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Thread: The Official Advice Thread

  1. #1651
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    Any tips for polite rejections? Im a kind of person who hates to be mean.

  2. #1652
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    @Rayce: For rejections you can just tell them in a nice tone of voice using non-offensive words that they are a nice person and all(even if they aren't), and explain to them why you don't want to go out or something...
    The Beautiful World

  3. #1653
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    Be blunt. If not, you'll just irritate the other person by not being clear enough. I believed this was mentioned back a few pages ago.

  4. #1654
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rayce View Post
    Any tips for polite rejections? Im a kind of person who hates to be mean.
    Make contradictory excuses until the other person takes the hint.

    ^ Click this for good times ^


  5. #1655
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rayce View Post
    Any tips for polite rejections? Im a kind of person who hates to be mean.
    Just be upfront, honest, and don't use an offensive tone. Appologizing for having to say would also work.

    The person you're saying to is going to be very distraught from hearing this, so even a hug may be a good idea. As long as you say the right things and not do anything that may make them feel worse, they should understand and not be mad or anything about the rejection, just sad and heartbroken.

  6. #1656
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    Quote Originally Posted by UnovaMaster View Post
    Be blunt. If not, you'll just irritate the other person by not being clear enough. I believed this was mentioned back a few pages ago.
    A couple people told me to be as simplistic (but nice) as possible, I think ill go with that.

  7. #1657
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rayce View Post
    A couple people told me to be as simplistic (but nice) as possible, I think ill go with that.
    example: "That is real sweet of you but I am not seeking anything of that degree with you. I'd like us to stay friends"
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroicEric
    Do you ever go out/work/study/whatever or just post all day, because wow you post a lot.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tiaramisu
    Srsly stop spamming up each ****ing thread for postcount moron. Just leave this forum again and keep your ******** posts away.
    Did I just start a fan club?

  8. #1658
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nyter09 View Post
    example: "That is real sweet of you but I am not seeking anything of that degree with you. I'd like us to stay friends"
    "I'd like us to stay friends"? *gag* friend zone Dx I think ill pass with that one. Thanks for the rest, though!

  9. #1659
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rayce View Post
    "I'd like us to stay friends"? *gag* friend zone Dx I think ill pass with that one. Thanks for the rest, though!
    Oh it's that bad ehh...
    Quote Originally Posted by HeroicEric
    Do you ever go out/work/study/whatever or just post all day, because wow you post a lot.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tiaramisu
    Srsly stop spamming up each ****ing thread for postcount moron. Just leave this forum again and keep your ******** posts away.
    Did I just start a fan club?

  10. #1660
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rayce View Post
    Any tips for polite rejections? Im a kind of person who hates to be mean.
    Heard of that saying "Sometimes you must be cruel to be kind"? I'd say this was probably one of those situations. If you do what Gelatino said and keep making excuses until they get the hint, you're probably being more cruel than necessary as that's constant rejecting. You should just say you're not looking for a relationship or wanting to go out with anyone. Honesty is never a bad thing.

    xxx

  11. #1661
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    Quote Originally Posted by UnovaMaster View Post
    Ludwig, would you like some advice on how to not overthink everything?
    No.

    Quote Originally Posted by jb08045 View Post
    Since I finished High School I haven't seen much of my friends. Facebook is pretty good way to stay in touch.
    Why is that important?

  12. #1662
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig View Post
    I am relaxed.
    Quote Originally Posted by UnovaMaster View Post
    Ludwig, would you like some advice on how to not overthink everything?
    LOL Unova, it's cool. At least with me. It's not that Ludwig over thinks his responses. Its that he isn't thinking enough...
    ...
    ...
    or he watches Monty Python!

    So true!

  13. #1663
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig View Post
    Why is that important?
    Because it's good to keep bonds with the people you've made memories with, Ludwig.


    "History is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake."

  14. #1664
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elice_Carol View Post
    Because it's good to keep bonds with the people you've made memories with, Ludwig.
    It seem pointless.

  15. #1665
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ludwig View Post
    It seem pointless.
    Have you EVER had friends before? If not...I guess you're just the type that doesn't form bonds. Nothing wrong with that.

    Join PI Forums please! :0



  16. #1666
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    hey guys, its me again. I decided not to go for that girl, but for another girl that actually likes me. we have sweet talks on FB etc. and she and her ex broke up 4 days ago (i didnt do a thing). am I doing this right? and should I do this cause I mean, shes in south eastern ontario and im in northern saskachewan
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  17. #1667
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobyjoe5000 View Post
    hey guys, its me again. I decided not to go for that girl, but for another girl that actually likes me. we have sweet talks on FB etc. and she and her ex broke up 4 days ago (i didnt do a thing). am I doing this right? and should I do this cause I mean, shes in south eastern ontario and im in northern saskachewan
    You're going to get your **** pushed in by her ex if you try to date her within the next two weeks.

    Do it.

  18. #1668
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobyjoe5000 View Post
    hey guys, its me again. I decided not to go for that girl, but for another girl that actually likes me. we have sweet talks on FB etc. and she and her ex broke up 4 days ago (i didnt do a thing). am I doing this right? and should I do this cause I mean, shes in south eastern ontario and im in northern saskachewan
    Distance shouldn't be a problem if you guys really start liking each other. Sometimes love can really overcome any issues such as distance, and moving very far away. Since she broke up with her ex not too long ago, I wouldn't rush into things to fast.

    Because of the distance however, I would really stop and think about whether you both feel you can make the relationship work and whether you like each that much to make it a full relationship some day.

  19. #1669
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    I quite agree with what G50 has said. What I'd like to add is that you should think carefully before you approach this girl further. It's only been four days since she broke up with her ex and she's already sweet talking with you? You should hope mediocre relationships aren't a common occurrence with the girl.

    xxx

  20. #1670
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    Be careful, you don't seem to know why this girl got out of her other relationship. There might be something really bad about her. Be vigilant!

    Join PI Forums please! :0



  21. #1671
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    Also, it's never a good idea to date someone until you are completely sure that they are over their ex. Four days is not long enough for her to be over him, and it's possible that she may be sweet-talking you because she needs someone to rebound on.

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    Varanus already said not to and she's smarter than me so I should Listen to her.

  22. #1672
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    Quote Originally Posted by varanus_komodoensis View Post
    Also, it's never a good idea to date someone until you are completely sure that they are over their ex. Four days is not long enough for her to be over him, and it's possible that she may be sweet-talking you because she needs someone to rebound on.
    she told me she was ove rhis cause he was being a dumb ****. plus, she's liked me since g7
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  23. #1673
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobyjoe5000 View Post
    she told me she was ove rhis cause he was being a dumb ****. plus, she's liked me since g7
    Take it slow.

    ^ Click this for good times ^


  24. #1674
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobyjoe5000 View Post
    she told me she was ove rhis cause he was being a dumb ****. plus, she's liked me since g7
    Just don't rush into things, and as I said make sure to really decide if you can both make it work and like each other that much to be able to keep the long distance relationship going.

  25. #1675
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    OK, I'm finally asking the Advice thread for help for my own romantic situation...

    There's this girl at my college I've been co-workers/good friends with for a few years. We do hang out after work with other people, usually lunch/dinner, and I've had classes with her too. I've also taken her to a dance (technically as a friend), but have never been on an "official" date with her. I've had a bit of a crush on her for a long time, but a few months ago I've decided to pursue her. If I trust my brain (which I'm not really sure since obviously my brain's in a knot about her) I've also picked up signs that she likes me (although I can also provide doubts of course), and there's been a bit of tension between us. I don't consider myself properly friend-zoned because we're co-workers, but at the same time I need her to say yes (or at least let's stay good friends), otherwise it would be weird between us at work.

    So I'm going to tell her how I feel about her. Ideally, after lunch sometime in the next week or so when I can talk to her privately (note I'm doing in in person ). My problem is, I'm trying to figure out what to tell her (yeah, lame, I'd think I got it but can't really think clearly about this). Should I say "I like you," "I have feelings for you," or something else along those lines? Go in a mini-rant about why I like her? Keep in mind I'm trying to walk a delicate line between going out with her (on an "official" date) and not freaking her out.

    TL;DR: Trying to tell a good friends I like them, trying to figure out how.

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