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Thread: Hero's Bond [PG 13]

  1. #76
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    Okay, I FINALLY read chapter 1. Whew! That's a lot of characters at once. Let's see if I remember...Jayden took Cynadquil, Burton took Abra, Kaycie took Totodile, and Marshall took Chikorita (and, oops, apparently her name is Kaylie). How did I do?

    The air of chapter one is immature and hopeful, which is in stark contrast to your signature banner which seems to imply violence and a sense of cynicism. So my interest is definitely piqued there.

    I liked the dad character; will we be seeing more of him and his past life? I hope so.

    So am I getting that Professor Elm is like a title that gets handed down (kind of like the accepted theory that "James Bond" is a title, and not a single person, hence why there have been so many diffeent physical appearances and decades he's lived in)? That's an interesting theory I can't say I've ever seen before. Will we be finding out anything else about that history or the current Elm?

    Off to read more; I probably won't do a chapter-by-chapter break (even a short one like this) since 17 chapters is a LOT to get through, but I'll stop to post thoughts when I do have them!
    Last edited by Sid87; 15th May 2012 at 5:22 PM.


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  2. #77
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    Chapter 2:

    No action? No worries. It's only chapter 2! I still just want to know who everybody is at this point!

    What I will say is that the incredibly brief summary of how Jayden's parents met left me wanting more. I know it might have seemed weird for him to launch into a spoken backstory, but you could have had "After he told her that, he thought of the story as his dad had explained it to him...", and we could have had a flashback scene. It wouldn't just be filler, either, if you use it to establish something about Jayden's parents that reflects back on him. Just, unless it's done more later, something I felt was a missed opportunity.

    You are right in there not being much action; I feel like what happened here could have been truncated and put in chapter 1 (Jayden talks with Kaylie; decides to register for Silver Conference). But that's okay. It's still just an introduction, and it worked for getting Kaylie stuck in my head better.


    Chapter 3:

    instead focusing on when they can cross the street.
    That should be COULD, not can. Your grammar has been good up to this point, but I figured I'd note this one.

    but was hit in the gut by Ledyba’s head. Cyndaquil rolled over in pain, clutching her gut
    I wouldn't say "gut" twice in succession: you could have said "midsection" the second time.


    I like that you had Cyndaquil lose its first battle. It's too often that fic trainers are just prodigies from the get-go, so it was interesting to see Jayden lose his match with Kaylie. I wonder how this will imact his already-delicate decision-making skills.

    I think the biggest thing I'd say so far is I'd like to see more description. I loved the dance battle thing in the middle of chapter 3 because it was well described and I got the best sense of Jayden's feelings towards Kaylie, but I still would like to see more done about these segments. You could have given this "night in Cherrygrove City" scene with the dance battle its own entire chapter. I would have enjoyed that.


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  3. #78
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    Many thanks for the reviews Sid. With the banner and feel of the fix, it picks up later on. You'll see what I mean. As for character backstories I plan on elaborating on everyone. There's an air of mystery around them all and I want to clear it up before this fic is over. I really appreciate you reviewing. It's only going to get better from here on out.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  4. #79
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    Okay, so I caught up on chapters 4 and 5.

    -I hope you don't rush/aren't rushing the Kaylie/Jayden relationship. I was hoping for a drawn-out "will they/won't they" kind of ordeal. Those can be tedious if done poorly, but they are highly rewarding if done properly. Where I left off, it seems like they're about to get together, and it all seems a little too easy for Jayden. I was looking for more strife to come between them before they expressed themselves to each other. But...maybe it is a dream or something and didn't actually happen that easily.

    -I hope you're taking my advice of stretching some scenes out where you are now, because there are still details I wish you'd done more with. Who were Stephanie or Phil? Why were they there? Are they coming back? What's their story? I would liked to have seen more about them.


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  5. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    -I hope you're taking my advice of stretching some scenes out where you are now, because there are still details I wish you'd done more with. Who were Stephanie or Phil? Why were they there? Are they coming back? What's their story? I would liked to have seen more about them.
    I think I had plans for them, but they didn't work out. I can't remember what I was going to do with them exactly, but I do remember that while writing that chapter they felt more like a passerby character than important plot oriented characters.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  6. #81
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    Just read chapters 6 and 7. I wasn't enamored with how Burn was portrayed, it seemed a little unrealistic and cartoonish. That said, I enjoyed the gym battle, and I thought it was very well written for a drawn-out battle scene. Good job there.

    I got a little confused at the end of chapter 7 as to who Bianca and Hope were; they just seemed to come out of nowhere and I got a little lost. If you ever go back to edit or re-write, I'd clear that up a little bit if you.

    Still enjoying it and looking forward to moving on to page 2!


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  7. #82
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    You're gonna hate me, but...crawling my way to Chapter Two...

    I like that the shiny Hoothoot not only doesn't faze Jayden, but he lets it run away. Little does he know...

    “Don’t remind me! That was a long time ago anyway!”

    Kaylie scratched the side of her face. “That was last week…”
    Hahaha, that made me chuckle.

    “Height, about 5’ 10”. Weight, around 120 lbs,” Jayden whispered to himself.
    Jeeeze Jayden's skinny.

    Like you said, not much of an action chapter. I know you're a bajillion lightyears ahead of me but I will catch up, I swear. I can't wait for my next read!
    I am not worried, Harry. I am with you.



    ^This is my new fanfic. It's a work in progress, so please read and comment at your discretion. I hope you like it. I think you will.

    Many, many thanks to Mew, who created this exceptional banner!

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  8. #83
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    New computer coming in next week! Finally after all this time I'll be able to get a new computer next week. That means more Hero's Bond! By next Friday chapter 18 will be up and I'll be back and better than ever. Look forward to it.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  9. #84
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    The long awaited chapter 18 is here! I thought it would have been longer than it actually is, but it's relatively short. I get the point across though so that's always good! Plot mode, activate! If you want to get a feel of the mood of the chapter before reading then you can check out this song here.

    Chapter 18: Burning Passion

    Loud explosions filled the air as lights appearing in the sky in the form of different shapes. Bright reds and greens flashed across the sky, reflecting off the water in various fountains above Goldenrod. Sitting in front of a large crowd, Jayden, Kaylie, Lorin, and Hope all watched the show in awe. Once the lights slowly started to fade, a familiar woman with pink hair jumped onto a stage that had been constructed in the middle of Goldenrod not long after the attack from the Black Organization.

    “I hope you all enjoyed the fireworks!” Whitney exclaimed into a microphone. The crowd responded with thunderous applause, whistles and cheers accompanying it. “This festival might not have been possible without the help of two very brave trainers! I’d like to introduce Jayden and Hope to everyone! Come on up to the stage guys!”

    Hope jumped out of her seat and ran to the stage, a large smile on her face. Jayden on the other hand stood from his spot sheepishly, slightly blushing. Once he was on stage his legs began to shake nervously. His friend was completely fine, waving at the crowd and even taking bows.

    “These two protected Goldenrod from the Black Organization,” Whitney explained. “With their help, they pushed that crime syndicate out of our city and back to the sewers where they belong!”

    At the last word the crowd began to cheer even louder. Everyone began to jump out of their seats, some walking to the stage to shake Jayden and Hope’s hand while others snapped pictures. Motioning towards the streets, Whitney winked at Kaylie, glancing at Jayden quickly. The lights in the streets quickly lit up, showing different stands stationed around the city.

    “Uh, hey Jay,” Kaylie called nervously.

    “Yeah?” Jayden replied, jumping down from the stage quickly, still blushing a little bit.

    “Wanna go check out the festival?” she asked, not able to look at him, her face beginning to turn pink.

    “Sure thing. Anything to get the attention off of me.”

    Grabbing his arm, Kaylie pulled Jayden off into the city, disappearing from Hope and Lorin’s sight. “So I guess we have to go off by ourselves too,” Lorin said seductively. “Maybe we’ll fall in love like them.”

    “Dream on lover boy,” Hope said with a laugh, pushing Lorin lightly.

    Chuckling, Lorin placed his hands into his pockets as he watched Hope walk off. “Yeah, she wants me.”

    ---------------------------------------

    “You did really well in your gym battle against Whitney. I always heard she was super strong. I guess that makes you that much stronger.”

    “Thanks. The only reason I won was because of the extra training you helped me with.”

    Sitting by a fountain, Jayden took a coin out of his pocket and tossed it, a small splash sounding when it hit the water. Kaylie smiled at the ground, slightly leaning on him. With a sigh, she wrapped her arm around his, the boy starting to blush slightly.

    “I’m glad we decided to take this journey together,” she told him. “I wouldn’t have been able to do this with anyone else or by myself. Thanks Jay.”

    “No problem,” he replied, looking at the sky, his face still red.

    Many people passed by in front of them, a majority holding hands. Looking down at Kaylie, a strange feeling began to blossom in his stomach, one he thought he felt before. Somehow having her right by his side seemed like it was supposed to be. Returning the gaze, Kaylie looked directly into Jayden’s eyes, neither of them blinking. Just as they had before, their faces seemed to attract, inching together ever so slowly. Jayden’s heart increased its beating, his pulse almost deafening him. Just as their lips were about to touch, the sound of a clearing throat made them jump, their heads banging into each other.

    “Ow!” they exclaimed in unison.

    Not too far from where they were sitting stood a boy, slightly taller than Jayden. His eyes were as blue as the daytime sky, if not lighter. Dropping his backpack on the ground, he flipped his hair before holding his arms out for a hug, a large smile on his face. After taking a good look at him, Kaylie jumped up, a gasp barely escaping her lips.

    “Johnie? Is that you?”

    “You know it is!”

    A shocked look on his face, Jayden watched as the two embraced, tightly holding on to each other for a minute. Standing up, Jayden walked over to them looking slightly confused. The boy known as Johnie held out his hand the same smile on his face.

    “The name’s Johnie!” he introduced himself happily.

    “Jayden. Kaylie, how do you know this guy? He’s not from New Bark.”

    “He actually is,” Kaylie corrected him. “Before I started talking to you, I hung out with Johnie here. Then he moved before we were old enough to get our Pokémon. It’s been years!”

    Johnie smiled at Kaylie, putting his arm around her and pulling her towards the fountain. “It’s been a really long time since I’ve seen you and I have to say that you look great.”

    Kaylie could only smile as she began to turn bright pink. Jayden plopped back on the edge of the fountain, his head falling into his hands. Pulling out a Poké Ball, Jayden began to turn it over in his hand, trying to keep his mind off of Kaylie.

    What do I care? thought Jayden. It’s not like I’m in love with her or anything. Why should I care if she drops me like a newborn Girafarig because this tool showed up? I don’t care at all!

    “Jay you’re so funny,” Kaylie said with a chuckle.

    Jayden looked up, his eyebrow raising. “I didn’t say anything though.”

    Without even looking back, Kaylie said, “I was talking to Johnie.”

    I’m the only one she calls Jay! Jayden shook his head, placing both hands into his pockets before starting to walk off.

    “Hey, Jayden was it?” Johnie called. “Don’t go just yet. I want to know what kind of people Kaylie is associating with now. Come, tell me about yourself!”

    “Where do I begin?” Jayden put his hand to his chin as he began to think. “I’m nice, caring, thoughtful, and a darn good battler if I do say so myself.”

    “Oh so you’re a Pokémon trainer as well?”

    “I’m going to participate in the Silver Conference when I’ve earned eight badges, so I guess you can call me that.”

    Johnie’s eyes narrowed, a smirk slowly spreading across his face. “How many badges do you have?”

    “I have two.” Pulling his badge case from his back pocket, Jayden flipped it open to reveal the two badges that were bestowed upon him. With a chuckle, Johnie pulled out a badge case as well, but when he opened his there were five badges. “Fi-five…”

    “That’s right, five.” Johnie snapped the case shut a cocky smirk still on his face. Kaylie jumped in between them, telling Johnie about how she only had two badges as well and how amazing he was for being so far ahead of them. Slightly shaking, Jayden began to walk off, his head beginning to feel hot.

    Not even thinking, he began to quickly walk back towards the Pokémon Center, pushing through any crowd on his way. Kaylie looked after him worriedly, sighing as she turned to Johnie.

    “I’m sorry Johnie, but I have to go see what’s wrong with him,” she told Johnie.

    “No problem. I’ll be in town for the next few days. I’m sure I’ll see you at the Pokémon Center.” With a quick hug, Kaylie turned and ran after Jayden. Meanwhile, Johnie put his right hand to his ear, a bead of sweat trickling down his temple. “It’s done. I know where Kayli- I mean the target is. She’s in Goldenrod City for the festival and should be here for the duration of it. I’ve done what you asked; now you hold up your end and let me go.”

    “In due time young Johnie,” a voice said in his ear. It was soft and smooth, almost alluring. There was a hint of malice in the undertone as they spoke. It was obvious the voice belonged to a woman by the sultry nature, the pitch being too high for a man. “We still need you for one last assignment.”

    “And what is that?” Johnie asked irritated, trying to keep his voice down.

    “Oh you know a fun little mission.”

    “Tell me the details right now!”

    “Now that’s rude. If you ask nicely I will.”

    Johnie looked around, groaning a bit before finally giving in. “…will you please tell me the details?”

    -------------------------------------------

    Speed walking down an alley, Jayden smashed his hand into the wall, shouting a curse as he did so. Kaylie stumbled into the alley soon after, a look of bewilderment on her face. Not looking at her, Jayden pushed himself against the wall, looking down at the ground instead.

    “What was that?” she asked.

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

    “Your dramatic exit from our, well, for lack of a better word, date.”

    “I don’t think I was being dramatic considering you were fawning over your friend, ‘Jayyyyy’!” Jayden used air-quotes and put much emphasis on the Jay. “I thought I was the only Jay. I thought WE were hanging out and spending time together.”

    “Okay first of all, you’re not the only person I know whose name begins with the letter J! Secondly, I hadn’t seen him in years so it’s only natural that I react the way I did! You’re being worse than a girl right now!”

    Without so much as a word, Jayden continued to walk down the alley, his eyes focused on the ground. “Kaylie, I have very strange feelings for you and I’m not exactly sure what they are yet. Maybe we shouldn’t push anything past being friends.”

    “Fine Jayden,” she said, a tear starting to travel down her face. Breaking off her chin, the small droplet of water hit the ground with a tiny splash. That small splash seemed to signal the clouds above to release the enormous amounts of water that composed them. First it was slow and a few drops of rain fell, but a few seconds later it became a downpour. Running off, Kaylie covered her face, trying to hide the fact that she was crying even though the rain did just that. Jayden looked up into the sky, letting the rain hit his face. A single tear fell out of his eye as well, falling into a small puddle beneath him.

    “I think I’m just afraid to admit it to myself,” Jayden said with a chuckle, talking to no one. “I might be in love with you. Crazy right?”

    Walking off, Jayden put his hands into his pocket once more, wandering through the streets of Goldenrod with no direction. Above, on the rooftops, a man with binoculars spotted him. With a large grin he showed off one gold tooth, a raspy chuckle following.

    “Jayden Sector, you’ve been found by CLOUD...”
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  10. #85
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    Great chapter!, it was short BUT because it was short it made me fell so anticipated for the next. The ending left me in sooo much suspense!! Can't wait for the next

    Pat.
    Credit to Astral Shadow for the icon and SwornMetalhead for the banner.

  11. #86
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    Hi, I have been reading your fic and decide to make a few comments.
    Your battels are in-depth, i can almost see the battel in front of me. I also nottecid that your stroy slowed down witch is great (I noticed it was a littel faster in the begining). I did not notice any grammer errors in the newest chapter(didn't look for any). Great fic and chapter by the way.

  12. #87
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    Finally! Chapter 19 is here! After this chapter I should get back into the regular swing of things and have a consistent release schedule. This chapter here was very emotional and somewhat saddening for me to write. You'll see why. Review when you can. Enjoy!


    Chapter 19: Broken

    “Where’s Jayden?”

    “Don’t know, don’t care.”

    “Maybe we should look for him. It looks like a storm is rolling in. It’s not safe to be outside.”

    “Once again, I don’t care.”

    Slamming her face into a pillow, Kaylie flopped onto a bed in their room in the Pokémon Center, groaning as she lay there. From the doorway Hope shook her head, quietly shutting the door behind her. Trainers crammed the hall making it difficult for her to maneuver towards the elevator. All of them had been drenched from the rain, taking refuge inside the center. Finally reaching the elevator, Hope pushed the down button, tapping her fingers on her leg as she waited. When the doors finally opened, a large crowd of about ten exited. One man stood out to Hope. He smiled at her, a single gold tooth shining in his mouth. As he passed her time seemed to slow, her eyes fixed on the man.

    “Hey wait,” Hope called out, taking a step towards him. Before she could reach out and stop him, the crowd pushed her onto the elevator. The doors slowly shut, the man disappearing into the hall.

    Once the doors opened again, Hope had no choice but to follow the crowd into the lobby. The Pokémon Center was dark, no light escaping through the dark storm clouds. Heavy rain came down on Goldenrod, making it near impossible to see what was in front of you. After a deep breath, Hope ran out through the sliding glass doors. The second she stepped out, she was drenched. People and Pokémon alike rushed passed her in search of some kind of shelter. Running up to a man, Hope grabbed him by the arm and pulled him close.

    “Have you seen a boy about my age?” she asked. “He’s about a head taller than me with black hair. Really skinny.”

    The man simply shook his head before hurrying off into a nearby building. Looking all around her, Hope tried to make out her surroundings, but the rain made the task difficult. All the younger trainers looked like Jayden in the hard rain. Continuing on, the young woman checked the stage area they were at just a few hours before. Even in the rain the construction crew was hard at work taking everything down.

    “Hey there! Young lady!” a man called out. Turning around, Hope saw one of the construction workers running up to her with a long object in his hand. “You can catch a cold being out here in the rain. Take this umbrella.”

    “But don’t you need it?” she asked, not sure if she should take it.

    “Don’t worry about me. I’ll just share one with my buddies.”

    The man smiled wide, his teeth gleaming, even in the dark, gloomy rain. Hope smiled back as she took the umbrella. Something about the man’s kind gesture warmed her up. The cold feeling the rain gave her was instantly gone. With their goodbyes said, Hope popped open the umbrella, smiling still. Traversing towards the downtown area, people became even scarcer than they already were.

    “Where are you Jayden?” Hope whispered.

    A figure in an alleyway caught her attention. She could make out the figure of a young man sitting against a wall, staring into the clouds. A look of sorrow covered his face, the black hair he possessed now coming down to his chin. His green eyes seemed empty, no life behind them. Hope rushed over, confirming her suspicions.

    “What are you doing all the way out here Jayden?” Without a word, Jayden just looked up at Hope. She could feel the sadness that overwhelmed him. Holding the umbrella above his head as well, Hope offered her hand, a smile on her face. “Let’s get you out of this rain okay?”

    Jayden pushed her hand away, standing up on his own. “I’m fine.” Turning away, he placed his hands in his pockets. Looking back at the sky he sighed. Closing his eyes, Jayden let the raindrops hit his face. “It’s as if the heavens weep for me.”

    “We need to get out of the rain before we get sick. Let’s go back to our room.”

    “I can’t go back there just yet, especially if Kaylie is there.”

    Hope rolled her eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh. “You two need to just kiss already. I can feel the tension building up and it gets really awkward when only Lorin and I are talking.”

    Jayden chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s far too complicated to be settled with a simple kiss.”

    “That’s because you’ve been friends since you were kids right?”

    Staying silent, Jayden just looked into the clouds, a single ray of light breaking through as the rain began to let up. Memories began to pour into his mind; memories of Kaylie and his friends.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

    “Have a great first day of school son. I’ll be here to pick you up when you get out.”

    Nervously turning towards the schoolhouse, a boy of around six slowly began to walk through small crowds of other children, making his way to the front door. Clutching his small bag tightly, the boy gulped down the pool of saliva in his mouth. The school was fairly large, having three floors in total. As the boy looked up he felt a tap on his shoulder, slightly flinching.

    “Hiya,” said the boy who tapped him, oddly cheerful. “My names Burton! What’s yours?”

    “Um, Jayden,” the other whispered, looking at the ground.

    “How old are you Jayden?” Burton asked, his cheerfulness still present.

    “I’m…um, six.”

    “Then you’re going to be in the same class with me and Marshall! You’ll meet him later. He’s been my bestest friend for as long as I can remember.”

    A loud bell sounded through the entire schoolyard, signaling that class was about to start. All the kids began to migrate into the school, going into their respective classrooms. Burton dragged Jayden down the hall by his jacket collar to a classroom at the end.

    The wooden door had a glass window that wasn’t completely translucent, warping the appearance of anything inside. When the boys entered, Jayden saw they were the only ones there. Fifteen desks took up most of the space in the room with a larger one on the opposite side of the room.

    “Sit with me right there!” Burton pointed to two desks in the middle of the room, a pen and notebook already on one. “I came here earlier and the teacher let me in. I don’t know where she went though.”

    Jayden quietly walked to the desk next to Burton’s and set his bag on the floor next to him, taking his seat. Jumping into his seat, Burton just smiled at Jayden, no words being exchanged. A few minutes after they arrived, more people began to show, the room slowly filling up, all desks but a few being taken. Burton’s friend, Marshall was the last to show, taking his seat next to them.

    A small chatter started once all the kids realized the teacher was not around. Not very long after the kids started to talk a tall woman opened the door, placing on foot in the classroom. Her very presence instantly shut them up. Her appearance wasn’t threatening in the slightest. She wore her black hair back in a tight ponytail, not a single hair askew. Her heels made next to no noise as she walked to the front. Straightening her glasses, she looked down at a paper on her desk, a smile appearing on her face.

    “Tell me…”she started. The kids all leaned forward, anticipating her next words. “Who’s ready for a great year?!”

    Most of the kids cheered while the rest were slightly confused. The chatter returned as the teacher beamed at them, scanning over the crowd. Jayden felt that she was looking for someone to call on and decided to try and hide his face with his hands.

    “Please not me…anyone but me…” Jayden whispered to himself.

    “You!” the teacher called over everyone else, the noise dying down. Jayden could feel her finger pointing at him. He KNEW she picked him. “You in the green jacket. Come to the front.”

    Shocked, Jayden took a look at his jacket and saw that it wasn’t green. Was she color blind? His jacket was red. Looking up, Jayden saw that she didn’t point at him, but Burton’s friend instead. With a sigh of relief, Jayden slouched back in his chair, wiping a small part of his black hair out of his face.

    “I want you to introduce yourself to your classmates with a little bit about yourself, such as where you were born and then tell us what you want to do when you grow up,” the teacher instructed. “Then you can pick someone else to do the same. Once we get through everyone we’ll start a new activity.”

    “I don’t know how I should start though,” Marshall told her.

    “You always want to start with your name. I’ll go first. I am Miss Edwards, your teacher. I’m already a grown up, but I want to travel to the Unova region someday. They have many exotic Pokémon there that I’d love to get a picture of! Now it’s your turn.”

    “My name is Marshall Port!” he said happily. “I was born in Fuchsia City in the Kanto region. I want to become a coordinator when I’m older, but I also want to catch super strong Pokémon for my team so we win everything!”

    “It seems like your dream is going to be a tough one to achieve, but still very possible,” Miss Edwards commented. “Now choose who goes next.”

    “My best buddy Burton!” he said.

    Burton darted towards the front of the room, straightening his jacket in the process. “My name is Burton Avery! I was born here in New Bark Town and just like Marshall I want to be a coordinator. But I know that you need pretty Pokémon to win. I want to be able to groom my Pokémon until they look their very best!”

    At the end of his sentence he simply pointed at Jayden. The boy’s heart sank when he saw Burton pick him out. He instantly turned red, slowly making his way to the front. Looking down at his feet, Jayden began to mumble, his words inaudible to the rest of the class.

    “Sorry,” Miss Edwards said, cutting him off, “but you’ll have to speak up. We can’t hear you.”

    Taking a deep breath, Jayden looked up at the class, determined to get through his first day without looking like a fool. “My name is Jayden Sector. I was born in New Bark. Uh, I, um. I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, but I know I want to be around Pokémon.”

    “It’s okay to not have a goal right now Jayden,” Miss Edwards said. “You have quite a while to think about it. Who’s next?”

    Without really looking, Jayden pointed, hurrying back to his seat. Burton patted him on the back, whispering something to him that didn’t register in his mind. Over the course of the next ten minutes the rest of class began to introduce themselves, all with different aspirations of becoming doctors, professors, breeders, and even dancers. Finally, one person was left to go. It was a girl in the front. Her long brown hair trailed behind her as she walked to the center by Miss Edwards. For some reason Jayden wanted to hear what she had to say.

    “My name is Kaylie Janson,” she said. “I was born here just like most of you. When I grow up I will have beaten all the gym leaders in the Johto region, beaten all my opponents in the Silver Conference, and then become Champion.”

    Jayden was slightly taken aback. She spoke as if she knew for a fact that there would be no one to contest what she said. Everyone stared in awe, the sheer arrogance taking their words away.

    “Determination and confidence is one thing,” Miss Edwards informed the class, “but arrogance and a big ego can result from it. When you start towards your goals do not lose hope because you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Now onto the next activity.”

    “Man that girl is something else right?” Burton whispered to Jayden and Marshall.

    “At least she has a goal,” Marshall whispered back.

    Jayden looked away, trying to listen to the teacher, but now his attention was drawn to Kaylie. There was something about her that attracted his mind. Kaylie looked back at Jayden, a smile drawing itself across her face. She waved, but Jayden quickly looked away. A little saddened, Kaylie slowly lowered her hand.

    I wonder why he didn’t wave back, she thought. He’s probably just nervous. I’ll catch him after school then.

    The rest of the day seemed to fly by. All they did that day was learn more about one another. Jayden had the misfortune of being paired up with Marshall for an activity in which they had to figure out what Pokémon they were with only gestures. Marshall kept yapping, “No goal.” Once the bell rang, Jayden grabbed his bag and hurried out the door. Kaylie quickly followed, trying to catch up.

    “Hey,” she called after him.

    Jayden turned, his heart beating faster when he saw that she was smiling again. “Uh, h-hi.”

    “Jayden right?” she asked. Reaching down she grabbed his hand and shook it. “My name is Kaylie just in case you didn’t remember.”

    “I didn’t,” Jayden said coldly, pulling his hand back before running off.

    Kaylie just stood there, watching as he ran off. Kicking the ground she sat against the wall, letting out a sigh. “Boys are dumb.”

    -/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

    “Mine got way farther than yours did!”

    “Then watch this!”

    Soon the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months and so. Before Jayden realized it, six years had passed by. Sticking with the people he met on the first day of school proved to be a wise choice. Not only were they still friends, but they remained loyal the entire duration.

    “Sorry Marshall, but skipping rocks isn’t exactly something you’re good at.” Jayden chuckled slightly as he picked up a small stone.

    Marshall sighed, wiping his forearm across his brow. “I’ll beat you someday. You’ll see.”

    There had been no clouds in the sky that day, the sun harshly beaming down on them. A soft breeze blew over them every now and again, offering a tiny amount of relief. Taking a seat on the ground at the edge of the small pond Jayden looked across the water, a small humming noise reaching his ears.

    “What the hell is that?” Marshall asked, trying to find the source.

    “It sounds like some bug Pokémon,” Jayden guessed. “Either that or a large ship.”

    Coming out from the trees on the opposite side of the pond was a large group of creatures that resembled enlarged dragonflies. Their wings beat so fast it was impossible to see them actually moving. They flew right over the two boys, a large cloud of dust picking up.

    “Talk about some rude Yanma!” Marshall said between coughs.

    “Hey guys!” a voice called from behind them.

    Both of them turned their heads to see Burton and Kaylie walking towards them. Kaylie instantly smiled when she saw Jayden, trying to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. Jayden groaned, standing once they reached them.

    “What are you guys doing all the way out here?” Burton asked.

    “Marshall thought he was better at skipping rocks so I had to prove him wrong,” explained Jayden.

    With a quick flick of his wrist, Jayden launched the stone he had across the lake. After skipping about seven times it sank. Frustrated, Marshall picked up a small stone and chucked it at the pond. With one bounce, it sank faster than Jayden’s.

    “Looks like Jayden was right,” Kaylie said with a chuckle.

    “So are we still on for the plan?” Burton asked with excitement in his eyes.

    “Wait, what plan?” asked Kaylie, slightly confused.

    “Nothing that concerns you,” Jayden said coolly. “I say we go for it. We won’t get another chance like it.”

    Both Burton and Marshall nodded their heads in agreement. Still unaware of what they were talking about, Kaylie stayed silent, waiting for them to explain. When no one said anything to her, Kaylie let out an exasperated sigh, storming off in the direction of the living district.

    “Good riddance. I didn’t think that would actually work.” Jayden smiled, watching Kaylie as she walked off angrily.

    “You should really give her a chance man,” Burton told him. There was a look of concern on his face, possibly due to the fact that Kaylie’s treatment from Jayden had gotten worse over the years. “She’s a really nice girl and actually super cool. I’m surprised you don’t like her. She’s almost just like you.”

    Jayden scoffed, launching another stone across the lake. Marshall smirked, chuckling a bit. “Maybe he really likes her and doesn’t want her to know,” he said. “So he treats her like crap to hide it.”

    “You couldn’t be more wrong Marshall,” said Jayden. He is wrong isn’t he?

    “Let’s get out of here guys,” suggested Burton. “We’ve got an exam in the morning to study for.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

    “Now try to be civil. If you’re lucky she’ll be asleep.”

    Pushing the door open to their room at the Pokémon Center, Hope poked her head in, scanning for any sign of Kaylie. A large red poof was on the top bunk of one of the beds, a slight moaning noise emanating from it.

    “Well Lorin is here,” Hope observed as she took a step in. “And Kaylie is…”

    Just as she spoke, the door to the next room opened. Kaylie stood in the doorway, fixed in place. When Jayden stepped in their eyes instantly met, neither one uttering a single word. Hope quickly walked to the bed under Lorin’s and took a seat.

    “…Can I talk to you?” Kaylie asked after an entire minute of silence.

    “…Of course,” replied Jayden.

    The door quietly shut behind them, the lock clicking in place. The next room was very much like the first minus the beds. In their place were desks. Kaylie leaned up against one of the desks, staring at the ground, trying to find a place to start.

    “I know what you’re going to say,” Jayden started, putting his hand by Kaylie’s mouth to silence her. “I’m sorry Kaylie. I should have told you before about how confused I was. I mean we weren’t the best of friends growing up, but now we’re traveling across Johto together and occasionally running into your psychotic brother who tried to kill me.”

    Kaylie chuckled, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Wiping it away, Jayden placed his hand on her cheek, lightly rubbing it.

    “Now you’ve become more than a friend and I don’t know if I’m ready for that. At times I tell myself that I definitely am and I summon the guts to tell you, but then once we’re face to face I lose all those guts and feel like I did the first day I met you.”

    “Jayden…I’ve been in love with you ever since the day I saw you gather the courage to introduce yourself to the class,” said Kaylie, her breath shaky. “I knew that it was completely out of your comfort zone, but you still did it and without any fear of being judged. I was always drawn to you and couldn’t stop smiling when I was around you. Soon, you became the reason I went to school. You’re the reason I want to get stronger. Then I can protect you like you did with me when Alexander attacked you.”

    Jayden slowly withdrew his hand. Before he knew it, Kaylie wrapped her arms around his neck, her face in his chest. Even though it was silent, he knew she was crying. And he knew the reason she was sobbing.

    I can’t be with you. I have to leave, go my own way.

    It was in the back of his mind the entire time. A single tear rolled down his cheek, breaking off his chin and hitting the ground, going unnoticed. When Kaylie finally let go, Jayden opened the door, silently grabbed his bag, and walked out of the room. Unable to hold herself up anymore, Kaylie fell to the floor, her breathing unstable and shallow. Tears still flowed out of her eyes as memories of her journey with Jayden came flooding back; all the good times as well as the bad, all of her feelings, and all of their experiences. They hit her like a ton of bricks. Closing her eyes, she only saw Jayden’s fading image before darkness enveloped everything.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  13. #88
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    Nice chapter. Good leght and all. But it was just a filler.
    Evrey one hates flashbacks, but they are cool
    Thanks for the PM!

  14. #89
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    Well, romance... It reminds me of a joke I heard from a comedian. Another time maybe. In real life I've never really been one for lovey-dovey guy/girl drama. It's funny when my friends go head- over-heels for a girl and she's not impressed. I just try to be gentlemanly and go out of my way for girls. It seems to be working so far.
    As for the chapter it's good that you're back. Why is Jayden leaving? Sorry, I forgot why.
    I have:
    Platinum
    Heartgold
    White
    Black
    Rumble Blast
    White 2

    I used to liek mudkipz, then I took an arrow in the knee. However the arrow turned out to be a seaking. It yelled "F*** yeah" so I screamed "FUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!". The seaking's face became that of a troll while mine became forever alone. The situation was super effective.

  15. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3D992 View Post
    Well, romance... It reminds me of a joke I heard from a comedian. Another time maybe. In real life I've never really been one for lovey-dovey guy/girl drama. It's funny when my friends go head- over-heels for a girl and she's not impressed. I just try to be gentlemanly and go out of my way for girls. It seems to be working so far.
    As for the chapter it's good that you're back. Why is Jayden leaving? Sorry, I forgot why.
    It's because of the complications that are caused when they are together. First they're fine, then they're fighting. This time it escalated to the point where she ran away crying. Now do you understand?
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  16. #91
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    Sorry it took me so long buddy

    One man stood out to Hope. He smiled at her, a single gold tooth shining in his mouth. As he passed her time seemed to slow, her eyes fixed on the man.
    I like little physical tidbits like that, and I totally know what Hope meany by time seemed to slow. I see people with odd and distinct characteristics like that sometimes, and the more I stare they longer they seem to take to walk by me lol

    Something about the man’s kind gesture warmed her up. The cold feeling the rain gave her was instantly gone.
    I liked that portion quite a bit too. I don't think enough people write about transference of emotions through physical actions and I for one experience them a lot. Nicely done

    “It’s as if the heavens weep for me.”
    I'm not really sure what you could replace that with, but I did feel like that line was a bit too overly theatrical

    As the boy looked up he felt a tap on his shoulder, slightly flinching.
    I would say that this reads better if you put flinching slightly, instead of the other

    “So he treats her like crap to hide it.”
    Lmao, once again I liked that you called in the reality of that very real situation. I grew out of doing that around thirteen but some of my friends have yet to follow me. I liked it, and you seem to have a pretty good handle on the speech/reaction between Jayden and Kaylie at that age.

    “Jayden…I’ve been in love with you ever since the day I saw you gather the courage to introduce yourself to the class,” said Kaylie
    SHE FINALLY SAYS IT!!

    All in all, I enjoyed the chapter very much. The flashback was a nice touch, and I enjoyed seeing Marshall less confident in his speaking than I usually do. Anyway, I'm somewhat surprised at how fast Jayden is coming into his own but I suppose it's to be expected after what's he's been through. My only suggestion would be to try drawing these kind of extreme emotional changes out just a tad bit slower. Other than that I enjoyed myself and I look forward to the next installment

    An Ancient Treasure, a Terrible Price. Take the Risk, Eat the World
    (Final Chapter added 05-15-2014)

    -Thanks to PopPrincess_Lyra for the banner above, and Sworn Metalhead for the banner below -


    All Hail the Six Kings...
    Chapter One added (12-07-2014)

  17. #92
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    Back from the dead! Shadow Lucario is here with the twentieth chapter of Hero's Bond! I consider this a milestone because I feel most journey fics don't make it this far and here I am at twenty chapters with a great reviewing team. I thank you guys. Here it is the twentieth installment! Enjoy!

    Chapter 20: Dedication through Light and Darkness

    The sky, so full of clouds had not been visible for quite some time. Anytime Kaylie looked up she would remember the rain from the day Jayden left. She would remember how cold she felt. The sky looked exactly the same in Ecruteak as it did in Goldenrod. It was as if the sun had decided to disappear. All warmth slowly began to be drained from her body, leaving only the cold emptiness that left her nearly emotionless.

    “We’ll run into him,” Hope said nearly every day. Her efforts in trying to cheer Kaylie up had somewhat worked, the belief that Jayden would someday turn up instilled in her mind.

    “We’ll stay with you all the way,” Lorin assured her just as much. The comfort Kaylie’s friends offered her made the separation bearable, constantly putting a smile on her face.

    “Jayden…” Kaylie would whisper. “Please be safe…”

    Wiping her brow, Kaylie exited a large wooden building, a Gastly sitting atop the structure. The word, “Gym” was scrawled on a sign next to the Pokémon. Looking at her Poké Ball, she let out a sigh.

    “Morty was tougher than I thought, but we still beat him guys.” Tossing her ball in the air, Kaylie slowly began to stroll around the small city.

    Compared to Goldenrod, Ecruteak was much smaller, being only a third of the size. All the buildings were made of wood, showing how long they had been there. Only the Pokémon Center was made of stone, being built much later than all the other buildings. Even the roads were all cobblestone, cement sidewalks on both sides.

    Running into the Pokémon Center, Kaylie went straight to the elevator, pushing the up button as much as possible. Once she reached the third floor, she sprinted down the hallway to the last room, throwing the door open.

    “Morty is defeated,” she exclaimed once she entered.

    “Great job,” Hope congratulated, jumping up from one of the beds.

    “He was a great challenge though,” Kaylie admitted. “When he sent in Gengar I thought I was done for, but Croconaw really pulled through. Where’s Lorin at?”

    Hope made a motion towards the bathroom at the opposite end of the entrance. Without even asking Kaylie knew exactly what was going on. With a chuckle, she walked to the bed Hope was sitting on, laying back with her hands covering her eyes.

    “Did those Miltank burgers from that restaurant give you the runs?” Kaylie asked loudly. Hope tried her best to stifle a laugh, but she couldn’t hold it all in.

    “Don’t you make fun of me!” they heard from the other side of the door. “I told you guys there was something weird about that place!”

    Busting out laughing, Kaylie quickly sat upright, clenching her stomach. “I didn’t know your stomach was so weak! If I knew that then I would have suggested somewhere else!”

    After five minutes the sound of the toilet flushing was heard, the door swinging open soon after. Lorin stepped out, a relieved look on his face. Without a word, Lorin climbed into the other bed, hiding under the blankets.

    “So I did as you asked,” Hope said, sitting next to Kaylie. The latter simply nodded, waiting for what she had to say next. “The sages at the Brass Tower said that a person that looked a lot like what I described WAS here a few days ago. Thing is we don’t know which way he went.”

    “He could have gone either east or west right?” Kaylie asked.

    “Exactly. Olivine City is to the southwest of here and Mahogany Town is east. They both have Pokémon gyms, but Olivine is a port city so I would say that’s our best bet. People like him tend to gravitate towards more populated areas.”

    “Tomorrow we set out,” Kaylie told her friends. “That’s when we start our search for him. I will find you. Just you wait…Alexander!”

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    With the city once again on their backs, the three young trainers started their trek towards Olivine City. With a farewell kiss, Lorin tightened the straps on his backpack. Hope constantly rolled a Poké Ball over in her hand as if she were expecting something to happen. A focused look on her face, Kaylie stared straight ahead, looking for any sign of her brother having traveled on the road. A few trainers passed them here and there, but none of them set off any alarms.

    “Let’s stop at that center ahead,” Lorin suggested, a large building a few hundred feet away.

    As they approached the door, Hope stopped, looking it over for a brief second. Kaylie and Lorin turned, waiting for Hope. “Everything okay?” Kaylie asked.

    “Yeah…” Hope replied. “I just got this off feeling. It’s probably nothing.”

    When they entered the center, Hope received another off feeling. The overall atmosphere threw her senses out of whack. Nearly every person in the center was sitting at a table by themselves with a hood up. Behind the counter where a Joy normally stood was a man, a cigarette in his mouth. He had his hairy forearms rested on the counter, a smile appearing on his face when the three trainers entered.

    “How may I help you?” he asked, taking a puff of his cigarette. His voice was deep and booming, easily echoing to them at the entrance.

    “We’re just trying to find someone,” Kaylie replied, her eyes darting all around the room.

    “And who are you looking for?” the man asked. “My friends and I may be able to help.”

    A few men stood up, wicked grins on their faces. The three friends backed into each other, each one keeping an eye on a different person. Their shared nervousness hung over them like a rain cloud. Lorin reached for his belt, his fingertips barely touching the top of a Poké Ball. The men moved even closer, each one of them wearing a depraved expression. Kaylie snatched a Poké Ball from her belt, holding it up for them to show.

    “There’s no need for that Kaylie,” a voice said from a nearby table.

    The man stood, taking down his hood. A shocked look took over Kaylie’s face once she saw the dirty blond hair. Even though it had been styled in a spiky fashion this time, she knew exactly who it was.

    “None of these chumps are going to lay a hand on my sister!”

    The group of advancing men slowly returned to their tables, grunting and cursing under their breath. The man at the counter let out a wheezy laugh before taking another puff of his cigarette. “So this is the little sister you were talking about Alex? I should have known. You look exactly alike!”

    “Hardly,” Alexander scoffed. “So what are you doing here little sis?”

    “We came looking for you!” Kaylie spat, all three of the trainers drawing a Poké Ball.

    “And why would you need me for?” Alexander grinned. Confidence was written all over his expression, a single Poké Ball between his fingertips.

    All eyes had been placed on the four trainers at the entrance. The tension was so high one could see the fumes coming from Lorin’s head. The red head jumped forward, launching his Poké Ball. His Charmeleon emerged, releasing a barrage of fireballs towards Alexander. The man quickly jumped back, tossing his own ball. With a loud thud, Tyranitar appeared, the floorboards beneath him cracking. Swinging his tail, Tyranitar pushed Charmeleon back to his trainer, an uninterested look on the Dark type’s face.

    “You can’t act on your own Lorin!” Kaylie scolded.

    “She’s right,” Hope agreed. “He’d tear you apart. Noctowl!”

    Two more streams of light hit the ground, taking the form of Noctowl and a blue Pokémon that resembled Totodile. It was much larger than Totodile, its jaw nearly double the size. Running a quick hand across his red mohawk, the Pokémon smirked.

    “Croconaw, hit Tyranitar with Water Gun!” Kaylie shouted.

    With a wink at Tyranitar, Croconaw charged forward, his head low. Tyranitar swiped at the Water type, but he was too fast. A spurt of water hit Tyranitar in the face, causing him to stumble backwards. Shaking it off, the Dark type slammed his tail on the ground. Taking off, Noctowl flew up, rocketing towards Tyranitar. Swinging his arms as if he were swatting flies, Tyranitar continuously missed Noctowl as the bird Pokémon flew around his head.

    “Now Aqua Tail!” yelled Kaylie.

    “Sorry little sister,” Alexander said with a chuckle. “Cheap tricks like that won’t work.”

    A small amount of water swirled around Croconoaw’s tail as he jumped towards Alexander’s Pokémon. With two swift movements, Tyranitar grabbed both Noctowl and Croconaw, shocking both of them. An orb of orange energy began to charge in his mouth, both of the opposite Pokémon struggling to get free. Before they could wriggle lose, Tyranitar unleashed the energy, blasting both of them into the opposite wall. The Pokémon hit the ground, slowly getting up. Noctowl shook the pain off and flew back to Hope’s side while Croconaw limped forward, holding his right arm.

    “Damn!” Kaylie cursed under her breath. “His Tyranitar is too strong! The three of us can’t take him!”

    “There must be some way,” said Lorin. “No one is without a weakness. We just need to find out his.”

    “He’s fast, strong, and equally calculating,” Hope observed. “If we do find out what that weakness is then he’ll just find a way to cover that weakness.”

    Tyranitar let out a small roar, telling them how impatient he was getting. Alexander chuckled, his arms crossed. He stared across at them, an unflinching look in his eye. Kaylie grunted, shouting a command at Croconaw. Alexander simple nodded at Tyranitar. The Dark type swung his tail at Croconaw in an attempt to trip him. Being small and nimble, Croconaw simply leapt over it. A jet of water shot out from his mouth, hitting Tyranitar square in the chest. Taking a few steps back, Tyranitar growled in pain. Small stones appeared around Tyranitar in the form of an X, rocketing towards Croconaw. Just before they could connect, the stones stopped in midair, a blue aura surrounding them. With a screech, Noctowl flapped his wings towards Tyranitar, his eyes glowing blue as well. The stones collided with Tyranitar, making the Rock type stumble backwards.

    “Interesting…” Alexander mumbled, his face taking on a serious look.

    “You never take us seriously because you can take us out in one hit,” Kaylie shouted, “but if we can change the pattern of our attacks there is no way you can beat us!”

    “Congrats, little sister, on being able to do significant damage to Tyranitar,” Alexander said as he clapped his hands. “This is the second time he’s taken anything more than a scratch. So it looks like we’ll have to end this little battle before it goes too far. Tyranitar! Fire the Hyper Beam!”

    Regaining his balance, Tyranitar began to charge a ball of orange energy in his mouth. Croconaw retreated back to Noctowl and Charmeleon, a bead of sweat hanging off his jaw. Looking around frantically, Kaylie tried to figure out a way to counter Tyranitar’s attack. Alexander turned around as the ball fired into a beam, heading straight for the opposing team.

    “Charmeleon, Flamethrower!” Lorin shouted.

    “Croconaw, Water Gun!” Kaylie commanded.

    In a last ditch effort, both Charmeleon and Croconaw launched streams of their respective elements. The attacks collided with great force, a loud bang exploding through the building when they hit. Inch by inch, Tyranitar’s energy began to overpower the starter Pokémons’. A smirk slowly appeared on Alexander’s face, confidence written all over it.

    “Noctowl, Air Slash!” Hope yelled.

    Flying above the clash, Noctowl shot out a barrage of shockwaves, each one hitting Tyranitar in the back. Slightly flinching from the attack, Tyranitar’s control over the struggle lessened. Seeing this opening, Croconaw and Charmeleon pushed the rest of their energy into their attacks, the water and fire smashing into Tyranitar’s chest. The large Pokémon was thrown into the back wall, the entire building shaking. Slowly sliding down to the ground, Tyranitar lay unconscious. Alexander looked over in shock, his hands trembling. Running to his Pokémon, Alexander picked up Tyranitar’s head.

    “A second…time?” Alexander said, slightly confused.

    Kaylie high fived Lorin, squealing as they recalled their Pokémon. Hope wiped her brow as she sighed. Recalling Tyranitar, Alexander scoffed as he turned towards the back door.

    “Hey wait!” Hope shouted, reaching for him.

    A few men jumped in between her and the man, but Alexander turned around, a fierce look in his eye.

    “What do you want?” he asked.

    “What did you do with my brother?” she asked, a slight tremor in her voice. A tear came to her eye, not daring to roll down her cheek.

    “He’ll be in West City for the battle tournament,” Alexander told her, his attention now on the back door once again. “If you wish to save him then you better head there. You may not like what you find.”

    With those last words, Alexander ran out the back door, not saying a word to Kaylie. Once he was gone, the men smirked as they approached the three trainers. Each one had a grin filled with malice, their intentions ill. The friends’ backs hit each other as the men circled them.

    “No more big brother to protect you,” one of the men said. “You might as well just do as we say so we can avoid doing something we both don’t want to do.”

    “Don’t count on it,” said a familiar voice.

    A quick flash of red appeared in the middle of the circle, a Poké Ball flying out. From the ball emerged a Gastly, small rings shooting from his eyes. When the rings hit the men they all fell asleep instantly, dropping to the floor like flies. Kaylie gasped while Lorin and Hope jumped on their savior.

    “Jayden!” they both cried.

    “I…can’t believe…it,” stuttered Kaylie.

    “Well, believe it! No one is going to harm my friends!”
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  18. #93
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    Rolling right into chapter 21, this is where the plot starts to go into overdrive. This chapter brings back an old group that you may have forgotten about.

    Chapter 21: The Nine

    “So just where have you been?”

    “I’ve been around Ecruteak mostly. I never left the area. I had a feeling that Alexander would come back and my suspicions were right. Good thing you guys handled it without me.”

    “You could have at least tried to back us up! My Charmeleon had nearly passed out from exhaustion!”

    After leaving the makeshift Pokémon Center, the group of, now, four trainers began to walk down the road. Not many trainers were out. The only form of life they passed was the occasional Pokémon and a few trees. Jayden had been pestered by Hope and Lorin to explain just what happened after he left Goldenrod. He simply pushed their questions off, opting to take an occasional glance at Kaylie who had remained quiet the entire time. She couldn’t even bring herself to look in his direction. With a sigh, Jayden looked ahead, a sign only a few feet in front of them. Stopping to read it, Jayden looked back at his friends.

    “This sign says that West City is a few miles away,” he told them. “We’ll be there in about two hours then. Are you ready?” Even though it was a general question, he tried to direct it more towards Hope in a subtle way.

    “My brother is there,” said Hope. “I need to go and rescue him from Team Lustrous!”

    “I’m with you on that Hope!” Lorin added.

    Kaylie stayed silent, staring at the ground. Jayden gritted his teeth, feeling the tension between them. It was obvious to him that Lorin and Hope did not know, but Jayden knew that Kaylie felt the same thing. They hadn’t seen each other in over a month and here he just shows up like it’s nothing. If she had done the same to him, he would probably feel how she does.

    “Listen,” Jayden whispered to Kaylie as Lorin and Hope walked ahead. “I know that my showing up is sudden and all, but we have to work past this for Hope right now. Can we put our eventual talk on hold for a while?”

    “You just don’t understand,” was all Kaylie said before quickening her pace, joining Lorin and Hope ahead of Jayden with tears in her eyes. When asked she said her allergies were causing her eyes to run.

    You’re wrong, Jayden thought. I understand perfectly…

    With many thoughts racing through his head, the next hour and a half seemed like seconds to Jayden. The next time he looked up, he could see skyscrapers in the near distance, the sun shining off the windows. Helicopters circled the city, planes flew in from all over, and large buzzing was heard from the streets even a mile away. It resembled Goldenrod in any ways, being both very large and populated, and the difference in West City being that it was much more modern.

    Walking into the city gave both a familiar and strange vibe. Large and small crowds passed the trainers, every person rushing to a different place with a different colored suit or briefcase. In the rare moment when they weren’t caught in a crowd Lorin dramatically took in a deep breath as if he had been suffocating. When they finally caught sight of the red roof that belonged to the Pokémon Center, they made a beeline towards it.

    “Hold it right there,” a voice said.

    Turning around, they saw a girl of about their age in a black blouse and orange skirt holding her hand out. Her orange eyes pierced their souls, the boys flinching at the sight of them.

    “What do you want?” Hope asked, looking the girl up and down. “And isn’t it a little late for Halloween? Orange and black stockings only look good on October 31st.”

    “Very funny tomboy,” the girl said coldly. “You guys are trainers right? Well you’re going to have to pay to get into the Pokémon Center.”

    “Pay to get in,” Jayden repeated, not believing what he heard. “That’s ridiculous.”

    “If you don’t want to pay then you’ll have to battle me! West Gate Park in an hour. Be there or be a loser. Well I guess you can’t help that.”

    The girl walked right by them into the Pokémon Center, her black hair whipping Lorin in the face, the orange tips nearly touching his eyes. All Lorin could do was stare, his jaw hanging wide open. Jayden scoffed, taking a seat on a bench not too far from the Pokémon Center’s doors. Peering through the glass doors he could see the girl talking to the Nurse Joy, pointing out him and his friends, probably telling her to not let them enter.

    “That was almost annoying,” said Kaylie as they joined Jayden. “I wouldn’t mind giving her the beat down she is asking for.”

    “Ugh!” Hope grunted, a passerby nearly knocking her over as he rushed by. “The faster we beat her, the faster we can find my brother and the faster we can get out of this crowded city.”

    “She was somethin’ eh Jay?” Lorin asked Jayden, his thoughts still on the girl they just met.

    “Something is right,” he replied. “I think I might volunteer to give her that beat down.”

    After asking a few people, the four figured out that the park wasn’t too far from the Pokémon Center. It had been a half mile behind it in the more natural area of the city. The grass was green and the trees’ leaves were the same color. A small group of people were at the park, all waiting on a small hill, carefully watching their every move.

    “Looks like you’re not as big of losers as I thought,” a voice said from behind a tree. The girl from the Pokémon Center stepped out, her orange and black attire easily visible in the green setting. A Poké Ball had been in her hand, her thumb rubbing against it slightly.

    “I’m going to take her,” Hope said, stepping up. She quickly drew her Poké Ball, her eyes narrowing. Her friends took a step back, standing behind a bench a few feet away.

    Hope’s opponent stood in front of another bench about thirty feet from her position. Even with the distance, Hope could see the smirk on her face. With a scowl, Hope tossed her ball into the air, releasing Noctowl.

    “My name is Piper,” she finally introduced herself before tossing her Poké Ball. “And this is my wonderful Lampent!”

    From Piper’s Poké Ball came a creature that resembled a lamp of sorts. Its wavy arms possessed no fingers. The small blue flame in its head flickered as it moved. Noctowl eyed the Pokémon carefully, not exactly sure of what it was.

    “What in the world is that?” Jayden asked, pointing at the Pokémon Piper sent out.

    “No idea,” said Kaylie.

    “Beats me,” added Lorin.

    “This is my Lampent,” Piper repeated. “He’s a Pokémon from a far off land. A land that isn’t for losers. I’ll start off with Ember!”

    Slowly looking upwards, the creature known as Lampent secured Noctowl in his vision, small fireballs shooting from the point in the top of his hat-like extremity. The blue fireballs nearly missed Noctowl. Diving down, Noctowl flapped his wings to stop himself and begin hovering above the ground.

    “Wing Attack,” commanded Hope.

    With his wings glowing, Noctowl shot forwards towards the Fire type. Simply spinning on his pointy bottom, Lampent avoided the attack, more fireballs shooting from the blue flame, this barrage hitting the owl on his back. Noctowl was knocked out of the air, slowly falling. Just before he hit the ground, Noctowl quickly flapped his wings, regaining altitude above Lampent.

    “Don’t let up Lampent!” shouted Piper. “Hit that bird with Fire Spin!”

    “Don’t let it, Noctowl!” yelled Hope.

    The flame inside Lampent began to flicker as a small flame began to form at the tip of his head. Slowly the flame began to grow, becoming much more intense. Noctowl began furiously flapping his wings, shockwaves shooting out towards the Fire type. Each one connected, but did seemingly no damage. With a smirk, Piper pointed at Noctowl, chuckling as she turned her hand upside down, her thumb pointing to the ground. A large spiraling flame shot out from Lampent’s tip, surrounding Noctowl. Anywhere he went, Noctowl was hit by fire.

    “What can she do now?” Kaylie asked worriedly. Lorin and Jayden didn’t reply, both watching the battle with their eyebrows arched.

    “Noctowl use…” Hope choked out, not able to come up with a command.

    “Finish this battle Lampent! Flame Burst!” Piper busted out into laughter as a large, compact ball of fire rocketed towards Noctowl.

    The ball of fire split into multiple streams when it neared Noctowl, the flames raining onto him. The Flying type hit the ground, barely moving. Hope gritted her teeth, watching as her Pokémon attempted to stand, scorch marks all over his body.

    “This battle is over,” Jayden said, stepping up and placing a hand on Hope’s shoulder. “Don’t worry; I’ll take care of this.”

    Hope recalled Noctowl, nodding at Jayden. “Then I leave it to you.”

    “Ready to beat down another one Lampent?” Piper asked her partner. Lampent nodded, a weird jingling noise coming from him.

    “Gastly, stand by for battle!” Jayden shouted as he launched a Poké Ball from his hand. Gastly emerged from the ball, an even larger grin on his face.

    “Lampent show them Flame Burst!” Piper started.

    “Dodge it Gastly,” Jayden said, crossing his arms.

    Once again the ball of fire flew out towards Gastly, separating into individual streams. Before the fire could hit him, Gastly quickly disappeared and reappeared on the other side of the flame, cackling at his opponent.

    “Fire Spin,” commanded Piper.

    “Shadow Ball,” Jayden ordered.

    The spiraling flame once again shot out of Lampent’s hat tip, making its way towards Gastly. In Gastly’s mouth, a small black orb formed. Once it reached the size of a beach ball, it fired, hitting Lampent square in the “chest”. Instantly, the flames vanished. Lampent was unable to hold the attack up any longer. The small Ghost type spun backwards, shocked by the damage of the attack.

    “Now Dark Pulse,” shouted Jayden.

    Once again, a black orb began to form in Gastly’s mouth. The floating Pokémon began to cackle, watching as Lampent attempted to regain composure. Once enough energy had been charged, the ball turned into a beam, rocketing at Lampent. Trying to stop the attack, Lampent fired off a barrage of fireballs, but the beam went right through, hitting him in the chest. Lampent fell to the ground, the chiming coming from him much weaker than before.

    “You’ve got to be kidding me!” exclaimed Piper.

    “You must’ve been doing some serious training,” observed Lorin. “Gastly is wicked strong now!”

    Recalling his Pokémon, Jayden rejoined his friends, nodding to Hope who had been sulking. “Now let’s heal our Pokémon and find Hope’s brother.”

    “Not so fast,” said Piper, putting her hand out. “Now that you’ve beaten me, you’re ready to meet him.”

    “What are you talking about?” Kaylie questioned.

    “Don’t you think it’s weird that I wouldn’t let you use the Pokémon Center?” Piper asked, as she recalled Lampent, approaching the group.

    “No, I just thought you were a *****,” Jayden said bluntly. “But go on.”

    “I’ll ignore that.” Piper cracked her neck, letting out a sigh. “It’s come to our attention that you guys become a top interest in both Team Lustrous and the Black Organization. You’ve done something to rub them the wrong way and it looks as if they’re mobilizing.”

    Jayden put his hand to his chin, several thoughts running through his mind. “You say we. What does that mean? Are you with some group?”
    “I am affiliated with a group that exists to annihilate both Team Lustrous and the Black Organization,” Piper explained. “Team Lustrous wants to rid the world of those they deem unfit and the Black Organization wants to rule the world by covering people’s eyes in darkness. Both claim it is for peace.”

    “They only want to ruin people’s lives!” Hope spat, the thought of her brother running through her mind.

    “So that’s why I joined CLOUD. We do whatever possible to break the hold they have on people and destroy that hold with whatever necessary.”

    Kaylie balled her hands into fists, her arms shaking. Looking down at the ground, all she could think of was Alexander. She knew he was different. He is HER brother. She knows him better than anyone. Alexander wouldn’t join people that had a goal like that. Shaking her head, Kaylie looked up, her face feeling hot.

    “Not all of them are like that though,” she said. “There may be some with a different opinion. You can’t just go around killing them all.”

    Piper chuckled as she patted Kaylie on the shoulder, waving off what she just said. “If they have a different opinion then Team Lustrous kills them. They’re very exclusive.”

    “Who do we have to meet?” Lorin asked as a sort of reminder to them that they were off track.

    “It’s time for you to meet with the officers of CLOUD,” Piper told them as she turned back towards the city. “It’s time for you to meet the Nine.”
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  19. #94
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    This chapter is one of the longer ones. With that it contains a lot of plot. How? I can't tell you that. Read, review, and enjoy.


    Chapter 22: City of Lights

    “The…Nine?”

    “They’re the top executives of CLOUD. They’ve been around the longest or have the most amount of skill. Like I said before, they’ve noticed that Team Lustrous and the Black Organization have their eyes on you.”

    Back in the Pokémon Center, Piper began to question the four trainers and their connections to the two syndicates. All had told their story except Kaylie. She had been hesitant, not sure if she should let Piper know that her brother was a high ranking officer in Team Lustrous.

    “So then Kaylie, were you just along for the ride?” Piper asked. “Is your connection simply because you travel with others that actually have a connection?”

    “No…” Kaylie replied. “My…my…”

    “Her brother infiltrated Team Lustrous before,” Jayden quickly finished, lying for her.

    “Then maybe he has some intel that we can use,” Piper said. “We’ve mostly been taking stabs in the dark.”

    “…he died a long time ago.” Kaylie looked down at her hands, fiddling with them above the table. A single tear fell out of her eye, hitting her palm. “My brother can’t help me anymore.”

    With a sigh, Piper stood up, nodding to the trainers. “Well if you would like to join us in our fight then you’ll have to meet with the Nine. They’ll be at the battle tournament tomorrow, observing and looking for anyone they think may be able to help. You won’t need to participate, but it might help so they’ll know where to place you.”

    “We’ll be there,” said Lorin with a smile.

    “Then I’ll see you guys there.” With a wave, Piper exited the Pokémon Center, carefully looking around her as she walked out.

    All four trainers stood up, Jayden sighing as he approached the counter. Nurse Joy appeared from the back, the standard smile on her face.

    “How do I sign up for that tournament?” Jayden asked.

    “You can sign up right here,” Nurse Joy answered happily. “The tournament is being in the downtown district of the city. The line for the sign in will be ridiculous so we have entry forms here. You just need to write down your name and three Pokémon that you will be entering.”

    Grabbing four sign up papers, Jayden walked back to the counter and passed them out. Both Jayden and Kaylie quickly began writing down the necessary information while Hope and Lorin looked at the paper confused.

    “Why did you give me a signup sheet?” Hope asked. “I only have one Pokémon.”

    “You find out a lot of things while you’re away,” Jayden said, still writing. “Isn’t that right Sinnoh Task Force agent Hope? I know you’ve been hiding some strong Pokémon from us.”

    “Wha…what are you talking about?” Hope stuttered, shocked by Jayden’s claim. “Noctowl is my only Pokémon. You know that. How long have I been traveling with you?”

    Looking up, Jayden chuckled and pointed at Hope’s belt. Five Poké Balls hung from her waist. With a chuckle he continued to write on his signup sheet, whistling as he finished it. He turned back to Hope, placing the pen in his pocket.

    “You claim to have one Pokémon.” Jayden placed his piece of paper back on the counter, giving Nurse Joy a quick smile. “Yet you carry more than three Poké Balls on your waist. Now you could say that they’re empty, but why would you only have four extra Poké Balls? No one has carried empty Poké Balls on their waist for over fifty years. Now come clean.”

    “…I…I have no idea what you’re saying.” Hope looked away, biting her lip.

    Lorin sighed, shrugging his shoulders. Writing down his name on the paper, Lorin looked at Jayden and smiled. “Well Hope, I don’t know if you’re really a Task Force member, but Jayden seems pretty sure about it,” he said, “but that also means that Team Lustrous could have figured it out. Assuming that it’s true that is.”

    Hope stayed silent, still staring at the ground. Her fingers lightly grazed the top of one of the Poké Balls at her waist. After a sigh, she finally looked up, staring into Jayden’s eyes.

    “How did you find out?” Hope asked.

    “Around Ecruteak there were a few Task Force members,” Jayden explained. “They couldn’t say much, but they let me know that the Task Force had been present in Johto for quite some time, carefully watching the Black Organization.”

    “That doesn’t exactly say she’s one of them though,” said Kaylie, placing her sheet on the counter as well.

    “That by itself doesn’t, but then they told me they ran into trouble when one of their members had been captured by Team Lustrous. They sent a member after them, to find out what happened. I lined the dates up and the day we met you in the café was about three days after they sent their person after them.”

    Hope chuckled, filling out the entry form. “Well, you are right about one thing. I do have more than one Pokémon, but I am not a member of the Task Force. They asked me to join repeatedly after my brother had, but I had other plans. I was going to travel the world and capture so many Pokémon. After my brother disappeared they let me in on all their information. We’re only associates, not team members.”

    After placing her sheet on the counter, Hope walked towards the elevator, pushing the up button. Looking back, she motioned for them to follow. Once they had a room checked out they headed up to the fifth floor, placing their bags on a bed before laying down to rest.

    “…do you guys think we’ll be able to rescue my brother here?” Hope asked once she turned off the lights.

    “For sure,” Jayden answered confidently. “Why wouldn’t we?”

    “It’s just…last time didn’t go over so well,” Hope admitted.

    “We’ve gotten stronger,” said Kaylie. “On top of that we have another person to help out. With the four of us there is no way we’ll lose to them.”

    “It’ll be a cake walk,” Lorin told her. “Let’s just get some rest. The tournament is tomorrow after all.”

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    “…aaannnnddddd welcome to the West City Annual battle tournament! This is the forty-seventh year in which this tournament has been held! Today we will see some amazing battles from trainers all over the region! The number one battler today will receive this wonderful ribbon!”

    In the downtown district of West City was a large dome. Thunderous roars of applause erupted from the open top. Lines in front of the entrance stretched as far as three blocks, each person buzzing with excitement. Inside the dome was a large battlefield, appearing exactly the same as the ones located in the gyms. The spectator stands surrounded the field, going up to fourteen rows. A large screen hung over the middle of the arena, projecting the field so anyone high up could witness the battle.

    “…and that’s two down!” the announcer shouted into his microphone. “Donny only has one Pokémon left while Celeste still has three!”

    “Looks like I’m up next,” said Hope, standing in the doorway to the field. “Wish me luck.”

    Walking past with his head hung was Donny, the boy who was swept in his match against a girl named Celeste. He made a groaning noise before slunking off to the bathroom. Celeste, a short girl with blonde hair, bounced to the group of four trainers, a large smile on her face. She saw Lorin and her eyes lit up, small giggles coming out.

    “Did you see my battle?” she asked in her squeaky voice. “I was awesome right?”

    “You were great,” Lorin said, giving her a thumb up.

    Celeste suddenly turned a shade of pink, her words sputtering out as gibberish as she stared at Lorin. Hiding her face, she waved to them as she ran off, giggling all the way down the hall. Taking in a small breath, Hope walked out to the field, her opponent already on the opposite side. The announcer, wearing a bright orange suit and pink bowtie, suddenly appeared on the side of the field.

    “Now it’s time for the third match!” he yelled, his voice echoing throughout the arena. “It’s Hope versus Serena! You know the rules; three on three! No substitutes! Battle begin!”

    Serena, a girl of about Hope’s height, smiled confidently as she stared across the field. Both of the girls drew their Poké Balls, launching them onto the field.

    “Quagsire appear!” Serena shouted.

    “Noctowl, rise!” yelled Hope.

    In a brilliant flash of light, Noctowl emerged from his Poké Ball, quickly circling the field, hovering above Hope. On Serena’s side appeared a light blue bipedal Pokémon. It had a broad head, its small eyes placed near the center. Thumping its tail, the creature smirked, carefully watching the flying Noctowl.

    “Quagsire, Hydro Pump,” Serena commanded.

    Jumping back, Quagsire took aim at Noctowl, sucking in a large amount of breath. When he blew out, a large stream of water shot out, rocketing towards Noctowl. Easily dodging it, Noctowl quickly flew towards the Water type. When he was a few inches away from Quagsire, he flapped his wings, shockwaves coming out and hitting Quagsire all over. The Water Fish Pokémon stumbled backwards, surprised by the attack.

    “Looks like Hope is off to a good start,” commented Jayden as he entered the waiting room with Kaylie and Lorin. Inside the room were televisions displaying the current match as well as couches and tables for the waiting trainers to sit at. Besides the three that just entered, there were eleven other trainers in the room.

    “You three must be with the four that signed up late right?” one of the trainers, a man of about twenty, asked.

    “Isn’t it obvious?” another man asked.

    Both of the men wore black suits with black ties. Their shoes, also black, were so shiny that a reflection could be seen in them. Their brown hair was slightly slicked down, being spiky in the back.

    “Yeah we are,” Jayden answered. “We didn’t even get into town until yesterday. A friend recommended that we check it out.”

    “If you can call Alexander a friend,” Lorin said under his breath, a jab from Kaylie’s elbow soon following.

    Two girls, a tall one and short one walked up to them, their hands held out. “We wish you luck in your fight,” the tall one said, shaking hands with Jayden.

    “Everyone here is preparing for the Silver Conference so it’s bound to get ugly,” the short one told them, her hand left hanging.

    “That’s good to know,” Kaylie said. “At least this won’t be a walk in the park.”

    “Not after you find out what we have in store…” a man in a corner muttered, not audible to the others.

    After a loud cheer, the trainers turned their attention to the television. On the display it showed Quagsire on the ground, Noctowl slowly descending above him. A red beam of light sucked Quagsire back to his trainer, the girl scowling. Tossing another ball into the air, a large rat emerged, landing with a loud thud.

    “And next Serena sends in Raticate,” yelled the announcer. “How will Noctowl fare here?”

    “Show them Confusion,” ordered Hope.

    Noctowl’s eyes began to glow light blue, a light blue aura surrounding Raticate. The rodent was lifted into the air about ten feet before being dropped. Hitting the floor hard, the Normal Type jumped back up, shaking the damage off.

    “She won’t be taken out by just a fall,” Serena told Hope. “Hyper Fang!”

    Baring her fangs, Raticate charged Noctowl. Leaping into the air, the rat bit into Noctowl’s wing her teeth sinking into his feathers. The bird let out a screech, throwing Raticate off instantly. Landing on the field, Noctowl turned his head at Raticate, trying to figure out her next attack pattern.

    “That Hyper Fang might have taken out all of Noctowl’s aerial moves!” the announcer shouted, saliva flying out of his mouth.

    “Now use Take Down!” commanded Serena.

    Once again, Raticate charged Noctowl, this time much faster. Crashing into the bird, Raticate threw her full force behind the tackle, sending Noctowl spiraling back to Hope. Her Pokémon lay at her feet unconscious. Another thunderous roar of applause came from the crowd, some even chanting Serena’s name. Hope quickly recalled Noctowl, swapping his Poké Ball for another.

    “I haven’t used you in a while, but please work with me,” Hope whispered to the Poké Ball. “Empoleon, rise!”

    “What the hell is that thing?!” Jayden asked, stunned by the large Pokémon that appeared from Hope’s Poké Ball.

    Standing in front of Hope was what appeared to be a large penguin. A golden trident head was placed in front of its face, his feathers a dark blue. Lifting his fins in the air, he let out an ear splitting roar. Looking back at Hope, the Pokémon smirked. After looking across the field at his opponent, Empoleon began to laugh, taking a seat on the ground.

    “That’s an Empoleon,” another trainer in the waiting room said, staring at it in awe. Walking to the television, she touched it softly, running her finger along Empoleon’s outline. “It’s the final form of a starter Pokémon from Sinnoh. It’s a dual Water/Steel Pokémon.”

    “Show her a real Hydro Pump,” Hope told Empoleon, the same smirk her Pokémon had now on her face.

    After a few seconds of sitting down, Empoleon jumped up nearly five feet in the air. Opening his beak, the same stream of water that Quagsire launched came from him. The only difference being that Empoleon’s was just about five times bigger. The impact from the water knocked Raticate off the field and into the wall just below the stands. Sliding down to the ground, Raticate didn’t move, her whiskers drooping.

    “With just one attack Raticate has her world rocked by Empoleon!” the announcer commented, saliva now almost covering his hand. “How can Serena get past this powerhouse?!”

    “I hope I don’t face Hope,” Jayden said, laughing nervously. “Her Empoleon is wicked strong.”

    Suddenly, a loud explosion was heard in the distance, smoke rising into the sky. The cheering stopped, everyone turning their attention to the city. A few seconds after the explosion a low rumbling started, slowly getting louder. Soon, the whole arena was shaking as if an earthquake was tearing it apart. The hanging lights in the hallways shook back and forth, people screamed as they ran for their lives, people tripped and fell down the stairs or were trampled by the others.

    “What’s going on?!” Jayden shouted as all the trainers in the waiting room fell to the ground.

    “UGH! No idea,” Kaylie answered, narrowly avoiding a sliding couch.

    “We’ve got to get out of here!” Lorin said, jumping towards the door.

    Once he threw it open, all the trainers ran out, running to the nearest exit. Many people crowded the streets, screaming as they ran for their lives. Looking into the sky, Jayden pointed to the smoke, a large cloud heading up into the atmosphere.

    “There,” he said. “It looks like Team Lustrous couldn’t wait for the end of the tournament.”

    “We have to go there,” Kaylie told them. “What if they have Hope’s brother?”

    “Alexander hasn’t lied to us before so I don’t see why he would now.” Jayden drew a Pokéball. Tossing it into the air, the ball cracked opening, releasing a large black and yellow wasp. Instead of having arms it had two large stingers. “Beedrill, we’re going to need your help. Fly to that smoke and make an L in it if you see guys in white.”

    The wasp buzzed before flying off in the direction of the smoke. Lorin began to cough heavily, small amounts of liquid spilling out of his mouth. Wiping his chin, he nodded at his friends before they ran into the large crowd of people, trying to make their way to the smoke.

    “Look!” Lorin shouted after they had been running for five minutes.

    To the side of the smoke was a tiny flying Pokémon, diving in and out of the cloud. Slowly, the shape of an L was formed. Beedrill flew back down to his trainer, buzzing hard. Jayden recalled him, gritting his teeth.

    “It’s time we get Hope’s brother back!” Jayden said, his eyebrows arching.

    “You can’t go any farther,” a voice said from above.

    Crashing down in front of them was a large man in a white robe, the classic Team Lustrous uniform. On his chest was a large medal with a star in the middle. His blonde Mohawk lay flat on one side. The trainers slid to a halt, the man towering over them.

    “I can’t let you ruin Master Aeolus’ plan,” he told them, his voice deep and booming.

    “What exactly is that?” Lorin asked, placing his hand on a Poké Ball.

    “If I told you that it would ruin the surprise.” The man laughed at them, drawing his own Poké Ball. “Go on. Draw your Poké Balls! We fight!”

    Emerging from the ball in his hand, a large bull appeared. Whipping its two tails, it lowered its head, its horns pointing straight at Lorin, Kaylie, and Jayden. Each one tossed a Poké Ball into the air, sending out Croconaw, Cyndaquil, and Charmeleon.

    “Your puny Pokémon won’t stand a chance against my Tauros!” the man shouted. “Horn Attack!”

    Charging the three opposing Pokémon, Tauros swung his head all over, attempting to hit one of his targets. Cyndaquil slid under him while Croconaw and Charmeleon jumped to the side. Once she was completely behind him, Cyndaquil released a barrage of fireballs, each hitting Tauros in the back. Turning around, Tauros snorted, seemingly taking no damage.

    “Croconaw, Water Gun!” Kaylie shouted.

    “Charmeleon, Metal Claw!” yelled Lorin.

    Slowly backing up, Cyndaquil jumped away when Tauros charged her. Releasing a stream of water, Croconaw hit Tauros in the face, momentarily blinding him. Charmeleon slid in close, his claws a silver color. Slashing at his belly, Charmeleon flipped backwards, a smirk on his face. Tauros roared into the sky, shaking the water off.

    “Did those attacks do anything?!” Jayden wondered.

    “Crush these weaklings!” the man yelled. “Stomp each one of them!”

    Jumping into the air, Tauros came down like a rock, landing on top of Charmeleon. The breath instantly left the Fire type, a shocked look on his face. Croconaw and Cyndaquil jumped back, each one firing another attack. Jumping back into the air, Tauros avoided the attack, causing the Pokémon to hit each other instead. Cyndaquil screamed as she rolled backwards, the water doing a significant amount of damage.

    “Damn!” Jayden cursed. “We have to figure out some way to beat this guy. It doesn’t look like his Tauros is taking any damage at all!”

    “I think I have an idea,” said Lorin. “It looks like he’s not taking any damage, but we all know that’s not the case. He’s trained his Pokémon to have a high pain tolerance. If we can damage him enough then his body will shut down and render him unable to battle.”

    “We should go for the legs first,” Kaylie suggested.

    “Cyndaquil, use Ember now!” Jayden shouted.

    Slowly getting back up, Cyndaquil ignited the fire on her back once more, the flame burning much more intensely. Releasing a barrage of fireballs, Cyndaquil soon turned it into a stream of fire. Jumping above both attacks, Tauros landed on the street hard, slightly cracking it. Just as he landed, Charmeleon slid in front of him, slashing at his legs. Once he was cut, Tauros jumped back, shocked by the quick movement of Charmeleon. Not letting him breathe for a second, Croconaw unleashed a stream of water onto the bull. The water hit him in the knees, knocking him to the ground.

    “That’s the way,” Jayden cheered.

    “I don’t think so!” the man shouted.

    Tauros jumped back to his feet just as he hit the ground, panting heavily. All three of the opposing Pokémon were breathing heavily as well, their movements slowed. Observing all three, the man’s eyes fell on Croconaw, noticing his breathing being the heaviest.

    “Tauros, take out that Croconaw!” he said. “Hit him with Take Down!”

    Tauros galloped towards Croconaw, full force behind him. Jumping at his opponent, Tauros lowered his head, his horns barely missing Croconaw as the latter jumped to the side, stumbling as he landed. As he fell, Charmeleon and Cyndaquil fired a stream of fire which covered the Normal type. Croconaw regained his balance and fired his own elemental stream. Tauros lay on the ground defeated, unable to move.

    “Now hit him with Flame Wheel!” Jayden shouted as he pointed at the man.

    “Take him down with Headbutt!” Kaylie yelled.

    Both Croconaw and Cyndaquil regained their breath before dashing towards the man. Flipping in the air, the flame on Cyndaquil’s back engulfed her as she spun towards the man. With a side step he quickly avoided Cyndaquil, but was met with Croconaw’s skull in his gut. Saliva splattered out of his mouth as the man fell back to the ground, clenching his stomach.

    “Let’s go,” Lorin said, dashing past the man.

    Kaylie and Jayden soon followed with their Pokémon right behind them. An explosion sounded a few feet from them, rubble and dust flying everywhere. The force from it knocked Lorin off his feet, slamming him into a crumbled building. His two friends stopped abruptly, running to his side.

    “I’m fine,” he told them, jumping back to his feet. Letting out a groan of pain, he spat on the ground before wiping his chin. “These fools think they can throw Lorin around? Well they’ve got another thing coming!”

    Continuing toward the smoke, several figures came into view, all standing atop a small building in front of the smoke cloud. They all wore a different version of the Team Lustrous uniform, seeming much more classy and fancy. Some had chains connecting each side of the hood, the chain hanging on their chest. Coming to halt, Lorin, Kaylie, and Jayden looked up at them, scowling. Sticking close to their trainers, the Pokémon watched all of them carefully, ready to attack on command.

    “This is the farthest you will go,” a woman said, stepping to the edge of the building. “Team Lustrous would like to ask you to please surrender.”

    “You reckon they’ll just give up all easy like?” a man asked, a toothpick in his mouth. He bent over, peering at the trainers. “We’re gunna need to use force. There are seven of us an’ only three of them. It’ll be easy I reckon.”

    Each one of them drew a Poké Ball before jumping down, all of them landing with a soft thud. The woman who spoke stepped forward, holding her Poké Ball as if she held a diamond in her white gloved hands. The three trainers backed up, but were soon surrounded. They all had a smirk on their face, some even chuckling.

    “It’s time for you to battle,” the woman said.

    “We can’t battle these people,” Kaylie whispered to the other two.

    “Why not?” Jayden whispered back.

    “Because you moron they’re Pokémon are going to be insanely strong!” Kaylie told him. “We have to figure a way out of here and fast.”

    “But what about Hope’s brother?” Lorin asked quietly, carefully watching the Team Lustrous members.

    “Yeah we can’t just leave him here.” Jayden gritted his teeth, tensing up as the woman approached them.

    Cyndaquil jumped in between her and Jayden, her fire burning brightly. Laughing a little, the woman stepped around Cyndaquil, grabbing Jayden by the face, pulling him away from his friends. Unleashing a barrage of fireballs, Cyndaquil jumped at the woman. To her surprise, and dismay, the woman pulled Jayden in front of her, the fireballs hitting him in the back. The boy let out a scream of pain, his legs giving out. The woman grabbed his face once more, this time looking at him closely.

    “Just as I thought,” she said.

    “What is it Doris?” one of the men asked.

    “This is Lillian’s boy,” Doris announced. “He looks just like her.”

    Picking him up by the face, the woman named Doris tossed Jayden back to his friends like a rag doll, hardly exerting any strength. Scrambling to his feet, Jayden rubbed his face, slight red marks on it. Cyndaquil rubbed her head against his legs, whining a bit in an attempt to apologize for hitting him.

    “I can’t have you hurt Cyndaquil. Sit this one out.” Recalling his starter, Jayden pulled out another Poké Ball, gripping it tightly. Soon, Kaylie and Lorin followed suit, deciding that their current Pokémon needed to rest. “The only choice we have is to fight. If we stick together than we can make it!”

    “Don’t go makin’ death wishes boyo,” a voice said from behind them.

    In the street not too far from them stood an old man with a wooden cane in his hand. He had the largest smile on his face, his gold tooth shining in the sunlight. Behind him were nine other figures, the rays of sunlight distorting their features. They were all clad in grey blazers, minus one of them. The one in different attire rushed forward, an orb like object in hand. When they got close enough, Kaylie’s face lit up.

    “It’s Hope!” she yelled as the girl skidded to a stop in front of the circle Team Lustrous had formed.

    “Just you wait guys,” Hope told them. “I’m going to get you out of this mess and then we can save my brother!”

    “Not just you girly,” the old man said. “You have CLOUD’s Nine backing you.”

    “What has Team Lustrous done to deserve so much attention?” Doris asked, chuckling as she backed up. “First the Black Organization, then these children, and now CLOUD. I knew we were popular but this…”

    “Team Lustrous, you have taken my brother Sam against his will and I’m here to tell you to release him!” Hope demanded.

    “You mean Sam Prescott?” the man from earlier asked. “You reckon that we made ‘im come against his will?”

    “That’s not how Team Lustrous works,” another woman said, laughing hysterically.

    “You either want to join us or we blow you off the map,” Doris explained. “We approached Sam about joining us and let’s just say that he’s still walking this Earth.”

    A look of terror took over Hope’s face, her once defiant and ambitious nature vanishing into thin air. Her arm fell to her side, the Poké Ball falling to the ground. “He wouldn’t…he’s not like that…YOU’RE LYING!”

    “I’m not a liar,” Doris told her, shaking her head. “Your brother joined us of his own accord. He saw that we were going to be able to show him things he’d never have known if he stayed a simple researcher.”

    Falling to her knees, tears came to Hope’s eyes. Her worst fear had been realized. The goal that she was dead set on accomplishing was a lie. Now she had nothing…now she was nothing…

    “Get up Hope!” Jayden shouted. “Even if your brother did join with these guys we still have to stop them! They’ve hurt you, Lorin, Kaylie, me, and countless other people! We can’t just let them get away with that! Stand up and fight!”

    Jayden’s words reverberated inside Hope’s head, shaking her feeling of uselessness off. Jumping back to her feet, Hope grabbed her Poké Ball and launched it, tears of sadness flowing out of her eyes. Empoleon emerged from the ball, roaring as he landed on the ground.

    “That little girl has an Empoleon,” the man with a tooth pick said. “I wonder if she even knows how to handle a beast like that.”

    “Now’s not the time Phil. It’s time to initiate the plan,” Doris said, enlarging a Poké Ball. “Let the light envelop this city!”

    Each one of the Team Lustrous members drew a bright white Poké Ball tossing them into the air. Light spilled out of them, forming an assortment of creatures. One resembled a large grey dog while another appeared as a small black fox. Jayden launched his Poké Ball forward, Pidegeotto bursting from the light. Out from Kaylie’s Poké Ball came her Aipom while Lorin released a small pink sheep.

    “It’s begun,” the old man whispered as he and the other eight from CLOUD drew their own Poké Balls. “Let the war begin…”
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  20. #95
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    Last time I was on this website, you were halfway done with Pokemon Academy.......Now you are halfway done with a new one. Haha. Anyway, sorry for the late review but I decided to visit Serebii again today for the first time in.... like a year. Looked for Academy and saw it was finished XD.

    But I'm glad you took the ole journey fan fiction road. These are my favorites but nobody hardly ever does them anymore. I remember reading that "Sinnoh Adventure" story you had a long time ago and I gotta say, I remember that it was one of my favorites. Good to see you put out another journey fic. I was expecting the opposing organization and was curious to see what you had come up with, concerning the enemy side. I havent gotten to read every bit of this since today is my first time seeing this, but I thought id throw in some support.

    I read the first few chapters, and I gotta say I really liked it. There is something about well written journey fics (with the plot twist) that really gets me hooked. I like Jayden and the fact that he cannot figure out what he wants to do with his life. I can totally relate. I am almost 17 and I'm still making some last decisions of what I am going to be doing after highschool. You have a nice and large character line up that keeps everything more interesting.

    I really like the relationship Jayden and Kaylie have together. I thought it was a bit rushed, out of nowhere and cheesy. But they are young, and I can EASILY see where that fits in their age. I think you said in a response to a reviewer somewhere "they are just exploring interests", which makes perfect sense.

    Im gonna keep this review short because I really cant review 23 chapters at once so I'm just gonna get caught up with my reading and the come back after future chapters. If you ever decide on a pm list/vm list, go ahead and put me on it. Wish you the best of luck. Just wanted to give you some support! and maybe a thread bump:3
    Last edited by Aura Master; 31st December 2012 at 6:10 AM.
    Signature under construction for the win?

    I am _-LolWutUmbreon-_ on Pokebeachforums.com ---- I AM NOT the Aura Master on Pokebeach

  21. #96
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    Aura Master, you have made my absolutely horrible day better in two ways; the first is that you are back after such a long absence. It's good to see friends from the days of old pop up again. The second is you liked my fan fiction. After three chapters and no responses, I thought I had lost my touch, but here I am just checking Serebii and I see my fan fiction in my subscribed threads that has a new post. I was ecstatic. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it. I don't know exactly where you're at so I won't go in to details, but you can trust me when I say it gets better as you go on. The beginning felt kinda goofy to me, but once the plot really picked up I feel that the quality of the story did as well. I thank you Aura Master and you are now added to the PM list.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  22. #97
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    “You mean Sam Prescott?” the man from earlier asked. “You reckon that we made ‘im come against his will?”
    I think you meant 'em.

    Trying to catch up and review this fic too, cause you're a great reviewer on mine and my friend's fics. I like it so far, but have not caught up entirely yet. I'm on chapter 18. Good luck with this, and I am excited for the next chapters!


    Claimed Majora's Mask/Skull Kid | 3DSFC - 4811.7177.1372.Liam | Art by me, TIL Userbar by Astral Shadow

    Formerly: Chapter of Charizard

  23. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chapter of Charizard View Post
    I think you meant 'em.

    Trying to catch up and review this fic too, cause you're a great reviewer on mine and my friend's fics. I like it so far, but have not caught up entirely yet. I'm on chapter 18. Good luck with this, and I am excited for the next chapters!
    Many thanks for the review. I'm glad you're enjoying it. And I meant 'im. It's the dialect he speaks in. The h's are dropped. I'll keep that in mind though.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  24. #99
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    Hey buddy, sorry I haven't responded in so long. Been hammered by family holiday stuff and kinda disinterested in fic stuff, even my own. However, I'm back to my usualy mindset and I'm excited to see what's happened since the last time I was here. I should be able to get back to reviewing regularly now. Sorry it took me so long.

    “Her brother infiltrated Team Lustrous before,” Jayden quickly finished, lying for her
    I feel like that sentence would work a bit better if you put something along the lines of ,"Jayden quickly lied...I feel like it just kinda moves smoother

    “Around Ecruteak there were a few Task Force members,” Jayden explained. “They couldn’t say much, but they let me know that the Task Force had been present in Johto for quite some time, carefully watching the Black Organization.”
    Surprisingly clever for Jayden. In no way is he dumb, I've never thought he was. But this air of confidence he's been steady developing has been quite pleasent and you've built it up nicely over the last few chapters.

    No one has carried empty Poké Balls on their waist for over fifty years.
    That confused me slightly. Care to elaborate?

    In the downtown district of West City was a large dome. Thunderous roars of applause erupted from the open top. Lines in front of the entrance stretched as far as three blocks, each person buzzing with excitement. Inside the dome was a large battlefield, appearing exactly the same as the ones located in the gyms. The spectator stands surrounded the field, going up to fourteen rows. A large screen hung over the middle of the arena, projecting the field so anyone high up could witness the battle.
    This is a situation where you would benefit greatly from a little more description. I get the picture you're trying to convey, and it sits in my mind like a half-finished sculpture. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean that in a rude way at all, so don't take it that way; but you have a real opportunity here to make it more than just a battleground, or sports complex. You have the opportunity to make it real. You dig?

    “With just one attack Raticate has her world rocked by Empoleon!” the announcer commented, saliva now almost covering his hand. “How can Serena get past this powerhouse?!”
    Nicely done on that one. Sounds like something a real commentator would say

    Tossing it into the air, the ball cracked opening,
    Opened

    “It’s begun,” the old man whispered as he and the other eight from CLOUD drew their own Poké Balls. “Let the war begin…”
    Hmm, cranking it up a notch. I like it

    The most enjoyable part to me was the battle with the Taurous. I salute your inventiveness with the pain tolerance idea, and to be honest I've never thought of that or seen it before; so kudos to you on that. Other than a few missed chances for some description, I enjoyed myself and am confident that you'll find your way through it. CLOUD getting involved really up's my excitement level and I'm really excited for the next chapter. Good job

    An Ancient Treasure, a Terrible Price. Take the Risk, Eat the World
    (Final Chapter added 05-15-2014)

    -Thanks to PopPrincess_Lyra for the banner above, and Sworn Metalhead for the banner below -


    All Hail the Six Kings...
    Chapter One added (12-07-2014)

  25. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder View Post
    Hey buddy, sorry I haven't responded in so long. Been hammered by family holiday stuff and kinda disinterested in fic stuff, even my own. However, I'm back to my usualy mindset and I'm excited to see what's happened since the last time I was here. I should be able to get back to reviewing regularly now. Sorry it took me so long.
    No worries man! I understand all too well. I'm just glad you're still reading.


    That confused me slightly. Care to elaborate?
    Just a way for me to say the events of the anime took place a loooong time ago. :P Nothing too serious.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

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