Poké Punch-Out!! (Rated PG)

[ESPNfanatic35]

Just in case you haven't, make sure you've read Chapter 37! Some important facts of knowledge are in there!

Don't worry, I read it so I'm all up to date. Lopunny seems like a mean girl for rubbing it in poor Lilligant's face! I like how supportive she is of her boyfriend, though. Through thick and thin.

In the epic rematch of the century, Hitmonchan vs. Furret, the Fighting type seemingly had the champion in an inifinite lock with Sky Uppercut. As he uppercutted, he smacked the Normal type’s head several times, knocked him aside for a star, hit him with another Sky Uppercut, and repeated.

“Oh! Ai, ooh, ack! Oh!”

“SKY UPPERCUT!” Hitmonchan launched the Normal type several yards into the air once again, in what seemed to be slow motion, and Furret landed on the floor dazed.

“Aiii…”

Quickest.Knockout.Ever. Awesome and hilarious at the same time!

And poor Lilligant, didn't get her flashbacks in this chapter! Maybe next time...

Loved the chapter and Throh as usual.

[Hilijix]

Woo hoo! 40 chapters! Was going to post this a few hours earlier except some video game downloading cut into my time.

Today we shall learn about how Electabuzz/Electivire isn't just prideful, but eccentric as well!

Chapter 40: Electivire’s Enhancing Revenge

Four days earlier…

“This is nonsense! Absolute nonsense! I never imagined this would happen!” Electabuzz blabbered to himself as he was reading a newspaper at the CPFA gym. The headline was “Hitmonchan Becomes Champ.”

Ludicolo asked from a distance. “You mad, too?”

“Yes! Why must inflation be the cause of the raise of bagels?! They’ve increased over a hundred Pokédollars in the last year! I love bagels! Especially with the cream cheese already in them!”

“I was actually referring to that scumbag's victory as champion.”

“Huh?” Electabuzz looked at the front cover. “Oh hey, Hitmonchan became champion. Good for him.”

“Aren’t you frustrated at all?”

“Meh, so I lost to him lost. No big deal. I’d rather be mad at Chansey.”

“Didn’t you hear? Uh…” Ludicolo thought up of a lie on the spot. “Hitmonchan said he despises Electric types!”

“So? A lot of people hate us Electric types. We’re smart, cunning, handsome, and touching us sometimes paralyzes! We also only fear the Ground type!” Electabuzz grinned. “They’re all just jealous.”

“Well… Ah… He also said he hates the Elekid family!”

“Again, he’s secretly jealous.” Electabuzz started to windmill his arms. “We’re so awesome, we can make hair stand up by itself!”

“Um… He hates bagels.”

The newspaper hit the floor. “WHAT?! Who would hate bagels?! I’ve got to knock some sense into him!”

Ludicolo grimiced. “I can help you, you know…”

“Really? Thanks. I haven’t ever talked to you before, but you seem nice.”

“Have you ever considered evolving?”

“Yeah, actually. It’s just Electirizers are rare these days…”

“Yep…” Ludicolo was tossing a yellow box up into the air multiple times. “Rare indeed…”

***

“Today’s fantastic champion battle includes our current champion, who previously reclaimed his title against the destructive Glass Furret, Little Hitmonchan!”

As usual, the crowd hollered as the champion entered the arena, but hollered louder due to the golden tunic he was wearing.

“And… an energetic newcomer to the OU circuit, and in a new form and name… BLAST ELECTIVIRE!”

Electivire leaped onto the ring, charged and ready. “I SALUTE ELECTRICITY!”

Hitmonchan was confused. “…Salute electricity?”

“You… Hitmonchan… you dislike one of the best foods in the whole world!”

“Best foods… in the whole world?”

“I’m going to shockingly pound you into the ground for it! It’s unruly to not like some foods!”

“Un…ruly?”

Electivire was annoyed and got right into Hitmonchan’s face. “Why do you always have to repeat what I say?! Are you a Chatot or something?”

“Repeat… what you say?”

“Huh. That’s true, he does do that a lot…” Throh realized from the stands.

Lilligant nodded. “Maybe he just has to repeat some things he hears so he can understand them clearly.”

“Or maybe he’s just dull.”

“That’s always a possibility.”

Electivire was trying to mess with Hitmonchan’s mind at this point. “Your mom’s a Garbodor!”

“My mom is… Hah! I’m not a complete idiot! I know my mom’s a Gothitelle! A beautiful one, at that!”

“Hah!” The Electric type pointed. “Nah hah hah, nah hah hah hah! It’s funny because it’s not true. Gothitelles aren’t pretty in the slightest.”

The Fighting type tightened his fist. “Rrgh! Now you’re really on my nerves now… I just want to fight…”

“You don’t want to use me?” The Battle Logger cried.

“I know enough about this guy as it is. It’s that he’s going to receive the wrong end of my fists!”

“I think you’ve got that backwards!” Electivire smirked. “My line doesn’t learn the elemental punches just for show!”

“Things are really heating up now, folks!” Weezing called out. “Let’s get ready to… BRAWL!”

***ROUND 1***

Instead of a wimpy Thundershock attack, the Electric type twitched his head to send down a delightful Thunderbolt from the sky. Hitmonchan knew it was coming, dodged out of the way, and hit with a Fire Punch. However, absolutely nothing happened when he hit with his Thunderpunch.

“Hunh? How did you-“

Electivire was jumping up and down excitedly, as if he just went on a sugar rush. “Ikety! That felt good! Do that again!”

“If you’re saying that… I probably shouldn’t.”

“Oh come on!” Electivire swiftly executed a Low Kick at a much faster pace than before, then did it again, but missed this time. To avoid using Thunderpunch, the champ instead used Ice and Bullet Punches to the stomach.

“BURN!” Electivire randomly spouted out, and smacked the Fighting type in the face with a Fire Punch.

“Ah, I see you can do it too…”

“Tick-tick-tick!” Electivire seemed to sound even more pronounced than usual as he charged up a Thunderbolt. Hitmonchan Fire Punched him before he could send down the electric attack, and got a Star.

“SKY UPPERCUT!”

Electivire’s eyes widened, and kneeled down at an angle to avoid the special attack. “Ha HAH!”

“Oh yeah, I can’t aimlessly uppercut anymore.”

The match went on with Electivire using Thunderbolt again, and Hitmonchan once again getting a Star off of it. As the Electric type was knocked back by the punch, the champion used Dig as he was returning to do massive damage. Electivire then used two Low Kicks and then followed up with a Fire Punch. Hitmonchan successfully dodged and punched after each of those attacks, and after one Ice Punch…

“Shriek!” The Thunderbolt Pokémon grasped the cold wound, stepped back, and fell to the ring floor.

“One…two…three…four…”

Electivire carefully got back up, but not to continue the fight against Hitmonchan. He instead went up to the back of the ring, and for no reason at all started to use Thunderpunch multiple times… on his head. “Heh heh heh…”

“….. What are you doing?”

Suddenly, Electivire started screaming. “WIIIIIII!!!”

“… -ly? This isn’t a Mega Man fan fic!”

“-LD CHAAAAAARGE!” Electivire started flailing his arms while being charged in Electricity, ran towards Hitmonchan, and slammed hard against him, OHKOing the champ. “Ahah ha hack! That’s for hating bagels!”

“One…two…three…four…”

As Hitmonchan stood back up, he muttered “That felt like it was way stronger than it should’ve been… And I actually like bagels.”

“Really?”

“I’m not a big fan of donuts though…”

“YOU MUST DIE!” Hitmonchan dodged an incoming Fire Punch, and fought back with a few jabs. After countering a Thunderbolt for a Star, Raichu stopped the match.

“Round over!”

***INTERMISSION***

“WHY DO YOU HATE DONUTS? THAT’S WORSE THAN HATING BAGELS!” Electivire was very conservative on food.

“Do you know how bad they are for your body? I knew a Palpitoad in high school who ate dozen donuts every day, then one day he arrived to school as a giant fat toad monster! What about you? You were thin before you evolved.”

“Me? I am electric precision! If I had Thunder in my moveset, it would always hit!” Electivire gloated. “You? You’re a windmill who can’t even aim a Stone Edge properly.”

Hitmonchan blinked.“Windmill? Is that the best insult you can come up with? And I don’t even know Stone Edge!”

“Electric types hate windmills. They’re just like Drifloons- they spin around and around and around and they annoy us!”

“Hitmonchan! Hitmonchan!” Doc Throh seemed oddly enthusiastic.

“Doc! Doc!”

“Wait here! I’m gonna go get you, a chocolate bar.”

“Really? Thanks. I’m not exactly in top-“

“Wa hah hah hah hah!” Throh hollered. “I’m just kidding. I think I’ll get one for me.”

“Seriously? It seems everyone’s becoming jerks these days…”

“HIIII-YA!”

WHAM!

Lilligant successfully knocked Throh on the ground with Aiderod, the trusty companion piece of metal. She then scavenged a chocolate bar from him and gave it to Hitmonchan. “But seriously, Electivire has Motor Drive.”

“Motor Drive?” The Fighting type unwrapped the wrapper to the delectable treat. “Electivire can drive on motors?!”

“No, no, whenever he’s hit with an Electric type attack, his speed will go up, making him able to hit faster and be more unpredictable.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t use Thunderpunch on him.”

“Exactly.”

“Thanks for the info! But wait, how’d you know about that?”

“Haven’t you seen the show My Little Blitzle? I’m obsessed with that show! All the awesome Blitzle have that ability and use it to fight evil Terrakion and stuff. You should totally watch it!”

“Isn’t that girly?” Lilligant held up Aiderod, and Hitmonchan cringed. “N-never mind, I’ll watch it later.”

***ROUND 2***

“Boing… Boing… Heh heh heh, so fun.” Electivire was playing with the red tipped black tails from behind his shoulders.

“Uh… Are going to fight?”

“Hm? Oh yeah.” Electivire used a Thunderbolt, but Hitmonchan Fire Punched him before he could react for a Star. As he tried to recover back to his stance, the champion dug underground to use one of his special moves.

“DIG!”

“AUGH!” The Electric type tried to shake it off, but fell straight to the floor.

“One…two…three…four…five…” Electivire jumped back up, and started Thunderpunching himself again to begin executing Wild Charge.


“AUUUUUUUUGH! BLITZKRIEG!” Hitmonchan carefully noticed where he was going to Wild Charge, and dodged to the left to avoid it. He then gave the monster a flurry of Ice and Bullet Punches.

“What does “blitzkrieg” mean? I’m sure I’ve heard it in a song before, but…”

“BOP!” Electivire Fire Punched the opponent right in the face, then started to do a Low Kick… But didn’t and just faked the champion out. “Hah hah!” He then did it once more before actually attacking. “Hah hah, now I’m just messing with ya. Low Kick!”

Because the Electric type called out his attack, Hitmonchan easily dodged the kick and countered as necessary. Electivire started to use Thunderbolt, and by this time Hitmonchan had the timing down on how to counter it for a Star, so he Fire Punched before Electivire could use Thunderbolt. Afterwards, he stunned the opponent after another Low Kick, and used another Dig to KO him.

“One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…”

Electivire stood up once more and Thunderpunched himself some more, possibly giving himself brain damage at this point. “WILD! CHARGE!”

Hitmonchan dodged and countered as usual. Electivire tried faking him out but the Fighting type was onto him and punched him as he was faking him out twice in a row for two Stars. Electivire twitched as he began to Fire Punch. “Cukoo!”

“SKY UPPERCUT!”

The two attacks collided simultaneously, but the Sky Uppercut was just enough to KO the monster. “Ack!” Once again, Hitmonchan could just imagine the bones of Electivire exploding. The Electric type muttered one last grunt, and fell on his back.

“It’s over! It’s over! TKO! The champion is still Little Hitmonchan!”

Hitmonchan seemed fatigued, as he could barely hold up his arm in victory. Seemingly out of nowhere, Throh stood next to him and held his arm up higher. “He can always take a whoopin! Aha hah hah!”

***

“Am I dreamin’? Is this the real life? Is it just fantasy?”

“Uh, Lil. I think you smacked him with that piece of metal a bit too hard.”

“Sorry about that.”

Throh shook his head a few times to get back to his senses. “Woowee! You defended your title, baby! You didn’t lose it like ya did last time!”

“Well thanks for reminding me. Now anyway, who’s next on the rematch list?”

“It’s…” Lilligant shuddered. “Roserade. Ugh… You better beat her quick…”

“Any tips on that?”

“Spam Ice Punch. And when I say spam, I MEAN SPAM. We Grass types hate Ice with a passion. We also hate fire, birds, bugs, poison, and assorted herbivores…”

“Why do you hate her so much?”

“She just sickens me…” The Grass type explained. “Her species is one of the.... dare I say it- cuter Grass types around. They always have perfect hair, and they get slender legs instead of this fat, circlish thing we Lilligants have to lug around. Plus they come in deceptive male and female forms. Oh yeah, I knew one of them in high school. Her Poison type took over her Grass type. She was one of the naughtiest girls I’ve ever seen.”

Throh chuckled. “Hah, did she have Rest in her moveset? Aha hah hah!”

“Yeah, actually… She liked using Petal Dance and then Rest… If you know what I mean.”

Hitmonchan was clueless. “I have no idea on what you’re talking about.”

“…”

“I was a very sheltered boy, okay?”

“Who watched the CPFA?”

[ESPNfanatic35]

Another hilarious chapter. This may be my favorite joke thusfar:

“Didn’t you hear? Uh…” Ludicolo thought up of a lie on the spot. “Hitmonchan said he despises Electric types!”

“So? A lot of people hate us Electric types. We’re smart, cunning, handsome, and touching us sometimes paralyzes! We also only fear the Ground type!” Electabuzz grinned. “They’re all just jealous.”

“Well… Ah… He also said he hates the Elekid family!”

“Again, he’s secretly jealous.” Electabuzz started to windmill his arms. “We’re so awesome, we can make hair stand up by itself!”

“Um… He hates bagels.”

The newspaper hit the floor. “WHAT?! Who would hate bagels?! I’ve got to knock some sense into him!”

The "My Little Blitzle" thing also had me laughing. Is Doc Throh secretly a Bronie? Or in this case a Blitzie? Lol. As always the fight scene was great and the moves and quotes stuck very true with the video game. And Hitmonchan better beat up on Roserade to make Lilligant happy! She has turned out to be a surprisingly very funny character. Probably the funniest with the exception of Throh. Well done on this chapter.

[Hilijix]

Another hilarious chapter.

The "My Little Blitzle" thing also had me laughing. Is Doc Throh secretly a Bronie? Or in this case a Blitzie? Lol. As always the fight scene was great and the moves and quotes stuck very true with the video game. And Hitmonchan better beat up on Roserade to make Lilligant happy! She has turned out to be a surprisingly very funny character. Probably the funniest with the exception of Throh. Well done on this chapter.

Lilligant definitely likes it, but do Hitmonchan and Throh do? And how does it compare to Entrainment? We'll see soon enough.


A bit of a small announcement; I'm postponing this weekend's chapter to next weekend (June 9th) for some things:

First, I do want to get a bit ahead in the fic, since I enjoy being at least a chapter ahead in case I want to change something later. Second, I have some community service (six hours) I'm going to do this weekend, and that's the only part of school I'm behind in. Third, June 9th is my 1-Year Serebii Anniversary! Technically due to Leap Year it would've been June 8th, but you get the picture.

Thank you for your patience, and it show definitely be rewarded in the future- Roserade's fight will be full of hilarity!

[Hilijix]

Woo hoo! One year anniversary! (Of my account, not the fic, but I do plan to do something for that as well.) You wait and you shall receive!

Chapter 41: Roserade’s Coney Island Disco Palace Revenge

Two weeks earlier…

“Hey, Rampardos!” Machamp yelled out loud, which wasn’t really anything different than how he usually spoke. The two were at speaking at the CPFA Gym, where a few other Pokémon were training.

“What is it, Machamp?” Rampardos asked in response.

“Have you heard of the massive Shiny Stone sale on Terrakazon?”

“Terrakazon?” Rampardos unnaturally raised his voice. “You mean the online store that sells tons of items from a ton of different Pokémon?”

“Yes! That store! A girlfriend of mine told me that Shiny Stones are super cheap on there! Just a piece of useful information for you!”

“Awesome! What Pokémon evolve from a Shiny Stone again?”

“Uh………” Machamp scratched his head for a while, as he actually didn’t know. “Um… Heracross, Feebas, Seadra, Latias, and Mr. Mime… Oh! And Roselia!”

Roselia, who was just passing by, heard the whole conversation. “What?”

“Yeah! Shiny Stones evolve Roselia into Roserade!”

“Yeah! Totally! I have no reason to get one of those though- I’m already fully evolved.” Machamp turned to the Grass/Poison type. “Wassup, Roselia? We were just talking about how your species uses a Shiny Stone to evolve into the ever-so beautiful Roserade.”

“Ever-so beautiful?”

“Oh yes, their dashing white hair, their fast reflexes, their piercing eyes, they are magnificent among Grass types! Why, I-”

“Hello everyone!” Metagross levitated in, as if it was staged. “I have to put my laptop down here for a moment. I need to go polish my…” Metagross paused to think of a word. “…petunias! Yeah, petunias! I am going to leave it right here, with it on the Terrakazon website, because I was going to purchase cords on it later! Expect me to get back in… half an hour! Goodbye everyone!”

“Goodbye, Metagross!”

“I hope you have fun polishing your petunias!” Rampardos snickered. As Metagross levitated away from his laptop, Roselia had a sly grin on her face. She slowly reached towards the laptop to quickly make an account and purchase a Shiny Stone.

***

“Come on… Come on…” Roselia was waiting impatiently at her mailbox for her delivery. The confirmation email specified that the stone would arrive in about four days, and four days have gone by. She started to frown, until she looked up towards the several buildings of the city. “Maybe I should go take a walk.”

As the Grass/Poison type passed through the city, she noticed a lot of posters advertising a dance studio. “Huh. I just walked past here twenty minutes ago, and I’ve never seen all these posters here before.”

As she passed by a small building with a see-through glass wall, she heard a loud voice from inside. “Spin, my students, spin!” A Donphan instructed her classmates on a fantastic disco dance “Use that Speed stat of yours to your advantage!”

“Woah…” Roselia was amazed at the swiftness and grace the Pokémon used while doing disco dances. She then thought for a moment, and looked up at the name of the building. “Maybe I should… Yeah! I should!” She ran towards the door to the Kids of Disco Dance Studio and spoke to the receptionist. “Excuse me! I’d like to ask a question!”

Nearly all the students stopped spinning to look. “What is it?”

“…Where do I sign up?”

***

“Hey Raichu!” Hitmonchan called to the referee. “Have you ever watched My Little Blitzle?”

“Uh… No. Doesn’t than sound a bit girly to you?”

“It does at first glance, but when you actually watch it, there’s a bunch of manly factors that come into play. I bet Roserade would really like it. But on another topic, where IS she?” The champion seemed very impatient. “Wasn’t I the one who was late the first time we fought?”

“Yeah, you were!” Throh called out from the stands.

“Something tells me she’s going to do some sort of flashy entrance…” Lilligant predicted. Her prediction was right on the spot.

Amazingly, Roserade ran from the audience and did a frontal dive into the arena. “WHEEEEEEEEEEEE-” In what seemed to be slow motion, the audience members took as many photographs as they could, as Roserade took all of the audience’s attention, though mostly the males.

Lilligant and Throh stared at the flying Grass/Poison type dive over them. “…Words elude me right now.”

“Got that right…”

“-EEEEEEEEEEEE!” Roserade stuck the landing with precision. “Tell me, champion, what am I?”

Hitmonchan was speechless for a moment. “Uh… Freaky?”

“FABULOUS! That’s what I am, fabulous! I’ll spell it out for ya, FAB-U-LOUS!” Roserade spun around towards the audience. “Aren’t I, fans?!”

“YYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH!” Her fans were way more excited than Electivire’s fans. Some were even commenting individually.

“You go, girl!” A Braviary gawked.

“Poison him gently!” A Forretress yelled.

“Put status effects on him!” An Eelektrik called out.

“Vine Whip him good, baby!” A female Cradily called out, who got weird looks from the Pokémon around her. “…What?”

“So, Roserade Quick…” Hitmonchan crossed his arms. He was clearly unamused. “What’s the deal of your new gimmick?”

“Deal? My deal is the delicacy of DISCO DANCE!” The Grass/Poison type did an amazing spin, which may have made the champion slightly nauseous. “Bye the bye, I’m not Roserade Quick. I’ve changed my title to the Ever-So Fabulously Stylish Disco Roserade of Beyond the Flower Patches!”

“That’s a bit long, don’t you think? I think I’ll just call you Disco Roserade.” The champion picked up his Battle Logger and commanded it to scan the opponent.

“Ever-So Fabulously Stylish Disco Roserade of Beyond the Flower-“

“SERIOUSLY?!” Hitmonchan turned off the Battle Logger, and looked up to Roserade. “…Have you grown? I feel like you’re two thirds of my size now.”

“Of course! Pokémon always get taller when they evolve, right?”

“Well, I knew this Porygon…”

“Shut up.”

“Fine!” Hitmonchan assumed a battle position. “Let’s dance!”

“LET’S GET READY TO RUM-BLE!!!” The Weezing screamed at the top of his lungs.

***ROUND 1***

Roserade began the fight by striking a dance pose, which even though the crowd was amzed, Hitmonchan simply Ice Punched her out of it for a Star. He immediately went for her special move.

“SKY UPPERCUT!”

“Owaaa!” Roserade was too late to dodge and took the hit. “Ow! That hurt! Why don’t you loosen up for such a pretty girl?”

“Uh… I’m not going to answer that question because the media Watchogs and Houndooms will attack me in fear of double standards and sexism.”

“Excuse me?”

The camera man Magnezone, who was recording the whole thing, slowly nodded. “Good choice of words there!”

“You’ve already got the Holons residents mad with you. You don’t want the entire second gender against you.” Gardevoir mentioned.

“Poison Jab!” Back at the fight, Roserade shifted to one side and attempted to use Poison Jab, but Hitmonchan simply dodged out of the way and countered. Then, a split second after the attack, she launched several explosive seeds at Hitmonchan with Seed Bomb. “Seed Bomb!” The champion couldn’t dodge in time as the move was way faster than before. He then dodged another Poison Jab and countered again, but in mid-stun, Hitmonchan remembered something.

“Wait… didn’t Lilligant say something about spamming Ice Punch?” The Fighting type changed his line of attack to Ice Punches, and in just three hits, Roserade tumbled backward and onto the ring floor.

“Hoo ho!”

“One…two…three…”

“Oh…” Roserade forced herself back up, but just as quick as before.

“You seem to not be that different than last time… You’re still calling your attacks out loud!”

“Yeah well… So do you! You always go-” Roserade impersonated a bad Hitmonchan voice. “Sky Uppercut! And… Dig!”

The champion was instantly offended. “I do NOT sound like that! You made me sound like a Gliscor! Gliscor have terrible voices!"

“HEY!” A Gliscor from the audience was instantly offended, and threw a pie towards the ring, except he missed by a long shot and hit Throh instead.

"Besides, I only do it for my special moves. You do it for all your moves!”

“Well…” Roserade spun around. “What dooes THE AUDIENCE THINK?!” Several deep conversations occurred within the audience. Some even argued in a fist fight. “Huh… I guess they’re not too good with descisions…” Roserade turned around back to battle position. “Well whatever happens I still think you’re-“ Hitmonchan had had enough and Ice Punched her for a Star at this point.

“Oh, boo! You’re no fun!”

“SKY UPPERCUT!”

Roserade pretended to be scared, but simply avoided it. “UGH! –Gotcha! I guess I’ll have to show you what I really learned at the Dance Studio!” The Grass/Poison type began to roll her fists, err, flowers, similar to how Rampardos rolled his fists. She then stopped for a second, and began spinning around three times, smacking the champion with her arms. “PE-TAL DANCE!”

“Ouch… I guess you have improved then…”

“And one!” Out of the blue, Roserade did a jumping jack, leaned back, and shot out a Sludge Bomb, surprisingly KOing him. “Sludge- BOMB!”

“One…two…three…four…”

“That actually hurt a lot…” As the Grass/Poison type was taunting, Hitmonchan used Ice Punch a few times for multiple Stars. He then dodged a Seed Bomb and countered accordingly. Roserade then attempted to grab the champion with Vine Whip, but missed and was hit for a Star. The Cradily in the stands was very disappointed.

“Vine Whip em’ good- aw come on!”

The challenger then attempted a Giga Drain, which was a stronger version of Mega Drain, but she completely missed and was countered. As she began to roll her fists, Roserade couldn’t help but critique the champion’s disco knowledge. “Y’know, I don’t think you know the true power of disco. At all. I can teach you about disco fever, since I-“

“SKY UPPERCUT!” Hitmonchan unleashed a level 3 Sky Uppercut, doing more than a KO, as it seemingly instantly defeated Roserade. She started to fly all across the ring again, smashing into all of its corners, until she toppled onto the floor.

“Ouch…”

Raichu was didn’t notice the defeated Grass/Poison type on the floor for about five seconds. “….. Oh, um, sorry, I was just looking at my watch to check the time. Did uh, something exciting just happen?”

“I defeated Roserade.”

“Oh. Well that’s nice…” Raichu just then remembered his duty. “Wait! Ahem! TKO!”

“Actually it was just a regular KO.”

“Right, right. Knock out! The winner is Little Hitmonchan!”

***

“Woo-wee! You’re still staying on top! Take it all in, kid! Remember what it feels like to-“ As Throh was giving his weekly words of wisdom with pie on his face, Lilligant was throwing a middle party in the background.

“Yes! Ha-ha! Roserade is a rug now, nyeh-heh-heh-heh-heh, heh! Come on, sing with me!”

As he looked between the Fighting and Grass type, Hitmonchan sighed. “I have some weird friends…”

From the hallway, Magnezone and Gardevoir decided to enter the conversation. “Hey, good show there, man! It was captured beautifully on camera!”

“Yes, most impressive. You completely wilted that flower.”

“Thanks guys. It may have been just me, but I feel like Roserade was weaker than she was the last time I fought her. Last time I fought, we went into the second round, but this time it was all in one round.”

“Well hey, you might’ve done more training.” Magnezone tapped the champion on the shoulder. “Oh, and by the way, there’s something really important you need to know about.”

“What? The Axew species is going extinct due to the sudden increase of Piplup in the Unova region?”

“What? No!” Gardevoir started laughing. “That was completely NOT on the newspaper…this week…” She then whispered a reminder to Magnezone. “Note to self: Champion is secretly part Psychic.”

“Actually, a very famous Pokémon has heard of your exploits and wants to challenge you!”

“Really? Whoa! Who is it? Is it Mewk Twoson? I hope not, because I’ve heard some terrible things about him…”

“Close. It’s his cousin. The infamous-“

“And stunningly attractive…” Gardevoir couldn’t help but sigh.

“Mew Dream!”

“……………….”

“…”

“……….Who?”

[ESPNfanatic35]

Another hilarious chapter starting with the NOT so subtle suggestion that Roselia should get a Shiny Stone to evolve. I always did find it funny and helpful when Disco Kid would yell out his attacks as he threw them so I'm glad you incorporated that with Roserade.

Also nice seeing Hitmonchan give My Little Blitzle a chance!

“So, Roserade Quick…” Hitmonchan crossed his arms, unamused. “What’s the deal of your new gimmick?”

Just a small suggestion here, I think "Hitmonchan crossed his arms. He was clearly not amused." or something of that sort sounds better than using the word "unamused". I'm not sure if that's a real word or not, but something else there may sound better.

As he looked between the Fighting and Grass type, Hitmonchan sighed. “I have some weird friends…”

Weird, but HILARIOUS. Wish I had more friends like them. And Mew Dream, huh? Can't wait to see what happens there! Nice work as always.

[Hilijix]

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Just a small suggestion here, I think "Hitmonchan crossed his arms. He was clearly not amused." or something of that sort sounds better than using the word "unamused". I'm not sure if that's a real word or not, but something else there may sound better.

Ah, good find. Fixed.
 

Chapter 42: Blissey’s Metallic Revenge

One week earlier…

“Mmm, that was delicious!” Chansey proclaimed as she walked out of Sudoplantation with her friend Roserade.

“It totally was!” The Grass/Poison type agreed.

“You know, you really gained an appetite after you evolved. When you were just a little Roselia, you couldn’t even eat a third of what you had tonight!”

“Well, disco does give you an appetite.”

“How did you evolve, anyway?”

“The internet.”

“Ah, the power of science is staggering. Did you know that infared connections are among the rage of wireless devices these days?”

“Infared?” Sneakily, Roserade checked her Battle Logger when Chansey wasn’t looking. “Isn’t that a wavelength that is greater than the red end of the light spectrum, but has less of a wavelength that your average microwave?”

“Uh… Yeah. How did you know that?”

“I aced AP Biology.” Roserade lied, as she got a C+ in regular Biology. As she looked back at her Normal type friend, her eyes then wided. “Woah! Chansey, you’re evolving!”

“What? I am?” Indeed, Chansey looked down to see her body flash a bright white. As she began to grow, she gained large bangs and wings. “I am!”

“Congratulations! You evolved from Chansey to Blissey!”

“I must’ve been so happy from the meal that I evolved… Awesome!” Blissey demonstrated her new form by fluttering off the ground for a few seconds. “Hey, didn’t Hitmonchan say as the champion that he would fight all of us again?”

“Yeah, he did. He’s naïve yet handsome at the same time!” Roserade sighed.

“Oh come on honey, why not crush on that mega muscle man… So powerful…” Blissey sort of melted as she referred to Machamp. “…But when he fights me again, I’ll need to find a way to protect my egg from falling out of my pouch… He took advantage of that so hard and-“

“Ahem!” A Bastiodon randomly walked up to the two fully evolved females. “I apologize, but I couldn’t help but overhear you about your egg problem.”

“Uh… Ok...”

“I knew a Blissey back in high school who got bullied a lot by being abused by that same tactic. Do you know what she did?” The two shook their heads no. “She taped an iron guard onto her stomach to protect it. And it worked.”

“No kidding?”

“I’m serious. Not even a Miltank’s Rollout could break through it. So, if you’d like to get other to stop beating up on your egg, try protecting it with something.”

“That sounds crazy….. crazy enough to work! Thank you!”

“Any time!” The Bastiodon sauntered towards the back of a building, where Metagross was secretly watching. “That was what you wanted, right?”

“Couldn’t have gone better. Thanks for the help, Bastiodon.”

“It was the least I could do after you fixed my computer at the family reunion.”

Back with Blissey and Roserade, the two were pondering what could be strong enough to protect a shell. “Hmm… I’ve heard manhole covers are pretty defensive.”

“Nah, those are too ugly.” Blissey turned back to Sudoplantation, and then smiled. “Wait… I think I have an idea…”

***

“Hey, Blissey! What’s up? Why are you looking away from me like that!” In the ring, Hitmonchan noticed Blissey completely turned around, facing away from her opponent. At the most unexpected time, she slowly spun around and glared.

“DRAMATIC BLISSEY!”

“Whoa! You scared me for a moment there.”

“You SHOULD be!” Blissey turned her entire body around, revealing that her egg pouch was covered by an enormous frying pan that was held up by duct tape. She then screamed an outrageous battle cry. “RAAA!”

“You seem a little out of it, Bliss. You’re usually all perky and nice.”

“I’ve been having agitating dreams lately…”

“You should take some Awakenings for that.”

“Now let’s…” Blissey paused for a moment, and checked her head. “Wait…” She clapped a few times, and a few Raticate dashed in, holding an enormous silver crown with several gold jewels implanted in it, and placed it on Blissey’s head. It ridiculously was a foot high. “Thanks guys. I’ll give you some more grapes later. Oh by the way, I made sure that this crown was fall-proof. I had some dudes put super glue on it.”

“Yes, but now it can’t come off. Ever. You’ll be walking around with a crown on your head for the rest of your life.”

“So? What’s your point?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Hitmonchan held out his Battle Logger towards the new opponent.

“I finally get to bio a new opponent. Hip hip hooray. Now ahem… Queen Blissey. Record is 31 wins, 18 losses, 19 KOs. Height is 6’ 16’, weight is 199 lbs, and age is 37. Nature is either Quirky, Gentle, or Relaxed. Relationship status is single, but has been broken up with seven assorted Rock, Flying, and Dragon types in the past. High school records indicate that Queen Blissey could not pass Physics, but was a master of Art History.”

“I know how she feels- Physics was a beast. … Forgive me for asking, but how do you know all this stuff?”

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” Hitmonchan laughed, but stopped laughing as soon as the Battle Logger extended out a pocket knife out of its scanner. “You laugh, but I’m being serious…”

“Come on! Let’s fight already! I’m hungry! And you won’t like me when I’m hungry… Do you want to know what happens when I’m hungry?”

“Why? You’re always hungry.”

“BLISSEY SMASH!”

***ROUND 1***

The simple Normal type began by using the powerful Double Edge attack, and while the champion easily dodged, when he tried to attack, the frying pan completely resisted the Ice and Bullet Punches. She then shot out a shocking Thunderbolt at her opponent, but missed and was punched in the face. Instead of leaving her stomach open, she closed one of her eyes in response to being hit.

“Ow!” When Hitmonchan tried hitting the stomach like usual, it brought her back to her senses, and caused her to Ice Beam right back.

“Hmm, you really got over your weak points this time.” The Fighting type muttered as he dodged a Double-Edge, and Fire Punched the enemy in the face. Hitmonchan attempted hitting the frying pan to an angle, and it seemed to knock one of the duct tape straps off.

“Huh? Oh well, there’s still two more straps holding it up.” Blissey attempted an Ice Beam again, and when Fire Punched once, Hitmonchan used a ThunderPunch to lower her defenses, and once again attacked the tape straps. “Hmm? There’s only one left. Fine!” Blissey attempted a Seismic Toss, which Hitmonchan easily ducked to avoid. However, the Normal type had a trick up her sleave and instantly unleashed a killer blast once the champion got his bearings, KOing him.

“What?! HYPER BEAM?!” Hitmonchan yelled before he fell the floor. Blissey was bouncing around as Raichu stepped in to count.

“One…two…three…four…” Once the fight continued, Blissey used Double Edge again, but failed to hurt the champion as he countered by knocking off the rest of the tape holding up the frying pan, and it promptly fell on her foot.

“Ouchies! That wasn’t very nice! That actually hurt, you know! You’re gonna pay! Seriously, I paid a lot of money for that frying pan!”

“Frying pans are getting more expensive these days…” The fight continued as while Blissey was trying to grab the frying pan that fell, Hitmonchan Ice Punched her in the stomach for a Star. “SKY UPPERCUT!”

“Hmm? Ack! Squee!” The uppercut once again lifted the Normal type into the air, but she fluttered down without hesitation. She then began to use a Double-Edge, but when Hitmonchan attacked, she blocked and then Ice Beamed back as a counter. Blissey did it once more when she used Thunderbolt. However, when Hitmonchan managed to counter an incoming Ice Beam, it knocked the egg out of her pouch, leaving the champion to punch as much as he could.

“Just like old times!” Once Blissey recovered her egg, she used Ice Beam again, but once again, the same end result occurred. The Normal type attempted to use her Seismic Toss and Hyper Beam combo again. Hitmonchan ducked to avoid the seismic attack, but when he ducked to avoid the Hyper Beam, it didn’t work, and made him on the floor again.

“One…two…three…four…five…”

“Uck… When did you learn Hyper Beam?”

“A fortune cookie taught me.” Blissey used two Thunderbolts and an Ice Beam before the round ended, and Hitmonchan make Blissey’s egg fall two more times but got hit by the Ice Beam.

“Round over!”

***INTERMISSION***

“…Huh? My crown looks crooked. RATICATE!” A few more Raticate ran up the large Normal type and moved her crown about a centimeter to the left. “YEAH! Now that’s what I call royalty.”

“Hey, Hitmonchan!”

Hitmonchan sighed. “What is it this time? You’re not going to taunt me again with a chocolate bar, are you?”

“No, no. I don’t want to receive another metal bar to the face. It’s just… I have to tell you something incredibly important.”

“What? You left the oven on at home?”

“Uh… I hope not. But hey, listen to me! Join Club Nintendo today, Chan!”

“…Wasn’t it called the Nintendo Fun Club before?”

“JUST JOIN IT TODAY! I WANT MORE COINS!”

“Seriously dude, join it!” Lilligant added on. “You get free stuff!”

“Okay, okay, fine. I will. So, any tips for defeating Blissey? She’s like a piggy that just won’t die!”

“Hey, hey, don’t be offensive to those Tepig out there! Don’t forget you’ve got an Emboar you need to fight later on! But my best hint is that Blissey’s not all that nice sometimes! She’ll try and trick you… somehow.”

***ROUND 2***

The battle immediately continued with Blissey attempting a Seismic Toss, and then a Hyper Beam. However, the champion ducked and dodged this time, and was allowed to get several hits off of the opponent.

“What? How did you-”

“I ask myself that everyday. And the answer? AWESOMENESS.”

“Eh heh…heh…heh…heh…..” Blissey started to zone out and drool a bit.

“Huh? What’s the matter?” When the champion didn’t get an answer, he Fire Puncher her in the face for a Star and used a Sky Uppercut for massive damage.

“I must test you some more!” Blissey screeched in a more dramatic tone. “PSYCHIC!” Oddly, Blissey used a Psychic type move, creating a psychic blast, which the champion was caught off guard by, and was easily defeated in one shot.

“UGH! Hooo…” Hitmonchan was about to fall to the floor, but he caught himself an executed a Determination Boost. “URRRRRAAAAA!” He staggered towards the pink puff and wailed on her as much as possible, KOing her instead.

“WOAH!” Nearly everyone in the stadium exploded in surprise.

“Woah… Just no…” Blissey was stumbling towards the edge of the arena, where the same Gorebyss had front seats.

“Uh oh, not again!” The Gorebyss began to move away, but the large Normal type still fell onto her.

“Knockout! The winner and champion is still Little Hitmonchan!”

“Phew… That was a close one…”

For the second time, Throh stood next to him and held his arm up higher. “He can always take a whoopin! Aha hah hah!”

***

“You’re on a roll, baby!”

“Is that roll sourdough?!”

“It can be whatever type of roll you want! One, two… Who knows how many times you can defend this title in a row?! … And now, I’m hungry for some rolls. Someone should invent rolls, except, they have chocolate inside! They’d be called… Chocolate Rolls! Fea hah hah ha!”

As Throh began to dream of the combination of rolls and chocolate Lilligant spoke. “But seriously, what move was that? The one at the end?”

“Close Combat. I learned it last night after watching some videos on the internet.”

“Hey, that’s cool dude, but you know what’s more important?”

“The fact that I’m still the champ?”

“No! Club Nintendo! Join it today!”

[ESPNfanatic35]

Ugh, the dreaded rematch with stomach protection. That was a HARD level on the Wii game. Blissey is a great character for that part and she had some surprisingly powerful moves. And it's funny how she has the hots for Machamp.

The fight scene and comedy were spot on like always. Throh just can't let go of his Club Nintendo endorsement, can he? Now he's even got Lilligant on his side...

Good for the champ defending his title.

[Hilijix]

    Spoiler:- Response to Reviews:

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Ugh, the dreaded rematch with stomach protection. That was a HARD level on the Wii game. Blissey is a great character for that part and she had some surprisingly powerful moves. And it's funny how she has the hots for Machamp.

The fight scene and comedy were spot on like always. Throh just can't let go of his Club Nintendo endorsement, can he? Now he's even got Lilligant on his side...

Good for the champ defending his title.

I agree with you- I do not like fighting TD King Hippo at all. There's just so few Star opportunities I can pull off with him.

Seriously, join Club Nintendo today! Even though the Coin Values have gone down this year, join it today!

 

Sorta had something to do this morning, so that's why this chapter's a few hours later than usual. Ah well, enjoy! I had some fun with this chapter.

Chapter 43: Eternal Dreamland

“Whose idea was it to go to the park today of all days? I’m almost outta chocolate!” Hitmonchan, Throh, and Lilligant decided to take a break after doing some rigorous. They were taking a delightful stroll through their nearby park. The sun was shining down, the Taillow were singing, the Pachirisu were searching the land for nuts- all seemed right with the world.

“I forgot. But hey, it never hurts to go outside every once in a while… I feel like this is an infomercial or something.”

“Come on guys, why don’t you enjoy nature? And I’m not just telling you this because I’m a Grass type,” Lilligant noted, despite telling them that specifically because she was a Grass type. “Take in the views, and breathe! Stop and smell the flowers! That includes me, by the way.”

“We don’t even have noses… The cartoonists never gave us a-” Throh heard a loud grunt in the distance. “Oh hey, look over there!”

“HRGH!” A young Audino was attempting to carry a sack which may have weighed several pounds. She placed it down to pant a few times, then attempted to carry the sack once more. “HRRRRRGH!” The three rushed over to the troubled Normal type, since no other Pokémon were around at the time. “These bags are too heavy. Could someone strong please carry them to that warehouse?”

“Is there chocolate inside that bag?”

“No.”

“Then I’m not interested.” Throh ignored the Audino and stepped away. Before the Audino could begin to shed a single tear, Hitmonchan volunteered.

“I can help.” The Fighting type picked up the heavy bag as if it was an oversized plum. Lilligant and Audino slowly followed him for about eight yards, until he reached the warehouse.

“Oh Hitmonchan,” Lilligant rubbed her arms together. “You’re so strong, and willing to follow orders…”

“I am, aren’t I?”

“Thank you…” The Audino bowed. “My reward for you is… a request.”

“Aw man,” Hitmonchan sighed. “It was a request just to reward me with another request? Lame. What is it?”

“My request is…” The Audino’s head slowly tilted upward, and her eyes turned a bloody red, as her voice changed into a dramatic, low voice. “Your power… I want it… NOW…”

“My power? Is that something I can just, give away?” Hitmonchan elbowed Lilligant. “What is with this girl? She’s talking about nonsense, isn’t she?”

As Hitmonchan turned to the Grass type, she also had deep, red, bloody eyes. “I think you should give her your power.” Lilligant said in a monotone voice, as she slowly held up a metallic bar. The two females slowly started to close in on the Fighting type.

“Fwaaaaaaahhh!”

“Fwaaaaaaaaahhh! Huh?” Hitmonchan woke up from a terrible nightmare. He was breathing heavily as he slowly blinked his eyes to confirm he was awake. He felt his bedsheet, and it wasn’t wet. Suddenly, Throh jumped out from hallway with a shovel.

“Bibbidibobbidiboo! Where’s the zombies?!”

“Fwaaaaaahhh!”

***

As Hitmonchan and company were heading to the CPFA to chat with some of the fighters, the lead Fighting type was forcefully dragging himself like a decapitated troll. “I am so tired…”

“Oh, did you see the Entrainment marathon last night as well? It was killer, and the bonus commentary really cleaned up some loose ends.”

“There was a marathon?! DANG IT! I was saving multiple packs of chocolate for such an occasion! Now I’ll have to wait until I get season 8 on DVD!”

“I thought we already have season 8.”

“No, no. That one was the one that has the controversial Barboach episode. I’m saving that in its plastic so I can sell it for thousands of dollars in a few years. Plus, this DVD has extended commentary and it has subtitles!”

“…Anyways… I got creeped out by Mr. Chocolate Guy here after a nightmare. I really need some sleep…”

“…Why’d you come with us then? You could’ve just slept home and taken a break.”

“I was thinking I could sleep on one of the benches. The gym actually has some really comfy benches…”

“Excuse me good sirs and madam!” A large and incredibly rare Pokémon stomped up to the group, and seemed to be in need of dire assistance. “Do you have the time?”

“Woah! It’s a Heatran! You don’t see those every day!” Hitmonchan reached into his backpack and used his Battle Logger to scan the creature.

“Heatran, the Lava Dome- … Wait, this isn’t a fighter! Why are you making me scan this monster?”

“Well… Heatran are very powerful Pokémon, and…”

“Battle Loggers are designed to provide information about fighters of the CPFA, as well as provide entertainment on rare occasions. They are NOT supposed to be an illustrated Pokémon Encyclopedia! That’s what the Internet is for.”

“Well excuse me…”

“Anyhow, it’s 9:22 in the morning. Why are you in so much of a rush?”

“YIKES! I don’t have much time!” The Heatran was shaking. “I REALLY got to go to this conference in eight minutes! It’s about the future of my Sleep Pills!”

“Sleep Pills?”

“Yeah, they’re like a Jigglypuff’s song in liquid form combined with a touch of Whirlipede hair. They can bring anyone to sleep in an instant!” The legendary turned to Hitmonchan. “Looks like you’re a bit sleepy, sonny! Why don’t you take a sample?” The Fire/Steel type handed the champion a pill, but it looked slightly larger than the average pill.

“Thank you very much!” Hitmonchan clenched the pill in his hand.

“I’ve heard that not many legendaries are that nice to non-legendaries.” Lilligant began. “Most either act like they’re supergodlike, fight with each other, tease each other, or sit on their bum for hundreds of years waiting for someone to talk to them. You must be one of those exceptions!”

“Yeah…” Heatran looked away and chuckled. “Eh heh heh… Exceptions… Anyhow, I needtogonow, BYE!” The Heatran as fast as its strong, powerful legs could take it.

“I’ll definitely take this when I’m there.”

***

“So, Rampardos was walking by the candy shop at eleven at night…” Gyarados began to announce to Throh, Lilligant, Weavile, Rampardos, Metagross, Machamp, and Tyranitar, who were sitting around in a circle. “He wanted some last minute gum drops before he went to bed…”

“Gum drops? Why gum drops? Chocolate is the more superior-“

“Shhh! Gum drops are delicious!”

“Anyhow, he purchased a bag of gum drops, and left the store. Once he went towards the street however, he slipped on a bunch of jawbreakers and broke his back, so Rampardos died.”

“What?! How could I have fallen to jawbreakers?!” Rampardos screamed. “I STOMP on jawbreakers! I break their jaws!”

“By the way, the doctor was too busy eating candy canes in the background to help. Now, who do you guys think is the Mafia?”

“InominateMachamp!”

“You always nominate Machamp!” Tyranitar exclaimed. “I nominate Weavile! He’s always the first to nominate!”

“I nominate Lilligant!”

“Wait, why am I being nominated? I haven’t said anything!”

“Because of that exact reason! It's always the quiet ones!”

“Ok, so Machamp, Weavile, and Lilligant? Anyone else? No? Okay! Machamp, do you have an alibi?”

“Why would I eat candy?! I wouldn’t be nurturing my dashing physique!” Machamp flexed his right arm. “Besides, if I were to go get sweets- which I wouldn’t- I’d go for ice cream.”

“It’s confirmed! Machamp loves ice cream!” Lilligant reached for her phone.

“Shut up.”

“Weavile! What’s your alibi? You always seem hyper.”

“Erm…..” “I…I… I have a 9 o’ clock curfew! Rampardoswasoutat11!”

“Hmm… What candy store would be open at eleven, anyway?”

“Let’s not question the schedules of candy stores.” The Water/Flying type turned to the last possible victim. “Lilligant! Your alibi.”

“Why would I be at a candy store at 11 at night? I never go out after dark alone.”

“Hmm… Ok! Who votes Machamp?” Only Weavile raised his hand. “One? Ok. Who votes Weavile?” Tyranitar and Lilligant raised their hands. “Oh ho ho, two… Who votes Lilligant?” Machamp, Metagross, and Throh raised their hands. “Welp, looks like Lilligant is dead.”

“YEAH!”

“Lilligant, were you the Mafia?”

“No! I was the DOCTOR!” The Grass type slammed her card down. “You guys are so mean… Mafia isn’t fun…”

“It’s a shame Hitmonchan didn’t want to play.” Throh looked back at his apprentice lying down on a bench, snoring.

“Zzz…”

“Everyone go to sleep!” Gyarados announced.

BZZT! The entire room became completely black.

“Oh no! A power outage!”

“Zzz…”

“Zzz…”

“Zzz…”

“Zzz…”

“…….. Huh? Where am I? There’s darkness everywhere.”

*COUGH*

“Who’s there? Where am I?”

“Sorry, getting over a cold. Allow me to introduce myself.” A snap sound was made, and a spotlight shined on a Pokémon. “I am Darkrai. The ultimate ruler of dreams.”

“Darkrai? Why are you here? … Wait! This is just a dream! I can wake up!” Hitmonchan shut his eyes for five seconds, and then opened them.

The only thing he could see was Darkrai.

“I am locking your conscience… You cannot wake up…”

“Why are you here?!” The Fighting type shouted. “Why are you in my dream?!”

“All of your nightmares have been my searches to find a new member for my troupe of fighters. I need someone to fall back to if my plans don’t go as planned. I’m a thief, you see.

“Wait, are you the same Darkrai that stalked Dare Weavile?”

“Stalked? I’d think track would be a better word. But yes, I was originally going for him, but after I saw one of your fights, you seemed exceptionally stronger. I did some mind-screwing with that pink blob a while ago to truly test your skills.”

“Blissey?”

“Affirmative. So, I give you one-” The legendary coughed. “… one chance to join. I’ll fill you in on the details later… So, what do you say?”

Hitmonchan stared as the Dark type reached out his arm faintly. The Fighting type started to run with his fists up. “No way, dark dude!” The Fighting type leapt up to give the enemy a ThunderPunch, but the punch just phased through him. “What?”

Darkrai popped up from behind him. “In dreams, I am a ubiquitous and truculent being… You can’t hurt me. I can predict your every move.”

“Uh… So you’re psychic?”

“Yes… urk, no! I am a pure Dark type. Don’t you dare remind me of Psychic types… I’ve had bad encounters with them… But, I exist in your mind, so I can read you like an open book…”

“Oh really?!” The Fighting type wasn’t convinced. “Who am I thinking of right now?”

“You’re thinking of that red chocolate loaf of lard, right? I’ve only just recently heard about this ‘new generation’ so I don’t know everyone by name like those super nerds out there.”

“Hmm… Still not convinced.”

“Still don’t believe me?!” The Darkrai rushed closer to Hitmonchan. “Now I’ll read more deeply into your soul. I’ll find your secrets, your weaknesses, YOUR URGES.”

“Uh… I don’t like there is going…”

The legendary put his hands to his head, and his head started to grow to the size of a Palkia while the body slowly dissapeared. “I see that you love several types of video games! Did you enjoy playing… Minecraft?”

Suddenly, out of nowhere, another Palkia-sized Darkrai head popped out to the left of that one. “You seem to like Majora’s Mask.”

“Oh gosh! Where’d you come from?” The Fighting type freaked out. “Are you using Double Team or something?!”

A third enormous Darkrai head came out from behind Hitmonchan. “Oh, so you’ve played the Mega Man Anniversary Collection before.”

The giant Darkrai heads were slowly moving towards Hitmonchan. “Woah! Get away! I don’t like enclosed spaces! Especially of Dark types! Get away!”

A fourth Darkrai head started to drop down from above. “You’ve been playing Little Big Planet 2 again, haven’t you?”

The four heads started to speak in unison. “We can read you like an open book…”

“I… I can’t take this… This isn’t real!” The Fighting type looked in the eyes of the legendary’s eyes. “This is all just a dream! This is my conscience speaking!”

“You STILL don’t believe me?” The Darkrai heads disappeared, revealing one normal sized Darkrai. “I will show you the extent of my true-“ The legendary coughed and wheezed. “-dream power… Turn off… your internet connection…”

“What?”

“I shall allow the flow of time to continue my sheer dreampower alone… TURN IT OFF, NOW!”

Hitmonchan looked up to the readers and nodded. “You know what to do.”

The readers turned off their internet connection by flipping a switch, unplugging a plug, or by one of the several hundred ways to turn off an internet connection.

“Yes… That’s good… Now… be in amazement as I keep this page up by my will alone-”

































“HAAA! The flow of time continues even with the source of this story off! You may turn on your internet connection back on if you desire. So… Are you convinced? Lood you like to join my clan?”

“Heh heh, nice try Darkrai, but I’ve found a flaw in your little illusion. You obviously don’t know how the Internet works.”

“Flaw? What do you mean?”

“You didn’t hold up the internet connection with your power. If you erased the connection while the page was open, this part would’ve been up before the connection was gone, so you didn’t hold up the internet at all!”

“What?! Nooo! My dream power!” The Darkrai fell to the dark floor. “I’M MELTING!”

“Dream’s over, Darkrai! Time to wake up!” Hitmonchan rushed up to give the legendary a punch in the face. “HYAAAAAHHH!!!”

***

“Hey the power came back on!” Gyarados exclaimed. Suddenly, a dark blob of energy was thrown out of Hitmonchan’s head, and against a wall. “Woah! What was that?”

Weavile gasped. “No… Itcan’tbe!”

“HEY! I remember you!” Tyranitar pointed.

The sleeping Fighting type slowly woke up. “Ugh… I just had a crazy dream…” Hitmonchan saw Darkrai ahead of him. “Oh wait, it’s real!”

Darkrai slowly opened his eyes and stumbled back up. “… My head… That Fighting type is strong…”

Everyone suddenly turned around to look at the Dark type. “Woah! Who’s that?”

“D-Darkrai?” Weavile stammered, and then grabbed the legendary by the hair. “Didyoufollowmehere?!”

“Y-yes….”

“HOWDIDYOUFINDME?!”

“I…I washed up along the shoreline eventually, and some Pokémon found me and healed me. I eventually searched for you and your family, and found that you fight here. I then saw Hitmonchan’s performance, and planted a scheme to recruit him into my possession. I contacted a friend of mine to help.”

“Was that the Heatran? I knew he seemed suspicious…”

“Yes… But you’ve all lucked out! Now I can obtain both Weavile and Hitmonchan at once!” The legendary started to charge up a Focus Blast attack.

“Actually, you’re in a room with the champion of the CPFA, all of the OU circuit fighters, a retired CPFA champion, and a Lilligant with an iron bar.” Lilligant brought out her weapon. “I think you lucked out.”

“Eh heh heh…” Darkrai coughed a few times. “Well… I… I’m going to go now…”

“ATTACK!” The nine Pokémon charged at the one legendary, overpowering him before he could fire the attack.

[Hilijix]

This is a bit of a random but somewhat serious announcement:

I'm actually writing another story, a story that I'd seriously like to get published, and when I look at that, it only has three (long) chapters but its quality really outmatches these chapters. I've been putting a lot of firepower on that story yet only have exhaust fumes going on this. Overall, I'm starting to feel like I'm putting too little of my time into this. This two-week time window of writing is more of a deadline than anything, and most writers I've noticed don't have that. I originally wanted this to be done by the end of 2012, but as I look forward, I'm doubting that'll happen. Plus, I feel like I've had a ton of chapters but not much time for new readers to join in, which I feel like is why this isn't getting as much attention as it deserves.

Main point across is that I'm getting rid of the two-week update thing (and I had a one-week thing before... I had no life) and I'm not really sure when it'll regularly update. Whenever I think the next chapter is ready, but I'm still going to try and update on weekends, so look forward to those. I've been focusing on this fic so much that I really haven't gotten to read much others, which I should be, if I want to improve.

Don't get me wrong, I WILL make an end to this. It's a pet peeve of me seeing things that just don't have a definite end. So this will end, just when is the question.

[ESPNfanatic35]

Hello! Here to review your latest chapter. It does seem like you had fun with this one, which is good. I like how you took this chapter into a completely different direction with Darkrai and everything else. Very good stuff. The nightmare at the beginning was rather creepy and you sold it well as reality for a moment. I found only one thing:

Hitmonchan, Throh, and Lilligant decided to take a break after doing some rigorous.

I think you meant to put the word "training" at the end of that sentence. Everything else is ship shape. Love all the classic video game references and I enjoyed this chapter.

This is a bit of a random but somewhat serious announcement:

I'm actually writing another story, a story that I'd seriously like to get published, and when I look at that, it only has three (long) chapters but its quality really outmatches these chapters. I've been putting a lot of firepower on that story yet only have exhaust fumes going on this. Overall, I'm starting to feel like I'm putting too little of my time into this. This two-week time window of writing is more of a deadline than anything, and most writers I've noticed don't have that. I originally wanted this to be done by the end of 2012, but as I look forward, I'm doubting that'll happen. Plus, I feel like I've had a ton of chapters but not much time for new readers to join in, which I feel like is why this isn't getting as much attention as it deserves.

Main point across is that I'm getting rid of the two-week update thing (and I had a one-week thing before... I had no life) and I'm not really sure when it'll regularly update. Whenever I think the next chapter is ready, but I'm still going to try and update on weekends, so look forward to those. I've been focusing on this fic so much that I really haven't gotten to read much others, which I should be, if I want to improve.

Don't get me wrong, I WILL make an end to this. It's a pet peeve of me seeing things that just don't have a definite end. So this will end, just when is the question.

Take all the time you need. Good luck on your other story!

[Hilijix]

You wait and you shall receive! Chapter 44 is finally out with hopefully 1/2 the mistakes, 2 times the comedy, and hopefully 1.5% more awesomeness! In addition, I also updated the Character Index a bit.

Hopefully by the next chapter the awesomeness shall truly improve...

Chapter 44: Samurott’s Japanese Revenge

Three days earlier…

“HIYA!” Samurott was spending hours of his days by training in the CPFA gym. Everyday, he improved his coordination by slashing several sticks of bamboo with his Razor Shell. Ludicolo walked into the gym one of those days, holding some vitamins in his palms.

“Oh hi Samurott,” The Grass/Water type waved. The Water type waved back. Ludicolo then looked to Samurott, then to himself. After a few seconds he jumped up. “WAIT! We don’t have a Samurott in the brackets!”

“Nope, it’s me, Piston Dewott, and I evolved!”

“Nice, man! How’d you evolve? Eating? Radiation? Or did you wake up one day and notice that you were taller?”

“Actually I was holding off of my evolution until now. In retrospect, I could’ve evolved years ago, but my family has this weird, Japanese animation tradition.”

“Japanese animation tradition?” Ludicolo scratched his sombrero. “That makes no sense.”

“It does in my family. In old Japanese animation shows, Pokémon only evolved at very late circumstances, or didn’t evolve at all. This was done to make the younger Pokémon more appealing to a young audience. My family lives by that philosophy, and made us hold off on our evolutions for a long time. When I was 2, my dad recommended I wait between 95 months to 129 months to evolve into Dewott.”

“That’s not too bad. I evolved into Lombre when I was like, 10. It was very depressing for me, having Middle-Evolution Depression Syndrome. I hate that Lombre are one of the Pokémon who have that…”

“After that, when I evolved when I was 12, my dad said to wait between 198 and 507 months to evolve again, no matter how much experience I gain between then.”

“Woah… Your parents are harsh.”

“Well, that’s the Japanese animation tradition. But I’ve evolved now, and it’s so weird… I have to walk on all fours now… I’m training myself to get faster. A friend told me that slashing bamboo is like training off of Zubat- they make you faster.”

“Really?” Ludicolo started to playfully toss a Carbos into the air. “By coincidence, I happen to have something that can help you with that…”

***

“Welcome to Sinnoh!” An energetic tour guide was standing on a tourist train welcoming newcomers to the interesting region of Sinnoh. “I’m Pachirisu, one of the exclusive natives of this region! Now, as our drive starts the train up, are their any questions?”

“Is it true that honey is considered a delicacy in these parts?” A Charizard wearing an “I love Sinnoh” shirt asked.

“That’s right! We Sinnohians absolutely LOVE smacking it on a piece of bark and licking it off like an oversized jelly blob!” A few Pokémon were mildly disgusted after this statement. “Any more questions?”

A Ledian with glasses waved his hand high in the air. “Did the Fat Guy Stole My Bike meme really originate here?”

The Pachirisu looked at the Bug type as if he was crazy. “The what?”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of that! Have you ever gone on the Internet?”

“…Moving along…” Pachirisu started to point out the interesting Sinnoh sights outside of the tourist train. “To your left, you can see the magnificent pine trees, guarded by well-mannered Pineco that love to Self-Destruct. If you squint, you may be able to see a group of headache-bearing Psyduck blocking a useful path to frustrate travelers. To your right…” When the Pachirisu gestured to the right, she gasped. “Woah, what’s that?”

To the right of the train, a Samurott was outrunning the tourist train, spouting out random Japanese nonsense. “KAMIKAZE!”

“Who… Who is he? He’s not from Sinnoh…” The Pachirisu obviously didn’t know all the Pokémon by heart.

“He’s from Unova, like I am.” A Whimsicott wearing a baseball cap explained. “Interesting, you don’t see many of us outside of Unova these days. I hear Unova had frozen recently.”

“Really?! That’s terrible!”

“Actually it’s good for our economy. There’s a lot more non-Unova Pokémon there nowadays.”

Samurott eventually stopped his crazy run once he reached the thrift store. “KAMIKAZE! Kami… Phew…” As the Water type calmed down, a nearby Exeggutor and Starmie who watched the whole thing walked away slowly.

“The rumors are true.” The Exeggutor muttered to his hybrid friend.

“Yeah, those who thought that Unovians are ridiculous and terrible are correct… I’m going back to hanging out with more of my Kanto friends…”

Exeggutor and Starmie headed to their local telephone pole to talk to some old favorites like Blastoise and Victreebel. While they were doing that, Samurott was muttering to himself. “Yeesh, Ludicolo was right. Carbos is amazing.”

***

“Samurott? Hellooooo? Samurott? Are you there?” Hitmonchan was trying to wake up his opponent, who was sitting on the ring floor with his eyes closed. The champion turned to the referee. “Is he dead?”

“Don’t ask me kid, I’m just a referee. I don’t pay attention to Pokémon’s problems. I just count and say who wins.”

“Must be an easy life, huh?”

“Usually. Occasionally some messed up fan jumps up onto here and does something crazy… Or, some fighters try to hurt, humiliate, or tease me just to be a troll. Some do all three.”

After a few more seconds of silence, Samurott finally stood up and started attacking the air. “Hya hya hya hya hya hya hya… DORYU!!!” The Water type ended his dramatic screaming fest with an uppercut.

“Samurott… What’s happened to you? You seem… A bit crazed.”

“Samurott? Call me sensei!”

“Sensei Samurott? I’d rather just call you Piston Samurott like always.” The Fighting type looked at his advanced Battle Logger for advice. “Hey Battle Logger, what’s his new title?”

“His new title is Sensei Samurott. Age is 22, record is 44 wins, eight losses, 43 KOs. Height is 5 feet, 11 inches, and weighs 200 pounds. Nature is Quiet, Calm, or Bold. IQ estimate is 132. Relationship status is single. Has never had a girlfriend. Moveset is Waterfall, X-Scissor, Quick Attack, and Revenge. Special attack is Aqua Jet and Razor Shell at the same time.”

“At the same time? What do you mean at the same time?”

“Do I look like a strategy guide?! I don’t know attack combinations! So what if I can search deep databases for blood banks, bank accounts, love life, and find what they ate for dinner last night. That doesn’t mean I CAN READ MINDS!”

“Really? I’d bet fifty chocolate bars worth of money that I can-”

As if he had superspeed, Throh rushed right next to Hitmonchan. “Did you say fifty chocolate bars?”

“I… was betting chocolate bars… worth of money. To…my…electronic device…”

“Oh…” The Fighting type, disappointed, dragged himself away.

“As I was saying… I’d bet fifty… err… iron bars… worth of…”

“Did you say fifty iron bars?”

Hitmonchan looked to his right, and saw Lilligant where Throh was previously. “No Lil, I was betting them…. You know what, I’d bet 2,000 Pokédollars that Mismagius could give you mind-reading abilities.

“Hmm…” The Battle Logger ran the idea for a second through its memory banks, and then vibrated in fear and utter terror. “OH PLEASE NO! I’m not going through such torture again! I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU!”

“Ok, ok. Just a question... You don’t need to get your knife out again…” The Fighting type silenced his Battle Logger, faced his opponent, and changed tones. “Samurott! I’ve kept you waiting too long. You want a major smackdown from the champion, right?” The champion was pounding his fists for an intimidation effect.

“Not to be rude, but you don’t seem like someone worthy to be in the OU circuit. I’ve reached the OU circuit once before, and Gyarados’ fighting style was WAY different than yours. I’ve seen your fights, and your style is the same elemental punches with the occasional uppercut.”

“Mine? What about your fighting style? Isn't your fighting style just as linear?”

“Ermm… Shut up.”

***ROUND 1***

Similarily to the first encounter, Samurott bowed as respect, and the champion used this moment to earn a Star.

“SKY UPPERCUT!”

The Water type easily dodged the attack, as he knew it was coming from a while away. “Too slow!” As he approached the middle, he got into the position to use Water Pulse, but instead of blasting water, he covered himself in water, and charged at his opponent to use Waterfall. He used Waterfall again, but the champion dodged this time and replied with one Thunderpunch.

Samurott then used his Revenge attack, which was exactly the same as he used in the first encounter. “Hi-yah!” The Water type missed again, and took a plethora of Fire and Thunderpunches to the face. He repeated the move once more, except from another side. Then he used Waterfall, but missed and took one more Thunderpunch.

Samurott hopped around as if he was going to use his Fury Cutter. He then charged hitself, and began to use Aqua Jet. “RAZOR SHELL!” Samurott took out an enormous shell shaped like a sword out of his front arms, and charged to slash with it. The champion thought he could counter it and instantly defeat knock him down, but… the punch only made him flinch. “YOLK!”

“What? How’d that not KO you?”

“Don’t think I didn’t just get stronger! I made sure that I’d cover my weaknesses this time around! Try all you want, but you won’t be able to instantly KO me with that!” Samurott hurried in a quick Revenge attack to throw the champion off as he tried to speak.

“Fine then.” Hitmonchan dodged and countered another Revenge attack. Samurott then attempted to use a new move, X-Scissor, but missed and took more damage. After one more Revenge attempt, Samurott fell.

“FWA!”

“One…two…three…four…” The Water type slowly climbed back up, and wiggled his mustache.

“What’s up with your mustache?”

“What’s up with your mustache? Oh wait, you don’t have one.”

“I want a mustache…” The nearby Raichu quietly cried to himself. As Hitmonchan and the referee were thinking about mustaches, Samurott quickly jumped to the side and hit the champion with two quick Revenge attacks, knocking him down. “…What? That was too quick! I was thinking about- never mind… One…two…” Hitmonchan was using the time the referee was complaining to get back up.

“Geez…” Once Hitmonchan got up, the Water type bowed. The champion attempted to punch his mustache, but Samurott dodged and used Quick Attack right afterwards. “What?”

“No one messes with courtesy! NO ONE! Especially when it involves punching my new mustache, for in ancient times-” As the Water type was going to deliver an ancient speech, the impatient Fighting type skipped it entirely by Thunderpunching him for a Star.

Samurott began to use Waterfall once again, but failed to do any significant damage. He then began to use Revenge, but faked the champion out by jumping back and forth before attacking, hitting him. Right after using his Waterfall and X-Scissor attack, the round ended.

“Round over!”

***INTERMISSION***

The Water type was reading an imported book full of fighting quotes. “Keep the helmet of victory fastened. It’ll protect you from getting squashed by offenders. From Abnormal Ariados.”

“Who’s Abnormal Ariados?”

“Beats me, but I think you should wear a helmet when you fight me.”

“Like Furret’s helmet? That would actually be pretty cool.”

“I hear if you were to lose 100 times like he did, you could get a helmet similar to his. Your record would be beyond horrible, though.”

As Hitmonchan turned to his coach, Throh looked very cross. “Hey hey hey HEY! Did you eat one of my chocolate bars?! I’ve lost one of em’!”

“Nope, haven’t eaten any chocolate today.”

Throh was sweating vigorously. “This is a crisis!”

“Come on, you always bring like, eight chocolate bars wherever you go.”

“Think of that lone bar,
Rotting in an unknown place,
Not in my stomach,
-A Haiku by Doc Throh”

“…”

“How was it?”

“You’re obsessed. But you’re good at making haikus.” Lilligant added while hiding the fact that she took the chocolate bar for herself just to see Throh’s reaction.

***ROUND 2***

“I still remember our first fight, Hitmonchan.”

“Really?” Hitmonchan chuckled. “That’s funny. I don’t remember any of it. There’s been so many fighters that I’ve fought and there’s only one of me.”

“Well, that fight meant a lot to me.” Samurott threw his book aside. “Now… I’m going to pay you back in spades… BANZAI!!” Samurott was bouncing around, waiting to attack.

“Alrighty then, show me your moves!” Samurott bowed in respect, but as the Fighting type tried to Thunderpunch him, an unexpected event occurred. The Water type dodged and used Quick Attack. “Too slow! Hah!”

The fight went on as Hitmonchan attempted to counter a Waterfall attack, but the Water type dodged it and used Quick Attack again. Samurott failed to do damage with X-Scissor, but luckily did knock .He then bounced around before using Revenge, catching the champ off guard, and knocked him down again.

“One…two…three…four…”

As he got up, the Fighting type attempted to punch the Water type’s bowing, dodged the Quick Attack, and tried to Thunderpunch this time, but the strategy failed as his punch was blocked.

Samurott bounced back to perform his well-known special. “RAZOR SHELL!” Hitmonchan bravely attempted to counter the special, and did, but only for a Star. After that, Samurott began to use his special once again.

“You’re not doing it this time! SKY UPPERCUT!”

“RAZOR SHELL!”

The two fierce fighters used their iconic moves, but sadly Hitmonchan began to use it a bit too early, leaving himself open to a barrage of scalchop sword hits.

“Ugh! Hooo…” Hitmonchan tried to hold himself up with a Determination Boost, but since he wasn’t feeling confident enough, he fell straight onto the ring floor. “Uck…”
“TKO! The winner and new champion is Sensei Samurott!”

“Hya, hya! Hya, hya!” Samurott flexed his mustles, then raised his scalchop sword skyward. “DORYU! This! Is! THE LEGEND OF SAMUROTT!”

***

“Hey Hitmonchan, I forgot to tell you this due to my missing chocolate bar, but apparently some sorta famous retired CPFA celebrity is coming to meet you tomorrow.”

“Really? Who?”

“No one that special. Just-“

“Mew Dream!” Lilligant finished the sentence with more enthusiasm than Throh would.

“He’s Mewk Twoson’s ridiculously positive younger cousin, who took the title after he was arrested.”

“I still don’t remember him.”

“Yeah, he was there for a while, but eventually also left. Everyone hated him for replacing Mewtwo…”

“Not everyone! I thought he was awesome!” Lilligant retaliated.

“Well ok, every male hated him. He retired after 99 fights to go see if he could start a music career. You may have known his alias, Mewstin Dreamer.”

“OH GOSH NO! We’re stopping this conversation right here!”

[Hilijix]

In case anyone was wondering (which I doubt most of you were), I am still alive and am working on the next chapter. School just started this week, and as a Sophomore, I've had literally no time for myself. Don't fret, this fic will not die young!

I promise at least one update will be in this month (remember that I update mostly around weekends), though please mark the calendar on September 29th. It's a very memorable day for this fic, and something special will be on that day...

[Hilijix]

I'M BACK! But not just back with a new chapter, I'm back with something special as well... Since today's Poke Punch-Out's one year anniversary (technically it's like twelve hours from now but whatever), I wanted to go the extra mile to add something awesome.

Chapter 45: A Mew Dream

“Omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh! Mew Dream is right around this corner! I saw him!” Lilligant was bouncing up and down while Hitmonchan and Throh were not too impressed.

“I don’t know if I want to meet this guy… I’ve never heard about his fighting career but I do know that his music is terrible…”

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH!” Lilligant intimidated the two by swiping Aiderod in the air. Hitmonchan immediately shut his mouth, but Throh carefully opened his to chomp on a chocolate bar. After he finished it, he spoke.

“Well fine, if you’re too much of a chicken to ask, I guess I’ll go first and introduce you to him.” Throh turned the corner to see the legendary fighter himself. “Heh-hey! Mew! How’ve you been?”

The floating pink, cat-like legendary smirked. “Heh-hey! What’s up, Doc?”

“Not much really, just training the ex-champion. He’s good at what he does, but he lost against Sensei Samurott yesterday, the evolved form of Piston Dewott.”

“Oh yeah, I remember him. He was very picky and never wanted to fight me. He knew he would lose!”

“So why’d you come back here, anyway?”

Mew began to lean back while levitating. “Oh, a bunch of my friends have told me that some smash-hit fighter had been turning the CPFA it upside down. Also, I wanted to see what kind of new fighters there were in the CPFA, and how much it’s changed. And boy oh boy, it’s changed a ton.”

“A ton? It seems the same to me.”

“An Emboar was snoring and snot bubbles were coming out of his nose. A Weavile was trying to speak to me in some sort of alien language. A Roserade tried to GLOMP ME! That never happened in the old CPFA!”

“Uh… Remember Snorlax, Beheeyem, and Leavanny?”

“Oh yeah. Forgot about them… Yeah, absolutely nothing changed.” Mew swung his stubby arms back and forth. “So… Where’s the ex-champ that I came to meet?”

“He’s hiding around the corner with his galfriend. Follow me.”

The moment Throh and Mew turned the corner, the Grass type screamed. “Aiiiiiieeeeee! It’s him!” Lilligant took out her phone and started snapping as many pictures as her camera app could handle. “My friends are going to be SO jealous when they see this!”

As Lilligant was distracted, Hitmonchan and Mew stared at each other for a long amount of time. “…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…Pfth! Ha ha hah!” The Psychic type just started laughing at Hitmonchan.

“Uh… Is something wrong with my face or something?”

“Hey! Guys!” Mew called out above, thinking someone was watching him from above. “Is this kid a joke? Where’s the real challenger?”

“Dude, this isn’t a joke. I’m the champion. Or, at least I was.” Hitmonchan showed the Psychic type his Battle Logger. “See? This proves it. My Battle Logger’s in Champion Mode.”

The legendary fighter examined it more closely. “…Doesn’t look like it.”

“I am in Champion Mode. I’m the Battle Logger that your Battle Logger wants to be. I’m on a Ponyta.”

“I should’ve brought mine…” Mew smirked. “But in all honesty, you don’t look like CPFA Champion material.”

“What?!”

“You barely look like you could pass well in the RU Circuit.”

“Hey! I went through the entire RU Circuit without losing a single match! I think I did get knocked down once or twice though…”

“Well…” The Psychic type floated closer, about to get in Hitmonchan’s face. “Wanna fight?”

“I’ve been wanting to ever since I heard your music!”

“Ooooh! Slick burn, man! But I’ve heard that a billion times already! Let’s take this outside!”

***

As the Pokémon began to head outside, Hitmonchan gasped. Somehow, an enormous crowd gathered to watch the upcoming fight, despite the fact that the two only agreed to fight about twenty seconds ago.

“Wha… What? How did you…”

“Stalkers.” Mew sighed. “I can’t file enough restraining orders…”

“Random question; Do you have the ability to turn woman into little girls or is it just natural?”

“Both, actually. I’m trying to get the ability diagnosed, but it’s difficult. The officials say I have to ‘wait until the next generation of Pokémon’ or something dumb like that.”

Meanwhile, Gardevoir the Reporter was dragging her associate Magnezone towards the battlefield where Hitmonchan and Mew were battling at.

“Gardevoir, are you SURE that we have to be here for this?” The camera-bearing Magnezone whined. “We literally only learned about this twenty seconds ago.”

“YES! Recording the legendary Mew Dream in action is more important than seeing a stupid bear movie at home. Thank goodness for modern technology- we would’ve missed this if one of my friends didn’t text me about this fight.”

“When Mew told me that he wanted to meet the champion, I thought they were going to just talk about life and play a card game or something. I didn’t think they were going to fight!”

“Why else would an ex-champion want to meet another champion?! Fighting is how everything is settled these days. Card games are SO 2006.”

“Aw… I miss the good ol’ days where problems were consulted with either kickball, bribery, or advanced mathematics…” Magnezone paused for a moment. “Actually, I was terrible at all three of those.”

When Gardevoir and Magnezone braved through the immense crowd of monsters, the Psychic type pointed at the “Look! He’s using his Battle Logger!”

Up on the stage, Hitmonchan asked his electronic companion about the legendary Psychic type superstar. “Battle Logger, what do you have for this guy?”

“Mew Dream. Retired champion of the CPFA. Record is 99 wins, 0 losses, 99 KOs. Age is undisclosed, and weight is 8.35 lbs. Current bank account is absurdly high, within the five and six million range. Current relationship is with a Seviper, but has had 151 relationships in the past. Moves are Psychic, Thunderbolt, Ice Beam, Flamethrower, Hyper Beam, Water Pulse, Surf, Fly, Defog, Stone Edge, Earthquake, Attract, Splash, Aerial Ace, Stealth Rock, Secret Power, Hidden Power, Gyro Ball, Scald, Sludge Bomb, Giga Drain…” The Battle Logger started to warm up, and smoke began steam out of it.

“Uh…”

“MEW DREAM HAS OVER 255 MOVES IN HIS MOVESET. I AM ERROR.” The Battle Logger eventually turned itself off out of sheer exhaustion.

“That’s…im…possible…”

“Nothing’s impossible for a Mew! My species can learn AND remember a plethora of moves. We can do ANYTHING!”

“No matter how wide and versatile your moveset may be, I’m still going to give it my all! Come on!” Hitmonchan assumed his battling position.

Mew laughed. “Ok! Let’s have some fun with this!”

A random Bayleef held up an enormous poster that said “ROUND 1” on it to signify the start of the battle.

As an amazing battle began, with Mew blasting a huge Psychic at an extremely fast pace! Hitmonchan could barely see any indication that he was going to attack and was knocked down within five seconds.

Since Raichu was busy being a referee for an intense Electivire and Blissey battle, he wasn’t available to count. Instead, the audience counted. “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!”

“That was insane… I didn’t even see you try to attack. You’re supposed to give me a tell or something.”

“Ok, how about this. Ok you’re going DOWN!” Mew called upon an enormous Thunderbolt from the sky. Hitmonchan easily saw this coming and dodged. After dodging he smacked the legendary with two Fire Punches.

“BOOOOOO!” The opposing crowd wanted a flawless fight from Mew and were disappointed that it wasn’t what they were seeing.

“Aw they’re not too happy…” Mew frowned.

Hitmonchan had an idea. “Why don’t you give a wink to the audience? That might perk them up again.”

“Hey, that’s a great idea!” Mew turned to left enormous crowd and gave them a big win, and the crowd of females squealed in joy. Hitmonchan used this moment to Thunderpunch him in the face for a Star. “Ow! Hey, I was trying to appeal!”

“SKY UPPERCUT!”

“Hmm? OW!” Mew had never seen a Sky Uppercut from the champ in his entire life, so he didn’t expect it. “That wasn’t nice! You make me want to BURN YOU!” Mew leaned back to charge up a Flamethrower attack, which the ex-champ saw coming, dodged, and used a few more Fire Punches. The Psychic type then used Gyro Ball, which Hitmonchan dodged.

“Ok, now THIS seems a bit fairer. Now that you project your attacks I have a chance of actually surviving more than a round.”

“Fair?! How about this?!” As Mew shouted, a yellow aura began to surround him. Some of the audience members began to cheer in joy and hope. “THUN…DER!” Hitmonchan began to dodge rapidly and by sheer luck, he managed to avoid a fatal Thunder attack that would’ve OHKO’d him twice if it hit. Hitmonchan then attacked Mew about eight times before he used his next attack. Mew used Grass Knot, similarily to Kadabra, but not as well and failed to hit. After being hit by a few Thunderpunches, the round ended right after Mew used Ice Beam.

“ROUND OVER!”

A female Bagon held up a sign with the words “INTERMISSION” on it.

Throh was patting the champion on the back. “Put him away! Throw him into the trash bin for ol’ Throh!” The Fighting type chuckled. “Get it? THROW him away for THROH?! Ah hah hah hah!”

Mew was chuckling as well, but for a completely different reason. “Yo, Hitmonchan! I really don’t get why you’re the champ. Your experience points don’t match mine. Go home and practice!”

“Experience points?”

“…You know, experience points. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard of experience points! They’re the official biological unit of power!”

“Hey, where’s Lilligant?”

“Uh…” Throh pointed to the opposing side, where the Grass type was raising her enormous iron rod for Mew’s side.

“WOO! GO MEW! I LOVE YOU… PLETONICALLY!”

“What?” A clueless Minccino asked. “What’s platonically mean?”

“It means I love him but I wouldn’t want to breed with him. I wouldn’t want anyone to secretly record my breeding sessions.”

“Ah. That makes more sense.” The Normal type looked up for a moment, and then spoke again. “…Wait… It doesn’t.”

A female Croconaw held up a sign with the words “ROUND 2” on it in big red colors.

Mew unleashed a lethal Water Pulse attack, but despite making full contact with his opponent, it didn’t defeat him in one shot. He then used it again, but failed to do damage and was Ice Punched a few times. The Psychic type then used a new attack, and summoned several different orblike beings of matter around him. They slowly collided with Hitmonchan, and disappearing in a blue set of smoke, doing damage, but in a weird way.

“Uh… What just happened?” Hitmonchan couldn’t keep up with what was happening.

“Wait for it…”

“Wait for what? URK!” The move turned out to be Psyshock, a non-physical Psychic type attack that did physical damage. “My…stomach…” Hitmonchan had less Defense than Special Defense, so he slowly dropped to the foor.

“ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN!”

“How…how does that work?!” Hitmonchan stumbled back up.

“Well, if you want to be technical,” Mew closed his eyes and pondered the mathematics behind Psyshock. He then called out to the audience. “EXCUSE ME! Can I stop the timer for a moment to explain the properties of Psyshock?! Yes?! Thank you! Now ahem…” Mew put on some enormous reading glasses, and opened a page out of the book “Psychic Type Move Physics,” which a random fan chucked at him.

“The definition is that I materialize an odd psychic wave to attack you. The attack does physical damage. It is constructed by summoning particles from the chemical element Hafnium. When Hafnium is controlled by psychic power, it creates a reaction of both solid and chemical power. It homes in on the closest monster by levitation, but when it collides it explodes. It creates a blue chemical due to a chaotic side effect of the levitation. The psychic ability ignites the Hafnium, but not in an expected fashion. Psychic power attempts to keep objects at a reasonable temperature, but the hafnium always tries to ignite as psychic power is hot at first, but it is hard to cool down after it heats up. Therefore, it vanises into blue smoke once it hits.”

“………….”

“NERD!” Doc Throh screamed out, randomly breaking the mood.

“So true!” Hitmonchan Thunderpunched Mew as he finished his speech about Psyshock. Mew was definitely called off guard, and for the first time in a while, landed on the ground and stood on his own two feet.

“Woah… Wack! Oh no no no no no no WOAH!” Mew hadn’t walked in an extremely long time as he levitated most of the time, and started to walk backwards until he fell on his back.

“YES!” Doc Throh started to clap.

“NOOO!” Nearly all of Mew Dream’s fanbase, including Lilligant, cried in disdain.

“Yeah! Go Hitmonchan!” A lone Ledyba cheered. Once everyone started to glare at the bug, he hid his head in shame. “I root for the underdogs…”

As a mob of Rock types began to gang up against the Ledyba and Body Slam it, Magnezone and Gardevoir were more focused on what would happen next. “Woah… Totally didn’t expect that to happen, Magnezone.”

“I sorta did. But hey, isn’t someone supposed to count for him?

“Heh hey!” Mew slowly pushed himself back up. “I’m not done yet!”

“Really? I thought that was enough.”

“Ok, no more mister nice Mew, I’m ending this RIGHT NOW!” Mew started to raise his eyebrows rapidly.

“Uh…”

“GYYAAAA!” Mew instantly used the deadly Hyper Beam attack, which seemingly came out of nowhere and instantly destroyed the Fighting type in terms of damage.

“GUH!” The Hyper Beam felt like an entire sword fell through his chest, just not physically. The Fighting type fell straight to the floor as if he broke his legs. Almost the entire audience exploded in happiness and glee as this happened.

“YEAH!”

“WOO HOO!”

“OH YES!”

“MEW RULES!”

“No!” Throh called out to his fallen apprentice.

“Fwa hah!” Mew laughed. “Come back when you’ve trained harder!”

***

A few hours passed, and Hitmonchan and Mew were taking some time, away from a hundred fans, to actually have a conversation. “Dude you were powerful out there! Ridiculously!”

“Yeah, I know.” Mew chuckled. “But you were the first one to actually knock me down in a long time! I think the last one to do so was… was… Throh!”

“Hmm?! Yes?!” Throh called from the other side of the locker room, grabbing as many chocolate bars as he could.

“Nothing, nothing!” Hitmonchan replied. “Sorry for all the yelling back there, I don’t usually do it as much as I should, but…”

“Hey hey, no hard feelings, man.” Mew explained. “I gotta act smug to attract my fanbase. They get more fickle over the years.”

“…I have a question. How many Pokemon have you defeated over the years?”

“99. I don’t remember which though. Why do you ask?”

“So… I’ve been having trouble with this Samurott…

***

***ROUND 2***

“One…two…three…four…” Samurott was bouncing up and down, waiting for the round to begin. “Five…six… OK! Come on already! I’ve been waiting for a while now!”

“Alrighty then!” Hitmonchan stepped forward. “But I’m just as ready!” Samurott already had two knockdowns from the previous round, and was low on health, while Hitmonchan only took two hits.

The Water type began with a bow, with Hitmonchan trying to Thunderpunch him. “Too slow! Hya!” Samurott countered with a Waterfall, but Hitmonchan easily guarded the attack. “Huh?!” The Fighting type unleashed two Thunderpunches and knocked the opponent down.

“One…two…three…four…five…”

Samurott struggled to get back up, but wasn’t going down that easily. He used Revenge about three times, while taking Thunderpunches to the face about 16 times. Afterwards, he bounced back to use his special attack. “RAZOR! SHELL!”

Hitmonchan countered, but only got a Star for it. After dodging and countering two more X-Scissor attacks, he got into position to use his special attack. “SKY UPPERCUT!” That uppercut was just enough to knock Samurott down.

“FWAH!”

“One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…Nine !”

“Uck! Losing by KO is undignified! I’m not losing to you by KO!” Samurott muttered as he got up one final time. He did a backflip to as he began his special attack. “RAZOR! SHELL!” As he held his shell sword towards the sky, he yelled one final scream as he dashed towards Hitmonchan. “BBBBREAKER!”

…One nicely timed Thunderpunch finished him. “Uck!” Samurott was knocked towards the ropes once again. “I’ve failed…twice…” Despite being more resistant than the UU circuit’s ropes, the ropes didn’t knock him back up, and instead towards the floor. “OOF!”

“TKO! The winner and official champion is now once again Little Hitmonchan!”

***

“Man, Mew’s tips for fighting Samurott were REALLY useful!” Throh pointed out.

“Uh huh! I wouldn’t have beaten him without them.”

“It’s a real shame that he had to leave though…” Lilligant moaned in a nearby corner.

“Now go out their champ and win again! Then we can make ourselves a victory sandwich! Ah hah hah! And maybe we’ll put a bit of chocolate in it! Doh hoh hoh!”

“That sounds like it would taste horrible.”

“You obviously haven’t tried putting chocolate in sandwiches before. It’s just like s’mores… only better.”

[Hilijix]

This is it! The thing everyone and no one has been waiting for! It's the show within a fic! It's.....

ENTRAINMENT:

Season 10: Ultimate Juniors Premiere!
Episode 751: A Third Beginning! Part 1!

Opening Theme: Become a Bow! Lyrics Written by “Akihito” Torterra, Composed by “Hirokazu” Torkoal, Sang by “Rica” Mamoswine.

“Oh boy!” A Combusken cheered as he stepped into the halls of a familiar high school. “My thid year at Hixajil High!” The Fire type turned to his Ghost typed pal. “Ready, Drifblim?”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be…” Drifblim sighed. “Another year means even more wacky mishaps and three times the drama.”

“And if last year’s freshmen were any indication on the madness,” Pidgeot noted. “These newcomers are going to become even more absurd.”

“I know…” Combusken turned his head around to look at the high school. Even though he’s been to the school hundreds of times, it seemed different every time. “Remember that flood from Poliwrath, causing that Gyarados to awaken?”

“Sadly yes…” Drifblim looked down. “It ruined my science project.”

“Oh, and that freakin’ Zoroark! And that FREAKIN’ Crobat!”

“I know… But Zoroark did make a huge sacrifice with the wingless Salamence.”

“Oh! Oh! And we shouldn’t forget that…”

“I’d rather not think about more apocalypse happenings on the first day of school.” Pidgeot sighed. “So… What are your first classes, guys?”

“Move Chemistry.”

“English 11.”

“AP Type Knowledge.”

“WOAH! You’re seriously doing that?!”Combusken and Pidgeot were astounded.

“Why not?” Drifblim shrugged. “I mean, I know Rock, Steel, and Electric types by heart, so why not learn em’ all. And I’m a Ghost and Flying type already.”

“Well, go for it.” Pidgeot said. “But I wouldn’t if I were you. Everyone says that’s one of the hardest AP classes available. And we’re just Juniors!”

“So guys, we need to go to the auditorium for the Back-To-School assembly, right?”

“Actually, we’re going to the gym this time.”

“Uh… Why?”

“A new year means more Pokémon, and frankly, we need more space.”

***

“Geez, I hate the gym. Its constant echoes are annoying.” Heatmor whined, as he sat next to Combusken, Drifblim, and Pidgeot. The Hixajil Gym was five times larger than the Hixajil Auditorium to accommodate the larger species of Pokémon.

“Welcome back everyone!” The principal, Honchkrow, announced to the thousands of monsters, despite his voice being drowned out by all the other Pokémon. “For those who don’t know, I’m your principal, Honchkrow, and the staff and I are determined to make this the best year ever!”

“Didn’t he say that last year?” Drifblim whispered to Pidgeot.

“Yep, he totally did. I swear he’s copying and pasting his speech from last year.

“And now here’s our Cheer Team motivating you with attractive and mystifying cheer stunts! Enjoy!”

The team of cheerleaders, who only appeared periodically throughout the year, set onto the stage and began to dance to a seemingly unknown genre of music. “Oh hey there’s Beautifly! Still just as shiny as ever! But where’s Bellossom and uh… what’s her face?”

“I think they stopped cheerleading to make room for more work and stuff.” Pidgeot began. “At least Ninetales is still there, though she’ll probably stop next year, too. I hope she’s okay… She’s had a bunch of bad times lately…”

“What kind of bad times?”

“It’s girl stuff. I’m sorry but I can’t talk about that to you guys.”

***

“Great performance! Now just let me tell you all the rules of this high school to those new… For starters, no...”

“Yawn… Go back to the dancing girls. I’ve already heard these rules twice already. I don’t need a third time…”

“…Oh by the way, you can now use cell phones at lunch!”

“Woah woah woah that’s awesome!”

“…Just realize that we’re tracking all of your messages via satellite! All your messages are belong to us! Ya ha! … Wait let me try that again…”

“And my faith in this high school is now lost… Again…” Pidgeot rubbed her head with her wings.

“That sounds like it’s another set-up for some crazy and deadly plot arc that reawakens another deadly and legendary force or something…”

“Oh stop being a smart-aleck, Combusken.”

***

“…And now the dance team!”

There were amazing Pokémon doing magical and powerful dance moves, from the nimblest of Leavanny to the largest of Musharna. They were completely in sync with the rumbling dubstep music. The audience reaction was mixed.

“Geez, how do they do that?”

“Years and years of practice. And a ton of Carbos.”

“Last year’s performance was way better than this.”

“Now go to your classes! Remember today’s schedule! Only 15 minutes for each period!”

***

Combusken was dashing through the hallways to find his first class. “Let’s see… Ah. Here it is. Room B210.” When the Fire/Fighting type was about to open the door, he heard a voice that scared his soul.

“Combusken! Wait up!” Litwick, who was taller and cuter (even though that didn’t matter at all), rushed from behind Combusken. “Long time no see!”

As the Fire type turned around, he moaned, “Ugh ugh… ugh… Litwick…” The Fire/Fighting type slowly stepped back and started to sweat.

“Oh! We seem to have Move Chemistry together! This’ll be so cute!” Litwick sauntered into the classroom, while Combusken just sighed.

“Gosh dang it…That creeper’s in a class with me… I hate this year already.” Once Combusken entered Room B210, he was dazzled when he saw the classroom. “Woah…” The Move Chemistry room looked like an entire chemical plant. There were beakers, test tubes, scales, and even oddly colored liquids in jars.

Inside, there were no teachers around, so the students were allowed to sit anywhere they wanted. Combusken and Litwick were the first ones to enter, with Lapras, Flygon, Muk, Wigglytuff, and Vespiquen entering. Combusken also noticed a Castform, an Illumise, and a Patrat entering as well. Once they were seated, everyone began to chat.

“Uh… Aren’t you a freshman?” Vespiquen asked to a nearby classmate. “This is a sophomore and junior level class. Freshmen usually don’t go tackling this class so early.”

“No, I’m positive this was my destination.” A Patrat declared. He had spectacles on, showcasing his knowledge. At this point, the teacher entered the classroom.

“Now class!” A Durant hopped onto a stand and announced her name. “I am a Durant, and I am your Move Chemistry teacher for this semester. I’ve been a teacher for longer than most of you have probably been born, but this is my first year here at Hixajil. I…”

Longer than most of us has been born? Woah! She must know what she’s doing… Combusken thought, blotting out most of the teacher’s voice.

“Now… let me take attendance real quick. Let’s see… Typhlosion?”

***

Ok, this is English 11… Pidgeot explored the colorful, artistic room. There’s a lot of cool stuff in here, but it makes it look a bit cluttered. As she turned back to the entrance, she saw someone she didn’t want to see.

“Deh… Hey! It’s dat friend of Combusken!” Rapidash, still sporting his speech impediment and accent, smirked at Pidgeot.

“Oh look, it’s you again. I was hoping you’d stop bothering us, but it doesn’t seem to be that way.”

“Sorry girlie, but I’m here to stay. And I’ve got many more skills to outraink dat Combusken in everything, nyeh.”

“Really? What kind of skills? Ballet dancing?”

“Yes.. err… Nyeh no! Of coursed not! I’m doing disco instead!”

“Hey guys hows it going?” The shiny Beautifly randomly flew into the conversation.

“Can’t talk now Beautifly, I’m arguing with my best friend’s arch rival. This doesn’t involve you.”

“Aww… But I want it to involve me!”

“Why are you in this class, anyway? I thought you said you’d be in AP Lit.”

“I’m taking both! I wanted to get both experiences, because I hear that the teacher is…”

“I am Darmanitan, your English 11 teacher, and let me start by giving you a chant.” Darmanitan stood on a desk, and began to play the bongo drums. “Ohmmm… In the depths of Room 245… It holds the tribe of English 11…”

“…interesting.”

~~~~~~

“Don’t go away! We’ll be right back after these messages!” An overdramatic voice proclaimed, beginning the series of commercial breaks. The channel title, Akajoom, popped up as well.

“Do you have unwanted silver, bronze, or gold that you simply don’t care about?” An extremely old Girafarig asked the audience. “Then call us today and we’ll give you cash for your valuables!”

“I could get cash for a golden medallion of me wearin’ a gold medallion!” A grinning Conkeldurr held up a crest that looked exactly like a gold medallion.

Several other monsters started to shout out their gold items. “These gold jackets!”

“My gold toenails!”

“My gold nuggets!”

“My gold chainsaw!”

“My gold hula hoops!”

“Send in your jewelry to us and get cash FAST! In fact, call now and you’ll receive a free bag to send your gold in. It definitely won’t get lost in the mail! Call now! And by the way, this is 140% legitimate.”

~~~~~~

“DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE STAINS ON BEDS AND CLOTHES THAT YOU JUST CAN’T REMOVE?!” Multiple pictures of blotted shirts and messy beds were shown, and hands that attempted to remove said stains with water.

“HI! I’M BURMY MAIM HERE WITH TOXIC-CLEAN!” An insanely over-positive Burmy jumped to the screen. He then presented Toxic-Clean, a spray bottle. “TOXIC-CLEAN CAN REMOVE TOUGH DIRTY STAINS USING REVERSE POISON TECHNOLOGY! HOW DOES IT WORK? LET ME SHOW YA!”

A video started to play of “leading brand stain removal” and Toxic-Clean both removing the same stain. “LEADING BRANDS USE CHEMICALLY EFFECTED WATER TO REMOVE STAINS. HOWEVER, TOXIC-CLEAN’S PATENTED REVERSE POISON TECHNOLOGY USES A RARE FORM OF ANTIMATTER TO REMOVE WHAT CAUSES STAINS IN THE FIRST PLACE.”

“BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! IN SELECT RETAILERS, IF YOU BUY THREE SETS OF TOXIC-CLEAN, YOU CAN GET A FIFTH ONE ABSOLUTELY FREE! A GREAT VALUE FOR ONLY 19, 099 POKEDOLLARS! SATISFACTION GURANTEED! BUY TOXIC-CLEAN TODAY!”

~~~~~~

A dark screen was shown, with sound effects pertaining to the following dialogue was heard. “A special invitation with your name on it… 700 Pokédollars.” The voice sounded creepy, yet cool at the same time.

“A fancy dinner date with your favorite Pokémon… 3800 Pokédollars.”

“Finding out that the entire thing was a bet by one of their friends by bribery… 9001 Pokédollars”

“Finding out that the restaurant owner recorded the two of you and put you in a commercial, then marrying said date decades later… priceless.

“There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s Kakuna Corp.” A golden Kakuna with its arms pointing towards the sky popped up as its logo.

~~~~~~

“Buy the Wii U today!” A Nintendo commercial was spliced in just to be there.

~~~~~~

“…Now we’re back to the season premiere of… ENTRAINMENT! Only on the Akajoom Channel.”

***

“…and that’s why the Fire type is an unappreciated type.” Flareon finished her speech, and as the class of 18 students finished clapping, she sat back down in her seat.

“That was magnificent, Flareon.” The teacher, an Aggron, applauded. “I can tell you spent a lot of time on it.”

“Yeah, and I definitely didn’t spend all night procrastinating on it.”

“Everyone went, right?” The entire class nodded, except for a Hariyama who was looking out the window. “Your assignment is to read pages 26 to 40 tonight, and respond to the eight questions on page 40 with a paragraph for each. You’ll be learning about the Ground type’s defensive nature, and their habitats used to survive.” Aggron described.

Yikes… That’s a lot… Drifblim attempted to process the entire assignment in his head. Maybe I’m not cut out for this…

A Floatzel from the seat behind him poked the Ghost type. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“The internet?”

“Actually I was thinking of pretzels, but yeah, the internet sounds helpful as well. Mmm… pretzels.”

***

“Hey! Combusken!” A seated Zebstrika blandly called to Combusken as he entered the Algebra 2 classroom. He pointed to a seat diagonally away from him. “You sit right over there!”

“What? Who says that I do?”

“There’s a seating chart on the board!”

“Seating chart?” Combusken turned his attention to the white board, where he saw a quickly-made seating chart on the board, placing him in the middle row of seats, close to the left side. “Oh… Wow, a seating chart already?! We don’t even know the teacher yet…”

The rest of the students continued to pile into the room, also confused about the seating chart. Once a significant amount of students sat in their seats, the teacher began speaking.

“Good morning! I am your Algebra 2 teacher.” An Abomasnow announced in a stuffy, bland, yet powerful voice. “You may also know me as the football coach.”

“Wooo!” A Hippowdon wearing a football jersey chanted.

“… Just out of curiosity, I have to ask this…” Abomasnow began. “Do any of your friends actually talk about this class?”

Dead silence.

“We hear that you sing.”

***

“Marine Bio is an interesting class…” Drifblim chatted to Swampert as he exited the Marine Biology classroom.

“I know… There’s so many topics on the sea that I doubt a semester could cover it.”

“You know, someone should definitely make an Ocean Awareness club…”

“But clubs are hard to make in this school… There’s been like 30 ideas pitched and only like six in existence.”

“There’s Art Club… Cinema Club…Dance Club… Fire Science Club… Embroidery Club… Fan-Fiction Club… Fashion Club… I still wonder why that dude made Fashion Club in the first place.”

As the two walked across the street, Swampert had a piercing look in his eyes. “You know what? I’m going to make an Ocean Awareness club.” Swampert declared.

“Seriously?”

“Why not? I’m a senior- it can be a Senior Project. Water types are the most populous out of all the other Pokémon, but there’s been a lot of pollution lately, destroying their natural habitats.”

“Well… I guess I’ll join then.” Drifblim gave in. “But personally, I doubt the club will be that popular.”

***

“Hi… I am your Physics teacher…Lunatone…” The teacher spoke in a terribly monotone voice. “Throughout the year… we will be learning a plethora of concepts…. This includes…

I hate this guy… Pidgeot glared at the bored, uninteresting teacher. I just want to get to my next class… The Flying type closed her eyes, and began to sleep. The teacher didn’t bother to notice and kept talking about the marvelous physics lessons he’d teach that year.

***

“Next time on Entrainment!” Combusken’s voice spoke as the narrator, as the title drop was shown on the screen. Multiple voices then began speaking at the same time.

“The Start of a New Year Party has been canceled?! But why?!”

“The clouds in the sky seem to be changing rapidly… and there’s earthquakes all of a sudden…”

“What?! The legendary Thundurus has appeared?! And he’s claiming that our high school has taken something valuable from him? This is nonsense!”

The voices stopped talking, and Combusken began to speak again. “Next time! On Entrainment, Ultimate Juniors! Episode 751: A Third Beginning! Part 2!”

“Now, the high school’s evolving to Perfect and Ultimate level… Awaken in my fist, getta no ze!”

[ESPNfanatic35]

Hello! My apologies for being away for so long. I got a new job and am still getting used to the schedule. I did catch up with everything I missed, though. Awesome fight with Samurott but I loved the one against Mew Dream even more! Poor Hitmonchan probably felt betrayed by Lilligant, though! At least she only loves Mew "plutonically" or however you spell that lol I have no idea.

Also, Mew seemed like a cool guy. At least he had a reason for being an arrogant jerk, it's so he has a better fanbase! You'll even see real fighter like Rampage Jackson who do stuff like that, so that was good.

And....OMG Entrainment! I love what you did with that!!!!!! So much high school drama and awesomeness! Great stuff! Again sorry I took forever to review but don't worry I'm still reading!!

[Grav]

Hi ! New reader here and i love this fic! I think the fights could use a bit more description but its awesome otherwise. PM list?

[Hilijix]

Hello! My apologies for being away for so long. I got a new job and am still getting used to the schedule. I did catch up with everything I missed, though. Awesome fight with Samurott but I loved the one against Mew Dream even more! Poor Hitmonchan probably felt betrayed by Lilligant, though! At least she only loves Mew "plutonically" or however you spell that lol I have no idea.

Also, Mew seemed like a cool guy. At least he had a reason for being an arrogant jerk, it's so he has a better fanbase! You'll even see real fighter like Rampage Jackson who do stuff like that, so that was good.

And....OMG Entrainment! I love what you did with that!!!!!! So much high school drama and awesomeness! Great stuff! Again sorry I took forever to review but don't worry I'm still reading!!

No prob! I haven't looked at a fic in the forum for months, plus high school is getting harder by the minute. Chemistry homework is twice as long as Drama could ever be...

The Entrainment chapted was super fun to write. Funny thing is I've never watched any live-action high school dramas before. It had a bit of impact from my real high school, which isn't as crazy as that, but it helped detail things a bit.

Hi ! New reader here and i love this fic! I think the fights could use a bit more description but its awesome otherwise. PM list?

Awesome! I do admit that description writing is one of my weaknesses- I've always been the guy who'd prefer a chicken sandwich to a triple burger with everything, if that makes sense. Maybe I should go into script writing... As for a PM list, I believe you were the first to ask for one, so I'll definitely make one whenever I have the time. If anyone wants to be in the PM list, speak up!

As for the next chapter, it's around the halfway point range. I feel that it'll be worth the wait though- Emboar's going to have a lot of background open up.

[Grav]

Mmm. I would think the PM list would actually exist because I think there are a lot more people viewing than reviewing. I am not a dedicated reviewer so don't expect me to do any large reviews.
Also I might not be on here a lot because I am trying to write a PMD fic, a journey fic, a Pokedex based on Cutlerine's Cornelius Rowland's Guide to Pokemon Husbandry, and a oneshot dased on Julian Smith's Youtube vid Malk. Yeah.

[Hilijix]

Mmm. I would think the PM list would actually exist because I think there are a lot more people viewing than reviewing. I am not a dedicated reviewer so don't expect me to do any large reviews.
Also I might not be on here a lot because I am trying to write a PMD fic, a journey fic, a Pokedex based on Cutlerine's Cornelius Rowland's Guide to Pokemon Husbandry, and a oneshot dased on Julian Smith's Youtube vid Malk. Yeah.

Woah, you seem pretty busy! I definitely wouldn't be able to handle that. Good luck with your writing.

Once again, if anyone wants to be on the PM List, speak up!

Edit: WA-HEY! This is the 100th post on this thread!

Chapter 46: Big Emboar’s Spinning Revenge

One week earlier…

Emboar and his coach, Beartic, were waiting near the base of Mt. Coronet. The Ice type had a surprise in store for his apprentice.

“Is it a jug of maple syrup?”

“Nope.”

“Is it any type of food at all?”

“Uh uh.”

“Does it start with the letter B?”

“No!”

“Okay, I give up. What is it?”

“Oh, there she is.” Beartic pointed right. “Look over there.” When Emboar looked to the east, he gasped in astonishment.

“EMOLGA!”

“UNCLE EMBOAR!” The two dashed to each other and gave enormous bear hugs to each other. “Uncle! Uncle! You looked so AWESOME on TV!”

“I am, aren’t I?” The part Fighting type flexed his enormous muscles. “But… why are you here?”

“I wanted to see my uncle again, so I had mom and dad call Beartic up! I wanted to play a snowy area, and this is like the only snowy point in the region!”

Emboar turned to his coach, who was smiling. “Seriously?!” The Beartic just nodded. “Awesome!” The pig turned back to the flying squirrel. “So how’s the family?” Emboar asked. “How are Swalot and Emolga?”

“They’re doing great!” Emolga replied. “I’m going to have a brother soon!”

“Really?! Hoo yay! That means I’ll have a niece and a nephew! I’m gonna be an uncle of two!”

“So, why did you want us to meet at this mountain, Beartic?”

“MOUNTAIN CLIMBING ON MT. CORONET!”

“Yay!” Emboar and Emolga both cheered, having similar personalities.

Five minutes later, three three were traversing up Mt. Coronet. However, it was massive, frozen and had a terrifying blizzard. The incline was not that bad due to the blizzard, but it was more painful due to the sheer fact of Emboar pulling Beartic up the mountain with rope. The terrible part is that Beartic was more than twice as heavy as Emboar! Emolga was sitting on Emboar’s shoulder, watching his progress.

“Gah… Tell me again Beartic,” Emboar groaned. “Why am I pulling you up this mountain? I can handle Emolga being on my shoulder, but lugging you up here is downright painful!”

“Stop complaining.” Beartic mentioned. “You need to get in touch with your inner animal. You see, there was this legendary named Regigigas. He…”

“Regigigas isn’t an animal.” Emolga had to get technical. “It’s a powerful golem monster that no one cares about.”

“Hey! I like Regigigas! I met a Regigigas in college once, and he taught me how to use Fire Punch! Granted, I forgot how to use Fire Punch at this point… But Regigigas is a pretty cool guy, eh! Pulls continents into place and doesn’t afraid of anything!”

“Speaking of Fire Punches…” “Don’t you have to fight Little Hitmonchan next, the champion of the CPFA.”

“Oh yeah… I forgot. It’s been months! I’ve been focusing all my efforts on trying to knock out Kadabra… Scratch that, Alakazam. I forgot about everyone else.”

“Also…” Beartic paused for a moment to turn away from the blizzard. “I haven’t heard about Dewott’s exploits at all lately… I wonder what happened to him. He could’ve quit.”

“He’s probably still around, and I doubt he’d want to quit. I don’t know why he never decided to take me on yet. He’d cream me like a pot of mashed potatoes!”

“Mashed potatoes actually sounds pretty good right now…”

***

“Ok, thankfully the blizzard’s over…” Emboar set foot on the top of the mountain. There was a frozen lake on top, a wooden cabin, and a load of snow. “So… what are we going to do?”

“Play in the snow! Play in the snow!” Emolga hopped up and down.

“Alrighty!”

About twenty minutes later, Emboar, Beartic, and Emolga were making snowmen. Emolga’s snowman was composed of a large snowball and a smaller one on top, with sticks for arms, and frozen berries for eyes. Beartic’s snowman was very impressive, having three snowballs on each other, another stick for a nose, and even a purple scarf for fashion. Emboar’s snowman didn’t look like much of a snowman at all, but its hands (made out of other snowballs) reminded him of his next opponent.

“This guy rubs me the wrong way now that I think of him…” Emboar squinted at the snowman. “If we were almost on equal grounds the last time we fought, just how good is he now?”

“Hey Emboar!” Beartic called near a frozen lake. “Do you want to do some ice-style training?”

“Ice style? What makes it so different than fire style?”

After five minutes of learning the instructions, the three played a relatively simple, but fun, version of hockey. Beartic had more experience at hockey than Emboar and Emolga, so he fought the two in a one vs. two match.

“Hurrr… Hwa!” Beartic knocked his hockey stick towards the slowly sliding hockey puck, blasting it to his apprentice.

“I got it! I got it!” Emboar, who had never played ice hockey before, started running on the ice, eventually gaining speed and missing the puck entirely. “Whoa… WHOA!”

Emboar crashed into his coach due to the intense lack of friction in the ice. Emolga started to laugh, and after a few seconds, Emboar and Beartic started to chortle as well.

After the intense game of hockey, the three were exhausted. Luckily, Emolga brought a snack that everyone could have…

“This is straight from the family as a gift for all your hard work!” The Electric/Flying type handed the two monsters a tasty, colorful jug of sugar.

“Syrup! My favorite!” Emboar smiled.

“Now that’s the stuff! Mm hm!”

***

After getting off of the mountain, which involved an unusual sledding incident that would be disgust most readers, Emboar and Beartic were about to part with Emolga.

“Tell the family I said hi!” As Emboar and Beartic were about to leave, the Fire/Fighting hybrid remembered something. “Oh yeah! One last thing! Tell the family that once I get home… I’ll be a family man! A real one!”

“I will!” Emolga called out. “I don’t really know what it means, but I’ll tell them anyway!”

***

At the present day…

Weezing was speaking to a microphone to speak about yet another exciting match. s“After yet another intense delay due to weather, budget cuts, and the lack of time in a day, I am happy to announce yet another epic champion battle featuring the mind-blowing Little Hitmonchan!”

The fans had cheered like they always did, but some screamed “FINALLY!”

“This exciting, heart-pounding, mind-blowing champion battle shall be between the fan-favorite Big Emboar, and our current champ, Little Hitmonchan!” The crowd screeched in excitement once again. “If Hitmonchan is able to defeat this beefy fighter, he’ll move on to fight the Great Alakazam!

As Hitmonchan stepped onto the ring, he seemed confused. “Hey, don’t I have to fight Toxicroak?”

“Apparently, he seems to have disappeared from the rankings…” Raichu explained. “We don’t know where he went, but he hasn’t filed for a battle for weeks.”

“Oh. Well I didn’t really care that much for him anyway. At least Emboar is funny.”

“Uh, let’s see now…” Emboar was scratching his head on the other side of the ring. “I can’t start until I find my…”

“Your what?”

“My… Wait, I hear her… where is she… Oh wait…THERE YOU ARE!” Emboar found his niece carrying a small cap.

“A cap? What does that you? Give you mystical ancient Egyptian power?”

“No,” Emboar put the dark cap on his scalp. “But it gives me a sense of fashion. Plus my niece can hide in it!”

Emolga poked her head out from the cap. “You’re going down, punch-boy!” The Electric/Flying type then hid under the cap.

“Seriously? Does the rules say we can have more than one Pokémon to fight?”

“We have rules?” Raichu had no clue.

***ROUND 1***

“Hat trick!” Emboar held up his hat, revealing the electric rodent underneath. The champion Thunderpunched his head for a Star. Emboar was still stunned after the punch.

“SKY UPPERCUT!” The moment the blow connected, Emboar started rapidly spinning in place.

“YOW!” When he stopped spinning, Hitmonchan punched him about six times.

“Hrah!” Emboar started by charging up Hammer Arm from overhead. Hitmonchan easily dodged and counter-attacked, but only hit him twice. He then used Arm Thrust, with the same result happening in the end.

He’s a bit more resistant this time around… Hitmonchan thought.

“NEED A HUG?!”

“Nope.” The Fighting type ducked and Thunderpunched Emboar a few times.

“Hat trip!” Hitmonchan hit Emboar again for a Star, then countered an Arm Thrust for anoter Star. After dodging another Arm Thrust and stunning him, the champion then unleashed his world-renowned Sky Uppercut.

“SKY UPPERCUT!”

“YEOW!”Emboar spun again once more. This time, Hitmonchan was able to do ten hits, and knocked the Fire/Fighting type on the tenth Thunderpunch. “TIM…BER!”

“One…two…” As Emboar was on the floor, his niece started bouncing on her uncle to wake up.

“Come on uncle! You can do it! You can beat this guy! Please!”

“Ugh… Ugh… Hm?” On the fifth number, Emboar pushed himself up. He leaned back to use his special attack. “Catch and release!” Emboar delayed his devastating Body Slam to deal eternities of damage to the champion. “Heraaaaa!” Emboar appeared to be using Arm Thrust, but simply moved to the side, as his mouth began engulfing itself with fire. Emolga also popped up for a few seconds. Hitmonchan dodged, but the attack was a delayed attack, and was therefore bitten by the Fire Fang.

“When’d you learn to do that?”

“You don’t wanna know… Hat trick!” When the Fighting type hit the other Fighting type for a Star, he was knocked back, and he took a second to adjust his hat. “Wuh-ho! I don’t want my hat to fall off now.”

“SKY UPPERCUT!” Right after hitting the air, the champ realized his mistake. “Dang it! Completely wasted a-“

“Heraaaaa!” Hitmonchan carefully ducked this time, and proceeded to counter. “Doh!” Emboar utilized a new attack afterwards. He raised both of his fists up, as if he was going to do a duel Hammer Arm. Emolga also popped out of his hat to giggle at the champion. “I’m gonna stop ya!”

“No ya won’t!” Hitmonchan mocked as he dodged the Strength attack.

“Oh!”

As the fight went on, Hitmonchan countered two more Arm Thrust attacks for Stars, and unleashed a level two Sky Uppercut for copius amounts of damage. Emboar did manage to injure the champion with a Hammer Arm, Raichu called the match.

“Round over!”

***INTERMISSION***

“I’m a hugger, not a fighter!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be a lover?”

“That too. But my one and only wife, a glamorous and fragile Lanturn, left me for a CHEATING AMOONGUSS!”

“Really?” Hitmonchan sounded concerned. “How so? I’m a sucker for love stories, thanks to a certain popular television show.”

“Well, it started when we were at this restaurant. You may not see it now, but back in the days where all was red and blue, I was quite the pig muffin. So Lanturn had to stay with me at all times to ward off opposing singles. But one day, a Cryogonal asked me what time it was. I told him it was a quarter to 10 p.m. He thanked me! Then my wife said we should go to the movies. So we got ready to go, but then something dangerous and life-changing happened!”

“Really? What?”

“A Claydol crashed into the building, dressed in full-clad body armor from the 80s, and said some sorta crazy talk! He was like “I am the alpha!” or something like that and started blasting rocks everywhere with Stone Edge! So then I… I…”

“You did what?”

“I…..”

“What did you do?!”

“I…” The pig’s voice began to relax.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

Emboar fell asleep. “Zzzzz… Zzzzz…”

“Aw come on… I was interested about exposition for once.”

Emolga lifted up the hat, and started stomping on her uncle’s skull. “This has happened before. Just give me a sec’.”

As Emolga was waking up her lazy uncle, Hitmonchan’s coach began to speak. “Uck… Don’t tell it to her over there, but I hate Emolgas. They’re so annoying to fight.” Throh shuddered.

“Why is that? Did one steal your chocolate when you were younger?”

“No, thank goodness…” Throh started unwrapping a chocolate bar. “They love to bounce around and dodge everything, paralyze you, and destroy opponent with their insane Acrobatics! Acrobatics is deadly, seriously!”

“Oh, the horror of Acrobatics.” Lilligant sarcastically remarked. “That sounds just as terrifying as a Pelipper using Spit Up.”

“Don’t even get me started on Pelipper!”

“What’s wrong with Pelipper?”

“…… THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!”

“Dude, you’re overreacting again…” Lilligant shunned her odd friend, and turned around, and witnessed a Pelipper staring into her soul. Or possibly her heart. Or maybe even something else.

“MINE?”

***ROUND 2***

“Hey uncle?” Emolga coyly peaked from under the hat.

“What is it Emolga?”

“Are there any cute guys in the audience?”

“Wuh-huh-ho there! I thought you were still into cooties and stuff!”

“Uncle, I’m twelve. And according to TV, that’s the perfect age to start getting into relationships!”

“Hmm… Well, it depends. What are you lookin’ for in a ‘mon?”

“Well… one with a cute yet troubled face, is cute beyond belief, and is a Psychic type.”

“There’s a Slowking in the audience. Is that good enough?”

“No I’m sorta looking for a Mew. Y’know, like Mewstin Dreamer.”

“But those are like finding a needle in a haystack! A really BIG haystack! The size of Johto!”

“Guys can we fight now? I sorta don’t want to be thinking about Mew right now.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. I get distracted easily.” Emboar straightened his hat. “Hat trick!”

After a quick Thunderpunch in the face, Emboar was knocked back to rearrange his hat. “Wuh-ho!”

“SKY UPPERCUT!” Hitmonchan timed his uppercut to connect when Emboar would step back into play, but by some magical force, he dodged the uppercut at the last possible fraction of a second.

“WOAH. That was close.”

“Aw come one! That shouldn’t have worked!”

The match went on with Emboar missing with his famous Body Slam, and getting punched in the face for it, but he did manage to hit the champion with a delayed Hammer Arm a few seconds afterwards. Hitmonchan attempted to counter an Arm Thrust, but ended up being slammed onto the floor instead.

“One…two…three…four…” The fallen champion took his time to get up as the pig was taunting him.

“Ra! Ra! Get up, cause’ I’m gonna stop ya!” Emboar blabbed as he began to use Strength, but ended up missing. Emboar prepared to use Body Slam, but Emolga popped out from under his hat at the last second. “Need a… fooled ya!” Hitmonchan got a Star off of his taunt, ducked an incoming Arm Thrust, stunned Emboar, and used Dig. This, along with a few extra Thunderpunches, was just enough to knock him down.

“Ooo! … Guh.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot that Dig does more damage to Fire types. Geez, has it really been so much since I last fight? I guess I’ve been watching too much TV.”

“Same with me.” Raichu noted. “Lately, I’ve been watching this epic drama called Entrain… Oh wait, I forgot. I have to count. One…two…” Emolga flew back out to wake up her snoring uncle.

“Come on! We’re not losing to this guy!”

“Nerrl… Eh hoom? Oh yeah!” Emboar stepped back up and the match continued. Hitmonchan countered an Arm Thrust easily, but barely dodged a Fire Fang attack. Emboar was countered when he used Hammer Arm for a Star. He then evaded two delayed Body Slams in a row.

“Hitmonchan!” Throh called out. “You’re almost outta time! Finish this off quickly!”

“Thanks for the obvious, doc! I can see the clock from here!”

“You’re welcome!” Hitmonchan dodged a Fire Fang and stunned the pig, and unleased a powerful Dig to knock down the Fire/Fighting hybrid.

“One…two…three…”

“Get up! I said… GET UP! I can only bounce so many times! You’re not falling due to a KO! Not if I can help it!”

“…seven…eight!”

“Err… err hoom?” Emboar, with very little energy left, struggled to stand up, and faked out a Body Slam, granting HItmonchan one star before the round was over.

“Round over!”

***INTERMISSION 2***

“HEY hoser!” Right after he got Hitmonchan’s attention, he unintentionally fell asleep. Emolga popped out to attempt to wake him up again.

“He was probably going to tell you something about knocking you out.” Emolga called out. “Or maybe he was going to talk about syrup…”

“Sounds like something he would say.”

Throh looked through a book of poetry to find something interesting to say. “There are many ways to climb a river, but there is only one way to swim a hill… Wait let me try that again… There are many ways to hill a climb, but there is only one way to river a swim… No no no... There are many ways to eat a chocolate, but there’s only ONE way… To eat a chocolate bar! Yeah! That’s what I meant!”

“Hah hah hah.” Lilligant faked a laugh. “Classic Throh.”

“I still want to know what happened to him at the restaurant.”

***ROUND 3***

“NEED A… Uh-uh!” The champion hit the duo for a Star. “CATCH AND… Ha ha!” The champion once again hit the two for his third Star. “NEED A HUG?!”

Hitmonchan easily evaded the attack, stunned Emboar, and unleashed a level-three special attack. “SKY UPPERCUT!”

“GOOOOOKE!” The punch was so strong that it knocked Emboar’s hat off, as well as the Electric/Flying type instide it.

“Woah woah woah hey!” Emolga squeeled as she was propelled into the audience.

“E… Emolga!” Emboar couldn’t see where exactly his niece landed, but it instead triggered a flashback.

***

“Hwaah!” Lanturn was pummeled to the ground, full of bruises from trying to fight Claydol in the restaraunt.

“L…Lanturn!”

“It’s OK!” A nearby Amoonguss called out. “I’m a doctor! I can heal her!”

Emboar didn’t hear this, and instead glared at the Claydol, who was too busy terrorizing the cashiers to notice. “You’re going down, Claydol! Right now! FIRE PUNCH!”

Emboar did a spectacular Fire Punch to the face of Claydol. At least, he would have, if Claydol didn’t hold him in place with his psychic powers. Right before he forced Emboar onto the floor, he whispered three dramatic words… “WHY…SO…SERIOUS?!”

***

“I…I remember…” The pig looked at his right fist, and it was on fire. “That’s it! You’re gonna pay, hoser!” Emboar’s Blaze activated, spewing bursting flames from his back. “Heraaaaaaaa!” The colossal fighter charged towards Hitmonchan, who had no idea what Emboar was doing. “FIRE… PAWNCH!”

Emboar’s final Fire Punch completely decimated and OHKO’d Hitmonchan…







At least, it would have, if Hitmonchan didn’t counter the attack with a Bullet Punch. Emboar dramaticized the attack so well that the champ would have to purposely not do anything to miss. Hitmonchan’s Bullet Punch granted him a Star, and stunned Emboar for two seconds, which was all that was needed.

“SKY UPPERCUT!”

“Guh-HAWW!!!!!” Emboar started spinning around, the same exact way he did previously, until the ring’s ropes caught him. “GUAW… Guh!” Emboar was then sitting on the floor, until he passed out from exhaustion, and due to the lack of being hungry. “Ugh…”

“Knock out! The winner and champion is once again Little Hitmonchan!”

***

“You won…”

“Once again doc, stating the obvious.”

“It’s all you’re good for.” Lilligant smirked.

“Hey! Give me a little respect! As I was saying, you look mighty tired. Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“We don’t have a bedtime. We spend all of our nights watching Entrainment reruns, playing video games, and watching parodies of popular card game shows on the internet.”

“Oh yeah. …We have no life.”