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Thread: Pokémon Police (PG-13)

  1. #1
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    Aug 2011

    Default Pokémon Police (PG-13)

    This is my second fanfiction, and the first one to be relatively long. This has its insperation from a certain movie that I will not name but you may recognise in certain quotes. This is a tribute to the utterly useless police force in Pokémon, and is a battle between the ultimate Pokemon team and two police officers. What could possibly go wrong...

    Rated PG-13 for mild violence and mild language.

    Chapter List:
    Prologue: First Page, First post.
    Chapter 0: First Page, Fourth post.
    Chapter 1: First Page, Fifth post.
    Chapter 2: First Page, Tenth post.
    Chapter 3: First Page, Twelth post.
    Chapter 4: First Page, Thirteenth post.
    Chapter 5: First Page, Fourteenth post.
    Chapter 6: First Page, Fifteenth post.
    Chapter 7: First Page, Sixteenth post.
    Chapter 8: First Page, Seventeenth post.
    Chapter 9: First Page, Eighteenth post.
    Chapter 10: First Page, Nineteenth post.
    Chapter 11: First Page, Twentieth post.
    Chapter 12: Second Page, First post.
    Chapter 13: Second Page, Second post.
    Chapter 14: Second Page, Third post.
    Chapter 15: Second Page, Fourth post.
    Chapter 16: Second Page, Fifth post.
    Chapter 17: Second Page, Sixth post.
    Chapter 18: Second Page, Seventh post.
    Chapter 19: Second Page, Eighth post.


    A dark room, Unknown location

    This was a dusty, dilapidated room with lots of shadowed places to hide. However, even in the dark gloom of the place, there was an ornate mahogany table, which was plain apart from a few sheets of paper and around fifteen identical Poké balls; the balls were split into two halves, purple with two red circles on the top half, and plain white on the bottom.

    A voice whose owner was shrouded by shadow at the head of the table commented, “Right then…we have all come a long way for this meeting, but I didn’t just call you here for a chit-chat. I have come here to show you an important piece of information that could help us dearly. These sheets of paper,” the host pointed towards the papers on the table, “are very important, and I couldn’t risk losing them or them being intercepted by an unknown agent. Everyone look at them as they are passed around.”

    The fourteen other shadowed figures in the room looked intensely at the writing on the papers, before passing them on.

    As this was continuing, the leader went on, “As for the Master Balls…I have a contact at Silph Co thanks to my dear friend Giovanni, and I managed to persuade him,” the man seemed to have a cruel smile on his face at this point, “that we needed him to get sixteen of these, one for each of us present and also one of us lost beyond space and time. I have already taken mine, so take one each and one only. However, our resident scientist,” he pointed towards an elderly man in glasses and a lab coat, “should take two, all according to the plan.”

    The Master Balls were handed around.

    “On another note…I have to welcome our newest member, W-“

    A woman dressed in a green costume, who obviously the man was referring to, suddenly interrupted him and whispered, “I am sorry to disturb you, but I feel an unknown presence here. Perhaps we could announce this later?”

    The man looked startled at this, before shrugging his shoulders and continuing, “Our new friend is right. I do feel an unknown presence. You can get on name-to-name terms later. This meeting of Team Shadow is dismissed.”

    The group rose from the ancient, decorated seats surrounding the table, and began to depart.


    A bit of a cryptic start, but even so please R, R, and R!
    Last edited by The Lord 67; 21st March 2012 at 7:52 PM.

  2. #2
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    Kutie Pie is offline 桜咲くこの坂を今も上っている
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    Valley of the Sun


    Quote Originally Posted by The Lord 67 View Post
    However, even in the dark gloom of the place, there was an ornate mahogany table, which was plain apart from a few sheets of paper and around fifteen identical Poké balls; the balls were split into two halves, purple with two red circles on the top half, and plain white on the bottom.
    It's nice to give a description of the Master Balls, but there's a little too much in there. It can be shortened by a few words.

    A voice whose owner was shrouded by shadow at the head of the table commented “Right then…we have all come a long way for this meeting, but I didn’t just call you here for a chit-chat. I have come here to show you an important piece of information that could help us dearly. These sheets of paper,” the host pointed towards the papers on the table “are very important, and I couldn’t risk losing them or them being intercepted by an unknown agent. Everyone look at them as they are passed around.”
    You are missing commas at the beginning of the dialogue, and after "table".

    This was a dusty, dilapidated room with lots of shadowy places to hide.
    The fourteen other shadowy figures in the room looked intensely at the writing on the papers, before passing them on.
    "Shadowy", though it's not incorrect, feels a little out-of-place here. At least in the second quote, have it changed to "shadowed".

    As this was continuing, the leader went on “As for the Master Balls…I have a contact at Silph Co thanks to my dear friend Giovanni, and I managed to persuade him,” the man seemed to have a cruel smile on his face at this point “that we needed him to get sixteen of these, one for each of us present and also one of us lost beyond space and time. I have already taken mine, so take one each and one only. However, our resident scientist,” he pointed towards an elderly man in glasses and a lab coat “should take two, all according to the plan.”
    You are forgetting commas here again. The lack of commas will make us mistaken the entire paragraph (or at least half of it) as a run-on sentence.

    A woman dressed in a green costume, who obviously the man was referring to, suddenly interrupted him and whispered “I am sorry to disturb you, but I feel an unknown presence here.
    Again, missing the comma.

    The man looked startled at this, before shrugging his shoulders and continuing “Our new friend is right. I do feel an unknown presence. You can get on name-to-name terms later. This meeting of Team Shadow is dismissed.”
    And again forgot the comma. This is the most common mistake you've made.

    I copy-pasted the prologue on a couple of different word documents to make sure it was a page, and you seem to be okay, but you might be just barely on the line there. At least you heeded to the rules about prologues.

    Well, it at least introduced us to who may be the antagonists of this story. Okay, that's a good start. You even refrained from giving away names, which might have been the best thing to do to keep in mysterious, which is what I believe the genre is, "mystery". Overall, Team Shadow (who I imagine as ninjas... for some reason) seem to not be up to any good. They mentioned Giovanni, and Cyrus in passing, so something tells me there's a connection between the organizations.

    I would make a proper judgment, but I'd have to wait for the first couple of chapters before I do. Well, good luck with this story, you must have improved from your first one since this is written pretty good for a new writer.
    Winner of Best Non-Pokémon Fic of 2016 in the Shipping Oscars
    Forsaken: Chapter 20 - 11/17/14 / Encryption: Chapter 9 - 11/26/17 / Handle with Care: Chapter 11 - 1/10/18

  3. #3
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    Aug 2011


    Thanks for the reply, it was very informative. I will make the changes noted in your post. I personally see this as an action-comedy story, but I can understand that you would find the prologue as part of the mystery genre. Again, thanks for the reply.

  4. #4
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    Aug 2011


    Since there has been no replys, time for chapter 0! This is a second prologue kind of thing which actually holds some spoilers and introduces the first main character. Time for the start of THE WORST EVER chapter titles!

    (A.N: Before you begin, note that the bad grammar in the report is intentional. Just before I get accused of killing good writing.)


    Snowpoint Police Department, A few days before the Prologue

    Say you were a criminal in Snowpoint City, if you were smart you would want to find a list of the police, so would somehow infiltrate the Snowpoint Police Department building, before going into the storage centre. There you would open a door requiring a thumbprint, a key, and a code, and you would enter.

    A man dressed in all black sneaked past all of the incompetent guards and did this.

    There, on walls covered with odd green paint, were some safes. You could find the files on the officers in their grey depths. However, this task would be made difficult because of the unusual filing system in Sinnoh. It wasn’t in alphabetical order, by age, or even by rank, it was how good you were.

    In most cities in Sinnoh, there were five ranks: Bad, Less then average, Average, Good, and Great. 90% of the police were in Bad or Less than average. However, in this particular establishment, there was a sixth: Too good. If you wanted to find the one safe that contained the only file in that rank, you would have to find a secret panel in the floor, remove it, and then crawl through the small air duct. After this, you would find a bone white elevator which required a key, two codes, and also a toe-print to go down to the lower floor.

    The elevator started descending with the same man inside.

    Once you had arrived 400 yards underground, the following two floors of doom were so chock full of lasers, traps, huge titanium pistons and spike plates it would be useless to describe them in detail.

    The man got passed all of the traps and went down another elevator.

    This final floor was half a mile below the first two and was covered in completely white panels. The floor was about a quarter of a mile high and three miles long. This was because of the huge, rusted steel safe residing in it.

    The man started walking towards the safe, passing several long-dead skeletons on the way there, but his journey was hampered by a grating noise from the ceiling, before one of the panels fell away with a huge clang, and a Gigalith fell through, presumably the cause of the skeletons.

    The person grinned, and within moments he was recalling a Shiftry, who had utterly annihilated the beast with a swift Leaf Storm. He kicked the fallen warrior beside, and continued his trek.

    Once he had reached his destination, the man pressed a certain area of the safe, revealing a door dwarfed by the thing it was installed in. After inserting a one-of-a-kind key that could only be found at the bottom of the sea floor in the middle of nowhere, he pushed open the door which issued a low creak.

    This revealed a room full of square grey panels, completely bare apart from a much smaller safe in the middle of the room. The man started to laugh with glee and joy and the fact that it was so easy. This was abruptly ended firstly because of tiredness, secondly because he was starting to have a coughing fit, but mostly because of the police-trained killer Heatran rising up from the floor, bursting out lava which instantly vaporised into gaseous form.

    The infiltrator grinned slyly, before defeating it with one Surf from a Luvdisc. Yeah. You read right. A Luvdisc.

    The man paused, before commenting apparently to no-one, “Heatran fails in the face of any water attack. Even to Water Gun.”

    He reached out to the safe, and opened it without any resistance.

    Inside was a report. A very secret report. Below the picture of a slightly ginger-haired, blue-eyed man with seemingly no personality, these words were placed:

    NAME: Andrew Gramm

    AGE: At time of writing, 29

    RANK: Police Constable


    Arcanine: Given to at start of Police training as a Growlithe at age 15

    Ampharos: Found near the Valley Windworks as a Mareep at age 12

    Arlmaldo: Found as a fossil near the Excavation Site at age 25

    Floatzel: Found near Lake Acuity as a Buizel at age 23

    Krookodile: Found in Victory Road as a Krokorok at age 14/15


    Grew up in Sandgem town, moved to Hearthrome City at age 9. At age 10 starts normal adventure. At age 15 qualifies for the Pokémon League, loses at semi-final match. Goes back to Hearthrome City. Father dies, leaves in mysterious circumstances, treks to Snowpoint, applies to join Pokémon Police Department. Accepted, solves number of supposedly unbeatable cases according to experts, rest is history.


    Has taken up a number of activities including chess, judo and fencing, and holds the record for the 100 metre sprint. Very lonely and depressed. Seems to have no friends or true family. Only things he has friendships with are Pokémon and one non-Pokémon fish called Bubbles.


    Extremely depressed on Tuesdays. DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT EYES.


    The man finished reading this, before he took out a marker pen, crossed out the words Police Constable and replaced it with Sergeant. He then stuffed it into his pocket and began the trek back.


    Thank you for reading! Now please Review and Rate.

  5. #5
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    Aug 2011


    Right then, sorry for this being slightly late and quite short, but I haven't had much time to myself recentely. So now... time for Chapter 1!


    Snowpoint Police Department, around the same time as Chapter 0

    Andrew Gramm was in the hideously coloured Sergeant’s office for the third time this week. Probably to tell him off for causing P$10,000 worth of damage to the Department store after last weeks frantic chase through there to catch a Stunky murderer.

    The Sergeant was a bald, nervous man who liked the sort of attitude that was predictable. His blue Sinnoh policing uniform (strangely similar to the USA’s policing uniform) didn’t fit very well, and envied those who uniforms did fit. Therefore, he wasn’t too fond of Constable Gramm. Even though his picture just showed some blue eyes and a motionless expression, if the person gazed at you for more that ten seconds with those penetrating eyes without blinking you wanted to run away screaming. His eyes didn’t just stare at you. They could almost look at your mind like a book.

    “Andrew, Andrew, Andrew,” sighed the Sergeant, “your record has been…admirable…so I have decided to make you a Sergeant…”

    Andrew continued the gaze with no intention of stopping it.

    The Sergeant gave a nervous chuckle before continuing, “in…Azalea Town. In Johto.”

    The inspector was pleased when the blasted man looked surprised, but Andrew regained composure quickly and said, “But…I like it here. Why Azalea?”

    “Well, you did say a year or two ago you wanted to be stationed there.”

    “Yes. In around twenty years. And I don’t remember you hearing that.”

    The Sergeant smiled nervously at the man, who returned no such affection. The Sergeant trembled slightly, before whispering, “Do you want to take this up to the Inspector?”

    Sergeant Gramm considered this for a moment, before quietly saying, “Yes please.”

    The inspector smiled again, this time with less confidence, before ringing a telephone number. Within seconds, the Inspector rushed in. He had more hair than the Seregeant, and a slightly sharper look. He smiled with confidence before saying, “Well…because of stuff like the incident last week…we thought it would be better if you were in a place with a lower crime rate.”

    Gramm paused, but then said carefully, “I think I know what you actually mean behind these words. But even so, I want to take this up with the Chief Inspector.”

    The two officers stared at each other, before the Inspector rang another telephone.

    The Chief Inspector almost ran in, had all of his hair, and had a very clever atmosphere to him.

    He stared at Gramm, before bluntly saying, “The thing is, you are too good. You are actually ruining everyone else’s records. So off you trot. Goodbye.”

    However, if the Chief Inspector thought that Andrew would leave that easily, he was quickly proven wrong.

    “I will leave,” stated Andrew, “if the squad wants me to.”

    With this he turned around and looked out of the window leading to the main room of that floor to find a few people standing by a banner which said in red block capitals ‘GOOD LUCK IN AZALEA TOWN’. At the sight of this, Gramm just hung his head and walked out of the door.

    He walked past the training room where recruits were getting savaged by their Growlithe, the writing room, and the safes. But as he went past, he heard these words echoed: “Heatran fails in the face of any water attack. Even to Water Gun.”

    After walking down memory lane, Andrew picked up his tickets for the journey, before setting off from the S.S Anne II, the second version of the unsinkable ship, which thanks to the cruel nature of Fate sank.

    Just before leaving Sinnoh, Andrew pulled out a photograph of a fifteen year old boy standing outside of the Pokémon League, smiling with an Infernape, a Flaafy, a Krokorok, a Vespiquen, a Gabite, and a Tentacruel. The man smiled as he looked at the picture, before whispering in a calm voice, “Goodbye, Sinnoh.”

    With a trace of a tear, he entered the boat with a feeling of regret. But he reminded himself the past wasn’t going to change, and things happened so that the future became the present.

    The boat, unlike its sister, was a smaller, faster boat that was less luxurious for the sake of unsinkabilitiness. It was just a thirty-six hour journey from Snowpoint to Olivine City, and on its next journey on the way back it hit an iceberg and sank, which were also the fates of III, IV, VI, and from X to XVII, where the makers eventually gave up.

    From the skyscrapers of Olivine to the forests of Azalea it was a five hour train journey, and he reflected on the good times to pass the journey away. When he had caught Jim the Tearer, and Doctor Mortimer had been vanquished. Policing was his life, and would always be that way. The possibilities of his old life were snuffed out at the age of fifteen. The monotony of the journey was only broken by Krookodile occasionally breaking out of his Poké ball to cause wanton destruction, before Andrew hastily recalled him to there and reminded himself to buy a lock for the Poké ball.

    It was well after dark when the train arrived, and the first glance of Azalea was of darkness and ill bodings. However, the town was very small and old, filled with wooden building and old relics from the past, and Andrew was disappointed to find his purpose in life would only occur around once a year. At best. He was very happy to see someone scurrying along the streets on the way to his hotel, before realising it was Bugsy coming home from his…her…its Gym.

    The place of residence was the Kakuna Hotel, paid for by the Sinnoh Police Agency. Realising that this would cost hundreds of thousands of Pokédollars in the long run, Andrew was happy that this was eating out of their budget. A subtle form of revenge. It was a quaint and quiet place, with small rooms and small meals, but it had a shelf almost designed for a fishbowl. After saying goodnight to his fish, Andrew fell into a deep sleep. Well, he would have done, but the explosion five seconds after he put his head down didn’t like this statement and was exacting its revenge on the clichéness of it all.


    Thank you for reading! Now please review and rate!

  6. #6
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    Jun 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by The Lord 67 View Post
    This has its insperation from a certain movie that I will not name but you may recognise in certain quotes.
    Chapter 1 was virtually identical to the start of the film:

        Spoiler:- Film:
    Last edited by ToeyJoey; 11th November 2011 at 8:22 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bone Cold Marowak Guy View Post
    Because gen. 6 will have 126 Pokemon exactly, and show up near May 24, 2016 (give or take 3 weeks).
    Quote Originally Posted by YourFavoriteUser View Post
    Generation VIII will be awful, I just know it

  7. #7
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    Aug 2011


    Hot fuzz
    100% correct!

  8. #8
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    Aug 2011
    not this plane of existance


    great fic so far, has really great potential. lookin forward to more

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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2011


    He stared at Gramm, before bluntly saying, “The thing is, you are too good. You are actually ruining everyone else’s records. So off you trot. Goodbye.”
    Wow, that had to hurt.
    “I will leave,” stated Andrew, “if the squad wants me to.”

    With this he turned around and looked out of the window leading to the main room of that floor to find a few people standing by a banner which said in red block capitals ‘GOOD LUCK IN AZALEA TOWN’. At the sight of this, Gramm just hung his head and walked out of the door.
    I really feel sorry for this guy. Still, it's pretty funny.

    But as he went past, he heard these words echoed: “Heatran fails in the face of any water attack. Even to Water Gun.”
    That was just pure win.

    Overall, a good fic so far with a lot of potential.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Sorry for the wait.

    great fic so far, has really great potential. lookin forward to more
    Glad you like it!

    Wow, that had to hurt.

    I really feel sorry for this guy. Still, it's pretty funny.

    That was just pure win.

    Overall, a good fic so far with a lot of potential.
    I actually feel sorry for Andrew during this scene. But anyway, thank you for posting!

    Now, here is Chapter 2!


    Azalea Town, Johto

    Sergeant Gramm dashed down the streets in his old uniform, the cobblestones making a dreadful clatter, heading towards the sight of the explosion. He got lost twice in the fog and almost ran into Bugsy, the…thing still on its errands. It was about 20 minutes later when he actually reached the site.

    Blue roof was thrown everywhere. Bits of molten rain were still falling, creating a puny silver river of fire and death. There was lots of blood, the crimson liquid splattered like a Jackson Pollack painting near the epicentre. You couldn’t tread for the broken merchandise. Oh yes, fires were starting to break out.

    Andrew stood in horror at the scene for a moment, before realising from experience that it was an Electro1030 explosive device, the most devastating thing you could get your hands on after all the nuclear weapons were confiscated and fired at Fiore. Nobody liked the place anyway.

    But something was wrong about the place…very wrong. It took Gramm half a minute to work it out, but…

    “Where the heck is everyone?”

    Apart from Corpse Buddy, Doctor Deceased, Mr Blown Up, and of course Sergeant Gramm, no-one was around. Andrew, following the Sinnoh police procedure of staying at the crime scene, had to fight the fires, try to clean everything up, get samples of evidence, duck when there was the occasional explosion, see if there was any important reason for the explosion, and continue doing this from 2 am to 6.30 am. However, his Pokémon helped, Arlmardo tried to clear things up, Floatzel and Krookodile were putting out the fires with water and earth respectively, Ampharos tried to signal anyone that could help, and Arcanine attempted to sniff out any clues.

    At 6.30, the people living adjacent to the Pokémart woke up, had a cup of tea, looked through their windows and screamed, followed by calling 911.

    The sirens could be heard in…half an hour, after some of the braver were helping Andrew clean up the mess. The first car drove into a fire and the engine exploded (nobody was killed), the second drove into a wall concussing the occupant but the third actually stopped without any major injuries. In a tree.

    By the way, Johto has the second best police force on Pokéarth behind Sinnoh. Just for comparison.

    Once the fire crews and the ambulances had arrived, they set about rescuing the police, before tidying up the mess and closing the scene off to the public.

    One of the police force (who had driven into the tree) ambled over to Gramm in his white and black uniform (strangely similar to England’s police uniform) and murmured, “Are you Sergeant Ounce? The one that starts tomorrow?”

    Andrew looked coldly at the slightly plump man and replied, “It’s Gramm actually. But why did the police try to commit suicide?”

    “Well…we think we get a bit panicked when we get into action and…”

    “’We think’?”

    “Well, the last time we had action was 10 months ago. And that was a robbery of a box of cereal.”

    Andrew sighed at this.

    At the police department, Azalea Town

    After getting kitted up with the Johto uniform, Gramm was having a tour of the office with Inspector Staker, a balding, middle aged man.

    The inspector opened the first door in the corridor, which showed a lot of dusty equipment, some truncheons and one gun that looked like it could only reliably harm someone by hitting your own foot with it. He then stated, “Riot room” before closing the door.

    Andrew thought he saw a Rattata looking for scraps in there.

    The evidence room was empty. Very empty. In fact, the only thing in there apart from the empty shelves was a box of cereal.

    “And this,” continued Staker, “is where the magic happens.”

    In this room, six people, one of them being the person who crashed into the tree, all of them eating cake, and also an Ariados which was trying to break into the riot room.

    “These are Detectives Harry and Larry Somer…” commented the inspector, pointing to twins, both with moustaches and both lying back with a…laid back expression.

    “…my son, Will, who you have already met…” he said, pointing at the tree-maimer.

    “…Constable Doris Thatcher…” he murmured, gesturing towards a lady with a strange talent for juggling Poké balls.

    “…PC Matthew Matthewson…” Staker pointed towards a man with glasses.

    “…and Constable Harold Parker with his friend, Webby,” Staker finished, pointing towards a very old man with virtually no teeth, and then at the Ariados which nodded before continuing at its attempts of capturing the Rattata.

    “Now, any questions?”

    Andrew looked around before murmuring, “Why is everyone eating carrot cake?”

    Staker smiled before responding, “As a punishment for general disobedience by the police, we tend to have something nice from them. For instance, the carrot cake is on Will for misplacing his helmet. But for this morning’s event, the people involved will make sure that we won’t be short of ice cream for the next month!”

    A general groan followed by a cheer went round the station.

    “Anyway, it is now 12.30 so I think it is time for lunch.”

    A general cheer went around the station. Andrew just rolled his eyes.

    The Charcoal Farfetch’d, Azalea Town

    The Charcoal Farfetch’d was the local pub in Azalea town, and thus was a very successful business.

    The interior was wood panelled, with a bar on the far wall, and wood decorations, tables, chairs, and strangely wood tablecloths were littered everywhere. All of them were packed. Except one.

    This was an ornately decorated round table, with a cardboard ‘Reserved’ sign on it. Just about the whole police force was there, and they all completely ignored the sign and sat down heavily.

    On seeing Andrew’s curious look, Staker explained, “You know, we don’t do much but we still provide a sort of safeguard to the area, so people here treat us nicely.”

    Andrew still looked sceptical but sat down anyway, before being queried by Will with enthusiasm, “Have you been in action?”

    Andrew turned towards Will and replied, “I have had my fair share, yes.”

    “What kind of action?”

    Andrew looked coldly at him before replying sternly, “Five Hyper Beams, been shot several times, one full on Thunderbolt, been stabbed more times than I can remember, several other Pokémon attacks, was once hit on the head by a freak rain of Gyrados, several blows in various riots and oh yes, I also got clipped on the shoulder my a Mac 10 inch anti-just-about-everything gun with poisonous shells.”

    Just about everyone had their mouths open.

    After a lunch of sorts, Inspector Staker called for attention around the table before saying, “Now everyone, because of the recent incident, these are your changed duties for the afternoon. Harry, Larry, you investigate the bomb scene.” Both of them groaned simultaneously before skulking off.

    “Matthew, Doris, take care of the paperwork involved.” They shrugged before walking back to the station.

    “Harold, patrol the scene with Webby.” He muttered something inscrutable before limping away.

    “And finally, you two should just patrol the village together, try to get to know each other. Oh yes, it would help if you had a Bug or Grass type for your Pokémon you partner with.”

    Andrew just said, “Not a problem,” and pulled out an Ultra Ball before walking out with Will.

    The streets of Azalea, Azalea Town

    The odd duo walked along a lane, one walking next to a very menacing Armaldo, and the second strolling with a Lombre which looked very reluctant indeed.

    The squatter of the pair kept barraging the other with questions, and almost always got the same reply:

    “Have you shot anyone?”


    “Been in a high speed pursuit?”


    “Ever fired a gun in a high speed pursuit?”


    “Alright then…have you seen ‘Pokémon Shootout II’?”


    “Have you seen ‘The Battle of Littleroot’?”


    “You haven’t seen ‘The Battle of Littleroot’? Alright then…do you have a life?”

    “Most likely not. But anyway, what Pokémon do you have?”

    “Oh…nothing much, just my Lombre, and my Slowpoke. Actually, why do you have that weird look in your eyes?”

    At the time when this was mentioned, Andrew had developed such a keen boyish look that it was actually terrifying, but he just quickly developed it into his normal thinking mode and replied, “Oh…nothing.”

    Will looked sceptical, but asked, “Nothing much going on here…want to go to the shop?”

    Andrew looked slightly angry at this prospect, and replied sternly, “There is always something going on. Look at that – actually no, he isn’t any harm, so what about – no, but even so is she -” Andrew just stopped at this point, before looking at Will and asking, “What shop were you thinking of?”


    Thank you for reading! Now please review and rate!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    not this plane of existance


    Quote Originally Posted by The Lord 67 View Post
    “Well, the last time we had action was 10 months ago. And that was a robbery of a box of cereal.”
    read this and couldnt stop laughin..... but still goin great!

    The goats are wise! Eat everything, climb everything. And if something kicks you, kick it back!
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  12. #12
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    Aug 2011


    Sorry for not updating regularly. I have had little time to write chapters, and this is the last one to be fully written at this point in time. Expect updates once per week, but I might be later than that now due to events. But now... time for Chapter 3!


    Humanmart, Azalea town

    The Humanmart was a chain of supermarkets based on this principle: if Pokémon have a ‘mart’, why don’t humans? Due to it being a horrible idea, it immediately caught on and was now the only supermarket chain in Johto. This mystified scholars for many years until the came up with the ‘Theory of Everything’: Nothing makes sense, apart from carrot cake, which funnily enough is not a lie.

    Andrew sighed and put down the packet of cheese, before turning to Will who was looking at the backs of cheap action movies placed on a rack before saying, “It really isn’t right being here, is it? We are on duty, after all.”

    Will turned around to face his co-worker and replied, “It doesn’t matter. No Pokémon over 3 feet anyway. They really aren’t any harm anyway. Also, some suspicious people have been coming round here every week, and I thought you might want to see them. Not really sure if they’re dangerous or not.”

    Andrew looked serious at these comments, before replying sternly, “Firstly, I am serious in the face of 3 foot high Pokémon because I have been savaged by a Rattata once. Not pleasant. Secondly, possibly dangerous people usually are. Where are they?”

    Will shrugged the comments off before replying, “Relax. The danger level here is next to zero. Unhinge your mind, have fun. Also, don’t buy that cheese. I made that mistake when I was 18. I will never be possessed to do that again. Actually, here they are now. Listen.”

    As the second point was made, a voice rang out from the next aisle:

    “Prepare for trouble!”

    “And make that-“

    Before the catchphrase could continue, Andrew burst in on the duo and reached for a Great Ball.

    As this motion was happening, a trainer with a Pikachu ran round the corner before shouting in a feminine voice, “Pikachu! Use Thunderbolt!”

    The electric mouse charged up its power, before launching a couple of thousand volts at the two humans and the Meowth, launching them out of the supermarket and far into the afternoon sky.

    Andrew stopped and looked impressed at the 10 year old boy, before making an ugly connection and calling, “Excuse me? Ash Ketchum?”

    The boy shrugged before replying, “What is it?”

    Andrew mercilessly stated, “You are under arrest for helping known criminals escape more than 700 times, breaching their rights by putting them under excruciating pain and exonerating them of all charges, not to mention never going back for your Pidgeot, being a Gary-Stu, never evolving your Pokémon, and also withholding the secret of the elixir of life, resulting in a potential charge from 7000 years in prison up to ‘OVER 9000!’ years along with a fine of 90 trillion Pokédollars, 30 years in a torture chamber and possibly being hanged, drawn, and quartered.”

    Ash listened to the charges carefully, before he decided to take the best course of action at the time, which was running away with Pikachu hot at his heels. Andrew began to run towards the escaping criminal, and calling out his Krookodile. At the sight of this, Ash pulled out a special tag with the initials ‘AR’ and put it on Pikachu’s ear.

    Ash next shouted, “Pikachu, Thunderbolt!”

    Andrew smiled at the stupidity of the boy, but soon that grin of joy turned to a grimace of horror as the Thunderbolt easily knocked Krookodile out. Andrew looked shocked at this, before bellowing, “Using Action Replays can double you’re prison sentence!”

    Ash just sneered at him, and continued sprinting down the aisle and into the car park, Andrew hot at his heels. But if Ash just thought the police officer would give up, he would have another thing coming.

    Andrew called out his Arlmardo silently, and pointed towards Pikachu. It nodded, and let rip with an unexpected Earthquake. The Pikachu was hit by the intense amount of seismic activity, and fainted without resistance.

    Ash cried out, “You monster!” before dashing off into the entrance to the Ilex Forest.

    Andrew sprinted towards the entrance, before slowing down and stopping at the sight of a burning meteor in the sky. It screamed through the sky, before smashing into the ground in front of him. A huge shockwave resonated from the extra-terrestrial object, knocking Andrew over and creating a solid wall of debris.

    Back at the police station, Azalea Town

    Inspector Staker sighed. The paperwork for the afternoon’s incident was huge, and getting larger with every minute. He looked at the very sorry Andrew, and walked over to him.

    “Sergeant, Sergeant…” he began, pausing for some words to force themselves into his mind before continuing, “It’s alright. Don’t worry, he couldn’t have gone far.”

    “I know sir,” Andrew replied, “I just wanted to get him then and there. By tomorrow, he could’ve gone all the way to Goldenrod.”

    The inspector stopped, before reaching a solution, and saying, “OK then, you can stake out at the forest tonight. See if you can find the rascal. Anyway, you need to know the area better. Go on now. Catch that miscreant.”

    Andrew nodded sadly before walking out, feeling dejected. The inspector waited for a few minutes, before shaking his head and getting back to his desk.

    Ilex Forest, Johto

    The path was shrouded in darkness; the trees not letting any light in. And that was just in daytime. At night, you couldn’t see your hand if you put it two inches in front of your face. Couple this with ditches, mossy ground, bushes, a lake, and at least 50,000 Caterpie; you would expect every ordinary person to hate it. You would be right. But Andrew wasn’t exactly normal in the first place.

    Andrew was having the time of his life. He had fallen in the lake twice, had to wrestle five Caterpie off of his face per minute, had fallen in the odd bush or ditch, but he was enjoying the feeling of the chase. He had always enjoyed chasing down wrong-doers, and bringing them to justice, mainly because of the events of when he was 15. Andrew reflected on these for a moment. If only he had his Pokémon in his Poké balls, everything could’ve gone differently.

    Suddenly, a glow of green light appeared behind a bush, followed by a purple flash, before a blue vortex was conjured into existence. As suddenly as they appeared, they disappeared simultaneously. Andrew peeked through a narrow gap in the undergrowth, before gasping.

    The Ilex Shrine.

    A Pidgey flew in the direction of Azalea Town.


    Thank you for reading! Now please review and rate!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Alright, chapter 4 is coming up!


    Several moments before the end of Chapter 3, Ilex Forest

    Charon blundered through the dark undergrowth. After he had come of the trail, the map was completely useless. How did anyone get to the shrine?

    Just as he thought this, he stumbled into a clearing and stood panting for a while, before raising his head and gasping in shock. What he saw was a red and gold shrine, but it was turning greener by the second. A light blue swirling vortex appeared in an instant, and a green pixie came through it gracefully.

    “Celebi,” said the man in awe, before remembering he had a job to do. With utmost care, he reached into his pocket slowly and steadily, before throwing the Master Ball at a speed not expected from old men. Celebi was completely thrown off and made no attempt to doge the incoming object, and thus it was caught.

    Suddenly Charon, even with his almost deaf ears, could hear a rustling sound behind some bushes. He almost threw himself behind the shrine, away from the noise, and found the second thing he was looking for.

    It was nothing special to look at, being a gold shard of some object wedged into the body of the shrine. It could’ve been an old coin put there for good luck by ancient humans, and would have no practical value. However, Charon knew this was a key for Celebi to travel between the ordinary dimensions of time.

    Charon then hit the jackpot. There was a small, rusted gear lying on the ground beside the shrine. Ariana would just love this. Charon silently sent out a Pidgey from his Poké ball, strapped the gear to its leg, before letting it fly to Azalea town.

    Charon was sure that the person who had made the noise was watching him, so he very quietly sent out the fairy of time and attached the gold thing to its body. He next held on to Celebi and whispered a command into its ear, before they both disappeared.

    A little while later, same place

    Andrew watched the Pidgey fly over the dark forest towards Azalea Town, before slowly sneaking over towards the shrine. He could’ve sworn somebody was over there a second ago, and a Pidgey, which almost always slept at night. Andrew thought that they were definitely related in some shape or form. Just before he was about to release Arcanine and let it follow the scent of the Pidgey, another event made him stop and stare.

    A blue glow seemed to emanate by the patch where the other glows had been. Another blue vortex appeared, but moments after it arrived in this direction a green glow appeared at the entrance, which started to pulsate violently.

    Andrew stared at it for a few seconds, before gazing upwards and gasping. The moon was moving at an alarming rate towards the horizon, before disappearing. The sun rapidly appeared seconds after it, and hurtled across the sky, before dropping below the horizon, and the moon rising again. This cycle repeated three times, before the moon got to the position it was in before the event, and began moving regularly.

    After this, Andrew stood still for a moment, before recoiling. Memories started to flash before his eyes in a rapid blur, but something was wrong.

    He didn’t remember living them.

    They were from his perspective, and he was definitely involved in them. Writing reports that he never did, speaking to Will about some movie that he hadn’t heard of, looking at awful products at the Humanmart that he had no recollection of. Andrew pieced two and two together and recoiled in shock.

    He had travelled forwards in time by 72 hours, having lived the events in the memories…but then again not doing so. Andrew was slightly alarmed by this, but remembered with some satisfaction that time was completely messed up on Pokéarth. Nevertheless, something was wrong.

    Andrew suddenly remembered what he was doing before the entire fabric of time went crazy and sent out Arcanine, which quickly followed the scent trail. Even though it was faint, Arcanine can sniff out trails for up to a month after it had been laid. Andrew started running after the Legendary Pokémon, which had bolted off into the night.

    Somewhere, in a different dimension of time

    Charon was quite pleased with his handiwork. Not only did he deliver the final piece to the gun to him, he had also forwarded the procedure by three days for his ally. Archer would be very pleased.

    Charon looked at the Celebi he was holding onto, being the only other creature in this vortex breaching time and space. He knew that Celebi fought for the power of good, whatever ‘good’ meant in this messed up universe. This was the reason Charon was doing it, not for the power, not for the cruelty, but for the fact that after the deed was done, the world would be normal again. It would be a dictatorship, true, but it would be a normal dictatorship.

    The destination the duo were heading towards came into view.

    Azalea Town, Johto

    Andrew raced after the wolf-like creature as in bounded down the dark streets, its mane swept back with the sheer speed. Quite suddenly, it skidded by an alleyway, and almost flew into its depths of shadow.

    Andrew peered down the alley, and knew something was wrong.

    This was the alley leading to the destroyed Pokémart.

    The man sprinted after his Arcanine, which was found pawing and whining at a small hole buried in the wreckage. When the sergeant appeared moments later, he made an on-the-spot decision, which could prevent any wrongdoing but then again it might trigger it.

    Andrew went back to the hotel and slept through the rest of the night.


    Thank you for reading! Now please review and rate!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    The next right here!


    The Distortion World, ???

    Cyrus, standing in his ragged uniform, watched the glowing portal close just after Cynthia and that blasted Lucas passed through it. However, Cyrus was fairly pleased, even though he had lost. This was a world where there was no emotion, no sorrow. Even though this wasn’t how he wanted this to end, he guessed that everyone was happy.

    Cyrus smiled at this and looked into the blue abyss. The red rock shifted slightly beneath his feet as he looked at his new kingdom. His em-.

    “Boss! Over here!”

    Cyrus dismissed this voice as a mere illusion of his to keep him company, but he turned around slowly anyway and commented, “Nice to see you, invisible fri- wait a second…is that you, Charon?”

    Cyrus had been talking to a blue portal opening up, and sure enough, Charon was flying through it with Celebi.

    “Charon!” shouted Cyrus with a sort of glee, “You’re finally here! Glad that you can join me. Together we can rule this place.”

    Charon looked puzzled as he said,”Actually, we have to go. Plan Omega, remember?”

    “Oh yes. I do remember. But first two questions. Firstly, how did you get here with Celebi? It can’t reach here normally. Secondly, can we come back here afterwards?”

    Charon considered both of these questions, before answering,”For your first question, with the Griseous Orb shard lying by the Shrine, Celebi could use it to get to any dimension that is possible to be existence, and even some that are impossible to exist. For your second question, maybe.”

    Cyrus paused, before running over to Charon, and they both disappeared into yet another dimension.

    Police Department, Azalea Town

    “So what you’re saying is,” said Harry accusingly towards Andrew, “that time skipped three days? The funny thing is that I didn’t notice time skipping over three days. NOBODY apart from you did.”

    “So the main opinion has to be true then? If everyone believes spaghetti grows on trees, it must be true?” replied Andrew fiercly.

    “Actually…I think I experienced the same thing,” Larry mumbled with shame, being part of Harry’s double act in a number of things, “I happened to be suddenly awaked by a nightmare about being eaten by a potato around midnight…and I experienced what you just described.”

    Harry looked upon Larry with a mix of shame and curiosity (I mean, who has nightmares about being eaten by a potato?), before he boldly said, “Even so, why would someone want to skip ahead time three days?”

    Andrew looked puzzled, before answering, “Well…it can’t be to miss something because otherwise everybody would have to be awake, or…Inspector, are there any events that will happen soon?”

    The inspector was standing beside the window, looking on at everyone arguing about the event, before replying, “Well…today being the 21st of December…there is the night of the trio tonight.”

    Seeing Andrew’s curious expression, he continued, “The night of the trio is when Zapdos, Moltres, and Articuno migrate across Johto, and it is a rare chance to see them. However, they have never been caught because it is a lesser known fact that Legendary Pokémon are not fully anchored in this dimension, thus making them impossible to catch with a Poké ball. But anyway Andrew,” at this he steered Andrew towards the video monitors,”We seem to have found the culprit for the explosion.”

    Andrew looked in horror as he saw a…thing with purple hair and a green…outfit place the bomb near the Poké mart, before breathing, “Bugsy.”

    Azalea Town Gym, Azalea Town

    The gym was decorated with green paint, live plants and bug Pokémon coating the walls. Bugsy was standing at one end of the pitch, its feet very tired and it was bored out of his mind. And it had to do this every day, 11 hours a day, 6 days a week. No breaks or holidays with no-one to talk to. And people wondered why gym leaders were so strange.

    Bugsy was therefore pleased to see a person striding towards him, but that pleasure vanished went it realised it was the police.

    “Now then-, “Andrew started, before being cut off by Bugsy.

    “Have you come to rescue me? PLEASE RESCUE ME! I WANT TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE AGAIN!”

    Andrew looked a little surprised at this outburst, but anyway continued, “You are under arrest for under suspicion about blowing up the Poké mart a few days ago. Come with me.”

    Bugsy looked tempted at being taken to prison, but then realised that if it was found guilty it would be taken to the maximum security vault. It never wanted to go down that trail again.

    “Actually officer, I have evidence of my innocence.”

    At this, a screen slid down from the ceiling, showing Bugsy leaving the gym 2 hours before the explosion, and a second video clip showing Bugsy entering its house before the time of the explosion, having not gone near the bomb site.

    Andrew looked with interest at these clips, before concluding, “I see. Well, I may need your help for inquiries later, but for now, goodbye.”

    Andrew was just about to leave through the double doors when he realised that he had seen the ‘champ in the making’ guy leaving at around the time of the explosion on the police security cameras during the mysterious three days lapse.

    Andrew walked over to him, spotted a Bugsy costume concealed cleverly up the front of his shirt and said sternly to him, “You are under arrest for suspicion of committing a crime earlier this week, killing several people and damaging property. Not to mention impersonating a cross-dresser.”

    After a brief spurt of rage from Bugsy, the person said, “Alright, alright, you got me fair and square. Take me away.”

    Andrew looked surprised at this, and replied, “This is odd. Why aren’t you trying to escape?”

    The man’s expression changed, and he said fiercely, “That was a joke. This is my real plan.”

    He flung the costume from him, sending out a Beheeyem as well as several packs of ninja throwing stars. Andrew ducked and rolled to avoid the simultaneous attacks of a Psybeam and some throwing stars. Andrew wondered why on earth the Johto government had allowed every type of weapon except a gun. Hell, his opponent could’ve got those from down the street.

    Andrew stopped thinking too much about the uselessness of the Johto government and rapidly sent out his Floatzel, which roared and crunched down on the Beheeyem’s head, knocking it out instantly. The impersonator looked shocked at this, before shouting, “Ah well, Beheeyem isn’t that good. Now, look! A distraction!”

    Floatzel looked at where the liar was pointing, but Andrew replied coldly, “I won’t be fooled by that.”

    Andrew probably should’ve listened to his enemy’s advice, as a lurking Spinarak threw itself onto his head, causing Andrew to flail around and hit his own head with anything available. His Floatzel tried to prise it off his head, but failed miserably. The assailant took this time to throw some more stars at the duo, and made his way to his goal.

    Andrew could do nothing as his opponent managed to reach the Beheeyem, and could only stare as they both teleported away. As soon as they left that particular part in space, the Spinarak jumped off of Andrew’s head, and crawled away, very pleased at its handiwork. Andrew stamped the floor in anger, before storming out of the door.

    A green hair floated slowly down.


    Thank you for reading! Now please review and rate!

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    After another week, here is Chapter 6!


    The dawn of time, the Universe

    A vast universe loomed. Stars twinkled, supernova’s exploded, and black holes mercilessly destroyed planets. The universe was in order.

    “Finally! It’s done! And that didn’t take forever.”

    These were the words of a very exasperated Lord Arceus, ticking off the last item on a very, very long list. As in, it was the size of a fairly small galaxy.

    “I need a rest,” grumbled Arceus, stretching its back, “Celebi, can you go forward in time and get me a drink? Preferable lots of them.”

    The small green pixie, hidden by the immense size of Arceus, replied, “Yes master.”

    With that it disappeared into a blue void. Arceus sighed contentedly at its handiwork. This universe had taken quite a while to make, if ‘a while’ meant anything in a place that had no time. But now Celebi could use its powers, Arceus could get a freaking drink.

    The blue void returned, thus marking the return of the green pixie thing. Arceus turned towards the portal, unsurprised to see Celebi, but surprised at the lack of drink and of two humans that seemed to be in space suits.

    During this moment of surprise, Arceus lowered its non-anchoring dimensional-thingy-ma-bobby shields and was completely in that dimension. Cyrus recognised the stance of weakness from several texts (not the mobile phone kind), and threw the Master Ball.

    Arceus was enveloped in shining purple light, and the ball shook.




    The chiming music did not sound in the cold, dark vacuum, but Cyrus gave Charon the thumbs up. He picked the ball up gingerly, and the trio of villains went back through the portal.

    Azalea Police Station, Azalea Town

    Matthew Matthewson looked at Andrew whilst eating some of Azalea’s Police station’s endless supply of cake. Matthew was looking sceptical at Andrew’s claims at the passage, and was amused to see Inspector Staker ask Harry and Larry to investigate with Andrew. They all got along like a house on fire, which was right next to a pile of TNT which was in a hospital full of children that wanted the hospital to be set on fire. In other words, not very well.

    As they left, Matthew sidled over to the security cameras. He wanted to see this.

    Azalea Town, Johto

    Harry, Larry, and Andrew walked briskly alongside each other silently. The air seemed to chill as they walked along, occasionally freezing the water. As Ground Zero loomed, Andrew released his Arcanine and Ampharos into the open air. He was not going to let them get away this time.

    The ruins of the Poké mart were still slumped over the area. Twisted metal and glass lay everywhere, creating an impenetrable barrier. The atmosphere was grim as the trio set to work, trying to remove the rubble. The cold, hard materials refused to budge.

    But just as Andrew was going to give up hope (the other two already had) his Arcanine pawed at a spot of debris, and started barking loudly.

    Andrew rushed over, the other two walking slowly behind, and at the exact spot where the Arcanine had been pawing at was a small hole in the ground. It was nothing special to look at, but as Andrew stuck his head in the large-ish hole, the immense scale of the depth was surprising. So surprising, in fact, that as Andrew peered at the gargantuan space; he started to slip in, grabbing Harry and Larry for support, but as they were laughing at Andrew’s misfortune, they were in no state to help Andrew, so they were slowly dragged in, holding onto the metal.

    Even so, their strength was not enough, so they fell for what seemed like an eternity into the dark void.

    Near Slowpoke Well, Azalea Town

    Archer, Ariana, Petrel and a couple of Rocket grunts stood in the spotless room. Metal surfaces, computer screens, cameras, and papers cluttered the room. A huge touch screen on the wall dominated the remaining space, showing charts, graphs, statistics, and more. In the centre of the screen was a percentage bar, 87% of it filled up.

    Archer was pleased at this. After the gear had been sent, as well as the time warp he had kindly added in, the cannon would be ready in time for the festival. Proton had done a good job repairing the contraption, so nothing will stop-

    “Sir! We have intruders, sir!”

    Archer snapped out of his daydreams and replied wearily to the grunt, “What is it, Kevin? Because I swear, if it is another Pokémon, I will shove its head down your-“

    The grunt hastily answered, “No sir! Three humans, an Arcanine, and an Ampharos! In sector 3.rA. We don’t have a clear image sir, but we think that they are some elite police.”

    Archer grimaced, before ordering fiercely, “Gather some troops to dispose of them. We want no survivors.”

    The grunt smiled cruelly before dashing out of the control room.

    Down the hole, Azalea Town

    Andrew opened his eyes slowly. The sight surprised him, as he was expecting to be dead. However, the reason for this was explained thanks to some conveniently placed mattresses. Harry and Larry seemed to be alive, and the same story applied to Andrew’s Pokémon.

    Andrew sat up as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. What he saw was staggering.

    They were inside a giant storehouse. Food, water, mattresses, forms of entertainment, not to mention thousands upon thousands of Poké balls were packed together tightly.

    Larry breathed these few words, “So this was the reason the Poké mart was destroyed. They were planning an extension, and the owner of this place didn’t want this to be discovered.”

    Harry looked at a label before saying, “This belongs to Team Rocket. If you want to know how I know that, it says ‘Property of Team Rocket’ here.”

    Andrew fiercely stated, “Get your Pokémon ready. I sense a fight coming.”

    Harry and Larry sent out Victreebel and Vileplume respectively, before Harry queried cautiously, “You know the moves Bullet Seed and Cut? As well as the fact that you can buy specialised weapons such as weakened axes for your Pokémon?”

    As Andrew nodded, Larry stated, “We took them a bit further.”

    Shouts along the lines of, “They’re close now!” and, “I think I can see them!” came from behind several shelves of items, Harry said epically (if that is a word), “Let’s go.”

    At these words, Vileplume suddenly conjured a samurai sword, and Victreebel pulled out (from nowhere in particular) two pistols. As Andrew gaped, the pair flung themselves through the shelving and started to completely annihilate the competition, literally mowing them down with a couple of expert slices and some reckless bullets (which Andrew saw to be a particular kind of seed that could withstand high velocity). Harry and Larry quickly followed, throwing some powerful punches which easily knocked out the black-suited grunts.

    Ampharos and Arcanine looked at each other, shrugged, before joining the carnage. All Golbat, Raticate and Arbok that managed to join the fight were knocked out by these two in around 2.89765354 seconds.

    A burly Rocket grunt that was actually still standing after 30 seconds made his way over to the motionless Andrew, before throwing a brutal punch that sent him several yards away from the assailant. Andrew landed in the middle of a couple of cardboard boxes, before scrambling up to meet the attacker. He smashed the grunt’s face with several punches as well as an uppercut. The grunt smiled at this, not being fazed in the slightest. Andrew gasped for breath for a second, surprised at the fact that the Rocket grunt wasn’t retaliating. He tried a roundhouse kick to the face.

    Big mistake.

    The grunt seemed to take offense to the Chuck Norris-style kick, and as the foot came close, he threw it vertically upwards.

    Andrew’s body followed.

    The grunt was preparing a huge knuckle sandwich (not the literal kind) for when Andrew came back down. After 15 seconds, the grunt was confused at why the laws of physics weren’t operating normally, and he put it down to a phenomenon.


    The grunt looked up, and saw Andrew drop from a very convenient girder, before whiting out as his foot contacted with the grunt’s skull.

    The others rushed over to him, Ampharos and Arcanine with more concern than the rest.

    As he got to Andrew, Harry asked, “What now city boy?”

    Andrew looked at the entrance where the grunts had come from, and then at a huge stack of weaponry.

    “I’ve got an idea.”


    A nice cliffhanger ending for you! Now please review and rate.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Here is another installment of 'Pokémon Police'. Please note that the next chapter will be later than usual. Just saying now.


    The Team Rocket Secret Base, Under Azalea Town

    The time was festive for the Team Rocket grunts. The holly and the ivy were draped over the walls, wreaths were hung over the sleek metal doors, and stockings were attached to beds in the dormitories. Friendly battles were being fought all around the base, Santa hats were being worn, as well as the ancient custom of sneaking around, stealing from the local shops to get each other presents. Christmas cards were being passed around the corridors of the base, usually having Delibird or Stantler on them. Everyone was in the festive mood.

    Today (the 21st of December) was when the Secret Santa presents were given out. Almost everyone in the base was huddled in the dormitories, about to give each other nasty, horrible presents like socks, or clothes.

    As the disappointment was about to be unveiled, one of the grunts with excellent hearing, well, heard a slight bang come from outside one of the doors. She readied her hand by her Poké balls, but didn’t open them as it was probably a friendly battle. Probably. With screams added for fun. Yeah.

    Somehow, this wasn’t reassuring.

    “TAKE THIS!”

    Everyone in the room turned to see a rocket scream through the door, embedding itself in the wall deeply. Then it started ticking.

    Snowpoint Police Department, Sinnoh

    The Inspector stared thought fully into space as he was checking reports. His job was good, just very boring.

    As he failed to read another sentence, the Inspector heard a very small rumble far off in the distance, from the general direction of Johto.

    A small tremor started, knocking desk tidies, priceless photographs and other junk off of desks. Soon after, another tremor knocked people over instead, and caused 6973 minor injuries and 17 major injuries in that district alone.

    As everybody was getting up, a dust cloud flew in at supersonic speeds, sanding tables, various bits and pieces, as well as some people’s faces. Not pleasant

    Most people would blame these odd events on random meteorites or earthquakes, but the Inspector knew better.


    The Team Rocket Secret Base, Azalea Town

    Boulders and stones covered the area. Dust swirled around in vicious storms, daring anything to get up. Light was filtering in from some holes in the newly created open-air dormitory.

    Some of the rocks shifted. From them, Ampharos and Andrew emerged, dragging a semi-nuclear rocket launcher, looking very pleased at their handiwork. The four others dragged themselves out from the detritus, not looking as pleased.

    “You idiot,” growled Harry as he approached, “Firstly, you nearly killed us all, and secondly they now know where we are.”

    Andrew retorted, “Well, they already knew that we were here, and didn’t you say you wanted target practice for your Victreebel?”

    Harry shrugged and mumbled something about Andrew being right.

    Andrew commanded, “Come on, as we now have the element of disorientation-caused-by-rocket-launchers!”

    The duo followed Andrew, Larry mumbling something about how much legal trouble they were getting into, and Harry saying something about them being in a lot of it.

    For the rest of the afternoon, the trio were busy slaughtering the opposition with some upgrades. Vileplume was literally cutting the enemy up with its greatsword, with Victreebel firing an assault rifle, the ammo being a special kind of seed which grew Triffids. These would then eat any people in the immediate are, before dissolving after 30 seconds.

    Funnily enough, when anyone in the area said they looked like Triffids, a very random roar of rage could be heard, before Hyper Beams just miss the people who said it (A/N: For details on this, read Pokéocalypse).

    Anyway, Ampharos was being epic with a grenade launcher, with Arcanine using a Pokémon-modified flamethrower (Well, it is a waste using up PP). Harry and Larry were using clubs, and Andrew used old-fashioned hand-to-hand combat.

    By the evening, not many Team Rocket members were left.

    If you want to imagine the scene of horror, take a nice, chrome-styled passage, and then add lifeless corpses, blood splattered over the walls, fire, entrails, missing appendixes, etc. Even Vileplume was showing some signs of being sickened by it.

    As the night, and the countdown approached, Andrew stood at a door labelled ‘The bosses’ room’.

    All of them nodded simultaneously, before not bursting in the room, as the Rocket Executive Archer opened it for them.

    Both parties stared at each other in shock.

    Archer said calmly, “Hello there.”


    Thank you for reading yet another cliffhanger! Please read (hopefully) review and rate!

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Sorry for being one week late, but here is chapter 8!


    The Team Rocket Secret Base, Under Azalea Town

    Archer said calmly, “Hello there.”

    Before any member of the other side could reply, or even do something, Archer continued, “It’s nice of you to join us now. We have just finished our preparations, and we would be honoured if you could join us.”

    Either mesmerised or suspicious (take your pick) Andrew and co followed him inside in a daze. Scientists, as well as evil scientists, busied themselves around the base as they calculated calculations, stuffed stuff, experimented on experiments, and working on work. However, in this room, the centre of attention was given to a huge machine.

    This machine was big. Very, very big. It was also covered in rust. The actually machine was a cannon. Lots of gears were devoted to this machine. However, the ‘master’ gear, the one that held the machine together, was co-incidentally the same one as the gear in Chapter 4.

    “This,” stated Archer, pointing at the mechanism, “is the core of our operations here. Thousands of years ago, an ancient civilisation constructed this machine to capture Legendary Pokémon. You see, this cannon takes in a special warp-drive-style of energy, creating a huge flash of semi-nuclear light. The light has special properties that seem to anchor Pokémon into this dimension, and even if the light failed, it would usually startle the Legendary Pokémon, exposing them.”

    As soon as Andrew put his hand up, Archer snapped, “No, I do not know how the people knew about warp drives or semi-nuclear light. When they realised that Poké balls hadn’t been invented yet, they probably threw this machine away.”

    Harry breathed, “You are a great lecturer, sir. Can you please tell us your secret plan?”

    “Sadly, no. But let me tell you this: in two weeks time, the world as you know it will end.”

    “Well, thanks for the tour Mr. Archer,” said Andrew as his colleagues looked around in amazement, “but we need to go.”

    Archer looked at him for a second, before replying, “Sadly I cannot let you do that. We will have to…dispose of you.”

    “Thanks a lot – wait what?” exclaimed Andrew, at roughly the same time as thirty Rocket Grunts pulled out various weapons.

    “Goodbye, officers,” commented the admin of Team Rocket, before all hell was let loose.

    The weapons of the grunts blazed with fire and death. The trio of officers had the sense (from experience for Andrew, and from watching a lot of action movies for the other two) to dive behind the nearest cover. This happened to be the bullet proof launch controller.

    Extraordinarily, one bullet hit the convenient button which read: Activate.

    A deafening rumble sounded from the machine on its platform. Several blast doors seemed to open from underneath it, with a few electro magnets slowly lowering it. Sirens and klaxons rang from every corner imaginable. The grunts looked around for a second, worried, before they scurried away down different passages.

    Andrew gained his breath back slowly, before signalling towards the still-lowering machine.

    “Are you mad?” breathed Larry, “You aren’t a superhero, city boy. We can’t stop it.”

    Andrew glared into Larry’s eyes and replied, “I can fix this. Trust me.”

    As Larry squirmed away out of pure fear, the other two hopped a short distance onto the moving platform. If you want to know how fast it was going down, think of any number, and then divide it by infinity.

    Anyway, as Larry walked fearfully across the Halo-esque area towards the platform, Harry asked Andrew, “Can you really do this?”

    Sergeant Andrew turned towards him, before replying coldly, “Yes. But I need a left-handed monkey screwdriver.”

    “Stop being silly.”

    “I’m actually being serious.”

    Harry thought for a second, before reaching into a trouser pocket that only existed for this plot and was actually useless for any other purpose. He then drew out, to Andrew’s amazement, a left-handed monkey screwdriver.

    “You know, I actually made a pocket specifically for these things. And before you ask me about what drug I was on at the time, if I told you, I would have to kill you.”

    Andrew closed his mouth.

    Several hours later

    “This is taking a while.”

    Andrew was poring over by the inner workings of the machine, whilst the other two were slumped up against the wall, bored out of their minds.

    They had only dropped 21 feet.

    After a few minutes, Andrew turned away and sighed, “No way into the machine. We just have to stop it manually when we actually get to where this thing is going to be activated.”

    Just as Harry was going to say something along the lines of, “At the end of time,” the machine dropped sharply, before racing along a tunnel at Mach 4, and gently slowing down.

    “I didn’t expect that.”

    As the air became fresher near the end of the tunnel, Larry commented, “This looks like Slowpoke Well. Look, you can see the ladder up and those odd…grooves…uh…I think I know what Team Rocket was really trying to do down here a few years ago.”

    As the tunnel ended, the machine clipped onto the grooves, and started moving steadily upwards, towards the beautiful night sky.

    The night of the trio had begun.


    Thank you for reading! Now please review and rate!

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Alright, time for chapter 9.


    Above Azalea Town, err…Azalea Town

    If you were in a hot air balloon that night, you could’ve seen the festival going on beneath you. People were having a good time, drinking, playing silly games like ‘Pin the tail on the Zebstrika’, but most of all keeping high levels of relative sensibleness. No-one below you would want to be humiliated at these kinds of parties. Well, maybe during the parade. Even so, streetlights were turned on during the cold winter night, as the ‘innocent citizens’ were gathering around to see the parade and who would accidently embarrass themselves. People are cruel that way.

    However, if you looked above you, into the cloudless night, you would see an enormous moon. The bright light of it would penetrate any clouds that would be there. Every jagged crater was easily visible to the telescopic eye, but even with the naked eye you could easily see more craters than usual.

    If you had really good eyesight, you could see three silhouettes outlined against the moon. If you had NASA-esque telescopes, you could be able to see the rough bird-like shapes flying along towards Azalea Town. If you got closer, you would see their features.

    The first was a blue-white eagle, flying along with grace and magnificence, a trail of snow particles falling behind it. The second was a yellow falcon, with the sole, but significant, detail being that it was shrouded in red flame. Finally, the third bird was a yellow and black hawk gliding through the air, emitting a small electromagnetic field. You should probably know what these three unique birds are, and if you do not you should go through a first-gen game.

    If you were very close, and if you were skilled in Pokéspeak, you could listen in on this conversation between the birds:

    “Alright: Zapdos, Moltres, time for the annual gig again. Don’t overdo yourselves,” crowed Articuno towards the other two birds.

    “Articuno, we’ve being doing this for hundreds of years, we don’t need help,” replied Moltres irritably.

    “Moltres, Articuno is right,” interjected Zapdos, “Even though we have been doing it for a while, we have only been doing this professionally for about 12 years. We need to impress the managers.”

    Alright, time for a bit of background information. From the beginning of the existence of man, these three birds have flown over the Johto-Kanto area to show the power of Pokémon to the masses. The trio would show off their elemental power by using attacks in the air. These would usually entice the primitive humans. However, after the events of The Power of One, they decided to become friendly, or at the very least less of enemies, and purse a career of providing the special lighting and pyrotechnic effects at rock concerts. However, this was proving unsuccessful because any manager who was approached by the trio would run away screaming and/or beg for their life.

    Now, back to the story. With the small conflict resolved, the three began to put on a magnificent show; Arcticuno froze water vapour in the sky, before Moltres melted it and formed it into rain. Just before it hit the ground, Zapdos swooped down and zapped lightning from particle to particle, creating a magnificent show of lights.

    Similar combinations happened through the night, and about half an hour after they arrived, the birds began to depart over Slowpoke Well.

    However, unbeknown to them, something below them began to crackle with energy.

    Slowpoke Well, The outskirts of Azalea Town

    By this time the platform had risen just above ground level, enough so that if you tried to get down, you would break your legs, your neck and/or your face.

    “Y’know Andrew,” commented Harry nastily, “if you get us into trouble, I will screw you over multiple times, with an odd combination of my left-handed monkey screwdriver and a movie ticket for Avatar. Just saying.”

    “Nice of you to say that,” muttered Andrew, having retracted into his normal, depressed self.

    The silence of the night was deafening.

    As if to break the ice, the core of the machine started to glow with an odd purple…err…glow. Along some previously unmentioned grooves in the machine, the light spread, until all of the grooves connected at the tip of the cannon. There, the energy began to form into a ball, growing bigger and bigger with time.

    With a deafening bang, a beam of energy was let loose, spraying conspicuous CGI particles everywhere. It was frightfully accurate, having managed to snipe the three birds out of the air, truly revealing them so that they may be captured.

    As if on cue, several helicopter gunships majestically came out from a convenient hill in the distance, soaring towards the injured birds. Hanging from rope ladders, Ariana, Petrel and Archer flew towards the crippled beasts, and to Andrew’s horror, captured them easily with the Master balls.

    However, one of the gunships came over to the cannon with another Executive hanging on a rope ladder. As it inched nearer, Andrew could make out the features of Proton, the forgotten Rocket.

    When it was close enough, Proton leapt off and plucked the core out of its holder, laughing at the success of the operation.

    That was before he noticed Harry and Larry lunging for him with harmful intent.

    Actually, they might have connected if Proton hadn’t noticed them. With a flick of his hair, Proton jumped onto the ladder with ease.

    “Sayonara!” he yelled with glee, before a hand gripped his ankle.

    As the gunship flew off, Proton looked down at the thing holding onto said ankle 50 feet above the ground, and it turned out to be Andrew. The hand was kicked away just as Andrew grabbed onto the ladder, before an in-flight…fight commenced.

    To cut a really short fight shorter, and editing out a lot of cursing, basically Andrew tried to grasp the ankle again in an attempt to pull Proton off. Unfortunately for Andrew, he lunged with the hand that was hanging onto the rope.

    “CURSE YOU!” screamed Andrew, as he flailed through the air desperately.

    The ground was getting ever closer, the citizens rushing around to get a good view of his death.

    A split second before he hit the ground, Andrew realised he wasn’t falling and opened his eyes. Below him was a disappointed ground, but right beside him…

    “How is this thing even flying?” yelled Andrew as the Dodrio, being rode by Inspector Staker, glided slowly towards the upcoming ground.


    Thank you for reading! Now please review and rate!
    Last edited by The Lord 67; 18th January 2012 at 6:01 PM.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Alright readers, welcome to Chapter 10!


    A week later, Azalea Town’s Police Department

    Andrew struggled against sleep deprivation, and failed, before literally face palming into the wooden desk he was working at out of exhaustion.

    He had been at that desk for 72 hours straight, with a total of 1 hour of sleep.

    After the abnormal experience of flying on a Dodrio, Andrew was, well, not really shouted at. Inspector Staker just gave a feeling of disappointment. After Harry and Larry blamed it all completely on Sergeant Gramm, Andrew was asked to do all of the paperwork as a punishment for causing so much damage that it was straight out of an action movie

    Having the unfortunate character flaw of being helpful, he obliged. However, at the time, he didn’t realise that it consisted of just over a thousand pages in size 8 font. This included hospital bills, trauma therapy, funerals, reports, records, the cleaning up of the mini-Triffids, damage observation, photographing locations and people, interviewing, placing an order for cordons that had never been needed before, and the bill for sandwiches from a local café, among other things. Fortunately for him, Andrew was a very fast reader as well as a writer, meaning that in the 72 hours he had actually gotten through most of it. This had the unfortunate side effects of lack of hygiene, eating, drinking, loss of (in this case any potential) social life, and just general tiredness.

    William squeezed through the doorway into the room, before sitting heavily in a chair adjacent to Andrew, startling him into his standard depressed feeling.

    Andrew yawned loudly, before mumbling, “This really isn’t the time, Constable Staker. I really ought to get back to-“

    Andrew was asleep before his head hit the table. Will shook his head, before patting him on the back and leaving.

    A few hours later, same place

    Andrew ticked the last box on a piece of paper and breathed out contentedly. After the short sleep break, Andrew pressed on and finished the paperwork at exactly 2.34 pm. It was his day off, but he didn’t care. All he really needed was a sleep, or a rest.

    At that moment, Constable Will Staker and his chins entered the room quietly, before saying wisely, “You really do work, don’t you?”

    Andrew mumbled a reply on the lines of, “Yes.”

    “Well, don’t get me wrong, it is rather impressive, but…you sort of get excited at the prospect of catching a criminal, but apart from that you just seem depressed.”

    Andrew paused, before replying sadly, “I know…”

    Will suggested this: “I think you need to have a bit of fun/character development. I see you don’t have any real friends or ways to unwind – oh, no…”

    As he said, “oh, no…” Will seemed to hear a very quiet roar that seemed to span the dimensions of fanfics, on the lines of, “DIE!” (A/N: See my other fic, Pokéocalypse for more information on the running joke). A Hyper Beam could be seen at that time just outside the Police Department, vaporizing a nearby bush.

    Will paused to see that he hadn’t died yet, before continuing, “If you want to know how to unwind…I can show you how.”

    William’s home, Azalea Town

    Imagine you live in a small, squalid home in which you have to sleep with our clothes on your bed to keep warm, with dirty carpets, and the only pictures you have are cut out of newspapers.

    Funnily enough, instead of being predictable and saying, “That place looked like a palace compared to (insert name here)’s home,” instead I shall say this:
    William’s home wasn’t the place that you would want to live in for the whole of your life, but it was cosy, with hot water, a slightly musty feel to it, but it was OK to live in.

    “And this,” said William as he entered a room with lots of unpacked boxes, but with a television, computer, and a pair of tinted glass sliding doors, “is where I spend most of my free time.”

    Andrew looked at it curiously, still in his state of depression, and commented, “Fairly nice place you have. Been in here for long?”

    “Oh no, just two years.”

    “Right…well, you might want to look into having a pet, a fish or something. It gives you inspiration, gives you something to think about…Anyway, you were earlier talking about a cure to my depression?”

    Will was in a daze, before snapping back to reality and saying, “Oh yes! Just take a seat.”

    As they both got settled down, William asked, “Not everyone can be depressed for all of their time, right? Something has to happen, I think. So in that case, when did you become the master of depressed-ness?

    “15,” grumbled Andrew.

    “I think I saw on the TV in the Sinnoh finals called…Andrew Gramm…”

    “Yes, that was me. Came close to defeating the former champion, Lucian, as well. That Brongzong of his is on steroids.”

    “Ok, anyway, what happened when you were 15?”

    “My father died.”

    William could see that he couldn’t make a further breakthrough by asking the right question: “That isn’t the whole story, is it?”

    William had struck gold with that question, but unfortunately it was behind 15 layers of steel, some bedrock, lava, automatic machine guns as well as an army of Aggron.

    Andrew was startled by the attack, but recovered, “I don’t want to talk about it. Really. I don’t.”

    Will realised that he wasn’t going to go further, so he said enthusiastically, “I think the cure can be found in a distraction. You should see this.”

    And with that, William rose to his feet, before pulling back the tinted doors, opening Andrew’s eyes in awe.

    The doors revealed an army of cheap action movies, each bathing in a tub of their own clichéness, with cheap special effects as soap and used plots as a back scratcher.

    Will pulled out 2 DVDs from their holders, before asking Andrew, “Yellow Peril or I AM LEGENDARY POKÉMON?”

    Andrew was bewildered when he replied, “Which one do you think I would enjoy?”

    “No, I was talking about which one you want to watch first?”


    Thank you for reading!

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Alright time for Chapter 11!


    The next day, The Kakuna Hotel

    Andrew woke up, and immediately regretted it. A splitting headache attacked him with the equivalent of a chain gun against a rabbit with a broken leg. The hangover was vicious, taking no brain cells prisoner.

    Various memories floated to surface of his brain. As far as he could recall, they had watched two movies, before going out to the pub and getting drunk, before having a good (but sensible) time.

    That night, a small portion of his brain had been unlocked in his subconscious, which was oddly barred with steel girders, multiple locks, guarded by a Tyranitar with an energy sword, and finally, a sea of lava. Not to mention the shield. And the machine guns. As well as a Buneary. With a rocket launcher.

    This was nothing compared to some people’s mind paranoia. For some, you would be lucky to get away with a couple of armies, several Virtual Arceus’ and escape without an arrow to the knee.

    Oh yes, back to the story. Anyway, Andrew struggled up, having unlocked the ability to have fun. Well, part of it. Most of the talents were still locked up nice and tight, but Andrew had a basis to start on.

    Andrew managed to get dressed, before getting down and reading a newspaper. Well, he looked at the main headline for some time, anyway. But this was not because of last night, but instead the contents of it.

    This is what was shown:

    The outside of Cerulean Cave, Cerulean City

    A large, bi-pedal creature, whose colour choice was made by typical 7 year old girls, stretched its back before walking out into the sunlight, drinking a cup of coffee.

    Outside, it passed a catlike, pink creature that was lying on the sand, having had a bad night.

    “Morning Mew.”

    “Morning Mewtwo.”

    “Bad night?”

    “Yes. What about you?”


    Mew looked up at Mewtwo, who had a glazed look on his eyes, before sighing, “You are going to try to conquer the world again? Seriously, I can just Transform into any non-Legendary Dark or Steel type and annihilate you, y’know that?”

    Mewtwo looked at Mew with a sharp gaze, before replying sternly, “One can have dreams, can’t they? Anyway, I just want to relax. I have a hangover and can’t face it.”

    “Same here, bro – I mean fellow member of the intermediate gender.”

    Mewtwo froze suddenly, having seen something Mew had seen at exactly the same time.

    “Are you having the same dream as I am?”

    “No, but I am having the same nightmare as you.”

    The Rocket gunship army sped over the waves, creating a ripple on the surface. The chrome of their hulls blinded Mewtwo with reflected sunlight, rendering him incapable of retaliating. Heavy weaponry could be seen. On a rope ladder, the tuxedoed Giovanni leaned out of a helicopter door holding a smaller version of a very familiar machine.

    “Come on Mew,” Mewtwo struggled, “We can do…this…together…Mew? Mew?”

    It was then Mewtwo turned around, just in time for it to see a pink thing rapidly fly away, screaming, “BYE!”

    Angered beyond belief, Mewtwo faced towards the army, starting to say, “Do your worst,” but after the word, “your,” a purple energy beam streaked from Giovanni’s gun-machine-thing, striking Mewtwo full on. This enveloped it with a strange purple glow, which it was just about to point out when Giovanni threw a Master Ball.

    This invariably caught Mewtwo easily.

    The Kakuna Hotel, again

    The happy portion that had been unlocked previously shut itself down again, barred up, added a few armies, created several Death Stars to protect it, not to mention the left handed monkey screwdriver, possibly the weirdest piece of equipment ever.

    As you can tell, this angered (well, depressed) Andrew.

    As Andrew entered the Police Department in full uniform, Doris Thatcher called to him, “Sergeant Gramm, there’s somebody who wants to see you. About the ‘Legendary Situation’ as she calls it.”

    Andrew noted this in his mind, before entering his room and finding someone he had battled against all those years ago.

    “Hello,” said Cynthia meekly, “Remember me?”

    Andrew looked quite surprised at this, but sat down in a convenient chair that was there a split second before he was about to sit down, so he managed to regain his balance, lose it, regain it, get support on the left-handed monkey screwdriver, and finally be in a stable condition.

    No-one was able to explain the disappearance of the chair, but the closest theory to the truth involved Murphy’s Law, so we’ll leave it at that. Anyway, back to the story (I am really good at getting lost in thought, aren’t I?).

    Cynthia watched this with some amusement, before saying, “Before I became champion, I remember you facing me in battle, ending with me losing. But that is not why I came.”

    Andrew replied, “Why did you then? To explain about the Shadow Vortex?”


    Cliffhanger time! What is the Shadow Vortex? How does Andrew know about it? Why am I asking so many questions? For answers, join us next time!

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    The very anti-climatic reason for the cliffhanger is going to be revealed right after you read this sentence which I am writing just to make you irritated that you arn't reading the story but so ingrossed in my text you are reading it...and...we're done.


    Exactly where we left off, Azalea Town’s Police Department

    Andrew replied, “Why did you then? To explain about the Shadow Vortex?”

    Cynthia, funnily enough, did not look surprised at the fact that he had spotted this, and responded thusly: “Well done on passing the test. I knew that if you were good enough, you would spot that. But now to business.”

    As of the last sentence, she pulled out some pieces of paper, as well as several photographs of some various pictographs on cave walls.

    As soon as they both sat down, Cynthia explained, “I knew you were bright. I found you whilst looking through some old records down at Snowpoint Police Department. Tracking you from there was comparatively easy.”

    Andrew replied , “Can we get down to business, please?”

    “Ah, yes. Now, while searching some old ruins in Celestic Town showing this,” at this, Cynthia showed him a photograph of some eldritch Pokémon with some symbols around them, all circling what looked like a barren island with a mechanical device in the middle.

    She continued, “This is what we have found to be called ‘The Shadow Vortex’, a place with unimaginable power. From what we can see, this island, known as Halotana Malica, was imbued with the core of all Shadow. This is basically the dark side in our heads, the malicious thing that thinks thoughts like ‘How hard can it be?’, as well as our fatal sense of curiosity. Most importantly, all Shadow Pokémon are somehow created by this power, usually through the influence of several machines around the globe, and humans have found some of them for nefarious uses. From what we can tell, an ancient civilisation knew of this power, and they were deathly afraid of it. So were all of the Legendary Pokémon. However, they realised that such a deadly force might be needed to wipe out an invading enemy from a different universe. Therefore, they coaxed it into an impenetrable machine, creating barriers that could only be passed by Legendary Pokémon. They made a lock only Mew or, because it was a clone of Mew, Mewtwo’s power could unlock, a mental block that only the Lake Trio could open, before sinking it so that the combined power of Kyogre, Groudon, and Rayquaza could raise it. There is also a huge thunderstorm that can only be dispersed by the Bird Trio. Oh yes, and when that was done, Arceus had to undo the inner workings of the machine to get it started. This could be considered overkill.”

    During the Great Wall of Text/China, Cynthia was pointing at the various figures surrounding the machine.

    Andrew looked concerned at this, before asking, “Well, where is it? Can we stop them getting there?”

    “We have no idea. At all. The best course of action is to see where it is risen, and then to go there.”

    Cynthia continued, “However, there is a defence mechanism against it. Arceus granted an inter-dimensional power that could easily lock away the Shadow Vortex to Giratina, Dialga, and Palkia. Unfortunately, there is a snag. You need all three of them together, you need to place the three orbs – the Griseous, the Lustrous, and the Adamant orbs – into the respective slots in the machine that contains the vortex, and they actually have to be near the machine.”

    Andrew asked this question next, “Well, where are the orbs, and how do we get them?”

    “Well, I think Lucas used to have them. But as far as I know, they were stolen in the middle of the night by a mysterious thief. All that was left was a-”

    “Blue hair.”

    Cynthia looked surprised at this, and explained thusly, “How did you know that? Only 3 people, excluding you, and the thief knew that happened.”

    Andrew kept his poker face, and replied, “I work out stuff. I also know that three mysterious people known only as the Shadow Triad gave the three orbs to Bianca. I know who they are, not revealing them to our audience right now,” as Andrew turned to leave, at the doorway he continued, “Finally, I know one of them, right outside this window, is commanding his Simisear to use Flamethrower. Just a hint to duck.”

    He left.

    But at the second Cynthia rolled towards the wall closest to the window, a stream of flame burst through the window, pretty much annihilating everything in the room. Priceless ornaments and knick-knacks, for no apparent reason apart from me being the author, blew up spectacularly.

    However, the funny thing is, after Cynthia escaped unsigned from this, whilst breathing a sigh of relief the gods of luck decided to screw her over, making her spontaneously combust.

    As soon as Andrew left the room, he ran out of the entrance, sending out Arlmaldo as he dashed onto the cobblestones, where a hooded person dressed in all black was waiting, the Simisear by its side.

    “Well, well, “ started the mysterious person, “What do we have –“

    “Are you Chili?” interrupted Andrew, and by the look on the attackers face, he had hit the jackpot.

    The assailant replied nervously, “Umm…well…I…Simisear! Create a distraction!”

    At the exact same time as he shouted that, the Simisear launched a blue-hot flame, and Andrew’s Armaldo fired off a rather unexpected Water Pulse. This took the Simisear completely by surprise, allowing itself to be hit, and thus faint.

    However, during this short amount of time, the attacker had released a Hypno, which lead to Harry, who had his head stuck out of a window, shouting this comment: “Hey! It’s the ped-“

    At this time, Larry nudged him viciously in the ribs and hissed, “PG-13, remember?”

    Unfortunately, the attacker had gone an odd shade of red, before applying an Action Replay to his Hypno, and using it to Teleport away. A red hair dropped to the floor

    “Permission to start to swear at the end of the chapter, Sergeant?” asked Will from out of another window, realising that by the look on Andrew’s face, he was about to be very angry and by using official ranking, he might not die.

    “Permission granted, Constable,” replied Andrew, looking very, very cross.


    “That is enough, Constable.”

    “Yes, Sergeant.”


    This isn't good... Join us next time for fanfic goodness/badness, depending if you like this piece of fiction or just view it weekly to laugh at my writing style. Anyway, come back in a week!

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    The next chapter shall be


    Azalea Police Department, Azalea Town

    Andrew stared glumly into nothingness, mulling over the event of the past couple of hours. They had almost caught a perpetrator. Almost. He had been shunted back at the last moment by an Action Replay, and could’ve found out additional information. Instead, they had nothing.

    Actually, that was an understatement, as they did have a fair amount of information, and they knew, by the ways things were going, what the villains of this piece were going to do next and how to prevent it.

    At this point, Cynthia walked in quite cautiously, knowing that something was going to break, and said in a manner calm anyone down, “It’s alright. We already know what’s going to happen. Look, watching TV can either solve problems, or make them worse, and it’s hard to get worse than this, right?”

    With a grunt from Andrew, Cynthia turned on a television I made for the sole purpose of being turned on. The screen showed a picture, captioned with ‘BREAKING NEWS! RAQUAZA, KYOGRE AND GROUDON HAVE BEEN CAPTURED!’.

    Andrew threw himself out of a window.

    On the second floor.

    However, thanks to this being Pokéarth, he didn’t even fracture.

    The reporter on the TV screen continued, “I am live at the scene where these three Pokémon, that have eluded capture for millennia, have been caught by some mysterious organisations. Here are some eye-witness accounts…”

    Sootopolis City, Hoenn

    The calm waters surrounding Sootopolis’ Gym were peaceful. The lake reflected light in a way that, when it was hot enough, burn down the island entirely. Being in a tropical region, this happened once a fortnight. However, the citizens had adapted to this by a) flooding the area b) flooding the entire city, or c) try to ignore it. Funnily enough, option C made the fire so embarrassed that it actually stopped burning and tried to be a bit meek.

    Anyway, around midday, three helicopters, presumably owned by people that thought that chrome would never go out of style, unstylishly hovered where everybody could see them. This being a hot, sunny day, multiple fires started due to reflection and quite a few people were blinded by the reflected light.

    The first person stuck in the Star-Trek like helicopters was a pirate, dressed in blue, who had a red orb and a strange looking gun. The second was a man dressed in dark red, with a blue orb, a similar gun, and a retarded voice. However, the third was a woman, dressed in a green outfit but with no gun, no orb, but she had a similar look to the sixth gym leader in Hoenn. They are, in order, Archie of Team Aqua, Maxie of Team Magma, and-

    “Winona,” said the third of the trio.

    I was going to say that!

    “Meh. I don’t care really. I’m just breaking the fourth wall.”

    But that will mean Rayquaza will – oh…very clever…

    After that bout of fourth wall breaking, the giant green dragon, with light flashing across the scales that caused for combustion and death, swooped down the heavens, preparing to raze the city to the ground, when predictably by this point, the two others immobilised with the purple light created guns, allowing Winona to capture it with a Master Ball.

    The other two held out the two orbs, which floated up in the air majestically, criss-crossing the sky with blue and red light, summoning forth with a predictable dread portal two glorious beasts. These created a burst of sunlight, and a huge downpour, turning the halves of the city into a nuclear furnace and a swamp respectively. The first had huge, glowing red armour, with a sharp look in the behemoth’s eyes. The second – wait, you already captured them?


    OK then, screw my chance at narrating properly if you do that! Let me finish narrating before you do stuff, jeez…

    Err, anyway, what happened there was that Maxie caught the Groudon, and Archie caught the Kyogre in the same way Winona captured Rayquaza.

    However, the two Pokémon’s weather abilities had taken their toll. The bursting sunlight was actually melting one half of the city, while the other half was being drowned.

    As the three helicopters left, the island sunk into the sea, before exploding majestically due the intense mix of fire, water, clay, and the laws of Hollywood.

    Back in Snowpoint City Police Department, Sinnoh

    The Inspector looked around at his clean desk. The explosion a few days ago had really done some damage, but this time nothing could go wrong. He was personally assured by the builders that the building was infallible.

    Somehow, he doubted this.

    Sure another, a moment later a huge shockwave from the direction of Hoenn smashed into the city. Sound was a deadly force, felling some buildings and grinded the people inside to a halt. Windows smashed, pavements cracked, and the natural balance of the world was distorted.

    This isn’t the last time that’ll happen.

    Azalea Police Department, Azalea Town

    After Andrew had been rescued, Cynthia told him this, “I have the best man on the job. Trust me.”

    “Is it OK if I don’t?”


    Thank you for reading! Now please review or rate. Seriously. Please.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Sorry for being a bit late with this chapter, I had a few diffuclties. But this fanfiction had now reached 50 A4 pages!

    Well, it isn't really an achievment, so on with the story.


    A little while back, Castelia City, Unova

    Castelia City looks like New York. A bit. Possibly. All right, it might as well be a carbon copy, be called New York, and have a statue on an island were it not for the fact of the Pokémon Centre.

    The game designers were really lazy for that portion of the game.

    Even so, it was still a very good place to be in. The locals were friendly-ish, and they had an ice-cream store which made their products from the dead corpses of Vanillite.

    Now I come to think of it, Unova is really messed up. Some of them include Pokémon that are dead humans with masks on, as well as Pokémon that steal your soul or obliterate it. If that is not creepy, I don’t know what is. Just saying.

    Anyway, as it happens, a young woman by the name of Bianca was walking down a street by the pier of the harbour. Only about a month ago, she had been randomly given three objects: one blue, one pink, and one yellow. She had no idea what these were, what they could be used for, and why Dialga, Palkia and Giritina appeared for no apparent reason by her side.

    Just then, a man with smooth black hair, a severe look, and a trench coat that was not orange (reference to past fan fictions rule!) was completely failing to look inconspicuous by hiding along lampposts, scurrying at inhuman speeds, and just being a bit odd.

    Out of the blue, the weird person dashed over to Bianca and said, “International Police, comprised of myself, two Magikarp and some person called Billybob Joe, have been ordered to take three precious objects off of you.”

    Before Bianca could reply, he ran round to her invisible backpack that could and probably does have enough space for multiple universes, and grabbed the three objects mentioned earlier, before running off. Bianca looked surprised at the swiftness of these events, before shrugging her shoulders and moving on.

    Azalea Police Department, Azalea Town

    “You sent Looker for them.”


    “Just a question. How many drugs were you on when you made that decision?”

    Right now, Cynthia and Andrew were having a heated debate about whether it was wise or not to have sent Looker after the orbs.

    Cynthia replied, “You probably wouldn’t want to know.”

    As Andrew looked bemused, the same weird guy ran into the building, rolled behind a potted plant, shot Matthew Matthewson in the shoulder with a pistol for looking at him strangely, jumped over the coffee table and said this to Cynthia, “Here you are, madam. Don’t you forget, when you need help, only search for Looker.”

    Only then did he see the…well…’badass’ look on Andrew’s face.

    “It has been a long time,” rumbled Andrew epically.

    Looker swung his head around to face Andrew and replied, “I remember last time. You won’t get the better of me this time.”

    “Really now. Let us settle this dispute in the only way we know how…”

    Alright, back-story time. The Pokémon Police Agency and the International Police have always had a rivalry. Two super powerful agencies…a conflict was bound to ensue. About 40 years ago, a war erupted between these organisations over some issue that was, on both sides, used as an excuse for conflict. Millions of lives were lost over a period of ten years, destroying cities, razing forests, and causing (for some odd reason) broccoli, the bane of a lot of citizens, to drop out of the sky. It was only stopped because both side forgot what they were fighting for and decided to give it up, and the fact that the International Police was about to be crushed. Since then, the International Police has never recovered. After that, there was an unofficial friendship from both sides.

    Even so, Andrew and Looker despised each other from the moment they set eyes on one another, battling for supremacy in their eternal competition.

    Anyway, both people walked out into a convenient (and thankfully empty) park and immediately sent out all of their Pokémon. You all know what Andrew’s are (A/N: If not, go to Chapter 0), but Looker’s were: Mightyena, Crobat, Ninetails, Dusknoir, Shuckle, and Pidgeot.

    The type of battle they were engaged in was known commonly as ‘Warfare’. This is a fairly simple method of fighting, the way of doing it being a 6-on-6 melee. The best players never need to select attacks for their Pokémon, trusting in them to do the job.

    Andrew and Looker were experts at this, so it is quite easy to see that a full-on war was going to commence.

    It did.

    Looker’s Mightyena lunged for Arlmaldo as it was firing off a Water Pulse at Ninetales, whilst it was jumping for Arcanine, which dodged and rolled, then struck back with Extremespeed. Meanwhile, the other eight were attacking each other viciously, showing off their powers in spectacular fashion.

    To cut a very long story short, Ninetails had just knocked out Ampharos with a startling Fire Blast, leaving only the aforementioned Ninetails and Arcanine on the field. Without a word from the trainers, both started gathering heat in their mouths, preparing for a very big finish. The raw energy crackled in the air, warping the very atmosphere of the now-ruined park.

    The Fire Blasts collided.

    Snowpoint City Police Department, Sinnoh

    The Inspector was quite cross at this point, having lost multiple possessions in the past two explosions, including his mother’s ashes. By Arceus, he was going to-

    Wait, what was that shockwave – OH, YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING M-

    The park, Azalea Town

    “Your Ninetails fell first!”

    “No, it didn’t!”



    As you could tell, Andrew and Looker were having quite a large argument about which Pokémon fainted first in the explosion, 2 hours later. People were starting to place bets on when they would stop.


    If you read this, thank you for doing so, and please comment. Please.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Another chapter, filled with more bad news for our protagonists.


    Azalea Police Department (AGAIN), Azalea Town

    Cynthia and Looker had left, on separate missions. Cynthia had went to warn politicians of the world and to gather their armies, having influence as a former champion. Looker had gone to protect the Lake Guardians, the last three beings that were needed to power the machine.

    Meanwhile, Andrew was telling anyone who was bothered to listen about how he realised this whole ‘Shadow Triad’ thing out.

    Basically, his first suspicions had occurred a while before, at N’s Castle in Unova. The reports of every gym leader except Cilian, Chili, and Cress being there was a bit suspicious. Then, a while later, the assault way back in Chapter 5, with the green hair, made Andrew very curious about the matter. Finally, when the blue hair story was told, and a third person attacked them with a Simisear, it all made sense.

    Anyway, later that night, Andrew had decided to try the ‘having fun’ thing again with William. However, as he was turning on the TV to watch another action movie, a news report popped up.

    Obviously, it was about the Lake Trio. Why wouldn’t it be?

    Mt Coronet, Sinnoh

    Mt Coronet is an awe-inspiring sight. A colossal, mile high rock, made from the first elements created in the universe, could be seen nearly everywhere in the regions. Sometimes, people couldn’t see it because it was in the way.

    The mountain had a curious feel to it, being made from nothing, so it has an…odd feel to it. It was a place where the dimensions were weakest, bending laws of physics. Sometimes, if you dropped something, it fell upwards. Occasionally, cheese (and only cheese) turns into a left-handed monkey screwdriver, which proceeds to spontaneously combust, grow in size, and then crumble out of existence.

    On top of this mountain is a set of ruins, formed hundreds of thousands of years ago. They are of unknown origin, but they were most likely created by ancient Pokémon. It seems they were formed as a meeting place for Legendary Pokémon, but parts of the temple crumbled. The Hall of Origin was a higher chamber, reserved for only the most powerful deities.

    Recently, these ruins have been a hive of activity, mainly from adventurous tourists, archaeologists, and people who dislike their cheese (honestly, you have no idea how many people do this).

    A couple of years ago, a dimensional crisis was formed, bringing the Lake Trio to the mountain to try and stop it (see Pokémon Platinum for the full details). It is now a tradition that they fly over the mountain and say hello to Giratina, before creating a massive light show.

    On that fateful night, Looker was hiding behind a pillar, trying to spot any miscreants.

    Without warning, three people quietly went onto a plinth, staring at the beautiful night sky. They were all in identical uniforms, having a strange device each, and they all had hairstyles which made them hard to find out their gender.

    If you hadn’t worked it out already, they were Saturn, Mars, and Jupiter.

    Mars said these words to Looker: “You know the phrase: ‘Words have power’?”

    Looker nodded, even though that didn’t really apply to him, him not reading a book that didn’t involve him being heroic (you would be surprised at how many there were).

    Jupiter continued, “Well, the new invention that Team Galactic has…invented…can actually make that happen. Meet the Portal Core!”

    Apart from the obvious rip-off from the Portal games, the Portal Core is a special object. It doesn’t actually create holes that interconnect in time and space, they are actually holes that go into different universes, but in the same timeframe in your universe (it is actually more complicated that this, but 1) you would not want to be bored by my lengthy explanation, and 2) I can’t be bothered). Due to its unstable inter-dimensional state, it can, under certain circumstances, make things in this universe possible that would otherwise be hard or impossible. In this case, it was programmed into a universe where words have power.

    With this, Saturn turned on a small, lighter-like machine, held it to his mouth and whispered, “Fus ro dah.”

    The speed Looker was pushed off the mountain was amazing.

    With Bethesda-esque gravity, he majestically soared into the air at about roughly half the speed of light. Unfortunately, he hit Uxie (aka a magical yellow pixie), causing, for reasons unknown, an explosion. This crippled Uxie, Mesprit (who had been unlucky enough to be next to it), and Azelf (who had actually been hit with a cheese/left handed monkey screwdriver explosion).

    This being Pokéarth, Looker actually survived the fall. Unfortunately, he did this by landing on an elderly gentleman, who was killed.

    With this, the three commanders used their devices, captured the Legendary Pokémon, yada yada yada, I don’t need to tell you the rest.

    Will’s House, Azalea Town

    Andrew, uncharacteristically, wasn’t very happy at this. Well, that was putting it lightly.

    Here is the censored version of his actual rant: (A/N: I didn’t actually put swear words in, and let the swear blocker do it’s job.)

    “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE ******* KIDDING ME! THE **** HAPPENED! **** LOOKER! HE SHOULD BE **** ************** ******* ***** IN DYNAMITE ************* WITH MICKEY MOUSE ************* THE UNIVERSAL – did I put Mickey Mouse in – I did? Is Rayquaza coming? It is? YOU HAVE TO BE-“


    If you wanted to know, Andrew was out of the hospital and had fully recovered from the Hyper Beam in less than a week.


    Thank you for reading...unless you like skipping down to the bottom for some random reason. Please comment if you liked, disliked, wanted to express your anger, or for tips.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    Just before we begin, I, as the author, want to say something. I really enjoy doing this, granted, it is quite bad (and there is going to be a sequal, which will be better), but it would make me happy if you, the reader, could comment. It doesn't matter if it is positive or negative, if it highlights areas to improve. Again, I do this because I like to do fanfiction writing, but if you could say something, it would make me more committed to do better and longer chapters.

    Mini-speech over, this is slightly longer than usual. I hope you enjoy.


    The shores of Olivine City, Johto

    Being a policeman, Andrew was distrustful around soldiers. He did not like being next to lots of men, willing to die and to kill, who held lots of firepower that could go off at any moment. There were too many heroes who were ready to die. Andrew personally liked people who had good survival instincts. There wasn’t so much mess to clear up.

    This is why he was tetchy, standing near a couple of hundred of them by a beach, ready to lift off at any moment, with any news at all. Cynthia had invited them to the battle, and that idiot Inspector Staker had accepted. True, legal reasons were legal reasons, and Andrew wanted his hands on the various criminals. Even so, Sergeant Gramm preferred to live another day. The concept of someone deliberately attacking him, for the sole reason of him being on the other side, did not appeal to Andrew.

    Cynthia had promised she would be there, but Andrew couldn’t see her among the crowd.

    Then the call came. The die was cast.

    A random collection of islands, between Hoenn and Sinnoh

    I think now would be a good time to introduce the villain of this piece. For once, he was actually sensible. As a brown-haired male, our antagonist had piercing green eyes that could see through your body and into your soul, was around 5ft 8 inches, and was wearing a black suit.

    In front of him, an island was being raised from the depths. Seaweed cascaded off the colossus, revealing a barren land, with physical scars of purple/black energy.

    Groudon and Kyogre were stretching their power to its limits, with Rayquaza overseeing the processes. After an agonising 30 minutes, they were done.

    With that out of the way, a mini-cyclone was covering the centre of the island from view, and even Rayquaza seemed unable to dispel it. However, the three Legendary Birds came forth, and rained their powers upon the area. The cyclone subsided without any struggle. With this, our villain smirked cruelly, and ordered an advance forward.

    The same random collection of islands, between Johto and Orre, a few hours later

    Sergeant Andrew Gramm was taking shotgun. Well, he had to. Constable Will Staker had already chosen passenger.

    The two of them were in a stealthy, military adapted speedboat. Andrew was a fan of boats, mainly because other people weren’t, and hot pursuit was so much easier. Technically, Andrew considered this chase to be hot pursuit even though he was going to save…well, actually, he didn’t know what he was going to save. The thing is, what were the villains actually going to do with the Shadow Vortex?

    Anyway, you may have noticed that Andrew was in a speedboat, which usually don’t have machines that can be called for ‘shotgun’. However, you may have also seen the words ‘military adapted’. These words were mainly applied to the boat-mounted rocket launcher. A few hours before, when they were getting on the boast, Andrew had queried about why Will wasn’t going to use the rocket launcher. To this, Will replied that the person with the large weapon always got shot first.

    Funnily enough, this didn’t comfort Andrew.

    After a little while, the island came into view. It was a colossal circle-shaped area, with cliffs on all sides around 250 yards high. There was a small, jagged path leading up to the mile-wide peninsula. On it, a huge network of cracks leaked out dark energy, which was warping the physics of the place. In the centre was a machine. A terrible, terrible machine. It was shaped like a square-based pyramid, with the top part tapering off 10 yards into the air. The actual machine had markings on each side, representing The Sender of Eight, The Dark Lord, The Demented Elf, and, worst of all, a lemon. If you don’t get that reference, go watch more SpongeBob, and try to avoid the laser beams. If you did get the Terry Pratchett reference, I applaud you, and still dodge the laser beams. The machine was made up of a warped metal, being exposed to such lethal energy for thousands of years.

    However, some of the structures seemed to be newer. Such as the vicious turrets, mounted on the shore, operated by Team Aqua Grunts that fired rockets.

    Andrew, Will and the random person driving the boat looked at the missile launchers with awe, and were transfixed right up to the point where a helicopter gunship blew up right beside them.

    At this point, Will screamed, “Fire the rockets!”

    Andrew replied likewise with the words, “How?”

    William sighed, before yelling, “In the movies, you just have to press a trigger. Nothing more!”

    Andrew looked down at the control panel for the speedboat-mounted rocket launcher. If you wanted to know how many, buttons, gauges, or switches that didn’t look like a trigger, the answer would be none of them. Andrew stared, shrugged, and pressed the button which read, “This is an awesome button. PRESS IT.”

    Multiple, short, metallic missiles poured out of the device, going to the most dangerous targets first. That is, all of them. A lot of fiery explosions were formed that day, the turrets exploding with a majestic awe. Will was laughing heartily, before Andrew shut him up with a glare.

    With the defences gone, the ships, gunships, boats and a fighter jet swept towards the sole entrance. Well, they would have. The carrier ship said otherwise.

    The carrier ship was epic in size and scope. Cannons, fighter jets, helicopters and more were on this ship of awesomeness. Team Aqua’s colours were painted on the side. At the helm, a pirate with an Australian accent and his male, second-in-command were located, wearing odd uniforms.

    The pirate laughed, saying, “This will be the day that Archie of Team Aqua will have single-handedly defeated these enemies and will have saved this cause!”

    At this, his second-in-command said, “You know I said I would stop putting bombs in our boats?”

    Archie, looking slightly worried at this, replied, “Yes?”

    Unfortunately for him, it was Looker’s smile pointed at him as he stated, “I lied.”

    With this the imposter jumped off the boat at the same time as the explosion. The metal vaporised due the immense heat. The crimson fire was staggering, spreading far and wide. If I wanted to describe the explosion in more detail, I could go on for hours. Therefore, I am not going to.

    Constable Harold Parker (A/N: Yeah, you thought I forgot about him? You thought I would leave him out of the story so you say I had a useless character? TOO BAD. WALUIGI TIME) mumbled in his muffled voice, “That was the shortest naval battle and the shortest boss fight ever.”

    With a grimace, Andrew and co. headed off towards the island's shore.

    A bit later, Police Department, Snowpoint City

    The Inspector was a little testy from all the shockwaves that were passing through his city. Apart from his possessions being destroyed, the gag was being far too overused nowadays, and he did not like overused gags. They weren’t funny.

    Another shockwave was spotted on the horizon. The Inspector was tempted by suicide, but chose not too. Too many people committed suicide, and wasted police time by them investigating it in case it was a murder.

    As he battered down during the shockwave, the building supports, abused by the running gag, finally broke free. As the building collapsed in a mess of concrete, metal, and cheesecake, nobody died. Even by Pokémon standards, this was unusual.


    Thank you for reading. Now please, review, rate, tell your friends/enemies I exist, and comment. Please.

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