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Thread: The Official Advice Thread

  1. #1926
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    ^fuck her and dont talk to her again

    guaranteed she will hate you and wont speak to you anymore, works all the time!

  2. #1927
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Nidoking~ View Post
    To sum things up

    Since I was 13, my best friend has been trying to date me. We both turn 18 in the Fall, so its almost 5 years now. I keep telling her I am flattered, but I only date guys, but it seems to go over her head. The tonight, I got this im:

    Alice: -smiles- You are so cute
    lner44: Huh?
    Alice: -giggles-
    lner44: What?
    Alice: -sits on your floor-
    lner44: Yes?
    Alice: I want you
    lner44: for?
    Alice: -rolls my eyes-
    Alice: I want you to date me, and not guys
    lner44: why?
    Alice: I'm attracted to you
    lner44: Lol, pull the other one.
    Alice: Sam.
    lner44: Yes?
    Alice: I love you
    lner44: I love you aswell, and thats why you are my best friend

    Im sure I am missing something here. I am trying not to loose it with her, but she wont take any damned hints that I am not intrested in the slightest. I've been gentle, rude, ignored her, been more clingy and nothing works! I'm worrying if it is her mental health, as she is bi-polar, and I think she may be creating the sexuality of mself, and the rest of me as two diffrent people and ignoring the fact I am gay..
    Your friend is obviously in denial. She knows that you are gay, as she mentioned it in her IM. She probably thinks she can turn you straight. Also, that "I love you" doesn't mean "I love you as a friend", it means "I love you romantically". I'm not sure if there's anything you can do besides continuing to say no to her. I wouldn't be belligerent, of course. I would just keep repeating to her every time that she brings it up, "Alice, I am gay. I don't want to date you or any girl, and I never will. I am attracted to guys, and nothing is ever going to happen between us because you are straight and I am gay." Be completely straight with her (pun intended ) and just keep telling her the same thing every time.

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  3. #1928
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cruxis View Post
    ^fuck her and dont talk to her again

    guaranteed she will hate you and wont speak to you anymore, works all the time!
    This does not work all the time. This actually makes them try to get you harder. No srs, you must be joking anyway.

    Anyway, Varanus advice is good but missing something. Your friend has obviously sexualized you in her head, and forgive me if this sounds a little bit like stereotyping: The gay guys I know are often very playful with their female friends. It can seem like they are being flirty, if this is something you do, be more mindful and cut down on it.

    Also I suggest trying to find someone else for her to be interested in, like set her up with one of your straight friends. Someone with surface beauty is a good way to get them to stop idealizing you.
    Last edited by Zevn; 19th March 2012 at 2:20 AM.
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  4. #1929
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Nidoking~ View Post
    To sum things up

    Since I was 13, my best friend has been trying to date me. We both turn 18 in the Fall, so its almost 5 years now. I keep telling her I am flattered, but I only date guys, but it seems to go over her head. The tonight, I got this im:

    Alice: -smiles- You are so cute
    lner44: Huh?
    Alice: -giggles-
    lner44: What?
    Alice: -sits on your floor-
    lner44: Yes?
    Alice: I want you
    lner44: for?
    Alice: -rolls my eyes-
    Alice: I want you to date me, and not guys
    lner44: why?
    Alice: I'm attracted to you
    lner44: Lol, pull the other one.
    Alice: Sam.
    lner44: Yes?
    Alice: I love you
    lner44: I love you aswell, and thats why you are my best friend

    Im sure I am missing something here. I am trying not to loose it with her, but she wont take any damned hints that I am not intrested in the slightest. I've been gentle, rude, ignored her, been more clingy and nothing works! I'm worrying if it is her mental health, as she is bi-polar, and I think she may be creating the sexuality of mself, and the rest of me as two diffrent people and ignoring the fact I am gay..
    She most likely hasn't accepted the fact that you're Gay and not interested, or she just doesn't want to believe it because she loves you too much to accept the truth. Instead of just dropping hints; explain to her in full detail the truth, but say it so that she does not get upset or offended. Unfortunately it may take awhile for her to eventually accept the truth, if she continues after that and won't stop then it's borderlining on harrassment and would have to be dealt with in a different manner.
    "Heart + Determination + Perserverence = Success" ™

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  5. #1930
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    Well nidoking, she cant bother you anymore if she is dead.

    Nomsayn?

  6. #1931
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cruxis View Post
    Well nidoking, she cant bother you anymore if she is dead.

    Nomsayn?
    But that would be too easy. Sometimes we have to make life challenging so we can have some fun, Nomsayn?

    ^ Click this for good times ^


  7. #1932
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Nidoking~ View Post
    Im sure I am missing something here. I am trying not to loose it with her, but she wont take any damned hints that I am not intrested in the slightest. I've been gentle, rude, ignored her, been more clingy and nothing works! I'm worrying if it is her mental health, as she is bi-polar, and I think she may be creating the sexuality of mself, and the rest of me as two diffrent people and ignoring the fact I am gay..
    As has been said, this could be denial, although the way she's talking I would say it was downright stupidity. There's not really much more you can do but reject her constantly, or you could give her an ultimatum. Something along the lines of "If you want to remain friends, back off!" If she's going to constantly pester you and make things awkward, then it's probably not worth remaining friends anyway. What an unusual lady...

    xxx

  8. #1933
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    Okay, so I have an audition for the Honor Band around here ( where high schoolers from neighboring counties come and make an elite band), in about 3 hours! I'm so nervous, I hate being the only one playing, and I'll be recorded, which is even worse. I also barely know the piece with the patterns, and it's too far above my range. any ways to relax or make an excuse?* I mean, our band event is so little, I'm pretty much garunteed a spot, even though I bomb all the auditions.

  9. #1934
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    Quote Originally Posted by YaDunGoofed View Post
    Okay, so I have an audition for the Honor Band around here ( where high schoolers from neighboring counties come and make an elite band), in about 3 hours! I'm so nervous, I hate being the only one playing, and I'll be recorded, which is even worse. I also barely know the piece with the patterns, and it's too far above my range. any ways to relax or make an excuse?* I mean, our band event is so little, I'm pretty much garunteed a spot, even though I bomb all the auditions.
    Well, I really would have advised that you spend a lot of time going through what it is you're playing, but with only three hours left it's not a good sign that you barely know the piece. Regardless of that, you just need to try to pretend that you're going to a normal session and all these recordings aren't happening. Just do your best and make sure to keep practising in the little time you have left. Also, if you are certain that you're guaranteed a position, then that should be less reason to worry, but still don't slack on the practise. And good luck!
    Also, just adding this in, sometimes it's not bad to miss out. If the work they expect from you is too far above your range, then perhaps it's better that you don't advance yet. It could be quite stressful having to live up to higher expectations when you're not quite at that level yet.

    xxx

  10. #1935
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    Thank you! But also, I tend to get red and embarrassed pretty easily. Any pep talk? Lol.

  11. #1936
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    Quote Originally Posted by YaDunGoofed View Post
    Okay, so I have an audition for the Honor Band around here ( where high schoolers from neighboring counties come and make an elite band), in about 3 hours! I'm so nervous, I hate being the only one playing, and I'll be recorded, which is even worse. I also barely know the piece with the patterns, and it's too far above my range. any ways to relax or make an excuse?* I mean, our band event is so little, I'm pretty much garunteed a spot, even though I bomb all the auditions.
    What do you play?

    Anyway, I can say from experience that after you've done enough auditions, you stop getting nervous. Sort of like playing solos in concerts (I never got nervous from playing solos but I assumed it would be a good comparison for most people). The best way to be confident is to spend a lot of time fixing any issues you have with your audition music. Make sure you can play the part from start to finish without a problem. I assume you were given enough time for that since it should only take a few days at most.

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  12. #1937
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    Quote Originally Posted by YaDunGoofed View Post
    Thank you! But also, I tend to get red and embarrassed pretty easily. Any pep talk? Lol.
    My pep talk would be to go practise already!!! There's not really anything anyone can say that would help with nerves and being embarrassed in front of a group of people. Although as Gelatino95 said, these things get easier the more you do them, so take it as getting some good experience!

    xxx

  13. #1938
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    Also one thing I can say is this: I don't know you, but I can pretty much guarantee that the judges have heard musicians far worse than you. There are some pretty terrible musicians out there who you clearly haven't seen yet.

    ^ Click this for good times ^


  14. #1939
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    Quote Originally Posted by YaDunGoofed View Post
    Okay, so I have an audition for the Honor Band around here ( where high schoolers from neighboring counties come and make an elite band), in about 3 hours! I'm so nervous, I hate being the only one playing, and I'll be recorded, which is even worse. I also barely know the piece with the patterns, and it's too far above my range. any ways to relax or make an excuse?* I mean, our band event is so little, I'm pretty much garunteed a spot, even though I bomb all the auditions.
    Quote Originally Posted by YaDunGoofed View Post
    Thank you! But also, I tend to get red and embarrassed pretty easily. Any pep talk? Lol.
    Make sure to go through your audition piece at least 3 more times, just to give you more confidence. Even give yourself some confidence by telling yourself "I can do this". It's better to not assume that you will make it, that might hinder your performance if you think that way. Before your performance, take a few deep breaths and then right before you start playing make sure you are nice and calm before beginning.
    "Heart + Determination + Perserverence = Success" ™

    My Philosophical quote on goals and dreams.

  15. #1940
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    hey guys, I'm back to the thing with the girl. After taking time, we are finally dating. Thanks or your help
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  16. #1941
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobyjoe5000 View Post
    hey guys, I'm back to the thing with the girl. After taking time, we are finally dating. Thanks or your help
    well done bro.

    srs.






    you better clap dem cheekz soon nomsayn

  17. #1942
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobyjoe5000 View Post
    hey guys, I'm back to the thing with the girl. After taking time, we are finally dating. Thanks or your help
    Congrats, and good luck with your relationship

    you're welcome.
    "Heart + Determination + Perserverence = Success" ™

    My Philosophical quote on goals and dreams.

  18. #1943
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    My friend has recently been hanging out with very immature idiotic people. Ever since the two of them started coming to my friend's house I have stayed away from that house. One of them only goes there to drink my friend's dad's alcohol(And yes he gets very pissed when he runs out). But every time he dad walks in and asks about his beer one of them blame it on one of my other friends(Because of this he is now banned from the house). But before this when that friends was there with us one of the idiots randomly puts him in a choke hold until blood begins coming from his nose. Because of that my friend was rushed to the hospital and had a 500 dollar bill.

    Another time me and two others were playing Xbox when the two morons randomly walk in laughing for no reason. One of them grabs a long match and sharpens it then sticks it in a pellet gun and shoots me right behind my ear(And yes there was blood) I grabbed the gun and threw it out the window and told them to grow the hell up but they just keep laughing. That is when we noticed they were high. Me and my two friends go outside about to leave and for some reason the two morons randomly get in my friends van with us. We drive to the city to go to Wal-Mart(We were buying more snacks) I then remember what my parents once told me(Whether you are in possession of pot or not you will still go to jail) Right as I was about to re enter the van I remembered that. I told my friends I would just call my mother to come pick me up(It was 3 am in the morning). My friends keep trying to make me go home with them but I just ignored them(after this day I haven't been over to my friends house since this day)

    I then bump into my friend and a few of my other friends at Wal-mart and begin walking around with them(This was the first time seeing my friend since I ditched them). We talked as we walked around Wal-Mart some of them tried getting girl's numbers, UNTIL the two morons come out of nowhere(One of them was limping for some random reason). I then silently walk away and go back to my sister and her son( Who I was there with). I then tell her that we needed to leave.

    Months later I go on facebook(This was today) I read that one of those idiots threw a knife at my friend while he was lying in the bed covered up and the knife stabbed his leg through the cover. I tell my friend that I tried warning him about them but to my surprise one of the idiots reply to my message and told me to STFU and stay out of their business and told me to go take some pills(Which is making fun of how I used to have major migraines and had to take medicine for it) I once again tell him to grow up but he calls me a dumb (F word) for no reason and starts calling me a pussy for staying in the city when I ditched them. I then told him why I ditched them. He replies calling me a dumb (F word) again and said he didn't have any on him(This guy is incredibly stupid, seriously) I told him he was the one who brought that mess to my friend's house(yes he is a dealer). He never replied back(because he knows I'm right).

    EDIT: NVM he replied back and said very rude things about me. He tried saying his life is better than mine(Yeah I dropped out of High School but it was either that or face serious consequences) Him being a drug dealer shows that his life is worse than mine already anyway. Plus he tried talking crap about my mother(who has been at the hospital for weeks with my grandma who could pass away at any moment).

    So is there anyway or some form of advice to convince my friend that these two are nothing but trouble? I have been so sad about never going to my friend's house(I get very bored on weekends now)
    Last edited by rocky505; 20th March 2012 at 10:01 AM.

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  19. #1944
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    Quote Originally Posted by rocky505 View Post
    My friend has recently been hanging out with very immature idiotic people. Ever since the two of them started coming to my friend's house I have stayed away from that house. One of them only goes there to drink my friend's dad's alcohol(And yes he gets very pissed when he runs out). But every time he dad walks in and asks about his beer one of them blame it on one of my other friends(Because of this he is now banned from the house). But before this when that friends was there with us one of the idiots randomly puts him in a choke hold until blood begins coming from his nose. Because of that my friend was rushed to the hospital and had a 500 dollar bill.

    Another time me and two others were playing Xbox when the two morons randomly walk in laughing for no reason. One of them grabs a long match and sharpens it then sticks it in a pellet gun and shoots me right behind my ear(And yes there was blood) I grabbed the gun and threw it out the window and told them to grow the hell up but they just keep laughing. That is when we noticed they were high. Me and my two friends go outside about to leave and for some reason the two morons randomly get in my friends van with us. We drive to the city to go to Wal-Mart(We were buying more snacks) I then remember what my parents once told me(Whether you are in possession of pot or not you will still go to jail) Right as I was about to re enter the van I remembered that. I told my friends I would just call my mother to come pick me up(It was 3 am in the morning). My friends keep trying to make me go home with them but I just ignored them(after this day I haven't been over to my friends house since this day)

    I then bump into my friend and a few of my other friends at Wal-mart and begin walking around with them(This was the first time seeing my friend since I ditched them). We talked as we walked around Wal-Mart some of them tried getting girl's numbers, UNTIL the two morons come out of nowhere(One of them was limping for some random reason). I then silently walk away and go back to my sister and her son( Who I was there with). I then tell her that we needed to leave.

    Months later I go on facebook(This was today) I read that one of those idiots threw a knife at my friend while he was lying in the bed covered up and the knife stabbed his leg through the cover. I tell my friend that I tried warning him about them but to my surprise one of the idiots reply to my message and told me to STFU and stay out of their business and told me to go take some pills(Which is making fun of how I used to have major migraines and had to take medicine for it) I once again tell him to grow up but he calls me a dumb (F word) for no reason and starts calling me a pussy for staying in the city when I ditched them. I then told him why I ditched them. He replies calling me a dumb (F word) again and said he didn't have any on him(This guy is incredibly stupid, seriously) I told him he was the one who brought that mess to my friend's house(yes he is a dealer). He never replied back(because he knows I'm right).

    So is there anyway or some form of advice to convince my friend that these two are nothing but trouble? I have been so sad about never going to my friend's house(I get very bored on weekends now)
    First off - Wow...

    It's very clear that these other friends of his are nothing but trouble. He needs to realize that all they have been doing is harming other people, getting everyone into trouble, and harming themselves in the long run. Have a very long talk with him alone, go through with everything that has happened and ask him how that makes them good friends for him. Explain to him how dangerous what they are doing is, and what it could lead to in the future.

    If you are willing to take this step, I would refrain from hanging out with him when his friends are with him, to show your dispproval of the situation and that you do not want to be involved with them as well; just you and him hanging out. If problems persistent and this continues to be an issue with him keeping them as friends and them causing trouble, I'd think about whether you truly want to stay friends and whether it is safe to do so.
    "Heart + Determination + Perserverence = Success" ™

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  20. #1945
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    Quote Originally Posted by G50 View Post
    First off - Wow...

    It's very clear that these other friends of his are nothing but trouble. He needs to realize that all they have been doing is harming other people, getting everyone into trouble, and harming themselves in the long run. Have a very long talk with him alone, go through with everything that has happened and ask him how that makes them good friends for him. Explain to him how dangerous what they are doing is, and what it could lead to in the future.

    If you are willing to take this step, I would refrain from hanging out with him when his friends are with him, to show your dispproval of the situation and that you do not want to be involved with them as well; just you and him hanging out. If problems persistent and this continues to be an issue with him keeping them as friends and them causing trouble, I'd think about whether you truly want to stay friends and whether it is safe to do so.
    I haven't been to my friend's house since I ditched them, because one of the numb skulls is so screwed up he thinks he lives there and thinks he is my friends brother(He stayed there for an entire month!)

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  21. #1946
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    Quote Originally Posted by rocky505 View Post
    My friend has recently been hanging out with very immature idiotic people. Ever since the two of them started coming to my friend's house I have stayed away from that house. One of them only goes there to drink my friend's dad's alcohol(And yes he gets very pissed when he runs out). But every time he dad walks in and asks about his beer one of them blame it on one of my other friends(Because of this he is now banned from the house). But before this when that friends was there with us one of the idiots randomly puts him in a choke hold until blood begins coming from his nose. Because of that my friend was rushed to the hospital and had a 500 dollar bill.

    Another time me and two others were playing Xbox when the two morons randomly walk in laughing for no reason. One of them grabs a long match and sharpens it then sticks it in a pellet gun and shoots me right behind my ear(And yes there was blood) I grabbed the gun and threw it out the window and told them to grow the hell up but they just keep laughing. That is when we noticed they were high. Me and my two friends go outside about to leave and for some reason the two morons randomly get in my friends van with us. We drive to the city to go to Wal-Mart(We were buying more snacks) I then remember what my parents once told me(Whether you are in possession of pot or not you will still go to jail) Right as I was about to re enter the van I remembered that. I told my friends I would just call my mother to come pick me up(It was 3 am in the morning). My friends keep trying to make me go home with them but I just ignored them(after this day I haven't been over to my friends house since this day)

    I then bump into my friend and a few of my other friends at Wal-mart and begin walking around with them(This was the first time seeing my friend since I ditched them). We talked as we walked around Wal-Mart some of them tried getting girl's numbers, UNTIL the two morons come out of nowhere(One of them was limping for some random reason). I then silently walk away and go back to my sister and her son( Who I was there with). I then tell her that we needed to leave.

    Months later I go on facebook(This was today) I read that one of those idiots threw a knife at my friend while he was lying in the bed covered up and the knife stabbed his leg through the cover. I tell my friend that I tried warning him about them but to my surprise one of the idiots reply to my message and told me to STFU and stay out of their business and told me to go take some pills(Which is making fun of how I used to have major migraines and had to take medicine for it) I once again tell him to grow up but he calls me a dumb (F word) for no reason and starts calling me a pussy for staying in the city when I ditched them. I then told him why I ditched them. He replies calling me a dumb (F word) again and said he didn't have any on him(This guy is incredibly stupid, seriously) I told him he was the one who brought that mess to my friend's house(yes he is a dealer). He never replied back(because he knows I'm right).

    EDIT: NVM he replied back and said very rude things about me. He tried saying his life is better than mine(Yeah I dropped out of High School but it was either that or face serious consequences) Him being a drug dealer shows that his life is worse than mine already anyway. Plus he tried talking crap about my mother(who has been at the hospital for weeks with my grandma who could pass away at any moment).

    So is there anyway or some form of advice to convince my friend that these two are nothing but trouble? I have been so sad about never going to my friend's house(I get very bored on weekends now)
    No there isn't. Your friend has chosen a path, all you can do is be there if/when he see's the light. It's harsh, but sometimes, it's the only true course.

    So true!

  22. #1947
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    Eh. My mom is drunk. How should I react? Stay away from her?

  23. #1948
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    Quote Originally Posted by YaDunGoofed View Post
    Eh. My mom is drunk. How should I react? Stay away from her?
    drink with her

  24. #1949
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    Quote Originally Posted by YaDunGoofed View Post
    Eh. My mom is drunk. How should I react? Stay away from her?
    It depends on the type of drunk she is. If she turns into a ***** then just leave her alone otherwise you can have some fun and mess around with her. Or you can get her to bed and let her sleep it off. I'd choose the second choice out of the three I gave you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebecca R. View Post
    It depends on the type of drunk she is. If she turns into a ***** then just leave her alone otherwise you can have some fun and mess around with her. Or you can get her to bed and let her sleep it off. I'd choose the second choice out of the three I gave you.
    She's the whine-about-everything-rant drunk.

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