I'm going to go against the grain this chapter.
I thought it was awesome. Wait, what? haha
No, it was a great chapter. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don't have a good transition into my normal way of rating, so I'm going to jump right into it. Well, after I state that this is one of my favorite chapters, and probably my favorite Gym Battles.
1.) There was a bit of odd repetition while describing Druddigon's staggard flying during David's battle. You use the exact same phrase in two paragraphs almost back to back. I'm pretty sure that was something that you hadn't noticed while writing, so I'm not going to be too picky about it. Or I'm just weird and I thought it was repetitive. :/
Druddigon heroically and painstakingly rose once more and began beating his wings to take to the skies, but his paralysis was beginning to take hold. He got into the air, but it was a strained effort.The rest was pretty good though. I didn't look hard enough to find any other typos, or anything.“Paula, use Psychic!” David commanded preemptively. Though the surprise paralysis was a welcomed blessing, he didn’t want to chance a loss while the physically-inclined Druddigon could still land a blow against his defensively frail Gardevoir. Paula’s horn began to glow bright white as she launched the blast of telekinesis. Druddigon had managed to get into the air, but it was a terribly strained effort.
2.) Characterization in this chapter was really good. I really got Iris trying to keep her inner wild-child in to be official for her match. Drayden's Spartan Mayor was exemplified very well too. Bianca was very in-character when she won her battle, while Cheren's battle really brought out his more sentimental side while sticking to his cold, hard, calculating nature. And David's aloofness/Ash-like strategy making (I mean no offense by this) rang loud and true.
3.) The battle scenes. I am truly amazed at how much improvement you've made in your battle scenes. I feel like I say this every battle chapter, but it's true. In hand with 2's comment on characterization, I could really feel the personality of each Pokemon in battle, barring Gus I think. Everyone's personalities all really came out.
4.) I actually got really... Intense feelings while reading the battles. Like I was there, or at the very least watching. It was a really well written battle.
That's pretty much it. It was so good! I'm also glad I waited a little bit to send in my character; now I have more of Cheren to contemplate. IT WILL BE SENT IN! I just want it to actually be good. hahah