about her, so talk to her about what you know about her - her favorite classes, or her hobbies, for example. Tell her about yourself, too, and act interested in everything she has to say. Definitely don't dominate the conversation - let it be 50/50. Just be nice and polite. Don't say anything mean or unpleasant about anything or anyone, and say "please" and "thank you" and offer to pay for her and leave a nice tip for the waiter if you go out to dinner.

    And just remember - she obviously likes you, because she agreed to go out with you. So don't be too nervous.
    Last edited by varanus_komodoensis; 20th February 2014 at 5:43 PM.

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  5. #4055
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    i throw up or feel like throwing up every time i wake up

    my diet is normal

    what do

  6. #4056
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    Throw up some more.

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  7. #4057
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Meddler View Post
    You're telling me what I shouldn't do rather than what I should do.
    First of all calling girls you don't know babydoll is a good way for them to not want to go to your Xat.

    Second why do you care so much about there being women there?

    Third you're valuing them for being female more then what they can bring to the chat.
    Also that KKK joke was not funny.
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  8. #4058
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magnegross View Post
    i throw up or feel like throwing up every time i wake up

    my diet is normal

    what do
    Going to see a doctor about it is probably your best option.

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  9. #4059
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    So I'm having an issue i hope some people can help me with...


    I know this person who's a bit young, and is kind of sensitive.

    ...And that is where the problem lies. She doesn't seem to get why I take serious issue with the fact that she tends to victimize herself or over react to the simplest of things when I tell her at the same time (perhaps fallaciously?) that people have different thresholds of sensitivity.


    Like for example, last night she got really upset (online) when me and my friends were having a caps war. It's just silly stuff, we were jokingly laughing at each other, in our own little group of friends. But she felt something from that and reacted to it saying "DON'T YELL AT HIM" when I really didn't care and actually enjoyed it when he caps his words like that. She does it even more when the fake caps of rage are directed at her, but at least THAT I could understand. Anyway, after talking with her last night about why that's bad, we have a little conversation today about the fact that I feel sick. She said that she feels sick like that all the time, and yet she doesn't "complain about it" (well she does but she meant it in the context of the fact that I didn't want to be on at all while I was sick). I then told her that people have different thresholds of tolerance and what they're willing to go through, and you shouldn't be judgmental about it. She then asked why do I (and many other people in the guild) take such issue with her being so "sensitive" when I clearly stated that I know (and therefore they probably know) that people have different thresholds of tolerance.


    She had to go after that, so we didn't get to continue the conversation, but I'm really not liking the situation I'm putting myself into here. How do I explain to her that that showing of hyper sensitivity is bad, and needs to at least be toned down a bit?

    I'm pretty sensitive myself, so I told her it's okay if things upset you, I just didn't want her to throw a hissy fit about it in the guild chat. But I'm unsure how to explain it at this point. How do I do so?


    Or am I wrong about this and should I adjust myself to her instead?

  10. #4060
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    stop talking to her, boot her out of the guild, ignore her are all valid options here
    i don't want to live through winter
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  11. #4061
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    Quote Originally Posted by moot View Post
    stop talking to her, boot her out of the guild, ignore her are all valid options here
    In my case, the only one thats even close to a valid option is Ignore her (when she gets like this). kjlfkjdf

    I'm a little to invested into this to do something like that. I don't even own the guild anyway and honestly, when she's not over-reacting she's fine (she's gotten better at it at least...). >3> <3<

    I would rather fix her or teach her the error of her ways >3> But I guess that IS valid advice...ugh. Not one I like doe.

  12. #4062
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmphaticPikachu View Post
    I would rather fix her
    lol
    i don't want to live through winter
    i can't stand to see everything ending

  13. #4063
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    Quote Originally Posted by moot View Post
    lol
    I'm not even sure why you're laughing at me but whatever.

  14. #4064
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    You can't fix people who don't want to be fixed, man. And it's not your job to "fix" someone. How often does she overreact and bug people? Sone people just don'tmesh well with the rest of the guild. And if that's the case, gkick'ing her is definitely a viable option. Nothing personal, just some people aren't a good fit. If you don't want to be the bad guy (and/or don't want to talk the GM or an Officer into being the bad guy) put her on ignore. Those are kind of your two options.

  15. #4065
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    You can't fix people who don't want to be fixed, man. And it's not your job to "fix" someone. How often does she overreact and bug people? Sone people just don'tmesh well with the rest of the guild. And if that's the case, gkick'ing her is definitely a viable option. Nothing personal, just some people aren't a good fit. If you don't want to be the bad guy (and/or don't want to talk the GM or an Officer into being the bad guy) put her on ignore. Those are kind of your two options.
    Looking at my post, I don't think I said it was my "job" to fix her, and if I implied it I'm very sorry. sdjkjsfkjds

    But I do have a preference for how I like to do things, since I'm a little "too" helpful sometimes. Throwing them under the bus and telling them to go away is not how I want to do it (which is what I feel like I'm doing if I guild kick her), but I will ask her if she feels too unconformable there and wants to leave. There are times where I know she feels alienated by the talks about competitive gaming that she just doesn't get. (This is an elsword guild not a pokemon guild, so the competitive aspect isn't as intertwined as it is in pokemon guilds.) but otherwise...She communicates fine with us when she's not over reacting.

    I don't think it's the most frustrating thing in the world (Like we COULD deal with it), but she still does it. And it breaks the atmosphere when she does...

    I'm not sure though, when is it too much? Part of why I'm here I guess. I just don't know...Is it really all feeling based? If it "feels" like to much, we should do so and kick her?

  16. #4066
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    she also has preferences for how she likes to do things, which is why you can't 'fix' someone like this. if you want to not sever from them about the best you can do is have serious words with them about how they're acting. this would be most effective obviously if you aren't the only one who feels this way
    i don't want to live through winter
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  17. #4067
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    Ok, so I've got a sleep problem, a pretty specific one. The problem is that I'm really, really self-aware, and recently, every time I start falling asleep, I think, oh, I'm falling asleep now, and it wakes me back up. And then I'm like waiting to fall asleep... It's not a problem with sleep hygiene or anything like that, because I haven't changed anything. Apparently this is pretty common. Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, do you know what to do about it?
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  18. #4068

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hakajin View Post
    Ok, so I've got a sleep problem, a pretty specific one. The problem is that I'm really, really self-aware, and recently, every time I start falling asleep, I think, oh, I'm falling asleep now, and it wakes me back up. And then I'm like waiting to fall asleep... It's not a problem with sleep hygiene or anything like that, because I haven't changed anything. Apparently this is pretty common. Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, do you know what to do about it?
    I have this problem sometimes. I just try to make a story in my head and keep it going until I fall asleep. Usually, I wake up and don't remember where my story left off so it gives me the chance to use it again the next night. hope this helps.

  19. #4069
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    Quote Originally Posted by 好きなぼうし View Post
    I have this problem sometimes. I just try to make a story in my head and keep it going until I fall asleep. Usually, I wake up and don't remember where my story left off so it gives me the chance to use it again the next night. hope this helps.
    Yeah, that's what I've always done, and I've been trying to keep doing it, but I still tend to jump into thinking about sleeping... what I've been trying to do is force myself back into the story. Seemed to work the other night... anyway, thanks!

    EDIT: I've since found that it helps to go to bed earlier, because then I'm not worried about how long I have to sleep.
    Last edited by Hakajin; 24th March 2014 at 10:57 PM.
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  20. #4070
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    So, I've got to get my wisdom teeth removed soon, no other options. The trouble is, I literally cannot get any sort of injection/vaccination without sobbing and panicking because of the needle, and it requires me to have an IV. My other option is to do it at he hospital, a place that freaks me out, and have them use the gas to knock me out and then use an IV, plus the idea of having teeth ripped out of my mouth is horrible. I just flat-out panic when it's brought up (I started sobbing when I had to discuss it with the dentist), and just typing about it is freaking me out. Does anyone who's gone through it/have the same fears have any advice for calming down and not flipping out when it's mentioned?

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  21. #4071
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    Quote Originally Posted by Archsage View Post
    So, I've got to get my wisdom teeth removed soon, no other options. The trouble is, I literally cannot get any sort of injection/vaccination without sobbing and panicking because of the needle, and it requires me to have an IV. My other option is to do it at he hospital, a place that freaks me out, and have them use the gas to knock me out and then use an IV, plus the idea of having teeth ripped out of my mouth is horrible. I just flat-out panic when it's brought up (I started sobbing when I had to discuss it with the dentist), and just typing about it is freaking me out. Does anyone who's gone through it/have the same fears have any advice for calming down and not flipping out when it's mentioned?
    I had my wisdom teeth removed shortly after I became an adult. I was put under anesthesia for the procedure. You won't feel anything until after you wake back up. You will get sent home with pain medication or at least I was. Try just slowing breathing in and out to calm down. It might help if you don't look at the needle when they are about to poke you.
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  22. #4072
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    Quote Originally Posted by Archsage View Post
    So, I've got to get my wisdom teeth removed soon, no other options. The trouble is, I literally cannot get any sort of injection/vaccination without sobbing and panicking because of the needle, and it requires me to have an IV. My other option is to do it at he hospital, a place that freaks me out, and have them use the gas to knock me out and then use an IV, plus the idea of having teeth ripped out of my mouth is horrible. I just flat-out panic when it's brought up (I started sobbing when I had to discuss it with the dentist), and just typing about it is freaking me out. Does anyone who's gone through it/have the same fears have any advice for calming down and not flipping out when it's mentioned?
    If you can find an oral surgeon who is better at dealing with people who are afraid of needles that would probably help. That's what I had to do and it did help a lot. The person who is performing the surgery can really make a difference if they are good at keeping patients calm. It's something down to luck however, since location and possibly insurance can limit options.

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  23. #4073
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    I'm new to the site, and I want to post on things, I just can't think of anything. I feel that no matter what I post it won't add anything to the topic because my posts are so short. What should I do about this? Did anyone else have this problem when they were new? Thanks.

  24. #4074
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glaceon2000 View Post
    I'm new to the site, and I want to post on things, I just can't think of anything. I feel that no matter what I post it won't add anything to the topic because my posts are so short. What should I do about this? Did anyone else have this problem when they were new? Thanks.
    Yeah, I lurked forever before I finally got up the nerve to post, because I didn't want to sound like a total noob.
    The best way to get over this is to just post! If you are worried about your posts being to short, try to set a goal, like two lines written. Hitting the "Reply with Quote" button helps, because then you can respond to a person's post or talk about it more.
    If you are shy and don't want to do that, then you can post in a really popular thread, one that has a lot of replies, and it won't stand out. Try being interesting and make new points, or at least embellish the points you are making.
    Also, post about what interests you. Find something you really like and frequent that forum.

  25. #4075
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonair7 View Post
    Yeah, I lurked forever before I finally got up the nerve to post, because I didn't want to sound like a total noob.
    The best way to get over this is to just post! If you are worried about your posts being to short, try to set a goal, like two lines written. Hitting the "Reply with Quote" button helps, because then you can respond to a person's post or talk about it more.
    If you are shy and don't want to do that, then you can post in a really popular thread, one that has a lot of replies, and it won't stand out. Try being interesting and make new points, or at least embellish the points you are making.
    Also, post about what interests you. Find something you really like and frequent that forum.
    I lurked for a while too, I didn't know that posting would be so hard. I always thought of all the things I would say when I joined, but for some reason I can't now. I'll get used to it though, thank you for your advice

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