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Thread: Pokemon: Land of Phobena

  1. #1
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    Default Pokemon: Land of Phobena

    An RPG becoming a fanfic. Enjoy. And if you wanna see what the characters look like click on search and search for Phobena. It'll be the second from the top.


    Chapter 1: The First 5

    Justin walked inside the airport. He looked around and noticed alot of people rushing around with little kids. He couldnt wait to go on the journey of a life time. He wanted so bad to pick up his new pokeball containing a pokemon. He didnt know which pokemon he got but he hoped it was strong and friendly. He kept walking until he found his destination. Outside the big window was a huge jet. There it is, Justin thought to himself, there is the jet Im supposed to go on. He ran to the lady and gave her his free ticket that came with the letter he had gotten yesterday. She let him pass and he walked through the hallway until he was inside the jet. There was one person on the jet. A man that looked to be in his 80's.

    "Hello son, you must be here for the journey to Phobena. Im Proff. Oak and these are pokemon" He said as he took out a box filled with at least twenty pokeballs. "You may pick one when all the other kids get here" he said to justin

    Kim rushed into the airport with her bag on her back. She saw a boy walk onto one of the planes she also had to get on. She ran over trying not to knock anyone over as she ran. As got onto the plane to see the boy she saw before and an old man. "I'm guessing you're the one going with us to...the...erm...place. I forgot sorry. I'm Kim." She said as she dropped her bag and a Tyrogue plushie fell out she grabbed it quickly. "Sorry i really like Tyrogue."

    Damien stepped inside the airport beside Justin. Damien smirked at the little kids running around. Damien was ready to go to Phobena reigon. He saw Prof. Oak with a box of balls. He hoped he would get a Dratini. Damien sat down in a chair and read a book titled "Webmaster" which was about a teen who gets a laptop that is linked to the universe. Damien read it for about 10 minutes and then went to the bathroom. He walked out after doing his business and got on the plane and saw Justin and Kim.

    "Hey." said Damien. "I'm Damien. May I ask who you are?"Isabella walked in with her bag over her shoulder and watched thede group of 3 kids chasing each other. She laughed and walked past them. Isabella got her ticket and walked on the train. SHe seen Prof. Oak so she walked over to where he was sitting and seen other kids by him.
    Nerviously I sat down next to boy an put my bag in my lap and started at the floor.
    Damien gets bored and decides to take a nap. He closes his eyes and takes a short snooze. Damien started to dream. The dream had several people in a room. The people then dissapeared one by one. Then a strange shadow laughed sinisterly.

    "Aaaah!" yelled Damien. "It was just a dream."

    Damien then decides to start reading his book again but he was kinda shaking strangely. Damien stopped at chapter 3 and looked around at Justin, Kim and Isabella. He smirked and thought to himself 'I can do some flirting with these girls. And maybe pal around with the boy.'

    Kim saw another girl walk in and sit down without a word. Shje walked up to talk to her. "Hi there. I'm Kim." She said holding her Tyrogue plushie in a hug shaped hold.

    Isabella yawns looks up to see a guy staring at her and the two ther people beside her and blush. She quickly turns her head and looks out the window hopeing he didn't see her blush.
    She looks back at her bag on her lap. It was light brown like an eevee and it was covered from the top to bottom and both sides with eevee stickers.

    "I can't believe I did that to my bag" She tode herself.

    Isabella realises that someone is talking to her so she looks up. Its a girl.

    "H..Hi...Nice to meet you, I'm Isabella but call me Bella" I said taking her hand and shaking it.

    "So you like Tyrogues" I asked her noticing her plushieMia was running in the airport hall. Her heart was beating so fast that she could fell it pumping.
    *At last, at last! I can go to my own Pokemon journey! Where is the jet?* - thought she.
    She was so excited to see anything around. So no surprise that she bumped into a man with a suitcase.
    - Hey! Watch there you're going! - shouted the man
    - Sorry! - shouted Mia! She didn't even stopped!
    Finally! She saw the jet and ran towards it. Mia stopped at stairs to catch her breath and gave a special ticket to the stewardess who was standing near the entrance to the jet.
    - Aw, you must be Mia! - said Proffessor Oak when Mia entered - Glad to see you! Take your place and relax.
    - Good mourning, Professor Oak! - said Mia, smiling. Then she saw Justin, Kim, Damien and Isabella - Oh, hi guys! I'm Mia Jones! Who are you?"

    Damien looked at Isabella looking outside. He started to blush looking at this girl. He turned away and looked at his book again. The book was getting serious as some people were getting seriously hurt. Damien got up and ordered some peanuts for the plane ride. Damien loves peanuts. Damien flipped some into his mouth.

    "Want some?" he asked the others. "And Mia my name is Damien."
    Hi Mia, I'm Isabella but Bella for short." she said.

    "UH..sure.." She said getting up, leaning across and puting her hand in the bag. She pulled it out said back and sat back down.

    Bella put one in her mouth and tunred back to kim

    "Nice to see you, guys! Yeah, thanks, Damien! I had a bad breackfast today" - smiled Mia and took some peanuts from Damien. *Wow, this guy is kinda cute! I like his style! Hey, what I'm thinking about? There are more important things to do!* - thought Mia, blushing a little...

    Justin watched as one by one they walked in. They all looked a bit nervous but hey, he was pretty sure he looked nervous to. Then the proff. stood up and said

    "Ok everyone, listen up. I dont want to wait for the others so Ill start handing out the pokeballs now. The others will get theirs when they get here" And with that he started to toss pokeball at everyone.

    Justin caught his and noticed it was light green. He toosed it in the air and then in a flash of light a munchlax appeared.

    "Munch, munch" It said. "That is a very well behaved munchlax and it is the baby of the famous May's munchlax" Proff. Oak said to justin. Justin bent down and hugged it. "Im going to name you Zuzu" He said.

    Damien ate another handful of peanuts. He smiled at all of the people at the airplane. Joy was one thing Damien hadn't really felt much of lately. It seems that Damien is starting to become friendlier to other people. Damien decidedto read in his book again and eat some more peanuts. Damien then got up and ordered a few more bags of peanuts and stffed them in his backpack. Damien then grabbed his pokeball and it had Dratini in it.

    "I'll name you Dra." said Damien smiling at his Dratini

    Isabella caught the pokeball thrown at her.

    "Uh...come on out.." She said pushing the center of it.

    In a yellow flash a Eevee appaered.

    "Aww, cute! I'm gonna name you Coco" Bella said laughing and picking her up.

    "Evv!" Coco said liking that name and she licked Bella's face.

    Damien raised an eyebrow at Mia as she looked at him. Damien then turned his head looking at his book with a small smirk. Damien decided that he's going to have fun with these kids. Damien got up and pulled a pokeblock out of his back pack and threw it at Dratini. Dratini caught it and ate it joyfully. Damien just smiled as Dra ate his pokeblock. Damien picked up Dra and petted him on his head.

    Mia caught her Pokeball. It had a nice design: red with orange and yellow flames. Mias heart started beating faster and faster.
    "All right... Here we go!" - and she tossed her Pokeball up. The orb opened and a beam of white energy from it revealed a... Torchic!
    "Torchic!" - cried it and immediately rushed to Mia. She picked him up and gave him a big hug. She felt the warm from it tiny body. Mias eyes were full of tears.
    "Professor Oak... thank you so much! I always dreamt about a Torchic... It's so kawaii..." - Mia could hardly speak.
    "Not at all" - smiled professor Oak - "By the way, it's a baby of the famous Harrison's Blaziken. This Torchic is male. Now he's all yours!"
    "Oh, wow!" - Mia's eyes went wide - "Harrison's Blaziken's son! Cool! I will call him Blaze. I'll promise I will train him to be better than his father!"
    "Torchic!" - said the happy Pokemon. Mia petted him on his head. Torchic seemed delighted

    Damien smiled again. Somehow Damien was happy for Mia. It was cool that Blaze was harrison's Blaziken's son. Damien then turned away because thiis girl couldn't get in the way of him becoming a pokemon master. Damien ate somemore peanuts and gave Dra some more pokeblocks. Dra was happy that he got pokeblocks. Damien smirked at his dragon pokemon. Damien got up and started walking around the jet wanderfully. Damien finally got bored and sat back down in his seat.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------

    That's all for today. Here's the people to thank for these characters.

    TheTurquoise Tauros (Porygon2lover)- Justin Conway
    crystal zephyr- Kim Tetsaya?
    Uysl- Damien Budokai
    foxkitty- Isabella Montez?
    Russian May- Mia Jones

    And as you see we've already hinted to loves.

    Justin-Isabella
    Damien-Mia

    So, keep reading. So far there are 20 chapters. But there will be more later.
    What is this I cant even

  2. #2
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    Wow!! My RPG is a fanfic now!! Cool! I like it. I hope Yami Ryu goes easy on it.......


  3. #3
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    Same here. GTG. Either May Maple or I will put in the next chappie.
    What is this I cant even

  4. #4
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    Omg an rp is now a fic! Omg! AND AMAZINGLY- the fic sucks as much as most of all of the RPers posts in said RP. Sorry but to be brutaly honest. It does. I feel all Uysl did was COPY AND PASTE posts, and then do minor edits to give it that fic like feel.

    http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=19 Go there Uysl, and unlike saying you get what someone's saying, actually read the damn thread, as you don't get what I said in my thread to help newbies like you. :/

    But since you claim this is a chapter, it is short, rushed and tacky. What description there is is FLYING OFF THE WALLS for the different styles the others wrote them in, instead of giving the characters more than a paragraph of intro, you only gave them a paragraph. Where is the description for them? ARE THEY BLOBS OF NOTHINGNESS?

    Oh and don't say 'Go click the RP sign up thread to view their description! ' do you see any other authors doing that?

    You know, maybe if you actually put some effort into your posts, anywhere Uysl, you might go places. But so far with this, you're just going down the drain :/

    [edit]
    I hope Yami Ryu goes easy on it.......
    If I go easy on you, how would you guys ever bloody improve :/

  5. #5
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    Im sorry Yami, maybe I shouldnt have been so entusastic about my RPG becoming a fanfic.


  6. #6
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    Sorry to say this, but I think Yami is right. It was rushed and it really did seem as you copy and pasted. Might I add you forgot two very important characters, me and Phoebe (Bandana). We may have not posted on the first page, but that does NOT mean we weren't even on the plane to get our Pokemon. I'd recommend looking at the Advice for Aspiring Authors, which I have already done, and then not copying and pasting, but looking at the page you're supposed to do and move on from there. Just base it off of the page. Do not copy what we have posted and just edit a little bit.
    Another thing is to not make your character/your character's crush/your character's best friend the main characters. There are seven of us in the RPG, and we should all be in there evenly.
    Also, I kinda noticed some bad grammar in there. Haven't you heard of Spell Check? Really, I mean did you even write this on MS Word? Or did you just post it right here without even bothering to put it on there?
    No, I am not trying to be rude. I'm just saying what I feel of it.
    And that would be about, from a scale of one to ten, three or four.
    Just let me write the next chapter, please.
    Now, I'm off to write the next chapter. And it might take me a couple of days, since I'm actually going to TRY.

    ~Bishie: Cubone~ Song: Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park~Game Character: Brendan~Show: The Whitest Kids U'Know~Banner/Sister: AngelLatias~

    . : K u r i s u .::. K e l i k e : .
    . R . I . P .

  7. #7
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    Sorry, Uysl, but it's really rushed and it really seems as it was copied and pasted. And you need a untroduction first, because nobody here except us knows about Phobena and all the stuff about it. I'm not trying to be rude, just an advise before writing a fanfic. I hope, you will improve.

  8. #8
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    On my next chapter (3) I'll do better. promise.
    What is this I cant even

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