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  1. #4151
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    Okay, so I have a problem, and I'm basically here to see if its something actually worth worrying about, or if I'm just overreacting.

    Basically, I've had this thing for a few years now. I don't really know what to call them besides mood swings. One week I'll be fine and mostly happy, and then it will abruptly change, and I'll be extremely depressed and feeling hopeless. I can't stress how abrupt these feelings are. After a day of feeling perfectly fine, I'll wake up feeling worthless/ helpless. These feelings become extremely overwhelming, and, after a while, I'll develop this sort of empty feeling where (I can't really describe it) I'll become kinda void of emotions and become extremely tired and fatigued. Then, the next morning, it'll all be gone and I'll feel fine. But it always comes back. About 3 years ago, it was so overwhelming that I started to self-harm.

    So basically, what I'm asking is if this is something I have to worry about. Is it just part of being a teenager? Am I overreacting? I want to be sure its something serious before I go speak to my parents or a counselor. I don't want to trouble them if it turns out to be something normal. Any help or advice is extremely appreciated.
    "And the salt in my wounds isn't burning anymore than it used to. It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore. "- Paramore<3

  2. #4152
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    i don't want to say it's abnormal because that sort of stuff affects a lot of teenagers, but it's definitely not healthy. you should really go and see a doctor but it sounds to me like you might have something like bipolar disorder, where you alternate between manic (or hypomanic) and depressive episodes. there's no shame in going to see a professional about this stuff and doing so can get you on meds or therapy that can legitimately improve your mental health so please actually do it
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  3. #4153
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    Quote Originally Posted by caterpie_is_awesome_123 View Post
    Okay, so I have a problem, and I'm basically here to see if its something actually worth worrying about, or if I'm just overreacting.

    Basically, I've had this thing for a few years now. I don't really know what to call them besides mood swings. One week I'll be fine and mostly happy, and then it will abruptly change, and I'll be extremely depressed and feeling hopeless. I can't stress how abrupt these feelings are. After a day of feeling perfectly fine, I'll wake up feeling worthless/ helpless. These feelings become extremely overwhelming, and, after a while, I'll develop this sort of empty feeling where (I can't really describe it) I'll become kinda void of emotions and become extremely tired and fatigued. Then, the next morning, it'll all be gone and I'll feel fine. But it always comes back. About 3 years ago, it was so overwhelming that I started to self-harm.

    So basically, what I'm asking is if this is something I have to worry about. Is it just part of being a teenager? Am I overreacting? I want to be sure its something serious before I go speak to my parents or a counselor. I don't want to trouble them if it turns out to be something normal. Any help or advice is extremely appreciated.
    Definitely go and see somebody, as moot said. Especially since you started to self-harm because of it. It takes a lot of courage trying to explain it all to somebody (I've been there), so try to avoid coming up with excuses not to go if you think you're likely to chicken out at all. I'd go and speak to your parents first, and then a counselor, regardless of what your parents say (since there's a chance they may not believe you, or think you're overreacting - but you still need to let them know how you're feeling). Maybe try and outline which points exactly you want to get across, so that you can express what you think is going on fully. Good luck!

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  4. #4154
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    I have the same problem only it is easier to predict with me. for me each bout only lasts about a week. I gave each of my "personalities" an name. Crash and Charm. If you are inflicting self harm see someone otherwise try to find patterns in the swings like when they occur or how you feel afterwards.

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  5. #4155
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    Quote Originally Posted by caterpie_is_awesome_123 View Post
    Okay, so I have a problem, and I'm basically here to see if its something actually worth worrying about, or if I'm just overreacting.

    Basically, I've had this thing for a few years now. I don't really know what to call them besides mood swings. One week I'll be fine and mostly happy, and then it will abruptly change, and I'll be extremely depressed and feeling hopeless. I can't stress how abrupt these feelings are. After a day of feeling perfectly fine, I'll wake up feeling worthless/ helpless. These feelings become extremely overwhelming, and, after a while, I'll develop this sort of empty feeling where (I can't really describe it) I'll become kinda void of emotions and become extremely tired and fatigued. Then, the next morning, it'll all be gone and I'll feel fine. But it always comes back. About 3 years ago, it was so overwhelming that I started to self-harm.

    So basically, what I'm asking is if this is something I have to worry about. Is it just part of being a teenager? Am I overreacting? I want to be sure its something serious before I go speak to my parents or a counselor. I don't want to trouble them if it turns out to be something normal. Any help or advice is extremely appreciated.
    Mood swings are common in most people that alone would be no room for concern, since you've mentioned self harming or even contemplating it though I highly recommend you see someone, even if it turns out to be nothing its better to get it out in the open then let the feelings you have build up inside of you to the point where that's the way you feel you need to release them. I'm pretty certain if you talk to someone saying what you have here they won't consider you wasting their time, there's no shame at all in asking for help, we all need it in one way or another.
    Last edited by Teebu; 19th May 2014 at 1:17 PM.

  6. #4156
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    Quote Originally Posted by caterpie_is_awesome_123 View Post
    Okay, so I have a problem, and I'm basically here to see if its something actually worth worrying about, or if I'm just overreacting.

    Basically, I've had this thing for a few years now. I don't really know what to call them besides mood swings. One week I'll be fine and mostly happy, and then it will abruptly change, and I'll be extremely depressed and feeling hopeless. I can't stress how abrupt these feelings are. After a day of feeling perfectly fine, I'll wake up feeling worthless/ helpless. These feelings become extremely overwhelming, and, after a while, I'll develop this sort of empty feeling where (I can't really describe it) I'll become kinda void of emotions and become extremely tired and fatigued. Then, the next morning, it'll all be gone and I'll feel fine. But it always comes back. About 3 years ago, it was so overwhelming that I started to self-harm.

    So basically, what I'm asking is if this is something I have to worry about. Is it just part of being a teenager? Am I overreacting? I want to be sure its something serious before I go speak to my parents or a counselor. I don't want to trouble them if it turns out to be something normal. Any help or advice is extremely appreciated.
    If you're self harming it's pretty serious. Go get help as soon as possible. You will NOT be bothering them, its what a psychologist does.

    Side Note: Never worry about bother someone for help. Sometimes you need to ask for help. I know this from personal experience. I used to be very closed off and literally never talk about my feelings when I'm depressed and I developed a nasty panic and anxiety disorder and the second it got bad, I went and got help. You should get help for these mood swings because they sound rather serious.

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  7. #4157
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    Thanks for the help everyone. I'm seriously considering telling someone, but my only problem is figuring out who to tell. I really don't want to tell my parents. When it comes to stuff like this, they tend to become very mean. Like when they found out about my self-harm they sort of threatened me to stop and it was kinda traumatizing. I hope they'll take a nicer stance this time.
    "And the salt in my wounds isn't burning anymore than it used to. It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore. "- Paramore<3

  8. #4158
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    are you in school? my college, as well as most other colleges, have safe places you can go to talk to people about those types of things and they can maybe help you with getting therapy or something if that is going to be the best option for you. i would try that before going to your parents if your parents aren't very understanding about this type of thing.

    be sure to read the rules of every section before posting ;)

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  9. #4159
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    also your profile says you're 20, so if you're not at school you could just go to a doctor without telling anyone
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  10. #4160
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    Quote Originally Posted by moot View Post
    also your profile says you're 20, so if you're not at school you could just go to a doctor without telling anyone
    I'm 16; I put that back when I made this account and assumed this forum had an age restriction

    Quote Originally Posted by Ellie View Post
    are you in school? my college, as well as most other colleges, have safe places you can go to talk to people about those types of things and they can maybe help you with getting therapy or something if that is going to be the best option for you. i would try that before going to your parents if your parents aren't very understanding about this type of thing.
    My school unfortunately has no support groups, but that does sound like a great idea. I'll probably look for some in my local library/community center. Thanks for the help.
    "And the salt in my wounds isn't burning anymore than it used to. It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore. "- Paramore<3

  11. #4161
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    if you're in high school they often have a guidance counselor that you can talk to. but the community center sounds like a good idea too.

    be sure to read the rules of every section before posting ;)

    Little Miss Stalinist/Secret Al-Qaeda agents (i.e. Ellie) would be a ***** even if she was a conserative republican. What makes her the way she is happens to be the fact that the webmaster of this site let's her behave like this. (Of course, I would never make a liberal a staff member at any forum I'd be in charge of, regardless.)
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  12. #4162
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    Quote Originally Posted by caterpie_is_awesome_123 View Post
    So basically, what I'm asking is if this is something I have to worry about. Is it just part of being a teenager? Am I overreacting? I want to be sure its something serious before I go speak to my parents or a counselor. I don't want to trouble them if it turns out to be something normal.
    People who care about your well-being should be able to hear you out regardless of if you think you're overreacting or not. Besides, if you have any doubts about how you feel, it's always a good idea to talk to someone. Not even necessarily your parents first, but a teacher or even a friend.
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  13. #4163
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    Quote Originally Posted by caterpie_is_awesome_123 View Post
    Thanks for the help everyone. I'm seriously considering telling someone, but my only problem is figuring out who to tell. I really don't want to tell my parents. When it comes to stuff like this, they tend to become very mean. Like when they found out about my self-harm they sort of threatened me to stop and it was kinda traumatizing. I hope they'll take a nicer stance this time.
    In situations such as yours I think you're far better off talking to a professional than your parents, by all means tell them you aren't happy with your situation but at the end of the day, unless they are trained in that field, they are no more aware if what you are going through as you are. The professionals are educated & experienced to help people exactly when they go through what you are.

  14. #4164
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    So I don't normally post here looking for advice, but I'm kind of at the end of my rope and I'm not sure what to do anymore.

    I'll try to keep it brief, but no promises. So about two months ago or so, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost four years. There were a lot of reasons for this that I won't get into here, but the last straw was when I spent a weekend visiting my best friend and he got jealous and angry. He said a lot of really hurtful (and untrue) things, suggested I sleep with a random stranger, and said that he thought we should "take a break." So I dumped him because I don't play mind games like that. I am 100% positive his actions where with the intent to get me to feel guilty and beg him for forgiveness, but it didn't work out that way because I have more self-esteem than that now. He made a lot of (bullshit) excuses and said a lot of things that made zero sense. So I made it very clear early on that the relationship was over and that I was done dealing with this kind of thing (he's done a lot of borderline emotionally abusive/manipulative things in the past that I let slide because I was dumb). He texted me constantly (like, long 20-text long rants/explanations/etc) saying he made a mistake and asking if we could talk it out, etc. I told him that I said everything I had to say and that I didn't think there was anything more to talk about. So he continued to text me. Sometimes they were love-dovey I-can't-live-without-you drivel and sometimes they were more angry, calling me childish and disrespectful for not texting him back, etc. He has deluded himself into believing that my best friend and my mom talked me into breaking up with him (not true at all as they were not involved) and that I still have feelings for him (also not true because the only feeling I have for him now is annoyance).

    Eventually, it got so bad that he was texting me incessantly while I was at work and getting angry that I wasn't texting back fast enough so I threatened to have my cell number changed if he didn't stop bothering me. So he stopped for a while. It seems like he stops for a few days to a week at a time, and then he texts me again out of the blue when I think he's finally done. I have been ignoring his texts because even if I text back with simply "I'm at work" or "I have nothing to say to you" he tells our mutual friends that me responding to him at all means that I am madly in love with him (no joke). I am just seriously tired of being harassed weekly and not having my decision respected. I understand that I completely shattered his heart and all, but I've also made it very clear that I am moving forward with my life and have absolutely no intention of taking him back. He just will not let it go. I've blocked him on Skype and Facebook. I feel like my only option to completely cut off his communication with me is to get my cell number changed, but the only problem with that is that I have some job applications out that have that number on them and I don't want to miss any job opportunities because I had to change my number. I don't know if I should take the potential loss of opportunities in favor of peace of mind or not. A friend suggested I send him a cease and desist letter, but I don't know if that would have an legal bearing and I'm worried that he'll read into as me still being in love with him because I contacted him at all.

    Which brings me to my current predicament(s). Today is my birthday (woo...) and some of our mutual friends have warned me that he told them he shipped me a gift (even though they told him repeatedly not to because it was definitely a bad idea). I have no idea what it is as it hasn't gotten here yet. And I have no idea what to do with it once it gets here... My mom suggested I send it back unopened, but I'm worried that by sending it back he might see it as "communication" of some sort (and thereby continue believing I have feelings for him). Someone else suggested I open it, throw away anything personal (cards, letters, pictures, etc) that might be in it unopened, and donate the rest of the items if there are any. So I don't know if I should send it back when it gets here or just toss it in the trash? Because if I send it back, I can see him seeing it as "communication" that I love him but I'm also not going to text him and tell him that I threw it away if I do that because that is communication and I now know how he reads that. I also have some of his clothes that he left here and I don't know if I should ship them back to him (he hasn't asked for them back, though...) or just donate them to Goodwill. I'm kind of tempted to do the latter because I don't want any correspondence with him at all.

    TL;DR How 2 deal w/ delusional manchild. Plz halp.

  15. #4165
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    So I don't normally post here looking for advice, but I'm kind of at the end of my rope and I'm not sure what to do anymore.

    I'll try to keep it brief, but no promises. So about two months ago or so, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost four years. There were a lot of reasons for this that I won't get into here, but the last straw was when I spent a weekend visiting my best friend and he got jealous and angry. He said a lot of really hurtful (and untrue) things, suggested I sleep with a random stranger, and said that he thought we should "take a break." So I dumped him because I don't play mind games like that. I am 100% positive his actions where with the intent to get me to feel guilty and beg him for forgiveness, but it didn't work out that way because I have more self-esteem than that now. He made a lot of (bullshit) excuses and said a lot of things that made zero sense. So I made it very clear early on that the relationship was over and that I was done dealing with this kind of thing (he's done a lot of borderline emotionally abusive/manipulative things in the past that I let slide because I was dumb). He texted me constantly (like, long 20-text long rants/explanations/etc) saying he made a mistake and asking if we could talk it out, etc. I told him that I said everything I had to say and that I didn't think there was anything more to talk about. So he continued to text me. Sometimes they were love-dovey I-can't-live-without-you drivel and sometimes they were more angry, calling me childish and disrespectful for not texting him back, etc. He has deluded himself into believing that my best friend and my mom talked me into breaking up with him (not true at all as they were not involved) and that I still have feelings for him (also not true because the only feeling I have for him now is annoyance).

    Eventually, it got so bad that he was texting me incessantly while I was at work and getting angry that I wasn't texting back fast enough so I threatened to have my cell number changed if he didn't stop bothering me. So he stopped for a while. It seems like he stops for a few days to a week at a time, and then he texts me again out of the blue when I think he's finally done. I have been ignoring his texts because even if I text back with simply "I'm at work" or "I have nothing to say to you" he tells our mutual friends that me responding to him at all means that I am madly in love with him (no joke). I am just seriously tired of being harassed weekly and not having my decision respected. I understand that I completely shattered his heart and all, but I've also made it very clear that I am moving forward with my life and have absolutely no intention of taking him back. He just will not let it go. I've blocked him on Skype and Facebook. I feel like my only option to completely cut off his communication with me is to get my cell number changed, but the only problem with that is that I have some job applications out that have that number on them and I don't want to miss any job opportunities because I had to change my number. I don't know if I should take the potential loss of opportunities in favor of peace of mind or not. A friend suggested I send him a cease and desist letter, but I don't know if that would have an legal bearing and I'm worried that he'll read into as me still being in love with him because I contacted him at all.

    Which brings me to my current predicament(s). Today is my birthday (woo...) and some of our mutual friends have warned me that he told them he shipped me a gift (even though they told him repeatedly not to because it was definitely a bad idea). I have no idea what it is as it hasn't gotten here yet. And I have no idea what to do with it once it gets here... My mom suggested I send it back unopened, but I'm worried that by sending it back he might see it as "communication" of some sort (and thereby continue believing I have feelings for him). Someone else suggested I open it, throw away anything personal (cards, letters, pictures, etc) that might be in it unopened, and donate the rest of the items if there are any. So I don't know if I should send it back when it gets here or just toss it in the trash? Because if I send it back, I can see him seeing it as "communication" that I love him but I'm also not going to text him and tell him that I threw it away if I do that because that is communication and I now know how he reads that. I also have some of his clothes that he left here and I don't know if I should ship them back to him (he hasn't asked for them back, though...) or just donate them to Goodwill. I'm kind of tempted to do the latter because I don't want any correspondence with him at all.

    TL;DR How 2 deal w/ delusional manchild. Plz halp.
    First of all, I'm sorry to hear your relationship ended that way after being together for so long, but it sounds like you made the right decision.

    Anyways, I think you should change your phone number and try to get the job applications on your new number, so you still see everything you want to see. Is that possible? Sorry, I don't really know much about this stuff. And even if it's not possible, peace in your mind would still be more important, I think. Money earned by having a job is useful, but money can't buy happiness.

    And if I were you, I would open the gift and donate it to charity shops. With the clothes he left in your house, I think you should do the same. You definitely don't want to keep them, and sending them back will give him the wrong idea. That way, the gift and clothes will get a good destination, and you don't need to make any contact with him.

    Also, if your ex knows your address, did he try visiting you against your will yet? I really hope he won't do that...

  16. #4166
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    So I don't normally post here looking for advice, but I'm kind of at the end of my rope and I'm not sure what to do anymore.

    I'll try to keep it brief, but no promises. So about two months ago or so, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost four years. There were a lot of reasons for this that I won't get into here, but the last straw was when I spent a weekend visiting my best friend and he got jealous and angry. He said a lot of really hurtful (and untrue) things, suggested I sleep with a random stranger, and said that he thought we should "take a break." So I dumped him because I don't play mind games like that. I am 100% positive his actions where with the intent to get me to feel guilty and beg him for forgiveness, but it didn't work out that way because I have more self-esteem than that now. He made a lot of (bullshit) excuses and said a lot of things that made zero sense. So I made it very clear early on that the relationship was over and that I was done dealing with this kind of thing (he's done a lot of borderline emotionally abusive/manipulative things in the past that I let slide because I was dumb). He texted me constantly (like, long 20-text long rants/explanations/etc) saying he made a mistake and asking if we could talk it out, etc. I told him that I said everything I had to say and that I didn't think there was anything more to talk about. So he continued to text me. Sometimes they were love-dovey I-can't-live-without-you drivel and sometimes they were more angry, calling me childish and disrespectful for not texting him back, etc. He has deluded himself into believing that my best friend and my mom talked me into breaking up with him (not true at all as they were not involved) and that I still have feelings for him (also not true because the only feeling I have for him now is annoyance).

    Eventually, it got so bad that he was texting me incessantly while I was at work and getting angry that I wasn't texting back fast enough so I threatened to have my cell number changed if he didn't stop bothering me. So he stopped for a while. It seems like he stops for a few days to a week at a time, and then he texts me again out of the blue when I think he's finally done. I have been ignoring his texts because even if I text back with simply "I'm at work" or "I have nothing to say to you" he tells our mutual friends that me responding to him at all means that I am madly in love with him (no joke). I am just seriously tired of being harassed weekly and not having my decision respected. I understand that I completely shattered his heart and all, but I've also made it very clear that I am moving forward with my life and have absolutely no intention of taking him back. He just will not let it go. I've blocked him on Skype and Facebook. I feel like my only option to completely cut off his communication with me is to get my cell number changed, but the only problem with that is that I have some job applications out that have that number on them and I don't want to miss any job opportunities because I had to change my number. I don't know if I should take the potential loss of opportunities in favor of peace of mind or not. A friend suggested I send him a cease and desist letter, but I don't know if that would have an legal bearing and I'm worried that he'll read into as me still being in love with him because I contacted him at all.

    Which brings me to my current predicament(s). Today is my birthday (woo...) and some of our mutual friends have warned me that he told them he shipped me a gift (even though they told him repeatedly not to because it was definitely a bad idea). I have no idea what it is as it hasn't gotten here yet. And I have no idea what to do with it once it gets here... My mom suggested I send it back unopened, but I'm worried that by sending it back he might see it as "communication" of some sort (and thereby continue believing I have feelings for him). Someone else suggested I open it, throw away anything personal (cards, letters, pictures, etc) that might be in it unopened, and donate the rest of the items if there are any. So I don't know if I should send it back when it gets here or just toss it in the trash? Because if I send it back, I can see him seeing it as "communication" that I love him but I'm also not going to text him and tell him that I threw it away if I do that because that is communication and I now know how he reads that. I also have some of his clothes that he left here and I don't know if I should ship them back to him (he hasn't asked for them back, though...) or just donate them to Goodwill. I'm kind of tempted to do the latter because I don't want any correspondence with him at all.

    TL;DR How 2 deal w/ delusional manchild. Plz halp.
    This situation just kind of sucks, because unless he sees himself in the wrong he won't stop. You could get a restraining order or something, and that might help, but it might not stop it completely either and you'll still get stuff.

    It's just a crappy situation to be in, especially when it does stuff like mess up your birthday.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    So I don't normally post here looking for advice, but I'm kind of at the end of my rope and I'm not sure what to do anymore.

    I'll try to keep it brief, but no promises. So about two months ago or so, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost four years. There were a lot of reasons for this that I won't get into here, but the last straw was when I spent a weekend visiting my best friend and he got jealous and angry. He said a lot of really hurtful (and untrue) things, suggested I sleep with a random stranger, and said that he thought we should "take a break." So I dumped him because I don't play mind games like that. I am 100% positive his actions where with the intent to get me to feel guilty and beg him for forgiveness, but it didn't work out that way because I have more self-esteem than that now. He made a lot of (bullshit) excuses and said a lot of things that made zero sense. So I made it very clear early on that the relationship was over and that I was done dealing with this kind of thing (he's done a lot of borderline emotionally abusive/manipulative things in the past that I let slide because I was dumb). He texted me constantly (like, long 20-text long rants/explanations/etc) saying he made a mistake and asking if we could talk it out, etc. I told him that I said everything I had to say and that I didn't think there was anything more to talk about. So he continued to text me. Sometimes they were love-dovey I-can't-live-without-you drivel and sometimes they were more angry, calling me childish and disrespectful for not texting him back, etc. He has deluded himself into believing that my best friend and my mom talked me into breaking up with him (not true at all as they were not involved) and that I still have feelings for him (also not true because the only feeling I have for him now is annoyance).

    Eventually, it got so bad that he was texting me incessantly while I was at work and getting angry that I wasn't texting back fast enough so I threatened to have my cell number changed if he didn't stop bothering me. So he stopped for a while. It seems like he stops for a few days to a week at a time, and then he texts me again out of the blue when I think he's finally done. I have been ignoring his texts because even if I text back with simply "I'm at work" or "I have nothing to say to you" he tells our mutual friends that me responding to him at all means that I am madly in love with him (no joke). I am just seriously tired of being harassed weekly and not having my decision respected. I understand that I completely shattered his heart and all, but I've also made it very clear that I am moving forward with my life and have absolutely no intention of taking him back. He just will not let it go. I've blocked him on Skype and Facebook. I feel like my only option to completely cut off his communication with me is to get my cell number changed, but the only problem with that is that I have some job applications out that have that number on them and I don't want to miss any job opportunities because I had to change my number. I don't know if I should take the potential loss of opportunities in favor of peace of mind or not. A friend suggested I send him a cease and desist letter, but I don't know if that would have an legal bearing and I'm worried that he'll read into as me still being in love with him because I contacted him at all.

    Which brings me to my current predicament(s). Today is my birthday (woo...) and some of our mutual friends have warned me that he told them he shipped me a gift (even though they told him repeatedly not to because it was definitely a bad idea). I have no idea what it is as it hasn't gotten here yet. And I have no idea what to do with it once it gets here... My mom suggested I send it back unopened, but I'm worried that by sending it back he might see it as "communication" of some sort (and thereby continue believing I have feelings for him). Someone else suggested I open it, throw away anything personal (cards, letters, pictures, etc) that might be in it unopened, and donate the rest of the items if there are any. So I don't know if I should send it back when it gets here or just toss it in the trash? Because if I send it back, I can see him seeing it as "communication" that I love him but I'm also not going to text him and tell him that I threw it away if I do that because that is communication and I now know how he reads that. I also have some of his clothes that he left here and I don't know if I should ship them back to him (he hasn't asked for them back, though...) or just donate them to Goodwill. I'm kind of tempted to do the latter because I don't want any correspondence with him at all.

    TL;DR How 2 deal w/ delusional manchild. Plz halp.
    Wow, what a douche.

    Is your phone a fixed contract/payment or do you pay just when you need to use the phone? If it's the latter you could get a new number for your everyday use but just check the old one incrementally for any voice mails left on your job applications, once these jobs have expired then change them all to the new number, no point letting a petty guy ruin an excellent career opportunity. As for the presents &/or clothes either trash them or give them to a charity of some sorts and toss away the personal things, don't give him the satisfaction of any contact, that's exactly what he is craving by being a massive pain in the ***. With any luck prolonged cut off of contact will eventually sink in and he can move on.

    Ps. Happy Birthday, have a great day! :-)

  18. #4168
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesky Persian View Post
    Which brings me to my current predicament(s). Today is my birthday (woo...) and some of our mutual friends have warned me that he told them he shipped me a gift (even though they told him repeatedly not to because it was definitely a bad idea). I have no idea what it is as it hasn't gotten here yet. And I have no idea what to do with it once it gets here... My mom suggested I send it back unopened, but I'm worried that by sending it back he might see it as "communication" of some sort (and thereby continue believing I have feelings for him). Someone else suggested I open it, throw away anything personal (cards, letters, pictures, etc) that might be in it unopened, and donate the rest of the items if there are any. So I don't know if I should send it back when it gets here or just toss it in the trash? Because if I send it back, I can see him seeing it as "communication" that I love him but I'm also not going to text him and tell him that I threw it away if I do that because that is communication and I now know how he reads that. I also have some of his clothes that he left here and I don't know if I should ship them back to him (he hasn't asked for them back, though...) or just donate them to Goodwill. I'm kind of tempted to do the latter because I don't want any correspondence with him at all.

    TL;DR How 2 deal w/ delusional manchild. Plz halp.
    I've never had to do either of these things myself, but I believe that you can: A) have a specific number blocked from calling/texting your phone if you contact your provider and request it, and B) simply write "return to sender" on any U.S. mail (not sure about FedEx/UPS or whatever, but I believe they do similar deal) and they will return it without you needing to repackage/address it, buy postage, or anything that requires any effort (I don't know how any person would be able to read any context into that -- but I've been surprised before). I'd Goodwill the clothes.

    Also, iirc, you guys were long-distance and have probably ~1000 miles between the two of you, right? I assume you're not entertaining the notion in the first place, but I would seriously recommend against a cease-and-desist or a restraining order or any other legal action. It's way more trouble for both of you than it needs to be.

  19. #4169
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    Thanks, guys. I really appreciate the responses.

    @AquaMilotic: He hasn't tried to visit me yet, no. Early on when we were still talking, he said he'd bought plane tickets because someone told him it would be romantic to show up on my doorstep uninvited.... I shut that down real quick. (Protip to anyone else reading this: It's not cute/romantic to show up uninvited to your ex's house. Life is not an 80s RomCom and nobody wants you standing outside their window with a boombox. Don't do that shit.) Apparently, he's considered it a few other times, but our mutual friends told him it was a terrible idea. I still get worried he might try it, but not too much because I don't live anywhere near the airport and I have no idea how he'd actually get here. So that's a plus.

    @Sogeking: I thought about the restraining order thing, but as GrizzlyB pointed out, we were long distance so I'm not sure that would really make sense since I think restraining orders are mostly like physical presence? Like keeping people physically away from you. I don't know that much about them, tbh, but I don't think it would help with the texting thing, would it? He's just frustrating because I've been ignoring everything and he'll say stuff like, "I'm sorry for everything and you'll never hear from me again" and then like four days later, he'll text me "So are we never gonna talk again?"

    @Teebu: It's a contract so that makes it a little harder. I was really hoping that prolonged lack of contact would help him move on but it doesn't seem to be working after two months. He is relentless. I understand that I was his first serious relationship, but I have never dealt with something like this before.

    @GrizzlyB: I thought about having his number blocked, but I don't know if there is a fee involved? I guess maybe I should talk to my provider and see. I'd really hate to have to change my number, but that seems to be my only other option right now if I can't block him. And yeah, we were long-distance. I live in Illinois and he lives in Florida so there's quite a lot of distance between us. I was trying to avoid any kind of legal action because it seems a little over-the-top. He hasn't threatened me or anything, just been a major annoyance, so it's not like I feel like I'm in any sort of danger.

    Also, turns out the gift he sent me was flowers. LMAO. I wanted to just throw them away but my dad said that was a waste so I gave them to my mom to take to her office (it had some sappy note in it too but I just tossed that in the trash). At least it wasn't anything too crazy so that crisis is averted. I guess I'll have to find time to donate his clothes. It'll give me an excuse to go through my closet and get rid of stuff I don't need anyway. lol Got some other semi-related things I'm dealing with right now, but I don't feel comfortable talking about them here. So thanks again for the advice, everyone. =)

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    I know iPhones just added the ability to block after god knows how long, but I'm pretty sure most other phones can.

    I don't know how restraining orders work too much though, but there has to be some way to stop contact like that, but it could get into state laws each being different so it can't work for a dumb reason.

  21. #4171
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    well since it's been two months that only proves you made the right call, he clearly isn't mature enough to handle a grown up relationship.

    Last time i checked it's a free service to get a number blocked at the network level,im assuming it's the same sort of thing over there, though a lot of providers no longer block numbers. Both Iphone and android phones can block straight from the phone pretty easily & work very well i might add.

  22. #4172
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    I feel very depressed and I don't even know why. I have great friends, decent job that I like and a fun social life so I can't understand why I'm feeling so miserable. But every day I feel like I'm letting everyone down. It started when I first went to school, sometimes I could hide it and sometimes I can't.

    I remember having to do to the doctors or surgery a lot of times and they couldn't diagnose me with anything. I attempted suicide at school so I can't tell mum or else it will put them through the same thing over again.

    This time it's really getting worse. I've lost interest in everything I enjoyed and I go out shopping and do things in town to try and hide it. I don't think I can control my depression anymore.

    I'm really scared to speak up or call for help because I find verbal communication really hard. And now there is a lot of phyiscal pain in the body. I don't want to get sectioned or lose anything. I can't concentrate or remember things propely.

  23. #4173
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChloboShoka View Post
    I feel very depressed and I don't even know why. I have great friends, decent job that I like and a fun social life so I can't understand why I'm feeling so miserable. But every day I feel like I'm letting everyone down. It started when I first went to school, sometimes I could hide it and sometimes I can't.

    I remember having to do to the doctors or surgery a lot of times and they couldn't diagnose me with anything. I attempted suicide at school so I can't tell mum or else it will put them through the same thing over again.

    This time it's really getting worse. I've lost interest in everything I enjoyed and I go out shopping and do things in town to try and hide it. I don't think I can control my depression anymore.

    I'm really scared to speak up or call for help because I find verbal communication really hard. And now there is a lot of phyiscal pain in the body. I don't want to get sectioned or lose anything. I can't concentrate or remember things propely.
    I'm no expert, but if something is driving you to the point where you've tried to commit suicide, you need to talk to someone about it and get help, especially if you can't pinpoint a reason for how you feel. No matter how difficult it is for you, please try to talk to whoever it is that you can trust, whether it be a friend, teacher, relative, anyone. I'm sure your mother would much rather have you "put her through" this again than have you possibly succeed in committing suicide if nothing is done to help you and lose you. See a psychiatrist, they're trained to help, and talk to supportive people, even if you're terrified of doing so.


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  24. #4174
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChloboShoka View Post
    I feel very depressed and I don't even know why. I have great friends, decent job that I like and a fun social life so I can't understand why I'm feeling so miserable. But every day I feel like I'm letting everyone down. It started when I first went to school, sometimes I could hide it and sometimes I can't.

    I remember having to do to the doctors or surgery a lot of times and they couldn't diagnose me with anything. I attempted suicide at school so I can't tell mum or else it will put them through the same thing over again.

    This time it's really getting worse. I've lost interest in everything I enjoyed and I go out shopping and do things in town to try and hide it. I don't think I can control my depression anymore.

    I'm really scared to speak up or call for help because I find verbal communication really hard. And now there is a lot of phyiscal pain in the body. I don't want to get sectioned or lose anything. I can't concentrate or remember things propely.
    Basically what Archsage said. You've typed your problem out and explained it well - if you find verbal communication hard, then write down what you've written - exactly as you've written it here, if you like. I do think you need to tell your mother, precisely for the reasons Archsage has said, but definitely go and see a psychiatrist or mental health professional as soon as you can. In the end, you'll feel happier for it and will be able to have a more fulfilling life.

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  25. #4175
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChloboShoka View Post
    I feel very depressed and I don't even know why. I have great friends, decent job that I like and a fun social life so I can't understand why I'm feeling so miserable. But every day I feel like I'm letting everyone down. It started when I first went to school, sometimes I could hide it and sometimes I can't.

    I remember having to do to the doctors or surgery a lot of times and they couldn't diagnose me with anything. I attempted suicide at school so I can't tell mum or else it will put them through the same thing over again.

    This time it's really getting worse. I've lost interest in everything I enjoyed and I go out shopping and do things in town to try and hide it. I don't think I can control my depression anymore.

    I'm really scared to speak up or call for help because I find verbal communication really hard. And now there is a lot of phyiscal pain in the body. I don't want to get sectioned or lose anything. I can't concentrate or remember things propely.
    First of all, like the others said, you need to be open about it to the people you trust. I know it's difficult, but having a listening ear helps. Your mom should definitely know. Of course it's not nice for her to hear, but it's better than losing you. And I'm sure she would support you. And like Archsage and Roseheart95 said, you should see a psychiatrist to get help.

    And like I said in my VM to you: if you ever need a listening ear but don't feel ready to talk to your mom yet, you can always contact me. I'm not online 24/7, but almost every day, I should have some time to talk on Skype in the evening. It's hard to talk about difficult things like this, but getting it off your chest and feeling like you have a listening ear who understands you really helps. I know this from experience, I told you about my BFF. If I can help you that way, then I'm happy to do so. And if you have other friends you feel more comfortable talking to, I'm sure they'll be willing to help you through this as well.

    Basically, you should try to be open about it and talk to people you trust. If they care about you, I'm sure they'll all be willing to help you. And a psychiatrist could help you too. You should seek as much support as possible, I'm sure people who care about you will be there for you when you need it the most.
    Last edited by AquaMilotic; 26th May 2014 at 11:44 AM.

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