Now I know it hasn't quite been a full year since the announcement of the contest, but I figured I'd celebrate a little early anyway. *pops party streamers* Happy birthday, Interpretation contest! I decided recently to make a sequel to my own entry, in which I interpreted what the various team grunts were like in the very deadly and very dangerous 2nd person point of view. So this will be an anthology of oneshots, each one dedicated to a different team that I didn't use in my contest entry. To cover my tush, all entries will be rated G, with the exception of the first entry, which will be rated T for very strong and offensive language.
This first entry looks at Neo Team Plasma (the covert-looking ones from Black & White 2). Again, this particular entry is rated T due to lots of strong, offensive language. Don't read if you're not into that sort of thing. I read the rules and I'm working around the word filter for just this entry for the sake of the context of the story (the grunt is an adult and is angry. Angry adults swear and aren't PC.). If it turns out that I'm breaking a rule anyway, please let me know so I can edit things.
(Neo Team Plasma)
N is a f ucking fool. He thinks that humans and Pokémon would be better off being completely separate from one another. That's like making sure the water and the earth never touch. However, you joined Team Plasma regardless. You're not sure why. Maybe you were simply bored. Or maybe you wanted to deprive some lazy f ucks of their Pokémon that they rely too much on.
You were there when they raided the Nacrene City Museum and you provided time in Pinwheel Forest by stalling that brat from Nuvema Town. Much good that did. You were saddled with two retarded Patrats. No match against the brat's starting Pokémon they got from the b itch and the elemental monkey that they somehow got way before they entered Pinwheel Forest. One of your co-workers said some w hore was just giving them away in the Dreamyard. By the time Plasma agents got to her, she had already given away all of her monkeys to ALL THREE OF THE D IPSHITS FROM NUVEMA TOWN! And worst of all, not only did the one brat manage to steal the Dragon's Skull away from Team Plasma, but it turns out the Dragon's Skull was NOT what Ghetsis thought it was and was completely goddamn worthless to the team! You got the wrath of the f aggot gym leader and Mammy Jemima upon your head for nothing!
You were in Driftveil City and were captured by Clay. Your two pathetic Patrats were no match against his Excadrill. You had two of the brats to thank for causing enough commotion on the bridge to allow for your escape. You were still trapped within city limits, however, and beat a hasty retreat to the Cold Storage at the south part of the city. What a f ucking goddamn brilliant plan that was. The brats still managed to track your a ss down and you couldn't even fight back because your Pokémon were still goddamn unconscious. You could only watch as your teammates sent Patrat after f ucking Patrat, Purrloin after motherf ucking Purrloin against the brats, and have them trounced in one hit over and over. You remember thinking, "How does Ghetsis expect us to get anything done when he only gives us Patrats and Purrloins to fight with?" Of course, using Pokémon publically would be completely against what Team Plasma stood for, so all members had to abandon their already caught Pokémon when they joined. You had to get rid of several Pokémon when you joined. You guess that, in the back of your mind, you had been hoping to get more powerful Pokémon upon joining. But of course, if anyone saw Team Plasma members catching additional Pokémon, the public outcry would be catastrophic, so you were barred from catching anything remotely useful.
You were there at Dragonspiral Tower when that autistic retard, N, awoken the legendary dragon. This was perhaps the worst assignment of them all. Any assignment that involved you directly working with N was incredibly grating. If he wasn't Ghetsis' son and could easily convince your Patrats not to attack him, you'd have sicced them on him a long time ago. His longwinded speeches about Pokémon being his friends and how they'd be better off without human masters were like nails on a chalkboard. This retard is one of the Legendary Heroes? He gets to control one of the legendary dragons? He doesn't even WANT to command them! And by this point, your two Watchogs were no match against the brat's SIX Pokémon of varying types.
You remember seeing the legendary dragon being reborn and thinking only of what you would do with such power. Getting rid of N would probably be the first thing on the list, just to show him what Pokémon are supposed to be used for. Disposing of the brats would be next on the list. Hell, you might even have set it loose on your Watchogs, who have proven to be f ucking useless every step of the way.
You were there at N's Castle when it rose up from the depths of the earth and connected itself to the Pokémon League Champion Hall. You had been working your Watchogs to death making sure that the castle was constructed on schedule. Even in non-battling endeavors, they proved to be useless. When you heard that the brat was making his way through the castle, before you could even join in the fight, one of the gym leaders quickly dispatched you and your Pokémon. Unfortunately, this time, they brought police, and you were arrested. At least they finally took the damn Watchogs off your hands. Later, in prison, you heard that both N and Ghetsis had been defeated by the brat, whom it turns out is the other Legendary Hero who wields a legendary dragon. Worse yet, N outright defected and made off to parts unknown with his unstoppable juggernaut.
For two years you stewed in your own anger in prison. You lost because you were weak. No, because your Pokémon were weak. And your enemies' Pokémon were strong. Your entire time spent as a member of Team Plasma just goes to show just how wrong N's philosophy was. You needed Pokémon, strong Pokémon, in order to get what you want. And what you wanted right now, was revenge. Revenge against the gym leaders that took you out. Revenge against the police that threw you into this rotting cell. Revenge against the little s hit that repeatedly got in your way time and time again.
Imagine your surprise when, one day, one of the Seven Sages comes to your cell, saying that you're being released. What, is he working for the government now? Does he expect you to suddenly make nice with the bastards that left you here to rot? But no, Zinzolin has other plans. Ghetsis is back, forming a new Team Plasma, with Zinzolin heading recruitment for the team. You fight back the urge to spit in his face. What kind of a fool does he take you for? Who repeats the same thing over again and expects a different result?
But then Zinzolin informs you that there are going to be changes to the plan. For starters, the whole "liberate Pokémon" angle is being dropped completely. Everyone will know from sight that this new Team Plasma is not some Skitty-coddler, and that they should fear their very presence. No longer was the plan "win the hearts of the people and separate Pokémon from humans." It was now an open declaration of war against Unova, with the end goal no less than Unova's total submission to your rule. There is even talk about using a Pokémon whose power surpasses even that of the legendary dragons.
In addition, Ghetsis will be in charge much more directly. No more shadow puppets. No more double agendas, trying to fulfill both N's and Ghetsis' plans simultaneously. More interestingly, Ghetsis managed to use some connections with a company in Kanto to gain access to a large cache of sophisticated technology. The new Team Plasma won't be working with cuddles and words, but with weapons and cutting edge technology. He even brought on a brilliant scientist who believes in harnessing the raw power of Pokémon, not befriending them and segregating the black from the white.
So why you? Team Plasma had hundreds of members two years ago. As it turns out, Ghetsis is far more perceptive than you thought. He noticed your desire for power. He noted your repeated exposure to the brat from Nuvema Town. He saw the look in your eyes when you gazed upon the legendary dragon. He heard you berate your Patrats for being weak. He noticed that you were not like many of the Team Plasma grunts, who genuinely believed and followed N. You were to be selected for this new, more aggressive, Team Plasma. You would be allowed to make much more direct and pragmatic plays when dealing with the enemy. And what enemy could be a threat to you? N disappeared two years ago and rumor has it that the brat went looking for him and hasn't been seen since. The other brat is a new gym leader and school teacher, so he wouldn't have time to hunt you down.
You ask about the Pokémon you would be using. You note, rather venomously, that the whole idea is shot to s hit if you can only use f ucking Patrats and Purrloins. Zinzolin notes that since this new Team Plasma doesn't care about maintaining a friendly image towards the public, that you are free to use whatever you like. You already have plans on catching a few new Dark type Pokémon for your team. Looking around your cell, you know what your decision is.
"When do we start?"