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Thread: The Souls of Johto

  1. #1
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    Default The Souls of Johto

    Hey everyone, this story is off of another site I use under a name already registered here. It was by me in 2009, but since then I've changed e-mail, forgot the password and to be honest, I've moved on. But the story is new, and here it is.


    The Souls Of Johto


    Ancient legend once told of a series of mystical creatures, each of one of seventeen types. Of each region in existence, there were one of all types among the land. A total of seventeen creatures per area. It is these areas in which the regions of now were formed around, and were named by the settlers as Johto, Hoenn, Kanto, Unova, and Sinnoh. Other regions such as Almia and Orre also had these seventeen creatures, but lesser in power and knowledge. When written in ancient scroll, it is often the five former regions mentioned. The creatures, ghostlike and immortal, were worshipped by many, from awe, fear and the knowledge and protection they provided. Yet there were those who wished to claim the power these creatures offered. They challenged the beasts, attacking them with their spears and their creatures they owned. And when the creatures slaughtered them, chaos ensued over the world. Darkness covered the skies, and the creatures broke loose of their domain. Wreaking havoc over the land, they left only the few who had offered them friendship, and to them, they left gifts. They granted the creatures of the land their power and 'types', leaving their physical existence and appearing now only as 'Souls'. All of the creatures of the land gained shares of power, and after they had matured and grown enough, the ability to change their whole form. After this change, they were named by the Souls as Pokémon, and they were to be trained, guarded and treated with respect. They then returned to their temples, and calm descended once more...

    After the devastation left on the world, the people who had been left to live and prosper hid away the temples they had built, destroying them, or hiding them away amongst the forests they planted. they made huge hills and valleys to take the shrines to, even taking one to the highest points they knew within their respective lands. And the Souls all were left to never be discovered again. Until a trainer of the Pokémon discovered one on his travels. Awakening the Soul by accident, it challenged him to a battle. When he was defeated, the Soul attacked his Pokémon, killing it, and he cried. The emotional response stopped the Soul, who, in seeing the emotions that humans were now showing for the world, resurrected his partner and returned its strength. After this, the Soul declared to the human that when challenged, the Souls would now only knock out the opposing Pokémon, not kill it. This was to become the way for all battles to now take place. The Soul then vanished once more, leaving behind a map of all the locations of the Souls. This map was to be taken by the traveler to his home, and it was kept secret by him at his dojo forevermore....

    It was confirmed to the traveler many years later, on his deathbed, that his secret was worth keeping. As he was to pass away, a small star-shaped creature approached him, by the name of Jirachi. It was sent by the Souls to grant the man a dying wish. As he passed the scroll containing the map to his son, he told Jirachi that his wish was that, if it ever happened, that if all 17 Souls in one region were united once more, that the meeting was to be decided by the purity and valor of the trainer, not the decision of the Souls themselves. He wished for this to happen by each Soul passing on a Pokémon egg of its respective form and type at the current time to the trainer, and for them to be marked as a 'Soul' Pokémon. With the wish being granted, the old traveler died, and his son was given the order to protect the scroll forever, and never to let it fall into the wrong hands. if it was, and all 17 Souls were brought together, the corrupt and impure could destroy the whole world unwillingly...

    Cherrygrove City, Johto Region.
    31/4/2044
    9PM.


    "Sensei, you've dropped something..." A 15 year-old boy was standing next to his master, holding out an old scroll, which was blank, to him, which he had picked up from the floor. His sensei, who turned slowly to look at him, frowned and shook his head.
    "Seth, I see no indication that this scroll is mine. I was not carrying a scroll, and it has your name on it."
    Seth looked at the scroll, which he was sure was blank, puzzled. It was then he saw, in black ink from a feather quill pen, his name on it.
    What?... Seth thought, confused.
    "Come, we must go back now. We have much to do." Seth's sensei ordered. Seth bowed slightly, and ran towards the dojo, just behind his Sensei.

    As he ran back to the dojo, Seth was holding the scroll tightly. As he ran, the black ink which his name had appeared in started to spread into an intricate pattern. Forming a map of the Johto region, with many more pathways, routes and locations, it slowly spread across the whole scroll. A few paragraphs of writing appeared beneath the map, and just above the map, in thick letters, formed a title, emblazoned inside a banner....

    The Souls Of Johto
    Last edited by Krazy95; 18th April 2012 at 1:01 AM. Reason: grammar/constructive criticism etc

  2. #2
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    This is a very intriguing, interesting idea. I look forward to seeing how this develops.

    When he was defeated, and the Soul attacked his Pokémon, killing, he cried. The emotional response stopped the Soul, who, in seeing the emotions that humans were now showing for the world, resurrected his partner and returned its strength. After this, the Soul declared to the human that all Souls would now challenge to only fainting, and this was to become the way for all battles to now take place.
    Some of the writing there is lacking. The first sentence...is that supposed to be "killing IT"? It seems likely, and if so, it should end with "AND he cried". And I don't know a better way of saying "...all Souls would now challenge only to fainting...", but that doesn't seem optimal. It's a bit clunky.

    There were some other instances, but that area really stuck with me. I still really like the concept, though, and look forward to seeing more.


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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    This is a very intriguing, interesting idea. I look forward to seeing how this develops.



    Some of the writing there is lacking. The first sentence...is that supposed to be "killing IT"? It seems likely, and if so, it should end with "AND he cried". And I don't know a better way of saying "...all Souls would now challenge only to fainting...", but that doesn't seem optimal. It's a bit clunky.

    There were some other instances, but that area really stuck with me. I still really like the concept, though, and look forward to seeing more.
    Thanks, I attempted an original when I was a younger writer, who lacked any detail. The area you've mentioned has been changed to 'killing it, and he cried.' and I've taken out the 'and' before 'the Soul'. I've also changed the area you quoted as clunky to a smoother sentence which makes more sense.

  4. #4
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    If you put together a PM list for this, can I be added to it? I'd like to keep up with it.


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