The Pokemon Show
If you can’t say anything nice…Welcome to the club!
Episode 4: Defective Detective
It’s time to play the music,
It’s time to light the lights.
It’s time to meet the stars on the Pokemon Show tonight!
It’s time to put on makeup,
It’s time to dress up right.
It’s time to raise the curtains on the Pokemon Show tonight!
“Why do we always come here?”
“I guess we’ll never know.”
“It’s like some kind of torture,
To have to watch the show!”
It’s time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, Poketational,
This is what we call our Pokemon Show!
“Brilliant job, everyone,” Piplup applauded as the actors headed off to their respective rooms. “Poliwhirl, you’d better make sure next time that there’s no grenade in your trumpet.”
“Now, where are the guest stars?” Piplup called. “They need to report in for their act.”
“We’re right heeere!”
Piplup turned around to find a group of Water Pokemon hopping towards him. They all wore strange metal cubes on their backs, presumably to help them breathe. Leading the way was a Remoraid, flanked by a Magikarp and a Luvdisc. “Oh, hello. You’re the cast of Qwilfish Hooks?”
“Right you are!” Luvdisc beamed. “It’s television’s Number One new drama.”
“Luvdisc, it’s not a drama,” Magikarp pointed out. “It’s a comedy. And you can hardly even call it that.”
“Come now, bro, show some pride in your work!” Remoraid reprimanded. “I’m the star, Remoraid. This here is my brother Magikarp.”
Piplup frowned. “Wait, you’re brothers? But you’re different species of Pokemon.”
“Mom and Dad never explained it to us,” Remoraid admitted.
“It was a really weird honeymoon,” Magikarp added.
Luvdisc shook away her companions. “Anyway, these are our co-workers.” First she pointed to a Goldeen. “This is my friend Goldeen.”
“Girrrrl,” Goldeen said shortly.
“Girrrrl,” Luvdisc mimicked in response. The two laughed in high-pitched tones.
“WOMAN!” Primeape screeched, panting loudly as he hopped up and down before the fish Pokemon.
Piplup grabbed Primeape by the ear and quickly pulled him aside. “ Down, Primeape. Bad. Bad Primeape.”
With the residential maniacal drummer subdued, Piplup returned to his guests. “Okay, where were we?”
Luvdisc led Piplup over to a Kingdra. “This is Mr. Baldra. He plays the teacher.”
“Hello, Mr. Baldra,” Piplup greeted.
“I hate my life,” the Kingra muttered under his breath.
“What was that?”
“Oh, nothing. Pleased to meet you, son.”
Luvdisc pulled Piplup away. “Oh, don’t mind him. He’s just cranky. Always cranky.”
The image of Skuntank and Dusknoir popped into Piplup’s head. “Yeah, I know somebody like that.”
“We heard that!”
“We may be in dire need of hearing aids, but we’re not deaf yet!”
Piplup ignored the voices from the balcony. “Okay, who else do we have?”
Luvdisc continued on down the row of fish Pokemon. “This is Chinchou, here’s Shellos, this is Jocktillery-“
Luvdisc went on unphased. “Here’s Carvanha, that’s Feebas, there’s Finneon, and-“ She paused. “Where’s Clamperl?”
“Right here, girl!”
Clamperl suddenly dropped from the ceiling, landing directly in front of Magikarp. He screamed in terror, causing Remoraid to drag him away. Clamperl simply sat on the floor and laughed, her eyes were unfocused and rolled around in different directions. Piplup was grateful when Grovyle arrived and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Piplup, we’re ready to start up ,” he said. “Who’s first tonight?”
“Send out Croagunk,” Piplup decided. “It probably won’t go well, but the Chef hasn’t seen much action as of late.”
Grovyle nodded and headed down the stairs to the dressing rooms. “I’m on it.”
“Yorn desh born, der bornsk de dijk de deu! Orm bish der borm desh der heum. Gunk! Gunk! Gunk!” Croagunk appeared out of nowhere just as the Snorunt workers finished setting up the kitchen. “Un derdey meuch der haben de fischy choowder.” He held up a pot and sat it on the counter. “Forst, poot der fischy in der poot.” He produced Magikarp from somewhere beneath the counter and dropped him abruptly into the pot.
“Sir, what are you doing?” Magikarp yelped. “Let me out!”
“Schtay poot, fischy!” Croagunk ordered. “Schtay poot!” He held the pot under the sink and began to run water into it. Magikarp flopped up and down, desperately trying to escape. The Chef then set the pot on the stove. “Neksht, we boylie-boylie der water to maken de fischy choowder.”
Magikarp leaped into the air again as the water began to bubble. “Sir, you’re making a big mistake!”
“Schtay poot!” Croagunk demanded again. Magikarp had had enough, and with one final leap, he flipped out of the pot and slapped the Chef across the face with his tail. “Erf! Berd fischy!”
“Hey, did you order that dinner to go?” Skuntank called.
Croagunk looked up at him in bewilderment. “Ner. Why?”
“’Cause there it goes!” Dusknoir cried, pointing. Indeed, Magikarp was flailing his way towards the steps.
“Sir, I’m in the wrong place! Stay back!” Magikarp continued flopping across the stage. Croagunk pulled out a drawer and began rifling through his cache of belongings. Finally, he emerged with a shotgun, and, evidently satisfied with his choice, took off in pursuit of his escaping fischy choowder.
Piplup lowered the curtain without a word.
Piplup looked about at the crowd of Pokemon before him. “Alright, who dares to set foot on that stage next?”
Snorunt, Munchlax, and Chatot backed away instantly. Lucario, Poliwhirl, and Mew shuffled their feet in uncertainty. Finally, Chimchar stepped forward. “Alright, I’ll do it.”
“Not one more step, you villain!”
Everyone looked up in surprise at the sight of Skuntank and Dusknoir. “What are you two doing back here?” Piplup inquired.
“I thought you were glued to the seats up in that balcony,” Snorunt chortled, earning a few laughs from the others.
“We nearly were last time,” Skuntank growled, holding up a bottle of super glue. “You know anything about it?”
Snorunt blanched. “No, sir. Nothing, sir.”
Dusknoir stepped forward. “But that’s not what we’re here about. We’re here to bring this thief to justice.”
Snorunt smirked. “Two former criminals talking about bringing a thief to justice? I never thought I’d see the day.” A moment later, the jar of super glue was upended over his head, effectively sealing his lips.
“Are you talking about me?” Chimchar frowned. “I’m not a thief.”
“Oh really?” Skuntank scoffed. “Then explain this!” He held forward a rugged sack.
“Oh, that’s a nice empty bag you’ve got there,” Chimchar commented.
Skuntank loomed up over Chimchar. “It’s not supposed to be empty!”
“Yeah, it had our rotten Tamatos in it!” Dusknoir said. “We were going to throw them at you during your act!”
“How kind,” Chimchar spat. “But I didn’t steal them.”
Dusknoir shook his head. “That’s not what logic states. Only one person benefits from you not being pelted by berries. And that’s you.”
Chimchar began to speak, but stopped, realizing the logic in the words. “That’s all good and well, but I had no idea that you’d even brought the Tamatos. I couldn’t have stolen them.”
“You foolish ape,” Skuntank scowled. “You could’ve overheard easily at some point during the week. You have no way of proving that you were ignorant to our plan.”
“You have no way of proving that I did know about your plan!” Chimchar challenged.
Skuntank bared his teeth. “Sorry, but you’re guilty until proven innocent.”
“I’m not sure that’s how it goes,” Poliwhirl pointed out.
“Doesn’t matter,” Skuntank scoffed. “We hereby demand that the chimp be put on trial before jury.”
Piplup sighed, flushing the evening planned down the drain in his head. “Fine. Who will be the jury?”
“The audience shall suffice,” Dusknoir said. “They are a neutral group.”
“And they hate the chimp’s humor, which makes it all the better,” Skuntank added.
“Alright, you can have the audience, but the judge must be somebody just and decisive.” The entire group turned to face Chatot.
“I suppose it is my duty as a civilian,” Chatot nodded. “I shall be the noble judge.”
Dusknoir nodded in satisfaction. “Alright. We’ll meet you in the courtroom.”
“All we’ve got is the stage,” Piplup said.
“Fine, we’ll meet on the stage.”
With that, Skuntank and Dusknoir were gone, leaving the actors on their own backstage. Piplup surveyed the group. “Who here has a legal degree?” Three hands shot up: Grovyle, Corphish, and, to everyone’s surprise, Snorunt.
“Snorunt?” Poliwhirl frowned. “You’re a lawyer?”
Snorunt grinned. “I’ve got a whole secret life that you don’t know about.”
“Like the time you had to get all of the nickels pumped out of your stomach?”
Piplup turned to Grovyle. “You up for this case?” he inquired.
Grovyle nodded. “I believe so. Let us begin.”
At that moment, Magikarp flopped by, screaming. There was a chain of explosions as Croagunk dashed after him, flinging grenades in every direction. “Berd fischy! Berd fischy!”
A grenade landed directly at Grovyle’s feet. “Oh crap.“
Grovyle lay unconscious on the floor. Piplup simply stared at him, stunned. “Alright. Corphish, Snorunt, make us proud.”
“Si, I shall not disappoint,” Corphish assured.
“I might,” Snorunt admitted. “So don’t blame me if he ends up in the slammer.”
“Thanks for the encouragement,” Chimchar spat.
Piplup put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, Chimchar, we’ll get you out of this in no time.”
Chimchar looked up at Corphish and Snorunt, who smiled widely. Then he broke down into sobs.
Poliwhirl looked back and forth to make sure that no one was watching. Then, he slammed the door to his room and ducked into the shadows. Something was wrong with this, he knew. Chimchar was no thief. He donned his deerstalker hat and dug through his drawers until he finally found his pipe. He breathed deeply into and a cloud of bubbles billowed out of it. “The game is afoot,” he grinned. And then, he was off.
“Greetings, everybody! I’m Luvdisc!”
“And I’m Remoraid. And we’re you’re pre-trial entertainment!”
Remoraid and Luvdisc hopped up and down on the stage. They seem anxious to get to work. “We’ll be introducing you to our fellow freshwater friends and all of their incredible talents!” Luvdisc explained.
“First up is myself,” Remoraid beamed. “And my talent is…” He paused dramatically as he pulled out a long piece of glass piping. “To stick my head in this tube!” He immediately stuffed his head into the pipe, smiling all the way. He collapsed on his side, apparently growing top-heavy from the tube. He gave a thumbs-up to the crowd, while Luvdisc groaned.
“Next up is Jocktillery,” Luvdisc said. The Octillery crawled onto the stage. “His talent is to-“
“SMASH!” Jocktillery roared. “JOCKTILLERY IS MVP!” He abruptly smashed the pipe, causing Remoraid to fly through the air. Jocktillery then let loose with a jet of water straight up, which then cascaded down on top of him. “JOCKTILLERY IS WET FOREVER!”
“Next we have Shellos,” Luvdisc continued. “She can climb stuff with her slime. Ew.”
Slowly, sluggishly, Shellos crawled onto the stage.
An hour later, she’d almost made it halfway to center stage.
Poliwhirl kneeled down on the balcony floor. The hecklers were absent, preparing for the trial. He knew that this was a momentary chance to observe the scene of the crime. Finally, on the floor, he found the evidence he searched for. There was a half-eaten Tamato berry. The floor around it was wet and slick. “So, they were wearing a water suit,” he observed aloud. “The plot thickens.” He looked down onto the stage, where a Shellos had crept halfway up the curtain. One of the Water type guest stars had some part in this crime. It was just a matter of finding out whom.
“And last, but certainly not least,” Luvdisc introduced. “We have Clamperl the Teenage Clamperl!”
Clamperl sat motionless in the center of the stage. Each of her eyes stared in a different direction. Finally, she spoke. “I’m a Clamperl.” Then, she exploded in a burst of flames and disappeared. It was greeted with the sound of one hand clapping.
Skuntank and Dusknoir rushed onto the stage and forced the guest stars off of the stage. “Okay, that was all very impressive and whatnot, but we have a trial to get on with.”
In a matter of minutes, the stage was transformed into a courtroom. Chatot sat in the place of honor, the judge’s chair. He was flanked by Piplup. “This session of the Treasure Town Council will now being. Honorable Judge Chatot presiding.” Chatot tilted his beak in the air. “The last meeting took place…well, it doesn’t appear that we’ve had a meeting before. This is our first meeting, I guess.”
Chimchar sat chewing his nails with Corphish and Snorunt on either side of him. Skuntank and Dusknoir sat opposite them, smiling smugly. Dusknoir rose and opened his mouth to speak.
“OBJECTION!” Snorunt screamed. Everyone stared at him.
“Sit down, Snorunt,” Piplup sighed. “You can’t object when nothing has been said yet.”
“Oh,” Snorunt gulped, falling back in his seat.
Dusknoir nodded approvingly. “Now, then, let’s get started.”
“The charges will be read by Celebi,” Piplup continued.
“Thank you,” Celebi said. “Chimchar the defendant stands accused of-“
“Sit down, Snorunt!”
Chimchar glared at Snorunt. “Some Ace Attorney you are.”
Poliwhirl silently pulled open the door to the guest dressing room. Sure enough, there was water all over. Not only that, there were also some scattered Tamato berries, wallets, gold coins, and scarves. “So, it looks like our thief was in here. But it doesn’t help me narrow the herd much.” He heard a noise behind him and whirled around. Grovyle stood behind him. “Grovyle? What are you doing here? I thought you got put in intensive care by that grenade.”
“Just a ploy,” Grovyle admitted. “I knew I’d be more help in investigating than playing the lawyer, so I decided to play along when the explosion hit. Anyhow, I’m here to help.”
“Good, I need it. I’ve deduced that it is one of the guest stars.”
“I’ve done the same,” Grovyle nodded. He eyed Poliwhirl in amusement. “Seriously, what’s with your hat? And the pipe? It’s kind of 19th century. You should really modernize your approach.”
“Fine,” Poliwhirl said, tossing aside his hat and pipe.
Grovyle grinned, handing him a pair of Blackglasses. “So, shall we begin our investigation?”
“Yes,” Poliwhirl nodded. “Yes we…” He paused and put on the Blackglasses dramatically. “…Shall.”
“The defense calls Primeape to the stand!”
Chimchar looked at Snorunt in horror. “Primeape? Why are you calling up Primeape?”
“Kid, trust me, I know what I’m doing,” Snorunt assured. “I’m stalling for time. At some point, somebody’s going to run into the room with condemning evidence towards somebody else and you’re going to be saved. We just have to stall long enough for that to happen before you’re found guilty.”
Chimchar sighed. “You do realize this isn’t some TV show or video game, don’t you?” He paused, realizing what he’d just said. “Er, never mind.”
Primeape stood before Chatot, hopping up and down excitedly. “POLITICS! POLITICS!”
“Calm down, sir, please calm down!” Chatot urged. “We cannot continue with this trial unless you give us an intelligible answer.”
Primeape looked distraught. “Oh. Saw-ry.” He kept bouncing around, but more subdued in his action.
“Now, Mr. Primeape,” Piplup addressed. “Were you not in the company of Mr. Chimchar during the time when said crime was committed? Answer truthfully, as you are under oath.”
Chatot covered his face with his wing. “Will somebody get this lunatic out of my courtroom?” Sunflora and Chimecho hurried forward and escorted the ranting Primeape off of the stage. “Are there any other witnesses?”
“Si, si,” Corphish called. “The defense calls Munchlax to the stand.”
“You’re joking, right?” Chimchar hissed. “Munchlax can’t even talk!”
“Si, good point,” Corphish nodded. “Scratch that, hey hey? The defense calls Torchic to the stand.”
The sound of Chimchar’s hand striking his forehead was audible throughout the room.
Torchic strode forward to stand before Chatot. “Torchic chic.”
“Ah yes, please proceed, Miss Torchic,” Chatot urged.
“Chic,” Torchic nodded. “Chic chic chic chic, chic chic chic? Chic chic chic chic chic. Torchic chic. Chic chic chic, chic chic chic chic. Chic tor.”
“I must say, Miss Torchic, you make a persuasive case,” Chatot said. “Do you have more to add?”
Torchic nodded again. “Chic chic. Torchic torchic, chic chic chic. Torchic chic. Chic chic, chic chic chic chic.”
“Objection!” Dusknoir screamed. “She’s not even speaking! All she’s doing is saying ‘chic’ over and over!”
“That’s speaking, okay?” Corphish retaliated. “Everyone speaks in their own dialect!”
“What’s that a dialect of, then?” Skuntank challenged. “Fruitcake?”
Snorunt stepped forward. “Hey, there is no need for that kind of freakin’ language in a freakin’ courtroom during a freakin’ trial, you nitwit!”
“ORDER IN THE COURT!” Chatot roared.
“I’ll have a cheeseburger!” Wigglytuff screamed, laughing. The rest of the crowd chuckled with him.
Chatot sighed again. “Oh, the sheer humanity.”
“Don’t worry, Judge,” Dusknoir assured. “We’ll get this sorted out as fast as possible.”
“Not too fast, I hope,” Skuntank added. “This is kind of fun, watching these guys make idiots of themselves.”
“This is kind of fun, watching these guys make idiots of themselves,” Poliwhirl mused, peeking through the back curtain. “But I guess it won’t do to see Chimchar off to the iron-bar hotel.”
“No, it really wouldn’t,” Grovyle agreed. “We’d better hurry. I’m not sure how much longer that Snorunt and Corphish can stall for.”
Poliwhirl nodded. “Right. There has to be some remaining piece of incriminating evidence somewhere. We just have to know where.”
“Let’s use a little deductive reasoning,” Grovyle decided. “Out of the guest stars, who would have the most reason and ability to be stealing all of this stuff?”
Poliwhirl scratched his chin. “Well, Remoraid, Magikarp, Luvdisc, Goldeen, Finneon, Feebas, and Carvanha don’t have much ability to pick stuff up with, so I guess they’re ruled out. Chinchou could possibly pick stuff up, but he’d probably fry it with his electrical antennae. That leaves Jocktillery, Baldra, and Clamperl.”
“Okay,” Grovyle nodded. “That’s a nice short list. What motivation do they have?”
“Well, Jocktillery is just a brute. But he isn’t really organized enough to steal, he just beats people up.” Poliwhirl frowned. “I believe that Baldra seems to have the most motivation. He hates his job and those that he works with, and would likely search for any opportunity to get enough money to get a life in a comfy mansion somewhere else.”
Grovyle nodded again. “And the third one?”
“Clamperl?” Poliwhirl snickered. “She’s completely insane. Bonkers. Cuckoo.”
“Your point?” Grovyle inquired. “If she’s that insane, could she not be responsible?”
“Well, I suppose,” Poliwhirl admitted, adjusting his Blackglasses. “This shall require further investigation. Let’s split up and look for clues. Grovyle, you look into Balrda. I’ll check out Clamperl.”
“On it,” Grovyle agreed, darting off down the stairs. The chase was on.
The courtroom was in a particularly chaotic state of disarray when Chimecho suddenly poked her head onto the stage. “Snack break!” she jingled happily.
There was a mad stampede and a few of the shorter Pokemon found themselves trampled underfoot. The stage was emptied in a matter of seconds. Piplup smiled weakly and looked to the crowd. “Well, a break can’t hurt ‘em, can it? While you’re waiting, here’s Mew with a song.” He quickly ducked backstage as Mew appeared.
“Hit it, boys!” she snapped. The Pandemonium leapt into action immediately. Pikachu was on the keyboard while Combusken jammed on the bass. Bursts of sound blasted out of Loudred’s sax and Sunflora rocked on her guitar. Of course, above all the rest, Primeape beat his drums like a ‘mon possessed. After a few moments of humming, Mew burst into her song:
Well you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I’m a woman, no time to talk.
Music loud and Pok’mon warm,
I’ve been kicked around since I was born.
And now it’s alright, it’s O.K.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
The T-Town Times’ effect on ‘man.
Whether you’re a brother
Or whether you’re a mother,
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
She was cut off as an anvil suddenly fell from the ceiling, narrowly missing her and smashing through the stage. She looked around nervously, but continued on anyway.
Feel the city breakin’
And ev’rybody shakin’
And we’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
The words were cut off abruptly as a trap door opened beneath Mew, sucking her into the pit of blackness below.
“I guess she was having a hard time staying alive,” Skuntank commented, stepping back onto the stage. He glanced at Dusknoir. “The anvil and trapdoor were kind of ironic, weren’t they?”
Dusknoir did his best to hide the remote control he held behind his back. “Why yes, yes it was. Terrible shame, I really like that song.”
“You haunted the CombeeGees for seven years after they wrote the song.”
“I wanted them to know how much I liked it.”
“Order in the court!” Chatot bellowed, back in his place at the head of the courtroom.
“No thanks,” Wigglytuff grinned, padding his stomach. “I just had my cheeseburger.”
“Your Honor,” Absol stepped forward from the crowd. “The jury has reached a verdict.”
Skuntank tapped his foot impatiently. “Out with it, then!”
Absol nodded. “We find the defendant to be not guilty.” He paused. “But he is an idiot, outranked only in idiocy by his lawyers.” Snorunt and Corphish did their best to look deeply offended.
“What?” Skuntank gasped.
“That’s a terrible call!” Dusknoir growled.
“Will you two shut up?” Piplup growled. “This isn’t a baseball game, for heaven’s sake.”
Dusknoir huffed derisively. “You need some better contacts, blue. We want a review!”
“I hereby declare the defendant not guilty!” Chatot screeched, banging the gavel down. “Case dismissed!”
“Wait a sec,” Piplup frowned. “We know that Chimchar’s not the thief. But who is?”
“Allow me to answer that!”
Everyone looked up in surprise as Poliwhirl marched onto the stage. He had given up his Blackglasses and retrieved his deerstalker and pipe. He felt that it made him look much more sophisticated. “Poliwhirl?” Piplup gaped. “What did you find? Who is it?”
“Who indeed?” Poliwhirl smiled. “My first clue was in the balcony. There was water all over the floor. That’s how I knew that it was one of you!” He spun to face the gathered group of guest stars, who all gasped in surprise. “Fortunately, I was able to eliminate most of you due to lack of motive and/or lack of limbs.” The fish-like Pokemon all breathed out in a sigh of relief. “That left us with three potential culprits. The first was Jocktillery.”
“JOCKTILLERY IS NOT ILLEGAL!” Jocktillery screamed, waving his tentacles around furiously.
“Don’t worry,” Poliwhirl assured. “I know that you didn’t do it. Your thinking isn’t organized enough to have plotted this thievery.”
“YEAH!” Jocktillery whooped. “JOCKTILLERY IS INNOCENT!” He paused. “Hey, WAIT A MINUTE!”
Poliwhirl turned away before Jocktillery could finish the thought. “The next suspect was Mr. Baldra.”
“What?” Baldra gasped. “But, but I-“
“But we figured that he was innocent because of this.” Poliwhirl produced a rather damp piece of paper. “This is a medical record, which was thankfully retrieved for us by Dr. Lucario. This record shows that Mr. Baldra is allergic to Tamato berries, which were a primary item involved in the thefts. What the thief was unaware of was that these Tamato berries were rotten.”
Dusknoir beamed. “Ripe Tamatos don’t splat when they hit their target.”
Poliwhirl nodded. “What’s more, we found that some of these Tamatos were partly eaten. Whoever had eaten these would become violently ill.” He smiled. Grovyle emerged from backstage, dragging the culprit behind him. “And who did we find hurling in the bathroom?”
“Clamperl!” Luvdisc shrieked.
“I’m a teenage Clamperl,” Clamperl replied.
Luvdisc jumped forward. “Clamperl, why did you steal all of that stuff?”
“Why else?” Clamperl smiled psychotically. “I wanted to impress Magikarp.”
Magikarp screamed and flopped over backward.
“He’s such a rebel,” Clamperl explained. Remoraid stifled a giggle at the thought of anyone calling his mild-mannered brother a rebel. “I decided to rebel to gain his attention.”
“Aww!” the gathered females sighed.
“That’s so romantic!” Luvdisc sniffed. “Creepy, but romantic!”
Magikarp screamed again.
“Well, romance isn’t going to cut it here.” Sheriff Magnezone floated forward from the crowd, flanked by a pair of Magnemite officers. “Take her downtown, boys.”
“Go ahead, catch me if you can!” Clamperl cackled maniacally. “Love never dies!” With that, she spat a Pearl at one of the officers, knocking him out of the sky. Then she exploded again, leaving not a trace behind that she was ever there.
Chimchar stared at the spot where she’d been a moment before. “Wow. That was…interesting.”
“You’re telling me,” Piplup muttered.
“You know,” Poliwhirl said suddenly. “I had a bag of Tamato berries in my dressing room, but I forgot about them and they got rotten. One day, they just disappeared, but I didn’t remember until now.” He looked up at Skuntank and Dusknoir. “Know anything about it?”
Skuntank was flabbergasted. “Why, no, we know nothing of such a horrendous RUN FOR IT!” He and Dusknoir took off at a full sprint for the exit, with Magnezone and the Magnemite right behind them. The crowd cleared instantly, not wanting to be trampled in the mad dash.
“Another case solved!” Poliwhirl smiled, puffing out a cloud of bubbles from his pipe. “I should really go into the detective business. And that’s not even the final mystery I’ve solved this evening.”
Chimchar frowned. “Really?”
“Yep,” Poliwhirl nodded. “And I believe that Piplup is the one who’s got this one.”
Piplup couldn’t help but smile. “Poliwhirl, never let anyone tell you that you’re stupid.”
“I won’t!” Poliwhirl beamed, then frowned. “Hey!”
Snorunt looked back and forth between them. “Did I miss something here? What’s going on?”
“Elementary, my dear Snorunt,” Poliwhirl smirked.
“Tell them, Poliwhirl,” Piplup gestured.
“Of course,” Poliwhirl nodded. “This was all a plan by Piplup.”
“Yep,” Poliwhirl nodded again. “He hired the cast of Qwilfish Hooks with the intention of having Clamperl do the stealing and setting things up for the trial, with Chimchar as the prime suspect.”
Chimchar gaped at his friend. “You had me framed? But why?”
Piplup grinned sheepishly. “I figured that the only way to get the show to go right for a change was if I planned for it to go wrong. And I was right.” He paused. “Except for the part about Skuntank and Dusknoir getting chased off by Magnezone. That was actually unexpected.”
At that moment, the Magnemite reappeared, guiding Skuntank and Dusknoir between them. “Darn coppers,” Skuntank muttered.
“Sorry about that,” Poliwhirl said. “It just seemed fitting for you to get your just desserts.”
“Yeah yeah,” Dusknoir sighed. “Just finish the speech, why don’t you.”
“So you guys are jail-bound, eh? Too bad you’ll have to miss our show from now on. It’ll be weird not having you guys around to heckle me,” Chimchar smiled. “It’ll be so much better,” he added under his breath.
Skuntank sniffed. “I wish it would be that way. But as part of our community service…” He sniffed again.
“What?” Chimchar inquired. “Spearing trash and working at shelters can’t be that hard, can it?”
“I only wish!” Dusknoir sighed. “As part of our community service, we’ve got to come here every week!”
Chimchar, Skuntank, and Dusknoir simultaneously burst into tears.
BEHIND THE SCENES: CSI: TREASURE TOWN
Starring Poliwhirl as Lt. Shades;
Piplup as Det. Beaky;
Snorunt as Det. Frosty;
Wigglytuff as Dr. Yoom-Tah;
Celebi as Dr. Pixie;
Skuntank as Anonymous Bad Guy #1;
Dusknoir as Anonymous Bad Guy #2;
Mew as Bad Guy Mastermind;
and Chimchar as Murder Victim
(Author's Note: Holy crap, this chapter is just as long as the one-shot that I submitted for the Perspective contest.)