I can actually understand Malanu's point. It's possible to be opposed to someone's actions/lifestyle/beliefs/etc. and not be hateful about it. There are plenty of things people do that are, for the most part, socially acceptable but I don't necessarily agree with or would want for my life. That doesn't mean I demonize those people or say that they're in the wrong. In the U.S. at least, people have free speech and are allowed to exercise that right and that's fine. I think everyone would agree that hate speech of any kind is inappropriate and wrong. Disagreeing in a civil way is perfectly acceptable.
It is a little frustrating that disagreeing means that people have to fight for the right to marry. I personally feel that it never should have been up for debate in the first place considering straight people automatically had the right in the first place without having to deal with voting. And it certainly hasn't always been one man and one women forever considering polygamy was legal in the U.S. at one point. I don't see why gay marriage is such a heated issue.