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Thread: Hero's Bond [PG 13]

  1. #126
    Join Date
    Feb 2012


    The crowds formed into a confused, scared mob, all trying to get away from something they couldn’t see.
    I was able to visualize that really well. Treating the chaos like an unformed, shadowy monster. I liked it

    Launching it into a crowd, a large, green dinosaur-like Pokémon appeared, emitting a loud roar
    Felt like that was a big missed opportunity for some description. To me, Tyranitar has always been so ferocious and imposing that it deserves some real attention. I know this is the same Pokemon from earlier in the story, but as a reader you sometimes lose track of how in depth you get with descriptions and I feel like if you described it a bit more, it would go a long way

    “You’re still hanging out with these losers?” he said condescendingly.
    I don't know what you're feelings are on using swear words, but I felt like using a curse word of your choice could have added a little bit more power. You dig?

    “I don’t lie little girl
    I feel like that would flow better if there was a comma after 'lie'

    “I’m a former admirer of a Team Lustrous Executive. When they failed and became trash, I stopped following them. I’m talking about Lillian Sector.”
    I feel like that clears stuff up about the person, but that explanation seems a little bit too broad and revealing for a first time meet

    It greatly resembled Houndoom greatly,
    The word 'greatly' threw me off on the sentence since it was used so frequently in the same sentence

    Small flames began to gather in Houndour’s mouth, a smirk appearing on the pup’s face. Beedrill swiftly flew side to side towards his opponent, his movement hard to make out. Just before Houndour could unleash his blaze, Beedrill stabbed at him with one of his large barbs. Barely dodging, Houndour opened his mouth once more only to be met with the other barb. Sliding back, Houndour squealed in pain, growling at Beedrill. Unleashing a barrage of fireballs, Houndour leapt forward, pouncing at Beedrill, but the wasp was too quick. Swiftly dodging Houndour’s assault, Beedrill began his own, thrusting his stingers into Houndour’s side repeatedly.
    That, good sir, is a battle scene. It was to the point, quick paced, and very visual. That's the sort of stuff I want to see. Awesome job

    You look just like your mother, Lillian.”
    I feel like you could add a bit more power to that statement if you take the name lillian out. Obviously we know who he's talking about since he's addressing Jayden. Makes it sound more mysterious and dangerous if you leave it out. Make sense?

    I enjoyed the fast pace of this chapter. Nicely done buddy. I'm eager for the next installment

    An Ancient Treasure, a Terrible Price. Take the Risk, Eat the World
    (Final Chapter added 05-15-2014)

    -Thanks to PopPrincess_Lyra for the banner above, and Sworn Metalhead for the banner below -

    All Hail the Six Kings...
    Chapter Three added (03-31-2015)

  2. #127
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Away and Anywhere


    Sorry it took me so long to get to this. I've been...going through some stuff.

    Sidewinder already pointed everything out that I noticed, so no need to reiterate any of that. Beyond that, another great chapter, buddy! Looking forward to the next chapter already!

    Pokemon Y Friend Safari: Type is Ghost, Pokemon are Shuppet, Pumpkaboo and Spiritomb.
    3DS FC: 3566-1718-0207

  3. #128
    Join Date
    Mar 2007


    I have returned! Since NaNoWriMo is finally over, I can get back to pleasing you guys with some Hero's Bond. I know it's been a while since the last chapter, but I'm hoping this one will kick it off right. Back with a vengeance, enjoy Chapter 30 of Hero's Bond!

    Chapter 30: Return to Unity City

    Silence reigned over the four trainers, the only noise coming from the crunching leaves underneath their shoes. Jayden stared at the ground while Kaylie and Hope looked off to different sides. The former Team Lustrous grunt, Grace, had decided it be best that she travel with them for a while, looking at each of them, a frown on her face.

    “Thanks for saving me back there,” said Grace, finally breaking the silence. “I don’t know what would have happened to me if I stayed.”

    There was no reply from Jayden. He simply stared at the ground as they walked his expression unchanging. Hope smiled at Grace and gave her a nod as if to say, “You’re welcome.”

    “Where are we headed to?” Grace asked, trying her hardest to brighten everyone’s mood.

    “Blackthorn City,” Jayden answered, not looking away from the ground. “It’s obvious we can’t handle Team Lustrous right now. There will be a lot of strong trainers and Pokémon on the way.”

    “I’m from Blackthorn City!” Grace exclaimed. Looking up for the first time, Jayden raised an eyebrow at her. Kaylie and Hope looked at each other as well. “The fastest way to get there from here would be to go through both Ecruteak City and Mahogany Town. Then it’s a small trip through Ice Path and we’re there!”

    “How strong are the trainers there?” Kaylie asked.

    “Blackthorn City is known for being associated with Dragons,” Hope told Kaylie. “Even the gym leader uses Dragon type Pokémon. With them by their side, you can expect tough battles against a Dragon specialist.”

    Jayden chuckled, stopping in his tracks. Taking a Poké Ball from his belt, he began to roll it over in his hand. Kissing it, he tossed the ball into the air, holding it high when he caught it.

    “Maybe we’ll run into Lorin there,” he said. “Then I’ll make him explain why he betrayed us!”

    “You’re forgetting about one thing,” a voice said from the trees.

    Slowly walking from the forest came three men, all dressed in black suits. In fact, everything they wore was black; black tie, black shirt, black shoes, black sunglasses. They even had black hair. The four trainers all stood back to back, staring at the men as they surrounded them. A bead of sweat trickled down Jayden’s temple. He saw one of them men reach for his belt, about to draw a Poké Ball, but Jayden was quicker. Launching his Poké Ball forward, the ball cracked open to release Cyndaquil. The small, Fire type unleashed a barrage of fireballs onto the man. The man in black quickly jumped back, slapping a few embers off his cuff.

    “Who are you guys?” Grace asked. Slowly backing up, she held up a Poké Ball, her hand trembling.

    “My guess is they’re with the Black Organization,” Kaylie answered for them, sending out Aipom to back Cyndaquil up. “What could they want with us?”

    “My name is John,” said the man who appeared to be the leader of the three. Taking off his sunglasses, he revealed light green eyes. Staring at Jayden, John smirked. “What we want with you is to help our organization fulfill our purpose.”

    “Why would we want to help you?!” Jayden spat, gritting his teeth. “You’re no different from Team Lustrous!”

    The two men behind John chuckled, shaking their heads. John carefully placed his sunglasses in his breast pocket, slowly approaching Jayden. Cyndaquil jumped in front of her trainer, the flames on her back burning brightly.

    “That’s where you have us figured all wrong,” said John. “Team Lustrous seeks the eradication of any they deem unfit for their ideal society. What our organization seeks is immortality!”

    “What?!” Hope gasped.

    The four trainers were taken aback, the sudden revelation of the Black Organization’s goals surprising them. Jayden took a step back, unsure of how to process what he just heard.

    “We want to help humanity! Protect them until the end of time! Join us in our quest and become a god!” John outstretched his hand, a maniacal smirk on his face, his eyes wide.

    Taking a step forward, Jayden reached for John’s hand. Kaylie clasped her hand to her mouth, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. With a confident look on his face, John began to close his hand for a handshake when Jayden closed his into a fist, punching John in the stomach. The surprise attack knocked the wind out of John, pushing him back a few feet.

    “I will never join you!” Jayden shouted, his hand still balled into a fist.

    Spitting out a small amount of blood, John motioned for the other two to draw their Poké Balls. “Then it looks like we’ll have to get rid of you.”

    Appearing on the Black Organization’s side were three Pokémon that Hope, Kaylie, and Jayden were already familiar with; Pidgeotto, Noctowl, and Ledian. Hope smiled as she tossed her Poké Ball into the air, Empoleon bursting forth, shaking the ground as he landed.

    “Pidgeotto, hit them all with a Wing Attack!” one of the men commanded.

    “Empoleon, block that Wing Attack with Steel Wing!” Hope countered.

    Pidgeotto was the first one to move, her wings glowing bright. Heading straight for Cyndaquil, the bird didn’t flinch as Empoleon intercepted her, the edges of his wing glowing as well. Letting out a loud roar, Empoleon pushed Pidgeotto back, a barrage of bubbles shooting out from his beak. The bubbles crashed into Pidgeotto, knocking her out of the air.

    “Cyndaquil, hit Pidgeotto with Flamethrower!” shouted Jayden.

    “Ledian, stop that Flamethrower with Protect!” John yelled.

    Zipping down to Pidgeotto’s side, a green sphere appeared around Ledian. The Bug type braced itself as the flames collided with the barrier. The flames nearly engulfed the shield, heat still getting through to Ledian. Taking back to the air, Pidgeotto flapped her wings furiously, small shockwaves of air rocketing towards Cyndaquil. Aipom leapt into action, the fist at the end of his tail glowing. As each shockwave neared, Aipom blocked them, not one getting through. Once Cyndaquil’s flames vanished, Ledian let down the barrier, breathing heavily.

    “Noctowl, Air Slash now!” the last man called.

    Just like Pidgeotto before him, Noctowl furiously flapped his wings to create much larger shockwaves than Pidgeotto had. Knowing that Aipom could protect them a second time, Empoleon jumped in front of the attack, his wings folded in front of himself. Each shockwave pushed Empoleon back slightly, hardly damaging it.

    “Respond with a Hydro Cannon!” shouted Hope.

    A large ball of water began to form in Empoleon’s beak, the ball glowing brilliantly. Each of the flying Pokémon dispersed in an attempt to throw Empoleon off. With a smirk, Hope pointed to all three of the opponents’ Pokémon.

    “Not a problem,” she said. “Hydro Cannon Mach III!”

    Turning his head in Noctowl’s direction, Empoleon let the ball loose. Before anyone could blink, Noctowl was hit, falling to the ground with a thud. Shocked, John tried to call out to Ledian to throw up another Protect, but Empoleon was too fast. Another ball of water crashed into Ledian, taking it out almost immediately. Pidgeotto attempted to fly out of range, but before he could move, the bird was struck, being pushed back into a tree.

    “What?!” exclaimed John. “How is that possible?! Hydro Cannon leaves the user immobile! How could you possibly use it three times so quickly?!”

    “The attack only renders you immobile once it has finished,” Hope explained. “That was all one attack!”

    John gritted his teeth, his hands clenching as he stared Hope down. The three men recalled their Pokémon, retreating back into the trees, disappearing into the shadows. Cyndaquil snorted in their direction, releasing a small puff of smoke from her snout. Empoleon roared, shaking the trees in front of them, several bird Pokémon flying from the tops.

    “We’ll need to be careful,” said Kaylie. “They might be back later on.”

    Hope recalled her Empoleon, gripping the ball tightly. “Hopefully we can avoid them. I don’t know how many battles Empoleon can take.”

    Placing Cyndaquil on his head, Jayden lead the way into the forest, his focus not on the surrounding area, but their destination. Grace followed behind them, occasionally looking around at the trees, eyeing the dark spots carefully. She had explained to them that the Black Organization members were exceptional at hiding in dark places, places you would never think someone would be able to hide. When they reached a clearing a few miles into the forest, they heard a small rustling noise. Cyndaquil jumped off Jayden’s head, her fire blazing. They expected a member of the Black Organization to jump out, but instead a little girl stumbled out, a small yellow rodent Pokémon behind her. She had a look of disgust on her face as she tried to rid her hair of the leaves and sticks. Her Pikachu possessed a similar look, picking at his tail.

    “Dumb trees,” she whispered. “Dumb dirt, dumb leaves, dumb forest…”

    “Hey,” Jayden said. The girl froze the instant he spoke. “I know you. You’re the little girl that posed as a Team Lustrous officer. Liz right?”

    “That’s right,” said Liz, running up to the four trainers. “Thank goodness we ran into you guys! Pikachu and I got lost in this forest on our way to Olivine City. Can you help us?”

    “Well, Olivine isn’t the place you want to be right now,” Hope told her. “Team Lustrous kind of took it over.”

    “Olivine City too?!” Liz exclaimed.

    “What do you mean too?” Jayden questioned, his eyes narrowing.

    “Unity City was hit not too long ago,” she explained. “It’s like a ghost town.”

    Jayden placed his hand to his forehead, trying to make sense of everything that had been happening. Team Lustrous had been attacking cities in an attempt to gain control of them, but to wipe it completely off the map? On the other hand, there was the Black Organization that had been involved in smaller scale things such as individual attacks or defense against Team Lustrous.

    “We’re going to need to go to Unity City pronto,” Jayden told them.

    “What about Blackthorn?” Kaylie asked.

    “Unity City is a nerve center of Johto,” explained Jayden. “If Team Lustrous controls that, they’ll be able to control thirty percent of the region’s exports and imports. Control of that means they can control the distribution of the imports and in turn they will control the people.”

    “This is going to be interesting,” said Hope.

    “I know a shortcut there!” Liz exclaimed.

    “Take us there!” Jayden shouted.

    “It won’t be easy, but it will get you there faster.” Liz smirked at Jayden, nodding at her Pikachu. “I hope you guys are close cause your personal space is about to be violated.”

    Taking them back from the way she came, Liz led the group to a small hole in the ground, big enough for one person to fit through at a time. She told them that it had been an underground railway that traveled all the way to the outskirts of Ilex Forest.

    “If this is just underground, won’t it take the same amount of time?” Jayden asked.

    “Jump in and figure out.” Liz smiled, stepping away from the hole.

    Jayden shrugged and slid down into the hole. Darkness swallowed him, his eyes slowly adjusting. He could hardly see his own hand in front of his face. He called for Cyndaquil, catching her in his arms. Setting her down, she lit the fire on her back, illuminating the room. Not too far in front of him was a railroad car sitting upon train tracks. Now Jayden understood why Liz said their personal space would be violated. The car looked like it could sit two people comfortably, three people max.

    “Did you die down there?” Jayden heard Hope call.

    “No, but one of us might,” he shouted back. “Especially if you’re afraid of riding in unstable vehicles.”

    Landing not too far from him was Hope followed by Kayle and Grace. Liz and her Pikachu jumped down as well.

    “Apparently, this cart was used during a war a long time ago to get supplies to the troops without a chance of ambush,” said Liz. “Ever since then it’s been upgraded to travel quickly both ways instead of just one. Now get in!”

    Without hesitation, Jayden hopped in the cart, Cyndaquil sitting in his lap. Kaylie followed, taking her seat next to Jayden. She grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. Letting out a sigh, Hope sat across from the other two, crossing her arms.

    “How does it work exactly?” Grace wondered, looking around the cart for some sort of switch before climbing in.

    “There’s a button just above Jayden’s head,” answered Liz, jumping into the cart as well. “Once he pushes that, we’ll be zipping through this tunnel and out by Ilex Forest in no time!”

    Counting down from five, Jayden moved his hand closer to the small red button on the wall. When he got to one, he pressed the button as hard as he could. A few seconds passed and they hadn’t moved an inch. The trainers all stared at Liz, thinking she had made some mistake. Liz just smiled. A few seconds later, the cart began to make a whirring noise, the wheels beginning to spin. The cart took off down the tunnel, going at least forty miles per hour. Grace let out a small scream, trying to hold her hair down. The first turn was coming up, and boy was it a sharp one. Right before, Jayden pulled Kaylie with him into the others, shifting their weight into the turn. Kaylie nearly took out Liz while Jayden’s face landed on Hope’s chest. Jayden jumped back almost immediately, both him and Hope blushing. Kaylie hadn’t seen the awkward interaction between the two as she had been constantly apologizing to Liz and Pikachu.

    “Here comes a dip!” Grace shouted.

    The passengers all grabbed onto the edge, their hearts all racing. The cart began its descent on the rails, the steepness slightly increasing over time. Finally returning to flat ground, the cart picked up speed, now hitting an upward hill. They reached the top in no time, sun rays poking through small holes in the ground above. Peering ahead, Jayden could see the end of the tracks. Slowly, the cart lost its speed before coming to a complete stop at the end. Once everyone was out of the cart, Liz showed them a little further down the tunnel to a ladder. Leading them up back to the surface, the group saw the boundary to Ilex Forest behind them and the city limits of Azalea Town ahead of them. Unlike the last time they had been there, the town had been bustling, nearly crowding the small town. The smokestacks had been removed, the air beginning to clear up. Walking into the town felt much different than before. Instead of an empty, dead feeling, it felt alive and cheerful. Everyone was polite when they passed by, saying sorry if they bumped into somebody.

    “Hey!” someone shouted to the group of trainers.

    All of them turned to see a group of three kids around the same age as they were, approaching them. The boy in the middle smirked at them, flipping his long blonde hair. The girl to his left also wore a smirk, staring intently at Kaylie while the other boy looked off into the ground, his hands nervously fidgeting with the other.

    “What do you want?” Jayden asked.

    “Is that your Cyndaquil?” the boy asked, pointing to Cyndaquil who had still been sitting on Jayden’s head.

    “Of course. Why do you ask?” Jayden’s eyes narrowed, not too sure what the boy was up to.

    “My name is Thomas and I challenge you to a battle!” Just as the boy announced it, everyone who had been running about stopped, gasping when they heard the challenge. The crowds instantly formed a large circle around them, whispers rising.

    “We don’t have time for this,” Jayden said to himself. He pulled out a Poké Ball and enlarged it. “You’re on then! But I won’t be humoring you for long!”

    A smirk still on his face, Thomas launched his Poké Ball, light spilling out. The light slowly began to form, taking the shape of a Totodile. The Water type had the same smirk as his trainer, crossing his arms. Jayden tossed his Poké Ball into the air, releasing Beedrill.

    “Totodile, Water Gun attack!” Thomas shouted.

    “I don’t think so,” said Jayden.

    Totodile reared his head back, water beginning to gather in the back of his mouth. Beedrill appeared in front of Totodile before he could even blink, jabbing him repeatedly in the chest with his stingers. The water slowly trickled out of Totodile’s mouth onto the ground as he fell back. Jumping back up, Totodile rapidly fired off streams of water, all of them missing Beedrill.

    “Poison Jab,” Jayden shouted.

    Swiftly dodging all the water streams, Beedrill flew in close again, startling Totodile. Before the water type could react, Beedrill began to jab him again, this time his stingers glowing a faint purple. Totodile fell to the ground, no longer moving. Thomas glared at Jayden, recalling Totodile.

    “This battle is over,” Jayden announced, recalling his Beedrill.

    “My turn with you girly,” shouted the girl, pointing at Kaylie. “I’ll show you how we battle in Azalea!”

    The girl sent out a Sentret, the Normal type standing tall on her tail. Deciding it would be best to get this over with quickly, Kaylie released her Aipom, the small monkey more interested in the amount of people instead of Sentret. Sentret began to scratch at Aipom, the latter slapping the former away with one quick tail movement.

    “Aipom just use Focus Punch,” Kaylie told him, not wanting this to continue much longer.

    “Sentret, use Tackle before he can get the attack off,” the girl ordered.

    Sentret dashed forward in an attempt to throw off Aipom’s focus. Instead, Aipom jumped on Sentret’s shoulders, using her as a boost. Launching himself straight up, Aipom came back down, slamming his tail into Sentret’s back, knocking her unconscious.

    “What in the-?!” The girl gritted her teeth as she recalled Sentret. “Looks like you guys are better than we thought.”

    “And what made you think they weren’t good?” Hope questioned.

    “Time to go,” the quiet boy said suddenly, turning back towards the crowd. The other two followed, not saying a word. When the crowd surrounded Jayden and Kaylie, the boy smiled. “Perfect. Just perfect.”

    “So what exactly was that plan?” Thomas asked. “Totodile could have been hurt y’know.”

    “Sentret took a beating too,” the girl said, slightly stroking her Poké Ball.

    “The plan was to delay them for a brief period,” the boy explained. “I’m sure Bugsy saw that battle and knowing him, he’ll be interested in both of them. That will give Aeolus all the time he needs.”
    Last edited by Shadow Lucario; 20th February 2014 at 9:41 AM.
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  4. #129
    Join Date
    Mar 2007


    After another long break I have finally brought you the 31st chapter of Hero's Bond! I had a different plot planned for this chapter, but I had to scrap it and lost a few pages worth of story. Going back and hammering it out again, I finally figured out where everything was headed. Now here is the finished product. Don't forget to nominate your favorite fics in the awards. Seems like this year is kinda slow. Anyway, enjoy!

    Chapter 31: The New Path

    “Excellent battle skills. Both of you ended the battle before it dragged on too long. And you used a Bug type!”

    When the crowd finally dispersed, Jayden and Kaylie had been confronted by a young man. He carried a net in one hand, a Poké Ball in his other. He had explained to them that he had been passing by when he came upon their battle. Seeing a Beedrill, he immediately became interested.

    “Thanks,” said Jayden.

    “Maybe you guys would like to battle with me,” the young man suggested. “I’m Bugsy and I’m this town’s Gym Leader.”

    “We would love to Bugsy, but we have to get going to Unity City,” Kaylie told him.

    “Then it’s a good thing I changed how I conduct my gym battles.” Bugsy motioned for the group to follow him.

    The town of Azalea was the smallest town Jayden had been to, even smaller than New Bark. It took nearly five minutes to get across town to Bugsy’s gym. The front gate read Azalea Gym, but behind it was what appeared to be a large plane in the shape of a Butterfree. Pushing the gate open, Bugsy led them to the plane, pressing a small button on his net. Stairs jutted out from the side of the plane, a door swinging open at the top of the stairs.

    “This is your gym?” Hope asked, her mouth hanging open.

    “Ever since they opened that new gym in Unity City, I figured it would be best to recreate my gym. I give people a plane ride to Unity City so that challengers could get to the next one easier while challenging me.” Bugsy smiled, going up the stairs two at a time.

    Liz was the first to follow him, Pikachu right behind her. The other four shrugged and entered the plane as well. The inside was much larger than the outside suggested. The back of the plane was a large battlefield, taking up the most space.

    “We’ll have to take a seat while the plane takes off.” Bugsy pointed to the front where ten seats had been fixed at the edge of the battle field.

    “Isn’t it a bit dangerous to battle in a flying plane?” Jayden asked as everyone took a seat.

    “The plane has been built with Poké Shield technology,” Bugsy explained. “Any attack that flies off toward the walls or seats hits a force field that contains it so no damage is done to the actual plane.”

    “Butterfree plane, use Protect,” Kaylie joked, buckling herself in.

    “Now who will be battling me?”

    Kaylie and Jayden raised their hands while Bugsy gave them a smile.

    “This will give me an opportunity to test out this new battle type I have wanted to try.” Bugsy pressed a few buttons on a dashboard at the front of the plane and the engine roared into life. Slowly, they began to move. Quickly buckling himself in, Bugsy instructed them to wait until they reached maximum altitude to unbuckle. The plane began to pick up speed, the wheels leaving the ground. Liz squealed slightly when the plane took off, her eyes shut tightly. A few minutes after, they heard a slight DING. Bugsy jumped from his seat and pulled out a Poké Ball. Kaylie and Jayden did the same, following him to the battlefield in the back.

    “So here’s how this will go,” Bugsy started. “This will be a two on one battle, but not a double battle. Each of you will only use one Pokémon and I will choose two. Whichever of you sends out a Pokémon first has to battle the one I send out first. If I switch out, then your partner must send their Pokémon out. Only I can substitute. Understand?”

    “I think so,” Jayden answered. He turned to Kaylie and whispered to her, “I have the advantage here so I’ll send in Cyndaquil first.”

    “No, we’ll save you for last just in case he knocks my Pokémon out,” Kaylie whispered back.

    Launching their Poké Balls onto the field, Kaylie and Bugsy stared each other down, neither of them flinching as the blinding white light filled the room. On Kaylie’s side appeared her Ledian, quickly darting up and down, punching the air. Across from them came a Beedrill, identical to Jayden’s.

    “A Ledian,” Bugsy gasped. “Too cool!”

    “Ledian, start with Comet Punch!” Kaylie commanded.

    Ledian flew in towards Beedrill, the latter buzzing back and forth. Ledian threw several punches with each of his arms, all of them connecting. Beedrill floated backwards, slightly stunned.

    “Show them Pin Missile,” said Bugsy.

    Several smaller needles shot off of Beedrill’s, a small amount hitting Ledian. Both Bug types hovered, not moving an inch.

    “This won’t go anywhere if they keep throwing weak attacks at each other,” said Grace, one hand on her chin.

    “What do you mean? It seemed like Ledian did more damage to Beedrill.” Liz grabbed her Pikachu and sat him down on her lap.

    “While Ledian did indeed do more damage with its attack, the attack itself didn’t do much damage. It loses power in favor of speed.” Grace narrowed her eyes. “Maybe they’re trying to force Bugsy to show them his strongest attack first.”

    “Ledian, continuous Comet Punch!” Kaylie shouted.

    Flying up high, Beedrill avoided Ledian, traveling at the very edge of the barrier. Giving chase, Ledian tried to catch up, but couldn’t match the hornet’s speed. Beedrill did a complete 360, small needles raining upon Ledian again. Pushing through them, the ladybug began his assault on Beedrill, rapidly punching him all over. The hornet fell back, trying to escape the flurry of fists, but Ledian didn’t let up. Continuing in his attack, Ledian furiously jabbed his opponent all over, floating down to the ground after a full minute.

    “Alright Beedrill, time to counterattack,” said Bugsy. “Poison Jab!”

    His breathing heavy, Ledian could only watch as Beedrill swooped down on him. The hornet thrust his now purple stinger into Ledian’s gut, the latter being pushed back a few feet. Shaking off the pain, Ledian charged forward, his wings flapping slightly. Just before he could throw another round of punches, Beedrill turned into a red light, being sucked back into the Poké Ball in Bugsy’s hand.

    “Time to switch it up.” Bugsy wore a smirk on his face as he changed Poké Balls.

    Kaylie scoffed, recalling her Ledian. Good thing he substituted, she thought. I don’t think Ledian could handle much more of that.

    “Looks like it’s our turn.” Jayden pulled out a Poké Ball, tossing it into the air.

    Cyndaquil burst forth, igniting her flame immediately. Bugsy tossed his Poké Ball as well, a smile still on his face. When the light cleared, what stood in front of Cyndaquil was a large red creature. Its two giant claws hung at its side, swaying back and forth. Its eyes locked onto Cyndaquil’s, the latter slightly backing up.

    “Don’t underestimate my Scizor,” Bugsy said with confidence. “Go, Metal Claw!

    The Pokémon known as Scizor dashed forward, appearing in front of Cyndaquil before anyone could blink. One of its claws was raised above its head, glowing brightly. Jumping to the side, Cyndaquil narrowly dodged being crushed. Before Cyndaquil could land, Scizor turned, swinging his arm around as well. This time, Scizor’s large claw caught Cyndaquil in the stomach, pushing her to the opposite wall.

    “Cyndaquil, you have to keep moving!” Jayden shouted when he saw Scizor continue his pursuit.

    Cyndaquil rolled back to her feet, sliding under Scizor’s legs. With a front flip, Cyndaquil unleashed a barrage of fireballs on Scizor’s back, all of them connecting perfectly. The attack forced Scizor to one knee, the creature cringing in pain.

    “Again!” Jayden yelled.

    Just like before, Cyndaquil launched several fireballs at Scizor’s back, but to her surprise, the Bug type vanished. Looking all around, Cyndaquil tensed herself up, ready for Scizor where ever he appeared. The red creature suddenly appeared in front of her, disappearing just as quickly as he came. Now he was behind her, one of his claws rising.

    “Cyndaquil, turn up your flame!” Jayden shouted.

    The flames of Cyndaquil’s back flared up, jumping into Scizor’s face. The Bug type stumbled backward, temporarily blinded. Unleashing a round of fireballs, Cyndaquil dashed at her opponent. Scizor tried to dodge, but the burns from the previous attacks caused too much pain for much movement. Cyndaquil became engulfed in flames, colliding with Scizor. The latter fell to the ground, trying to push himself up.

    “Scizor is done,” Jayden called to Bugsy. “Call this one or he will hurt himself.”

    “Scizor, we lost this one buddy,” Bugsy told him as he pulled out his Poké Ball. “Now it’s up to Beedrill.”

    Beedrill reappeared on the field, replacing Scizor while Ledian did the same with Cyndaquil. Jayden nodded at Kaylie, letting her know to do her best. Kaylie smiled, cracking her knuckles.

    “Comet Punch!” shouted Kaylie.

    “Twineedle!” yelled Bugsy.

    The Bug types clashed, one throwing punches, the other throwing stabs. Neither one could hit their attack head on. Ledian threw a high punch, but Beedrill ducked it. Beedrill attempted to stab Ledian in the side, but the latter grabbed his stinger, much to Beedrill’s surprise. Pulling him in, Ledian finally landed a punch in Beedrill’s face, knocking him a few feet back.

    “Pin Missile, go!” Bugsy ordered.

    Beedrill circled Ledian, trying to confuse him as to where he was going. Just like they did before, tiny needles shot off of Beedrill’s stingers, hitting Ledian all over. The ladybug wavered in the air, nearly falling to the ground.

    “Ledian,” Kaylie called. “Please, hang in there! Go for Mach Punch!”

    The cries of his trainer pushed Ledian on. He knew this battle was important. And he knew that he couldn’t lose. Ledian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself for that. Pushing through the needles, Ledian pulled back his glowing fist. Beedrill tried to move out of the way, but Ledian just picked up speed, slamming his fist into Beedrill’s back. The hornet crashed into the floor, no longer moving. Ledian wiped what would be his brow, landing on the ground as well.

    “Wow, what an attack!” Bugsy exclaimed.

    “Great job, Ledian,” Kaylie complimented her Pokémon. “You’re as strong as ever!”

    Ledian flexed his tiny arms, falling over as soon as Bugsy recalled Beedrill. Kaylie rushed to his side, but Ledian sat up instantly, showing her that he was fine.

    “He’s probably tired,” Bugsy said, both of his hands clenching something in them. “These are for you and Jayden.”

    Now in Kaylie’s hand were two small badges that looked just like a ladybug’s back. When she showed Ledian, the Pokémon laughed, glancing at his own back to compare. Kaylie handed Jayden his badge, the latter planting a kiss on her cheek. She couldn’t help but blush. Bugsy let them know that they had been approaching Unity City and were to be landing in about five minutes.

    “…What happened?” Hope gasped. She nudged Kaylie and Jayden, pointing out of the window.

    “This…is Unity City?” Jayden whispered looking down on the large city.

    “But…but…it was destroyed,” stammered Kaylie.

    The last time they had been on this side of the region, the entire city had been demolished, not a soul in sight. Now, every building was shining as if it hadn’t been touched. People bustled about, appearing like ants from above. A large tower loomed in the center, rising above all the other buildings.

    “Take your seats,” instructed Bugsy, buckling himself in.

    All the trainers quickly buckled themselves. Hope stared out the window in disbelief, her palms sweating as they descended towards the airport. Exiting the plane, the three trainers walked towards the main building, their mouths agape.

    “Guys, I have to jet now!” Liz said suddenly.

    “Where are you going?” Hope asked.

    “I told my mom that if I ever got back to Unity City that I would visit her and my grandma,” she explained.

    Waving goodbye, Liz and Pikachu took off towards a gate leading to the street. Bugsy directed them to the terminal, letting them know that a cab to the Unity City gym would be waiting. With a simple wave, Bugsy returned to his plane, calling someone over to talk about refueling. Inside the airport, there seemed to be even more people than there were outside. Kaylie grabbed onto Jayden’s forearm, not wanting to lose him in the crowds. Hope grabbed onto Kaylie’s shirt and Grace grabbed onto Hope’s arm. They snaked their way to the entrance after being bumped into numerous times. A man stood by the doors, a sign in his hand that read Kaylie and Co.

    “Oh it’s Kaylie and Co.,” she said with a sly smile on her face. “I’m like the main character in a movie or book.”

    “Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Jayden told her with a laugh.

    Greeting the man with the sign, he led them to his cab outside. The girls hopped in the back while Jayden took the front seat. Bringing the engine to life, the driver asked if everyone had been prepared. When they all confirmed, he took off, veering into traffic, narrowly avoiding three different cars.

    “So how did your battle with Bugsy go?” the driver asked Jayden.

    “Oh it went well,” he answered. “Got the win.”

    “How many badges?”

    “Uh, four.”

    “Halfway there.” The driver looked over at Jayden, quickly looking back to the road.

    “Yup.” Jayden began to tap his hands on his knees, avoiding eye contact with the man.

    “I collected six badges myself when I was young,” the driver said. “Came down with an illness and had to stop travelling.”

    “I’m sorry to hear that.” Jayden still did not look over at him, opting instead to look all over the front of the car. “It’s good that you got better though.”

    “Yup.” The driver tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel. This time it was he who avoided eye contact, staring straight ahead instead.

    Silence fell over them, an occasional yawn breaking it. The traffic had been just as bad as the crowds in the city, taking nearly ten minutes to get through one light. Jayden and the driver exchanged awkward glances every now and again, neither one saying a word.

    Staring out the window, Hope looked in awe at the city before her. It looked as if nothing had actually happened there, as if it were perfect for years. The buildings all had that new look, but gave off an established feeling. Crowd after crowd crossed the streets, people pushing their way to work or their way home. Looking up at the clear blue sky, Hope recalled the day they passed through, the darkness that covered the sky, and the pain they could feel emanating from the ruins. All of it had been replaced with an overall happy feeling. People smiled as they walked, laughing even.

    “Almost there,” the driver said, turning down a side street.

    The road became narrow, the amount of people decreasing significantly. Soon they reached a large wall that had been placed between two large houses. Stepping out, the driver looked down the street, peering over the top of his car. He motioned for the others to get out of the car as well. Not wanting to question it, they all stepped outside, not too sure of what they were doing.

    “Um, what’s going on?” Jayden questioned. “I thought we were going to the gym.”

    “That would only be possible if I had a gym to take you to,” said the driver.

    “Wait, Bugsy said that you would take us there,” Kaylie told him. “Are you saying that he lied?”

    “Both yes and no.” Walking up to the wall, the driver put his ear to it, tapping it lightly after a few seconds. “The gym here is in many places. Right now, your gym battle will be to assist me.”

    “Assist you in what?” Hope slowly asked, not too sure if she wanted to know.

    The driver chuckled, leaning against the car. “Let me start by introducing myself. I am Glenn Farr, Unity City gym leader and Water type specialist. I don’t know if you’ve been to this city before, but not too long ago, there was nothing here. All that was here were the remains of a once prosperous city. My city.”

    Glenn looked down; his hands had begun to tremble. A small tear formed in the corner of his eye, staying motionless as if it were stuck there. He took a deep breath, wiping the tear away.

    “Now something happened between then and a few weeks ago,” Glenn went on. “The city sprung back to life.. Thing is, all the people here, they seem to not have any clue of a city not being here just a month ago. It struck me as odd so I started digging.”

    Glenn took a cigarette pack out from his pocket. He quickly lit one, taking a long drag. Flicking off the excess embers, Glenn took a deep breath, the shaking of his hand slowly calming.

    “Team Lustrous had been here not too long ago. I had found some people that were present just before they got here. They told me that Team Lustrous had come suddenly, without any kind of warning.”

    “Maybe we could use their help in getting people to realize that something is wrong here,” Hope suggested.

    Glenn laughed, taking another drag from his cigarette. “Too bad they all disappeared. Not a single trace of them is left.”

    “That means that Team Lustrous is still here.” Jayden looked around carefully, keeping his voice low.

    “What we need to do is somehow infiltrate their ranks and find out what is going on.” Glenn tossed his cigarette to the ground, crushing it with his foot.

    “They know all of our faces,” Kaylie said. “It will be impossible for us.”

    “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.”


    “John, did you check the entire floor?”

    “Yeah, for the trillionth time.”

    The third floor of the large skyscraper had been silent, the only noise coming from the men’s’ footsteps and occasional bickering. What little light the evening sun offered shone through the windows, large shadows cast across the room.

    The men wore the distinctive white robes of Team Lustrous. Their hoods had been up, obscuring their faces from anyone that saw them. They began to talk once more as they walked, this time discussing the faction they belonged to. The one named John thought they had deserved a higher rank for having been involved with them for nearly five years. The other told John that since they hadn’t taken part in any of the battles with the Black Organization that they were the last people to get promoted. Just as they rounded a corner, a shadow jumped out from behind a large plant, quickly chopping John on the back of the neck, knocking him out cold. With a quick punch to the chest followed by a knee to the stomach, the other was out as well.

    “That makes five,” Glenn’s voice said. “Put the robes on and we’ll get going.”

    Glenn quickly undressed the grunts, tossing the robes to Kaylie and Jayden who then replaced their current clothes. To his surprise, and joy, Jayden discovered that there had been a face mask in the clothes as well. Jayden gave Glenn a thumb up, pulling the mask over his mouth.

    “If this building follows Unity City regulations, then the fourth floor will be the surveillance floor,” started Glenn. He pulled out a small pen like device, a rhythmic beeping emitting from it.

    “What is that?” Grace carefully asked, pulling her hood up as well.

    “It detects radio waves,” Glenn explained. “It will let us know when we’re near a computer.”

    Jayden rolled the idea over in his head once, snorting shortly after. “Won’t it be telling us that a lot then? I thought you said the surveillance floor was above us. Computers must be on the surveillance floor.”

    Glenn chuckled, holding his device high in the air. A smile drew its way across his face as the beeping began to speed up. Making their way down the hallway, the beeping slowed, eventually stopping. Placing the device back into his pocket, Glenn led them into another room. Jayden could hear the device begin its beeping again. The new room was set up like a conference room. There was a large table in the middle, chairs lining the sides. A stair case lined the back wall, wrapping up to the next floor. A computer sat in the middle of the table, a dim light coming from the screen. Glenn ignored it and went straight to the stairs, climbing them two at a time.

    “Glenn, there’s a computer right there,” Jayden observed. “How come that thing isn’t going berserk?”

    “That’s not the computer we’re looking for,” Glenn said simply, throwing the door at the top of the staircase open. “The one we are looking for emits a specific frequency. While that frequency has similarities to the ones that all computers emit, my device is designed to let me know exactly where the computer I want to find is.”

    Just as Glenn had predicted, the fourth floor was the surveillance floor. Computer monitors and cameras had been placed everywhere. The screens where filled with shots from all over the building. A few more grunts had been placed here and there, watching the screens carefully. Jayden bit his lip, trying his best to control his anger. Hope began to tremble, an uneasy feeling building in her stomach. Grabbing her hand, Hope took a deep breath, remembering that acting out here could end very badly. Grace pulled her hood farther over her face, trying to hide from the other grunts. Beginning their walk, Glenn told them to act natural. Avoiding all eye contact, Kaylie’s breathing became shallow. She could feel their eyes travelling over her, watching her move, taking in every detail they could. Kaylie shook off her thoughts, trying to remain calm. Before she knew it, she found herself on the ground. Looking up quickly, she saw a hand. Not sure of who it was, Kaylie scrambled to her feet, ignoring the hand completely.

    “Try to keep it together,” Glenn whispered to her furiously. Glenn looked over to the Team Lustrous grunts and smiled. “New recruits. Am I right?”

    “I hear ya.” The grunts chuckled, going about their business.

    Picking up the pace, Glenn took the device out of his pocket, raising it into the air once more. The beeping quickened as they neared the stairs. Just before they got there, a hand grabbed Grace’s arm, spinning her around. She came face to face with a man barely taller than she was. He brushed his red hair out of his face, taking a good look at her.

    “I knew it was you, Grace!” he said excited. “I heard you were deployed to Olivine City though. What are you doing here?”

    “Oh, um, Aeolus told me to return here before we even got there,” Grace lied. “I, uh, I r-ran into these new recruits on my way in and we were taking a tour.”

    “A tour huh.” The man walked to the front of the group and spread his arms, a large smile on his face. “Then allow me, Ted, to welcome you to Team Lustrous. You’re standing in our main building of operations. This is where we compile all our data.”

    “What kind of data?” Jayden asked, eyeing the man carefully.

    “All kinds,” answered Ted. “Member information, mission history, available Pokémon.”

    Jayden’s eye lit up, a burning feeling in his chest. He could feel a lump building in his throat, sweat beginning to build around his temple.

    “How far back do you archive member information?” Hope looked back at Jayden and could read just what he was going to ask. “I met a Team Lustrous member a long time ago and I want to know everything I can about them.”

    Ted led them up the stairs onto the fifth floor as if to let her question answer itself. The fifth floor looked much like the fourth. In the place of camera feeds was a large symbol that appeared to be globe that had been stripped of the countries and replaced with a grid. Bringing them over to one of the computers, Ted typed a few things into the keyboard and brought up a search screen.

    “Did you know the name of that operative?” Ted asked.

    Hope looked at Jayden again. He had been staring at the ground, not moving an inch. Hope swallowed the saliva that began to pool in her mouth and took a deep breath. “Lillian Sector was her name.”

    “She was my idol for a long time as well.” Ted typed in her name and sure enough a picture of a woman bearing a striking resemblance to Jayden appeared.

    She had light brown hair and deep green eyes that made you feel at peace. Jayden had to fight back the tears he knew were going to build up. Looking away, Jayden balled his fists, his fingernails digging into his palms. Kaylie wanted to console him, tell him that she was here, but any action that suggested they were not who they said they were, wasn’t best to make at the moment.

    “She was a great operative,” said Ted. “Some say she was the best. Here it says that she had been part of the First Division. Until ten years ago, Team Lustrous had been separated into divisions. Anyone in the First, those were the Executives, the best. Her bio says she joined the team at age 12 and was promoted to First Division at age 19. She was the second youngest to be promoted there.”

    “Where is she now?” Grace asked, trying to keep up the ruse.

    “Sadly, she fell in combat.” Ted scrolled down on the page, reading ahead on her bio. “She was ambushed by a group from the Black Organization on a mission to take back Cherrygrove. It says here that she had a husband and a son. When the team approached her husband, he refused to join.”

    Glenn took the time that Ted used to explain and began going around the room, holding his device close to his chest underneath his robes. He went over all the computers and screens with it, not missing a single one.

    “These computers are at your disposal,” Ted told them. “This is the last floor that us grunts are allowed on. Above this is the executive department. Do your best and if you’re ever in the field, good luck. Nice seeing you again, Grace.”

    The man returned to the fourth floor, leaving the group of five alone. Kaylie quickly walked to Jayden and wrapped her arms around him, stroking his hair softly. She whispered into his ear that everything would be okay. Not wanting to hold it back any more, Jayden tightly grabbed onto Kaylie and began to sob into her shoulder. Hope pulled Grace forward, telling her that it would be best if they left them alone.

    “Did you find it?” Hope asked Glenn. The man shook his head, tapping the device on his bottom lip. “You don’t think it’s upstairs do you?”

    “It must be.” Glenn looked at the ceiling before holding the device in the air. The beeping picked up its pace slightly, becoming about half a beat faster.

    “There’s no way to get to the other floors without authorization,” Grace told him. “And if we don’t have proper authorization we’ll be found out immediately.”

    Glenn shook his head and headed across the room to the stairs anyway with Grace and Hope in tow. The stairs to the sixth floor had been much longer. At the top, they could see a type of keypad by the door handle. Just above that was what appeared to be a scanner, a blue light emitting from it.

    “See? We can’t get any farther.” Grace turned back down the stairs and was about to head down when she heard a loud hiss coming from the door. Slowly turning her head, she saw the door begin to open. “How did you do that?”

    Glenn’s mouth hung open. He had no idea of what the code could have been. He hadn’t even tried yet! “I didn’t do that.”

    Just beyond the door, they could see the frame of a man, motioning for them to enter. Kaylie and Jayden ran up the stairs, reaching them in seconds.

    “We heard the hiss,” Kaylie said. “What’s going on?”

    “Your mission is almost complete,” said a voice from just beyond the door.

    When he heard the voice, Jayden’s eyes widened, his expression quickly changing to shock. Kaylie wore a similar expression, sure she had heard that voice somewhere before. Pushing the door open and stepping out was a man with messy black hair. His clothes had been tattered, dark spots covering his skin. He smirked when he saw Jayden, scratching the back of his head.

    “I guess you figured out what you wanted to do then,” the man said.

    “…yeah,” Jayden said quietly. “At first I thought it was to challenge gyms and collect badges. But then I realized that the gyms were just for training me, honing my skills. What I really want to do is help people. And I can start by destroying Team Lustrous.”

    The man chuckled. “I suppose that would make any parent proud. Great choice, son.”
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  5. #130
    Join Date
    Feb 2012


    First off, I'd like to apologize for my long absence from the forum and for my neglect of your fic. I was starting to feel burned out and I needed a break. I'm still very much interested in your story and I'm sorry it took me so long to get here buddy

    Chapter 30

    “Thanks for saving me back there,” said Grace, finally breaking the silence. “I don’t know what would have happened to me if I stayed.”
    She'd probably have her neck broken lol

    Then it’s a small trip through Ice Path and we’re there!
    I really feel like it's not going to be that simple

    but Jayden was too quick.
    I think that would read better if you put 'but Jayden was quicker'

    “We want to help humanity! Protect them until the end of time! Join us in our quest and become a god!”
    Every team in your story has such a god complex lmao. Seriously though, one thing to watch for in your dialogue is to try and humanize the characters a bit. While the speech I quoted works on this instance, you need to make sure they dont sound so high and mighty all the time without purpose. You dig? There's nothing wrong with speaking richly and grandiosely, but if it comes out of every member of every team every time, it can get kind of annoying

    Turning his head in Noctowl’s direction, Empoleon let the ball loose. Before anyone could blink, Noctowl was hit, falling to the ground with a thud. Shocked, John tried to call out to Ledian to throw up another Protect, but Empoleon was too fast. Another ball of water crashed into Ledian, taking it out almost immediately. Pidgeotto attempted to fly out of range, but before he could move, the bird was struck, being pushed back into a tree.
    Hah! That was an exhilarating moment. I liked it. Adequate description and inventiveness with the attack. Good job!

    “Did you die down there?” Jayden heard Hope call.
    That made me laugh

    “We don’t have time for this,” Jayden said to himself
    Then why doesn't he just refuse?

    Chapter 31

    The plane has been built with Poké Shield technology
    Glad someone else had the idea for a protective shield during Pokemon battles lol...very inventive. Kudos!

    A Ledian,” Bugsy gasped. “Too cool!
    I really liked how you captured a child-like demeanor in him and mixed it with the obviously adult version of him flying a plane and using shield tech. He's actually pretty fun and interesting. Good job!

    When the light cleared, what stood in front of Cyndaquil was a large red creature. Its two giant claws hung at its side, swaying back and forth. Its eyes locked onto Cyndaquil’s, the latter slightly backing up.
    I felt like you could have done better with the description of Scizor. While I liked that you made him intimidating enough that Cyndaquil jigged a little bit, the description was basically about two big claws, which makes me think of two claws being held together by an invisible body. It was odd

    “Now something happened between then and a few weeks ago,” Glenn went on. “The city sprung back to life.. Thing is, all the people here, they seem to not have any clue of a city not being here just a month ago. It struck me as odd so I started digging.”
    This is gonna be fun lol. I'm eager to see where you take this

    “She was my idol for a long time as well.” Ted typed in her name and sure enough a picture of a woman bearing a striking resemblance to Jayden appeared.

    She had light brown hair and deep green eyes that made you feel at peace. Jayden had to fight back the tears he knew were going to build up. Looking away, Jayden balled his fists, his fingernails digging into his palms. Kaylie wanted to console him, tell him that she was here, but any action that suggested they were not who they said they were, wasn’t best to make at the moment.
    I could really feel the emotion from him there and his struggle to keep it contained. Good job

    The man chuckled. “I suppose that would make any parent proud. Great choice, son.”
    omg! WTF!? Haha that was unexpected and extremely intriguing. I'm excited for the next update

    An Ancient Treasure, a Terrible Price. Take the Risk, Eat the World
    (Final Chapter added 05-15-2014)

    -Thanks to PopPrincess_Lyra for the banner above, and Sworn Metalhead for the banner below -

    All Hail the Six Kings...
    Chapter Three added (03-31-2015)

  6. #131
    Join Date
    Mar 2007


    For the first time in months, Hero's Bond has finally been updated. A lot has happened over the past months that have prevented me from updating this, but I have finally gotten everything settled and can hopefully get back into the swing of things. Here is chapter 32. Enjoy.

    Chapter 32: In the Distance

    Silence filled the room. Stepping aside to let them in, Daniel patted Jayden on the back.

    “Dad, what happened to you,” Jayden asked once the door had closed.

    “Team Lustrous came after me when I dropped your aunt off at home,” he explained. “They told me that I had to go with them. I tried to fight, but there was too many of them. They dragged me here and have been holding me for quite a while.”

    “How did you escape?” asked Kaylie. “They wouldn’t have left you unguarded. They obviously want you for a reason.”

    Glenn stepped in between them, smiling at both. “Sorry to interrupt, but can we find what I came here to find first?”

    Daniel sighed, now turning to Glenn. “What is it that you’re looking for?”

    “A computer. It is supposed to contain information about everything that Team Lustrous is planning. They have some agenda and I need to find out where Johto fits in there.”

    Daniel placed a hand on his chin, scratching it slightly. He pointed across the room to a large desk. There was a large screen sitting on top of it, a dim light coming off it. Glenn walked over to it, his pen device in hand. Sure enough, the device went berserk, beeping faster than it ever had. Throwing his hands in the air, Glenn sat behind the desk and began typing. The screen lit up and various menus and codes popped up. Glenn’s fingers moved faster than anyone’s eyes could follow. Concentrating on the screen, he hardly blinked as he typed.

    “And we are done here,” said Glenn. He hit a few more keys before standing up.

    “Well?” Grace asked him.

    Glenn looked around confused. “Well what?”

    “What are they planning?” Hope asked, an agitated tone in her voice.

    “The only thing I could pull off this computer is that they are going to strike Mahogany Town,” Glenn told them. “It’s where the Black Organization will be.”

    “Why are they going to be there?” Jayden wondered.

    “We need to go there,” Kaylie said. “I have a bad feeling about whatever it is they’re planning.”

    A sudden clanking sounded from down the hall. Everyone stood completely still, waiting for the source of the noise to show itself. Jayden felt around his waist for a Poké Ball, grabbing the first one he touched. Daniel slowly made his way towards the corner, carefully peeking around. A small metal bowl had been rolling down the hall, clanking again when it hit the opposite wall. Picking it up, Daniel stared into it, wondering where it could have come from. To his surprise, and dismay, another object had been sitting in the bowl. It was a black sphere with a green blinking light on it. Tossing the bowl into the air, Daniel shouted for everyone to drop to the floor. The blinking green light turned red and not two seconds after, it exploded, shards from the bowl and wall flying everywhere. The force from the blast threw Daniel into Glenn, knocking both men out. Shrapnel flew past Jayden, cutting his cheek and all over his arms.

    “Kaylie, Hope! Are you okay?!” Jayden shouted, running over to them.

    Picking herself up, Kaylie said she was just fine, just shaken up. Grace, who had been completely covered in dust and chunks of the wall, slowly stood, dusting herself off. A look of terror covered Hope’s face, her eyes not blinking. She trembled, trying to back away. Not sure what she had been so terrified of, Jayden turned, coming face to face with Aeolus, a wicked smile on the man’s face.

    “How wonderful of you to come visit me in my office,” he said, placing his hand on Jayden’s shoulder. “Did you maybe want to reconsider my offer? Is that why you’re wearing my robes?”

    “I-I…uh…” Jayden couldn’t form any words as fear took hold of him. He saw what Aeolus was capable of doing. How he didn’t care who he killed.

    “Well young Jayden, I’m afraid that I can’t accept you in Team Lustrous.” Aeolus faked a frown, rubbing at his eye as if he had been crying. “You see, you aren’t qualified. You can’t be when you’re dead.”

    Grabbing him by the throat, Aeolus easily lifted Jayden off his feet. The boy grabbed at Aeolus’ hands, gasping for breath. Kaylie jumped at Aeolus, but the man easily swatted her aside. Kaylie jumped back up as soon as she hit the ground, hitting Aeolus in the back. The man winced, dropping Jayden. Turning quickly, Aeolus slammed the back of his fist into Kaylie’s cheek, pushing her into a wall.

    “And who do we have here?” Aeolus asked, Grace entering his field of vision. “Weren’t you a former grunt? Now why are you here in our robes? I don’t remember saying you could join again. Maybe I’ll have to fire you one more time. Except I’ll be a little more literal.”

    From under his robes, Aeolus pulled out a Poké Ball, a smirk on his face. Just before he tossed it into the air, he froze. He chuckled, turning his head towards the door.

    “You always have the worst timing, Dimitrios.”

    The large man laughed as well, a Poké Ball of his own in hand. “You know me, old friend. I’m always late for the party.”

    The two leaders stared each other down, neither one blinking or moving an inch. From behind Dimitrios came a slender man. He pushed the glasses on his face up with his index finger, a Poké Ball in hand. He wore the standard black coat of the Black Organization, the rest of his clothes matching in color.

    “I’ll pay you back for what you did to us in Blackthorn City,” the man snarled.

    “Damien, that happened years ago,” Aeolus said, smiling wickedly. “You can’t hold me to something I did over three years ago.”

    “But I will hold you, Damien, to something you did three months ago,” said a voice from down the hall.

    The voice sent chills up Kaylie’s spine, causing her body to tense up. She knew exactly who the voice belonged to before she saw him. Turning her head, she saw Alexander striding towards Aeolus, tossing his own Poké Ball into the air, catching it as it fell. An eerie silence fell over them, the three groups looking from one to another. Slowly backing up, Jayden felt himself bump into someone. Looking up he saw it was his dad. Daniel grinded his teeth together, his fists clenched tightly. Placing a hand on Jayden’s shoulder, the man pulled his son back, stepping in between the two factions.

    “You’re not the only one with a beef against Aeolus,” Daniel said to Dimitrios. “I have a score to settle with him that has gone on for too long.”

    “You wouldn’t happen to be talking about your little wife would you,” Aeolus taunted. “She could have become the best agent in Team Lustrous. Shame that she had that accident.”

    Aeolus cackled loudly, his eyes narrowing. Fuming, Daniel began to tremble, trying his best to keep his composure. Jayden could feel his grip tightening on his Poké Ball, his mouth clenching. Taking in a deep breath, Daniel began to approach Aeolus with a blank look. Alexander stepped in front of him with a stern look on his face.

    “Don’t even think about it,” said Alexander.

    “All I want to know is why,” Daniel told him through gritted teeth, fighting back tears. “If she was that good then why would you get rid of her?”

    Aeolus pushed Alexander aside, his usual smirk placed on his face. “I could sense the hesitation in her. There is no room for people who second guess themselves on my executive staff.”

    “I don’t mean to interrupt you ladies from bickering,” Dimitrios started, “but I think there are more pressing matters at hand than a woman who is no longer with us.”

    Another silence fell over the room, all groups looking from one to the other. Daniel backed up to Jaden’s side, carefully eyeing Aeolus. A flash filled the room, causing all three groups to jump back, releasing their Pokémon. On Dimitrios’ side appeared his Lucario. Metagross materialized in front of Aeolus while Empoleon, Croconaw, and Cyndaquil stood in front of their trainers. None of the Pokémon made a move. They too eyed each other, waiting for someone to give a command. Alexander fell back, disappearing down the hall. Damien ran after him, Poké Ball in hand.

    “Why didn’t you stop him?” Dimitrios asked.

    “Alexander won’t lose to him,” Aeolus answered, confidence ringing in his voice. “Besides, I wouldn’t want you to get the jump on me, old friend.”

    The two men stared each other down, smiles on each of their faces. Aeolus clicked his teeth together which Dimitrios responded to with a grunt. Both of their Pokémon began to fire off random beams of energy, narrowly missing Croconaw and Cyndaquil. Empoleon responded with a large ball of water, firing one at both Metagross and Lucario. The water soaked them, sure, but did no visible damage. Aeolus cackled loudly, slapping his hand to his face.

    “Girl, don’t you know that water isn’t going to do much to a Steel type?”

    “Then try this out! Hydro Cannon!” Hope shouted.

    “Hope, wait!” Kaylie tried to stop her, but Empoleon began to charge the attack already.

    “Cyndaquil, back Empoleon up! Flame Wheel!” Jayden yelled.

    Dimitrios scoffed, snapping his fingers at Empoleon and Cyndaquil. Lucario simply nodded and vanished from their sight. Before Empoleon could launch his attack, the ball of water he began to gather burst as he fell to the floor. Cyndaquil’s flame ignited on her back, but she was struck as well, the flame going out just as quickly as it started. Lucario reappeared in front of Dimitrios on one knee, slowly getting back to two feet.

    “Show off,” Aeolus muttered.

    “I won’t let these children stand in the way of our battle.” Dimitrios turned to Aeolus, one finger pointed at him. “After we take care of them, I’ll deal with you.”

    Aeolus began to tremble, but he still held the smile. He wasn’t trembling from fear, but from excitement. “Then you better bring your best. I won’t show any mercy this time.”

    Copying Dimitrios, Aeolus snapped his fingers. Metagross turned to Croconaw, the latter backing up slightly. Kaylie’s jaw clenched, her hands balled into fists. A large beam shot out from the X on Metagross’ face. Jumping to the side, the beam narrowly missed Kaylie and Croconaw, punching through the wall behind them.

    “Hydro Pump!” Kaylie shouted.

    Dashing around the Metagross’ backside, Croconaw unleashed a large stream of water. The blast hit Metagross, but hardly made it flinch. Slowly turning around, Metagross stared Croconaw down, its eyes beginning to glow. A faint pink outline surrounded the Water type as it began to float in the air. Beginning to panic, Croconaw started to flail, trying his best to escape Metagross’ psychic grasp. A large fireball suddenly rocketed past Metagross, breaking its concentration. Croconaw fell to the ground, scrambling back to Kaylie. The fireball broke through the wall opposite Jayden, small flames scattered on the new hole in the building. Cyndaquil’s flame had been lit once more, burning with a higher intensity than a few moments ago.

    “We need to get out of here,” Jayden mumbled to Hope. “If this keeps up, they’re going to destroy us.”

    “Then we’ll need some cover,” Hope mumbled back. Empoleon looked back to his trainer, a stern look on his face. “Think you can help us, Empoleon?” The Water Pokémon nodded, letting out a load roar.

    “You surprised me there,” said Aeolus. “You didn’t seem like the type to try a sneak attack.”

    “Aeolus, if we don’t hurry then your building will be destroyed,” Dimitrios told him.

    Chuckling, Aeolus pulled out another Poké Ball. “Then let’s crank it up a notch.”

    Suddenly, a large explosion sounded from below them. The entire building began to tremble. Everyone in the room, minus Dimitrios, was thrown to the ground. Objects began to slide to one side as the room appeared to tilt.

    “What’s happening?!” Kaylie yelled.

    Another loud explosion was heard, this time even further below. All the trainers pulled out their own Poké Balls, letting out any of their Pokémon that could possibly fly them out of the building. Jayden grabbed onto his father’s arm before they crashed through the window. Pidgeotto struggled to hold both of them up, but was able to fly them over to the roof of the next building safely. Hope landed just after them with Kaylie and Grace coming up behind her. The group watched as the building crashed into the streets below, many sirens echoing throughout the city.

    “We need to get out of here,” said Kaylie. “We won’t get another chance if they catch up to us.”

    “She’s right. Dad, let’s go.” Jayden pulled at his father’s sleeve, but he wouldn’t budge, just staring at the chaos below.

    “I can’t go, Jayden,” he said.

    “Dad, we have to go. Now’s not the time.” Looking at his dad, Jayden instantly felt a feeling of sorrow. He remembered when he learned that his mom wasn’t coming home and how it burned in his chest. A similar feeling ignited, deep in his heart.

    Daniel sighed, his hands twitching slightly. “The last time I let them do whatever they want, I lost my wife. I have to do something this time. You and your friends need to take advantage of the chaos the city is in right now. You’ll be able to slip out unnoticed.”

    “Dad, no,” pleaded Jayden.

    A small gasp escaped Hope. She was able to make out three figures on the street, one of them being her brother. Without so much as a word, she grabbed onto one of Noctowl’s feet, quickly flying down. Kaylie tried to call out to her, but Hope was already gone. Flying right past Hope, a beam of light struck the building they were on, blowing concrete everywhere.

    “You’re wasting time!” Daniel shouted. “Get out of here now!”

    Before Jayden could even argue, another beam hit the building, this time closer to their feet. The impact blew everyone on it in different directions. Kaylie and Grace were thrown off the side only to be saved by Ledian, barely holding them up while Daniel and Jayden were slammed into the wall of a connecting building. Just as the building was beginning to crumble, Jayden pulled his dad up and called on Pidgeotto to take them to the ground. Landing among the debris, Daniel pilled himself up, gripping his arm tight.

    “You need to leave!” Daniel hobbled forward with a slight limp. Wincing in pain, he did not look back at his son as he kept moving, his mind set on Aeolus.

    “Dad, I can’t lose you too!” shouted Jayden. “I need you!”

    Daniel stopped in his tracks, turning his head slightly. “I can’t promise you that I will make it out of this, Jayden. But I will promise you that I won’t let them get away with what they did to Mom. And if her memory means anything to you, then you will get out of here.”

    Jayden quickly wiped his face in an attempt to stop the tears before they started. Before he knew it, his entire face was drenched. Shaking his head, Jayden moved forward as well. “I can’t leave. Hope and Kaylie are here somewhere. I have to find them.”

    “Once you find them, you get out of here. Got it?”

    Off in the distance was a loud explosion, pebbles raining down on Jayden and Daniel. A scream followed and Jayden could’ve sworn that he knew that scream. Running in the direction of the explosion, Jayden quickly recalled Pidgeotto and drew another Poké Ball. He could make out the outline of a medium sized creature with a girl in its claw, holding her a few feet above the ground.

    “Hope!” yelled Jayden.

    “So this is your friend Jayden?” a man asked. Jayden felt like he had seen the man somewhere before. He wore glasses and had brown hair that stuck out to Jayden.

    “Sam…” For some reason the name fell out of Jayden’s mouth. He remembered that this was Hope’s brother. She had been searching for him. “What’s going on here?”

    “Well I just happened to run into my little sister trying to get out of our crumbling building,” Sam explained. “She instantly started babbling about saving me from Team Lustrous and how she had been looking for me for quite some time. I told her that I wasn’t in any danger. Team Lustrous never kidnapped me.”

    Jayden was sure the first time he saw same he was being held against his will. He looked over to Hope and noticed the creature holding her was a Scizor. He only had one Pokémon that would do well against that typing. Tossing his Poké Ball into the air, Cyndaquil emerged in a burst of light. With a quick command, Cyndaquil launched a round of fireballs at Scizor. The latter was quick, dropping Hope and dodging the attack in a split second. Appearing behind the small rodent, Cyndaquil increased the intensity of her flames, warding off the Bug type. Jayden ran over to Hope to make sure she was alright, throwing a dirty look in Sam’s direction.

    “Scizor, Bullet Seed,” commanded Sam.

    Scizor moved quickly, nearly too fast for either Jayden or Cyndaquil to follow. When he disappeared, Jayden held his breath, waiting to react. Once he saw a flash of red Jayden shouted for Cyndaquil to jump to the side. Sure enough, Scizor shot off a round of yellow orbs, each narrowly missing Cyndaquil.

    “Counter with Flame Wheel,” shouted Jayden.

    Engulfing herself in flames, Cyndaquil charged Scizor. The Bug type let out a metallic laugh, dodging Cyndaquil with ease. Sam laughed as well, shaking his head.

    “He’s just too quick. We’ll have to wait for him to try and strike,” Jayden told Cyndaquil.

    Cyndaquil nervously stood still, checking her surroundings constantly. She heard a buzz right behind her and when she turned, Scizor was standing above her, his claw raised. Just before he could strike, Cyndaquil let out a second barrage of fireballs, all hitting Scizor at point blank range. The Bug type stumbled backwards stunned.

    “Now, Flame Wheel!” Jayden ordered.

    Slamming her flaming body into Scizor, Cyndaquil knocked him to the ground, the former hardly moving. Sam grunted, recalling his Pokémon.

    “Why are you doing this, Sam?” Jayden asked, helping Hope to her feet. “She’s your sister.”

    “I don’t owe you any answers.” Without so much as another word, Sam took off into the city, disappearing behind a building. More explosions were heard, this time much further away.

    “Hope, are you all right?”

    She didn’t respond. There was a blank stare in her eyes. Her mouth hung slightly open. Jayden knew trying to force something out of her right now would be useless. Telling Cyndaquil to follow, Jayden picked Hope up and carried her towards the city.

    Kaylie…thought Jayden. Please be okay…
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  7. #132
    Join Date
    Mar 2007


    After a long absence, I bring you the 32nd installment of Hero's Bond. I'm hoping to get into the swing of things and get a more consistent release schedule. Anyway, enjoy!

    Chapter 33: Loss

    Dust covered everything in the immediate area. Breathing became difficult. Looking around her, Kaylie saw Grace on the ground, not moving. Ledian was trying to wake her, but no matter how hard she was shaken, she didn’t respond.

    “Grace, get up,” Kaylie said as she crawled over to her.

    Ledian backed up, not sure what to do anymore. Kaylie tried to pick Grace up, but her arms felt like noodles. She dropped Grace before she could get her higher than a few inches off the ground.

    “We have to get out of hear.” Kaylie’s voice began to crack as she nudged Grace. Ledian whimpered, looking from Kaylie to Grace constantly.

    A strong gust of air flew over them. Bright lights slightly blinded Kaylie while a loud explosion nearly deafened her. It had only been a few feet away from where they had been. Rubble fell from the sky, small pieces of different buildings raining over them. Back on her feet, Kaylie began to drag Grace behind a collapsed house.

    “You stay right here,” said Kaylie, sitting Grace up against the wall. “Let’s go Ledian.”

    Ledian nodded, following Kaylie closely. There were constant screams all around them, explosions sounding in the distance. Her walk soon turned into a jog and before she knew it, she had been running through the destroyed city, frantically looking around her.

    “There she is!” shouted a voice in the distance.

    Turning around, Kaylie saw a large man in black making his way toward her. A Houndoom appeared from a Poké Ball he had thrown, leaping at her. Ledian slammed his fist into Houndoom’s mouth, knocking the Dark type on his side. Shaking it off, Houndoom snarled at Ledian, carefully surveying him.

    “What do you want from me?” Kaylie asked the man, her voice wavering.

    “You’re Alexander’s sister,” said the man. “Dimitrios would love to have you hang out with us for a while. Houndoom, Flamethrower!”

    “Ledian, get out of the way!” Kaylie cried.

    Ledian’s wings began flapping rapidly as he took off. The stream of fire blazed past the Bug type and headed straight for Kaylie. Without much thought, Ledian flew straight to Kaylie in an attempt to beat the fire. Before either could reach her, Kaylie leapt out of the way, rolling across the ground when she landed.

    “Please… just leave me… alone,” whispered Kaylie, her breathing heavy. Trying to get to her feet, Kaylie found her strength failing her. She could only get to her knees.

    “We got her, boss,” the man said into a radio. “She can’t move. I’ll bring her to you.”

    The man motioned his head to Kaylie and Houndoom began to approach her, slowly. Ledian landed in front of his trainer with his hands raised. Houndoom chuckled, spitting small fireballs at Ledian. The Bug type refused to move, taking each hit.

    “Ledian… no…” Kaylie pulled out his Poké Ball, but Ledian knocked it out of her hand.

    Gathering more flames in his mouth, Houndoom unleashed a large fireball this time. The flames hit Ledian hard, taking him off his feet. Hitting the ground hard, Ledian stopped moving. A small cry came from Kaylie. She instantly clasped her hand to her mouth, tears streaming down her face. She scrambled for Ledian’s Poké Ball and recalled him.

    “Time to go with us,” the man said, chuckling. He stood over her with a malicious smile on his face.

    “Touch her and you will regret it.” The voice seemed to come from all around them. The man looked up in surprise and spun around trying to find the source.

    He caught a glimpse of white out of the corner of his eye, but it disappeared as soon as it had appeared. Houndoom let out a yelp as a blur sped past them. Shocked, the man in black began to back away from Kaylie, trying to assess the situation. Another blur went right through them, this time knocking the man on his backside and knocking Houndoom out. Kaylie tried to keep up as well, but her eyesight began to blur. Beginning to panic, the man in black recalled his Houndoom and jumped to his feet. Walking out from behind a building was a young man in white. The hood he wore obscured his face, making it difficult to tell what he looked like. Appearing behind him was a Pokémon that Kaylie had never seen before. It resembled a large monkey except it wore a crown of flames. The fur on its chest was white while the rest was a sandy brown.

    “W-who are you?” the man in black asked, fear rising in his voice.

    “The man you wanted to see. I am Alexander!” Pulling down his hood, Alexander turned his head slightly, chuckling at the man. “And what is it did you plan on doing to my sister?”

    “W-we j-just wanted you to s-surrender.” The man’s words barely escaped his lips. His hands became sweaty and his heart began to pound just from Alexander’s presence.

    “Then you better take this message back to Dimitrios. If anyone ever tries to mess with my sister again, they will be taking a one way trip to Hell.”

    Alexander walked to his sister’s side, kneeling beside her. The man in black slowly backed away before taking off into the city.

    “Alex…ander?” Kaylie could feel her head becoming light, only the outline of her brother visible now.

    “It’s okay, Kaylie,” he told her. “I’m going to take care of everything. Don’t you worry.”

    “I…I’m sorry…I’ve been a bad…sist-” Before she could finish her sentence, Kaylie passed out, darkness enveloping her consciousness.


    “Wait up, Burton!”

    “Yeah, hold on!”

    “It’s not my fault you guys are slow!”

    “No fair! You guys are faster! I can’t keep up!”

    “No one got anywhere by complaining, Kaylie!” Burton, who had been running towards a small park, shouted back to Kaylie who was trailing behind both Marshall and Jayden.

    Kaylie shot him a dirty look and began to sprint, beginning to catch up to them. With the last bit of her energy, Kaylie was able to reach the park first. Burton applauded her while Marshall and Jayden doubled over in an attempt to catch their breath.

    “What are we even doing here?” Jayden asked

    “I figured that since this is our last day in New Bark, we should spend it doing something silly before everything gets serious,” Burton explained. “Who knows the next time we’ll see each other?”

    “And just what did you have in mind?” asked Marshall, his eyes becoming narrow.

    Burton grinned widely. “I was thinking we could play a game of hide and seek. Teams of course.”

    Kaylie chuckled, crossing her arms. “That’s not silly, that’s just downright childish. What are the teams?”

    “Obviously it’s going to be me and Burton,” said Marshall, throwing his arm on Burton’s shoulder.

    Jayden groaned, rolling his eyes. Slightly blushing, Kaylie scoffed. “And why am I paired with him?”

    “Because I chose Burton. Bye.” Dragging Burton behind him, Marshall took off into the city.

    Neither Jayden nor Kaylie looked at the other. They stood in silence, shifting from one foot to the other. Scratching the back of his head, Jayden let out a sigh.

    “Look, it might be a stupid game, but Burton is right,” Jayden said. “This is our last day with each other in who knows how long. We might as well enjoy it.”

    “I guess you’re right.” Kaylie tapped the ground with the toe of her sneakers, still looking at the ground. “I don’t feel like losing to them either.”

    With a nod, Jayden led the way back towards the residential district. The streets were nearly empty, save for a few cars and an occasional jogger. The midday sun hung in the sky with few clouds here and there. A light breeze blew through the trees, small flower petals dancing through the air.

    “Are you scared?” Kaylie asked Jayden as they walked.

    Surprised by the sudden question, it took Jayden a while to realize she was talking to him. “Just a little. I’m not too sure of what I want to do. What about you?”

    Kaylie’s hands balled to fists, her expression serious. “Not at all. I know what I will do and nothing is going to stop me from accomplishing it.”

    “I wish I was as sure of myself as you are. Your confidence is inspiring.”

    “You’ll figure it out soon. It will come to you.” Jayden noticed how quickly Kaylie’s expression had softened. She was smiling at him, and something about the smile told Jayden that there was no need to worry.

    With a smile of his own, Jayden grabbed Kaylie’s wrist and started to jog. “Come on; we need to find these guys.”

    Kaylie’s face turned bright red as she jogged along Jayden. Shaking it off, she grabbed Jayden’s wrist as well. In that moment, she realized that she had gotten through to him. From the first day she saw him, that’s all she wanted.


    The darkness slowly began to fade, a small room taking its place. Everything appeared as a blur before it became clear. Coming to, Kaylie gripped her head, a massive headache pounding from temple to temple. She quickly looked around and saw that she was in bed in what appeared to be a cabin. Not too far from the bed was Alexander. Sitting at a small table, he appeared to be asleep, his arms crossed in front of his chest. A single glass of water sat on the table, a droplet carefully sliding down the glass.

    “Where are we?” Kaylie croaked, her throat dry.

    Alexander’s eyes flew open. Taking a step forward, he put his hand on Kaylie’s shoulder, giving her a smile. “Remember the day I left on my journey? I told you that I was going to build a cabin where I would be able to take care of you and all the Pokémon we caught.”

    Kaylie looked around in awe, slowly standing up. Her first look over the room let her know she was in a building, but when she looked around again, she noticed smaller details she didn’t grasp the first time. Adorned on the wall were various pictures of Kaylie, some from when she was a child and some from the last few months.

    “How…how…” Kaylie tried to form a question as she pointed at a picture, but the words didn’t come out.

    “You’re my little sister, Kaylie,” said Alexander. “I’m going to protect you no matter what. That’s why I want you to join Team Lustrous. Please.”

    Shaking her head, Kaylie grabbed both sides of her head, her fingers gripping her hair tightly. Her head felt like it was going to explode. Sitting her down, Alexander pulled a pill out of his robes, placing it in her hand. Placing the glass of water in the other, he sat next to her, his hand on her back.

    “Take that,” he instructed her. “That will make that headache go away.”

    Looking out the window, Kaylie could barely see anything. The darkness had made it difficult, but the rain obscured anything else she might have seen. Lightning flashed in the back offering some light.

    “The girl who was with me, Grace,” Kaylie said with a hard gulp. “Where is she?”

    “She was taken by the Black Organization,” answered Alexander.

    With a shallow breath, Kaylie started to ask another question. A small sob began to escape, but she quickly pulled herself together. “And Jayden?”

    A stern expression took over Alexander’s face. “I don’t know. I’ve only seen you and that other girl.”

    “Grace,” said Kaylie, her voice hard. “Her name is Grace.”

    “Well, besides you, I don’t know about anyone except for Grace.” Alexander put emphasis on Grace’s name, giving his sister a nudge with his elbow.

    Kaylie pushed off the bed, stumbling to the door. “I’m sorry, Alexander. I love you and I always will, but I can’t agree with what you do!”

    “Kaylie, what I do is for you!” Alexander jumped up as well, catching up to Kaylie in two steps. “Team Lustrous is working towards a goal that can better the world for everyone!”

    Kaylie let out a small scream, tears streaming down her face. Pushing the door open, she ran through the small front room, falling to her knees outside. She felt another presence hovering over her. The monkey-like Pokémon stood over her, his arms crossed. There was an intense look on his face as he looked down at her. His eyebrows were arched, the flames on his head burning brightly, even in the pouring rain. Alexander stepped out of the cabin, his hood covering his head. He nodded to the Pokémon, telling him to back off.

    “I need to get back,” Kaylie said between sobs. “I need to get back to Jayden.”

    Alexander drew a Poké Ball, a frown on his face. “Don’t worry, Kaylie. I’ll take care of him.”
    Credit goes to MagicMochi. Check out their shop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder
    While it is very reminiscent of a lot of journey trainer fics, it held my attention. It stands out among a lot of the other fics I've read lately and I'm excited to continue the story.

  8. #133
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Sweet Home Alabama


    Alrighty. Not sure if you remember me, its been about 3 or 4 years since I have logged on this site. I just finished reading all 32 chapters of this haha. I came back to the site also with a long absence and was re-reading over some of my favorite Fic's and I noticed this was updated like the day I logged back on. So after reading everything I had planned, I finally read through all of this.

    I liked the story much better as it progressed. I was really unsure about the whole enemy organizations thing. I thought that the black organization was an organization with good intentions that Jayden was going to join to fight against the evil Team Lustrous, but it turns out that I was wrong and they both are evil organizations with different motives.

    Speaking of that, one thing I am really confused on is the motives of the two. Team Lustrous wants to destroy anyone that they deem 'unfit" of their world. But there was really no explanation about their plans. For example, they are attacking all of these cities, but for what purpose? To gain control of them? So I guess Aeolus's plan is to "Destroy anyone that they deem unfit of the world, first by taking control of every Johto city"? maybe I missed something but I really don't think you went into depth on what their plans are.

    This story is really unpredictable at times, which is really good because it is more interesting.

    I also feel your descriptions needs to be a little deeper on some things, and maybe go inside the head of your characters more to show us what they are thinking.

    Silence filled the room. Stepping aside to let them in, Daniel patted Jayden on the back.

    “Dad, what happened to you,” Jayden asked once the door had closed.

    “Team Lustrous came after me when I dropped your aunt off at home,” he explained. “They told me that I had to go with them. I tried to fight, but there was too many of them. They dragged me here and have been holding me for quite a while.”
    Like in this situation I would say something along the lines of-

    “Dad, what happened to you,” Jayden asked once the door had closed. At first, he gave his dad a frozen stare. He had not seen in father in many months, and here he was at Team Lustrous' base in Unity City. After the initial shock subsided, Jayden felt a tinge of relief. Sure, this was not how he planned to have his next meeting with his dad, but he was definitely glad he had not got caught up in any of the wreckage that he saw from the news report in New Bark. Depsite this, one thought kept running through Jayden's head 'What was he doing here?'

    “Team Lustrous came after me when I dropped your aunt off at home,” he tried to explain, still seeing the look of disbelief on his son's face, who he had not seen in a few months. “They told me that I had to go with them. I tried to fight, but there was too many of them. They dragged me here and have been holding me for quite a while.”
    ^ of course my grammar is awful and its not the best writing but..

    I thought you could maybe expand on some things. I picked that scene because Jayden randomly met up with his dad in this syndicates base but we really didn't get to see how he felt or anything. Was he shocked? Mad? Relieved? While your writing is really good, I just thought you could expand and open up into your characters mind and give us a little more insight to their personality and more depth to their characters. Like when Jayden told Kaylie he loved her. It kind of happened and neither of them reflected back on it in future chapters, unless it really wasn't that important for the story or their character.

    But of course, you are the Author and these are only my opinions. (not saying im an expert)

    Overall, what you have is good and I really like what you have so far. I will try my best to stay active on this site and keep reading.
    Last edited by Aura Master; 27th June 2015 at 3:27 AM.
    Signature under construction for the win?

    I am _-LolWutUmbreon-_ on ---- I AM NOT the Aura Master on Pokebeach

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