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Thread: Survival Project (PG-13)

  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    I had learned some things while traveling with Sai thus far. First and foremost, I had learned that every person and pokémon should have their own name for the sake of clarity. I had learned that not everyone knows about the legendary pokémon and how special they are. I had learned that every building looks almost the same, with some exceptions. I could live with those exceptions. But I could not live with the exception for the most important thing I had learned: I had spent so much time trying to separate myself from everyone else that no one could realize my superiority.

    I hated admitting it, but Senori was right. Sai didn’t know how hard I had trained, and therefore he didn’t use me in the battle like I wanted him to. I had foolishly expected him to just… know what I had done. Panic coursed through me as I saw him send Senori out to the battle field. I jumped and jumped, tried to get his attention, but it didn’t work. Asking directly didn’t work, either. Anyone can expect things to happen, jump up and down, or ask for things. But not everyone can work as hard as me to get what they want. So, naturally, I was beyond confused and had way too many questions.

    The only conclusion I could come to was that there were exceptions. Senori hadn’t done anything at all to get the special attention he got at the gym. He was chosen by Sai without a second thought, and the boy stood up for him despite how he needed that badge so badly and as quickly as possible. Yes, the sentret’s battle was rather humiliating, but being chosen by our trainer was still an accomplishment. Why was Senori an exception? Why was he Sai’s first pokémon? What about Atis, who wasn’t rewarded for the hard work he did at Violet City? How did the hitmontop seem so much closer to Sai than the rest of us?

    …What about me?
    In my mind, I'm screaming at Kuiora to do the simple thing: tell Sai that you want to be really good. Really good, and that Sai should let Kuiora be used to her full potential. Although, Kuiora isn't like me at all. I suppose that idea never occured/s to her.

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    “That’s not really fair,” I pointed out. “That means Sai will just choose me because I’m last choice.”

    “You’re a baby. It’s not an insult, he’s just protecting you…”

    “I’m a baby, but I’m going to be better than you soon enough. Amazing, right?” I said, glaring at the pokémon. For a fighting-type, he sure chose odd battles to fight. “Do you think Sai will be taking long?”
    I love this.
    Atis, socially anxious and seeing the obvious.
    Kuiora, immediately assuming that Atis was threatening her (slight misjudgment... only slightly ) non-existent status. So, she goes defensive, and is not to friendly to a pokemon that could probably kick her but (but would never do so, as it would be reflecting attention right at him).

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    “Fine,” I said, thinking that I would need to learn from my mistakes and make sure there was a witness to my power, anyway.
    I don't understand the "learn from my mistakes" part.

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    “We’ll do it,” Atis said, with no hesitation.
    Maybe its just me, but this seems very unlike Atis.
    Is there some motive I'm not seeing?

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    “Let’s see what I can do,” I mumbled. Since Bugsy was no longer available to glare at, I stared at Atis instead, hoping to shock him into thinking that this was hopeless after all, that Sai would just have to get the badge on his own time, like a normal trainer.
    Interesting. Kuiora loses all drive when there is no battle involved. She thinks that Sai won't realize her power if she gets the badge a different way.

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    “You’d ask that about any pokémon, so I don’t feel too inclined to answer.”
    This made me laugh.

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    Suddenly, a green aura appeared that stung my foot a bit. Naturally, I moved back, afraid of the new… attack? I couldn’t tell what this thing was. The circular barrier surrounded all of Atis’s body, and continued to do so as he stood up slowly, not facing me.

    “I’m not useless, you know,” he said—calmly, I noticed. “I know Sai better than you do. I helped children… even if I didn’t want to…”
    At first I thought the light was evolution light.
    This isn't going to be good.

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    He still didn’t turn to face me. He was trying to stand up for himself and was still being shy when doing so, of course. Instead, however, he lifted his leg, and I knew an attack was coming, so I braced myself, tried to move back even further so maybe he’d miss.
    You have a double space in between "me" and him"

    Wow....
    At first, I din't like the chapter as much as others because it didn't have Sai in it, and your characters are the greatest thing about your story.
    But then... with Atis... well, now Atis is drawing me in.

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  2. #102
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    Hello again! Here to review your latest chapter, which I thought was the most interesting one yet (I swear, I say that to myself every time).

    First, though, I'll respond to your previous comments (sorry for the delay, I just didn't want to monopolize the thread, if that makes any sense).

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    You at least seem to know basics (symptoms of ADHD, for instance, which is a disorder almost everyone thinks they have when they obviously don't, since playing on Facebook constantly when you need to do homework does not equal ADHD) and the difference between commonly misunderstood disorders (bipolar and multiple personality disorder are often considered the same thing, for instance, but if you pointed them both out in different contexts, you seem to know the basic difference). Don't mind me, I'm big into psychology stuff so I like seeing people at least acknowledge disorders or not fall into the myths surrounding them.
    Well, I guess I do have a basic knowledge of psychology-related things; I haven't taken any courses for it for a while, but I am somewhat familiar with certain disorders, I suppose. For example, I know that a lot of young kids these days are diagnosed with ADHD just because they're hyper in class when they don't actually have the disorder. (I think that's more a product of an inadequate school system, but that's another story.) But knowing that you're interested in psychology gives some insight into how you're writing your characters, I think. It helps me understand their quirks better, if you will. : )

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    It's funny because everyone wants fics that AREN'T like the games, so I try to do that. And then people are like... what?! :P Glad you seem to like the surprises though.
    Sorry for contributing to the confusion. But yes, I do enjoy the surprises.

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    I may have not made this point clear, my fault. Kuiora trained an awful lot... by herself, so no one else saw her. Kuiora didn't say she never trained, it was Senori who said he never saw her train. Sorry for the confusion... unless there really is some part I wrote that proved otherwise... I forget. :P
    No, you're right. I was thinking it over, and yes, Senori was the one who brought that up. Sorry (again). XD

    With that done, let's move on to the latest chapter!

    Chapter 9: I really, really like how things are shaping up here. Lots of great character development, and do I spot a recurring rival of sorts?

    When I was watching Kuiora punch Sai over and over again, when I was watching her evolve… I felt like my body was falling away from me, through the floor, and then back into myself, over and over again. When my body was falling, it was as if I was dreaming of what my life could be, but wasn’t. And when my body righted itself again, I was reminded that this was real, and that I simply didn’t know what to do about it. The sudden violence wasn’t entirely unexpected. She had been getting more and more desperate, and I had told her about Sai fighting me, thinking nothing of it at the time…I had told her that Sai fought me because it was what fate had brought upon me, upon us, not so that she could use the idea herself. Nevertheless, here she was, freezing me and everyone else in the pokémon center, leaving us to only wonder why she was doing this, why she evolved at this moment of shame, and most of all, why Sai felt compelled to punch her back.
    Once again, I think Senori is pointing out the confusion and ambiguity I felt as I read that scene for the first time. I do like the part where he implies that he was fated to be with Sai from the start and seems to think that Kuiora "stole" that right, as if he's somehow superior to her. Despite his uneasiness, his confidence does show through, in very unlikely ways.

    “I know, and I’m sorry,” Sai said, standing up now. He moved slowly, carefully, as if he would break or as if Kuiora would attack him again at any moment.

    “I’m strong, and I wanted you to know it. You’re not allowed to say sorry!” she replied. She crossed her arms, but made no sign of future violence.

    “But I always knew that,” Sai said, chuckling slightly. I vaguely wondered if he was telling the truth, but decided that I’d never speak about it.

    “Then why didn’t you use me?”

    “Everyone on the team has to fight. If I only focused on you, all the others would get left behind.”

    “Who cares about the others? I’m special, aren’t I?”

    “Of course you are… I chose you for a reason.”

    “You chose me because I was the strongest, of course!”

    “Yes, yes I did. But you have quite the temper, don’t you? But you seem easy to please, so let’s make sure this never happens again…” Sai said seriously, looking down on her now, scolding her like the child she was.
    Love this bit right here. Kuiora seems to have gone back to her normal, egotistical self, which is great. And I'm surprised at Sai's responses, given that he was just beaten on by his own Pokemon. He really does seem to care about the well-being of his Pokemon, even if he doesn't always show it.

    Surprised to see the boy from the cave make his return, but it was a welcome surprise. I'm interested to see how Sai's interactions with him will play out over the course of the story.

    “That’s not what this is about,” the boy said, breaking eye contact for just a moment. “I bet you don’t know a damn thing about your pokémon, especially not the sentret you almost got killed.”

    Sai sighed, his face softening quickly. “I know that Atis likes the top bunk on the bed at night. I know that Kuiora likes to tell stories like no other. When we sleep outside I know that Senori likes the area with the most grass. Kuiora loves learning about things outside of herself even if she won’t admit it, and Senori always seems sad for some reason I can’t quite figure out yet. Just because it doesn’t look like I’m listening or watching doesn’t mean I’m oblivious.”

    When Sai said that, I completely forgot about my trying to decide which trainer to stick up for. Did Sai really pay that much attention to us, enough attention to know about the little things? Did I really even like the area with the most grass? I didn’t even notice, and it certainly never seemed like he paid attention to anything but whatever crazy ramblings went on inside his head. I decided to stay silent for Sai, and watch him deal with this situation by himself.
    Wow, Sai knows more about his Pokemon than I thought. I'm glad to see him stand up for his team. And he endeared himself to cute little Senori even more. : )

    But the boy wasn’t about to give up. He came up to the counter as well and said, “Have you not learned your lesson? I’m surprised Nurse Joy isn’t reporting you. If I see one more incident I will report you, though I don’t want to let it get to that.”

    Sai turned to the boy, glaring once more. “And just what do you mean by that?”

    “Fight me. Battle me so they can see what kind of trainer I am, and let them decide if they want to stay with you or not.”
    That's a bold proclamation right there. I wonder what this guy's true motive is? Is he like this with other trainers whom he perceives to have mistreated their Pokemon, or has he been... sent to keep Sai on track somehow?

    Kuiora's story was creepy. Didn't expect Litwick to make an appearance. But then, after having read your one-shot, I suppose this brand of dark storytelling makes sense. ; ) Again, I wonder whether this story will come into play later?

    Your battles are so interesting. They have an immediacy to them that really draws me in, and I love how you've kept each Pokemon's battling style true to their nature. Also glad to see Kuiora finally getting into the action while Sai is watching. Both Kuiora and Halcyon seemed to be in-sync with their trainers as well, something I expected coming from someone like Marty and a nice change of pace on Sai's end. His confidence in commanding his Pokemon is growing, slowly but surely.

    Kuiora stood up as tall as she could, just as she had when she confronted Sai. We could all tell how proud she was as she inhaled sharply and exhaled a long, steady stream of water toward the butterfree, the first official enemy of hers. Halcyon, with its wings still flapping quickly, easily moved out of the way. It stopped mid-air and looked at Kuiora, waiting for its next move. But its mistake lied in stopping, as Kuiora simply moved her body in the butterfree’s direction, bringing the water gun attack with her. The steady stream of natural liquid never stopped, just relocated—and it ended up colliding head-on with the bug’s small purple face and torso. Halcyon didn’t cry out or move, just took the brunt of the attack.
    Yay for Kuiora's (non-angry) confidence. She still operates by brute force, but there are some subtle developments of strategy here, I think.

    Once the croconaw realized the situation as well, she immediately started propelling herself forward, past the yellow substance that was paralyzing her. I could tell that she was trying to run, but it looked more and more like jogging. Still, the butterfree remained suspended and focused on its attack as she got closer and closer, and when she was finally close enough, she jumped as high as she could and grabbed the butterfree with her clawed hands. Halcyon’s wings could no longer help him, and the stun spore attack ceased as he tried to free himself in vain. Kuiora had a firm grasp on him, despite the attack—it simply hadn’t had enough time to sink in and get to her completely yet.

    Kuiora pulled down Halcyon and kept him in place with one hand. Instead of biting, Kuiora pulled back her other hand and thrust it forward, knocking the butterfree right out of her hands and into the bushes at the edge of the clearing. Kuiora, though she did not appear as tall and proud, stood there as tall as she could, tired and restrained from her battle. She was still smiling, though, which was a good sign. Marty ran over to the bushes to check on Halcyon, but came back with nothing.
    Kuiora's strived so hard to do well for Sai. Her first real battle was a commendable one.

    “Senori, use tail whip!” Sai called to me.

    I ran over to Gracie, who was recovering from using her ember attack. She shrieked and covered her face with her tiny cream-colored paws as I attempted to smack her with my tail.

    “Are you scared?” I asked, sort of actually feeling sorry for her.

    “I get scared easily…” Gracie said, her voice trailing off, “but I can still fight!”

    After she finished her sentence, she removed her paws from her face and ran toward me this time, so quick that she was leaving afterimages behind her every time she moved. Every cyndaquil I saw looked the same, and I couldn’t tell who was real and who wasn’t. I turned my body to the left and right, trying to find a good time to escape, but each time I turned, Gracie or her afterimages followed and I second guessed myself. This time, she smacked into me, sending me careening into the bushes this time instead of Halcyon.
    Aww, poor Senori. His naivete and pity towards others never quite works out well for him.

    When I went to get up, however, I saw another pokémon staring down at me.

    “I see that boy around here a lot,” it said. It was a bird pokémon, with white feathers covering all around its neck, with only one red feather sticking up at the top of its head. Its blue-grey colored face stared down at me, smiling. Its beak opened and shut numerous times, trying to speak. “If you want to end this quick, just hit Gracie on the back. It’s her weak point. She’ll get scared, and with her trying not to fall, you can put enough pressure on her tiny legs to where she can’t get back up.”

    “W-What?” I said, confused. Where had this bird come from, anyway? Had it been watching the entire time? And why even care about Marty and Sai and Gracie and me? I stumbled back to my feet quickly and hopped out of the bushes, not even bothering to say anything or look at the pokémon.
    Huh, that was weird. What's a Rufflet doing in the middle of Ilex Forest? And why is it helping Senori? Will it be another one of those recurring characters? So many questions...

    Still, as the battle continued, I couldn’t forget what the bird had said. I didn’t want to cheat and hit Gracie on the back, but she was starting to wear me down. She had hit me into the bushes, and now she was aiming more ember attacks at me and making me run as much as possible, exhausting my energy. I did want to end this quick so that Marty didn’t win and find further reason to antagonize Sai the way he was, but still—

    I decided to try a similar strategy, one that I could be proud of. When Gracie shot out her next ember attack, I stopped and let it come straight at me. I prepared my tail as I watched the oncoming embers, and when it was finally close enough, I swung my tail at each and every one. While the embers simply dissipated upon contact, Gracie thought that they were going to come flying back at her and started cowering in fear once more, covering those already closed eyes of hers. Then I ran at her again and tackled her, hitting her in the side rather than mostly on her back. Seeing how small her legs were made me think that maybe there was enough pressure applied so that she couldn’t get up again, or perhaps just be fainted after battling so long and using so much energy on her ember attacks. Either way, she was finished battling, as she didn’t get up again, just kept whining.
    Okay, Senori has officially won me over with his cuteness. He seems to feel that it's his duty to be noble towards others. I love how he thinks the tip he got from the Rufflet is "playing dirty." And he showed his ingenuity by taking that tip and adapting it to his more gentle style, without taking advantage of Gracie. So adorable. : )

    “You did well, Kuiora, Senori. And Atis would have done well too. I’m sorry that Marty feels compelled to do this… and I’m sorry that I’m inclined to agree with him on some points. Maybe, someday…” he said, stopping to smile softly. “Maybe someday I can love you as much as I was meant to.”
    Aww, what a nice comment from Sai. And interesting, too, that he says "as much as I was meant to." What is this kid's real purpose, anyway?!

    “Why are you so set on trying to get rid of me as a trainer?” Sai asked, looking up at the other boy.

    “I should just report you and have your pokémon forcibly taken from you,” Marty retorted.

    “That doesn’t answer my question,” Sai said, still calm and tired.

    “Most pokémon don’t know what a real good trainer can be like. The only example they usually have is their first trainer… and by the time they realize what they really need and want in a trainer, they’re too far from home to find their way back. It’s too late, and they feel trapped. But I don’t want pokémon to feel that way!”
    Why has Marty taken it upon himself to educate "bad" trainers and lead their Pokemon away? He kind of reminds me of N from Black and White. This definitely isn't the last we'll see of him...

    And finally, very interesting last few lines. Yeah, the moral dilemma thing really reminds me of Black and White. Hooray for another compelling subplot. And I'm glad Senori chose to stay with Sai. He can't turn his back on his clan now. : )

    A couple of typos I spotted (Dragonicwari got most of them):

    “Mean,” Kuiora said, crossing her arms. “There are no legends about me yet, anyway, but there will be someday.”
    Did you mean "Meanie"? It doesn't seem to make sense to me as it is.

    How was Ari doing, anyway? What about the rest of the clan? Had they perhaps located due to what happened?
    I think you may have meant "relocated."

    And one other (very minor) thing:

    Nevertheless, here she was, freezing me and everyone else in the pokémon center, leaving us to only wonder why she was doing this, why she evolved at this moment of shame, and most of all, why Sai felt compelled to punch her back.
    Technically a split infinitive here; "leaving us only to wonder" might sound a little better, but it's not a big deal. (My inner grammar Nazi is on overdrive right now; sorry about that! XP)

    Overall: Awesome chapter. This fic keeps getting more complex and intriguing all the time.

    Thanks again for a great read!

    ~Crimson Penguin

    Friend Safari - Bug with Butterfree/Volbeat/Vivillon - PM me for my FC!
        Spoiler:- Shiny hunting stuff:


  3. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    Sai was able to understand his pokémon while they couldn’t.
    Yeah, the IIRC was right.

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    “It simply would have been a sin to the gods had she done anything else but die saving him,” she explained. Atis lay on the top bunk, as usual, saying nothing, perhaps not even listening, just thinking. I lay on the floor, curling my tail around my body, occasionally looking up to watch Sai’s reaction carefully. Yes, he was listening, and he was listening well. The croconaw went on.
    Interesting. Whenever he realizes something is the standard way to do it, he does it. Sometimes he overdoes it.
    Which leads me to believe that something drives him to be normal... although he isn't because he doesn't know what is normal (maybe wherever he was before, what he did was normal, though). He was determined to catch a starter pokemon, shop, and listen.
    I can think of three general reasons:
    some traumatic event/brain damage (although I think he is in no way stupid/foolish/moronic, quiet the opposite, although he has a strange absence of knowledgable about the world he lives in) I think this is more likely then the other guesses considering your Author Profile.
    something or someone is being held hostage; if he doesn't act like a normal trainer, something bad happens to him or the someone is killed/tortured
    he was programmed in some way by the people he was with before to follow social norms.
    Ah... when all the mysteries in this story are revealed, we will go "Duh, why didn't I think of that?"

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    The candle had really been a rare pokémon shaped like a candle, its purplish glow said to steal the energy of humans and pokémon alike just to be able to burn some more. The man had no energy to stop the fire, or to even notice it was happening. He died in pain, but without even realizing he was in pain.
    This doesn't make sense. Kuiora is obviously talking about a Litwick, yes. But how in the world did Kuiora find out about Litwick(s)? She is very young, and has lived in Johto for all her life.

    Is it to big of a spoiler to tell us whether Sai gets a new pokemon at any point in the story?

    |Pokemon Parodies|Newest Parody:"The Dog Who is Staying"|

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  4. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonicwari View Post
    There was a moment of silence. The boy looked around, glaring at the people who were still watching. “It Doesn’t matter if you listen or watch, if your pokémon don’t feel like you do,” he finally said, not looking at Sai anymore.

    I found it somewhat easier to read my way, but I might be totally off


    Every year, on the anniversary of the day they both died, the widowed man would dance with the air, imagining his wife there instead. Every year, he read a story to himself, imagining that it was his son he was telling it to. Other than this, the town never saw him changes his ways; they said he only changed his tires and his dreams.

    At the end where it says changes I believe it should say change

    Halcyon stayed in the air, its wings flapping slower now to help keep the bug suspended, stuck in place, just like the rest of us were at the moment. According to Marty, we were all stuck herepitifully and against our will, and according to Sai, we were all stuck here because the other boy was in our way and was just another obstacle to overcome… Whose beliefs should I have been following? Marty made me wonder, maybe only because he saved me, maybe because fate brought him to me not once, but twice now.
    Fixed the mistakes, thanks for pointing them out!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jazz14456_Whenwilltheychangeitback View Post
    In my mind, I'm screaming at Kuiora to do the simple thing: tell Sai that you want to be really good. Really good, and that Sai should let Kuiora be used to her full potential. Although, Kuiora isn't like me at all. I suppose that idea never occured/s to her.
    Not at all. Sai's attention wouldn't be legit if she just told him up front about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jazz14456_Whenwilltheychangeitback View Post
    I don't understand the "learn from my mistakes" part.
    Kuiora's made the mistake of keeping her power hidden in the past (ie training with no one watching and such) so she's learning from her mistake and bringing Atis along, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jazz14456_Whenwilltheychangeitback View Post
    Maybe its just me, but this seems very unlike Atis.
    Is there some motive I'm not seeing?
    Atis would prefer evolving a pokemon over battling, since it demands a lot of attention. He also doesn't think battling is everything to pokemon just as he thinks pokemon isn't everything to humans, so a change of pace was fine by him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jazz14456_Whenwilltheychangeitback View Post
    Is it to big of a spoiler to tell us whether Sai gets a new pokemon at any point in the story?
    Yes, the next two chapters will be introducing new pokemon for Sai.

    Also, Kuiora can know of Litwick because she's heard all of these stories from Professor Elm. I never really got the "Johto can't know about Unova pokemon" thing so I'm trying to incorporate other regions if I can make it work.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Well, I guess I do have a basic knowledge of psychology-related things; I haven't taken any courses for it for a while, but I am somewhat familiar with certain disorders, I suppose. For example, I know that a lot of young kids these days are diagnosed with ADHD just because they're hyper in class when they don't actually have the disorder. (I think that's more a product of an inadequate school system, but that's another story.) But knowing that you're interested in psychology gives some insight into how you're writing your characters, I think. It helps me understand their quirks better, if you will. : )
    Indeed, psychology and disorders really contribute to this fic. Now you know!

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Wow, Sai knows more about his Pokemon than I thought. I'm glad to see him stand up for his team. And he endeared himself to cute little Senori even more. : )
    I thought a lot of scenes in this chapter were cute to write, so glad you pointed some of them out. 8)

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    That's a bold proclamation right there. I wonder what this guy's true motive is? Is he like this with other trainers whom he perceives to have mistreated their Pokemon, or has he been... sent to keep Sai on track somehow?
    I can certainly say there's no ulterior mtoive, just that Marty would do this to any trainer. It's just his personality.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Kuiora's story was creepy. Didn't expect Litwick to make an appearance. But then, after having read your one-shot, I suppose this brand of dark storytelling makes sense. ; ) Again, I wonder whether this story will come into play later?
    Kuiora's stories will always come into play later, and they will all have the same theme (I'd look back to chapter 2's beginning if you're interested).

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Huh, that was weird. What's a Rufflet doing in the middle of Ilex Forest? And why is it helping Senori? Will it be another one of those recurring characters? So many questions...
    Rufflet's appearance will be explained next chapter. It's a new main character... I was hoping to introduce it now so I didn't have a new pokemon randomly showing up as a POV character in the next chapter and make everyone mad, lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Technically a split infinitive here; "leaving us only to wonder" might sound a little better, but it's not a big deal. (My inner grammar Nazi is on overdrive right now; sorry about that! XP)
    Nah, don't apologize for pointing it out. Fixed the errors. Shame on me for ignoring the split infinitive when I actually know what it is.

    Thanks for commenting/reviewing as always! I always look forward to your reviews.

    | survival project |
    | this trainer is different. everyone knows it, but no one can explain it. |
    | complete |


    | flying in the dark |
    | he's hiding something. she just doesn't know it. |
    | on hiatus|


    | love and other nightmares |
    | limited time, limited abilities. kyurem says she can be cured in exchange for saving those who need saving. |
    | chapter 3 released 11/22/14 |


  5. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    I thought a lot of scenes in this chapter were cute to write, so glad you pointed some of them out. 8)
    I'm a sucker for cute things, what can I say. ; )

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    I can certainly say there's no ulterior motive, just that Marty would do this to any trainer. It's just his personality.
    Alright, well, at least there's no mystery behind it this time. Interesting rival, and I'll look forward to how Marty continues to challenge Sai as the fic goes on. (He will appear again, right?)

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    Kuiora's stories will always come into play later, and they will all have the same theme (I'd look back to chapter 2's beginning if you're interested).
    Yes, they seemed like they'd be important later on. Can't wait to see where these stories go.

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    Rufflet's appearance will be explained next chapter. It's a new main character... I was hoping to introduce it now so I didn't have a new pokemon randomly showing up as a POV character in the next chapter and make everyone mad, lol.
    Hmm, a Unova Pokemon in Johto? I'm curious to know the backstory on this guy (or girl). Good to see Sai finally getting another Pokemon, though (besides the Magikarp XD). And Atis didn't really have any foreshadowing before his introduction, so I personally wouldn't have minded too much, but I guess it's better to be safe than sorry.

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    Thanks for commenting/reviewing as always! I always look forward to your reviews.
    Wow, really? That's so kind. Thanks! ^_^

    Now if only I could get my lazy butt in gear and write more of that one-shot I'm working on...

    Anyway, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter as always!

    ~Crimson Penguin

    Friend Safari - Bug with Butterfree/Volbeat/Vivillon - PM me for my FC!
        Spoiler:- Shiny hunting stuff:


  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Alright, well, at least there's no mystery behind it this time. Interesting rival, and I'll look forward to how Marty continues to challenge Sai as the fic goes on. (He will appear again, right?)
    Yes, yes he will.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Yes, they seemed like they'd be important later on. Can't wait to see where these stories go.
    Me too....... lol *has only vague idea of where they're going*

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Hmm, a Unova Pokemon in Johto? I'm curious to know the backstory on this guy (or girl). Good to see Sai finally getting another Pokemon, though (besides the Magikarp XD). And Atis didn't really have any foreshadowing before his introduction, so I personally wouldn't have minded too much, but I guess it's better to be safe than sorry.
    I think Rufflet/Braviary can only be male, so that settles that. Where are all the female pokemon besides Kuiora?!

    And really? I guess I was slightly more wary due to the fact we're 9 chapters in now with a ton of character development done rather than just 3 chapters with little to no development. I'll keep it in mind for future chapters nonetheless.

    | survival project |
    | this trainer is different. everyone knows it, but no one can explain it. |
    | complete |


    | flying in the dark |
    | he's hiding something. she just doesn't know it. |
    | on hiatus|


    | love and other nightmares |
    | limited time, limited abilities. kyurem says she can be cured in exchange for saving those who need saving. |
    | chapter 3 released 11/22/14 |


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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    I think Rufflet/Braviary can only be male, so that settles that. Where are all the female pokemon besides Kuiora?!
    *facepalm* Duh. How could I have forgotten that?! My Poke-knowledge fails me sometimes, lol. And yes, I would like to see another female Pokemon at some point... but that's your decision, not mine.

    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    And really? I guess I was slightly more wary due to the fact we're 9 chapters in now with a ton of character development done rather than just 3 chapters with little to no development. I'll keep it in mind for future chapters nonetheless.
    It's just my personal opinion. I don't want to convince you otherwise if you're not comfortable with it. And I think you certainly packed a lot of development into the first 3 chapters; I wouldn't say there was "little to none." Those are the chapters that drew me in right off the bat, anyway. : )

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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    “Yes, yes I did. But you have quite the temper, don’t you? But you seem easy to please, so let’s make sure this never happens again…” Sai said seriously, looking down on her now, scolding her like the child she was.
    Is Sai describing Kuiora there...or himself? Everything he just said could equally be applied to himself. Nice juxtaposition, and a little obliviousness from Sai.

    “I didn’t know it would go that far,” Sai said, just as serious now and having to ignore Kuiora once more. He did pass her a glance, however, as he added, “I didn’t know what she wanted. She’s never told or asked me directly until now.”
    That's a little weird because he can't be ignoring her and passing her a glance. Maybe instead of "ignoring her, you can say he had to shift his attention from her?

    Sai glared at the other boy and said, “Are you really going to be angry over me being able to talk to my pokémon while you can’t?”
    This is totally acceptable because it is colloquial speech and a LOT of people say it that way, but on the off chance you don't already now (and I think you do, so I apologize if I'm just preaching to the choir), that "me" should be "my". But, like I said, you probably know that, and it still works as a person's incorrect colloquial speech.

    Sai sighed, his face softening quickly. “I know that Atis likes the top bunk on the bed at night. I know that Kuiora likes to tell stories like no other. When we sleep outside I know that Senori likes the area with the most grass. Kuiora loves learning about things outside of herself even if she won’t admit it, and Senori always seems sad for some reason I can’t quite figure out yet. Just because it doesn’t look like I’m listening or watching doesn’t mean I’m oblivious.”

    When Sai said that, I completely forgot about my trying to decide which trainer to stick up for. Did Sai really pay that much attention to us, enough attention to know about the little things? Did I really even like the area with the most grass? I didn’t even notice, and it certainly never seemed like he paid attention to anything but whatever crazy ramblings went on inside his head. I decided to stay silent for Sai, and watch him deal with this situation by himself.
    What a nice little development here. We hadn't truly gotten a sense that his pokemon were much more to Sai than tools for his mysterious mission other than a few subtle bits. But this here gives us a much better read on how much he cares.

    “What’s your name, anyway, kid?”

    “My name? My name is Marty.”

    “Well, Marty, I’m not worried at all. You’re on, but I’m waiting for Kuiora,” Sai said, and that was the end of the scuffle in the pokémon center, but not the questions inside my head. Fate may have been trying to tell me something, maybe leaving Sai was really an option… Who could ever know?
    You know what I like about this? Despite it being a Senori chapter, it has read much more as a Sai chapter. I feel kind of bad that, thus far, Senori has been reduced to narrative spectator in his own chapter, but it's given us a chance to learn more about Sai, which has been delightful.

    Every year, on the anniversary of the day they both died, the widowed man would dance with the air, imagining his wife there instead. Every year, he read a story to himself, imagining that it was his son he was telling it to. Other than this, the town never saw him change his ways; they said he only changed his tires and his dreams.
    I don't want to interrupt this wonderful little fable (which, though there's only been two of three to this point, have been such a great aspect of your story), but this part here was especially brilliant. Kudos.

    One day, however, he wanted to face the very thing that had taken his wife and child. Oh, how bad he wanted to face the fire.
    Should be "badly" because wanted is an action verb, not a linking verb. But don't feel bad...I just had to look it up myself upon reading this to be sure, and I have an English Writing degree. Some things are just unnecessarily confusing.

    “The town,” Kuiora finished, “said that he was smoking in bed when he set the house on fire. And then they wondered how the house was set on fire the first time. The end!” she said, bouncing off the bed and scaring me into the corner of the room due to her new larger size and sharper fangs.
    Again with the nice juxtaposition. Kuiora tells a horror story, but she is bouncing around and happy.

    And like the Azalea Town gym, several bug pokémon were everywhere, out in plain sight, as if they knew their home was protected.
    Subtle Celebii reference? Not that I expect to see her in the story, but I still like the little addition.

    Had they perhaps located due to what happened? I thought and thought but it was no use. No one could answer me, as usual.
    *relocated, I think.

    It stopped mid-air and looked at Kuiora, waiting for its next move. But its mistake lied in stopping, as Kuiora simply moved her body in the butterfree’s direction, bringing the water gun attack with her.
    Typo on what should have been "lay". You got it right earlier this very chapter during the fable, so this one must have slipped through the internal filter.

    Halcyon broke free of the water gun, seemingly unscathed, and barely grazed the attack as he flew under the water and straight into Kuiora’s body.
    You missed a preposition there. "From" or "by".

    She smiled again at the end, and said that it was okay. Her voice sounded weak and she couldn’t nod; the stun spore was taking its effect now, and it probably wouldn’t start wearing off until the end of the battle or until she got back to a pokémon center.
    It's nice to see Kuiora maturing so suddenly and being more accepting of the way things are.

    “Good job, Senori. Return,” Sai said, copying Marty, though he didn’t return me to my pokéball. He rarely did.
    ...Sai is so weird. Heh.

    “The croconaw is too young to know better, but her choice is her choice,” Marty said, crossing his arms impatiently.
    I'm curious about Marty...why has he regressed so much? When we first saw him, he didn't seem so immature and needy. I guess we never got a thorough look at him, so we didn't really know him. But...why is this so important to him? I'm guessing we will continue to see more of him throughout the story.

    “Most pokémon don’t know what a real good trainer can be like. The only example they usually have is their first trainer… and by the time they realize what they really need and want in a trainer, they’re too far from home to find their way back. It’s too late, and they feel trapped. But I don’t want pokémon to feel that way!”
    Someone is about to join Team Plasma.



    -So this chapter really felt like rounding a curve. We got a LOT of development out of everybody here. Sai's pokemon are no longer with him because of their varied reasons (Kuiora wanting to be strong, Atis because he wants to change Sai, and Senori because he's too used to doing what others want); they are all together out of love and respect. This was quite a nice character development chapter, yet you managed to add in action, as well. Very commendable. I feel like Sai should/will be getting a 4th team member soon now that everyone in the story is so well-developed. But I wouldn't mind if he didn't. These guys are all fun to read.


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  9. #109
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    I felt like my body was falling away from me, through the floor, and then back into myself, over and over again.
    Awesome way to start out. I'm back on Team Senori after that sentence lol. What he was feeling right there really spoke to me mainy because I've felt that exact same way before. Events unfolding around you that are so intense and foreign that you go in this state of shocked stopping and focus more on what's happening with you instead of the situation in front of you.

    he went to pull his arm back and swing it forward, immediately colliding with Kuiora’s rounded jaw
    I like the sentence a lot, however, I think arm would work better if it was replaced with fist. When I read the sentence I imagined Sai hitting her with his forearm with the wording you were using

    But you seem easy to please,
    If they hadn't been interrupted, I feel like Kuiora would have had something to say about that

    Sai sighed, his face softening quickly. “I know that Atis likes the top bunk on the bed at night. I know that Kuiora likes to tell stories like no other. When we sleep outside I know that Senori likes the area with the most grass. Kuiora loves learning about things outside of herself even if she won’t admit it, and Senori always seems sad for some reason I can’t quite figure out yet. Just because it doesn’t look like I’m listening or watching doesn’t mean I’m oblivious.”
    That surprised me a little bit. As odd and socially awkward as Sai is, I've always thought of him as being observant, but this is the first time I've really seen him show this blend of defense and affection for his Pokemon. I mean, he's shown affection before, but this passage speaks so much deeper than that. Personally, I've always been under the impression that it shows how much you love someone when you pick up on the smallest of habits. Nicely done.

    Crying, yelling, battling all day… Just what had happened, anyway? So many questions were running through my head about her and my trainer, but no answers.
    To me, it's almost as if Senori is feeling left out, which is reasonable seeing how the last chapter had been all about Kuiora, and I thought you did a good job with his mental quest there for an end to the struggles of her evolution and fight with Sai. As he was thinking that, I imagined him shrinking, which I'm sure makes no sense whatsoever lol

    Because yes, I was tired of hearing about her being the strongest. This could have been a more enjoyable substitute.
    Hah, that was really funny. Total Senori thing to say

    Every year, on the anniversary of the day they both died, the widowed man would dance with the air, imagining his wife there instead.
    That was a touching sentence and it really tugged at me. Nicely done

    and it ended up colliding head-on with the bug’s small purple face and torso. Halcyon didn’t cry out or move, just took the brunt of the attack.
    Those two sentences feel like they needed something more to me. The sound the water made when it hit, labored breathing from the Butterfree, or even making mention of the water dripping down Kuiora's mouth as the water was expelled. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to tell you how to write, it just seemed like it needed a little bit more. Another thing I was wondering. Is Kuiora just that fast now that Marty didn't think to yell at his Pokemon to move? As smart as Marty seems to be, I'm surprised he didn't attempt something faster. I know that he ordered an attack right after the attack hit, but the placement felt slightly off to me.

    “Are you scared?” I asked, sort of actually feeling sorry for her.
    Yup, Senori is back to being my favorite.

    I chose to stay.
    Lovely, perfect ending to the chapter. You did a wonderful job explaining how Senori was feeling. The rollercoaster portion was probably my favorite, and it spoke volumes to how he feels about Sai. I almost feel like Senori is starting to grow as a result from his relationship with Sai. The bit at the end where he says that he loves him more than fears him was touching, and that little portion makes me think that Senori is the most developed and important character so far. I knew he was going to stay, but the drama of realizing that he has a choice was nice.

    All in all I really enjoyed this chapter, and along with the First Gym Battle chapter, it's easily my favorite. You fleshed out more of Sai than I thought was possible. Which I'm sure is a task in itself anyway seeing as how he's portrayed from everyone else's perspective instead of his own. At the same time though, it makes it better because of the mystery behind who he is and why he's doing this. You've made him easily one of the most compelling characters of the story and you've done it without even having used his point of view. Nicely done

    An Ancient Treasure, a Terrible Price. Take the Risk, Eat the World
    (Final Chapter added 05-15-2014)

    -Thanks to PopPrincess_Lyra for the amazing banner-


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    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    *facepalm* Duh. How could I have forgotten that?! My Poke-knowledge fails me sometimes, lol. And yes, I would like to see another female Pokemon at some point... but that's your decision, not mine.
    For some reason I'm not comfortable with writing female characters even though I'm female myself, so we'll see. haha.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    Is Sai describing Kuiora there...or himself? Everything he just said could equally be applied to himself. Nice juxtaposition, and a little obliviousness from Sai.
    Indeed, just goes to show that he can be like other people/pokemon even if he is considered to be so different. I'm glad you caught this.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    That's a little weird because he can't be ignoring her and passing her a glance. Maybe instead of "ignoring her, you can say he had to shift his attention from her?
    I meant he was ignoring her words, but I can see how it's confusing, will fix along with the other mistakes you pointed out. Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    You know what I like about this? Despite it being a Senori chapter, it has read much more as a Sai chapter. I feel kind of bad that, thus far, Senori has been reduced to narrative spectator in his own chapter, but it's given us a chance to learn more about Sai, which has been delightful.
    With Senori feeling like he should be watching over anyone anyway, I always feel that it's okay to kind of shift focus from him to all the other characters. Hope that makes sense, haha. I definitely tried to include his thoughts and feelings though too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    It's nice to see Kuiora maturing so suddenly and being more accepting of the way things are.
    Yes, Kuiora can be mature, she just has, uh, you know... anger issues. :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    I'm curious about Marty...why has he regressed so much? When we first saw him, he didn't seem so immature and needy. I guess we never got a thorough look at him, so we didn't really know him. But...why is this so important to him? I'm guessing we will continue to see more of him throughout the story.
    He seems the same to me as the first time he showed up, though this time you get to see his immature side. It'll surely come more into play in the future.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    -So this chapter really felt like rounding a curve. We got a LOT of development out of everybody here. Sai's pokemon are no longer with him because of their varied reasons (Kuiora wanting to be strong, Atis because he wants to change Sai, and Senori because he's too used to doing what others want); they are all together out of love and respect. This was quite a nice character development chapter, yet you managed to add in action, as well. Very commendable. I feel like Sai should/will be getting a 4th team member soon now that everyone in the story is so well-developed. But I wouldn't mind if he didn't. These guys are all fun to read.
    Sai will be getting new members in the next 2 chapters. And glad you felt like it was "rounding a curve" haha, I wanted to end this part and continue with some new characters.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder View Post
    Awesome way to start out. I'm back on Team Senori after that sentence lol. What he was feeling right there really spoke to me mainy because I've felt that exact same way before. Events unfolding around you that are so intense and foreign that you go in this state of shocked stopping and focus more on what's happening with you instead of the situation in front of you.
    Pretty much this. I'm glad you felt it worked since I was a bit unsure about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder View Post
    I like the sentence a lot, however, I think arm would work better if it was replaced with fist. When I read the sentence I imagined Sai hitting her with his forearm with the wording you were using
    Fair enough, will change after this. Thanks for pointing it out.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder View Post
    To me, it's almost as if Senori is feeling left out, which is reasonable seeing how the last chapter had been all about Kuiora, and I thought you did a good job with his mental quest there for an end to the struggles of her evolution and fight with Sai. As he was thinking that, I imagined him shrinking, which I'm sure makes no sense whatsoever lol
    Totally makes sense, LOL. And yeah, Senori feels like he has to watch over everyone but himself so I'm always kind of comfortable with ignoring him in his own chapters... I'm awesome to my characters, obviously.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder View Post
    Those two sentences feel like they needed something more to me. The sound the water made when it hit, labored breathing from the Butterfree, or even making mention of the water dripping down Kuiora's mouth as the water was expelled. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to tell you how to write, it just seemed like it needed a little bit more. Another thing I was wondering. Is Kuiora just that fast now that Marty didn't think to yell at his Pokemon to move? As smart as Marty seems to be, I'm surprised he didn't attempt something faster. I know that he ordered an attack right after the attack hit, but the placement felt slightly off to me.
    Hmmm. You're completely right. I guess I still need more work with writing battles... I kind of tend to avoid them because I know I'm not too good with them. I'll work on it, thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sidewinder View Post
    All in all I really enjoyed this chapter, and along with the First Gym Battle chapter, it's easily my favorite. You fleshed out more of Sai than I thought was possible. Which I'm sure is a task in itself anyway seeing as how he's portrayed from everyone else's perspective instead of his own. At the same time though, it makes it better because of the mystery behind who he is and why he's doing this. You've made him easily one of the most compelling characters of the story and you've done it without even having used his point of view. Nicely done
    Thanks for reading/reviewing as always! I'm glad people are liking Sai even though he's so weird.

    | survival project |
    | this trainer is different. everyone knows it, but no one can explain it. |
    | complete |


    | flying in the dark |
    | he's hiding something. she just doesn't know it. |
    | on hiatus|


    | love and other nightmares |
    | limited time, limited abilities. kyurem says she can be cured in exchange for saving those who need saving. |
    | chapter 3 released 11/22/14 |


  11. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876
    Hmmm. You're completely right. I guess I still need more work with writing battles... I kind of tend to avoid them because I know I'm not too good with them. I'll work on it, thanks!
    On the contrary, you're actually very good on certain aspects of them. You're very talented on writing the feelings and thought processes associated with each Pokemon during the battle, and very good at battle strategy and coming up with the attacks involved without it feeling scripted at all. The only thing I think would make your battles better would be more imagery. Concious thoughts and feelings are spot on, but when I read your battles I have trobule visualising them occasionally. You spend so much time on the feelings that sometimes the descriptions of the attacks and their effects on other Pokemon and the enviroment. You write terrific battles, I just think you should amp up the description a little more sometimes

    An Ancient Treasure, a Terrible Price. Take the Risk, Eat the World
    (Final Chapter added 05-15-2014)

    -Thanks to PopPrincess_Lyra for the amazing banner-


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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post

    SURVIVAL PROJECT

    chapter 9 ; [SENORI]
    suspended

    *
    "Suspended," huh? Now that raises some possibilities...

    When I was watching Kuiora punch Sai over and over again, when I was watching her evolve… I felt like my body was falling away from me, through the floor, and then back into myself, over and over again. When my body was falling, it was as if I was dreaming of what my life could be, but wasn’t. And when my body righted itself again, I was reminded that this was real, and that I simply didn’t know what to do about it. The sudden violence wasn’t entirely unexpected. She had been getting more and more desperate, and I had told her about Sai fighting me, thinking nothing of it at the time…I had told her that Sai fought me because it was what fate had brought upon me, upon us, not so that she could use the idea herself. Nevertheless, here she was, freezing me and everyone else in the pokémon center, leaving us to wonder only why she was doing this, why she evolved at this moment of shame, and most of all, why Sai felt compelled to punch her back.
    This paragraph alone just... terrified me. I don't even know why. Just the utter hopelessness of the whole thing, it gets me.

    I snapped back to reality as I suddenly tumbled out of Sai’s arms. Though he was still on his knees, he went to pull his arm back and swing it forward, immediately colliding with Kuiora’s rounded jaw. Had she still been a totodile, she may have staggered backward. With her new and larger form, she hardly moved an inch. And just as suddenly, she stopped attacking him. She merely smirked and looked around occasionally, mostly focusing on looking down at the stricken Sai in front of her.

    “Kuiora,” he said simply, using his other hand to cover the fist that he had hurt her with, “I didn’t want to hit you.”

    “But you did,” she said, smiling now, a different smile from the expectant smirk that was present just moments ago.

    “I know, and I’m sorry,” Sai said, standing up now. He moved slowly, carefully, as if he would break or as if Kuiora would attack him again at any moment.
    I feel like this reinforces the wildly inconsistent behavior we've seen from Sai before.

    “I’m strong, and I wanted you to know it. You’re not allowed to say sorry!” she replied. She crossed her arms, but made no sign of future violence.

    “But I always knew that,” Sai said, chuckling slightly. I vaguely wondered if he was telling the truth, but decided that I’d never speak about it.

    “Then why didn’t you use me?”

    “Everyone on the team has to fight. If I only focused on you, all the others would get left behind.”

    “Who cares about the others? I’m special, aren’t I?”
    Now I'm disturbed even further by Kuiora's behavior. I'm really seeing some glaring signs of possessiveness bordering on outright obsession and delusion in her pursuit of Sai's approval.

    “Of course you are… I chose you for a reason.”

    “You chose me because I was the strongest, of course!”

    “Yes, yes I did. But you have quite the temper, don’t you? But you seem easy to please, so let’s make sure this never happens again…” Sai said seriously, looking down on her now, scolding her like the child she was.

    Suddenly, a new voice cut in. “You can’t expect to get away with another situation like this, can you?”

    I looked around once more. Up until this point, some people were still watching, whispering amongst each other, probably wondering if they should do anything about the situation and wondering about why Sai was able to understand his pokémon while they couldn’t. Others had scattered and moved on, either changed or unmoved by the incident. Only one person decided to stand up to Sai, and I immediately recognized him from the cave and from the pictures in Sasha’s house. This boy had the same blonde hair and the same serious look on his face and the same determined eyes; it was just a different day with him wearing different clothes. The boy walked up to Sai, cutting off his view from Kuiora.

    “First the cave incident, and now your pokémon is attacking you. I wonder why. You obviously don’t give your pokémon the attention they need and deserve,” he said, looking Sai straight in the eye.
    Oh, not this kid again. He really picked a bad time for this.

    “I didn’t know it would go that far,” Sai said, just as serious now and having to shift his attention from Kuiora once more. He did pass her a glance, however, as he added, “I didn’t know what she wanted. She’s never told or asked me directly until now.”

    “You should figure it out! You even have the advantage of being able to talk to your pokémon.”
    I can't help but wonder if this is a subtle hint toward Sai's backstory.

    I stared at the boy. What was his name, anyway? Did he really have to be here at the same time as us? Was there anything I could do about it? He couldn’t understand me… but he had saved me nonetheless. I was torn between wanting to spare this other boy from the grief and from trying to keep Sai on track, his emotions being my main motivation for remaining stable and calm.

    Sai glared at the other boy and said, “Are you really going to be angry over me being able to talk to my pokémon while you can’t?”

    “That’s not what this is about,” the boy said, breaking eye contact for just a moment. “I bet you don’t know a damn thing about your pokémon, especially not the sentret you almost got killed.”
    Over the line, dude. Though I doubt this kid cares.

    Sai sighed, his face softening quickly. “I know that Atis likes the top bunk on the bed at night. I know that Kuiora likes to tell stories like no other. When we sleep outside I know that Senori likes the area with the most grass. Kuiora loves learning about things outside of herself even if she won’t admit it, and Senori always seems sad for some reason I can’t quite figure out yet. Just because it doesn’t look like I’m listening or watching doesn’t mean I’m oblivious.”

    When Sai said that, I completely forgot about my trying to decide which trainer to stick up for. Did Sai really pay that much attention to us, enough attention to know about the little things? Did I really even like the area with the most grass? I didn’t even notice, and it certainly never seemed like he paid attention to anything but whatever crazy ramblings went on inside his head. I decided to stay silent for Sai, and watch him deal with this situation by himself.
    Color me surprised just like Senori. I guess it's just hard to imagine at times that Sai cares this much about his Pokemon, that he would know these things?

    There was a moment of silence. The boy looked around, glaring at the people who were still watching. “Doesn’t matter if you listen or watch if your pokémon don’t feel like you do,” he finally said, not looking at Sai anymore.

    But it does matter, I wanted to say. It says a lot about Sai. I turned to Kuiora to see what she was thinking during all of this. She was simply standing next to Sai, eyes crossed and looking just as defiant as her trainer. She didn’t look angry anymore, and it was smart of her, I decided, to not say anything, knowing that the trainer couldn’t understand her either way. She had probably exhausted her voice for the day, anyway. Crying, yelling, battling all day… Just what had happened, anyway? So many questions were running through my head about her and my trainer, but no answers.

    “If you’re not going to listen to anything I say, then we’re done here,” Sai stated, turning away from the boy. He walked up to the counter and said, “Nurse Joy, I deeply apologize for the incident here today. It won’t happen again. I would appreciate it if you healed my Kuiora now…”
    I have to applaud Sai's maturity here.

    “O-Of course,” the nurse said. “May I ask that your croconaw be put into her pokéball first?”

    Sai’s expression hardened again, but he looked too tired to care. He returned Kuiora to her pokéball and handed it over.

    But the boy wasn’t about to give up. He came up to the counter as well and said, “Have you not learned your lesson? I’m surprised Nurse Joy isn’t reporting you. If I see one more incident I will report you, though I don’t want to let it get to that.”

    Sai turned to the boy, glaring once more. “And just what do you mean by that?”

    “Fight me. Battle me so they can see what kind of trainer I am, and let them decide if they want to stay with you or not.”
    Okay, I'm sorry but this one feels a little forced. I know battling is the solution to most everything in this universe, but this time it just seemed to come out of nowhere.

    Decide to stay with Sai or not? It almost seemed like every pokémon’s dream—every pokémon who had a bad trainer, anyway. The choice to leave. This had to be happening for a reason, or else it wouldn’t be happening at all… Without the entire situation played out, however, it was hard to judge what I would have done, should have done… and what I wanted to do.

    “What’s your name, anyway, kid?”

    “My name? My name is Marty.”

    “Well, Marty, I’m not worried at all. You’re on, but I’m waiting for Kuiora,” Sai said, and that was the end of the scuffle in the pokémon center, but not the questions inside my head. Fate may have been trying to tell me something, maybe leaving Sai was really an option… Who could ever know?
    This is an interesting philosophical debate you're taking on. I appreciate that you're tackling it.

    The battle took place two days later. Kuiora was anxious to get started right away, of course, but Sai insisted that she wait for her injuries to be healed. It took a lot of courage, I observed, to be able to deny her after what just happened, but she seemed to realize that it was for the best—probably because Sai, at least, wasn’t ignoring her.
    I feel like skipping two days ahead feels a little sudden.

    “Anything goes, as long as it’s not about you being the strongest.”

    “Meanie,” Kuiora said, crossing her arms. “There are no legends about me yet, anyway, but there will be someday.”
    Cute, I laughed.

    “I’ll bet.”

    “Do you want me to tell a story or not?” she pouted.

    “Go for it,” I said, smirking. It was always fun, picking on her… and that was why I never learned to expect anything serious from her. Her outburst was unexpected, and then soon I came to realize that her serious stories were unexpected.

    She told a story of an old man who burned because he was mourning for his lost wife and child. She had died in a house fire while trying to save their three-year-old son. She had sacrificed everything and still failed, according to the entire town. In the man’s mind, however, she had succeeded. Until a child is old enough to take care of himself, he thought, the mother should always follow and keep watch.

    “It simply would have been a sin to the gods had she done anything else but die saving him,” she explained. Atis lay on the top bunk, as usual, saying nothing, perhaps not even listening, just thinking. I lay on the floor, curling my tail around my body, occasionally looking up to watch Sai’s reaction carefully. Yes, he was listening, and he was listening well. The croconaw went on.

    Every year, on the anniversary of the day they both died, the widowed man would dance with the air, imagining his wife there instead. Every year, he read a story to himself, imagining that it was his son he was telling it to. Other than this, the town never saw him change his ways; they said he only changed his tires and his dreams.

    One day, however, he wanted to face the very thing that had taken his wife and child. Oh, how badly he wanted to face the fire. He lit a candle and mourned for them. He mourned and mourned, planning to burn it and never see it again when he was done—until he heard a cackling sound, an eerie laugh. He opened his eyes, saw that the candle was gone. The candle had really been a rare pokémon shaped like a candle, its purplish glow said to steal the energy of humans and pokémon alike just to be able to burn some more. The man had no energy to stop the fire, or to even notice it was happening. He died in pain, but without even realizing he was in pain.

    “The town,” Kuiora finished, “said that he was smoking in bed when he set the house on fire. And then they wondered how the house was set on fire the first time. The end!” she said, bouncing off the bed and scaring me into the corner of the room due to her new larger size and sharper fangs.

    The battle took place two days later, after it finally hit me that Kuiora wasn’t just a kid—she was the same as all of us: she came with flaws and things that made her great, both of which she was afraid of showing.
    That was a really great story, and the last line provides excellent closure to the scene. Just excellent work from beginning to end on this one.

    Of course, Kuiora was also feeling much, much better. She was practically dancing over to our designated battlefield: Ilex Forest.

    And of course, the battlefield reminded me of home. The forest smell and appearance was much different from home. The trees were much, much taller, and it made the place darker than the one I remembered and thought of often. And like the Azalea Town gym, several bug pokémon were everywhere, out in plain sight, as if they knew their home was protected. I wished that my clan still felt the same—I at least had the comfort of knowing that they felt safe at some point. How was Ari doing, anyway? What about the rest of the clan? Had they perhaps relocated due to what happened? I thought and thought but it was no use. No one could answer me, as usual. So I tried to focus on the issue at hand: Marty’s crazy ambition and obsession with Sai’s training abilities. We were going to be fighting in a clearing, just as Sai had attacked me in a clearing when we had first met so long ago.
    I like that you still have Senori remembering his roots and that you're pointing out similarities to the forest and Senori's old home. This gives the story a feeling of continuity that increases how enjoyable it is.

    Marty stood on one side of the clearing while Sai and the rest of us stood on the other side. Atis stood by my side, while Kuiora was already out in front of our trainer, knowing that she would be chosen to battle. I didn’t offer any protest this time, for I knew that this would happen as well. After her outrage, it was simply meant to be.

    The other boy took no time in choosing which pokémon to send out. He sent out a pokémon he called Halcyon, a name true to the bug’s nature. The purple and white bug flew around with joy, fluttering its wings as fast as it could to pick up speed and show off.

    “A butterfree, huh?” Sai said. He sounded tired, and I expected him to say something cocky like saying his croconaw was better or that he would win fast. But his feelings of invincibility seemed to have disappeared over the last few days. “Kuiora, use water gun!”
    Oh boy, his mood is flagging again. This might not be a good thing.

    Kuiora stood up as tall as she could, just as she had when she confronted Sai. We could all tell how proud she was as she inhaled sharply and exhaled a long, steady stream of water toward the butterfree, the first official enemy of hers. Halcyon, with its wings still flapping quickly, easily moved out of the way. It stopped mid-air and looked at Kuiora, waiting for its next move. But its mistake lay in stopping, as Kuiora simply moved her body in the butterfree’s direction, bringing the water gun attack with her. The steady stream of natural liquid never stopped, just relocated—and it ended up colliding head-on with the bug’s small purple face and torso. Halcyon didn’t cry out or move, just took the brunt of the attack.

    “Halcyon won’t lose to you, he won’t! Fly under it and use tackle!” Marty cried, smiling and not appearing too worried about his pokémon’s condition just yet.

    Halcyon reacted instantly, as if he had known what kind of counterattack his trainer would think of. Halcyon broke free of the water gun, seemingly unscathed, and barely grazed by the attack as he flew under the water and straight into Kuiora’s body. Finally, the water stopped, and Kuiora staggered backward.

    “I didn’t have time to move my attack. You got lucky,” Kuiora said. I almost chuckled at her, since her excuses were always amusing and childish to me. It reminded me of the old her—but was there really ever an old her?
    This was going very well until the last line, "It reminded me of the old her - but was there really ever an old her?" It wasn't a bad line, in fact, it was great - it just hit me with a spike of unexpected emotion.

    Once the croconaw realized the situation as well, she immediately started propelling herself forward, past the yellow substance that was paralyzing her. I could tell that she was trying to run, but it looked more and more like jogging. Still, the butterfree remained suspended and focused on its attack as she got closer and closer, and when she was finally close enough, she jumped as high as she could and grabbed the butterfree with her clawed hands. Halcyon’s wings could no longer help him, and the stun spore attack ceased as he tried to free himself in vain. Kuiora had a firm grasp on him, despite the attack—it simply hadn’t had enough time to sink in and get to her completely yet.

    Kuiora pulled down Halcyon and kept him in place with one hand. Instead of biting, Kuiora pulled back her other hand and thrust it forward, knocking the butterfree right out of her hands and into the bushes at the edge of the clearing. Kuiora, though she did not appear as tall and proud, stood there as tall as she could, tired and restrained from her battle. She was still smiling, though, which was a good sign. Marty ran over to the bushes to check on Halcyon, but came back with nothing.
    I notice that you shifted from referring to Halcyon as "it" to "he." Was there a reason for that?

    Bravo for Kuiora's victory, too. I hope this helps her out.

    “Are you scared?” I asked, sort of actually feeling sorry for her.

    “I get scared easily…” Gracie said, her voice trailing off, “but I can still fight!”

    After she finished her sentence, she removed her paws from her face and ran toward me this time, so quick that she was leaving afterimages behind her every time she moved. Every cyndaquil I saw looked the same, and I couldn’t tell who was real and who wasn’t. I turned my body to the left and right, trying to find a good time to escape, but each time I turned, Gracie or her afterimages followed and I second guessed myself. This time, she smacked into me, sending me careening into the bushes this time instead of Halcyon.
    I kind of like Gracie. Hopefully we get to see more of her.

    “Gracie, it’s okay, I know you’re not much of a battler. Return!” Marty said, and she disappeared as a mere flash of red, maybe looking at me with those closed eyes with desperation. How could I tell, anyway?

    “Good job, Senori. Return,” Sai said, copying Marty, though he didn’t return me to my pokéball. He rarely did.

    “Well? I may have lost, but it wasn’t about winning or losing, just seeing trainer styles and appealing to our pokémon in the best way possible. Let them choose, and let them remember how you almost let Senori get killed and how you let Kuiora get so out of hand!” Marty cried, frowning and glaring at Sai. But Sai ignored him and turned to us instead.
    But seeing Gracie might not be worth dealing with Marty. I really dislike him.

    “You did well, Kuiora, Senori. And Atis would have done well too. I’m sorry that Marty feels compelled to do this… and I’m sorry that I’m inclined to agree with him on some points. Maybe, someday…” he said, stopping to smile softly. “Maybe someday I can love you as much as I was meant to.”

    “I’d like to stay now that I can battle!” Kuiora said immediately, hugging and squeezing Sai’s leg closely to her. Sai smiled and rubbed her side, the one that had been damaged by Atis.

    “The croconaw is too young to know better, but her choice is her choice,” Marty said, crossing his arms impatiently.
    Marty, please go away. Sai's really trying here but Marty is ruining it.

    “Why are you so set on trying to get rid of me as a trainer?” Sai asked, looking up at the other boy.

    “I should just report you and have your pokémon forcibly taken from you,” Marty retorted.

    “That doesn’t answer my question,” Sai said, still calm and tired.

    “Most pokémon don’t know what a real good trainer can be like. The only example they usually have is their first trainer… and by the time they realize what they really need and want in a trainer, they’re too far from home to find their way back. It’s too late, and they feel trapped. But I don’t want pokémon to feel that way!”

    “I wouldn’t want them to, either,” Sai said sympathetically.

    “You don’t act like it!” Marty cried, frustrated.

    “I told you before… You don’t know me. I try my best.”

    “Then let them choose. I let Gracie and Halcyon choose, and I’ll let Gracie choose again someday.”
    It's not up to you...

    “I never said I wouldn’t,” Sai said. He kneeled down once more, looked at all of us—but not expectedly. Perhaps he truly didn’t know what to expect. It made me wonder why he had accepted this battle in the first place. He did care, he cared, he did, I had to believe it. “Senori? Atis? No one should feel trapped or feel like they have to stay, Marty is right.”

    There was a long silence before anyone said anything else. There were a lot of factors I had to consider. I could start over here. I could build a new clan… not of sentret, but of bugs and whatever else was in this forest. I could try to find my way back—though, like Marty said, it seemed impossible and tough and risky. I could leave Sai’s world of unpredictability and go back to a life of routine and serenity…

    “I’d like to have time to think about it…” Atis mumbled eventually, finally, though something told me he would end up staying. Where else would he go? Maybe he’d stay until he found another purpose in his life, one that Sai couldn’t contribute to anymore.
    I notice Atis really didn't say much at all in this chapter.

    And me? I wondered. It was my turn. Yes, again, I could start over here. But didn’t I say I wouldn’t let Sai’s emotions get to me? And I had been doing well so far. I acted indifferent when he was going back and forth between being angry at me for losing the way I do and sad at himself for slowing him down, which he was still doing. Surely he’d be sad again soon—he was slowing down, and actually sleeping again, and he was no longer invincible… Yes, he was a rollercoaster. He always would be. And I feared his emotions deep down, even if I ignored them—I never knew what he was capable of, never knew what would happen next, never knew what kind of day I would have when I woke up. Still, he gave me a purpose, and he came at the right time in my life. He did seem to care, though there was something that was preventing him from showing it. Maybe, someday, like he said, he could show me, show all of us, and we could be happy…

    In the end… I knew I loved him more than I feared him.

    I chose to stay.
    Good. Senori showed good reasoning here.

    This chapter wasn't bad, but a lot of it was overshadowed by the presence of Marty. There was a lot of important bonding between Sai and Kuiora/Senori but using Marty as a catalyst was something I really don't know if I like. I get that he's supposed to be an antagonistic character, but I think he could use some more development and fleshing out so he isn't so unlikeable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    Okay, I'm sorry but this one feels a little forced. I know battling is the solution to most everything in this universe, but this time it just seemed to come out of nowhere.
    Does it feel forced even after Marty explains why he demanded a battle and the reasoning behind his actions?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    I notice that you shifted from referring to Halcyon as "it" to "he." Was there a reason for that?
    Since it's from first person POV Senori didn't know it was a he until Marty referred to Halcyon as a he.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    But seeing Gracie might not be worth dealing with Marty. I really dislike him.
    He's meant to be unlikable, though do you have any suggestions as to how I could portray him as unlikable, though not unbearable? 0.0


    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    I notice Atis really didn't say much at all in this chapter.
    You're the only one who noticed, and I'm glad you did. His only real line here will be important later.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    This chapter wasn't bad, but a lot of it was overshadowed by the presence of Marty. There was a lot of important bonding between Sai and Kuiora/Senori but using Marty as a catalyst was something I really don't know if I like. I get that he's supposed to be an antagonistic character, but I think he could use some more development and fleshing out so he isn't so unlikeable.
    Oh, okay. Well hopefully further development on Marty will make him more bearable and also make you enjoy the fic more. Thanks for reading/reviewing as always, I enjoy reading your thoughts as you read the fic.

    | survival project |
    | this trainer is different. everyone knows it, but no one can explain it. |
    | complete |


    | flying in the dark |
    | he's hiding something. she just doesn't know it. |
    | on hiatus|


    | love and other nightmares |
    | limited time, limited abilities. kyurem says she can be cured in exchange for saving those who need saving. |
    | chapter 3 released 11/22/14 |


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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    Does it feel forced even after Marty explains why he demanded a battle and the reasoning behind his actions?
    To a degree. It's more the sudden "challenge me to a battle!" thing coming out of nowhere that bothered me.

    Since it's from first person POV Senori didn't know it was a he until Marty referred to Halcyon as a he.
    Ah, that makes sense.

    He's meant to be unlikable, though do you have any suggestions as to how I could portray him as unlikable, though not unbearable? 0.0
    I guess character development is the most important thing. It can get me to like him.

    Oh, okay. Well hopefully further development on Marty will make him more bearable and also make you enjoy the fic more. Thanks for reading/reviewing as always, I enjoy reading your thoughts as you read the fic.
    You're welcome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    I guess character development is the most important thing. It can get me to like him.
    I'll work on it then!

    Anyway, the next chapter is coming along pretty slowly. I've been extremely busy and am unsure when it'll be out, but hopefully in the next couple weeks. Just wanted to give a small update.

    | survival project |
    | this trainer is different. everyone knows it, but no one can explain it. |
    | complete |


    | flying in the dark |
    | he's hiding something. she just doesn't know it. |
    | on hiatus|


    | love and other nightmares |
    | limited time, limited abilities. kyurem says she can be cured in exchange for saving those who need saving. |
    | chapter 3 released 11/22/14 |


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    Well, I'm sorry for the extremely long wait. What else can I say? Real life has been kicking my ***. I guess if anyone cares, they can ask for details, but I'm mainly here to release the next chapter. It's an introductory chapter for a new pokemon, so it's shorter than the others, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless.


    SURVIVAL PROJECT

    chapter 10 ; [EZREM]
    grounded

    *

    There was a team of pokémon who had a trainer, once. She gave us all annoying names. There was Kephi the venipede, Obieme the tepig, Virokoe the purrloin, and when we went to Sinnoh and then to Johto, we got Rennio the elekid. Despite the weird names, they loved her so. I did not love her, but I tolerated her—just because she was the type of person that made you enjoy your name just because of the way she said it. And we all liked her enough to the point where we all agreed never to evolve simply because she wanted a team of non-evolved pokémon. We loved her—liked her, in my case—because she was easygoing, nice, compromising… and therefore she was also easy to manipulate.

    After receiving six badges in Unova and six badges in Sinnoh, she had wanted to go to Hoenn. She never wanted our journey to be over, so she never completed any gym circuit, and she wanted to see the waters and the unique cities there, she said. I told her that I was a rufflet that came from Johto, and I wanted to see home once more. Somehow she believed me; she trusted me wholeheartedly. In reality, I had heard of a legendary pokémon that could travel through time. I wanted to travel through the future so that my journey with her could finally be over, and I could permanently find a place I could call home. She had taken me when I was young, and moving around did not satisfy me in the slightest.

    Because I pretended to love her and because she truly loved us, she sacrificed her dream of going to Hoenn for me. We took a boat to get to Johto, just so that she could travel the sea as if she were really going to her dream region. She never talked about it, but we all knew she was thinking of it.

    When we got to the Johto region, she of course started the gym circuit over. I had agreed to let her do this, since I told her my home was in Azalea Town—only two badges in, it wouldn’t take long, I could at least give her that. When we finally reached the town and Ilex Forest, however, I wished that it had been the last gym.

    I didn’t intend to do it. People in the town said that Celebi, the forest’s protector, only came out in the face of danger. Well, then, I thought, I would have to create my own danger so that I may talk to this forest guardian! I asked the tepig named Obieme to start a fire for me and then come help me find food. But our trainer and the other pokémon aren’t here to watch the fire, he said! She was out getting wood. I said it was fine, we needed to mark a meeting place anyway, and that was what our trainer had told me to do. She hadn’t. But of course the tepig with the silly name listened to me and started the fire and left with me. And of course the fire spread because no one was near it for a very long time and the winds were strong that day.

    If the forest guardian ever came, I never knew. All I knew was that my trainer must have gotten trapped somewhere along with the rest of the pokémon. Rennio escaped because he had gotten lost and got help at the next town, and though Obieme was with me, I hadn’t seen him since. They were all dead, I knew, and it was my fault. The forest guardian was meant to help me but spited me instead.

    My name is Ezrem. I got that name from my trainer, once. She told me that the name sounded like it could be a type of jewel, an item to be cherished because it seemed so delicate yet, beneath its pretty exterior, was unyielding and sharp. She was certainly right, but I never got the chance to tell her so. I could not change my ways and she died for it.

    My name is Ezrem, and I don’t need pity to suffer from or feel guilty for my actions. This is just the surface of my story, but details are not needed here…

    *

    My trainer said Johto was meant to be a new place, a new home, a new adventure. Again, she was certainly right. There was the incident, and then after, I had been watching over Rennio. Being the only survivor besides myself, he was shaken by the incident and at a complete loss as to what to do next. His situation was especially dire in his mind because I had once told him that there weren’t many elekid in the Unova or Sinnoh region—they were going extinct! And since then he had been panicking over battles and making sure that he was kept safe at all costs.

    “Now that we’re the only ones, I vow to protect you!” I said to him shortly after the incident, trying to quickly atone for what I had done. It was the least I could do, and maybe he could help me find a home here in Johto, since, according to the spiteful forest guardian, going back to Unova was out of the question due to the evil stunt I had pulled. I could only hope that we wouldn’t find an elekid in Johto, which was believed to be their main region. If that ever happened, what would I do? I had not a clue.

    I had not a clue about much of anything. We were, of course, still in Ilex Forest when we met Sai, three months after the incident. When Rennio was away, I liked to stand near the entrance of the forest and watch for potential trainers to manipulate into taking me home or finding me a home. So when I saw those trainers Marty and Sai, when I saw that Sai had little training experience and was copying Marty just to make himself look smart, I decided to butt in. The sentret was thrown back into the bushes, and I found my chance. I introduced myself in the best way possible—with advice! That would surely make them interested in me and think of me as a good pokémon, one who liked to help others…

    Seeing the two of them fight afterward only confirmed my decision. Marty had been a contender but had failed. He was too angry, stuck in his own ways… He just wasn’t for me. On the other hand, Sai’s pokémon stayed loyal to him, and they must have been doing so for a good reason, whatever reason it was. I needed loyalty, for Sai not to betray me. His apparent lack of knowledge appealed to me as well.

    I continued watching them, keeping Rennio in my mind. He was out getting food and knew exactly where to find me, just as I knew where exactly to find him. I could have gone to help him, but I was waiting for my chance to step in, here…

    “You know my sister?” the boy named Marty cried. He stood in the clearing, fists clenched and his feet spread apart. I couldn’t see his face, as his back was to me, but I could assume that he didn’t look too pleased.

    “I met her and saw your house,” Sai said, remaining calm. He was standing now, when before he had been kneeling down next to his pokémon. A hitmontop stood behind him, and the other two, a sentret and a croconaw, stood in front.

    “Did she say anything about me?” Marty said, his tone softer, his body still betraying him.

    “She said you were a good trainer.”

    Now, Marty’s pose started to change. His stood up straight, his fists unclenched. His voice was growing softer as he said, “She did?”

    “Yeah, she did. I bet she’d want to be as strong as you if she were a trainer.”

    “She is a trainer. She wants to leave Azalea Town soon, too,” he said quietly. Then, he tried to flame up again, though I could tell it was fake as he said, “Don’t think that she’d want to travel with us or anything! Or that I would want to. I’m out of here now.”

    I knew his voice was fake because his body betrayed him when he didn’t stomp off or anything, just walked like a normal person you would pass by on the road. And with that, he was out of my sight. It looked like he had gone back to Azalea Town despite saying he wanted to leave. Nevertheless, I kept a note in my head—if Marty ever showed up again, he had a weakness: his sister, and maybe just the idea of being a trainer.

    This was when I decided to step out. If I waited any longer, Rennio would come back to interrupt me, or Sai would leave, and I’d lose him! It couldn’t happen. He was the one and I knew it, had to believe it. With my two stubby feet I made my way through the bushes, ignoring the giant leaves that tried to block my view of the boy. The rustling noise caught his attention, and before I even revealed myself completely, he was looking at me.

    “I just saw you!” the sentret cried, darting out even further in front of Sai, as if I was an enemy.

    “Yes, yes, you did! And I helped you, and you won,” I said, grinning like I was clearly an idiot.

    The sentret looked confused for a moment, letting his guard down. He said, “Yes, we did win... You weren’t talking like that before, though.”

    “No? I talk this way, all the time, believe me!” I said, jumping up and down, fluttering my wings ever so slightly. Ever so slightly, yes, but it would change soon enough! This was the beginning of my long flight home, wherever that was.

    I looked up at Sai, expecting him to notice me and want to take me in immediately like most other trainers had. Trainers must not see rufflet in Johto very often, and it shows by their excitement, their desperation and the use of all their pokéballs, despite the fact that I can never be formally caught. My old pokéball was out there somewhere, but if Sai was the one, he would be okay with that…

    But Sai didn’t do anything. He looked down at me, staring rather blankly. I thought maybe he didn’t know how rare rufflet were around these parts, and that once he knew, his mind would change easily. So I started gesturing toward Sai as clearly as I could. Speaking would be useless, as he couldn’t understand me. I flew over to him, landed by his side and used my wing to point toward his backpack, where I assumed his pokéballs were. Immediately he bent down and opened it for me, allowing me to retrieve whatever it was I wanted. In any other situation that would have been a bad idea, but alas! This time I only took out a pokéball, empty or not, didn’t matter. After I dropped it to the ground, I started jumping up and down, up and down to show my excitement. But still, Sai’s facial expression was blink, his body limp.

    I stopped jumping up and down. Frowning, I turned to the sentret and said, “Tell your trainer I want to join his team.”

    “He can understand you,” the sentret replied automatically, emotionlessly.

    “He can?” I asked just as automatically.

    “Yeah… He’s an interesting human, to say the least.”

    I turned back toward Sai, looking straight into his eyes and trying to keep a blank facial expression myself. I wasn’t afraid of him! I wasn’t afraid of a trainer who could somehow talk to pokémon, and I had to show it. Yes, it only confirmed my suspicions of Sai being the one. He was special, all right. I could tell him everything straight to his face someday and he’d understand.

    “I want to join your team!” I cried, jumping up and down again. “I can’t be caught in a pokéball, but I will remain loyal! I will never stray from your side if you take me with you. I have experience, I’m smart, ask your sentret there…”

    “No,” Sai interrupted. My beak hung open for a moment, confused as to what I had just heard. Had Sai really just rejected me out front?

    Just as I was about to try to change his mind, I heard a crackling sound and a distinct humming noise. It was loud enough to attract the attention of everyone nearby. They were alarmed while I was not. But what bad timing, I thought! It was Rennio, and I knew it. That was what happened when you were stuck with him for so long and watched his every move…

    Out of the bushes jumped Rennio, screaming “Rennio has come back to the world!”

    The little yellow and black elekid stood there with an armful of red berries, looking around, presumably for me. Once he spotted me, he obviously noted how friendly I was with these pokémon and this trainer already, so he steadily made his way over to us. It would be hard for him to see my inevitable disgrace and disappointment, but such was life, I supposed. I couldn’t have predicted, however, what happened next.

    “Atis, get that pokémon!” Sai cried suddenly, his arm extended and pointing directly at Rennio. The hitmontop from behind peeked out around Sai as if he were peering around the side of a building, watching for danger. He saw Rennio and had a dreadful look on his face, but nevertheless launched forward and onto the spinner on the top of his head. He started spinning wildly, preparing to kick the poor elekid out of the way…

    This all happened too fast for me to react right away. Once I figured out the situation, however, I remembered—I had to protect Rennio at all costs, even from Sai, my future trainer. Blowing the pokéball away in the process, I flapped my wings as aggressively as I could to make it to Rennio in time. I knocked him out of the way, figuring it was safer than attacking the dangerous hitmontop (Atis, was it?) head on.

    All the red berries flew out of Rennio’s arm as he crashed to the ground beside him with a thud. The hitmontop tried to slow down and control his movement but he only succeeded in wobbling to and fro and then colliding with the same bushes that I had been watching from. He stood up a few moments later, looking for his target, but appeared dizzy. Atis was a hitmontop who wasn’t too used to spinning on its own head, apparently.

    “No attacking Rennio!” I cried, admittedly unsure if I should be talking to Atis or Sai. Atis seemed like he’d listen immediately despite me not being his trainer, so I turned to Sai in the end. “He’s my friend. He would also like to join your team with me.”

    “What?” Rennio asked, looking up at me. I realized that I was still standing on top of his body, so before I got electrocuted, I swiftly jumped off of him, realizing at the same time that he had no idea what the situation was at the moment. I would have to fill him in later. For now, I tried to motion for him to follow along with me.

    “We would both like to join your team,” I repeated, more calmly and more determined this time. I started walking up to Sai, motioning again for Rennio to follow me. I knew he’d listen to me, as he trusted my judgment despite everything… And he did follow, leaving his berries behind.

    Sai frowned, simply staring once more. This time, he was staring at Rennio. There wasn’t much else I could say. How much more straightforward could I be? We both wanted to be his pokémon. He looked like he needed a rare pokémon and an electric-type, anyway, right? But I was wrong.

    I got my hopes up a lot when he started digging around in his pocket for something. At first I assumed it was a pokéball, but then thought that pokéballs were too big to fit in a human’s pocket, even when minimized. My hopes dropped away once he pulled out a black and white die, and then another one. They stared at me mockingly, just as Sai had been doing not too long ago. I started seeing what was going on when Sai handed Rennio the dice as well. Sai clearly preferred Rennio over me, though I could not tell why.

    “Roll it,” said Sai.

    Rennio peered over at me, and I nodded. So Rennio rolled it, or something like that. Like the berries, he dropped them on the ground as if I had just rammed him in the stomach once more. He probably wasn’t ready for another trainer’s attention, the poor guy, but it had to be done, I thought.

    Both of the dice landed on the ground with a thud. One of them had a single black dot on it, while the other had three. I looked up to Sai, both eager and wary of seeing his reaction. His reaction was gleeful, overjoyed, and I felt empty.

    “You’re my fourth pokémon!” Sai cried, diving down onto his knees and leaning in to apparently hug the poor electric-type. Rennio was embraced ever so lovingly, and he looked over to me, puzzled and utterly defeated. His facial expression was the equivalent of asking me whether or not he should electrocute this boy and make a run for it, but I was too stunned to move.

    “Are you going to give him a name?” chimed in the croconaw, who had just been watching during this entire ordeal.

    Sai paused, then carefully answered, “No. The elekid doesn’t have a name.”

    “My name is Rennio, given by my other—”

    “You don’t have a name,” Sai interrupted, releasing his hold on the pokémon.

    “I don’t?” he said quietly, looking heartbroken, as if he would really have to give up his old name.

    “No, you don’t.”

    “So I’m really your pokémon?”

    “Yes, you are.”

    “Are you sure? What about my friend, Ezrem?” he asked, pointing to me.

    “Ezrem is not my pokémon, but you are.”

    Rennio frowned, but he wasn’t the type to deny others. He also wasn’t the type to doubt me, so he must have known I had something up my sleeve. Instead of turning away from Sai, he said, “Can I at least say good-bye to him first?”

    “Go right ahead, but… Kuiora, go over there and make sure he doesn’t run off on us, okay?” Sai asked, petting the rather menacing looking water-type and directing her over to us.

    As if she was reading my mind, the first thing that she said when the two of them made it over to the other side of the clearing was: “My trainer is very picky about what pokémon is on his team. This elekid is very lucky.”

    “Lucky, huh?” I said under my breath. Yes, it confirmed that Sai was a good trainer. But what good did that do for me if I couldn’t be with him? Although I was jealous of Rennio, I tried to be happy for him, tried to lay out my future plans, but none were coming to me. And he was looking at me expectantly, clearly waiting for those plans to be said.

    “Lucky!” Kuiora said, jumping up and down gleefully.

    I couldn’t help but smile at the two of them. It reminded me of Obieme and the others with our former trainer, in a way…

    “Well,” I said, scoffing to myself, “I have a feeling this will be a very good trainer for you, Rennio.”

    “You’re just going to leave me?”

    “What kind of question is that? I want to go home with you, and Sai is going to help us do just that.”

    “Home?” Kuiora asked.

    “Yes… to Unova, or somewhere like home.”

    Suddenly, the croconaw’s eyes widened considerably. She began jumping up and down again, this time higher and higher, overflowed with joy. She also tried to tackle me in a fun way, but I thankfully dodged out of the way before any of my wings were broken.

    “What was that for?”

    “You’re a legendary pokémon, aren’t you?! You’re from a foreign land! I’ve heard stories about you and your evolved form! I know you’re legendary, so don’t try to hide it from me!”

    “Stories?” I asked. I couldn’t help but be curious.

    “Stories about such bravery and strength, about rescuing and war. Yes, they were definitely about you. I can’t believe I got to find a legendary pokémon so early on in our journey!” she said, holding her paws together and gleaming at me.

    I had never heard of such stories, but I pretended like I had. I told her that yes, they were about me and my evolved form braviary. And yes, I was indeed a legendary pokémon. If Sai wouldn’t accept me, then having one of his pokémon accept me was clearly the next best thing. Then, maybe, he would realize how much his team liked me, and he would ask me to join the team. Yes, that could work, just maybe! It was worth a shot, at any rate.

    “This is just great! Sai is so picky he doesn’t know what he’s doing. You should be on our team, too,” she said excitedly.

    “Yes, I should be.”

    “You should be on the team, Ezrem! I can’t do this alone,” Rennio said, snapping my attention back toward him. I had been so engrossed in the legendary pokémon business that I had almost forgotten him, the poor pokémon.

    “Don’t worry, my friend,” I said generously. “I will go on this journey with you! I’ve got it all planned out, don’t you worry.”

    “You really do?”

    “I do. You should say yes to being on his team. Walk up to her replacement and welcome him home. And I will follow and protect you, despite the boy’s protests.”

    “You promise?”

    “I promise.”

    I said I promised, and Rennio smiled. Kuiora smiled, for other reasons, but it was a smile nonetheless. I smiled, too, but I didn’t know what I was smiling for. After all, I had chosen Sai, but he hadn’t chosen me?

    He betrayed me from the start. But I was stuck. I had vowed to make it up to Rennio, and it was my fault we were in this mess to begin with, anyway.

    Right now, I was grounded; my wings were broken. It was crystal clear that my dreams were hanging from a wire, ready to drop and crash at any moment.

    Rennio, Sai, you don’t know what you do to me.

    I will make it home…
    Last edited by diamondpearl876; 17th October 2012 at 7:19 PM.

    | survival project |
    | this trainer is different. everyone knows it, but no one can explain it. |
    | complete |


    | flying in the dark |
    | he's hiding something. she just doesn't know it. |
    | on hiatus|


    | love and other nightmares |
    | limited time, limited abilities. kyurem says she can be cured in exchange for saving those who need saving. |
    | chapter 3 released 11/22/14 |


  17. #117
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    Yay, it's finally back~

    I've been pretty inactive around the fanfiction forum lately, so this review might be a bit rusty, but I'll do my best.

    First off: Ezrem is brilliant. I wasn't expecting such a manipulative personality to come out of an unassuming Pokemon like Rufflet, but you made it work so well. (I know firsthand how manipulative birds can be, because I have a pet cockatiel, and she has me wrapped around her little claw.) And that backstory made me want to hate him and feel sorry for him at the same time. Amazing what some misguided motivation will do. I wonder how his trainer's death will affect him later on?

    I also thought it was great that you changed up Sai's "formula" for catching Pokemon. Bringing Rennio into the mix was certainly a refreshing twist, and his personality seems to contrast nicely with Ezrem's controlling nature. I wonder why Sai didn't want to give Rennio a name, though. I'd be inclined to think it's because he was owned by a different trainer, but I'm sure Sai has a different explanation. It also seems like Sai might be able to see through Ezrem's ruse, as well - otherwise I don't know why the Rufflet wasn't one of the "chosen ones." Speaking of which, though, it was interesting that Ezrem was so sure that Sai was going to be the trainer for him, and that he was so jealous when Rennio was given favor instead. Seems to me like Ezrem's manipulative ways are an attempt to hide his own insecurities?

    I'd just like to point out a few places that stood out to me:

    I had not a clue about much of anything. We were, of course, still in Ilex Forest when we met Sai, three months after the incident. When Rennio was away, I liked to stand near the entrance of the forest and watch for potential trainers to manipulate into taking me home or finding me a home. So when I saw those trainers Marty and Sai, when I saw that Sai had little training experience and was copying Marty just to make himself look smart, I decided to butt in. The sentret was thrown back into the bushes, and I found my chance. I introduced myself in the best way possible—with advice! That would surely make them interested in me and think of me as a good pokémon, one who liked to help others…
    What a little b*****d... Even so, he still manages to be endearing. Which is exactly what he'd want. XD

    Suddenly, the croconaw’s eyes widened considerably. She began jumping up and down again, this time higher and higher, overflowed with joy. She also tried to tackle me in a fun way, but I thankfully dodged out of the way before any of my wings were broken.

    “What was that for?”

    “You’re a legendary pokémon, aren’t you?! You’re from a foreign land! I’ve heard stories about you and your evolved form! I know you’re legendary, so don’t try to hide it from me!”

    “Stories?” I asked. I couldn’t help but be curious.

    “Stories about such bravery and strength, about rescuing and war. Yes, they were definitely about you. I can’t believe I got to find a legendary pokémon so early on in our journey!” she said, holding her paws together and gleaming at me.

    I had never heard of such stories, but I pretended like I had. I told her that yes, they were about me and my evolved form breviary. And yes, I was indeed a legendary pokémon. If Sai wouldn’t accept me, then having one of his pokémon accept me was clearly the next best thing. Then, maybe, he would realize how much his team liked me, and he would ask me to join the team. Yes, that could work, just maybe! It was worth a shot, at any rate.
    I still love Kuiora. : D I can't wait to see more interactions between these two (read: how much Ezrem can mess with Kuiora's head). I'd hate to think what would happen if/when Kuiora catches on to his tricks, though; it wouldn't be pretty for the poor bird.

    I said I promised, and Rennio smiled. Kuiora smiled, for other reasons, but it was a smile nonetheless. I smiled, too, but I didn’t know what I was smiling for. After all, I had chosen Sai, but he hadn’t chosen me?

    He betrayed me from the start. But I was stuck. I had vowed to make it up to Rennio, and it was my fault we were in this mess to begin with, anyway.

    Right now, I was grounded; my wings were broken. It was crystal clear that my dreams were hanging from a wire, ready to drop and crash at any moment.

    Rennio, Sai, you don’t know what you do to me.

    I will make it home…
    Aww... You sure do manage to pack in a lot of emotion into a short amount of time. It seems like there's more to Ezrem wanting to get home than he's letting on, though...

    Anyway, found a few small errors:

    “Atis, get that pokémon!” Sai cried suddenly, his arm extended and pointing directly at Rennio. The hitmontop from behind peaked out around Sai as if he were peering around the side of a building, watching for danger.
    Should be "peeked."

    He stood up a few moments later, looking for his target but appeared dizzy.
    The wording here is slightly confusing, so you may want to add a comma after "target."

    Rennio peered over at me, and I nodded. So Rennio rolled it, or something like that. Like the berries, he dropped them on the ground as if I had just rammed him in the stomach once more. He probably wasn’t ready for another trainer or another traner’s attention, the poor guy, but it had to be done, I thought.
    Forgot an "i" in the second "trainer". Also, the bolded part seems slightly redundant to me - since it's kind of implied that a new trainer would already give attention to a newly caught Pokemon, I think you could probably reduce that passage to just one phrase or the other, if my explanation makes any sense. It's up to you, though.

    I had never heard of such stories, but I pretended like I had. I told her that yes, they were about me and my evolved form breviary.
    Braviary.

    Other than that, though, you've done an excellent job, as always. Looking forward to more.

    ~Crimson Penguin

    Friend Safari - Bug with Butterfree/Volbeat/Vivillon - PM me for my FC!
        Spoiler:- Shiny hunting stuff:


  18. #118
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    That was really good and I can't find any spelling or grammatical errors that have not been mentioned s, do we get an intro chapter for the Elekid too? As far as I can tell he's just some trusting mon so far


    ^You ever have that moment you realize you forgot to give credit? Sorry Irra!!^

  19. #119
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    So I caught up sometime after chapter nine, after lagging behind by a chapter or two since about chapter four. I haven't been making quote-by-quote notes, if you'll forgive me, but overall I really like Kuiora and her constant issues with proving herself (she's my favorite of the Pokémon), Sai is cryptic as ever, and there's been a lot of interesting stuff going on (e.g. Kuiora attacking Sai).

    As for chapter ten, that was very intriguing as well. Ezrem is a bit of a puzzle; he's dangerously manipulative but also just seems confused and insecure, like manipulation is just the only way he knows to get what he wants. He seems like a fascinating character and I look forward to seeing more of him, especially since at the beginning he implies there's more to his story than what he stated there - and being that he is manipulative, I'm not sure we can entirely trust him as a narrator.

    Meanwhile, yet again it's Sai that captivates me - specifically, when he says, "The elekid doesn't have a name." The Elekid doesn't have a name? It sounds like he's referring to some specific Elekid that already doesn't have a name, rather than deciding his own Elekid won't have one. I think he's laboring to reconstruct a specific team - if he was once a Pokémon, a theory I'm still holding on to, perhaps the team his own trainer used to have. Admittedly I don't remember quite well enough at the moment how his previous captures played out exactly, which could contradict that interpretation - but I still feel like I'm on to something. I might give those chapters a quick reread later.

    It'll be interesting to see how Rennio copes and how Ezrem fits into the whole picture.

    Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
    The story of an ordinary boy on an impossible quest in a world that isn't as black and white as he always thought it was.
    (rough draft of the remaining chapters finished for NaNoWriMo; to be edited and posted)

    Morphic
    (completed, plus silly extras)
    A few scientists get drunk and start fiddling with gene splicing. Ten years later, they're taking care of eight half-Pokémon kids, each freakier than the next, while a religious fanatic plots to murder them all.

    Lengthy fanfiction reviewing guide / A more condensed version
    Read and I will be very happy for a large number of reasons.

  20. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    First off: Ezrem is brilliant. I wasn't expecting such a manipulative personality to come out of an unassuming Pokemon like Rufflet, but you made it work so well. (I know firsthand how manipulative birds can be, because I have a pet cockatiel, and she has me wrapped around her little claw.)
    Oh my lordy, I have six cockatiels and they're all evil. Well, not really, but they certainly can be manipulative. Glad to see another cockatiel fan out there, wooo!

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    And that backstory made me want to hate him and feel sorry for him at the same time.
    Aw, that's what I was going for. I personally hate when I can't make up my mind on how to feel about something, and then I went and did the same thing to readers. Oops.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    I wonder why Sai didn't want to give Rennio a name, though. I'd be inclined to think it's because he was owned by a different trainer, but I'm sure Sai has a different explanation.
    Sai's explanations are never normal, ya know.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Seems to me like Ezrem's manipulative ways are an attempt to hide his own insecurities?
    Sounds about right.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    I can't wait to see more interactions between these two (read: how much Ezrem can mess with Kuiora's head). I'd hate to think what would happen if/when Kuiora catches on to his tricks, though; it wouldn't be pretty for the poor bird.
    Lmao, I don't even want to think about that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crimson Penguin View Post
    Anyway, found a few small errors:
    Fixed them all, thanks for pointing them out. Although I could have sworn I spelled braviary right and then autocorrect messed it up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonicwari View Post
    That was really good and I can't find any spelling or grammatical errors that have not been mentioned s, do we get an intro chapter for the Elekid too? As far as I can tell he's just some trusting mon so far
    Yes, Rennio does get an introduction chapter where his character will get fleshed out a bit more. Look out for it!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragonfree View Post
    So I caught up sometime after chapter nine, after lagging behind by a chapter or two since about chapter four. I haven't been making quote-by-quote notes, if you'll forgive me, but overall I really like Kuiora and her constant issues with proving herself (she's my favorite of the Pokémon), Sai is cryptic as ever, and there's been a lot of interesting stuff going on (e.g. Kuiora attacking Sai).

    As for chapter ten, that was very intriguing as well. Ezrem is a bit of a puzzle; he's dangerously manipulative but also just seems confused and insecure, like manipulation is just the only way he knows to get what he wants. He seems like a fascinating character and I look forward to seeing more of him, especially since at the beginning he implies there's more to his story than what he stated there - and being that he is manipulative, I'm not sure we can entirely trust him as a narrator.

    Meanwhile, yet again it's Sai that captivates me - specifically, when he says, "The elekid doesn't have a name." The Elekid doesn't have a name? It sounds like he's referring to some specific Elekid that already doesn't have a name, rather than deciding his own Elekid won't have one. I think he's laboring to reconstruct a specific team - if he was once a Pokémon, a theory I'm still holding on to, perhaps the team his own trainer used to have. Admittedly I don't remember quite well enough at the moment how his previous captures played out exactly, which could contradict that interpretation - but I still feel like I'm on to something. I might give those chapters a quick reread later.

    It'll be interesting to see how Rennio copes and how Ezrem fits into the whole picture.
    Well, I'm glad my slow update was good for you to catch up! I'm also glad you still like Kuiora even with her going pretty much crazy, since some people were skeptical about that.

    It sure seems like he's trying to resconstruct some kind of team, isn't he? Though I don't want to give away details, since I'm evil like that, we'll see if your theory changes later on. Thanks for commenting!

    | survival project |
    | this trainer is different. everyone knows it, but no one can explain it. |
    | complete |


    | flying in the dark |
    | he's hiding something. she just doesn't know it. |
    | on hiatus|


    | love and other nightmares |
    | limited time, limited abilities. kyurem says she can be cured in exchange for saving those who need saving. |
    | chapter 3 released 11/22/14 |


  21. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    She never wanted our journey to be over so she never completed any gym circuit, and she wanted to see the waters and the unique cities there, she said.
    Should be a comma before "so".

    My name is Ezrem, and I don’t need pity to suffer from or feel guilty for my actions. This is just the surface of my story, but details are not needed here…
    I didn't know quite where to stick this, so I'll put it here: Ezrem is interesting. It (I'm awful at guessing your pokemon's genders! Though, now that I think about it, it is a Rufflet and thus, HAS to be male) combines so many aspects of Kuiora (the love of fables and legendary pokemon), Senori (tragedy it caused involving its "pack") and Atis (seeing humans as bothersome and a means to his own personal ends).

    “Now that we’re the only ones, I vow to protect you!” I said to him shortly after the incident, trying to quickly atone for what I had done. It was the least I could do, and maybe he could help me find a home here in Johto, since, according to the spiteful forest guardian, going back to Unova was out of the question due to the evil stunt I had pulled. I could only hope that we wouldn’t find an elekid in Johto, which was believed to be their main region. If that ever happened, what would I do? I had not a clue.
    Oh, foreshadowing.

    I knew his voice was fake because his body betrayed him when he didn’t stomp off or anything, just walked like a normal person you would pass by on the road. And with that, he was out of my sight. It looked like he had gone back to Azalea Town despite saying he wanted to leave. Nevertheless, I kept a note in my head—if Marty ever showed up again, he had a weakness: his sister, and maybe just the idea of being a trainer.
    Ezrem may have TRAITS of Kuiora, Atis, and Senori, but it is also very much its own pokemon. Such nefariousness and plotting. It's almost a little evil... or, at least, completely selfish and narcissistic.

    Out of the bushes jumped Rennio, screaming “Rennio has come back to the world!”
    ...Oh, god. What is this Elekid's deal?

    “We would both like to join your team,” I repeated, more calmly and more determined this time. I started walking up to Sai, motioning again for Rennio to follow me. I knew he’d listen to me, as he trusted my judgment despite everything… And he did follow, leaving his berries behind.
    I like the use of ellipses near the end there; I can hear Ezrem's mental voice tailing off as he again recalls what happened that put him and Rennio in the situation they find themselves.

    Rennio peered over at me, and I nodded. So Rennio rolled it, or something like that. Like the berries, he dropped them on the ground as if I had just rammed him in the stomach once more. He probably wasn’t ready for another trainer’s attention, the poor guy, but it had to be done, I thought.
    I might drop the "I thought" from the end there. It saps the strength of the "it had to be done" line, and I already knew Ezrem thought it--the chapter is his first person perspective. I get that he's relaying a thought he had in the past, but I just think the line would be stronger without it.

    “Are you going to give him a name?” chimed in the croconaw, who had just been watching during this entire ordeal.

    Sai paused, then carefully answered, “No. The elekid doesn’t have a name.”

    “My name is Rennio, given by my other—”

    “You don’t have a name,” Sai interrupted, releasing his hold on the pokémon.

    “I don’t?” he said quietly, looking heartbroken, as if he would really have to give up his old name.

    “No, you don’t.”

    “So I’m really your pokémon?”

    “Yes, you are.”

    “Are you sure? What about my friend, Ezrem?” he asked, pointing to me.

    “Ezrem is not my pokémon, but you are.”
    I really liked this whole bit. Quick-hitting and fun. I do wonder why Sai dislikes the Ezrem so much. Can he see what kind of pokemon it actually is?

    As if she was reading my mind, the first thing that she said when the two of them made it over to the other side of the clearing was: “My trainer is very picky about what pokémon is on his team. This elekid is very lucky.”

    “Lucky, huh?” I said under my breath. Yes, it confirmed that Sai was a good trainer. But what good did that do for me if I couldn’t be with him? Although I was jealous of Rennio, I tried to be happy for him, tried to lay out my future plans, but none were coming to me. And he was looking at me expectantly, clearly waiting for those plans to be said.

    “Lucky!” Kuiora said, jumping up and down gleefully.
    Oh, Kuiora. I'm glad she didn't end up staying all moody and bitter.

    “You should be on the team, Ezrem! I can’t do this alone,” Rennio said, snapping my attention back toward him. I had been so engrossed in the legendary pokémon business that I had almost forgotten him, the poor pokémon.
    Man, Ezrem is a self-righteous jerk.


    -As with all of your pokemon thus far (by the way! Don't think I've forgotten that one of them is eventually going to die. This makes me unhappy), Ezrem is an exceedingly deep, fulfilling character. He seems diabolical and selfish, and he, in turns, treats Rennio either like a true friend or a stupid pawn. I can't figure out if he actually cares for the Elekid or not. It's an interesting little mystery.

    Sai might not know what he's getting into. Both Ezrem and Rennio have to be greatly over-leveled and powerful, given their history with their previous trainer (who I don't buy for one second is actually dead). It'll be neat to see what he thinks when he sees their power for the first time.


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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    Well, I'm sorry for the extremely long wait. What else can I say? Real life has been kicking my ***. I guess if anyone cares, they can ask for details, but I'm mainly here to release the next chapter. It's an introductory chapter for a new pokemon, so it's shorter than the others, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless.
    Welcome back! I think I'll enjoy this chapter for sure.


    SURVIVAL PROJECT

    chapter 10 ; [EZREM]
    grounded

    *
    I don't think I've noticed it before, but I just realized that these chapter titles are laid out like titles of reports, or something.

    There was a team of pokémon who had a trainer, once. She gave us all annoying names. There was Kephi the venipede, Obieme the tepig, Virokoe the purrloin, and when we went to Sinnoh and then to Johto, we got Rennio the elekid. Despite the weird names, they loved her so. I did not love her, but I tolerated her—just because she was the type of person that made you enjoy your name just because of the way she said it. And we all liked her enough to the point where we all agreed never to evolve simply because she wanted a team of non-evolved pokémon. We loved her—liked her, in my case—because she was easygoing, nice, compromising… and therefore she was also easy to manipulate.
    Okay, I'm assuming this is the new Pokemon you mentioned narrating this, and I'm liking it so far. The idea of a Pokemon manipulating its trainer is especially unique.

    After receiving six badges in Unova and six badges in Sinnoh, she had wanted to go to Hoenn. She never wanted our journey to be over so she never completed any gym circuit, and she wanted to see the waters and the unique cities there, she said. I told her that I was a rufflet that came from Johto, and I wanted to see home once more. Somehow she believed me; she trusted me wholeheartedly. In reality, I had heard of a legendary pokémon that could travel through time. I wanted to travel through the future so that my journey with her could finally be over, and I could permanently find a place I could call home. She had taken me when I was young, and moving around did not satisfy me in the slightest.

    Because I pretended to love her and because she truly loved us, she sacrificed her dream of going to Hoenn for me. We took a boat to get to Johto, just so that she could travel the sea as if she were really going to her dream region. She never talked about it, but we all knew she was thinking of it.
    To the degree that this Rufflet is manipulating its trainer - lying to her with carefully planned motives in mind - surprises me. This really is something I don't think I've ever seen before.

    I assume that this girl was able to talk to Pokemon like Sai does? Forgive me if some details are slipping from my mind after a while.

    When we got to the Johto region, she of course started the gym circuit over. I had agreed to let her do this, since I told her my home was in Azalea Town—only two badges in, it wouldn’t take long, I could at least give her that. When we finally reached the town and Ilex Forest, however, I wished that it had been the last gym.

    I didn’t intend to do it. People in the town said that Celebi, the forest’s protector, only came out in the face of danger. Well, then, I thought, I would have to create my own danger so that I may talk to this forest guardian! I asked the tepig named Obieme to start a fire for me and then come help me find food. But our trainer and the other pokémon aren’t here to watch the fire, he said! She was out getting wood. I said it was fine, we needed to mark a meeting place anyway, and that was what our trainer had told me to do. She hadn’t. But of course the tepig with the silly name listened to me and started the fire and left with me. And of course the fire spread because no one was near it for a very long time and the winds were strong that day.

    If the forest guardian ever came, I never knew. All I knew was that my trainer must have gotten trapped somewhere along with the rest of the pokémon. Rennio escaped because he had gotten lost and got help at the next town, and though Obieme was with me, I hadn’t seen him since. They were all dead, I knew, and it was my fault. The forest guardian was meant to help me but spited me instead.
    Oh... oh wow... that's horrible. This Rufflet hasn't been around for more than a few paragraphs and I already feel an emotional connection to it, just because of how awful the things that happened to him are.

    My name is Ezrem. I got that name from my trainer, once. She told me that the name sounded like it could be a type of jewel, an item to be cherished because it seemed so delicate yet, beneath its pretty exterior, was unyielding and sharp. She was certainly right, but I never got the chance to tell her so. I could not change my ways and she died for it.

    My name is Ezrem, and I don’t need pity to suffer from or feel guilty for my actions. This is just the surface of my story, but details are not needed here…
    That's a very apt way to end this part of Ezrem's story, I think.

    My trainer said Johto was meant to be a new place, a new home, a new adventure. Again, she was certainly right. There was the incident, and then after, I had been watching over Rennio. Being the only survivor besides myself, he was shaken by the incident and at a complete loss as to what to do next. His situation was especially dire in his mind because I had once told him that there weren’t many elekid in the Unova or Sinnoh region—they were going extinct! And since then he had been panicking over battles and making sure that he was kept safe at all costs.

    “Now that we’re the only ones, I vow to protect you!” I said to him shortly after the incident, trying to quickly atone for what I had done. It was the least I could do, and maybe he could help me find a home here in Johto, since, according to the spiteful forest guardian, going back to Unova was out of the question due to the evil stunt I had pulled. I could only hope that we wouldn’t find an elekid in Johto, which was believed to be their main region. If that ever happened, what would I do? I had not a clue.

    I had not a clue about much of anything. We were, of course, still in Ilex Forest when we met Sai, three months after the incident. When Rennio was away, I liked to stand near the entrance of the forest and watch for potential trainers to manipulate into taking me home or finding me a home. So when I saw those trainers Marty and Sai, when I saw that Sai had little training experience and was copying Marty just to make himself look smart, I decided to butt in. The sentret was thrown back into the bushes, and I found my chance. I introduced myself in the best way possible—with advice! That would surely make them interested in me and think of me as a good pokémon, one who liked to help others…
    Okay, I'm really liking how you're developing Ezrem so far. You're fitting him perfectly into Sai's narrative, and in just the paragraphs of this chapter thus far I feel that I know more about him than I do about most Pokemon in fics I see. Ezrem's relationship to Rennio also helps in fleshing him (?) out, by providing a more sympathetic angle to his character.

    Seeing the two of them fight afterward only confirmed my decision. Marty had been a contender but had failed. He was too angry, stuck in his own ways… He just wasn’t for me. On the other hand, Sai’s pokémon stayed loyal to him, and they must have been doing so for a good reason, whatever reason it was. I needed loyalty, for Sai not to betray me. His apparent lack of knowledge appealed to me as well.
    Showing a Pokemon choosing its trainer from the Pokemon's point of view is something I wish more writers would do. It's just so sadly rare, for moreso than it should be.

    I continued watching them, keeping Rennio in my mind. He was out getting food and knew exactly where to find me, just as I knew where exactly to find him. I could have gone to help him, but I was waiting for my chance to step in, here…

    “You know my sister?” the boy named Marty cried. He stood in the clearing, fists clenched and his feet spread apart. I couldn’t see his face, as his back was to me, but I could assume that he didn’t look too pleased.

    “I met her and saw your house,” Sai said, remaining calm. He was standing now, when before he had been kneeling down next to his pokémon. A hitmontop stood behind him, and the other two, a sentret and a croconaw, stood in front.

    “Did she say anything about me?” Marty said, his tone softer, his body still betraying him.

    “She said you were a good trainer.”

    Now, Marty’s pose started to change. His stood up straight, his fists unclenched. His voice was growing softer as he said, “She did?”

    “Yeah, she did. I bet she’d want to be as strong as you if she were a trainer.”

    “She is a trainer. She wants to leave Azalea Town soon, too,” he said quietly. Then, he tried to flame up again, though I could tell it was fake as he said, “Don’t think that she’d want to travel with us or anything! Or that I would want to. I’m out of here now.”

    I knew his voice was fake because his body betrayed him when he didn’t stomp off or anything, just walked like a normal person you would pass by on the road. And with that, he was out of my sight. It looked like he had gone back to Azalea Town despite saying he wanted to leave. Nevertheless, I kept a note in my head—if Marty ever showed up again, he had a weakness: his sister, and maybe just the idea of being a trainer.
    Kinda glad to see Marty go, in all honesty. Ezrem's observation about his potential weakness does develop him a bit, though.

    This was when I decided to step out. If I waited any longer, Rennio would come back to interrupt me, or Sai would leave, and I’d lose him! It couldn’t happen. He was the one and I knew it, had to believe it. With my two stubby feet I made my way through the bushes, ignoring the giant leaves that tried to block my view of the boy. The rustling noise caught his attention, and before I even revealed myself completely, he was looking at me.

    “I just saw you!” the sentret cried, darting out even further in front of Sai, as if I was an enemy.

    “Yes, yes, you did! And I helped you, and you won,” I said, grinning like I was clearly an idiot.

    The sentret looked confused for a moment, letting his guard down. He said, “Yes, we did win... You weren’t talking like that before, though.”

    “No? I talk this way, all the time, believe me!” I said, jumping up and down, fluttering my wings ever so slightly. Ever so slightly, yes, but it would change soon enough! This was the beginning of my long flight home, wherever that was.

    I looked up at Sai, expecting him to notice me and want to take me in immediately like most other trainers had. Trainers must not see rufflet in Johto very often, and it shows by their excitement, their desperation and the use of all their pokéballs, despite the fact that I can never be formally caught. My old pokéball was out there somewhere, but if Sai was the one, he would be okay with that…

    But Sai didn’t do anything. He looked down at me, staring rather blankly. I thought maybe he didn’t know how rare rufflet were around these parts, and that once he knew, his mind would change easily. So I started gesturing toward Sai as clearly as I could. Speaking would be useless, as he couldn’t understand me. I flew over to him, landed by his side and used my wing to point toward his backpack, where I assumed his pokéballs were. Immediately he bent down and opened it for me, allowing me to retrieve whatever it was I wanted. In any other situation that would have been a bad idea, but alas! This time I only took out a pokéball, empty or not, didn’t matter. After I dropped it to the ground, I started jumping up and down, up and down to show my excitement. But still, Sai’s facial expression was blink, his body limp.

    I stopped jumping up and down. Frowning, I turned to the sentret and said, “Tell your trainer I want to join his team.”

    “He can understand you,” the sentret replied automatically, emotionlessly.

    “He can?” I asked just as automatically.

    “Yeah… He’s an interesting human, to say the least.”
    I guess this means Ezrem's late trainer did not understand him, then? I'm not sure which way it's going.

    I have to say Ezrem's enthusiasm is pretty adorable here.

    I turned back toward Sai, looking straight into his eyes and trying to keep a blank facial expression myself. I wasn’t afraid of him! I wasn’t afraid of a trainer who could somehow talk to pokémon, and I had to show it. Yes, it only confirmed my suspicions of Sai being the one. He was special, all right. I could tell him everything straight to his face someday and he’d understand.

    “I want to join your team!” I cried, jumping up and down again. “I can’t be caught in a pokéball, but I will remain loyal! I will never stray from your side if you take me with you. I have experience, I’m smart, ask your sentret there…”

    “No,” Sai interrupted. My beak hung open for a moment, confused as to what I had just heard. Had Sai really just rejected me out front?
    You know, somehow I should have expected this. It would have been too easy if Sai had said yes right away, not to mention that it would probably be a little outside his character.

    Just as I was about to try to change his mind, I heard a crackling sound and a distinct humming noise. It was loud enough to attract the attention of everyone nearby. They were alarmed while I was not. But what bad timing, I thought! It was Rennio, and I knew it. That was what happened when you were stuck with him for so long and watched his every move…

    Out of the bushes jumped Rennio, screaming “Rennio has come back to the world!”
    Oh wow, Rennio's pretty great too. I like them both.

    The little yellow and black elekid stood there with an armful of red berries, looking around, presumably for me. Once he spotted me, he obviously noted how friendly I was with these pokémon and this trainer already, so he steadily made his way over to us. It would be hard for him to see my inevitable disgrace and disappointment, but such was life, I supposed. I couldn’t have predicted, however, what happened next.

    “Atis, get that pokémon!” Sai cried suddenly, his arm extended and pointing directly at Rennio. The hitmontop from behind peeked out around Sai as if he were peering around the side of a building, watching for danger. He saw Rennio and had a dreadful look on his face, but nevertheless launched forward and onto the spinner on the top of his head. He started spinning wildly, preparing to kick the poor elekid out of the way…

    This all happened too fast for me to react right away. Once I figured out the situation, however, I remembered—I had to protect Rennio at all costs, even from Sai, my future trainer. Blowing the pokéball away in the process, I flapped my wings as aggressively as I could to make it to Rennio in time. I knocked him out of the way, figuring it was safer than attacking the dangerous hitmontop (Atis, was it?) head on.

    All the red berries flew out of Rennio’s arm as he crashed to the ground beside him with a thud. The hitmontop tried to slow down and control his movement but he only succeeded in wobbling to and fro and then colliding with the same bushes that I had been watching from. He stood up a few moments later, looking for his target, but appeared dizzy. Atis was a hitmontop who wasn’t too used to spinning on its own head, apparently.

    “No attacking Rennio!” I cried, admittedly unsure if I should be talking to Atis or Sai. Atis seemed like he’d listen immediately despite me not being his trainer, so I turned to Sai in the end. “He’s my friend. He would also like to join your team with me.”

    “What?” Rennio asked, looking up at me. I realized that I was still standing on top of his body, so before I got electrocuted, I swiftly jumped off of him, realizing at the same time that he had no idea what the situation was at the moment. I would have to fill him in later. For now, I tried to motion for him to follow along with me.

    “We would both like to join your team,” I repeated, more calmly and more determined this time. I started walking up to Sai, motioning again for Rennio to follow me. I knew he’d listen to me, as he trusted my judgment despite everything… And he did follow, leaving his berries behind.

    Sai frowned, simply staring once more. This time, he was staring at Rennio. There wasn’t much else I could say. How much more straightforward could I be? We both wanted to be his pokémon. He looked like he needed a rare pokémon and an electric-type, anyway, right? But I was wrong.

    I got my hopes up a lot when he started digging around in his pocket for something. At first I assumed it was a pokéball, but then thought that pokéballs were too big to fit in a human’s pocket, even when minimized. My hopes dropped away once he pulled out a black and white dice, and then another one. They stared at me mockingly, just as Sai had been doing not too long ago. I started seeing what was going on when Sai handed Rennio the dice as well. Sai clearly preferred Rennio over me, though I could not tell why.
    I had a feeling that Sai would prefer Rennio the moment he came back. Actually, I think I predicted it a little earlier than that. Either way, right now I feel kind of bad for Ezrem.

    Singular of "dice" is "die," by the way. There are two dice in total in this scene, but the way you're wording it, Sai took them out one at a time, right? I think it should say "he pulled out a black and white die" instead.

    “Roll it,” said Sai.

    Rennio peered over at me, and I nodded. So Rennio rolled it, or something like that. Like the berries, he dropped them on the ground as if I had just rammed him in the stomach once more. He probably wasn’t ready for another trainer’s attention, the poor guy, but it had to be done, I thought.

    Both of the dice landed on the ground with a thud. One of them had a single black dot on it, while the other had three. I looked up to Sai, both eager and wary of seeing his reaction. His reaction was gleeful, overjoyed, and I felt empty.

    “You’re my fourth pokémon!” Sai cried, diving down onto his knees and leaning in to apparently hug the poor electric-type. Rennio was embraced ever so lovingly, and he looked over to me, puzzled and utterly defeated. His facial expression was the equivalent of asking me whether or not he should electrocute this boy and make a run for it, but I was too stunned to move.
    Sai's childish actions are amusing but the situation here with Rennio being separated from Ezrem and Ezrem getting rejected is pretty depressing. I don't know how to feel here...

    “Are you going to give him a name?” chimed in the croconaw, who had just been watching during this entire ordeal.

    Sai paused, then carefully answered, “No. The elekid doesn’t have a name.”

    “My name is Rennio, given by my other—”

    “You don’t have a name,” Sai interrupted, releasing his hold on the pokémon.
    No. If he actually goes through with this and forces Rennio to get a new name against his will, I'm going to lose a lot of respect I built up for Sai.

    “I don’t?” he said quietly, looking heartbroken, as if he would really have to give up his old name.

    “No, you don’t.”

    “So I’m really your pokémon?”

    “Yes, you are.”

    “Are you sure? What about my friend, Ezrem?” he asked, pointing to me.

    “Ezrem is not my pokémon, but you are.”

    Rennio frowned, but he wasn’t the type to deny others. He also wasn’t the type to doubt me, so he must have known I had something up my sleeve. Instead of turning away from Sai, he said, “Can I at least say good-bye to him first?”

    “Go right ahead, but… Kuiora, go over there and make sure he doesn’t run off on us, okay?” Sai asked, petting the rather menacing looking water-type and directing her over to us.

    As if she was reading my mind, the first thing that she said when the two of them made it over to the other side of the clearing was: “My trainer is very picky about what pokémon is on his team. This elekid is very lucky.”
    I really cannot say that I like how Sai is coming off here. I know he can't help it and to him this behavior is right, but he's really coming off badly to me. Writing off Ezrem and basically forcing Rennio to throw out his identity bothers me, though I can't really tell if Rennio likes it or not.

    “Lucky, huh?” I said under my breath. Yes, it confirmed that Sai was a good trainer. But what good did that do for me if I couldn’t be with him? Although I was jealous of Rennio, I tried to be happy for him, tried to lay out my future plans, but none were coming to me. And he was looking at me expectantly, clearly waiting for those plans to be said.

    “Lucky!” Kuiora said, jumping up and down gleefully.

    I couldn’t help but smile at the two of them. It reminded me of Obieme and the others with our former trainer, in a way…

    “Well,” I said, scoffing to myself, “I have a feeling this will be a very good trainer for you, Rennio.”

    “You’re just going to leave me?”

    “What kind of question is that? I want to go home with you, and Sai is going to help us do just that.”
    I don't understand exactly what Ezrem is doing here yet...

    “Home?” Kuiora asked.

    “Yes… to Unova, or somewhere like home.”

    Suddenly, the croconaw’s eyes widened considerably. She began jumping up and down again, this time higher and higher, overflowed with joy. She also tried to tackle me in a fun way, but I thankfully dodged out of the way before any of my wings were broken.

    “What was that for?”

    “You’re a legendary pokémon, aren’t you?! You’re from a foreign land! I’ve heard stories about you and your evolved form! I know you’re legendary, so don’t try to hide it from me!”

    “Stories?” I asked. I couldn’t help but be curious.

    “Stories about such bravery and strength, about rescuing and war. Yes, they were definitely about you. I can’t believe I got to find a legendary pokémon so early on in our journey!” she said, holding her paws together and gleaming at me.

    I had never heard of such stories, but I pretended like I had. I told her that yes, they were about me and my evolved form braviary. And yes, I was indeed a legendary pokémon. If Sai wouldn’t accept me, then having one of his pokémon accept me was clearly the next best thing. Then, maybe, he would realize how much his team liked me, and he would ask me to join the team. Yes, that could work, just maybe! It was worth a shot, at any rate.
    It's not going to work, Ezrem. Sai doesn't operate like that, and the story about being a Legendary Pokemon is kind of flimsy.

    “This is just great! Sai is so picky he doesn’t know what he’s doing. You should be on our team, too,” she said excitedly.

    “Yes, I should be.”

    “You should be on the team, Ezrem! I can’t do this alone,” Rennio said, snapping my attention back toward him. I had been so engrossed in the legendary pokémon business that I had almost forgotten him, the poor pokémon.

    “Don’t worry, my friend,” I said generously. “I will go on this journey with you! I’ve got it all planned out, don’t you worry.”

    “You really do?”

    “I do. You should say yes to being on his team. Walk up to her replacement and welcome him home. And I will follow and protect you, despite the boy’s protests.”
    I don't really understand the way Ezrem talks sometimes. "Her replacement" is obviously Sai, but I don't understand the "home" part completely. If you could just explain what it means a little more clearly, I would really appreciate that.

    “You promise?”

    “I promise.”

    I said I promised, and Rennio smiled. Kuiora smiled, for other reasons, but it was a smile nonetheless. I smiled, too, but I didn’t know what I was smiling for. After all, I had chosen Sai, but he hadn’t chosen me?

    He betrayed me from the start. But I was stuck. I had vowed to make it up to Rennio, and it was my fault we were in this mess to begin with, anyway.

    Right now, I was grounded; my wings were broken. It was crystal clear that my dreams were hanging from a wire, ready to drop and crash at any moment.

    Rennio, Sai, you don’t know what you do to me.

    I will make it home…
    Now I don't feel very hopeful for Ezrem at all...

    I don't have much to say here. Not to reflect on you at all, it's just that there's nothing coming to mind for me to say, really. I don't have any predictions right now as to where the story will go from here. Ezrem might be either another entertaining personality on the cast or a heartbreaking one, depending on how he's used from this point, but Rennio really is caught in the middle. He doesn't deserve how seemingly poorly Sai is treating him, but I would like to believe that there's some development coming down the line that will fix up the issues there.

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  23. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    Should be a comma before "so".
    Fixed, thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    Ezrem may have TRAITS of Kuiora, Atis, and Senori, but it is also very much its own pokemon. Such nefariousness and plotting. It's almost a little evil... or, at least, completely selfish and narcissistic.
    Sounds about right.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    ...Oh, god. What is this Elekid's deal?
    You can blame Ezrem for just about anything.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    I might drop the "I thought" from the end there. It saps the strength of the "it had to be done" line, and I already knew Ezrem thought it--the chapter is his first person perspective. I get that he's relaying a thought he had in the past, but I just think the line would be stronger without it.
    I can see why it’d ruin the powerfulness of the sentence. I removed it. For some reason I have a tendency to add “I thought” in first person.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    -As with all of your pokemon thus far (by the way! Don't think I've forgotten that one of them is eventually going to die. This makes me unhappy),

    I don’t know what you’re talking about. Glad you enjoy Ezrem, thanks for commenting!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    I don't think I've noticed it before, but I just realized that these chapter titles are laid out like titles of reports, or something.
    That’s pretty interesting. I never even considered that myself, but it sounds about right.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    To the degree that this Rufflet is manipulating its trainer - lying to her with carefully planned motives in mind - surprises me. This really is something I don't think I've ever seen before.
    I like being unique, so I’m glad you think it’s so.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    I assume that this girl was able to talk to Pokemon like Sai does? Forgive me if some details are slipping from my mind after a while.
    It’s okay, it’s been a while. The girl’s never been mentioned before, anyway. She could speak to her pokémon too after spending so much time with them, and it’s clarified in the next chapter.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    Kinda glad to see Marty go, in all honesty. Ezrem's observation about his potential weakness does develop him a bit, though.
    Hate to tell you but he’ll be back, but I think I’ve finally figured out how I’m going to develop him a bit more.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    I guess this means Ezrem's late trainer did not understand him, then? I'm not sure which way it's going.
    Ezrem is surprised because he thought Sai was a new trainer, and therefore unable to have the ability to communicate with pokémon just yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    Singular of "dice" is "die," by the way. There are two dice in total in this scene, but the way you're wording it, Sai took them out one at a time, right? I think it should say "he pulled out a black and white die" instead.
    Will fix, thanks for pointing it out.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    Sai's childish actions are amusing but the situation here with Rennio being separated from Ezrem and Ezrem getting rejected is pretty depressing. I don't know how to feel here...
    This is meant to be a depressing fic. I sorry.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    No. If he actually goes through with this and forces Rennio to get a new name against his will, I'm going to lose a lot of respect I built up for Sai.
    He won’t force Rennio to get a new name, but he won’t refer to Rennio as, well, Rennio.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    It's not going to work, Ezrem. Sai doesn't operate like that, and the story about being a Legendary Pokemon is kind of flimsy.
    How so, if I my ask?


    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    I don't really understand the way Ezrem talks sometimes. "Her replacement" is obviously Sai, but I don't understand the "home" part completely. If you could just explain what it means a little more clearly, I would really appreciate that.
    Ezrem talks funny sometimes, I think. Um. I think instead of “home” I should have put “in your life”. Since they’re looking for a home, it doesn’t make much more sense. So hopefully “in your life” makes more sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler View Post
    I don't have much to say here. Not to reflect on you at all, it's just that there's nothing coming to mind for me to say, really. I don't have any predictions right now as to where the story will go from here. Ezrem might be either another entertaining personality on the cast or a heartbreaking one, depending on how he's used from this point, but Rennio really is caught in the middle. He doesn't deserve how seemingly poorly Sai is treating him, but I would like to believe that there's some development coming down the line that will fix up the issues there.
    Well, I have quite a few plans for Ezrem, so we’ll see how he turns out. As for Sai, I guess we’ll have to see about that too. Thanks for commenting!

    | survival project |
    | this trainer is different. everyone knows it, but no one can explain it. |
    | complete |


    | flying in the dark |
    | he's hiding something. she just doesn't know it. |
    | on hiatus|


    | love and other nightmares |
    | limited time, limited abilities. kyurem says she can be cured in exchange for saving those who need saving. |
    | chapter 3 released 11/22/14 |


  24. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
    It’s okay, it’s been a while. The girl’s never been mentioned before, anyway. She could speak to her pokémon too after spending so much time with them, and it’s clarified in the next chapter.
    Okay.

    For the sake of clarification, I meant that I couldn't recall if people being able to understand Pokemon easily was a common thing in this universe.

    Hate to tell you but he’ll be back, but I think I’ve finally figured out how I’m going to develop him a bit more.
    That's good. I think he does have potential, but he hasn't fully realized it yet. As he fleshes out into his own character more, I think we'll see an improvement there.

    Ezrem is surprised because he thought Sai was a new trainer, and therefore unable to have the ability to communicate with pokémon just yet.
    I see.

    This is meant to be a depressing fic. I sorry.
    There's nothing to apologize for. In fact, I think the fault lies on my shoulders for being kind of wrong in how to interpret the story in the first place. I had been approaching it as a sort of mystery story about Sai's origins with bits of comedy and tragedy laced in, but now I can readjust my approach so I get it right.

    He won’t force Rennio to get a new name, but he won’t refer to Rennio as, well, Rennio.
    That could be an interesting thing to see going forward. Now I'm beginning to see a really unique angle this can take.

    How so, if I my ask?
    It's easily debunked as a fabrication if Sai ever actually decides to do any research on it.

    Thanks for commenting!
    You're welcome!

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  25. #125
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    Thanks for all the comments again, guys!

    So I've decided that I'll be writing the remainder of Survival Project for this year's upcoming NaNoWriMo. I chose this because I wanted to participate for the second year in a row, and starting something else would pretty much ensure that I'd never finish this, and I really do want to finish this fic. Whether or not I'll succeed is up in the air, of course, and this means tons of editing may be happening, but at the very least, this means that the fic will be planned out from this chapter until the end. The fic will have a total of ~30 chapters if all goes according to plan, so we're about halfway there. Wish me luck, and I'll see you all in the beginning of November with a new chapter.


    SURVIVAL PROJECT

    chapter 11 ; [RENNIO]
    stranger

    *


    I still remember her like it was yesterday. She had long, flowing blonde hair, green eyes. Her love for us pokémon had no boundaries. She found beauty in all things, even the things that made people cringe when she talked about them, like philosophy and math. She was the first person I saw when I hatched from my egg. Where she got that egg, I never knew, but it was all I could do to thank her for retrieving it.

    It was yesterday. In my mind. In my dreams. In my hopes, in my fears.

    She asked me once, “If you were to think about it, would you predict that you’d have more fears than hopes, or more hopes than fears?”

    Back then, I didn’t have to think about it.

    Now, I think too much.

    Yes, I remember her like it was yesterday… I remember even the little things that I observed over the years. She refused to sleep on her sides, so as to never leave her back wide open. She only spoke of Arceus to those who didn’t believe, again, to make them cringe all out of good fun. She never looked at the ground or at the sky as she walked, because she wasn’t afraid of the never-ending path in front of her.

    My favorite memory was when she embraced me. She made it look like a normal hug, made it feel like a stronghold.

    And it’s all so ironic, I know. I think too much about it now, these fears that outweigh my hopes.

    It’s ironic because… the one time she truly needed me, I let her go.

    *

    Annie.

    My first thought amongst the chaos.

    We were simply out getting wood to build our own fire—and when we found it, all we wanted to do was get rid of it and run. It was just extra fuel for the fire heading our way, after all…

    Fire!

    I had to do a double take before I realized that, yes, there really was one coming our way. The crackling sound that I had heard so many times before on our journey now rang through my ears and tormented me relentlessly. The flames were taller than I’d ever seen them before, and the air smelled burnt, crisp, sharp. My senses were exhausted in a matter of seconds. I stood there, confused and dazed, wondering if I was in a dream…

    Annie. Fire!

    Annie, we have no water-type pokémon, we’re nowhere near the exit or entrance, and there’s nothing but more trees surrounding us, more fuel…


    Something had to be done, but judging by our clear lack of action, everyone was thinking the same things as me and no one knew what to do. The fire was growing larger and coming closer to us with every passing second. Closer, closer.

    *

    “What are those things that are always in your mouth?” I asked once. We were just beginning our journey to Johto, as we were on the boat that would lead us to the renowned region. Though I had been traveling with her for quite some time, I had never questioned her about her peculiar eating habit.

    She grabbed another spoonful of berries for me and placed them in my mouth. I smiled as I chewed in order to thank her. I was old enough to feed myself, yet she was always insisting on me being the baby of the group, the one who received all the extra special attention. I was grateful for the care, and so I thanked her for every bite.

    “They’re called cigarettes,” she said, starting to prepare another mouthful for me.

    “Can I have one?” I asked, swallowing the food in my mouth. “They must taste good if you have them all the time.”

    “Nope, you can’t,” she said, smiling to herself. She put the white stick in her mouth once more and then removed it, a puff of smoke following behind. She always did this, over and over, until she had completely gone through the stick.

    “Why not?”

    “They’re not good for pokémon, and I can’t have my baby having something that isn’t good for him, right?”

    “I guess not… What about the others?” I questioned, wondering if I would be jealous of the others for once instead of it being the other way around.

    “They don’t get one, either.”

    She continued feeding me the berries, spoonful by spoonful. I sat there and watched her smoke quietly, wondering what the taste was like, the texture, the feeling that she had when the eating session both started and ended. I supposed I would never know.

    When she was done, she took out a device which sparked a bit of fire, and started all over again.

    *

    Fire.

    That’s what must have happened. Annie must have dropped one of her cigarettes after lighting it on fire, and then left it there. There was no other explanation in my eyes. Because of her sudden carelessness, we were all stuck in this mess.

    I forgave her instantly, though my body said otherwise. I wanted to stay, but my legs were quickly starting to betray me. My knees felt as if they were going to buckle at any moment, or turn and start heading in the other direction.

    It was always this way. My thoughts were much different than my actions. Why couldn’t my mind and body just cooperate? Why was I such a baby on the outside and then so sure of myself on the inside? Wasn’t the mind supposed to send signals to the brain which would in turn send signals to the body? Or something like that? I remembered Annie telling me once. But it just didn’t ring true for me.

    I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay and protect her, protect those green eyes in a fire that was turning everything gray.

    But I was the first to run.

    Annie.

    *

    The other pokémon on the team, particularly Ezrem, always liked to make fun of the day that I was born. Hatching from the egg and not being able to understand their taunting language was apparently amusing. And apparently, the first thing that I was told was my name.

    When I hatched from my egg, the last thing that I wanted to hear about was my name. I was hungry and I was cold, so I wanted food and warmth right away. I could no longer turn to my egg to sustain me, so I had to find these things elsewhere. But on top of my basic necessities, I was overwhelmed with a sense of confusion. The only thing recognizable to me was voices, since I could hear them inside the egg. The other pokémon surrounding me were foreign, and so were my surroundings. Where was I? Was I supposed to be where I already was, or was some other place waiting for me? Did I hatch too soon, too late?

    Despite my needs, Annie did not feed me or hold me or tell me where I was. Again, I was informed that the first thing she did was tell me my name.

    “Rennio. Your name is Rennio,” she said. She beamed at me, along with the rest of her pokémon, all of which were foreign to me. They were whispering amongst themselves, however—or making fun of me, of course—so I assumed they must have known me somehow. I didn’t know what their names were, so I just stared at them. Their words meant nothing to me.

    “Renee was my littlest sister’s name, and the end of your name makes it sound a little more boyish. It’s perfect for my new baby pokémon!” she said ecstatically.

    At first, I couldn’t understand. But as Ezrem told me the story once when he felt like teasing me, I began to comprehend the situation’s significance. One of the first things a baby does when it’s born is try to figure out if the world is a safe place. Is the world trustworthy? Are people trustworthy? Annie didn’t feed me or hold me or tell me I could feel safe, but giving me a name and explaining its origin provided me with a sense of relief. That was her way of telling me that she was trustworthy. She knew I existed, and she loved and valued my existence enough to give me an identity.

    My hunger and desire for warmth waited, and that was fine. I didn’t know much of anything at the time, but I felt safe here. And that was enough.

    Rennio.

    *

    “Rennio!”

    I heard her cry my name as soon as I started dashing in the opposite direction. I knew it then, I knew I should have stayed. But what else could I do? What was more important, her existence or my existence? Ezrem had told me so many times, so many times: I was the last of my species. If I were to die, there would never be another elekid or electabuzz or electivire.

    This belief of almost being extinct had frozen my very being many times in the past. Because of this fear, I was unable to participate in battles, since there was always the possibility being hurt beyond repair. Because of this fear, death consumed my thoughts even in the safest of situations. Because of this fear, it was my goal in life to just be able to survive or create another one of my species.

    But I was also able to understand the significance of oneself and others because of this fear. I knew that without my trainer, I could not have come as far I had. She was one who had nurtured me from the very start, and it was extremely important for me to repay my debt to her somehow. In the old days, I would usually just continue to be her baby pokémon, since that’s what she wanted, that was what she was content with. Occasionally I’d have to be with her when she cried, and I’d cheer her on in battles from the sidelines…

    But because of this fear, I also ran away from my trainer when she needed me most.

    I ran past the tree branches that fell to the ground, trying to block my escape. My legs were short and, due to the quick pace that I was running at, started to ache soon after my dash. Despite this, I kept on going, and I didn’t dare to look back, knowing that I’d have more regrets if I did.

    To be honest, I had no idea where I was going, or even if I was truly saving myself. I just knew that standing still was not the answer unless I wanted death to come, which I certainly didn’t.

    I ran. The fire was closer than ever before now, and smoke was starting to invade my lungs every time I tried to inhale. My body tried to stop itself a few times so I could cough, but I wouldn’t have any of it. I kept trudging forward despite myself, wavering from side to side as I did. Because of this, I got scorched by the fire a bit, and bumped into a few trees that were simply waiting to be devoured. I couldn’t see where I was going at all.

    Moments like these are recalled as blurs because everything looks the same, no matter how you think of it. There were flames everywhere I looked, I was scared no matter where I was, and I alone everywhere I ended up. So I have no idea how I made it to the end of the forest, the opposite side from where we entered. All I knew was that I must have been running an awfully long time with an awfully large stroke of luck following shortly behind. All I knew was that my startled eyes and burnt body and shrieking self must have alerted the guards at the building, because they soon ran into the forest themselves and put out the fire.

    They scoured the entire forest from top to bottom. It wasn’t hard, given the destruction. But in the end, only Ezrem and I were found. Annie and the others were nowhere to be seen.

    *

    A game.

    Ring around the rosie, she called it.

    The goal was to make yourself dizzy by spinning in a circle with other people in the group, ones you were holding hands with. Then, at the end, you were all supposed to fall together, laughing.

    But she said—ashes, ashes.

    She said she’d never let me fall, no matter what.

    It was just a game. A kid’s game, one she didn’t expect me to understand.

    I knew what she meant, deep down.

    *

    She left through ashes; I fell without laughing.

    And remembering hurts.

    I’m done.

    *

    But I can at least remember Ezrem without pain engulfing me. Ezrem, who has always been by my side. Even when he was teasing me, I knew that he wouldn’t betray me for anything. And now that it was just the two of us, our bond was that much stronger.

    I often wondered what would have happened had he passed away in the fire with everyone else. With me being far too dependent on others, I can’t imagine that things would have gone well. I may have been crying forever, I may have gotten tangled up with a bad trainer, I may have gone off to die somewhere by myself due to some misfortune that I didn’t see coming…

    Death.

    Yes, Ezrem and Annie taught me all about death and the ephemeral thing that is life. I forgave him, as long as he stayed by my side.

    And he did stay by my side. He explained to me his desire to return home, and it made perfect sense to me, given our situation. Who wouldn’t want to go home after a long, grueling journey? He said he’d take me with him since I had nowhere else to go, and I was more than happy to oblige. His plan involved getting a new trainer, which also made sense to me, since there was no way for us to know the layout of the regions. To find a new trainer, we also agreed to stay in the forest. Not only had we learned that it was usually full of new trainers whose potential we could judge, there was always the hope in the back of our minds that said Annie would come back for us someday, somehow.

    So we remained where we were, avoiding the burned side of the forest as well as we could. We stayed near the entrance, the one full of better memories, better times, which seemed so far away now. Ezrem taught me which berries in the forest were good for eating after I explained that the thought of killing a pokémon for food was unacceptable to me. Then it became my job to retrieve our food and water while Ezrem stayed near the entrance and watched for trainers. Warmth was an afterthought; we never made fires.

    I’d come back with berries every day, and I’d stare at him expectedly. He always knew that my gaze asked the same question: had he found anyone with potential? Because we don’t want just anybody.

    He’d always look at me sadly, shaking his head.

    “Someday, but not today,” he’d say.

    *

    One day, I returned with berries and simply told Ezrem, “I’m scared.”

    He motioned for me to open my hands and dug his beak into the pile. Halfway through, he pulled back, finally realizing that I had said something.

    “Scared of what?”

    I sighed. If anyone should know what I’m scared of, it should be Ezrem. “What if I die before I’m able to keep my species from going extinct?” I asked.

    “Well,” Ezrem said, swallowing though he had no berry in his mouth, “you just can’t think like that, okay?”

    “Why not? It’s entirely possible.”

    “If you let the fear consume you, you are destined to fail!”

    “I suppose.” I paused. He was probably waiting for me to say something more, but I couldn’t think of anything. I stared at the berries, and then said awkwardly, “Will you… feed me?”

    “Feed you?” Ezrem stared at me, perplexed. “Rennio, you’re not a baby anymore!”

    “She used to feed me. Annie did.”

    Ezrem snickered, but I knew that he was just hiding the pain that came with me saying her name. He dug his beak into my hands again, pulling back and taking a berry from my hand. He leaned in toward me, seemingly handing it to me, but he moved back again and chewed it himself. I stood there, disappointed, but it wasn’t like I wasn’t expecting it.

    “Listen, Rennio!” he said after he finished the berry. “I’ll tell you what. You need more confidence. I want to teach you a catchphrase that you can have.”

    “A catchphrase?” I said, dumbfounded.

    “A catchphrase. Every time you battle a pokémon, you must say you have come back to the world! Every time you come back from getting food and water, you must say you have come back to the world. As time goes on you’ll say it in more and more situations. This will let everyone around you, including yourself, know that you are, indeed, alive, and that the elekid line lives on. Do you understand?”

    “I-I think so,” I said, shifting my feet uncomfortably. “The idea just seems silly to me.”

    “It may be silly, but babies do silly things. Now, if you want me to feed you like Annie used to, say it!”

    I hesitated. I did need more confidence, but Ezrem’s solution was just words. What power did words have? They didn’t magically make me reproduce or cause elekid eggs to start lying around everywhere. They were just there to boost my ego, nothing more.

    “Say it!” Ezrem said impatiently.

    “I don’t know…”

    “Then I’m not feeding you.”

    And not only did I need more confidence, I needed Annie. As comforting as he was, Ezrem just didn’t meet all my needs. If I could have just this, I would feel much, much better, and be able to move on for just a little while longer.

    “Fine,” I said, sighing. “I have come back to the world.”

    “Say your name and say it loudly, or no one will know who you are!”

    “Rennio has come back to the world!”

    Ezrem smiled. “Yes, yes you have,” he said, taking the berries from me.

    *

    An unknown amount of time passed before the day we found Sai, before I felt like I really had returned to the world.

    When I came back from searching for berries and shouting my silly catchphrase, I was expecting to find Ezrem still hiding behind bushes, watching. When I saw that instead, he was actually interacting with a trainer, I knew that something special was happening. Ezrem had finally found and picked someone!

    I wasn’t expecting, however, to be attacked by another pokémon. And I wasn’t expecting Ezrem to get rejected, and for me to be welcomed with open arms. And I wasn’t expecting for the new trainer to try to take my name away.

    Overall, I was overcome with mixed emotions. I knew that a trainer battling wild pokémon to capture them was fairly ordinary, but it had just never happened to me, so I wasn’t prepared in the slightest. The idea to defend myself hadn’t come to me; I let Ezrem do all the work to protect me, as usual. And when he was rejected despite his noble actions, I thought about unfair it was to him—after all his hard work, he had finally come to a decision only to be shut down. My heart ached for him, but there was nothing I could think of that would help him except to go along with Sai like he requested.

    And that’s exactly what I did. I trusted Ezrem’s judgment, his reasoning. Even after Sai told me I had no name, I decided that he was an ideal trainer. I was okay with not having a name in his eyes as long as I knew my own true self, and as long as Ezrem knew who I was, too. I would continue to identify myself the way Annie identified me, so that her memory could live on.

    It was the least I could do for her.

    *

    And just like that, Ezrem and I found ourselves making our way to Goldenrod City for the second time. This time was, of course, much different. We were with different pokémon, a different trainer… We were with complete strangers. The air was slightly tenser, for some reason I could not decipher just by looking at or making small talk with the strangers. Perhaps they had just gone through some ordeal, too, though I could not imagine anything as bad as our story.

    The atmosphere was also much quieter. With Annie, we were always talking about something or another. Since she could understand us after being with us for such a long time, there was never a dull moment with her. I decided, then, to try to get to know my new teammates, my new trainer.

    “Why don’t you guys tell us something about yourselves?” I said, talking to anyone who was willing to listen. I motioned over to Ezrem, making sure to include him in the conversations, too.

    The three pokémon introduced themselves as Senori, Kuiora, and Atis. The names would be difficult to remember, but I’m sure I would learn them in time. I supposed that meant that he still thought I had no name, but he didn’t say anything in protest.

    “Another trainer that gives their pokémon funny names!” Ezrem cried, keeping up with the rest of the group, just as he had promised me. I looked up at Sai, and noticed that he was still ignoring Ezrem—even more so, as he wouldn’t so much as glance at the bird.

    “I do not have a funny name, thank you very much. I think it’s quite pretty,” Kuiora said, putting her small hands on her hips and glaring at Ezrem.

    “It’s hardly what I’d call pretty.”

    “You just say that because you’re a boy, and things aren’t pretty to you,” Kuiora retorted.

    “I don’t mind mine,” said Senori while the other two bickered. “I had a different one before, but I think I like this one better.”

    “You had a name before? What was it?” I asked, suddenly curious. So Sai had forced Senori to get a new name, but not me? He didn’t make any sense to me so far, but I still respected him.

    “It doesn’t matter now. It was a long time ago,” Senori replied, smiling softly.

    “Oh.” I decided not to press him. “What about you, Atis?” I asked, trying to include him, too, since he hadn’t said much yet.

    “I didn’t have a name before…” he said shyly, keeping his head lowered toward the ground.

    “Sai,” I said, noticing our trainer hadn’t said much, either, despite being able to understand us, “where do you get your names for us, then?”

    “I… I knew some people with the same names. I don’t know many other names or anything, so I use them,” Sai said, looking down at me. He tried to smile but failed, as if he were recalling some painful memory. His answer seemed simple yet weird in my eyes for some reason I couldn’t explain, so I didn’t press him, either. Yes, there certainly was some pain surrounding this group, pain I didn’t know about yet. I was sure it was just another thing I’d learn in time.

    If it were up to me, suffering wouldn’t exist. But it’s part of what makes us who we are, and personally, I was glad to find others who had experienced pain just like I had. So far, my journey with our new trainer seemed hopeful; it seemed like it would be a journey toward healing and peace.

    I smiled at Sai. When it looked like he didn’t know how to respond, I said, “It was nice to meet you.”

    “It was nice to have met you, too…” said Sai, offering a slight smile back.

    “I had a trainer once before,” I said rather impulsively, catching myself off guard since I hadn’t talked about Annie to anyone except Ezrem. “She was really nice.”

    “Yeah? Maybe she can travel with us sometime if we run into her,” Sai said, suddenly appearing hopeful and excited. I didn’t blame him, I really didn’t—Annie would be a great traveling companion if she were alive—but his words stung.

    “She won’t be able to. She passed away a while ago,” I said, now looking down at the ground.

    “Oh. Well, it looks like it’ll just be me and my pokémon, then… The trainer back there and his sister didn’t want to travel with me, either,” he said sadly, his eagerness fading. I let the conversation go once more, regretting bringing it up. I made a mental note to myself, saying that I would have to inquire and learn more about these little things that I let go now, but was still curious about.

    We kept walking from there, making more small talk about things that were less significant to me. I noticed that Kuiora kept quite close to Ezrem, probably because she still thought he was a legendary pokémon for some reason or another. I thought it was amusing and chuckled at him a few times, only to have him glare at me and shut me up rather quickly.

    Occasionally, a wild pokémon would attack and I would get to see my new teammates battle. While they seemed somewhat strong, I knew that they had a long way to go compared to me and Ezrem. I vaguely wondered how impressed Sai would be once he battled with us (assuming he’d eventually warm up to Ezrem and want him on the team), but I was also overly pleased with the fact that he didn’t ask me to fight even once. A fear of battling accompanied my fear of death and injury, so I didn’t want to fight if I could help it. Annie never made me do anything I didn’t want to, but with Sai, it could have been different. I supposed I would have to wait and see.

    I noticed that Sai fed us plenty of food and made sure we were satisfied with a place to sleep. A few peaceful nights passed before we neared the end of the forest. Given mine and Ezrem’s past, I was also relieved about how our trek through Ilex Forest was rather uneventful. The only thing that particularly stood out to me was the damaged areas of the forest. They brought back haunting memories, mixed feelings, and an overwhelming desire to leave. Luckily, that’s exactly what we were going to do, and soon, I knew, since I recognized the forest’s exit. When we were close enough, I turned one final time to the destruction that caused me so much anguish, and said good-bye. I pretended to be walking beside Annie as I believed I was returning to the world, to our journey, starting with Goldenrod City.
    Last edited by diamondpearl876; 12th November 2012 at 11:59 PM.

    | survival project |
    | this trainer is different. everyone knows it, but no one can explain it. |
    | complete |


    | flying in the dark |
    | he's hiding something. she just doesn't know it. |
    | on hiatus|


    | love and other nightmares |
    | limited time, limited abilities. kyurem says she can be cured in exchange for saving those who need saving. |
    | chapter 3 released 11/22/14 |


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