By MJC CartoGuy
© 2004~2005 by MJC CartoGuy (Well, it's not really copyrighted, but you get the idea.)
It's a new and original comedy fan fiction featuring the talking Pippi from "POKETTO MONSUTAA", rated PG for some viloence and some "SHUT UP"-like insults, but there are no curse words in this story. Currently, this chapter has around 20 chapters, with no sign of ending. For those of you who have just begun to read this, do not be intimidated by the large quanity of chapters. Take your time when you read each chapter. They're not going anywhere.
Also, this title comes from the ever-popular mis-pronountiation of "Pokemon". If somebody else has already come up with this title, let me know. Unless I posted the first chapter of my series first, I'll change my story. Also, I'm going to use only the Japanese and original names of the characters, so I'm only going to say who everybody is about once in a while. Besides that, all the Pokemon talk. And one more thing. Since I don't know any of Pippi's attacks, I'm just gonna have to pick some from Clefairy's moveset.
One Final Note: I don't own Pokemon, 4Kids, Tv-Tokyo, Game Freak, yadah yadah yadah, you get my point, and I don't think anyone thought I owned any of that anyway. But still...
OH, AND DO NOT DUPLICATE THIS STORY WITHOUE PERMISSION. YOU CAN PRINT IT OUT IF YOU WANT, BUT YOU CAN'T SUBMIT IT TO ANOTHER SITE OR FORUM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
Okay! Now that all that's over with, here comes the story!!!
Chapter 1- "POKIMAN!"
Once upon a time, there was a little brown and beige bird Pokemon named Poppo (Pidgey) who was flying freely into the sky. It was a beautiful day, and it would have been more beautiful had it not been for what happened next.
An ice beam shot up into the sky, and it hit the Poppo dead on. "AAAUGH!" he shouted as he fell down to Earth. (Well, he was already on Planet Earth actually, but still...)
"EYAHAHAHAHAHAH!" said our protagonist, the little pink, talking creature named Pippi (Clefairy) who was nearby. "THAT WAS TOTALLY SUPER FUNNY!" Pippi was small, but rather fat for a normal Pippi. He had little light-brown ears coming out of his head.
"What?" asked the Poppo. "You mean you did this?"
"That's right, you fool," said Pippi, "with my Metronome attack, that is!"
"Metronome?!" yelled Poppo in astonishment. "Do you know how rare that is to use something like an Ice Beam with Metronome? You're lucky!"
"Why thank you," said Pippi, "but I still hate you."
"Anyway," said the Poppo, brushing himself off, "you better not do that again!"
"Oh, shut up!" yelled Pippi.
"You want a piece of me?" yelled Poppo. "Do ya?"
"Yeah, I do!"
"Well let's see you fight, fatso!"
"That," said the Pippi, "is where I draw the line! No mercy from me, buster! LET'S GO!"
>DING!< And here was Round 1 of the Pokemon battle. Poppo began with a gust attack while Pippi began to use a Metronome. Pippi started waving his fingers as the little tornado cause by the Poppo was headed towards him. Suddenly, BOOM! Pippi exploded! The Explosion wiped out the Poppo, and he ran away. Well, he tried to, but he just collapsed from that powerful attack. Meanwhile, Pippi had finally managed to pick himself up, though he was still blackened from his own Explosion attack. Apparently, the Metronome attack is so random, you never know which attack will be used, including a self-destructing attack!
"[SIGH.] What to do...What to do..." said Pippi, as he walked through the forest, bored beyond belief. "I've gotta find something to do or I'll explode... yet again."
So Pippi wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and...gee does this guy ever stop wandering? You see, he ran away from his trainer Red to find some funnier entertainment. Unfortunately, he didn't find the entertainment that he wanted, and so he was bored. Yes, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored...whoops, here I go again. So anyway, Pippi was walking through the forset when he saw...well he saw...well he saw...oh who am I kidding? I don't know what he saw! I guess he saw a...wait a minute, I know what he saw! Apparently he saw a comedian Pokemon who was at the beach area nearby. The comedian Pokemon wasn't on any stage, and he talked to his audience in a loud voice because he didn't feel like getting a microphone.
"... And what's with Koiking (Magikarp)?" said a big, blue turtle that was known as a Kamex (Blastoise), the comedian. His actual body was blue, but the giant shell that he was in was brown on the back side and beige on the front one. "Why in the world do they even exist in this world? Is it to make others feel superior? I've seen a better challenge from a Gyarados! Well duh, because they're not Koiking!"
The Pokemon crowd he was filled with laughter, and so they...laughed!
"Thank you, thank you," said the Kamex, bowing before his Pokemon audience. "You're too kind."
"Tell us another one!" yelled an orange mouse Pokemon known as Raichu.
"Okay I will," said the grinning Kamex. "What's with with those Digda (Diglett)? They're fast enough to pop up and down in the ground at the speed of light, yet they can't even have enough time to pass a written essay!"
"What do you mean?" said a passing Digda. Digda was a brown mole Pokemon, but all you could really see was its brown head because it always traveled in the ground. "Why doesn't somebody give me an essay so I can write it- in 10 seconds!"
"As a matter of fact, I have just the test," said Kamex, handing Digda a written test. "You have 10 seconds to write what it's like to be a Digda. Ready? Begin!"
So Digda began to think about what to write. It only took him about two seconds. Then he decided to write. Unfortunately, it wasn't until after the fifth second that he realized that he couldn't write because of the mere fact that he was basically a brown mole Pokemon that had no legs or hands!
"HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN THE WHOLE TIME, DIDN'T YOU?" yelled an angry Digda that glared at the Kamex.
The nervous Kamex began to sweat a little bit. "Well...I...uh..."
"YOU FOOL!" cried Digda in an earsplitting tone. "OF COURSE I CAN'T WRITE A STUPID PAPER WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO HOLD A PENCIL! WHY I OUTTA...I OUTTA...ACTUALLY I DON'T KNOW WHAT I OUTTA DO..."
"Amazing..." said Pippi.
"THIS IS ALL THE CARTOONIST'S FAULT! IF HE JUST GAVE ME SOME HANDS, I COULD WRITE THAT ESSAY! BUT NOW..."
"Oh shut up!" shouted the Kamex, as he Mega Punched the Digda in the face.
"OWWWW!" yelled Digda. Then he recovered. "Oh, so that's your game, eh? Well, I may be handless, but they don't call me DigaDiga-Tough Guy for nothing!"
"They don't call you DigaDiga-Tough Guy at all," the Kamex pointed out.
"Okay, it's on, Turtle Boy!" shouted the Digda.
The crowd of Pokiman gathered around the two of them, including Pippi. (Oops, did I say Pokiman? Sorry about that. STUPID TITLE!) They started chanting, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" (Okay, so, you get the picture.)
"Wow, cool..."said Pippi.
>DING!< Well, it all started out with a Hydro Cannon from Kamex. It would've defeated that Digda had it not burrowed underground. So what happened next was that while Kamex was recharging from the hard blast, Digda had managed to use a Fissure attack on the poor comedy turtle.
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
Apparantly, everybody else got hit by the Fissure attack except Pippi and the Kamex, who managed to dodge the attack at the last minute.
"FIGHT! FIGHT FIGHT! FIGHT! FWAAAAAH!"
Kamex then began to jump repeatedly on the Digda, and it fainted. (One, two, three! And he's dooooooown!) All the other Pokemon began to weakly clap and chant and cheer for Kamex.
"That was amazing," said Pippi. "Can you teach me how to do that?"
"Well sure," said Kamex, "but you'll have to have a lot of training in order to battle like that."
"No, not that," said Pippi. "That. I meant the comedian business. I'm good at puns, but not as good as those. Actually, they weren't really puns at all, but..."
Kamex said, "Well, I'll tell you more about my comedian life when we get home."
"Home?!" he asked.
"My home," said Kamex. "Now let's go!"
But just before they had a chance to walk two feet away, the ground below them gave way! Will this be the end of our story already? Find out on the next chapter of "Pokiman"!