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Thread: The Advice Thread - "What should I do about this weird mole growing on my back"

  1. #4076
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    Quote Originally Posted by moot View Post
    lol
    I'm not even sure why you're laughing at me but whatever.
    When refering to learning..."In other words, groups are not where ideas are born. Groups are where ideas are evaluated."
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  2. #4077
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    You can't fix people who don't want to be fixed, man. And it's not your job to "fix" someone. How often does she overreact and bug people? Sone people just don'tmesh well with the rest of the guild. And if that's the case, gkick'ing her is definitely a viable option. Nothing personal, just some people aren't a good fit. If you don't want to be the bad guy (and/or don't want to talk the GM or an Officer into being the bad guy) put her on ignore. Those are kind of your two options.

  3. #4078
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    You can't fix people who don't want to be fixed, man. And it's not your job to "fix" someone. How often does she overreact and bug people? Sone people just don'tmesh well with the rest of the guild. And if that's the case, gkick'ing her is definitely a viable option. Nothing personal, just some people aren't a good fit. If you don't want to be the bad guy (and/or don't want to talk the GM or an Officer into being the bad guy) put her on ignore. Those are kind of your two options.
    Looking at my post, I don't think I said it was my "job" to fix her, and if I implied it I'm very sorry. sdjkjsfkjds

    But I do have a preference for how I like to do things, since I'm a little "too" helpful sometimes. Throwing them under the bus and telling them to go away is not how I want to do it (which is what I feel like I'm doing if I guild kick her), but I will ask her if she feels too unconformable there and wants to leave. There are times where I know she feels alienated by the talks about competitive gaming that she just doesn't get. (This is an elsword guild not a pokemon guild, so the competitive aspect isn't as intertwined as it is in pokemon guilds.) but otherwise...She communicates fine with us when she's not over reacting.

    I don't think it's the most frustrating thing in the world (Like we COULD deal with it), but she still does it. And it breaks the atmosphere when she does...

    I'm not sure though, when is it too much? Part of why I'm here I guess. I just don't know...Is it really all feeling based? If it "feels" like to much, we should do so and kick her?
    When refering to learning..."In other words, groups are not where ideas are born. Groups are where ideas are evaluated."
    My eyes! (my eyes!) are filled with curiosity! You think! (You think!) that you have power over me! In this life! (This life!) There’s no room for you and me! So turn around and face the day with me!
    Such a sexy song. Urgh.

  4. #4079
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    she also has preferences for how she likes to do things, which is why you can't 'fix' someone like this. if you want to not sever from them about the best you can do is have serious words with them about how they're acting. this would be most effective obviously if you aren't the only one who feels this way
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  5. #4080
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    Ok, so I've got a sleep problem, a pretty specific one. The problem is that I'm really, really self-aware, and recently, every time I start falling asleep, I think, oh, I'm falling asleep now, and it wakes me back up. And then I'm like waiting to fall asleep... It's not a problem with sleep hygiene or anything like that, because I haven't changed anything. Apparently this is pretty common. Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, do you know what to do about it?
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  6. #4081

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hakajin View Post
    Ok, so I've got a sleep problem, a pretty specific one. The problem is that I'm really, really self-aware, and recently, every time I start falling asleep, I think, oh, I'm falling asleep now, and it wakes me back up. And then I'm like waiting to fall asleep... It's not a problem with sleep hygiene or anything like that, because I haven't changed anything. Apparently this is pretty common. Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, do you know what to do about it?
    I have this problem sometimes. I just try to make a story in my head and keep it going until I fall asleep. Usually, I wake up and don't remember where my story left off so it gives me the chance to use it again the next night. hope this helps.

  7. #4082
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    Quote Originally Posted by 好きなぼうし View Post
    I have this problem sometimes. I just try to make a story in my head and keep it going until I fall asleep. Usually, I wake up and don't remember where my story left off so it gives me the chance to use it again the next night. hope this helps.
    Yeah, that's what I've always done, and I've been trying to keep doing it, but I still tend to jump into thinking about sleeping... what I've been trying to do is force myself back into the story. Seemed to work the other night... anyway, thanks!

    EDIT: I've since found that it helps to go to bed earlier, because then I'm not worried about how long I have to sleep.
    Last edited by Hakajin; 24th March 2014 at 11:57 PM.
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  8. #4083
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    So, I've got to get my wisdom teeth removed soon, no other options. The trouble is, I literally cannot get any sort of injection/vaccination without sobbing and panicking because of the needle, and it requires me to have an IV. My other option is to do it at he hospital, a place that freaks me out, and have them use the gas to knock me out and then use an IV, plus the idea of having teeth ripped out of my mouth is horrible. I just flat-out panic when it's brought up (I started sobbing when I had to discuss it with the dentist), and just typing about it is freaking me out. Does anyone who's gone through it/have the same fears have any advice for calming down and not flipping out when it's mentioned?
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  9. #4084
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    Quote Originally Posted by Archsage View Post
    So, I've got to get my wisdom teeth removed soon, no other options. The trouble is, I literally cannot get any sort of injection/vaccination without sobbing and panicking because of the needle, and it requires me to have an IV. My other option is to do it at he hospital, a place that freaks me out, and have them use the gas to knock me out and then use an IV, plus the idea of having teeth ripped out of my mouth is horrible. I just flat-out panic when it's brought up (I started sobbing when I had to discuss it with the dentist), and just typing about it is freaking me out. Does anyone who's gone through it/have the same fears have any advice for calming down and not flipping out when it's mentioned?
    I had my wisdom teeth removed shortly after I became an adult. I was put under anesthesia for the procedure. You won't feel anything until after you wake back up. You will get sent home with pain medication or at least I was. Try just slowing breathing in and out to calm down. It might help if you don't look at the needle when they are about to poke you.
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  10. #4085
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    Quote Originally Posted by Archsage View Post
    So, I've got to get my wisdom teeth removed soon, no other options. The trouble is, I literally cannot get any sort of injection/vaccination without sobbing and panicking because of the needle, and it requires me to have an IV. My other option is to do it at he hospital, a place that freaks me out, and have them use the gas to knock me out and then use an IV, plus the idea of having teeth ripped out of my mouth is horrible. I just flat-out panic when it's brought up (I started sobbing when I had to discuss it with the dentist), and just typing about it is freaking me out. Does anyone who's gone through it/have the same fears have any advice for calming down and not flipping out when it's mentioned?
    If you can find an oral surgeon who is better at dealing with people who are afraid of needles that would probably help. That's what I had to do and it did help a lot. The person who is performing the surgery can really make a difference if they are good at keeping patients calm. It's something down to luck however, since location and possibly insurance can limit options.

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  11. #4086
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    I'm new to the site, and I want to post on things, I just can't think of anything. I feel that no matter what I post it won't add anything to the topic because my posts are so short. What should I do about this? Did anyone else have this problem when they were new? Thanks.

  12. #4087
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glaceon2000 View Post
    I'm new to the site, and I want to post on things, I just can't think of anything. I feel that no matter what I post it won't add anything to the topic because my posts are so short. What should I do about this? Did anyone else have this problem when they were new? Thanks.
    Yeah, I lurked forever before I finally got up the nerve to post, because I didn't want to sound like a total noob.
    The best way to get over this is to just post! If you are worried about your posts being to short, try to set a goal, like two lines written. Hitting the "Reply with Quote" button helps, because then you can respond to a person's post or talk about it more.
    If you are shy and don't want to do that, then you can post in a really popular thread, one that has a lot of replies, and it won't stand out. Try being interesting and make new points, or at least embellish the points you are making.
    Also, post about what interests you. Find something you really like and frequent that forum.

  13. #4088
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonair7 View Post
    Yeah, I lurked forever before I finally got up the nerve to post, because I didn't want to sound like a total noob.
    The best way to get over this is to just post! If you are worried about your posts being to short, try to set a goal, like two lines written. Hitting the "Reply with Quote" button helps, because then you can respond to a person's post or talk about it more.
    If you are shy and don't want to do that, then you can post in a really popular thread, one that has a lot of replies, and it won't stand out. Try being interesting and make new points, or at least embellish the points you are making.
    Also, post about what interests you. Find something you really like and frequent that forum.
    I lurked for a while too, I didn't know that posting would be so hard. I always thought of all the things I would say when I joined, but for some reason I can't now. I'll get used to it though, thank you for your advice

  14. #4089
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    Man, I've been coming here a lot.
    So, this time though [to try and keep it short anyway]: One of my bud's birthdays is coming up next weekend. I don't appear to be as close to him as some of his other friends, but lately he's become [at least in my eyes] a pretty good friend of mine, and I think he deserves something, I dunno. But I really have no idea what to give him: I know a good amount of the stuff he likes, but I couldn't think of anything in time that wouldn't really seem tacky or childish to give him, even if he would like it. I'm not sure if there's anything else I could buy for him in time that'd make it here in time, so all I can really think of is a prepaid Visa card or something (which I'm sure he'd still appreciate).
    Not sure if that sounds like a good idea or not, but... how would I present it? Him, me, and a bunch of friends have our club the day before his birthday at school so we're planning to do a little something for him, and I'd figure since he hasn't mentioned anything about doing anything at his house, I'd give him it there. It is true, I do kinda like him a bit, so I can't really say I want to present the gift in a way that'd "give people the wrong idea" ; after all, that's basically almost how I feel. But, even if it is just a giftcard, I don't want to present it in a way that would probably give him or people hints? (I don't think it's the right time to approach him about that yet.) I kinda don't want to get him a formal card either since that might seem, well, too forma [or give off hints] so unless I make a silly one myself or something [which he'd be the kind of person to probably be okay with it], I dunno what to do to.

    tl;dr : Friend's birthday next weekend, need to give him present [giftcard?] in school ; want to present it in a way that shows I cared and didn't just pick this because I was lazy, but not in a way that gives off any hints.

    Forgive me for the wall of text, and if that didn't make sense.
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  15. #4090
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sceptile Master View Post
    Man, I've been coming here a lot.
    So, this time though [to try and keep it short anyway]: One of my bud's birthdays is coming up next weekend. I don't appear to be as close to him as some of his other friends, but lately he's become [at least in my eyes] a pretty good friend of mine, and I think he deserves something, I dunno. But I really have no idea what to give him: I know a good amount of the stuff he likes, but I couldn't think of anything in time that wouldn't really seem tacky or childish to give him, even if he would like it. I'm not sure if there's anything else I could buy for him in time that'd make it here in time, so all I can really think of is a prepaid Visa card or something (which I'm sure he'd still appreciate).
    Not sure if that sounds like a good idea or not, but... how would I present it? Him, me, and a bunch of friends have our club the day before his birthday at school so we're planning to do a little something for him, and I'd figure since he hasn't mentioned anything about doing anything at his house, I'd give him it there. It is true, I do kinda like him a bit, so I can't really say I want to present the gift in a way that'd "give people the wrong idea" ; after all, that's basically almost how I feel. But, even if it is just a giftcard, I don't want to present it in a way that would probably give him or people hints? (I don't think it's the right time to approach him about that yet.) I kinda don't want to get him a formal card either since that might seem, well, too forma [or give off hints] so unless I make a silly one myself or something [which he'd be the kind of person to probably be okay with it], I dunno what to do to.

    tl;dr : Friend's birthday next weekend, need to give him present [giftcard?] in school ; want to present it in a way that shows I cared and didn't just pick this because I was lazy, but not in a way that gives off any hints.

    Forgive me for the wall of text, and if that didn't make sense.
    One thing I've learned recently regarding this kind of thing, is not to over-think it. If you think a giftcard's the best bet, then go with it, and just giving it at the gathering seems fair enough. The other person probably won't read as much into anything as you are thinking about it.

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  16. #4091
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sceptile Master View Post
    tl;dr : Friend's birthday next weekend, need to give him present [giftcard?] in school ; want to present it in a way that shows I cared and didn't just pick this because I was lazy, but not in a way that gives off any hints.
    Just give him money. It's the best present you can give someone that you're not in a relationship with. Give it to them in an envelope.

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  17. #4092
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vernikova View Post
    Just give him money. It's the best present you can give someone that you're not in a relationship with. Give it to them in an envelope.
    However, money does seem quite like you don't know what to get them. I'd say a giftcard is a step up from that, to be honest. Although, as far as I can tell from my male friends, giving each other money is quite common, and doesn't necessarily mean you're not close - it's just a male way of doing things (at least for them).

    Don't know, just throwing some more info/opinion out there.

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  18. #4093
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roseheart95 View Post
    However, money does seem quite like you don't know what to get them. I'd say a giftcard is a step up from that, to be honest. Although, as far as I can tell from my male friends, giving each other money is quite common, and doesn't necessarily mean you're not close - it's just a male way of doing things (at least for them).

    Don't know, just throwing some more info/opinion out there.
    I think money gives more flexibility than gift cards, and it's something I've seen both genders give to their friends. What if the guy gives them a bad gift card? Then it's useless. No one's ever been mad that they got free money after all.

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  19. #4094
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    ^ In that case... would a prepaid Visa card be more akin to money or a giftcard? I mean, it is money, only he can use it online if he wanted, and it's more like finite a credit/debit card than straight up cash (only I have to pay an extra $3-ish of the amount to get it, but you get the idea).
    Does $25 sound like a good amount, or should I go for $50? I know $25 is technically not a lot and basically the minimum I can get of that kind of prepaid card, but I don't have a regular job [I babysit on the rare occasion sometimes]. And I'm not gonna give out my exact amount of money I own, but... let's just say it's less than $80 at the moment. I hate to sound greedy too, but I never know whether something is gonna come up [something important, or just something I want], and with no income it's kinda a tough choice for me.
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  20. #4095
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    I've got a need for some low priority advice.

    I like music and am hoping to write music and play live with others. I play guitar and bass and can play kyboards one handed. But I kind of don't have the financial security to invest in a (small) concert set up for playing live or even really practicing. Insturments are of low quality and I don't have anyway of getting the volume I need. So I am saving up money to get that. But the thing is I probably can't afford to get a setup for both guitar and bass in a short period of time.

    This means I am going to have to prioritize which instrument I want to focus on. I am not particularly awesome at either instrument at the moment, so I am having a hard time choosing. I am mostly a rythym guitar player. I probably need to consider which insturment other people would want me to play in a band as well.

    So any reasons why I should focus on one or the other?

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  21. #4096
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    If it comes down to guitar or bass and you're interested in being in a band I would say bass because good and dedicated bass players are few and far between. Everyone wants to be the star guitarrist. A good bassist without an unmanageable ego will always be in demand somewhere. Bass also takes less time to get decently good at than guitar, so you'll be able to play with others faster and get more experience. But ultimately it comes down to the instrument you most want to play; if you're going to play music do it the way you like.

  22. #4097
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sceptile Master View Post
    ^ In that case... would a prepaid Visa card be more akin to money or a giftcard? I mean, it is money, only he can use it online if he wanted, and it's more like finite a credit/debit card than straight up cash (only I have to pay an extra $3-ish of the amount to get it, but you get the idea).
    Does $25 sound like a good amount, or should I go for $50? I know $25 is technically not a lot and basically the minimum I can get of that kind of prepaid card, but I don't have a regular job [I babysit on the rare occasion sometimes]. And I'm not gonna give out my exact amount of money I own, but... let's just say it's less than $80 at the moment. I hate to sound greedy too, but I never know whether something is gonna come up [something important, or just something I want], and with no income it's kinda a tough choice for me.
    I suppose it would be better. Anyway, give them whatever you can afford ti give away. No need to make yourself broke over a birthday present.

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  23. #4098
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zazie View Post
    I've got a need for some low priority advice.

    I like music and am hoping to write music and play live with others. I play guitar and bass and can play kyboards one handed. But I kind of don't have the financial security to invest in a (small) concert set up for playing live or even really practicing. Insturments are of low quality and I don't have anyway of getting the volume I need. So I am saving up money to get that. But the thing is I probably can't afford to get a setup for both guitar and bass in a short period of time.

    This means I am going to have to prioritize which instrument I want to focus on. I am not particularly awesome at either instrument at the moment, so I am having a hard time choosing. I am mostly a rythym guitar player. I probably need to consider which insturment other people would want me to play in a band as well.

    So any reasons why I should focus on one or the other?
    I would probably suggest the bass just due to the fact that there aren't as many bass players around. With guitar, there is quite a bit of competition, and while it's not impossible, it's easier to break through the mold with bass. Everybody wants to play guitar, but bass is an extremely important component of any band.
    even if we don't understand each other, that's not a reason to reject each other. There are two sides to any argument. Is there one point of view that has all the answers? Give it some thought.
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  24. #4099
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    Yeah, I am thinking the less bass players thing is probably good reason to look towards getting a better bass as the higher priority.

    Thanks for the advice.

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  25. #4100
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    No idea if anyone knows anything about this, but I'm trying to help a really good friend of mine promote his Youtube channel, but I feel like I am doing a really bad job of it, since it isn't working very well. Anyone know what I can do to improve that?


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