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Thread: Survival Project (PG-13)

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  1. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by gotpika View Post
    I really like Atis a lot, he's a type of character with a very "Social Anxiety"-ish demeanor and personality, that's what I like about him. He's relatable in that aspect, not to mention he's just interesting since he seems to want the students to choose a path in life other then Pokemon, which is a bit surprising since a lot of peoples' worlds in Pokemon revolve around Pokemon, trying to escape them is futile in a way. I can understand how he might feel attached to some of the kids after hanging out with them so often, it was really endearing. His attitude toward Sai was pretty nicely written, he certainly is the type of character who doesn't like too much attention despite having such strength and being fully evolved at that. He seems more street smarter and tougher then Kuiora or Senori.
    Feel like I'm pretty much reading my notes here. You really got his character.

    Quote Originally Posted by gotpika View Post
    I wonder why Faulkner would use his tired Pidgeotto against Atis? Seemed weird, and a bit of an advantage for Sai. I was surprised Sai gave no orders to Atis and let him do his own thing, the backstory on Atis evolving due to high amount of school battles and living with Earl was pretty nice stuff. He seems like a real fun character to write, and you really "feel" his anxiety.
    Falkner used the tired Pidgeotto because that's all he really has. It's never really explicitly stated, but since he says he's been through many battles for the day already, it can be inferred.

    Quote Originally Posted by gotpika View Post
    Can't believe Earl just let Atis go, just like "that" with no problem.
    Seemed odd when I was writing it too, though Earl seems like the type of guy who goes along with anything thrown his way. He also just wanted Atis to be happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by gotpika View Post
    I might even say she's stronger then Senori probably, sure Senori is Sai's first but he's not really strong for a supposed leader, at least in comparison to Kuiora and Atis.
    That's assuming that the only strength you need as a leader is physical strength.

    Quote Originally Posted by gotpika View Post
    The Cave Interaction scene was interesting, I wonder if that'll get done any further or if the boy will appear again.
    The boy will definitely appear again. I hope to expand on that scene since it was kind of cut short.

    Thanks for reading/reviewing. Would you like to be on the PM list? You're almsot caught up.


    Quote Originally Posted by C.Gholy View Post
    In some of the chapters, I noticed that the end of the chapters didn't have much of a closure, which is understandable considering it's not the end. At the same time I didn't feel as if there were cliffhangers either.
    Interesting. It may have something to do with the fact I've never really written anything chaptered before? I don't quite know how to close a chapter. Any suggestions?

    Quote Originally Posted by C.Gholy View Post
    The dialogue seemed fine to me, although there were times it felt a little bit repetitive.
    I'm glad you liked the fic, and I'll watch out for repetitive dialogue in the future. Would you like to be added to the PM list?

    Quote Originally Posted by Janovy View Post
    Sai is an enigma. When he was was first introduced, he resembled a cold-hearted robot but last chapter completely threw me off with Sai being ecstatic about stuff and wanting to go in everyone's houses - at the very end, he went crazy going as far to throw a lamp at Atis. Perhaps Sai is bipolar? Perhaps he can't control his emotions well? Could that be the reason he prefers staying cold all the time? Because it certainly seems like it. And like others have already said, he's very cryptic and I just can decipher his character - he's very interesting and, I can just say bravo for creating such an intriguing and enigmatic character who forces you to question him and his actions whilst making you wish for more and driving you crazy in your desire to find out more about him.

    Is he any relation to the title of this story? Survival project? Does Sai have anything to do with this?

    I wouldn't be surprised if he did, though I can't even come up with a single theory regarding that. Except for him wanting to gather all eight badges, I have no clue where this story is going and that's a good thing - that keeps things suspenseful and interesting.
    I'm glad you like Sai so much. And you've got some interesting theories about his odd behavior already. The title does refer to everyone, though it does refer to Sai more than anyone else. Hopefully the mystery behind it all won't be a disappointment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janovy View Post
    She will definitely be the strongest one day, haha.
    Oh, I love your Kuiora-like attitude here. I'm glad you like her so much, she does seem to be a lot of peoples' favorites.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janovy View Post
    I'm quite happy Atis left because - being a mascot? Seriously? Is that really better than traveling the exciting world of Pokémon?
    "the exciting world of pokemon" - Atis may beat you up for that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janovy View Post
    I know, I know - this review sucks.
    Actually, I enjoyed the review and appreciate it very much. This is a character-driven fic so it's always nice to get feedback on the characters.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janovy View Post
    You do a great job on having a Pokémon talk about its surroundings, explaining how it feels, what it sees - I can understand which chapter revolves around which Pokémon without even looking at the title - they have distinctive personalities so it's easy to identify them.
    Oh, yes. Good, good.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janovy View Post
    I'm looking forward to the fourth team member, though I'm hoping for a more original way of Sai getting it. Perhaps the certain Pokémon starts following Sai around? It'd be a nice change of pace and quite refreshing.
    Hmmm, I was thinking about how to catch the next pokemon, but I completely forgot what I had in mind. That's what I get for leaving the fic alone for a month, though I think it was a well-needed break.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janovy View Post
    Oh, and one last thing: How come people can understand Pokémon in your world?
    Nurse Joy understands them because she spends so much time with pokemon. So does Sai--it adds to his mystery as you ask, why? And where? No one else has been seen being able to talk to pokemon. I believe that if you spend time with them, you understand them based off of gestures, tone of voice, etc.

    Thanks for reading/reviewing, and I'll be getting to your fic after this. Would you like to be adding to PM list?

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Hello! I've been following Survival Project since it started, and I must say, this is one of my favorite fics on Serebii right now. You're obviously an excellent writer, and every new chapter is so intriguing and full of surprises. I've been wanting to review this for a while, and I'm glad that I finally get the chance to do so!
    This makes me glad that I had to take a month-long break from writing this. I'm glad you decided to tell me you've been reading.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Chapter 2: I liked the reference to the "horrific myth" story from Diamond and Pearl at the beginning of the chapter. It makes me wonder if this scene will become more important later on.
    If all goes according to plan, it should be important! If you're a writer you know that nothing usually goes as planned.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Also, she has a very unique name - how did you come up with it? (Kui means eat in Japanese, so I was wondering if that's what you were going for.)
    I believe one of the meanings for "Kui" in Chinese is fearsome and awe-struck, and "ora" means prayer, referring to her religious fascination. There's so many meanings out there, but basically I put together small phrases/words like that and make a name.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    And something occured to me as I read this for the second time: I think it would be really interesting if Sai were to catch a Sneasel later on in the fic. It would certainly add an extra layer of tension to Senori's character. But you can disregard this, I'm really just thinking out loud here.
    I've been thinking the same thing. It makes me feel like a cruel, cruel person. But it's totally possible, LOL.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    I'm still wondering what Sai's true purpose is. How can he keep getting away with knowing next to nothing about Pokemon?!
    With a lot of luck and sympathy on the writer's part. Just kidding on that second part, kind of. He better enjoy it while it lasts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    So, as I said before, I'm really enjoying this fic so far, and I'm looking forward to see where you're going to go with this. I'll try to review Chapters 5-7 soon. (I hope my comments helped, by the way. I was really just writing down my impressions to everything, so I hope it all made sense.) I'd really appreciate if you could put me on the PM list - I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
    It was helpful, don't worry. And I'll fix those mistakes you pointed out soon. I'll add you to PM list as well. Thanks a lot!

    To anyone about the next chapter:

    I hope to have it up soon. I already have 1500 words down and the outline for the chapter's events, just have to keep going. I don't really want to make excuses, you can ask why I haven't written if you want, but yeah, I'll try to have it up soon. MOTIVATION, ANYONE?!
    Last edited by diamondpearl876; 8th June 2012 at 2:42 AM.

    | survival project |
    | this trainer is different. everyone knows it, but no one can explain it. |
    | complete |


    | flying in the dark |
    | he's hiding something. she just doesn't know it. |
    | on hiatus|


    | love and other nightmares |
    | limited time, limited abilities. kyurem says she can be cured in exchange for saving those who need saving. |
    | chapter 3 released 11/22/14 |


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