POKIMAN! (Rated PG)

**Rex Kamex** · 18th February 2005, 6:35 PM

Pokiman
By MJC CartoGuy
© 2004~2005 by MJC CartoGuy (Well, it's not really copyrighted, but you get the idea.)

It's a new and original comedy fan fiction featuring the talking Pippi from "POKETTO MONSUTAA", rated PG for some viloence and some "SHUT UP"-like insults, but there are no curse words in this story. Currently, this chapter has around 20 chapters, with no sign of ending. For those of you who have just begun to read this, do not be intimidated by the large quanity of chapters. Take your time when you read each chapter. They're not going anywhere.

Also, this title comes from the ever-popular mis-pronountiation of "Pokemon". If somebody else has already come up with this title, let me know. Unless I posted the first chapter of my series first, I'll change my story. Also, I'm going to use only the Japanese and original names of the characters, so I'm only going to say who everybody is about once in a while. Besides that, all the Pokemon talk. And one more thing. Since I don't know any of Pippi's attacks, I'm just gonna have to pick some from Clefairy's moveset.

One Final Note: I don't own Pokemon, 4Kids, Tv-Tokyo, Game Freak, yadah yadah yadah, you get my point, and I don't think anyone thought I owned any of that anyway. But still...

OH, AND DO NOT DUPLICATE THIS STORY WITHOUE PERMISSION. YOU CAN PRINT IT OUT IF YOU WANT, BUT YOU CAN'T SUBMIT IT TO ANOTHER SITE OR FORUM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

Okay! Now that all that's over with, here comes the story!!!

Chapter 1- "POKIMAN!"

Once upon a time, there was a little brown and beige bird Pokemon named Poppo (Pidgey) who was flying freely into the sky. It was a beautiful day, and it would have been more beautiful had it not been for what happened next.

An ice beam shot up into the sky, and it hit the Poppo dead on. "AAAUGH!" he shouted as he fell down to Earth. (Well, he was already on Planet Earth actually, but still...)

"EYAHAHAHAHAHAH!" said our protagonist, the little pink, talking creature named Pippi (Clefairy) who was nearby. "THAT WAS TOTALLY SUPER FUNNY!" Pippi was small, but rather fat for a normal Pippi. He had little light-brown ears coming out of his head.

"What?" asked the Poppo. "You mean you did this?"

"That's right, you fool," said Pippi, "with my Metronome attack, that is!"

"Metronome?!" yelled Poppo in astonishment. "Do you know how rare that is to use something like an Ice Beam with Metronome? You're lucky!"

"Why thank you," said Pippi, "but I still hate you."

"Anyway," said the Poppo, brushing himself off, "you better not do that again!"

"Oh, shut up!" yelled Pippi.

"You want a piece of me?" yelled Poppo. "Do ya?"

"Yeah, I do!"

"Well let's see you fight, fatso!"

"That," said the Pippi, "is where I draw the line! No mercy from me, buster! LET'S GO!"

>DING!< And here was Round 1 of the Pokemon battle. Poppo began with a gust attack while Pippi began to use a Metronome. Pippi started waving his fingers as the little tornado cause by the Poppo was headed towards him. Suddenly, BOOM! Pippi exploded! The Explosion wiped out the Poppo, and he ran away. Well, he tried to, but he just collapsed from that powerful attack. Meanwhile, Pippi had finally managed to pick himself up, though he was still blackened from his own Explosion attack. Apparently, the Metronome attack is so random, you never know which attack will be used, including a self-destructing attack!

"[SIGH.] What to do...What to do..." said Pippi, as he walked through the forest, bored beyond belief. "I've gotta find something to do or I'll explode... yet again."

So Pippi wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and wandered and...gee does this guy ever stop wandering? You see, he ran away from his trainer Red to find some funnier entertainment. Unfortunately, he didn't find the entertainment that he wanted, and so he was bored. Yes, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored...whoops, here I go again. So anyway, Pippi was walking through the forset when he saw...well he saw...well he saw...oh who am I kidding? I don't know what he saw! I guess he saw a...wait a minute, I know what he saw! Apparently he saw a comedian Pokemon who was at the beach area nearby. The comedian Pokemon wasn't on any stage, and he talked to his audience in a loud voice because he didn't feel like getting a microphone.

"... And what's with Koiking (Magikarp)?" said a big, blue turtle that was known as a Kamex (Blastoise), the comedian. His actual body was blue, but the giant shell that he was in was brown on the back side and beige on the front one. "Why in the world do they even exist in this world? Is it to make others feel superior? I've seen a better challenge from a Gyarados! Well duh, because they're not Koiking!"

The Pokemon crowd he was filled with laughter, and so they...laughed!

"Thank you, thank you," said the Kamex, bowing before his Pokemon audience. "You're too kind."

"Tell us another one!" yelled an orange mouse Pokemon known as Raichu.

"Okay I will," said the grinning Kamex. "What's with with those Digda (Diglett)? They're fast enough to pop up and down in the ground at the speed of light, yet they can't even have enough time to pass a written essay!"

"What do you mean?" said a passing Digda. Digda was a brown mole Pokemon, but all you could really see was its brown head because it always traveled in the ground. "Why doesn't somebody give me an essay so I can write it- in 10 seconds!"

"As a matter of fact, I have just the test," said Kamex, handing Digda a written test. "You have 10 seconds to write what it's like to be a Digda. Ready? Begin!"

So Digda began to think about what to write. It only took him about two seconds. Then he decided to write. Unfortunately, it wasn't until after the fifth second that he realized that he couldn't write because of the mere fact that he was basically a brown mole Pokemon that had no legs or hands!

"HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN THE WHOLE TIME, DIDN'T YOU?" yelled an angry Digda that glared at the Kamex.

The nervous Kamex began to sweat a little bit. "Well...I...uh..."

"YOU FOOL!" cried Digda in an earsplitting tone. "OF COURSE I CAN'T WRITE A STUPID PAPER WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO HOLD A PENCIL! WHY I OUTTA...I OUTTA...ACTUALLY I DON'T KNOW WHAT I OUTTA DO..."

"Amazing..." said Pippi.

"THIS IS ALL THE CARTOONIST'S FAULT! IF HE JUST GAVE ME SOME HANDS, I COULD WRITE THAT ESSAY! BUT NOW..."

"Oh shut up!" shouted the Kamex, as he Mega Punched the Digda in the face.

"OWWWW!" yelled Digda. Then he recovered. "Oh, so that's your game, eh? Well, I may be handless, but they don't call me DigaDiga-Tough Guy for nothing!"

"They don't call you DigaDiga-Tough Guy at all," the Kamex pointed out.

"Okay, it's on, Turtle Boy!" shouted the Digda.

The crowd of Pokiman gathered around the two of them, including Pippi. (Oops, did I say Pokiman? Sorry about that. STUPID TITLE!) They started chanting, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" (Okay, so, you get the picture.)

"Wow, cool..."said Pippi.

>DING!< Well, it all started out with a Hydro Cannon from Kamex. It would've defeated that Digda had it not burrowed underground. So what happened next was that while Kamex was recharging from the hard blast, Digda had managed to use a Fissure attack on the poor comedy turtle.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Apparantly, everybody else got hit by the Fissure attack except Pippi and the Kamex, who managed to dodge the attack at the last minute.

"FIGHT! FIGHT FIGHT! FIGHT! FWAAAAAH!"

Kamex then began to jump repeatedly on the Digda, and it fainted. (One, two, three! And he's dooooooown!) All the other Pokemon began to weakly clap and chant and cheer for Kamex.

"That was amazing," said Pippi. "Can you teach me how to do that?"

"Well sure," said Kamex, "but you'll have to have a lot of training in order to battle like that."

"No, not that," said Pippi. "That. I meant the comedian business. I'm good at puns, but not as good as those. Actually, they weren't really puns at all, but..."

Kamex said, "Well, I'll tell you more about my comedian life when we get home."

"Home?!" he asked.

"My home," said Kamex. "Now let's go!"

"OKAY!"

But just before they had a chance to walk two feet away, the ground below them gave way! Will this be the end of our story already? Find out on the next chapter of "Pokiman"!

PLEASE REVIEW.

**Supernerd** · 18th February 2005, 9:35 PM

Very nice! It's pretty funny! I didn't notice any spelling errors, it's a good story, it has great potential, and it's original. But it did seem a tad short, try to make the next chapter longer. I rate it four stars, keep up the good work!

**Rex Kamex** · 19th February 2005, 4:15 PM

Thanks, Supernerd! I'm not sure exactly when I'll be able to put the next chapter, though, since I'm also working on Yu-Gi-Oh! C as well as this story.

**Breezy** · 19th February 2005, 6:01 PM

Yay! ^_^

*shrugs at the random statement above*

Anyhoo, an interesting (and quite funny too) fic MJC! I especially liked all the funny battles and the Digda trying to write an essay. =3

Description was kinda vague but . . . meh. I'm not sure if this can be considered one of those fics that needs uber amounts of description for it to work.

LaTeR dAyZ!

**Rex Kamex** · 21st February 2005, 4:54 PM

Well, last time, you remember, the talking Pippi from the manga "Pocket Monsters" was going to follow this comedian named Kamex to his home, so Kamex would teach him more about comedy. But, the ground below them began to give way! Actually, it did give way, but, still! What will happen now? Find out, now!

Chapter 2- "Pippi's New Adventure!"

Pippi and Kamex realized that they were inside a hole! Apparently, they were standing on that section of the ground for so long, they just fell. Luckilly though, the hole was only 3 feet deep, so they got out, and went on home. (Thought that the hole would be an important part of the story, didn't you?)

Now anyway, the Kamex's home was apparently not its own shell. It was located in a lake. The home was a one story house that was basically a huge version of Kamex's shell. In the family room, there were pictures of Kamex getting many comedian-related rewards.

"Wow," said Pippi.

"That's nothing," said the Kamex. "I've got a trophy so big that no matter how far back the photographers zoom back, they still can't take a picture of it! It's in this closet."

He went to a big, golden closet, and he opened the door. There stood a large, golden trohpy that was 8 feet tall. (Forgive me, people who use the metric system, but that's about 3 meters!) It's base's diameter was 7 feet.

"WHOA," said Pippi.

"Ya' like it?" asked the Kamex.

"Yeah," said Pippi, "but, how'd you get it in that room?"

"It wasn't easy," said the Kamex. "I pull a muscle every time I move it a centimeter! And, I had to push it underwater. Can you imagine that? Try pushing a 400-pound trophy under the surface while it's floating!" (400-pound trophies should normally float, right?)

"So how'd you get it underwater?" asked Pippi.

"Well," said the Kamex, "I asked my buddies to come and help me push it under."

"Who are your friends?" asked Pippi.

"They're Mister Odile and Mister Laglarge," said the Kamex. (Mister Feraligatr and Mister Swampert)

"Mister Odile and Mister Laglare, eh," said Pippi.

"Yep, and I'm Rex the Kamex," said the Kamex.

"Ahhhh..." went Pippi.

"Unfortunately," Rex Kamex went on, "even Odile and Laglare weren't enough help for me. So, we had to suck all the lakewater with a machine."

"What kind of machine?" asked Pippi.

"It was the Suck-The-Water-Out-Of-A-Body-Of-Water 3000," said Rex Kamex. "A really cool invention, it is. All ya' have to do is push a little red button and SUCKETY- SUCK SUCK. All of the water is sucked."

"I see," said Pippi.

"So anyway," said Rex, "after we got all of the water out of the lake, we had to put the actual trophy in. Now we couldn't just drop it. We were thinking of using a bulldozer to move the darn thing, when all of a sudden, that same Digda from before came along..."

"So you know that Digda," said Pippi.

"You betcha," said Rex the Kamex. "That Digda and I became mortal enemies after that day. For it was on that day that Digda had said,

'Hey, whaddya think you're doing, buster?' "

"So?" said Pippi.

"So," said Rex Kamex, "he said that, and then I said, 'We're trying to put a 400-pound trophy in my house. Would you like to help us?'

'Help us?!' he said. 'You guys are destroying my underground home!'

'Destroying your home?!' I said. And then I said, 'How does emptying water and then lowering a trophy down to my home make us destroying your home?' "

"And what did he say?" said Pippi.

And Rex said, "Well then he said, 'You're machine is leaking water that's going thorugh the ground to MY house!'

'Well Sor~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ry,' said I.

'Sorry?!' Digda said. 'Man, I'm gonna hurt you!'

And then he had the nerve to use his Earthquake attack on he! After all, I barely put any water in his house."

"Well it sounds like this is both of your faults," said Pippi.

"And anyway," said Rex Kamex. "He caused an Earthquake attack that caused the trophy, which was on the edge of the cliff of where there used to be water, to knock the trophy off the cliff!"

"Off the cliff?!" said Pippi. "Well what happened next?"

"Can you please stop interruppting me?" shouted Rex Kamex.

"Sorry."

"Now anyway," said Rex Kamex. "The trophy was falling, right? And so it was gonna land right beside the door to my house! So Mister Odile and I began to rumble with that darn Digda as Mister Laglarge jumped off the cliff to grab the 400-pound trophy, even though he knew he couldn't hold it, or save himself from the fall even. Anyway, O and I were beating up the Digda, and what does that Digda do? A FISSURE ATTACK! That stupid mouthless, moronic mole used a FISSURE ATTACK! A FISSURE ATTACK! But we both jumped, and we dodged the attack. Laglarge and the trophy weren't hurt either. And if you thought that the Digda Dummy was finished, think again! It used Frustration! Can you believe it? FRUSTARTAION! So then, Odile and I used our Hydro Pump attacks and would've made Digda faint, but that idiot burrowed underground, and then when it got up, it used another Fissure attack! This time, that idiot's attack actually HIT US! THAT STUPID LITTLE DUMMY! IMAGINE THAT! WE GOT BEATEN BY A STUPID LITTLE MIDGET CALLED DIGDA!"

"If Digda was so stupid," said Pippi, "then how come he won?"

"I don't know," said Rex Kamex. "Anyway, he beat us, or so he thought. It turned out that O and I both were holding Focus Bands at the time, and we each had 1 HP left. However, the Fissure attack did push us to the edge of the cliff, and when we weakly got up, the ground below us gave way, and all three of us fell down the cliff! to make matters worse, we fell on Laglarge, and we all got pushed towards the trophy! Pippi, we had to use cructhes for three weeks after that moment."

"Ouch," said Pippi, "but you never answered my question. How'd you get the trophy into your house?"

"Oh yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhh..." said Rex Kamex. "I didn't. After I recovered, I had to build another room around the trophy, which connected to my house. Then I built some more rooms, and I put a sign on my door. And you can easily tell that it clearly says 'NO DIGDAS ALLOWED'!"

"Yeah, I saw," said Pippi.

"Now, rumor has it that Digda wants to challenge me to a battle in the Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento*," said Rex Kamex, "but if that's the case, then Digda better say it to my face!" (*Pocket Monster Super Battle Tournament)

"What's the Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento?" asked Pippi.

"WHAT?" exclaimed Rex Kamex. "You've never heard of the Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento?"

"Nope," said Pippi.

"WHAT THE BARNICLE HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ALLYOUR LIFE TO BE ABLE TO HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A TOURNAMENT, DUDE?"

"I've been training with this trainer named Red," said Pippi, "but I ran away from him in order to get some more laughs and become a comedian. But what's so special about the Poketto Monsutaa Batoru Toonamento?"

"The Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento," said Rex Kamex.

"Oh," said Pippi.

"The Poketto Monutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento," said Rex, "is this special tournament held once a year where Pokemon apply to battle each other without the use of trainers! It's basically a bunch of wild Pokemon battling each other."

"I see," said Pippi.

"But," said Rex the Kamex, "the best part of the tournament in my opinion is that every halftime, there are comedian acts."

"How many halftimes are there?" asked Pippi.

"The tournament takes five days," said Rex, "with the first day having the preliminary rounds and then 64 Pokemon, the second day with 32 Pokemon, the third one with 16, the fourth one with 8, and the fifth one with 4 and then 2 Pokemon left. There are halftimes between an even number of battles on the fourth day, and between the semifinal and final rounds on the fifth day, making 2 halftimes. Does that answer your question?"

"I think so," said Pippi, "but man, that is so confusing."

"The comedians, during halftime, begin to tell a bunch of jokes, and things like that. And, the comedians are all Pokemon. There are NO HUMANS ALLOWED AT ALL! The comedian acts really beat noisy bands, don't you think? And also," said Rex, "if you want to battle in the Toonamento, you can't also be a comedian. If you want to be a comedian, then you can't battle. It's one or the other."

"Where do I sign up to be a comedian?" asked Pippi.

"Registration starts tommorrow," said Rex Kamex.

"In that case," said Pippi, "I'm gonna-"

Just then, someone came to the door, and KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK, went the door.

"Who is it?" asked Rex.

"It's me, Digda," said the voice, "and I'm here with some of by buds to come and teach you a lesson!"

Rex opened the door, and there was Digda with a Golone (Golem) and a Kentauros (Tauros). All three of them had polka dot bandanas on, and they looked like they meant business.

As Pippi panicked, Kamex said, "GET OUT OF MY FACE, YOU HANDLESS HORROR! AND TAKE YOUR PALS, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, WITH YOU!" (I got the "handless horror" line from James, who called Seviper a "legless loser".)

"Not without a fight!" shouted Digda. "Get 'em, boys!"

"Well if it's a fight you want," shouted the Kamex, "then it's a fight you'll get, right Pippi? Pippi?"

But Pippi was hiding for its life somewhere in Rex's house. "Uh-oh," said the outnumbered Rex, who didn't seem to notice the Digda, Golone, and Kentauros leaping up in the air... (Well, Digda can't leap, so it just headed towards Rex.)

Find out what happens next time in... POKIMAN!

(... though Pippi never really started a new adventure, now did he?)

**Supernerd** · 21st February 2005, 6:01 PM

This chapter is even more funny than the last one! I love how that hole was just three feet deep! I noticed a few slips of the keyboard, though. For instance:

Originally Posted by MJC CartoGuy

"Sorrry."

Should be "Sorry."

But don't worry about it, I make the smae mistakes in my stories. Anyway, put up the next chapter soon, I want to know how that battle turns out!

**Kiyohime** · 21st February 2005, 6:25 PM

Hmmmm....this isn't exactly easy to review. Since it's a mindless comedy written purely for laughs (am I right?) the description doesn't seem neccessary. But the critic inside me is urging for more description, so I don't know what to say, and I'll just leave that point for now.

The dialogue needs a bit of work. You use far too many adverbs than what's neccessary. Try to vary it a bit and add description.

"he said she said he said she said" yada yada blah blah blah...

That gets a bit tiring, so try this.

Example: "Where do I sign up to be a comedian?" asked Pippi.

"Registration starts tommorrow," said Rex Kamex.

You could change it to: "Where do I sign up to be a comedian?" Pippi asked eagerly, rubbing his tiny paws together in ancipitation.

"Registration starts tomorrow." Rex Kamex replied.

See the difference? It makes the dialogue less dull to read. ^^

You also need to add more description of what the characters are feeling themselves.

"Not without a fight!" shouted Digda. "Get 'em, boys!"

You could try...

"Not without a fight!" shouted Digda, narrowing his eyes. "Get 'em, boys!"

I may sound nitpicky but that was my first impression. Your spelling and grammar is, thankfully enough, sastificatory.

..::Scrap::..

**Rex Kamex** · 21st February 2005, 9:25 PM

I'll use your advice, Scrap. Thank you for it. Also, I think I used Spell Check on the first chapter, but I didn't do it on this chapter, so that's why there would be spelling errors. Also, I'm gonna have to update this more often, since I updated this thread with Chapter 2 after finding my fic on Page 3 of the fanfictions!

Sadly though, I don't know exactly when Chapter 3 will come.

Oh well, thanks for the reviews!

(By the way, I just erased the extra "r" from "Sorrry".)

**Kiyohime** · 21st February 2005, 9:27 PM

No problem, I was happy to oblige. ^^ I'm glad you didn't think I was being a nitpicker.

**Rex Kamex** · 23rd February 2005, 1:58 AM

I'm sorry guys, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again. For those of you who haven't reviewed yet, could you please review? In the meantime, until I get Chapter 3, for those of you who like Yu-Gi-Oh, you can look at my other fanfic.

EDIT: SCRATCH THAT.

Here is Chapter 3:

Well, last time, you remember, the talking Pippi from Pocket Monsters the manga had visited the home of Kamex, a comedian Blastoise. The home was located at the bottom of a lake, and it had air in it, by the way. There, Kamex explained how he knew the talking Digda from Chapter 1, and there was a rumor that Digda wanted to fight Kamex in the Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento. Right after Kamex explained this, Digda came along with his friends, Golone and Kentauros, and they were ready to RUMBLE, literally! Pippi ran away, hiding, and while Kamex was wondering where he went, Digda and his buds charged toward the unexpecting turtle...

Chapter 3- "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

>PUNCH!<

>KICK!<

>CLOBBER!<

The three Pokemon were too much for Rex Kamex, who kept losing HP second after second after second.

Meanwhile, Pippi was hiding under a blue sofa, thinking over and over again that he aught to do something.

Everybody was still doing their Frustration attacks, as Kamex was trying to endure the hits. He thought that it would be too wimpy to retreat inside his shell.

Sadly, Kamex nearly fainted from the repeated attacks, until Pippi, who was still under the sofa, started moving his fingers once again.

C'mon, something good, thought Pippi, still moving.

Meanwhile, Kamex had less than 10 out of his 235 HP, when something finally happened. Pippi began Splashing!

Oh, barnacles, thought Pippi.

Kamex finally managed to move his cannons, and then he finally was able to unleash... a Hydro Cannon! The Hydro Cannon managed to make everyone except Kentauros lose all except 1 HP, and Kentauros lost 2 HP. (Close enough.)

"Man," said Rex Kamex, weakly. "That was a killer, literally."

"Yeah," said Digda. "I know what you mean."

"Digdude," said Rex, "how did you and Go over there survive going underwater to get to my house? You know that Rock and Ground-type Pokemon are weak against water."

"Yeah well," answered the tired Digda, "that's how tough we are. After losing my last battle, we trained hard to conquer our weakness against water."

"Yet you still lost to my Hydro Cannon," replied Rex, who weakly got up.

"Hey, I didn't lose to your stupid cannon the first time," said Digda. "You jumped on me! Multiple times!"

"True dat," said Rex, "but now, Digda, O Dude of Disaster, can you and your boys go now?"

"Does it look like we can?" Digda weakly shouted, trying to move.

"Good point," said Rex Kamex.

"HEY WAIT A MINUTE!" shouted Pippi, who finally stopped Splashing and started pointed at the Digda. "WE'VE GOT TO ASK IF THE RUMORS ARE TRUE! DIGDA, IS IT TRUE THAT YOU WANTED TO CHALLENGE REX THE KAMEX TO A BATTLE IT THE POKETTO MONSUTAA BATORU TOONAMENTO?"

"THE POKETTO MONSUTAA SUUPAA BATORU TOONAMENTO!" shouted everyone, only weakly.

"Hey Pippi," said Rex, "where'd you come from?"

"The sofa," answered Pippi.

"Why yes," answered Digda, slowly moving closer to Pippi. "I did want to fight this Kamex here in the Toonamento." Then he turned around to Rex. "But, I grew impatient, so I asked my buddies here to teach you a lesson, Rexy-Boy."

"Rexy-boy?!" shouted Rex, instantly getting up.

"Yeah, Rexy-boy," replied Digda, angrily, then turning back to Pippi, saying, "and if you ever try to stop me from hurting Rex, I'll hurt you too, you stupid, pink, pudgy pig!"

"I'M A FAIRY!" shouted Pippi, "AND I'M ON A DIET!"

"Since when?" asked Kentauros.

"Since... I don't know," said Pippi. "Anyway, Digda, you're a dirty, dumb, dopey little dork from the planet Doofus."

"Well your mother dresses you funny!" answered Digda.

"YOU IDIOT, I'M NAKED!" shouted Pippi.

"I'm no idiot!" said Digda.

"Yeah, you're a super idiot!" shouted Pippi.

"Ooooooooooooooh," went the other three Pokemon, watching.

"THAT'S IT!" shouted Digda, who instantly regained all of his strength. "YOU'RE GOING DOWN, PUNK!"

"Bring it on, weak-o," shouted Pippi, putting up his dukes.

"Oh, I'll bring it, all right," said Digda, who charged towards Pippi.

As they began killing each other with their attacks, the other three Pokemon watched.

DING DING DING! Digda, once again, used Frustration. So, he began chasing Pippi until Pippi Mega Kicked him away! Then Pippi put his hands together and went, "KA...ME...HA...ME..."

"Uh, Pippi," said Kamex. "Wrong cartoon."

"Oh, sorry," said Pippi. (I just love a DBZ moment, don't you?)

Meanwhile, Digda managed to get up and began doing another Frustration attack at Pippi! So, Pippi began to wave its fingers to do another Metronome attack.

"Oh no you don't!" said Digda, charging towards Pippi. Fortunately for Pippi, Digda missed and ran into a wall.

But Pippi could not focus on his attack because he watched Digda move out of the way, revealing a big crack in the wall. Pippi managed to restart his attack again, but what attack did he do? A Razor Leaf attack! But, right before started the attack, Digda unleashed an Earthquake attack! That idiot Digda unintentionally hit Rex, Golone, and Kentauros with his attack! This caused Pippi to lose his balance, causing him to not only lose HP but release his Razor Leaf attack not on Digda but at the crack in the wall that Digda made! Now this broke the section of the wall, causing it to go through. This caused water to flow in the house, causing a BIG, MASSIVE FLOOD! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, A FLOOD, BABY! The flood of water came in, without the fainted Pokemon knowing it.

"OH NO!" shouted Digda, who was weak against water.

The waters came and hit Digda and Pippi, the only ones who still had HP until the waters came, causing them to faint. All of the motionless Pokemon were dragged through the house. To make matters worse for the drowning losers, Rex's television came in contact with the floodwaters, causing an electric spark to be made, and it shocked the entire house! Not that it mattered, as everybody had already fainted anyway. Eventually, the entire house had been filled with water, and all the electric equipment exploded underwater. The underwater turtle shell home could not hold any more water, and so it burst, causing all of the Pokemon to fall out of the house and float up to the surface.

They ended up in a field that was conveniently full of Max Revival gas, reviving the fainted Pokemon.

"Wha... What happened?" asked Rex, after slowly opening his eyes. Then he looked at the lake, seeing the pieces of his blackened home floating on the surface (blackened because of the electric sparks). "My home... it's ruined!" Then, he turned ANGRY.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGDAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

His eyes turned red, and he grew big muscles on himself all of a sudden.

"What? I didn't wreck your stupid home!" said Didga, "although I wanted too. It's the ugliest home I've ever seen!"

"THEN WHO DID?" shouted Rex, stomping towards Digda with unstoppable anger. "HUH? WHO? HUH? WHO HUH? CAN YOU TELL ME?"

"Yes. It was him," said Digda, pointing at Pippi.

Then, everybody slowly turned their heads to Pippi.

"Um, uh, oops," went Pippi, whose face turned red from embarrassment.

Just then, steam started flowing out of Rex's nostrils.

"PIPPI..." said Rex, "DID YOU DO THIS TO MY HOUSE?"

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes..." said Pippi, weakly.

"See, I'm not lying," said Digda.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO YOU NOW THAT YOU DESTROYED MY HOUSE?" said Rex Kamex, now marching towards Pippi.

"No," said Pippi. "What?"

"WELL," said Kamex, "I'M GONNA-"

Ooh, we're out of time for the chapter! So, what'll happen to Pippi now that he destroyed Rex's house? And what will Digda do now? Find out what happens next in the fourth chapter of Pokiman!

**Rex Kamex** · 16th March 2005, 11:29 PM

First of all, if you hadn't already noticed, I put Chapter 3 in my edited last post. If you had read that already, then here's the next chapter.

Last time on Pokiman, Pippi met Rex Kamex, a comedian, who had won lots of trophies. His most prized one, his biggest one, was the one that ended up causing Rex and a Digda to become mortal enemies. When Digda came along to Rex Kamex’s house, he brought along a Kentauros and a Golone with him. During the big battle of Pippi and Rex VS Digda, Kentauros and Golone, Pippi ended up destroying Rex Kamex’s house! And so…

Chapter 4- “What’s He Gonna Do?”

"PIPPI..." said Rex, "DID YOU DO THIS TO MY HOUSE?"

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes..." said Pippi, weakly.

"See, I'm not lying," said Digda.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO YOU NOW THAT YOU DESTROYED MY HOUSE?" said Rex Kamex, now marching towards Pippi.

"No," said Pippi. "What?"

"WELL," said Kamex, "I'M GONNA…” he got out a remote control. “…PUSH THIS BUTTON!”

He pushed a big red button, and then, all of the furniture and the pieces of the house all sank underwater. The furniture got together, and the pieces all stuck back together. The house was fixed!

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?” went Digda.

Everyone looked at the lake, trying to look at the house.

“You see,” said Kamex, “my home was specially built so that whenever you push this big red button, the house comes back together again, ‘cause my house is the Turtle Shell Model 3000, with a Shell Remote 3000 to go with it! (Big red button will not function properly if house self destructs. Neither product is available in stores. Call 1-800-555-555-555-555-55555555555555555555555555 to buy a Turtle Shell Model 3000 or a Shell Remote 3000 now.)”

Pippi, Kentauros, Digda, and Golone’s mouths dropped open. (Actually, Digda doesn’t have a mouth, but oh well.)

“DARN IT!” shouted Digda. “I was hoping that Rex will be miserable because his house got flooded. Say , what ever happened to all that water in the house, anyway?”

“Cool remote, Rex,” said the excited Pippi.

“It’s not all good Pippi,” said Rex, “for when all of the pieces fit back together again, they closed in all of the water. I’m afraid my home’s not airless, anymore.”

“Oh,” said Digda. “But can’t you punish that Pippi for destroying your house?”

“After I fixed it back together?” replied Rex Kamex.

“THERE’S STILL WATER IN IT, YA’ BIG JERK!” shouted the angry Digda. “AND HOW CAN YOU JUST LET THAT STUPID FAT PIG GET AWAY WITH DESTROYING YOUR HOUSE, HUH? HUH? HUH?”

“I told you, I’m a fairy!” shouted Pippi. “And, like I said before, I’m on a very promising diet! I only eat 14 hamburgers a day!”

“Can you say ‘heart attack’, Pippi?” responded Digda.

“AT LEAST I CAN STILL LIVE IN MY HOUSE!” shouted Rex Kamex. “AND I WOULDN’T PUNISH PIPPI LIKE THAT IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT. NOW IF IT WERE YOU WHO DESTROYED MY HOUSE ON THE OTHER HAND…”

“THAT’S IT!” shouted the angry Digda, whose angry face turned red. “THAT IS IT! YOU HEAR ME, TURTLE BOY? I AM THROUGH BEING NICE!”

“NICE?!” shouted Rex the Kamex back. “WHADDAYA MEAN NICE?”

“SHUT UP, PUNK!” shouted Digda. “NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME, BUSTER!”

“It’s Rex.”

“WHATEVER!” responded Digda. “NOW LISTEN! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU, AND ANY OTHER PEOPLE LIKE YOU, ALWAYS RUINING MY LIFE!”

“Well look who’s talking,” said Rex, shaking his head.

“Listen, you,” said Golone. “I’m a rock. I don’t like water-type Pokemon. So you better get out of my face right now!”

“I’m not in your face,” said Rex.

“Oh,” said Golone.

(Silence………………………………………)

“And anyway,” said Kentauros, “Pippi and you should just get out of our way, ‘cause we don’t like pink Pokemon.”

“Yeah,” said Golone, “and we especially dislike fat pink Pokemon.”

“SHUT UP, FOOLS!” shouted Pippi, pointing at Digda and his friends. “Kamex, teach that Digda and his stupid companions a lesson they’ll never forget!”

“Why wouldn’t I?” responded Kamex, getting in his battle position.

“Okay then,” said Pippi, narrowing his eyes. (Yes, I know, I didn’t make that quote up.) “I’ll fight too.”

“We’re gonna fight as well,” said Kentauros, putting up his dukes. “Right, Golone?”

“You know it,” said Golone.

So, Digda, Golone, Kentauros, Pippi, and Rex all stood, ready to fight each other.

“Then again,” said Digda, “it would be nice if I could crush you in the Toonamento, so, farewell, Rexy. C’mon guys.”

So Digda, Kentauros, and Golone started leaving the area.

“WAIT…” said Rex Kamex, getting confused. “YOU’RE LEAVING?”

“Yeah,” said Digda. “We gotta go, but see you in the Toonamento, and remember that my name is Digda.”

“And my name is Ken Kentauros,” said the Kentauros.

“Yeah, and my name is Gordon the Golone,” said the Golone.

So Digda burrowed underground, the Kentauros went toward a nearby plain, and the Golone walked by Pippi and said, “Pig.”

“GET OUTTA HERE!” shouted Pippi, shaking his fist. The Golone just laughed to himself, and then went away.

Just then, Rex Kamex shook his fist. “COME BACK HERE, DIGDA, YOU LITTLE COWARD!” he said. “EMPHASIS ON LITTLE!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, Turtle Boy,” said Digda, from under the ground.

So Digda and his buddies left the turtle and the pig- uh, er, I mean fairy, in the dust.

“So what are we gonna do about your house?” asked Pippi, looking down into the lake again.

“Well,” said Rex, “I’ll have to hire some dude to take all the water out of the lake, and then they would be able to take all the water out of my house. But until that time, we’re gonna need a place to stay for the night. You see,” he continued, “I can have a guy to fix the house, but it’ll take a whole night for that to happen. Then, we can go back home.”

“I feel totally bad, Rex,” said Pippi, sighing. “I destroyed your house.”

“That’s okay, little man,” said Rex. “You were only trying to hurt Digda. You were only trying to hurt Digda, weren’t you?”

“Yeah,” said Pippi. (Just remember, Rex had fainted during the flood, so he didn’t actually see it coming.)

“And anyway,” continued Rex, “you won’t be able to stay at my house yet, since you wouldn’t be able to breathe the water.”

“So we can just go to a hotel to spend the night, right?” asked Pippi.

“Yep,” said Rex, “and we can do that whole comedian registration first thing tomorrow.”

“OH BOY!” shouted Pippi, jumping up and down in an incontrollable way.

“But just remember,” Rex reminded, “that you can’t battle in the Toonamento if you end up being a comedian, and if you battle, you can’t be a comedian. Because you have to choose one or the other to participate, make sure you are signing the right list. You will have to use a permanent pen.”

“All right, I’ll remember,” said Pippi, rolling his eyes, “but where should we stay at night? The Pokemon Center?”

“ARE YOU NUTS?” shouted Rex Kamex. “YOU WANT TO GO TO A PLACE WHERE ALL KINDS OF POKEMON TRAINERS WOULD BE ABLE TO CAPTURE YOU INSIDE THEIR POKE BALLS?”

“Well,” said Pippi, “they couldn’t capture me, because I already belong to a trainer named Red, and so other trainers’ Poke Balls wouldn’t work on me.”

“But you ran away,” said Rex, “so they can capture you, and you didn’t run away just so you could be captured again, now did you?”

“No, I guess not,” said Pippi.

“YOU GUESS?! YOU GUESS?!” yelled Rex. “Listen, Pippi. As you know, Poke Balls are what Pokemon Trainers use to capture Pokemon, and when a Trainer captures a Pokemon, another Trainer’s Poke Ball will not be able to capture you. But since you ran away, you were basically released, and so you are wild again. You’re free.”

“Yeah, but,” said Pippi, “if the Trainer wants to capture you, they’d have to send out a Pokemon to weaken you first.”

“But how do you know that the Trainer’s not gonna throw a Poke Ball first?” asked Rex. “Or how do you know that the Trainer who wants to capture you will use fully healed Pokemon to fight? Pokemon Centers restore Pokemon, you know.”

“True,” said Pippi.

“WHAT IF THAT TRAINER USES A MASTER BALL?” continued Rex, shaking his fist. “WHY, THAT ACCURSED BALL CAN CAPTURE ANY POKEMON WITHOUT FAIL!”

“Okay then,” said Pippi. “We won’t use the Pokemon Center. Unless…”

“Unless what?” asked Rex, curious.

“Unless, we dress up as humans in disguise!” shouted Pippi.

“You’re genius!” shouted Rex, shaking Pippi’s hand. “Except, how will we be able to get clothes?”

“Does your house have some human clothes?” asked Pippi.

“Well, yes,” answered Rex, “for Halloween. But they’re all wet.”

“That’s okay then,” said Pippi.

“And also,” said Rex, “I think you’re a little too small and too pink for a disguise. Why don’t I pretend to be your Trainer?”

“OKAY THEN!” shouted Pippi, rubbing his paws together in anticipation. (That wasn’t one of my original quotes, either.) “LET’S DO IT!”

“Okay then,” said Rex. “I’ll go down to my house and dive down to get my human costume. After drying the clothes, I’ll call someone to take the water out of my house, and then we can go to the Pokemon Center for rest. Okay?”

“OKAY!” shouted Pippi.

So Rex Kamex dived down underwater, getting some clothes for his disguise. Pippi was really excited, and he would’ve been happier if it wasn’t for what happened next.

“LOOK EVERYONE! IT’S A PIPPI!”

Pippi turned around, and to his horror, he saw three Pokemaniac Trainers staring at him, each with a Poke Ball in their hand.

“Gyaaaah!” went Pippi, biting his nails in fright.

“Wow,” said one of the Pokemaniacs. “A Pippi is a rare Pokemon to collect.”

“Yeah,” said another, “and this one’s just standing here out in the open, screaming to be caught by one of us.”

“It’s capture time,” said the very first Pokemaniac who spoke. “Hey, where’d it go?”

“EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” shouted Pippi, as he was running away from the kids.

“COME BACK HERE!” they shouted, running after him, still with their Poke Balls.

Well this sure seems like an interesting place to stop typing. So, will Pippi be able to escape the trainers? And will Digda and his companions stop calling him a pig? And will I ever stop asking you questions that you don’t know the answer to yet? Find out all of these questions (except the last one) in the next chapter of Pokiman!

**Rex Kamex** · 20th March 2005, 2:57 AM

Last time, in this story, the talking Pippi from Pocket Monsters met up with Rex Kamex, a comedian turtle with a mortal enemy named Digda, who brought his friends, Kentauros and Golone, who came to fight Rex and Pippi. After a devastating battle, Pippi accidentally ended up destroying Rex’s underwater house! Luckily, Rex could fix it, but there was still water in his house. Anyway, Rex was gonna have somebody drain the water out, and so Rex and Pippi would stay at the Pokemon Center that night. But, Rex would have to disguise as a human in order to not get captured. As Rex dove into his home to get some wet clothing for his disguise, Pippi had gotten some problems of his own.

Chapter 5- “The Night Before the SUPER BATTLES!”

“LEMME OUTTA HERE!”

That was Pippi’s remark to the situation that he was in, as he was running from the three Pokemaniacs with their Poke Balls with them.

“COME BACK, PIPPI!” shouted the maniacs, trying to look for the perfect time to throw their Poke Balls.

“EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” shouted Pippi, running for his life and waving his arms.

“GO!” went the three maniacs, who threw out their Poke Balls. Luckily for Pippi, the Balls were full, but that was only because the Poke Balls released Pokemon out of them.

Three Lizardos (Charmeleons) came out of the Poke Balls. They were fierce lizard/dinosaur-like Pokemon with flames coming out of their red-orange tails.

"GRRR!" they went, as Pippi decided to hide behind a rock.

"Li, use your Iron Tail on that rock!" shouted the first maniac who spoke in the fourth chapter, whose name was (looks in the baby names book) Harry.

And so Li the Lizardo's tail grew all silver, and the tail smashed through the rock like it was... well, something fragile. Anyway, Pippi, who was covering his head, uncovered his head to see an angry Li glaring down at him.

"Um, uh, nice Lizardo," said Pippi, trembling.

"Now Li, use your Flamethrower!" shouted Harry.

"Prepare to faint, buddy!" shouted Li, preparing himself for the attack.

"LOOK!" shouted Pippi, pointing behind Li. "IT'S THE CAT IN THE HAT!"

"Where?" shouted an excited Li, turning his head.

Now this gave Pippi enough time to escape. He ran away, only to bump into the bodies of Zar and Do, the other Lizardo.

"ZAR!" shouted the second maniac who ever spoke, Larry. "USE YOUR FLAMETHROWER!"

So while Li was looking around for the Cat in the Hat, Zar started breathing large flames on Pippi.

"EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAH!" it yelled.

"We're gonna get a Pippi! We're gonna get a Pippi!" sang Zar and Larry, dancing.

Just then the other Pokemaniac, Barry, got out another Poke Ball and said, "Poke Ball, go!" He threw the Poke Ball towards Pippi, but it got burned up by Li and Zar's Flamethrowers!

"Nobody captures Pippi except me," they both shouted.

"OH YEAH?" shouted Barry back. "WELL WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT TO MY FACE!?"

"You know what?" said Harry. "Forget our Pokemon. Let's fight ourselves!"

"Yeah," said the other boys, who charged towards Harry.

Soon, all of the boys began punching and kicking each other, and the only melee bigger than this one would have been when Digda and his buddies fought Rex and Pippi. Li, Zar, and Do, all watched their trainers in confusion. Then they looked at each other.

"So, um, uh," said Li, "what do we do?"

"I dunno," answered Do. "Wanna dance?"

"OKAY!" shouted Zar and Li.

So then the three Lizardo started tap dancing for absolutely no reason, whatsoever. They started singing in the same tune as before, "We're gonna dance our hearts out! We're gonna dance our hearts out! We're gonna dance our hearts out!"

Pippi, not noticing his big chance to escape, just watched.

"We're gonna dance our hearts out! We're gonna dance our heart's out! We're gonna dance our hearts AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH !"

The three Lizardo would've continued dancing had it not been for the fact that they were hit by a gigantic Hydro Pump attack, and since their Pokemon type was weak against water, they fainted. The boys stopped fighting and looked.

There was Rex Kamex, with a suitcase of clothing with him.

"REX!" shouted Pippi. "My homeboy!"

"Don't say that," said Rex.

"Sorry."

"AUGH!" shouted the maniacs. "IT'S A KAMEX!"

The giant turtle started marching up to Harry, Larry, and Barry.

"Um, uh," they went, and then pretended to look at their watches. "Ooh, would you look at the time! Gotta go!"

They returned their Pokemon inside their Poke Balls and ran off.

"Thanks, Rex," said Pippi, relieved.

“No problem,” said the comedian turtle. “Okay, I’ve got my clothing. It was actually in the suitcase the entire time! None of the clothes got wet. And now, I shall show you the clothes. I already looked in the case after coming to the surface of the water.”

“Well lay it on me, Brother,” said Pippi, whose heart was pounding.

“Oooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay,” said the confused Rex. “Here we go.”

He opened the suitcase, which conveniently had all, and only, the clothes he desired. There was the traditional bushy-eyebrow-big-nose-and-moustache wear, a suit with a red bow tie with white polka dots on it, some cowboy boots, a black magician hat with a red stripe on it, and some blue jeans. No, it wouldn’t match, but, who cares, right? I mean, it’s not a real human, so it’s not a real fashion disaster, either! Am I right? Huh? Huh? Huh? Okay, sorry.

"So... you’re gonna wear this?" said Pippi, looking through the clothing.

"That's right," answered Rex, holding up the black hat. "Oh, and get this... I also found this pipe!" He got out a brown pipe.

"So," said Pippi, "you're gonna smoke a pipe?"

"Well," answered Kamex, "I wouldn't really smoke it. See, I'd fill it up with water, and then I'd put a straw through the part that a blow through. That way, when I blow threw the straw, I start blowing some bubbles! Cool, huh?"

"No," answered Pippi.

"Okay then," responded Rex, after a long silence. "Let's go then. To the Pokemon Center!"

"YEAH! TO THE POKEMON CENTER, AND BEYOND!" shouted Pippi, pointing to the sky.

"Dude, that's the third lame thing you've said," said Rex, annoyed.

"Sorry."

"Ah, I guess it's okay, Pippi. After all," said Rex, "it isn't really that lame. You can say whatever you want."

"Okay then," said Pippi. "TO THE CENTER! AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Rex sighed.

So, the two Pokemon went to the Pokemon Center. The nurse was known as Joi-san (Nurse Joey), a red-haired woman with relatives that have the same look as her.

"May I help you?" asked Joi-san, as Rex and Pippi walked up to her desk.

"Um er, yes," said Rex, using a fake voice. "My name is Rex Kame- OOF!"

Pippi kicked him in the leg.

"Are you okay?" asked Joi-san, not seeing Pippi.

"Um, uh, yes, I am okay. Now listen," Rex responded. "My name is Rex Ka- um, er, Rex, ah, um... Oh, forget my name! Word on the street is that Pokemon Centers heal Pokemon. Is that not correct?"

"You're new at this, aren't you?" said Joi.

Rex straightened his glasses and responded, "Er, no, I mean, yes, I mean, ah who cares what I mean? I mean, yeah! That's it! I'm new! Yes! I am new! New I am! New am I! Am I new? Yes I am! I AM SO NEW, BABY- OOOF!"

Now, Pippi kicked Rex in the stomach.

"Knock it off!" Rex whispered.

"Say Mister," started Joi, "exactly why are you so blue?"

"Um, er, uh, ee, ooh," started Rex, sweating. "I, uh, I've got the blues! Yeah, that's it! The blues! I've got the blues! The blues I've got! The blues have me! Have I got the blues? Yes I do! YEEAAUUHH!" He shook his right fist in the air.

"Then why are you so happy?" asked Joi-san.

"I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE!" shouted Rex. "I'VE GOT THE BLUES AND I LIKE IT! YEAH!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!?!?!?" shouted Pippi, who jumped up and shouted in Rex's ear.

"Don't you raise your voice at your Trainer, buddy!" shouted Rex, kicking Pippi in the stomach.

"Oh my goodness!" shouted Joi. "How could that terrible Trainer abuse his Pokemon like that? And it's such a rare one, too!"

"Yeah, how could you?" asked Pippi, grinning.

Just then, a bunch of angry Trainers stormed up to Rex shouting how terrible of a Trainer he was.

"I'm gonna call the police!" shouted Joi-san, picking up her cell phone.

"NO, not Junsa (Jenny)!" shouted Rex, losing his balance from all the trainers.

"Officer Junsa," started Joi, "we have a situation here. This poor Pippi here just got attacked by his own Trainer! He needs to be arrested immediately!"

"ARRESTED!?" shouted Rex. "BUT THE ONLY THING I'VE DONE THAT WAS CRIMEWORTHY WAS TEAR THE TAG OFF OF MY MATRESS!" Then he paused. "OH NO! YOU MADE ME CONFESS!"

"Tell it to the judge, pal," said one of the Trainers.

"Whoa," said Pippi.

Just then, Junsa came. This policewoman was only a few meters away from the Pokemon Center. "All right, you," she said to Rex. "You're coming with me!"

"B-B-But I'm not really a human being," said Rex. "I'm a Pokemon!"

"A likely story," said Junsa, getting out her handcuffs from her blue uniform.

"No, really, I am!" said Rex.

"Remind me after you get out of jail to check you into the Funny Farm," said Junsa, cuffing Rex.

"No, really! I really am a Pokemon," shouted Rex, "and I'd prove it to you by taking off my costume if you'd just uncuff me!"

“Okay,” said Junsa, unlocking the cuffs. “At least that would explain why you have a blue face and blue ears sticking out of the top of them.”

So Rex took off his costume, and everyone gasped, even Pippi, who had forgotten he wasn’t human.

“It’s… a Kamex,” said Junsa.

“But that would mean that the Pippi isn’t his,” said Joi. She got out a Poke Ball. “So, we can capture it!”

“YEAH!” shouted everyone, including Junsa. They all got out their Poke Balls.

“I think that’s our cue to run now,” said Pippi.

“Ya’ think?” Rex replied.

“EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AH!” they shouted, running out of the Center and for their lives.

“COME BACK HERE!” shouted the humans.

“I TOLD YOU GOING THERE WAS A BAD IDEA!” Rex reminded, heading for the hills.

“Gee, it sure is a shame that we left all of our clothing at the Pokemon Center,” answered Pippi, running 50 miles an hour.

“OMIGOSH! That reminds me!” shouted Rex. “In all the excitement about my clothing, I had forgotten to call the guy to drain the water out of my house!”

“Y’ know, this reminds me of how I was running at the beginning of this chapter,” said Pippi.

Well, now that he said that, I might as well end the chapter now. So, will our heroes ever get out of this mess? Will Digda ever get his revenge at the Suupaa Batoru Toonamento? And will I ever save a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico? No, because I don’t have a car! Oh well, find out what happens next in the next chapter of… Pokiman!

(Why haven’t you called Geico?)

**Supernerd** · 20th March 2005, 2:20 PM

Oh man, this is getting funnier and funnier! Sorry for not replying sooner. Anyway, spelling is good, grammar is good, plot is execellent, humor is fantastic... I'd say your weakest part would be the description (funny, that's my weakest part, too). Just keep working on it, the more you write, the better you'll get. And I love that Geico crack!

**Rex Kamex** · 27th March 2005, 10:51 PM

Hopefully, you people from other countries know that Geico is a car insurance company. If not, well then, you just found out. Okay.

Last time, you recall, for those of you who figured that it was okay to skip the previous chapters because you thought, “HEY, MJC CARTOGUY’S JUST GONNA TELL US WHAT HAPPENS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, SO WHY SHOULD WE BOTHER READING ANYTHING FROM BEFORE!?” , or, just to remind you, Pippi and Rex Kamex were gonna go to the Pokemon Center to spend the night while Rex’s house was supposed to be drained of the water of which was located inside Rex's turtle shell house. However, as you remember, Rex never even called anybody to fix the house. Eventually, Pippi and Rex started getting tired of running from the unstoppable crowd of people from the Pokemon Center, where they went to spend the night assuming that the house was fixed. In the end, Rex learned that disguising as a human just doesn't cut it in a Pokemon Center? So, what will happen now? Find out, next!

Chapter 6- "I'm Fushigibana! Pippi and Rex's Only Hope Left!"

Like I mentioned before, Pippi and Rex were running away from the people from the Pokemon Center, who now got lit torches and pitchforks with them like an angry mob.

"WE'RE DONE FOR! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?" Rex shouted to Pippi.

"I KNOW! LET'S WATCH A SOAP OPERA!" shouted Pippi.

"I WAS HOPING FOR SOMETHING RELATED TO OUR SITUATION!" Rex Kamex hollered.

"GOOD POINT! SORRY."

Pippi and Rex were still running from the crowd. "You think we should attack them?" Rex asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Pippi replied. “Let me handle things, Kamex.” Then he lifted up his fingers.

“That’s good,” said Rex, “because I’m afraid those people took almost all of my strength out of me when they called me a bad Trainer.”

“It’s okay, man.” Pippi started waving his fingers to prepare for a Metronome attack.

“HURRY, THEY’RE GAINING!” Kamex warned Pippi.

“I’m hurrying, I’m hurrying!” Pippi began to wave faster, but it was awfully hard to run real fast while waving his fingers quickly. He tripped. On a rock. Wow.

“Pippi!?” Kamex went.

“EYAAAAAAAAH!” Pippi shouted as he fell. Now this messed his timing up, and so when he fell, he faced Rex Kamex’s face, directly. “OH NO!” Pippi went.

Then the attack came.

“WOO AAH WOO AHH WAAAAAAAH GAAH GAAH MEEE GOOO GAAAH!” Pippi shouted, randomly, as he started shaking violently and moving his feet in quick patterns.

“WHAT THE BARNICLE ARE YOU DOING, LITTLE MAN?” Rex shouted.

“I’m doing some kind of weird dance!” shouted Pippi, who now started beating his chest rapidly while doing tap-dancing with his feet.

TAPETY TAP TAP!

Suddenly, the nearly clear sky started getting covered by clouds that seem to have come from out of nowhere! And out of those clouds came… rain! That’s when Pippi knew what he was doing.

“I’m doing the Rain Dance!” shouted Pippi, dancing still.

“The Rain Dance!? But why?” shouted the confused Kamex.

“Because, I’m doing the Metronome, remember?” Pippi shouted.

The rain put out the fires on the torches, and so the crowd of people stopped running.

“Now what do we do?” asked a member of the mob.

“I know! Let’s all join the Rain Dance dance!” Officer Junsa suggested.

So, all of the humans began to make fools out of themselves by dancing their foolish hearts out. Meanwhile, Rex the Kamex realized that now was the time to defeat the humans once and for all! The rain from the Rain Dance attack powers up attacks of the water type, so Rex decided to use a Hydro Cannon on the people.

“HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” he went, and out water from his cannons soared, soaking the dancing people completely.

“Well that’s a relief,” Pippi said, stopping his dancing, “but what should we do now?”

“Hey, I know a guy whose house we can stay in for the night!” Rex said. “We can stay in the house of the person that I was gonna call, anyway!”

“Great!” said Pippi, who couldn’t stop smiling from the good news.

Rex pointed in the direction of his friend’s house. It was located inside a gigantic garden that was conveniently located in their direction. With the people from the Pokemon Center out of the picture, the two Pokemon could just take their time to this person’s house.

“That,” Rex told Pippi, “is the location of the house belonging to my friend, Fushigibana.”

“Fushigibana!?” Pippi exclaimed. (Fushigibana- Venusaur)

“That’s right,” said the gigantic turtle. “Fushigibana is a grass-type Pokemon, and it can absorb the water from my house using his Giga Drain attack. It’ll restore some of his health, anyway, so it’ll help him as well as us.”

“All right then,” said Pippi. “Let’s go!”

So Rex and Pippi went through the garden to get to Fushigibana’s house. There were flowers of all the colors of the rainbow.

“Y’ know,” said Pippi, “if it weren’t for the fact that I don’t have a nose I would be sneezing on account of this here pollen.”

“Then how do you breathe?” asked Rex to the nose-less Pokemon. “Oh right. You use your mouth. That’s nice.”

They finally came to an enormous tree. Or was it a flower? It was sort of hard to tell. You see, it was a very green and tall plant structure, having many qualities of a tree and flower. Let’s call it a treewer house.

Rex rang the pink doorbell that was next to the yellow door. “Who goes there?” asked the male voice of a Mexican accent.

“It’s Rex Kamex,” said Rex, “with a friend here with me. His name is Pippi.”

“Pippi, huh?” said the voice. “All right, come in.”

A big, green Pokemon opened the door. Actually, it was rather blue, only it was a lighter blue than the blue of Rex’s skin. It was a dinosaur-like Pokemon with an enormous, pink and green flower on it. It walked on four legs. This was Fushigibana.

“Welcome to my house, Pippi,” said Fusigibana. “Long time no see, Rexinator!”

“Rexinator!?” Pippi said, confused.

“It’s just a little name my friends gave me,” said Rex, blushing.

“So,” said Fushigibana, “what brings you to this neck of the woods?”

“It’s a garden,” reminded Rex.

“Oh yeah.”

“We,” said Pippi, “need your assistance. We need you to drain the water out of Rex’s house, and we want to spend the night here. See, we got in a fight with a Digda, and-“

“Still having troubles with that Digda, huh, Rex?” Fushigibana said.

“Same old, same old, I’m afraid,” said Rex, sighing.

"Oh well," said the plant Pokemon, Fushigibana. He sighed as well. "Rex, remember the time that you first met that Digda?"

"Yes," said Rex. "I know. I already told Pippi here the story."

"Yup, I heard it!" Pippi exclaimed.

"But let's go to your house," Fushigibana continued.

"OKAY THEN!" shouted the other two Pokemon.

Therefore, the three Pokemon set off in the rain to fix the house problem.

"How are we gonna get the Fushigibana to get down to your house?" Pippi wondered aloud.

Rex sighed, once again. "Once again," he said, "he's gonna absorb the water."

"But that's just to take the water out of the house," said Pippi.

"No, he means I'm going to absorb all the lakewater," Fushigibana explained.

"Oh."

"Here goes absolutely nothing," said Fushigibana, as he started using his Giga Drain attack, absorbing all of the water from the lake.

It took several minutes, but finally, the Pokemon had finished absorbing all of the water.

“Now,” said the Kamex, “I can open the door to my house and let all the water out. We can use my Suck-The-Water-Out-Of-A-Body-Of-Water 3000 to suck that up.”

“I don’t get it, how come we didn’t just use that machine the first time?” Pippi asked, confused.

“Yeah, why didn’t we?” Fushigibana wondered.

“Hey, the fine print on my 3000 says that it’ll only suck so much,” Rex responded. “Do you really think it could suck all the water out of the lake and my house combined?”

“It did the first time,” said Pippi, “since the water in your house was originally from the lake.”

“Oh… true…” Rex slowly said.

(Silence……………………………………….)

“OH WELL!” said Rex Kamex. “NOW THAT YOU’RE HERE, THANK YOU, BANA BANA!”

“You’re quite welcome,” said the Fushigibana.

“Bana Bana!?” said the puzzled Pippi. “You’re name is Bana Bana?”

“That’s my nickname, Pippi,” said the Fushigibana. “My real name is Gardner, but back when I was a Fushigidane (Bulbasaur), my friends used to call me Dane Dane. Now that I’ve evolved, I’m called this. So what’s it to ya’?”

“Hey, what did you expect?” Pippi said. “You don’t run into people named Bana Bana every single day, you know.”

“True,” said Bana Bana.

So Bana Bana the Fushigibana went to the bottom of the lake area that was once filled with water. He opened the door and all the water fell out of the house. He used his Giga Drain attack on it and absorbed all the water.

“But how will we refill the lake?” Pippi asked.

“Well, we can’t just get it out of the Fushigibana,” said Rex. “I’ll just have to use my Hydro Cannon on the lake.”

“It’ll take forever to refill the entire lake with a Hydro Cannon,” mentioned Bana Bana. “Let me think of a solution. I know! The floodwaters can refill this dry lake.”

“What floodwaters?” Rex replied. “Pippi’s Rain Dance attack will not be in effect for much longer. The storm is going to end real soon.”

“Is that right?” said Bana Bana. “Well then, Pippi, do you think you can do another Rain Dance attack with your Metronome?”

“Nope,” said Pippi. “I forgot how to do the dance.”

Just then, as the rain lifted, all of the soaking people came back and continued to do the Rain Dance dance. Since this isn’t a human attack, none of the dancing would make it rain again. But, since the humans were dancing the right way, Pippi remembered what to do, and so he started dancing correctly.

“I feel like an idiot,” he said, “because the first time I did this I couldn’t help it. But now that I can, I feel stupid.”

“Stupid, huh?” said Rex, looking at the idiotic humans dancing their hearts out like they’ve had too much sugar.

“Yeah, I’m just not in the mood to do it now. See? I can’t even say anything in the right mood anymore. Listen. Aroogaah moogah bloogah… man, what am I saying?” Pippi continued dancing like the idiot that he was. (Actually, he wasn’t an idiot, but oh well.)

“Well, maybe you should try using your Metronome to feel the right mood,” Bana Bana suggested.

“Okay,” said Pippi. “I’ll do that.”

He waved his fingers and then-

BOOM!

Pippi exploded, just like in the first chapter! The Explosion attack blew Rex and Bana Bana away, but the humans were so far away, they could only watch the attack.

“What was that?” asked one of them, who stopped dancing.

“A BOMB!” shouted Officer Junsa. “IT’S THE START OF A NUCLEAR WAR! EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

So, everybody did as they were told, and they ran for their lives.

Man, I have got to stop using Explosion, thought Pippi.

Elsewhere, Digda was staying up all night, preparing for the big challenge against Rex in the Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento. Little did he know, Rex had something else in mind for the Toonamento…

Morning came. Rex had never filled up his lake. Neither Rex, nor Bana Bana, nor Pippi, sleep that night. Since Digda was training, he didn’t sleep either. But, it seemed like Digda was the only one of the four Pokemon who wasn’t tired.

However, Pippi did end up sleeping in the morning, forgetting about the Toonamento. He had to hurry and sign the comedian list fast, because only 20 Pokemon could sign the list, and already the list had five names. Pippi did manage to sleep, unintentionally, in the field of Max Revival gas, and so he woke up, still unaware of what day it was, or that twelve more Pokemon were already in line to sign the comedian list…

Oh well! Find out what happens next time, in the next Pokiman chapter! (Don’t worry, the next chapter will be funnier than this one, guaranteed.)

**Rex Kamex** · 28th March 2005, 11:32 PM

I don’t know how many of you people are reading the “previously” sections at the beginnings of the chapters. But oh well…

Last time, you remember, Pippi and Rex Kamex went to Bana Bana Fushigibana for help on absorbing all of the water from Rex Kamex’s lake. But when Pippi decided to gamble using a powerful Rain Dance attack to fill up the lake, Pippi exploded! And while all the humans nearby assumed it was the start of a nuclear war, Rex and Bana Bana got thrown by the blast. Meanwhile, Pippi was so tired from that last night that he began to oversleep, so he overslept through the morning of the Toonamento. So when Pippi finally woke up…

Chapter 7- “The Almost Complete Comedian Sign Up List! Hurry Pippi!”

Pippi yawned. Then he yawned again. Then he yawned again, and then he yawned one more time. It was the morning of the Toonamento, and he did not know it yet.

“Man… what a lovely dream… I met a female Pippi…”

He stood up. Then he stretched. This is boring, isn’t it? So Pippi walked around, noticing that he was in the field of Max Revival Gas. He then remembered that this was called the revival field.

“Hey? Where’s Rex Kamex? And where’s that Fushigibana?” he asked.

He looked around everywhere.

“HEY KAMEX! FUSHIGIBANA! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS!?” he called out.

But there was no response.

Pippi sighed. Then he smiled. “Maybe they went bowling or something,” he said.

“Bowling?! Nah, no one would go bowling today.”

Pippi turned around to see a mother Kireihana (Bellossom) in the field. “Hey, ma’am,” Pippi said. “Why not?”

Kireihana continued. “Because, today is the big day, young Pippi. You know why.”

“The big day?!” Pippi exclaimed, instantly loosing his tiredness. “Do you mean the day of the Poketto Monsutaa Batoru Toonamento!?!?!?”

“Oh, goodness, no,” said the Kireihana.

Pippi sighed in relief. “Oh, thank goodness.”

“But there is the Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento that is today,” the Kireihana mentioned.

“Ohhhhh…” said Pippi. “Okay…” He paused.

(Silence…)

Then he went, “WHAT!?!?!?”

“What?” said the Kireihana, straightening her glasses.

“I’M SUPPOSED TO SIGN UP TO BE A COMEDIAN TODAY!” said Pippi, holding his head in frustration. (Not the attack, mind you. *_*)

“Well you’d better hurry,” the Kireihana said.

“I gotta go! GOOD-BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE!” shouted the Pippi, as he ran off.

Kireihana just watched. “And there’s no such things as the Poketto Monsutaa Batoru Toonamento without the Suupaa,” she said, staring.

Pippi ran as fast as his little legs could take him. Unfortunately, there were now 17 names on the Comedian List, and there were two more Pokemon that were in the line to sign up.

“GOTTA MAKE IT! GOTTA MAKE IT! GOTTA MAKE IT! GOTTA MAKE IT!” shouted the desperate Pippi, running for his comedian life. (No, seriously, he was running for that particular life! Who knew?)

A Wanriki (Machop) signed the comedian list.

“GOTTA MAKE IT! GOTTA MAKE IT! GOTTA MAKE IT!”

A Ruujura (Jynx) signed the list.

“GOTTA MAKE IT! GOTTA MAKE IT!”

The two Pokemon high-fived each other and set off for seats for the Toonamento.

“GOOOOTTAAAA MAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!” shouted Pippi. “AHA! FINALLY!”

He managed to get to a big blue stadium that was so big, it was weird how there never was a single human that noticed it.

“OUTTA MY WAY!” shouted Pippi, blowing away all of the Pokemon that were unlucky enough to be in his path.

Meanwhile, Rex and Bana Bana had started looking for Pippi. Rex actually signed the comedian list a few minutes after he got blown away by Pippi’s Explosion attack, for the two starter Pokemon had ended up in the very stadium of the Suupaa Batoru Toonamento!

“MOVE AWAY!” shouted Pippi, running into Pokemon after Pokemon, until finally, he got to the list.

Now there were two clipboards. One was the battling list, and one was the comedy list. They were at a booth.

“GIMME THAT THING!” shouted Pippi, snatching the permanent pen and the clipboard of the list from the hand of another Ruujura that was actually one of the members in charge of sponsoring the Toonamento. Then, he quickly wrote his name and finished signing the list.

Now, his name would permanently be in this list, and there was no thinking about signing the other one. Pippi still rushed as he ran off into the actual stadium, for the sign up booth was actually at the outside of the stadium.

Then he found the Kamex and Fushigibana in the seats of the audience, looking for Pippi. “HEY GUYS,” he said, “IT’S ME! THE PIPPI! THE PIPPI!”

Bana Bana and Rex turned around to see the fairy Pokemon waving his hands. They were proud to see the Pokemon running up to them.

“Hey, little man, we saved you a seat!” said the Kamex.

“But we were looking for him, not staying here,” Bana Bana reminded Rex.

“Oh right,” said Rex Kamex.

(Silence again……………………)

Pippi finally reached his friends.

“So you came to watch the battles?” Rex asked. “We were actually looking for you!”

“Yes, I did come to watch the battles, and to look for you,” Pippi answered.

Rex grinned. “Well then, Pippi, get comfortable. I’ll go get us all some popcorn for each of us.”

“Extra butter on mine, please,” said Bana Bana, as Rex started to go off.

“Actually, I’ll wait until they show the names of all the Pokemon participating in the Toonamento,” said Rex.

“Okay then,” said Pippi.

Conveniently after the fairy said this, the final and 128th person signed the list.

The Ruujura, also known as Ruu-sama, noticed this, and then she went up to a microphone and said, “We now have all the participants for the Toonamento. We have all 128 battlers and all 20 comedians. Now let us present who will battle who in the preliminary rounds.”

On a giant TV screen, there showed the 128 battling Pokemon. Digda was one of them of course. Just then, Digda arrived.

“Hah,” he said, looking at Rex the Kamex. “Prepare to lose, buddy.”

“But I didn’t sign the battling list,” Rex said. “I signed the comedian one.”

If Digda had a mouth, he would’ve dropped it wide open. (How does he talk, though?) “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SIGNED THE COMEDIAN LIST? WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BATTLE EACH OTHER IN THE TOONAMENTO! Remember?”

“Yeah, but I beat you many times before,” said Rex, “and I’d do it again, too, but just not now, because I’d want to entertain everybody with comedy.”

“DARN IT! WELL THAN I’LL JUST BEAT THAT PIPPI!” said the Digda.

“Pippi isn’t participating in the battling, either,” said Rex.

“DOUBLE DARN!” shouted the angry Digda.

Meanwhile, Pippi was looking at the list. He read,

Digda the Digda VS Bobby the Boober (Magmar),

Ken the Kentauros VS Harriet the Koiking (Magikarp, remember?),

Gordon the Golone VS Steve the Laplace (Lapras), and

“GASP!” went Pippi. “PIPPI THE PIPPI VS DAWGASU THE DOGASU (Koffing)!?!?!?”

Rex, Bana Bana, and Digda looked up at the screen.

“Well what do you know?” said Pippi. “Some other Pippi signed up in some kind of event just like me!”

“But there isn’t another Pippi in sight,” said the Fushigibana, Bana Bana.

Pippi froze. Then he unfroze and ran over to the two lists as fast as he can. He turned white as a sheet when he saw his name on the battling list, but not a single “Pippi” on the comedian one! He then tried erasing his writing with the permanent pen’s eraser, but it didn’t work. (Why there is an eraser on a permanent pen I will never know.)

He then ran all the way back to the three Pokemon. He looked at them in horror as he shouted something terrible.

“I SIGNED THE WRONG LIST!”

Oh well! Find out what happens next in the next chapter of “Pokiman”!

(Please review some more, somebody.)

**Rex Kamex** · 31st March 2005, 11:40 PM

Before reading this, make sure you've read all seven chapters. That way you won't be missing anything. For those of you who have read all that, here's the next chapter...

Last time, you remember, Pippi signed the wrong list to the Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento with a permanent pen, and so he couldn’t erase his writing. He had no choice but to battle in the Toonamento instead of telling jokes as a comedian. His first opponent in the Toonamento was Dawgasu the Dogasu (the Koffing!), which was for the preliminary round of the Toonamento. Rex did manage to sign the comedian list, which brought disappointment to Digda, for Digda had wanted to challenge Rex in a battle. Let’s see what happens next… today! (You’re not going anywhere, are you?)

Chapter 8- “The Preliminary Round Battles! Pippi VS Dawgasu! (Part One)”

Pippi began holding his head while screaming running around in circles.

“AAAAAAUGH! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” he screamed, still running. “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”

The other three Pokemon were just looking at him.

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”

Digda was just laughing at him.

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”

“You want I should slap him upside the head to snap him out of that state?” Bana Bana asked Rex, who was just staring at Pippi.

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO!” Pippi exclaimed.

“Who is this Dawgasu the Dogasu that you will be facing, anyway?” said Digda, puzzled.

“Uh, I don’t know,” said Pippi, “but I refuse to battle him!”

“Sorry, Pippi, but you can’t refuse,” told Rex.

Pippi sighed. “Yeah, I know, because I can’t change my mind once I write it down on the list.”

“No,” said the Kamex. “Actually, yes, but also, you can’t forfeit any matches. You have to battle to the end. Ask that Ruujura over there. She’ll tell you the same thing.”

Pippi looked at the Ruujura straightening her glasses once again. “You think that Pokemon will take bribes?” he asked Rex.

“BRIBES?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Digda couldn’t help but laugh at this Pokemon’s question.

Pippi sighed. There was nothing he could do. Unless…

“Hey, maybe if I run away, they won’t catch me, and so they wouldn’t force me to battle!” suggested Pippi.

“You can run, but you can’t hide!” said Digda. “For as soon as you sign that paper saying you want to battle, a flying hidden camera will come and track you down. You can’t escape your doom!” Then Digda stopped and thought for a moment. “But I do hope you make it to the final round. That’s where I’ll be waiting. If you don’t make it before then, hopefully, that’s because I’d beat you first.”

“Darn,” said Pippi.

“Well, gotta go!” said Digda. “I’ve got a Boober to defeat!”

Then Digda burrowed underground and was gone.

Pippi grew frightened again. “JEEPERS!” he said. “Now who is this Dawgasu I have to face.”

“I’m Dawgasu,” said a voice. “Whassup, dawgs?”

Pippi, Rex, and Bana Bana turned around to see a little purple floating Pokemon that was called a Dogasu. This Dogasu, named Dawgasu, was a puffy ball-like creature; only it was the ball of an imperfect sphere. Smoke kept shooting out of his pores, and there was a symbol similar to a skull and crossbones at the bottom of his body. He was named Dawgasu because he was a former rapper.

“Well… you must be Pippi,” Dawgasu said. “It’s nice to see you again, Dawg.”

“Again?!” said Pippi.

“Yup, the first time I saw you was on the TV screen,” explained Dawgasu.

“Oh,” said Pippi.

“Anyway… we’ll battle last, so get ready to lose!” said Dawgasu, as he floated away.

“I’m doomed,” said Pippi, “plain and simple.”

“We’ll pray for you,” said Rex.

“Thanks, Rex,” said Pippi.

“Now let’s look at the battling rules,” said the Kamex, as he got out a brochure that advertised the Toonamento. In one section were the battling rules. This is what the brochure said:

“THE OFFICIAL POKETTO MONSUTAA SUUPAA BATORU TOONAMENTO RULES:

1. ONLY POKEMON WHO SIGNED UP TO BATTLE CAN PARTICIPATE IN BATTLING.

2. BATTLERS CANNOT PARTICIPATE IN BEING COMEDIANS EXCEPT UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES…

3. NO LEGENDARY POKEMON ARE ALLOWED TO BATTLE.

4. IF YOU USE AN ATTACK THAT WILL CAUSE YOUR OPPONENT TO FAINT, BUT WILL ALSO CAUSE YOU TO FAINT, YOU WILL LOSE THE MATCH.

5. HELD ITEMS ARE ALLOWED.

6. FORFIETING IS NOT ALLOWED.

7. THE AUDIENCE CAN YAY AND BOO ALL THEY WANT TO.

8. STALLING IS NOT ALLOWED, BUT IT WILL NOT DISQUALIFY YOU, SO THIS RULE IS BASICALLY POINTLESS.

9. SHOW UP AT THE DESIGNATED TIME TO PARTICIPATE IN BATTLE. IF YOU DO NOT, THE HIDDEN CAMERA WILL FIND YOU AND GRAB YOU. SORRY!

10. POKEMON PARTICIPATING IN BATTLE CANNOT EAT IN A MATCH.

11. BASICALLY ANY ATTACK IS AVAILIBALE FOR USE AS LONG AS YOU DON’T END UP FAINTING.

12. NO HUMANS ARE ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE.

THIS HAS BEEN THE END OF THE OFFICIAL SOUNDING RULES OF THE TOONAMENTO.”

“Oh…” said Pippi, “so I can’t leave. I’m doomed! I’m gonna die!”

“You’re not gonna die, Pippi,” Kamex said to Pippi.

“But there isn’t any rule against killing your opponent,” mentioned Bana Bana.

“I’m doomed…” Pippi repeated to himself, just as the first Pokemon started battling each other.

There were two Pokemon on each side of a big cage-like room at the stadium field that was made of glass. It was basically in the shape of a rectangular pyramid.

“IN THIS CORNER,” said the referee, which was a Barrierd (Mr. Mime), “WEIGHING 155 POUNDS, WE HAVE MIGHTY MIKEY THE GORIKIE (Machoke)!” He pointed over to a big, blue, muscular Pokemon that looked similar to a human. He had a red bandana, and to his eye-patch On his left hand, he had a tattoo that had “MOMMY” on it.

The Pokemon audience cheered.

“GET READY TO RUMBLE!” Mighty Mikey shouted, turning his hands into fists, and then spitting.

“…AND IN THIS CORNER,” continued the Barrierd referee, pointing in the other direction, “WEIGHING 158 POUNDS, WE HAVE OLD GRUMPY GRUMPIG THE BUPIGGU (Grumpig)!”

The crowd cheered once again, and Grumpy Grumpig glared at the Gorikie.

“YOU GET READY TO RUMBLE AND LOSE,” said Grumpy.

“NOW…” said the Barrierd, “BEGIN!”

“YAAAAAAAAAAAH!” went Mighty Mikey Gorikie charging up to Grumpy Grumpig.

“YAAAAAAAAAAAH!” went Grumpy Grumpig charging up to Mighty Mikey Gorikie.

The two Pokemon fought each other, creating an anime dust cloud. All of the Pokemon were cheering. Some were crying, “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”

One Pokemon from the audience, who was named Hansel Dicolo the Hasumo (Lotad), said, “Man! This is one exciting battle!”

“You said it, Hansel,” said Gretel Dicolo the girl Hasumo.

“Well I’m glad you like it, kids,” said the father Dicolo, a Hasumodero (Lombre) with a moustache. Then he smiled at his wife, another Hasumodero.

Lou Dicolo*, the grandfather of the two kids, who was a Runpapa (Ludicolo), had another opinion of the battle.

“They don’t make Pokemon battles like they used to,” he said. “Why, back in my day, I used to battle Pokemon that were fifteen power levels than the one I had at the time. Back in the day, Pokemon battles were actually battles, not some play-fighting full of Poke-punks full of only talk that couldn’t even battle their way out of a paper bag that had a hole in it!”

(*I got Lou Dicolo’s name, not only from Ludicolo, but from “Grandpa Lou” from “Rugrats”, who always used the number “fifteen” whenever he described something from back in his day.)

“Oh Grandpa,” said Gretel.

“And anyway,” he said, “even in this Toonamento thingy that you young folks have, there still isn’t a worthy battle to see. The only reason I came here to this dump was because I was bored. And, I’m still bored.”

Meanwhile, Pippi was watching the battle with great fear in his eyes. He could hear his heart beating like a giant drum being pounded upon by, well, a giant.

“I’M SCARED…” Pippi said.

Finally though, Grumpy won the match.

“AND THE WINNER OF THE MATCH IS… GRUMPYYYYYYY!” the ref shouted, causing everyone except Pippi to cheer. Pippi was frightened, because Mikey had a black eye in the other eye that Mikey didn’t have an eye patch on. Machoke was full of severe scratches, his quantity of teeth was reduced by half, and even though Grumpy Grumpig won the match, he still had severe scars, and he basically had only 1 HP left.

“I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die…” Pippi exclaimed.

“Yes you are, Pippi,” said Dawgasu, who came back. “Well, maybe not die, but…”

“SHUT UP, PUNK!” shouted the Kamex.

“YOU SHUT UP, DAWG!” said Dawgasu.

“Oh, just wait till our match, Pippi,” Dawgasu said. “Then you’ll wish that I continued rapping instead of beginning to battle.”

Now Pippi was white as a sheet, biting his fingernails. (Wait, do Pippis have fingernails?)

The battles went on. Digda thrashed the fire-type Boober with an Earthquake attack, Gordon managed to defeat the water-type Laplace, even though Laplace had an advantage. But there was something strange about the battle before that. It was something that Pippi just could not believe.

“BEGIN THE MATCH!” shouted the referee to Ken the Kentauros and Harriet the Koiking (Magikarp- I’m not gonna say it again). They began to duke it out in the stadium glass room.

“You’re gonna be easy to beat. FWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” went Ken, charging up to the Koiking. Now Koiking was a fish that could only Splash around, use a Tackle attack, or use a Flail attack. Ken jumped into the air to pounce on Harriet the Koiking, but the Koiking fish flopped away!

BAM!

Ken hit the ground face first.

The crowd, who was cheering for Ken, naturally, since Harriet was the underdog, gasped.

“I’M GONNA WIN THIS ONE FOR EVERYBODY WHO ACTUALLY THINKS THAT KOIKINGS HAVE USE IN THIS WORLD!” shouted Harriet. Then it slapped Ken with it’s tail.

“WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!” went everybody.

WHAM! KICK! POW! Where did Koiking get that kind of power? It was beating the stuffing out of Ken! (You see, Ken had stuffing for dinner during the previous night and all, and it hadn’t all been digested yet.)

“SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE- OOF!” shouted Ken, as he got hit in the head by a Tackle attack.

This caused the audience crowd to stop laughing at Ken. Well, almost everybody laughed at him. Pippi was the only person who was nervous.

“Even the Koikings are powerful!” said Pippi to himself, watching the horrifying battle.

“GYAH! BWOOF! MWAUGH!” went Ken. “MERCY! MERCY!” The audience continued to laugh as they watched the poor bull Pokemon begging for mercy.

“THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR UNDERESTIMATING ME!” shouted Harriet, using a Flail attack as a finishing blow.

The fish used her attack on the begging bull.

WHAM!

And he’s down!

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAY!” went the crowd, changing sides. “KOIKING! KOIKING! KOIKING!”
Meanwhile, Ken managed to get up, as the referee and his buddy Barrierds came along and grabbed him to take him out of the stadium.

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” went the crowd as soon as Kenny, who was crying by the way, was being carried out. Meanwhile as Harriet was doing a victory Splash, the audience started throwing tomatoes, which they got from out of nowhere, at Ken. The Barrierds used their Barrier attacks to shield themselves against the fruits. (Yes, they are fruits. End of story.) The barriers were on only one side of each of the Barrierds, and so it was still easy to hold Ken on their other sides.

“ISN’T THIS GREAT, PIPPI?” said Rex Kamex, shaking his fist and his popcorn. (He got it sometime between the other battles.)

“And you’re next, little man,” said Bana Bana. “Of course, I’d participate but I feel too old for this.”

“Is there an age limit?” asked the excited Pippi. “If there is, maybe I’m too old for this tournament!”

“There’s none I know of,” said Rex.

“Maybe if I act real old, they won’t let me participate!” suggested Pippi. Then he got out a beard from out of nowhere and said, “Hey, all you whippersnappers. I’m Pippi, an old, old, o~ld fairy.”

“Nice try, dude,” said Rex the Kamex.

“AND NOW FOR THE FINAL BATTLE OF THE PRELIMINARIES!” shouted the referee Barrierd. “IT’S PIPPI THE PIPPI VS DAWGASU THE DAWGASU!”

“[Gulp.] That’s me…” said the nervous Pippi.

“Well, get up there,” said the Kamex. “You have no choice. Don’t worry about it!”

“You can do it, Pippi!” said Bana Bana.

“Beat that Dogasu!” cried Digda, who was nearby. “I know you can do it!”

“Gee, thanks, Digda,” said Pippi.

“YOU BETTER DO IT,” said Digda, “OR I’LL MAKE YA’! NOBODY BEATS YOU EXCEPT ME! YOU GOT THAT? GOOD!”

“Sigh…” went Pippi.

There was no turning back now. Pippi had to face his fear in the Toonamento. (Man, I feel sorry for that loser. WAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I’m done.) He went into the stadium glass box room thingy, where the Dogasu was waiting.

“IF I WIN THIS,” yelled the floating purple Pokemon, “THEN I WILL SING A VICTORY RAP! GOOD LUCK, DAWG. YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT, DAWG. DAWG.”

Pippi was doomed.

“IN THIS CORNER,” said the ref, “WE HAVE, WEIGHING EXACTLY TWO POUNDS, WE HAVE A DOGASU NAMED DAWGASUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”

Practically the whole crowd cheered. When the crowd silenced, everyone could hear Rex go, “Booooooooooooooooooooooooooo~ooooooo!” Everybody paused and looked at him. “What?” he said. “Can’t a guy state his own opinion just like you guys?”

Pippi braced himself for the worst as the referee said in a bored tone, “… and here we have some Pippi.”

(Crickets chirping.)

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!” went Rex and Bana Bana. The crowd looked at them, and somebody threw a tomato at Rex’s face. >SPLAT!<

“NOW… BEGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!” went the ref.

Pippi turned white as a sheet again.

“GUESS WHAT, DAWGS?” said the Dogasu to the audience. “I’M GONNA EXPLODE WITHOUT MAKING MYSELF LOSE MY ENTIRE HP!”

“What?” said Rex. “But you can’t do that!”

“Yes I can,” said Dawgasu, who somehow heard him over the loud crowd. (Hey, loud crowd! Awesome! I made a rhyme! Cool, dudes!) “Just watch me!”

He then started to grow bigger, like balloon. Pippi was so terrified he couldn’t move. He was doomed.

“Good-bye, cruel world,” was Pippi’s only statement.

“I SHALL EXPLODE IN TEN SECONDS,” said the Dogasu, giggling.

Pippi began to wave his fingers, hoping that something good would happen.

He was wrong.

Actually, I don’t know yet.

“What will I get?” he said.

“Five seconds left,” said the expanding Pokemon.

Five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Find out what happens next time in the next chapter of “Pokiman”!

(Please review quickly.)

**Supernerd** · 1st April 2005, 1:34 AM

I should have posted this earlier, and how on earth could a Koffing explode without killing itself? Wait a second... you never said that he actually used Explosion or Self-Destruct... anyway, nice chapters! There were a few random spelling errors but your humor covered them up again, keep it up!

**Rex Kamex** · 1st April 2005, 3:12 AM

Originally Posted by Supernerd

I should have posted this earlier, and how on earth could a Koffing explode without killing itself?

That's the mystery... although I don't think this will really work in the games.

Anyway, I'll be out of town from Friday to Sunday, so don't expect any new chapters until at least Sunday. (And don't think this is an April Fools Joke.)

EDIT: I'M BACK!

(Originally, I was gonna make Dawgasu hold a Focus Band. But then I decided on something else that would save him from his Explosion.

Last time, in the story, during the Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento preliminaries, Digda beat his opponent, Golone beat his opponent, Ken failed to beat his underestimated opponent, and now it was Pippi's turn to face the power of the Dogasu known as former rap artist known as Dawgasu, who claimed that he could explode without losing all of his power! What was he going to do? Let's find out... today!

Chapter 9- "The Preliminary Battles! Pippi VS Dawgasu! (Part Two)"

The blast broke through the stadium glass, causing lots of wind to force itself on the Pokemon audience.

“WHOA!” shouted the Kamex, who, with Bana Bana, got blown away by the blast. “THIS IS JUST LIKE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN PIPPI EXPLODED! ONLY IT’S EVEN MORE POWERFUL!”

“YEAH, IF WE DON’T DO SOMETHING, WE’RE DOOMED!” Bana Bana answered.

“I THINK WE’RE TOO LATE!” shouted Rex. “WE’RE ALREADY SKY HIGH! HEY WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT HAPPENED TO PIPPI???”

“I DON’T KNOW!” shouted Bana Bana.

So they and all the other Pokemon got blasted out of the stadium.

“Isn’t this fun, Grandpa?” said Gretel Dicolo.

“Back in my day, we always got blasted off higher than this,” said Lou Dicolo.

Only the referee Barrierd and his other Barrierd friends managed to shield themselves with their Barrier attacks. The ruined stadium room was filled with an endless amount of smoke. The glass actually broke from the enormous blast. So now, all the glass was on the ground. The smoke cleared. Pippi couldn’t believe his eyes. There, in the center of the stadium, was Dawgasu, perfectly harmless.

But what happened to Pippi, anyway? Well let me tell you. I said that he couldn’t believe his eyes. You see… Pippi was the only Pokemon in the entire stadium that used… Protect! Now that Protect attack saved him from the Explossion that Dawgasu caused.

“What?” said Dawgasu. “How did that happen? How did Pippi survive the TN- I mean Explosion attack I just caused?”

He began sweating as Pippi sighed in relief.

“Hey… I’m alive!” Pippi said.

“Well of course you’re alive, you idiot dawg!” said Dawgasu. “You don’t die here, you just get badly hurt. There!”

“And it looks like they’re both standing!” said the referee. “Let the battle continue!”

Suddenly, Pippi turned mad. “You’re gonna get it for scaring me like that!”

Dawgasu got mad too. “Oh, really, Dawg?”

“Yesiree, Dawg, uh, I mean, Dude,” Pippi replied. Then he charged up to Pippi. Well folks, this sure can’t be the Pippi I’ve been talking about in the last chapter. Oh well.

“PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MATCH, DAWG!” shouted Dawgasu the Dogasu, charging up to Pippi.

“TAKE THIS!” yelled Pippi, Mega Punching Dawgasu in the face, pushing the Dogasu back.

“OW, THAT HURT, DAWG!” said Dawgasu.

“Well, duh, of course it hurts,” said Pippi, “AND STOP CALLING ME DAWG!”

He then started waving his fingers for another Metronome. Because Dawgasu was worried that Pippi would use an attack to defeat him, he decided to take action, by causing another Explosion.

Pippi was still waving. “I CAN FEEL IT!” he said. “IT’S GONNA BE POWERFUL! I CAN FEEL THE ENERGY SURGING THROUGH ME! AHA! GET A LOAD OF THIS!” Pippi shouted, sending out none other than… a Bubble attack!? A little bubble came and hit Dawgasu right in the face. Unfortunately for Pippi, it only caused 1 HP worth of damage to the former rapper Pokemon.

“THAT’S ALL YOU GOT?” the former rapper asked.

“NO,” said Pippi. “STUPID METRONOME!”

Oh yeah, thought the Dogasu, I’ve got to explode. I must use my secret strategy for exploding.

Pippi used yet another Metronome attack, just as Dawgasu used his strategy.

BOOM!

As Dawgasu exploded, more smoke came on the field. The Barrierds once again used their Barrier attacks to shield themselves, but they were still the only ones left. Meanwhile, the other Pokemon who were originally in the audience were still recovering from the “crash landings” that they had experienced.

Luckily for them, the stadium of the Toonamento was only 35 meters away.

“Look, there’s the stadium, Grampa,” said Gretel Dicolo.

“Yeah, and it’s only 34 meters away,” said Hansel Dicolo. (Hey, surely they walked another meter while they were talking, right? Okay then.)

But the old Pokemon sighed. “Back in my day,” he said again, “we had to walk waaaaaaaaaaaaay farther than this.” (Man, this guy is never impressed at anything amazing, huh?)

Anyway, Rex and Bana Bana were unfortunately the Pokemon that were farthest behind from the crowd.

“Y’know,” said the Kamex, “twenty years from now I’m gonna look back at this moment and laugh.”

“But you know,” Bana Bana replied, “twenty more years from that point, you’re gonna look back at the point of time where you laughed so you can laugh again.”

“Why would I do that?” asked Rex.

“Hey, the only reason you’d remember this moment twenty years from now is because you’d blow sky high again, right?” said Bana Bana.

“Not necessarily,” said the Kamex. “I’d stay away from the Toonamento when I’m a senior citizen.”

For some reason, nobody seemed to notice the second giant Explossion that Dawgasu caused. Well, actually, there was one person who noticed, as they felt an Earthquake from the blast from underground. Yes folks, it was Digda. As the first Explosion occurred, Digda burrowed underground like the coward he apparently was. Then, he felt that Explosion’s earthquake blast. He stayed underground anyway, an then he felt the second earthquake from the second boom.

But I suppose you couldn’t care less about those sorts of things and would like to get back on with the battle, right? Well, too bad! No, I’ll get back there if you really want me to.

The smoke finally cleared. Dawgasu survived once more, but this time, Pippi didn’t use Protect… he used Detect!

“MAN DAWG,” said the ticked off Dawgasu. “YOU’RE MAKING ME MAD, BUSTER!”

“Talk to the waving hands, buddy, because the ears don’t wanna hear it!” shouted Pippi, preparing for another Metronome attack by waving his hands. (Man, I’ve got to give this dude more attacks, don’t you think? I was hoping Mega Punch would be a good move to use, but Geez!)

Dawgasu was so angry that smoke was coming out of his body. Finally, the Metronome attack was done! But Dawgasu quickly did yet another Explosion attack! (I’ve got to give Dawgasu more attacks, too!)

BOOM!

The Explossion would’ve wiped out Pippi, but luckily for the fairy Pokemon, the rapper missed.

Of course, it wouldn’t really matter as a voice coming from a stuffed animal said, “Greetings, my friends. My name is Bob, and I am the substitute for the battler called Pippi.”

Well folks, it seems that Pippi used a Substitute attack, where he used quarter of his HP health to make a dummy to protect him from battles. However, when Bob the dummy would lose all of the HP that Pippi gave him, it would burst!

“DARN IT! HE USED A SUBSTITUTE,” said Dawgasu. “COME BACK HERE, PIPPI, YOU COWARDLY DAWG!”

“Gladly,” said Pippi, who came back to the battlefield after leaving the area. His substitute would fight for him, so he could leave now. Then he thought for a moment. Now that there was no more glass in the area, Pippi could stop the battle and run away! This was his chance! “So long, sucker!” he said, as he tried running away, but BAM! He ran into the Barriers of the Barrierds, since they never stopped using Barrier the second time.

“You think you can escape, huh?” said Dawgasu. “You think you can just run away, huh? Well you listen here, Mister I’m-A-Coward-And-I’m-Gonna-Run-Away-From-All-My-Battles-Because-That’s-The-Kind-Of-Chicken-Dawg-I-Am! The world doesn’t work that way! NOW I’M GONNA TEACH YOU A LESSON, YOUNG MAN, SO-“

“Y’know, the only reason I was listening to you was because I was bored,” said Pippi.

“WELL LET ME SEE HOW BORED YOU ARE ABOUT THIS!” shouted Dawgasu. “I’M GONNA EXPLODE AGAIN! AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! SO THERE!”

“Quit the chatter and start the battle!” shouted the referee.

“YEAH, YOU STUPID DORKY LOSER!” shouted Pippi.

Well ,Pippi, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. For Pippi’s comment made Dawgasu scream! Why, he wasn’t in ordinary rage. He was in SUPER RAGE!

“ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!” he shouted. “I AM NOT A LOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!” he screamed so loud that something fell out of his mouth. Wait a minute, it wasn’t one thing… it was more than one thing! They were… red sticks of TNT!?!?!? Great Scott!!!

“Huh?” said Pippi.

“Huh?” said Bob, the substitute dummy.

“OH NO!” shouted Dawgasu.

“What’s this?” said the Barrierd referee.

Just then, the entire audience minus two people arrived at the stadium and saw the end of the match. They saw that there were sticks of TNT on the battlefield, causing them to become confused.

“Wait…” said Pippi. “Where did those come from?”

“Apparently those sticks were from the Dogasu’s mouth,” answered Bob.

“HIS MOUTH!?!?!?” shouted Pippi. “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”

“Yes…” said Dawgasu, frowning. “I guess it is hard to believe that I used these TNT sticks to blow up so I wouldn’t blow up myself. The truth is that I can’t blow up without fainting. In fact, I can’t blow up at all. I don’t know the explosion attacks. I cheated. I’m sorry, Little Dawg.”

“No, I meant that I couldn’t believe that you kept those sticks in your mouth the whole time,” Pippi mentioned.

“Oh.”

“Well,” said Pippi, “that means that you’d be disqualified, right?”

“Yes,” said Dawgasu. “I guess it does.”

“You’ve guessed right!” said the Barrierd referee. “But how’d you manage to get out of the impact of the explosion?”

“Simple,” said Dawgasu. “I just used Protect.”

“Oh well, it doesn’t matter now, I guess,” said the ref. “You lose. It’s over, buddy.”

“NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE, NOW, BUSTER!” shouted Pippi. “I’M NOT GONNA LET YOU GET AWAY WITH SCARING ME HALF TO DEATH WITH YOUR FAKE KABOOM TACTICS! I’M GONNA MAKE YOU FAINT! HRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

As he was yelling he charged up to Dawgasu, beating the stuffing out of him with his Mega Punch and Mega Kick attacks! Soon, Dawgasu lost all of his power, and he had to be taken away by Barrierd’s Barrierd friends, who tool him on a stretcher, which was what eventually happened to Ken Kentauros.

“THE WINNER OF THE BATTLE IS PIPPI!” shouted the referee.

The crowd cheered. Digda cheered, also, because this was one step closer to facing Pippi. Finally, a few seconds afterward, Rex and Bana Bana managed to make it back to the stadium, only to find that the battle was over. They frowned, but when they learned that Pippi won, they smiled again. Hurray for smiling!

Meanwhile, Bob was just about ready to go. He picked up his suitcase (which seemed to have appeared from out of nowhere, since it was never seen before) and walked over to Pippi. “Great battling with you,” said Bob.

“Thanks,” said Pippi.

“That’ll be $50, please,” Bob responded.

Pippi sighed and gave him the money.

“Thank you,” said Bob. “Well, I must be going.”

He picked up his top hat and put it on him, and then he walked over to the Barrierd referee. “Here’s my card,” he said, handing the ref a blue card with a picture of him on it, saying, “BOB THE SUBSTITUTE. SUBBING FOR POKEMON EVERYWHERE! CALL 1800-555-555-555-55555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 55555555556 TO CONTACT THE SUB. OR YOU CAN JUST USE THE ATTACK CALLED SUBSTITUTE. YOU MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO CALL.” Then Bob vanished into thin air with a single poof.

After congratulating Pippi, Rex and Bana Bana prepared for the comedy halftime portion of the Toonamento.

“Hey,” said Pippi, “I thought you said that there would only be a halftime on the fourth and fifth days!”

“They must’ve changed the rules,” said Rex.

“THIS SHALL BE A COMEDIAN TOURNAMENT!” said the Ruujura announcer. “THERE ARE TWENTY PARTICIPANTS. LIKE THE SUUPAA BATORU PRELIMINARIES, THERE WILL BE PRELIMINARIES OF THIS, TOO. WE WILL GIVE EACH PARTICIPANT EXACTLY TWO MINUTES TO PREFORM THEIR MOST FUNNIEST JOKES, AND THE JUDGES SHALL SELECT EIGHT OF THEM TO CONTINEU STAYING IN THE COMEDIAN BUSINESS OF THE TOONAMENTO! THIS MEANS THAT TWELVE OF YOU WILL BE ELIMINATED BEFORE THE ACTUAL SUUPAA BATORU TOONAMENTO EVEN BEGINS! NOW, THESE ARE THE JUDGES. THEY ARE: BARRIERD A, BARRIERD B, AND BARRIERD C!”

The crowd cheered for these Pokemon. Man, it seems like most of the workers are mimes.

“THE COMEDIAN WHO DOES THE BEST JOKES IN THE END WILL WIN THE BESUTO POKETTO MONSUTAA [?]* AWARD TROPHY!”

(* Best Pocket Monster Comedian Award. Could somebody tell me what “COMEDIAN” means in Japanese? I need to replace the "[?]". Thank you.)

The crowd cheered as they saw a big, golden trophy that was 1 yard tall. (Or 1 meter.)

“NOW,” said the Ruujura, “LET THE COMEDY BEGIN! THE FIRST COMEDIAN TO PERFORM IS… A DIGDA NAMED DIGDA!”

Just then, Digda went up to the Comedian stage that’s length was parallel to the stadium, as the crowd cheered. Well, everyone cheered, except for Pippi, Rex, and Bana Bana, who all shouted the same thing.

“WHAT? DIGDA?!”

Man, I bet you didn’t see that coming, now did you? So, what is Digda doing as a comedian? He can’t participate because he is battling, or is he? Find out, next time! (But, if you can’t wait for that, look at the second rule about the Toonamento…)

**Supernerd** · 22nd April 2005, 5:40 PM

TNT! So that's how it happened, clever, MGC, good thinking! Okay, review time.

Grammar was pretty good, I didn't notice any spelling errors but I wasn't look very carefully, desciption wasn't too good, you may want to try to improve and the whole chapter was pretty good, it was very funny, keep up the good work (and sorry for the late review)!

**Rex Kamex** · 26th April 2005, 12:56 AM

Well, I'm back, and I know exactly what you guys are thinking.

"WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME!"

Yes, I know, I know, I haven't updated since the 31st of March, and that was only to edit a chapter into my previous post. I've been very busy with things, including homework, and I've just been too lazy to finish this chapter, until today. I apologize for not updating, but I have finally got a chapter. Also, I'm going to start improving the other chapters of my story eventually, by adding some pictures of the Pokemon and some more description. But, here's the next chapter. Enjoy.

Well, last time, you recall, Pippi had accidentally signed the wrong list to the Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento, causing him to battle against his will. Digda had also volunteered in battling, and so did his pals, Ken and Gordon the Kentauros and Golone. Meanwhile Rex Kamex became a comedian of the Toonamento. He and Bana Bana discovered that Pippi won the match against Dawgasu the Dogasu, as Pippi discovered that Dawgasu could only explode with sticks of TNT! Well, now that the preliminaries were over, it was time for an unexpected comedian halftime, and to make things even more unexpected, there was an unexpected comedian. It was… DIGDA!? What the barnacle? Well, find out what happens next today!

Chapter 10- “The Real Toonamento Begins!”

Bana Bana and Rex, not to mention Pippi, couldn’t believe their eyes as they saw Digda on the stage.

“That’s Digda? Our Digda?” shouted the puzzled Kamex. “The same one we know?”

“But it can’t be,” said Pippi. “It must be another one.”

“You see any other Digda around here?” Bana Bana said, looking around, despite his own rhetorical question. Then he said, “By the way, Rexinator, aren’t you supposed to be up there with the other comedians waiting in a line on the stage?”

He pointed to a part of the stage that was almost completely covered by a red certain. Behind it were some comedian Pokemon that were standing in a line waiting for their turn to get on stage. The Pokemon at the front were the same Wanriki and Ruujura that signed the comedy list before. Anyway, Rex said, “Oh, right! Well guys, I’d better get going. Wish me luck!” And so he went off through the audience and to the stage, saying, "Excuse me, pardon me."

Meanwhile, Digda, who was already telling jokes using a microphone that a Barrierd was holding for him since he had no arms, said, “…and so I said, ‘Hey, at least I’m not fat!’”

The Pokemon audience laughed.

“And now with my last joke,” said Digda. “HEY WAIT! WHAT’S THIS?”

He saw the Kamex getting up to the stage.

“IT’S A KAMEX! This Pokemon reminds me of my last joke, which is about the time I met this Kamex named… Rox Kamox, and later I met his pal Poppi! And Poppi was a big fat pig!”

“Man, Poppi sounds like a familiar character,” said Pippi. “I must’ve bumped into this guy sometime before.”

Bana Bana sighed.

“Man, and this Rox Kamox guy was stuuuuuuuuupid!” continued Digda. “Man, he and his pal Poppi were always living under this lake near my house! We got into a fight, and Poppi was stupid enough to destroy Rox’s house!”

“Hey,” said Pippi, as the audience laughed. “That’s just what happened with me! Man, how come I’ve never noticed this Rox guy or Poppi guy before? Maybe they live in another lake. Have I been missing a lake from nearby?”

“So anyway,” Digda went on, “after we all battled on and Poppi destroyed the house, he and Rox were begging for mercy, and so me and my buds, which helped me battle, left them.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” said Rex Kamex, who was now at the back of the line, after passing Digda, forgetting to ask Digda why he was even there. “Digda… he can’t be talking about... he is!!!”

Meanwhile, Pippi was thinking about what Digda had been saying. “Hey,” he said, “this really is almost like what happened with me and Rex! So he’s just using what happened and made up character Pokemon and a new outcome of the battle.”

“What do you mean?” said Bana Bana.

“Well in our battle, Digda and them all left,” answered Pippi, “but here, Poppi and Rox Kamox surrendered.”

“I see,” said Bana Bana.

“But why did he make my character sound dumb?” asked Pippi.

“Er, you do realize that he’s just insulting you while giving you new names, right?” Bana Bana responded.

“No way,” said Pippi, shocked beyond belief.

“OUT OF MY WAY, PEOPLE!” shouted Rex Kamex, as he pushed through the line of comedians. “WHY DIDN’T I NOTICE HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS BEFORE?”

“And anyway,” Digda said, “my buds and I just laughed and laughed and laughed, and then we laughed some more. And then we-“

“SHUT UP, PUNK!” shouted Rex Kamex. The audience gasped as the big blue turtle grabbed the microphone from the Barrierd to say, “Sorry about that folks, but it looks like it’s my turn now.”

“No it isn’t,” said the Wanriki. “We were here first! You cut in front of us, you big jerk!”

“I couldn’t help but hear this Digda’s story about Rox Kamox, and it reminded me of something that happened with me and a Pokemon named, um, er, Dugda. Yeah, that’s it, his name was Dugda! Anyway, my pal Pippi and I fought Dugda and his pals Ben Bentauros and Jordan Jolone, see? We won the fight, and so the three “stooges” we were fighting got scared and ran away. Man, Dugda was begging for mercy the entire time!”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!” shouted Digda, moving up to the microphone.

But the Kamex moved the microphone away from Digda’s “grasp”, and so Rex said, “HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? WERE YOU THERE?”

Dugda, uh, I mean, Digda, just said, “Oh, please, I know where you got that story from. You got it from me!”

“OH PUH-LEESE,” said the Kamox, um, I mean, Kamex. “Your story made it seem like you were all big and bad.”

“Well you’re just using my story to make up one of your own!” shouted the Digda. “I know it!”

Meanwhile, the Barrierd was trying to get the microphone from Rex, as Rex said, “Man, you only made up the part of the story where you won. It wasn’t you who won that battle. It was ME! Uh, I mean, Rox Kamox!”

“GIMME THAT MICROPHONE!” shouted Digda.

“IN YOUR DREAMS, YOU BRAINLESS BIMBO!” Rex shouted back.

The two Pokemon kept yelling at each other while the Pokemon audience was laughing, not at their jokes, but at their quarreling.

“I ADMIT THAT I WAS JUST USING YOU IN MY STORY,” shouted Digda, “BUT YOU PUT ME IN YOUR STORY USING THE NAME DUGDA! MAN, I DID NOT SURRENDER, I JUST WANTED TO SAVE THE BATTLE FOR LATER!”

“WHICH IS WHAT YOU SHOULD’VE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!” shouted the Kamex.

“I WAS IMPATIENT AT FIRST! BUT NOW I AM PATIENT ABOUT BATTLING YOU HERE, ONLY TO FIND THAT YOU’RE NOT EVEN ABLE TO BATTLE!” Digda was circling through the ground around Rex in a very quick manner.

“What’s all the commotion about?” asked a pink Purin (Jigglypuff) comedian Pokemon who was in around the middle of the comedian line.

“Two of the comedians are having a fight,” answered Rujuura.

“A fight, eh?” said Purin. “If they don’t knock it off, they’re gonna get kicked out of this comedian contest!”

“Yeah, I know,” said Wanriki, “but I don’t care about that. It just easily gets rid of the competition.”

Meanwhile, Rex and Digda were still fighting in front of everybody.

Digda screeched, “GIMME THE FREAKIN’ MICROPHONE, YOU DUNCE!”

“I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?” Rex said, trying to step on the circling Digda, only to experience watching Digda burrow underground at the speed of light.

“IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME THAT MICROPHONE, I’M GONNA ‘BUT WHAT AM I’ YOUR FACE!”

“WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!?!?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” shouted Digda. “BUT YOU DON’T SEE ME COMPLAINING, DO YA’?”

“AND WHAT’S WITH DIGDAS ANYWAY, FOLKS!?!?!?” Rex hollered into the microphone. “THEY HAVE NO ARMS, BUT THEY CAN USE SLASH! WHAT’S UP WITH THAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

“WELL WHAT’S UP WITH KAMEXES, EVERYBODY!?” Digda screamed, trying to get everybody’s attention. “I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS DUDE’S FACE! IF I REALLY WANTED TO SEE SOMETHING SO UGLY, I’D TAKE A LOOK AT FRANKENSTEIN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!”

“WHAT KIND OF POKEMON HAS TO STAY IN THE GROUND, ALL OF THE TIME!?” shouted Rex. “THAT’S WHAT THIS DIGDA DOES ALL DAY!”

“IT BEATS BEING FAT!” shouted Digda.

“ARE YOU SAYING I’M FAT?”

“NO, I WAS SAYING THAT PIPPI’S FAT,” shouted Digda, “BUT WHY WOULD YOU THINK I SAID THAT YOU WERE FAT, UNLESS YOU WERE FAT!?!?!?”

“YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME, BUDDY!?”

“THIS IS A COMEDIAN TOURNAMENT, NOT A BATTLING TOURNAMENT!”

“WELL YOU WANTED TO BATTLE HERE ANYWAY!”

“WELL TOO BAD, LOSER! I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW!”

“BUT ALL THIS TIME YOU’VE BEEN WANTING TO-“

“SHUT UP!”

“HOW COME YOU’RE PARTICIPATING AS A COMEDIAN, ANYWAY, DIGDA?”

“BECAUSE,” answered Digda, “I WON THE LOTTERY HELD LAST NIGHT TO WIN THE PRIZE OF PARTICIPATING IN BOTH CONTESTS. WERE YOU THERE TO WIN IT? NO! THAT’S BECAUSE YOU WERE BEING TOURMENTED BY TRAINERS BECAUSE YOU HIT THAT LOSER, PIPPI!”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?”

“THAT WAS JUST A GUESS!” said Digda. “YOU MEAN THAT REALLY HAPPENED TO YOU? MAN, DUDE, YOU’RE MORE OF A LOSER THAN I THOUGHT!”

Bana Bana sighed, as the Pokemon continued. “Man, Pippi, will they ever stop arguing?”

But Pippi was too upset that once again, someone called him fat. He was trembling like there was an earthquake or something like that.

Kamex was mad. He shouted, “I HATE YOU, YOU STUPID, DUMB, UGLY, EVIL, LOSER FROM THE PLANET DUMMY THAT IS A DUMMY!”

“YOU’RE THE DUMMY WHO IS THE DUMMY FROM THE PLANET DUMMY, YOU DUMMY!” Digda shouted back.

“I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?”

“I’M RUBBER AND YOU’RE SUPERGLUE,” said Digda. “WHAT YOU SAY BOUNCES OFF ME AND STICKS TO YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!”

“Gee, that was clever,” said the Kamex. “You’re really good at this. You’re a genius!”

“Why thank you, Rex,” said Digda.

“HA! YOU’RE RUBBER AND I’M SUPERGLUE!” said Kamex, pointing at the Digda. “MY COMPLIMENT BOUNCED OFF YOU AND STUCK TO ME FOREVER! I’M A GENIUS! HORRAY!” Then he laughed like an idiot.

“SHUT UP, YOU GOON!” shouted Digda.

“STUPID FACE!”

“LIAR!”

“DORK!”

“PUNK!”

“CHUMP!”

“ROOSTER!”

“ROOSTER!?” said the Kamex. “WHAT’S THAT!?”

“YOU, YOU BIG GOONY, STUPID, LYING, DORKY, PUNKY, CHUMPY ROOSTER!”

“HEY, YOU USED SOME OF MY INSULTS!” said Kamex.

“I DON’T SEE YOU’RE NAME ON THEM!” Digda answered.

Okay, now the audience had gotten bored with this, and they wanted to move on to more comedians, so they started booing. Man, even I'm starting to get tired of this, and I'm the one controlling the story!

“I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE YOU!” shouted Rex.

“I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOATHE YOU!” shouted Digda.

“I HATE YOU MORE!”

“I LOATHE YOU MORE!”

“HATE IS STRONGER!”

“NO IT’S NOT, LOATHE IS!”

“WELL AT LEAST MY HATE IS STRONGER!”

“GIMME THAT MIKE!”

“NEVER!”

“CREEP!”

“MORON!”

“YOU’RE AN IDIOT!”

“YES YOU ARE, DIGDA!”

“HEY!”

“WHAT DOES ‘DIGDA’ STAND FOR, ANYWAY!”

“HUH?”

“LET’S FIND OUT!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?”

“D IS FOR DUMMY!”

“WHAT?”

“U IS FOR UGLY, G IS FOR GOOFY, THE OTHER D IS FOR DISASTEROUS, AND THE A IS FOR ART!”

“ART?!”

“I RAN OUT OF IDEAS, OKAY?”

“WHAT?”

“ALL RIGHT, THAT’S ENOUGH, YOU TWO!”

Digda and Rex turned around to see an angry Barrierd charging towards them. “TURTLE! GIMME THAT MICROPHONE OR PERISH!”

Frightened by Barrierd’s crimson red face, Rex threw the device to Barrierd.

“YOU GUYS HAVE DEFINITELY STAYED UP HERE FOR MORE THAN TWO MINUTES COMBINED, TIMES IT TWO THE SECOND POWER AND MULTIPLIYED TIMES TEN!” shouted the Barrierd.

"NO WE HAVEN'T," said Kamex. "I mean, we've been here for a while but not that long."

"You'd be surprised," said the Barrierd.

"You're still exaggerating."

"Oh, all right, you know what I mean," said the Barrierd. "Now go away."

"HA! Did you hear what he said, you tubby turtle?" said Digda. "He said to go away!"

"And that goes for you too, Digda!" said the Barrierd.

"Man, I thought mimes were supposed to be silent," said Digda, "but you're one mime of a kind, you know that?"

“Whatever,” said the Barrierd.

Afterwards, all of the other comedian Pokemon participants had taken their two-minute turn to tell some jokes, and the audience had managed to laugh. Then the judges had made their decision to eliminate the twelve worst ones. So who were they, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you who stayed.

Somehow, Rex Kamex managed to stay.
Unfortunately, so did Digda.
The Rujuura I kept mentioning before had made it.
So did the Wanriki.
So did the Purin.
Besides that, so did a Pikachu.
Also, so did a rocky Pokemon called Nosepass.
Not to mention there was a Volbeat that stayed as well. Volbeat was a bug-like Pokemon.

“Congratulations, Rexinator,” said Pippi and Bana Bana. (Yes, Pippi called Rex that, too.)

“Why thank you, guys,” Rex replied.

Now, the three of them were eating some pizza before the actual battles of the Toonamento would come.

“Man, with victories like mine,” Pippi said, taking a big, juicy bite (I’m making you hungry, aren’t I?), “I’m guaranteed to win the Toonamento without lots of pain!” Unlike before, he was now confident enough to succeed in the battles.

Just then, Digda came along.

“Oh great, it’s you,” Rex said, in an annoyed tone.

“Silence, you punk!” shouted Digda. Then he turned to Pippi. “Pinky,” he said, “you may have won your preliminary match, but that was only because everybody was trying their hardest to get in the Toonamento. But, now many of them have, they’re gonna try even harder to stay in the Toonamento! So if you thought that your previous battle was too tough, just you wait till you battle your next opponent. Heh, maybe your next opponent will fly away! No wait, he’ll just get caught by the camera that’s tracking him down. WAHAHAHAHA!”

As Digda left, Rex said, “Don’t listen to him, Pippi. You’ll do fine.”

But it was too late. Pippi had turned white as a sheet again.

“But I wonder,” continued Rex, “how Digda would know if Pippi’s opponent could fly or not…”

“Maybe they’ve already told who would face who,” said Bana Bana. “You don’t, by any chance, think that Pippi’s flying opponent could be… nah.”

“I doubt it,” Rex answered.

“Who? Who?” Pippi asked, after regaining his pinkish pigment.

“Oh, it’s just an old friend of ours,” said Rex, “but don’t worry about it. I don’t think it’s him.”

At that moment, a Raichu ran over to the eating Pokemon. “Haven’t you heard?” the orange mouse-like creature said to the three of them. “They’ve shown who will face who on a chart! Come on and see!”

So Rex and Bana Bana went over to a big bulletin board, which had all the 64 battling Pokemon, each beside who they would face. Pippi didn’t go with them yet, as he wanted to finish his last slice of pizza.

“Look, Rex,” said Bana Bana, “at that!”

Rex looked to the direction that Bana Bana was pointing at. There, at the end of the chart was a picture of Pippi (though I don’t know when anybody took his picture) next to his opponent. Rex and Bana Bana looked at each other with frightened faces.

“OH NO!” they shouted at the same time. “IT IS HIM!”

“Long time, no see, guys,” said a voice from behind them.

The two Pokemon turned around to see a familiar face. Well, it was familiar to them, anyway. This particular Pokemon was an orange Pokemon that was the same one as Pippi’s opponent, but who was it? Only Rex and Pippi know for now…

Well, find out what happens on the next chapter of… THIS STORY!

Fine, here is a sneak peak of the next chapter.

Spoiler:

Thread: POKIMAN! (Rated PG)

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POKIMAN! (Rated PG)

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