The Advice Thread.

[Gothic-Gothorita]

i agree with Gothic-Gothorita here. you are only a kid, stop worrying about adult things, they will most likely sort themselves out before you turn 20 (most people figure out a passion, a field they'd like to work, whether they want to travel, etc.). there's no use trying to plan your future at 12, because your interests and ideas will almost certainly change before you enter adulthood.

This is totally right! *nods in agreement*

@Moonrox: Also adding on to what moot said, you don't know how your future before your 20's is going to turn out. Once you get into your 20's things start to change and you begin to experience a lot of things. Vastly different than your years as a Child and Teen. Those 'things' can relate to really anything. Most of them, you'd least expect. Also when you turn 20 and after, you begin to meet and speak with a lot of people, like ones that are from different nationalities. And finally, you'll begin to learn WAY more than you've ever known in your 20's.

If you're going to ask why the "20's", then I'll just tell you right now, that in your 20's you have a lot of opportunity in your life to do something. For Example: In your 20's you may want to go to College to study for a specific subject and travel, or you may want to learn a sport and become a professional player. In your 20's there are many options you can choose from, which is overwhelming for a kid.

In summary, what moot and I are saying is that these are all adult things, and you're a kid. This is the time to be a kid and cherish this time as much as you can. ^_^

[lollygag]

Agreed. I'm almost 21 and I'm still uncertain about my future.

[Ame]

Agreed. I'm almost 21 and I'm still uncertain about my future.

To quote Baz Luhrmann,

"Don't feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't "

I'm nearly 21 myself, and all my course choices so far have left me not wanting to pursue that subject so far. I don't know what I want to do after University.
You're not alone!

My advice, try everything.

[Ludwig]

I need help. I befriended a girl at the beginning of the semester. She turned out really nice, giving me cookies before I went to my second class one day, and made plans with me on Valentine's Day. Since this Thursday, I was hoping to go meet her family today. However, whenever I texted her once on Friday and once today, me asking her about hanging out, she ignored me. I felt that I was my Asperger's Syndrome that kicked in where I am moving a bit too fast whenever I talked to her. I know that whenever something good happens to me such as doing something with a girl, I tend to tell about it like crazy and that's like a huge problem with me when it comes to being around girls. Would it be a good idea if I waited until Tuesday to talk to her? My dad told me that it will be a good idea if she brought up about what happened Saturday, along with her just being any ordinary girl. I am extremely worried that I might end a friendship by being this way where I am acting a bit too fast and begin to think that I am only good at screwing things up...

Asperger's isn't something that "kicks in".

I'm so confused with life, right now. I'm 12 years old, but don't say I'm too young to be thinking about this. It's not easy to put in to words, so excuse me if it's hard to understand.

So, I've recently been thinking a lot about the future. Future job, future family, future house, everything. I'm scared to death, because I don't really know where I want to live, what job I want to do, or who I want to live with. I have plenty of time to think about all of this, but it's all I can think about. Every place I can think of living is not a place that I would like to live in and raise children in. Future job isn't as much of a worry, but I want to do something fun, that pays well, that allows me to spend time with my family. I want to be a good father, not an idiotic father like mine. Future partner, I can't stop thinking about this. I dislike almost every human being I've come across, and the chances of me finding someone decent makes me want to cry. I don't know what to do, and I know I have plenty of time to think about this, but I'm not sure if it'll be enough. I'm really scared of the future, right now.

Worrying about it doesn't help, so stop doing that.

[Liz Azzimagica]

I need help. I befriended a girl at the beginning of the semester. She turned out really nice, giving me cookies before I went to my second class one day, and made plans with me on Valentine's Day. Since this Thursday, I was hoping to go meet her family today. However, whenever I texted her once on Friday and once today, me asking her about hanging out, she ignored me. I felt that I was my Asperger's Syndrome that kicked in where I am moving a bit too fast whenever I talked to her. I know that whenever something good happens to me such as doing something with a girl, I tend to tell about it like crazy and that's like a huge problem with me when it comes to being around girls. Would it be a good idea if I waited until Tuesday to talk to her? My dad told me that it will be a good idea if she brought up about what happened Saturday, along with her just being any ordinary girl. I am extremely worried that I might end a friendship by being this way where I am acting a bit too fast and begin to think that I am only good at screwing things up...

Listen my friend, I have this to so I know how hard routeens are to break and so don't put yourself down over this...you got to stay calm, think about what she could be going through...maybe she's going through something herself that's not putting her in the mood to talk...I know, I always get this feeling to when something goes wrong that "O, maybe it's me..." not always true. it could very well be something that's going on in her life to

ahve ur asperger removed and i bet shell luv u! hope i helped

and look, asperger's isn't just something you can "remove"...it's something you have for life, it's a life-long condition...I know because like I told him, I have it as well...mild but I still have it

[Mandi.]

I know because like I told him, I have it as well...mild but I still have it

Trust me, we know. Everyone has it, didn't you know?

[Neon Squirtle]

I have a sort of middle-child syndrome. I'm fine with my sister, but my 8-year-old brother is ridiculous.

He beats me up all the time, (I'm 11) safe in the knowledge I'll get a guilty conscience if I fight back and therefore won't. He annoys me to the point of me just wanting to lock myself in my room and never come out and then says I'm the worst brother he could ever have and he would trade me for Justin Bieber in a heartbeat. Then at dinner he talks nonstop about soccer and how I should be better at sport and not rant so much about academics like him. 99% of the names he calls me would get me a permaban for listing them. I just wish I knew what to do. He denies everything I say to my parents and acts all innocent when I accuse him, so that's out. Help?

[Ludwig]

I have a sort of middle-child syndrome. I'm fine with my sister, but my 8-year-old brother is ridiculous.

He beats me up all the time, (I'm 11) safe in the knowledge I'll get a guilty conscience if I fight back and therefore won't. He annoys me to the point of me just wanting to lock myself in my room and never come out and then says I'm the worst brother he could ever have and he would trade me for Justin Bieber in a heartbeat. Then at dinner he talks nonstop about soccer and how I should be better at sport and not rant so much about academics like him. 99% of the names he calls me would get me a permaban for listing them. I just wish I knew what to do. He denies everything I say to my parents and acts all innocent when I accuse him, so that's out. Help?

You don't get a permaban for listing them once. Probably not even a ban at all. I don't remember exactly how the point system works, but you need to do a lot of wrong to get banned the first time.
Just hit your brother when he taunts you. The slap seems to work fine for making someone stop talking, but doesn't hurt them. Breaking the nose is relatively easy and will result in a lot of bleeding, which makes a good warning. He won't taunt you again after experiencing that! There also is the put a piece of cloth in his mouth and bind him to a chair in the basement. But you might not have a basement. You can also try arsenic in his food if none of the above works.

[Neon Squirtle]

You don't get a permaban for listing them once. Probably not even a ban at all. I don't remember exactly how the point system works, but you need to do a lot of wrong to get banned the first time.
Just hit your brother when he taunts you. The slap seems to work fine for making someone stop talking, but doesn't hurt them. Breaking the nose is relatively easy and will result in a lot of bleeding, which makes a good warning. He won't taunt you again after experiencing that! There also is the put a piece of cloth in his mouth and bind him to a chair in the basement. But you might not have a basement. You can also try arsenic in his food if none of the above works.

Thanks, I really appreciate it. =)

Just a side note, the swear filter would stop most of the names my 8 year old brother calls me. Shameful really. Also, ARSENIC? I just read about it and despite temptations I'm really not eager to poison him.

[Gothic-Gothorita]

Thanks, I really appreciate it. =)

Just a side note, the swear filter would stop most of the names my 8 year old brother calls me. Shameful really. Also, ARSENIC? I just read about it and despite temptations I'm really not eager to poison him.

Just my few cents, (for now): Also, show your little brother that You're older than him and YOU'RE in charge. He has NO RIGHT to control you. (As far as we know) Let him know that you're his older brother and he has to listen to you when Mom and Dad aren't home.

I'll probably slap a wall of text about this later. =P

[Jb]

I have a sort of middle-child syndrome. I'm fine with my sister, but my 8-year-old brother is ridiculous.

He beats me up all the time, (I'm 11) safe in the knowledge I'll get a guilty conscience if I fight back and therefore won't. He annoys me to the point of me just wanting to lock myself in my room and never come out and then says I'm the worst brother he could ever have and he would trade me for Justin Bieber in a heartbeat. Then at dinner he talks nonstop about soccer and how I should be better at sport and not rant so much about academics like him. 99% of the names he calls me would get me a permaban for listing them. I just wish I knew what to do. He denies everything I say to my parents and acts all innocent when I accuse him, so that's out. Help?

How are you getting beat up by someone like 3-4 years younger than you? Aren't you bigger? You should be laying the beatdown on him if anything. Brothers fight, but what he's doing is bullying and he won't stop until you take action. Seriously, if your parents or other persons in charge won't listen, then seriously suggest laying a quick body slam on him to show that your not going to take it anymore.

I'm not saying knock him out or anything, but letting him hit you and you not doing anything is clearly letting him think he won. It won't stop until you make it stop.

[Ludwig]

How are you getting beat up by someone like 3-4 years younger than you? Aren't you bigger? You should be laying the beatdown on him if anything. Brothers fight, but what he's doing is bullying and he won't stop until you take action. Seriously, if your parents or other persons in charge won't listen, then seriously suggest laying a quick body slam on him to show that your not going to take it anymore.

I'm not saying knock him out or anything, but letting him hit you and you not doing anything is clearly letting him think he won. It won't stop until you make it stop.

I think that my breaking nose suggestion works better than a body slam.

[Ne0n-H!tch'd]

I have a sort of middle-child syndrome. I'm fine with my sister, but my 8-year-old brother is ridiculous.

He beats me up all the time, (I'm 11) safe in the knowledge I'll get a guilty conscience if I fight back and therefore won't. He annoys me to the point of me just wanting to lock myself in my room and never come out and then says I'm the worst brother he could ever have and he would trade me for Justin Bieber in a heartbeat. Then at dinner he talks nonstop about soccer and how I should be better at sport and not rant so much about academics like him. 99% of the names he calls me would get me a permaban for listing them. I just wish I knew what to do. He denies everything I say to my parents and acts all innocent when I accuse him, so that's out. Help?

Read this >> http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divis...ices#section_2


Then look up the one for your state (If U live in the US, NOT SURE WHAT OTHER COUNTRIES HAVE EM')

Only if you don't wana take things to the mano-a-mano resort

[Magicmonkey]

Thanks, I really appreciate it. =)

Just a side note, the swear filter would stop most of the names my 8 year old brother calls me. Shameful really. Also, ARSENIC? I just read about it and despite temptations I'm really not eager to poison him.

As people have said, you have to excercise control. Steal or break his favourite toys/limbs/facial features and Then deny and act innocent to the parents. Or simply get solid proof to the parents, which is what I did to my younger sister (she wasn't abusive, but she could get away with doing anything she wanted, up to and includng stealing money and selling my stuff to buy dog food (really dog food, not drugs)) and they realised I was tellingthe truth and had been for like 2 years.

[Neon Squirtle]

How are you getting beat up by someone like 3-4 years younger than you? Aren't you bigger? You should be laying the beatdown on him if anything. Brothers fight, but what he's doing is bullying and he won't stop until you take action. Seriously, if your parents or other persons in charge won't listen, then seriously suggest laying a quick body slam on him to show that your not going to take it anymore.

I'm not saying knock him out or anything, but letting him hit you and you not doing anything is clearly letting him think he won. It won't stop until you make it stop.

It's because I am naturally a gentle person, so if I slug him in the chest I'll get a guilty conscience later on. I know it's ridiculous, and it's one of the things I hate about myself, but I can't change it. Also he is more relentless, so he won't stop until he's sure I've given up, while I always stop when he tells me because of the aforementioned reasons. He once chipped my tooth by punching me in the mouth.

[Ludwig]

Read this >> http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divis...ices#section_2


Then look up the one for your state (If U live in the US, NOT SURE WHAT OTHER COUNTRIES HAVE EM')

Only if you don't wana take things to the mano-a-mano resort

If he doesn't want to retaliate, he doesn't deserve help.

It's because I am naturally a gentle person, so if I slug him in the chest I'll get a guilty conscience later on. I know it's ridiculous, and it's one of the things I hate about myself, but I can't change it. Also he is more relentless, so he won't stop until he's sure I've given up, while I always stop when he tells me because of the aforementioned reasons. He once chipped my tooth by punching me in the mouth.

Just break his nose and endure the guilt.

[Gothic-Gothorita]

It's because I am naturally a gentle person, so if I slug him in the chest I'll get a guilty conscience later on. I know it's ridiculous, and it's one of the things I hate about myself, but I can't change it. Also he is more relentless, so he won't stop until he's sure I've given up, while I always stop when he tells me because of the aforementioned reasons. He once chipped my tooth by punching me in the mouth.

I understand your plight, there are many people who wish not to harm others; however, if you refuse to harm him, I say to at least talk to him in a firm, strict, and somewhat harsh voice. Talk serious. Talking firm will at least let him know that you will/might say something to your parents. OR talking firm could "confuse" him, considering he's been bullying you for quite some time, he doesn't exactly know that you can retaliate in such a manner. Talking firm will show him 'who's boss' and that you're older than him so he can't just bully you around and get his way. In one-shot - Talking firm will let him know that you're taking action and you can't take it anymore.

EDIT: Oh, and if he doesn't stop until you give up, then under no circumstances are you to give up. The second you give up puts a thought in his mind that he's won and he just do that to you whenever he pleases.

Another thing I suggest is to learn to block his 'wild' attacks. Like you said, his 'punch' chipped your tooth. I really, really, suggest to learn to block or guard against his punches/wild attacks.

[Zazie]

It's because I am naturally a gentle person, so if I slug him in the chest I'll get a guilty conscience later on. I know it's ridiculous, and it's one of the things I hate about myself, but I can't change it. Also he is more relentless, so he won't stop until he's sure I've given up, while I always stop when he tells me because of the aforementioned reasons. He once chipped my tooth by punching me in the mouth.

Not fighting back is probably a good thing. Hitting him isn't necessarily going to get him to stop, it could just as easily provoke him. From the way you are decribing things it sounds like the latter. (have you tried fighting back before?) It certainly isn't going to help your case in the eyes of your parents if they catch you doing it either.

If your parents don't believe you, you should probably try and get them to catch him in the act or obtain some other form of proof. Though I would think they would take notice if he chipped your tooth, did he not get in trouble for that? (if not, you may want to talk to a school guidance counselor about it)

Beyond that I really do suggest trying to avoid/ignore him whenever possible if you aren't already.

[Neon Squirtle]

Not fighting back is probably a good thing. Hitting him isn't necessarily going to get him to stop, it could just as easily provoke him. From the way you are decribing things it sounds like the latter. (have you tried fighting back before?) It certainly isn't going to help your case in the eyes of your parents if they catch you doing it either.

If your parents don't believe you, you should probably try and get them to catch him in the act or obtain some other form of proof. Though I would think they would take notice if he chipped your tooth, did he not get in trouble for that? (if not, you may want to talk to a school guidance counselor about it)

Beyond that I really do suggest trying to avoid/ignore him whenever possible if you aren't already.

Really it just provokes him, so I don't often fight back. He did catch a lot of heat for chipping my tooth actually, but he just fell about laughing for no apparent reason and he was off the hook. After that I gave up with it. My parents actually saw him beating me up a few hours ago, so now they believe me when I say he beats me up and say I should smack him back. He doesn't beat me up so much now, so really all you guys were right. Thanks!

EDIT: @Gothic-Gothorita Blocking/martial arts have never worked for me. I tried karate once and, oh god just no. It went so badly I cringe whenever I see a picture of Bruce Lee now. Don't ask.

[Ludwig]

Not fighting back is probably a good thing. Hitting him isn't necessarily going to get him to stop, it could just as easily provoke him. From the way you are decribing things it sounds like the latter. (have you tried fighting back before?) It certainly isn't going to help your case in the eyes of your parents if they catch you doing it either.

If your parents don't believe you, you should probably try and get them to catch him in the act or obtain some other form of proof. Though I would think they would take notice if he chipped your tooth, did he not get in trouble for that? (if not, you may want to talk to a school guidance counselor about it)

Beyond that I really do suggest trying to avoid/ignore him whenever possible if you aren't already.

Not fighting back will not make it stop.