View Poll Results: What do you think of my story?

9. You may not vote on this poll
  • I loved it!

    2 22.22%
  • It was good.

    4 44.44%
  • It's an OK story.

    1 11.11%
  • Not the best I have seen.

    1 11.11%
  • Bad.

    1 11.11%
Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Jovi's Jovial Adventure

Threaded View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011

    Default Jovi's Jovial Adventure

    Jovi's Jovial Adventure

    Hey there, this is my first written story. (G Rated) Maybe some of you remember that I posted this story a while ago, but a lot of people said that I wasn't really good and that I let things happen way too fast. So I stopped writing and started reading other fics and practiced. So I post here the first chapter of my fic, wich has in my opinion improved since last time. but if you have any tips/suggestions/critiques/compliments I would like to see it, as long as it's told friendly.

        Spoiler:- Chapter List:

        Spoiler:- Character Bios:

    This story is about Jovi, the little sister of the protagonist of Pokémon XD Gale of Darkness. It has been a few years after he wrecked the plans of Chipher and everything returned to normal again. A lot has happened since then, towns have changed or growed, new towns have formed and although back then wild Pokémon were only found at PokéSpots, wild Pokémon can now be found all over Orre.

    Although many things have changed, there's one thing that didn't change: The Pokémon HQ Laboratory. And this is where our story begins...

    ----* Chapter 1 * ----
    A new Trainer appears

    ~* Orre, a few years after Chipher was destroyed *~

    “Good job Jovi, you did great in the simulation.”

    A girl with long blue straight hair and light blue eyes wearing a small pink scarf, a black and grey striped vest, dark blue jeans, pink fingerless gloves, black and pink sneakers and a black bag with a pink Poké Ball logo on it slowly walked out of the simulator room.

    “Thanks, I really like to battle. I want to be just as good as my brother!” Jovi said to the professor.

    “You will be,” the professor answered. “You just have to keep practicing.”

    Jovi thanked the professor once again and ran out of the room.

    When she walked out of the Pokémon HQ Laboratory, a white building that had used a lot of glass in its structure and had a giant Poké Ball, that was sliced in pieces, on top of it, Jovi saw Prof. Krane.
    Professor Krane was the head of the laboratory. It was a tall man in its early fifties with brown hair, wearing glasses and usually wearing a lab coat. He was looking at the lush green trees and landscapes around the lab while slowly walking around.

    Jovi approached him and just as she wanted to ask him something he turned around and said: “Ah Jovi, I heard from several professors you are using the simulation room a lot lately. They also say you are improving a lot.”

    “That’s right but after doing the same simulation for ten times you sure know how to beat it in two moves. But that’s why I want to travel around, meet real trainers, see different strategies and improve myself.” Jovi said excited. “But Professor Krane, I wanted to ask you, would like to have a battle with me?”

    Krane thought about it for a moment while scratching the back of his head, then he answered: “Ok Jovi, show me how much you improved.”

    “OK, let’s go then.” Jovi said. “Oh…wait….Mimi come over here!”

    The doors of the lab slid open and two rabbit like creatures ran outside. One had blue colored ears and paws, blue cheeks with a min sign on it and a blue tail with the form of a min sign. The other one looked almost the same but was red colored and had plus signs where the other was blue colored and had min signs.

    “Okay we can go now.” Jovi said happily

    They walked to a battlefield that the professors, and Jovi, sometimes used for battles against each other. It wasn’t far away from the lab and was located at an open spot in the forest.

    Jovi’s Plusle, the red colored rabbit, was watching this time. While Jovi gave her Minun, the blue colored rabbit a pep talk, Prof. Krane send out a Pokémon that looked like a half hatched egg. Jovi had seen his Pokémon before and knew this wouldn’t be a hard battle.

    “Are you ready Jovi?” Prof. Krane asked.

    “Yes,” Jovi answered “and you may start this time.”

    “Well, let’s get started then” Prof. Krane said.

    He grabbed something that looked like some sort of MP3, pressed a few buttons and music could be heard. Jovi was used to this because when she did simulator battles there also was music playing in the background.

    “Togepi use Sweet Kiss!” Prof. Krane yelled.

    “Piiiii!” Togepi shouted and started to look cute at Minun followed by shooting pink hearts at it.

    “OK Mimi, evade and then attack with Quick Attack!” Jovi told Minun.

    “Miiiimiiiiiii!” Minun cried before it started dashing over the battlefield, evading the Sweet Kiss and charged at Togepi.

    With high speed Minun rammed into the Togepi, which almost couldn’t get up anymore.

    “C’mon Togepi get up and use Charm!” Prof. Krane said to Togepi.

    The Togepi obeyed the orders and started to gaze charmingly at Minun.

    “Quick Mimi, don’t look at Togepi. Just use Quick Attack again and win this battle.”

    Minun started to dash again slowly gaining more and more speed.

    “We don’t get rammed again, right Togepi?” Prof Krane said to Togepi “Use Metronome Togepi, and show what you can do!”

    Togepi started to waggle it’s finger from side to side while Minun still was getting closer. And just when Minun would hit Togepi, Togepi blew Minun way back.

    “Good job Togepi!” Prof. Krane said.

    “That didn’t do much damage right Mimi?” Jovi asked “you can finish this!”

    “PlaaPLAAAA!” Plusle cheered on from the side.

    “Alright!” Jovi said fierce. “MIMI, QUICK ATTACK!!!”

    “MIIMII!!!” Minun cried loudly before launching itself to Togepi.

    “Togepi use Yawn!” Prof. Krane said to his little egg Pokémon.

    Togepi could only breathe in because it got bashed by Minun in its belly. Then it fell over on the ground, unable to keep on fighting.

    “Togepi!” Prof. Krane yelled “Are you alright?”

    “P-p…iiii” Togepi slowly said.

    Professor Krane picked up its Togepi, gave it an Oran Berry to reduce the pain it had and stopped the music.

    “I’m sorry Togepi, I’m just not used to battling. I’m way better in researching.” Prof. Krane said while smiling.

    Prof. Krane picked up Togepi and said to Jovi that he would go inside and give the Pokémon some rest, Jovi followed his lead and gave her Minun some rest.

    *Inside the Pokémon HQ Laboratory*
    After they had given their Pokémon some rest, Jovi decided to get some more practice in the simulator room. Tomorrow would be the great day. Tomorrow she would go with Lily to Mt. Battle to start her adventure as a trainer. After a few battles she heard that Prof. Krane was looking for her.

    When she walked into his office, Prof. Krane was sitting behind his desk, working on his computer.

    “You wanted to see me?” Jovi asked curious.

    “Yes Jovi, I wanted to ask you something.” Prof Krane said “Do you already know which Pokémon you are going to take with you?” he asked.

    “I was thinking of taking Plusle and Minun with me.” Jovi answered.

    “Are you sure?”Prof. Krane asked. “Sure your Plusle and Minun can battle, but they aren’t really trained and even more important, they only played with you and aren’t used to battling that much. They would do much better in Contests, but those aren’t held here in Orre.”

    “Maybe your right Prof. Krane” Jovi said a bit disappointed “But I don’t have any other Pokémon to take with me.”

    “ Come over here and take a look at the monitor” Prof. Krane said.

    Jovi walked over to the monitor and saw pictures of 3 Pokémon. The first one was a little blue bird, the second was a little green plant, and the third was an iron covered Pokémon.

    “What are those?” Jovi asked.

    “Three Pokémon your brother send me.” Prof. Krane answered. “In every other region that has been discovered they had three starters provided by professors. But here we don’t have those. So you may pick one of these three.”

    “Hmmm…’s a hard decision, but I will take the blue bird.” Jovi said.

    “You chose the Swablu Jovi.” Prof Krane told Jovi “I think you made a good decision, let me get it for you, wait here for a minute, OK?”

    After a few minutes Prof. Krane returned with a Pokéball.

    “Here you go, your own Swablu. Take good care of it.” Prof. Krane said.

    “Of course I will! But what moves does it know?” Jovi asked.

    “Use the built-in PokéDex in your P*DA to scan your Pokémon and see for yourself.” Prof. Krane said.

    Jovi scanned the Pokéball and 3 moves appeared: Peck, Growl and Sing.

    After Jovi had put away the P*DA and the Pokéball, Prof. Krane said to her that she could use the rest of this day to get familiar with the Swablu, since it was a type of Pokémon Jovi didn’t own before. Jovi agreed and just before she left Prof. Krane’s office, he said to her that she should go to bed early, so she would be ready for the big day tomorrow.

    * The next day*
    Jovi couldn’t sleep that well this night because she was so excited to start her journey that day, but she still got up early. When Prof. Krane walked outside of the laboratory, he saw Jovi already training with her Swablu. He watched her from a distance, but Jovi soon saw him and ran towards him.

    “Professor Krane, I wanted to thank you again for the Swablu. I really like her, and we make a good team.” Jovi said.

    And before he could answer she ran inside the laboratory, to prepare herself for the adventures and travels that would await her.

    “Hah, her inexhaustible spirit. It always makes me think of my younger days.” Prof. Krane said to himself.

    Then the time had finally arrived, and Jovi and Lily were getting ready to go to Mt. Battle.

    Lily was Jovi’s mother and also worked in the lab. She has brown hair that she wears tied up in a knot. She also wears a long pink coat. Lily took care of the Purification Chamber when Michael, Jovi’s big brother, rescued Shadow Pokémon. Her husband has died.

    “Do you have everything you need Jovi?” Lily asked.

    “Yup, I’m ready to start my new life as a traveling trainer” Jovi answered.

    Jovi had the paper from Mt. Battle in her hands and red through it one more time:

    “Do you think you are ready for the challenges we have made for you? Are you ready to battle and win from the trainers we have? If you do, come to the newly renovated Mt. battle. You can still challenge the trainers the way you used to, 9 trainers in a row with 1 area leader, or our new project that will be revealed at the grand opening of the renewed Mt. Battle. But we’ll give a tiny hint: You have to travel around Orre. That’s all we say for now. If you are interested, just come to the opening and you’ll discover what you have to do and you can sign up for it.
    - You have to be old enough to travel without adults.
    - You have at least one Pokémon.
    We’ll hope to see you at the opening!
    The Mt. Battle Event Managers”

    Jovi put away the paper and got in Lily’s car. She said goodbye to Prof. Krane one more time, and then they drove away to Mt. Battle.

        Spoiler:- Important happenings in this chapter:
    Last edited by Dragonitor; 26th July 2012 at 3:35 PM. Reason: Updated Chapter 1

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts