Before reading this, make sure you've read all seven chapters. That way you won't be missing anything. For those of you who have read all that, here's the next chapter...
Last time, you remember, Pippi signed the wrong list to the Poketto Monsutaa Suupaa Batoru Toonamento with a permanent pen, and so he couldn’t erase his writing. He had no choice but to battle in the Toonamento instead of telling jokes as a comedian. His first opponent in the Toonamento was Dawgasu the Dogasu (the Koffing!), which was for the preliminary round of the Toonamento. Rex did manage to sign the comedian list, which brought disappointment to Digda, for Digda had wanted to challenge Rex in a battle. Let’s see what happens next… today! (You’re not going anywhere, are you?)
Chapter 8- “The Preliminary Round Battles! Pippi VS Dawgasu! (Part One)”
Pippi began holding his head while screaming running around in circles.
“AAAAAAUGH! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” he screamed, still running. “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”
The other three Pokemon were just looking at him.
“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”
Digda was just laughing at him.
“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”
“You want I should slap him upside the head to snap him out of that state?” Bana Bana asked Rex, who was just staring at Pippi.
“NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO!” Pippi exclaimed.
“Who is this Dawgasu the Dogasu that you will be facing, anyway?” said Digda, puzzled.
“Uh, I don’t know,” said Pippi, “but I refuse to battle him!”
“Sorry, Pippi, but you can’t refuse,” told Rex.
Pippi sighed. “Yeah, I know, because I can’t change my mind once I write it down on the list.”
“No,” said the Kamex. “Actually, yes, but also, you can’t forfeit any matches. You have to battle to the end. Ask that Ruujura over there. She’ll tell you the same thing.”
Pippi looked at the Ruujura straightening her glasses once again. “You think that Pokemon will take bribes?” he asked Rex.
“BRIBES?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Digda couldn’t help but laugh at this Pokemon’s question.
Pippi sighed. There was nothing he could do. Unless…
“Hey, maybe if I run away, they won’t catch me, and so they wouldn’t force me to battle!” suggested Pippi.
“You can run, but you can’t hide!” said Digda. “For as soon as you sign that paper saying you want to battle, a flying hidden camera will come and track you down. You can’t escape your doom!” Then Digda stopped and thought for a moment. “But I do hope you make it to the final round. That’s where I’ll be waiting. If you don’t make it before then, hopefully, that’s because I’d beat you first.”
“Darn,” said Pippi.
“Well, gotta go!” said Digda. “I’ve got a Boober to defeat!”
Then Digda burrowed underground and was gone.
Pippi grew frightened again. “JEEPERS!” he said. “Now who is this Dawgasu I have to face.”
“I’m Dawgasu,” said a voice. “Whassup, dawgs?”
Pippi, Rex, and Bana Bana turned around to see a little purple floating Pokemon that was called a Dogasu. This Dogasu, named Dawgasu, was a puffy ball-like creature; only it was the ball of an imperfect sphere. Smoke kept shooting out of his pores, and there was a symbol similar to a skull and crossbones at the bottom of his body. He was named Dawgasu because he was a former rapper.
“Well… you must be Pippi,” Dawgasu said. “It’s nice to see you again, Dawg.”
“Again?!” said Pippi.
“Yup, the first time I saw you was on the TV screen,” explained Dawgasu.
“Oh,” said Pippi.
“Anyway… we’ll battle last, so get ready to lose!” said Dawgasu, as he floated away.
“I’m doomed,” said Pippi, “plain and simple.”
“We’ll pray for you,” said Rex.
“Thanks, Rex,” said Pippi.
“Now let’s look at the battling rules,” said the Kamex, as he got out a brochure that advertised the Toonamento. In one section were the battling rules. This is what the brochure said:
“THE OFFICIAL POKETTO MONSUTAA SUUPAA BATORU TOONAMENTO RULES:
1. ONLY POKEMON WHO SIGNED UP TO BATTLE CAN PARTICIPATE IN BATTLING.
2. BATTLERS CANNOT PARTICIPATE IN BEING COMEDIANS EXCEPT UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES…
3. NO LEGENDARY POKEMON ARE ALLOWED TO BATTLE.
4. IF YOU USE AN ATTACK THAT WILL CAUSE YOUR OPPONENT TO FAINT, BUT WILL ALSO CAUSE YOU TO FAINT, YOU WILL LOSE THE MATCH.
5. HELD ITEMS ARE ALLOWED.
6. FORFIETING IS NOT ALLOWED.
7. THE AUDIENCE CAN YAY AND BOO ALL THEY WANT TO.
8. STALLING IS NOT ALLOWED, BUT IT WILL NOT DISQUALIFY YOU, SO THIS RULE IS BASICALLY POINTLESS.
9. SHOW UP AT THE DESIGNATED TIME TO PARTICIPATE IN BATTLE. IF YOU DO NOT, THE HIDDEN CAMERA WILL FIND YOU AND GRAB YOU. SORRY!
10. POKEMON PARTICIPATING IN BATTLE CANNOT EAT IN A MATCH.
11. BASICALLY ANY ATTACK IS AVAILIBALE FOR USE AS LONG AS YOU DON’T END UP FAINTING.
12. NO HUMANS ARE ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE.
THIS HAS BEEN THE END OF THE OFFICIAL SOUNDING RULES OF THE TOONAMENTO.”
“Oh…” said Pippi, “so I can’t leave. I’m doomed! I’m gonna die!”
“You’re not gonna die, Pippi,” Kamex said to Pippi.
“But there isn’t any rule against killing your opponent,” mentioned Bana Bana.
“I’m doomed…” Pippi repeated to himself, just as the first Pokemon started battling each other.
There were two Pokemon on each side of a big cage-like room at the stadium field that was made of glass. It was basically in the shape of a rectangular pyramid.
“IN THIS CORNER,” said the referee, which was a Barrierd (Mr. Mime), “WEIGHING 155 POUNDS, WE HAVE MIGHTY MIKEY THE GORIKIE (Machoke)!” He pointed over to a big, blue, muscular Pokemon that looked similar to a human. He had a red bandana, and to his eye-patch On his left hand, he had a tattoo that had “MOMMY” on it.
The Pokemon audience cheered.
“GET READY TO RUMBLE!” Mighty Mikey shouted, turning his hands into fists, and then spitting.
“…AND IN THIS CORNER,” continued the Barrierd referee, pointing in the other direction, “WEIGHING 158 POUNDS, WE HAVE OLD GRUMPY GRUMPIG THE BUPIGGU (Grumpig)!”
The crowd cheered once again, and Grumpy Grumpig glared at the Gorikie.
“YOU GET READY TO RUMBLE AND LOSE,” said Grumpy.
“NOW…” said the Barrierd, “BEGIN!”
“YAAAAAAAAAAAH!” went Mighty Mikey Gorikie charging up to Grumpy Grumpig.
“YAAAAAAAAAAAH!” went Grumpy Grumpig charging up to Mighty Mikey Gorikie.
The two Pokemon fought each other, creating an anime dust cloud. All of the Pokemon were cheering. Some were crying, “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”
One Pokemon from the audience, who was named Hansel Dicolo the Hasumo (Lotad), said, “Man! This is one exciting battle!”
“You said it, Hansel,” said Gretel Dicolo the girl Hasumo.
“Well I’m glad you like it, kids,” said the father Dicolo, a Hasumodero (Lombre) with a moustache. Then he smiled at his wife, another Hasumodero.
Lou Dicolo*, the grandfather of the two kids, who was a Runpapa (Ludicolo), had another opinion of the battle.
“They don’t make Pokemon battles like they used to,” he said. “Why, back in my day, I used to battle Pokemon that were fifteen power levels than the one I had at the time. Back in the day, Pokemon battles were actually battles, not some play-fighting full of Poke-punks full of only talk that couldn’t even battle their way out of a paper bag that had a hole in it!”
(*I got Lou Dicolo’s name, not only from Ludicolo, but from “Grandpa Lou” from “Rugrats”, who always used the number “fifteen” whenever he described something from back in his day.)
“Oh Grandpa,” said Gretel.
“And anyway,” he said, “even in this Toonamento thingy that you young folks have, there still isn’t a worthy battle to see. The only reason I came here to this dump was because I was bored. And, I’m still bored.”
Meanwhile, Pippi was watching the battle with great fear in his eyes. He could hear his heart beating like a giant drum being pounded upon by, well, a giant.
“I’M SCARED…” Pippi said.
Finally though, Grumpy won the match.
“AND THE WINNER OF THE MATCH IS… GRUMPYYYYYYY!” the ref shouted, causing everyone except Pippi to cheer. Pippi was frightened, because Mikey had a black eye in the other eye that Mikey didn’t have an eye patch on. Machoke was full of severe scratches, his quantity of teeth was reduced by half, and even though Grumpy Grumpig won the match, he still had severe scars, and he basically had only 1 HP left.
“I’m gonna die… I’m gonna die…” Pippi exclaimed.
“Yes you are, Pippi,” said Dawgasu, who came back. “Well, maybe not die, but…”
“SHUT UP, PUNK!” shouted the Kamex.
“YOU SHUT UP, DAWG!” said Dawgasu.
“Oh, just wait till our match, Pippi,” Dawgasu said. “Then you’ll wish that I continued rapping instead of beginning to battle.”
Now Pippi was white as a sheet, biting his fingernails. (Wait, do Pippis have fingernails?)
The battles went on. Digda thrashed the fire-type Boober with an Earthquake attack, Gordon managed to defeat the water-type Laplace, even though Laplace had an advantage. But there was something strange about the battle before that. It was something that Pippi just could not believe.
“BEGIN THE MATCH!” shouted the referee to Ken the Kentauros and Harriet the Koiking (Magikarp- I’m not gonna say it again). They began to duke it out in the stadium glass room.
“You’re gonna be easy to beat. FWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” went Ken, charging up to the Koiking. Now Koiking was a fish that could only Splash around, use a Tackle attack, or use a Flail attack. Ken jumped into the air to pounce on Harriet the Koiking, but the Koiking fish flopped away!
Ken hit the ground face first.
The crowd, who was cheering for Ken, naturally, since Harriet was the underdog, gasped.
“I’M GONNA WIN THIS ONE FOR EVERYBODY WHO ACTUALLY THINKS THAT KOIKINGS HAVE USE IN THIS WORLD!” shouted Harriet. Then it slapped Ken with it’s tail.
“WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!” went everybody.
WHAM! KICK! POW! Where did Koiking get that kind of power? It was beating the stuffing out of Ken! (You see, Ken had stuffing for dinner during the previous night and all, and it hadn’t all been digested yet.)
“SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE- OOF!” shouted Ken, as he got hit in the head by a Tackle attack.
This caused the audience crowd to stop laughing at Ken. Well, almost everybody laughed at him. Pippi was the only person who was nervous.
“Even the Koikings are powerful!” said Pippi to himself, watching the horrifying battle.
“GYAH! BWOOF! MWAUGH!” went Ken. “MERCY! MERCY!” The audience continued to laugh as they watched the poor bull Pokemon begging for mercy.
“THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR UNDERESTIMATING ME!” shouted Harriet, using a Flail attack as a finishing blow.
The fish used her attack on the begging bull.
And he’s down!
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAY!” went the crowd, changing sides. “KOIKING! KOIKING! KOIKING!”
Meanwhile, Ken managed to get up, as the referee and his buddy Barrierds came along and grabbed him to take him out of the stadium.
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” went the crowd as soon as Kenny, who was crying by the way, was being carried out. Meanwhile as Harriet was doing a victory Splash, the audience started throwing tomatoes, which they got from out of nowhere, at Ken. The Barrierds used their Barrier attacks to shield themselves against the fruits. (Yes, they are fruits. End of story.) The barriers were on only one side of each of the Barrierds, and so it was still easy to hold Ken on their other sides.
“ISN’T THIS GREAT, PIPPI?” said Rex Kamex, shaking his fist and his popcorn. (He got it sometime between the other battles.)
“And you’re next, little man,” said Bana Bana. “Of course, I’d participate but I feel too old for this.”
“Is there an age limit?” asked the excited Pippi. “If there is, maybe I’m too old for this tournament!”
“There’s none I know of,” said Rex.
“Maybe if I act real old, they won’t let me participate!” suggested Pippi. Then he got out a beard from out of nowhere and said, “Hey, all you whippersnappers. I’m Pippi, an old, old, o~ld fairy.”
“Nice try, dude,” said Rex the Kamex.
“AND NOW FOR THE FINAL BATTLE OF THE PRELIMINARIES!” shouted the referee Barrierd. “IT’S PIPPI THE PIPPI VS DAWGASU THE DAWGASU!”
“[Gulp.] That’s me…” said the nervous Pippi.
“Well, get up there,” said the Kamex. “You have no choice. Don’t worry about it!”
“You can do it, Pippi!” said Bana Bana.
“Beat that Dogasu!” cried Digda, who was nearby. “I know you can do it!”
“Gee, thanks, Digda,” said Pippi.
“YOU BETTER DO IT,” said Digda, “OR I’LL MAKE YA’! NOBODY BEATS YOU EXCEPT ME! YOU GOT THAT? GOOD!”
“Sigh…” went Pippi.
There was no turning back now. Pippi had to face his fear in the Toonamento. (Man, I feel sorry for that loser. WAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I’m done.) He went into the stadium glass box room thingy, where the Dogasu was waiting.
“IF I WIN THIS,” yelled the floating purple Pokemon, “THEN I WILL SING A VICTORY RAP! GOOD LUCK, DAWG. YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT, DAWG. DAWG.”
Pippi was doomed.
“IN THIS CORNER,” said the ref, “WE HAVE, WEIGHING EXACTLY TWO POUNDS, WE HAVE A DOGASU NAMED DAWGASUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”
Practically the whole crowd cheered. When the crowd silenced, everyone could hear Rex go, “Booooooooooooooooooooooooooo~ooooooo!” Everybody paused and looked at him. “What?” he said. “Can’t a guy state his own opinion just like you guys?”
Pippi braced himself for the worst as the referee said in a bored tone, “… and here we have some Pippi.”
“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!” went Rex and Bana Bana. The crowd looked at them, and somebody threw a tomato at Rex’s face. >SPLAT!<
“NOW… BEGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!” went the ref.
Pippi turned white as a sheet again.
“GUESS WHAT, DAWGS?” said the Dogasu to the audience. “I’M GONNA EXPLODE WITHOUT MAKING MYSELF LOSE MY ENTIRE HP!”
“What?” said Rex. “But you can’t do that!”
“Yes I can,” said Dawgasu, who somehow heard him over the loud crowd. (Hey, loud crowd! Awesome! I made a rhyme! Cool, dudes!) “Just watch me!”
He then started to grow bigger, like balloon. Pippi was so terrified he couldn’t move. He was doomed.
“Good-bye, cruel world,” was Pippi’s only statement.
“I SHALL EXPLODE IN TEN SECONDS,” said the Dogasu, giggling.
Pippi began to wave his fingers, hoping that something good would happen.
He was wrong.
Actually, I don’t know yet.
“What will I get?” he said.
“Five seconds left,” said the expanding Pokemon.
Find out what happens next time in the next chapter of “Pokiman”!
(Please review quickly.)