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Thread: The Advice Thread - "What should I do about this weird mole growing on my back"

  1. #4051
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shuam View Post
    This sentence alone and the fact that you tried to legitimize the use of the word babydoll when referring to women truly displays what I had stated in my prior message.
    You clearly have no idea how to talk to women & that in itself should have been the issue you posted on the advice thread. The fact that you're trying to make a Xat -- a worthless flash chat client -- a viable place for a new community to form is quite truthfully a little depressing, and the drive you possess to make this so is unbearable.
    I can't have a hobby?

    Clearly you need to prioritize your life. While being admin on a chat you so proudly created by filling in a form on the internet within seconds is an astonishing feat which most certainly deserves all of your life's effort in order to make it successful, I feel like learning to talk to women may be a little more beneficial to you in the long run, considering your chat will be dead in a couple months.
    I'm sure you think your deductive skills rival that of Sherlock Holmes, with your accusations that I have some sort of overdeveloped satisfaction with being a xat admin, and I'm putting my life's effort into it(which is apparently putting a sentence in my sig and posting in the advice thread). Also, the xat's been active for 2 years.

    A simple list of things not to do,
    1. M'lady
    2. Babydoll
    3. ;}
    4."auditioning for da m'ladies"
    This sort of contradicts what Sogeking said earlier.

    Why the hell would anyone want to come to your chat? WHAT does your chat bring that anyone can't get through their own social interactions be it in real life or on alternative, more thriving chat rooms. Why would m'dearest lady APPLY to become part of a Xat chat with a few people on it?
    Because of the friendly people on xat. ;]

    Speak like a normal ****ing human being, because (!SHOCKER!) women are also human beings. If you go talking around to people like some pompous medieval times prick, it generally is hard to socialize with people that don't do the same. Second off, it's on the internet. If you're really so desperate as to have more diversity in your life, the inner city has all the diversity you need. Go outside! It'll help your social skills, and seemingly might be the only way you talk to people outside of your Xat and SPPf. Your social skills are atrocious.
    Once again, this is a hobby. As much as it is wrong to stay inside all the time, it is to stay outside all the time. It can get cold, and the inner city is full of, well, crime. When I'm inside, I don't dream of going back outside, this is one of the things I do. I know you think you've got me figured out, but considering just about everything you've said was wrong, you should stop trying to figure other people out and figure yourself out.

  2. #4052
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    If that post is ironic it's just not funny, and if it isn't it's just sad.

  3. #4053
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    I don't even know how I could help you anymore. You're unwilling to take valid advice.

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  4. #4054
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shuam View Post
    I don't even know how I could help you anymore. You're unwilling to take valid advice.
    You're telling me what I shouldn't do rather than what I should do.

  5. #4055
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    So ...

    I suspect I may have a mild case of OCD. I've taken a few tests on the net which basically say that either I have it or I need to be tested further, and I've checked out some of the symptoms. I'll be honest: I show some symptoms of OCD, but not some others, and those others are the clinchers that tell you for sure you have OCD. Myself, I'm no psych major. I have no idea about what I may or may not have. I may have some other similar disorder, and not know it at all; I've only checked out OCD because it's something which has been featured prominently in popular culture at times. I've only confided in a few friends irl about my suspicions, and they think I should tell someone. I'd rather not tell my parents for various personal reasons. My school had a student counselor, and I was going to speak to her until I learnt she left the school a few weeks ago. I'm not a very independent person, so I'd rather not go ahead and take the initiative to do something like book a psychiatrist/psychologist (whichever would be appropriate) appointment. I need to talk to someone who'd understand. Teachers are out of the question - again, for various reasons.

    I'm hoping SPPF has some suggestions for me. Please, guys. C'mon.

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  6. #4056
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Meddler View Post
    You're telling me what I shouldn't do rather than what I should do.
    What you should do, is not do what you've been doing.
    Quote Originally Posted by The Meddler View Post
    Because of the friendly people on xat. ;]
    There are plenty on chats with friendly people. This really isn't a reason.
    Once again, this is a hobby. As much as it is wrong to stay inside all the time, it is to stay outside all the time. It can get cold, and the inner city is full of, well, crime. When I'm inside, I don't dream of going back outside, this is one of the things I do. I know you think you've got me figured out, but considering just about everything you've said was wrong, you should stop trying to figure other people out and figure yourself out.
    These guys are actually being pretty nice to you. The fact of the matter is, all the things you've done about wanting to get women to join your chat makes you sound like a creep.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Meddler View Post
    because like I said, a more diverse commUNITY must have more women.
    There is more to diversity than gender.

    What you should do is stop trying to target specific groups of people and let the diversity come naturally. Even if everyone there is a "white man" they are still diverse.

  7. #4057
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    No wonder your xat doesn't have any women. Calling a woman you don't know by a pet name is creepy as hell. I wouldn't want to hang out with y'all either.

  8. #4058
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Meddler View Post
    You're telling me what I shouldn't do rather than what I should do.
    ...but isn't that the point of advice?

  9. #4059
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    If I had just waited another day or two the thread would've been banned from bumping and this wouldn't be going on, I feel partially responsible almost.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadly.Braviary View Post
    I suspect I may have a mild case of OCD. I've taken a few tests on the net which basically say that either I have it or I need to be tested further, and I've checked out some of the symptoms. I'll be honest: I show some symptoms of OCD, but not some others, and those others are the clinchers that tell you for sure you have OCD. Myself, I'm no psych major. I have no idea about what I may or may not have. I may have some other similar disorder, and not know it at all; I've only checked out OCD because it's something which has been featured prominently in popular culture at times. I've only confided in a few friends irl about my suspicions, and they think I should tell someone. I'd rather not tell my parents for various personal reasons. My school had a student counselor, and I was going to speak to her until I learnt she left the school a few weeks ago. I'm not a very independent person, so I'd rather not go ahead and take the initiative to do something like book a psychiatrist/psychologist (whichever would be appropriate) appointment. I need to talk to someone who'd understand. Teachers are out of the question - again, for various reasons.
    Well, just identifying with the symptoms doesn't always mean you do actually have it, but it's a good indicator. If you really think you do have it though, and show any other actions that might be OCD-like (I'd need more context to say if you might have it, but that might be digging to deep into your personal matters), going to someone or seeing someone about it would certainly be a good idea.
    It's possible you just have OCD-like tendencies, but not OCD itself maybe? I know lots of people with an OCD-like tedency/self-policies that certainly don't have OCD.
    Take it easy
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    I'm looking for an old piece of art I requested on here years ago and lost. It was a brown-haired girl with a pink wristband riding a Torterra. If you think you have this picture saved or have seen it somewhere please let me know and send it to me.

  10. #4060
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    Here's the deal. I am a woman, and I will not join your chat. Here's why. If you can't take advice from the horse's mouth, then I don't know how else to help you.

    1. I'm pretty sure you're a troll and you are just saying offensive things to get responses, but in case you aren't a troll, I think you need to know, from a woman, how you can improve your diversity.

    2. Everything that Sogeking and Moogles said is correct, whether you want to hear it or not. Your "invitation" to women to join your chat that you used to have in your sig is the Internet equivalent of a cat-call. NO woman with any dignity or self-respect will respond to it because it is presented in a very immature, misogynistic, creepy-as-hell way. I get a lot of cat-calls on the street. How many cars do you think I (or any other woman) get into with strange men because they cat-called me? Zero, that's how many. I don't want to join your chat for the same reasons that I don't want to get in a car with a creepy stranger.

    3. I have NEVER met a woman in my entire life who wants to be called pet names from someone on the Internet who she doesn't know. That's creepy. To me, that's a giant red flag that screams, "If you join this chat you will be valued for your boobs instead of for who you are as a person."

    4. Why do you have to have tryouts to join a chat? If you want people to join your chat, provide a link to it that says something like, "Want to talk outside of the forums? Come join our chat [here] where we talk about Pokemon and video games and other fun stuff! PM me to join!" Notice how this is done in a professional, non-offensive way and it is open to everyone. Women will be just as likely to click on it as men will.
    Last edited by varanus_komodoensis; 16th February 2014 at 10:32 PM.

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  11. #4061
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    So... another question (maybe two?)
        Spoiler:- Lots of stuff here:
    Take it easy
    "See you next summer..."
    (S2 is now!)
    I'm looking for an old piece of art I requested on here years ago and lost. It was a brown-haired girl with a pink wristband riding a Torterra. If you think you have this picture saved or have seen it somewhere please let me know and send it to me.

  12. #4062
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Meddler View Post
    I need some advice, actually. I own a xat called Un*tyUn*ted, a nice community and all of mostly Serebii members, but it seems as if the genders have become...imbalanced. There's more males than females on the xat and since I'm trying to build a robust and diverse community, I felt that there needed to be more women on the xat, so I've taken to trying to advertise through my sig, but is there any other way to even the genders out. (And ladies, feel free to join us on the xat, it's there for your pleasure)
    Just put a link in your sig that says "Join our chat to talk about [whatever]." You and your friends could invite some girls you know to join the site, too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadly.Braviary View Post
    I've taken a few tests on the net which basically say that either I have it or I need to be tested further, and I've checked out some of the symptoms.
    Here's some advice: stop self-diagnosing yourself and taking internet tests of all things. If you have a legit worry then tell your parents.
    Last edited by Vernikova; 17th February 2014 at 10:56 PM.

    Fighting for real American turtles everywhere. Pro-Turtle since 6/30/13

  13. #4063
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sceptile Master View Post
    So... another question (maybe two?)
        Spoiler:- Lots of stuff here:
    I'd suggest getting professional help. A doctor or maybe a counselor to help you deal with everything/figure out what's wrong. I think you're living in your head too much, which only causes more stress and more anxiety. I tend to get that way at times too, where I don't want to say anything just because I'm afraid to say something stupid. I find that taking a few deep breaths before a "scary" social situation (like a presentation for a class, or having a conversation with someone you might be nervous talking to) helps me to focus and feel a bit more relaxed. This won't help your crying, but might help your social awkwardness.

  14. #4064
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sceptile Master View Post
    So... another question (maybe two?)
        Spoiler:- Lots of stuff here:
    I was the same way. It is really awful. Maybe seeing a therapist would help? I want to say what it SEEMS like to me but I in no way have any qualifications to make any such suggestions.
    All I ask for is 100% pure honesty from my trading partner. Whether it be cloned or hacked is of no offense to me. I also may include a request for an item. A rule that will constantly stand is if my shiny is Kalos native but yours isn't, you may have to up the offer.

  15. #4065
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    I have a date tomorrow, and i have no idea how to act. Could anyone please provide me With some helpfull advice?

  16. #4066
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schade View Post
    I have a date tomorrow, and i have no idea how to act. Could anyone please provide me With some helpfull advice?
    Probably the thing you'll hear most is "be yourself", but that's also the most important thing. That may be hard if you're nervous, of course, but it depends on the situation. That would be the basic, number one rule, though. How well do you know the girl at all? If you give more detail about that, then it'll be easier to give you more specific advice.

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  17. #4067
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schade View Post
    I have a date tomorrow, and i have no idea how to act. Could anyone please provide me With some helpfull advice?
    Roseheart is right; we really need more information on how well you know this person, and whether you are male or female and if your date is male or female (or neither, or whatever). If it's someone that you don't know well and she (he? I'm just going to assume it's a girl) is traditional about dates, bring her some flowers. Obviously you must know something about her, so talk to her about what you know about her - her favorite classes, or her hobbies, for example. Tell her about yourself, too, and act interested in everything she has to say. Definitely don't dominate the conversation - let it be 50/50. Just be nice and polite. Don't say anything mean or unpleasant about anything or anyone, and say "please" and "thank you" and offer to pay for her and leave a nice tip for the waiter if you go out to dinner.

    And just remember - she obviously likes you, because she agreed to go out with you. So don't be too nervous.
    Last edited by varanus_komodoensis; 20th February 2014 at 6:43 PM.

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  18. #4068
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    i throw up or feel like throwing up every time i wake up

    my diet is normal

    what do

  19. #4069
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    Throw up some more.

    Fighting for real American turtles everywhere. Pro-Turtle since 6/30/13

  20. #4070
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Meddler View Post
    You're telling me what I shouldn't do rather than what I should do.
    First of all calling girls you don't know babydoll is a good way for them to not want to go to your Xat.

    Second why do you care so much about there being women there?

    Third you're valuing them for being female more then what they can bring to the chat.
    Also that KKK joke was not funny.
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  21. #4071
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magnegross View Post
    i throw up or feel like throwing up every time i wake up

    my diet is normal

    what do
    Going to see a doctor about it is probably your best option.

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  22. #4072
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    So I'm having an issue i hope some people can help me with...


    I know this person who's a bit young, and is kind of sensitive.

    ...And that is where the problem lies. She doesn't seem to get why I take serious issue with the fact that she tends to victimize herself or over react to the simplest of things when I tell her at the same time (perhaps fallaciously?) that people have different thresholds of sensitivity.


    Like for example, last night she got really upset (online) when me and my friends were having a caps war. It's just silly stuff, we were jokingly laughing at each other, in our own little group of friends. But she felt something from that and reacted to it saying "DON'T YELL AT HIM" when I really didn't care and actually enjoyed it when he caps his words like that. She does it even more when the fake caps of rage are directed at her, but at least THAT I could understand. Anyway, after talking with her last night about why that's bad, we have a little conversation today about the fact that I feel sick. She said that she feels sick like that all the time, and yet she doesn't "complain about it" (well she does but she meant it in the context of the fact that I didn't want to be on at all while I was sick). I then told her that people have different thresholds of tolerance and what they're willing to go through, and you shouldn't be judgmental about it. She then asked why do I (and many other people in the guild) take such issue with her being so "sensitive" when I clearly stated that I know (and therefore they probably know) that people have different thresholds of tolerance.


    She had to go after that, so we didn't get to continue the conversation, but I'm really not liking the situation I'm putting myself into here. How do I explain to her that that showing of hyper sensitivity is bad, and needs to at least be toned down a bit?

    I'm pretty sensitive myself, so I told her it's okay if things upset you, I just didn't want her to throw a hissy fit about it in the guild chat. But I'm unsure how to explain it at this point. How do I do so?


    Or am I wrong about this and should I adjust myself to her instead?
    When refering to learning..."In other words, groups are not where ideas are born. Groups are where ideas are evaluated."
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  23. #4073
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    stop talking to her, boot her out of the guild, ignore her are all valid options here
    life is
    a game

  24. #4074
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    Quote Originally Posted by moot View Post
    stop talking to her, boot her out of the guild, ignore her are all valid options here
    In my case, the only one thats even close to a valid option is Ignore her (when she gets like this). kjlfkjdf

    I'm a little to invested into this to do something like that. I don't even own the guild anyway and honestly, when she's not over-reacting she's fine (she's gotten better at it at least...). >3> <3<

    I would rather fix her or teach her the error of her ways >3> But I guess that IS valid advice...ugh. Not one I like doe.
    When refering to learning..."In other words, groups are not where ideas are born. Groups are where ideas are evaluated."
    My eyes! (my eyes!) are filled with curiosity! You think! (You think!) that you have power over me! In this life! (This life!) There’s no room for you and me! So turn around and face the day with me!
    Such a sexy song. Urgh.

  25. #4075
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmphaticPikachu View Post
    I would rather fix her
    lol
    life is
    a game

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