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Thread: The Silence Between Us [One Shot]

  1. #1
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    Default The Silence Between Us [One Shot] [PG] [FerrisWheel Shipping]

    There He Was.

    Just Sitting There. His Green hair flowing slightly in the gentle warm breeze and his sneakers sitting beside him. He was kicking his feet slightly in the water. He must've been cooling off from the heat.

    I swallowed. I Couldn't Deny I Felt Something For Him anymore because my heart was racing, my palms where sweating and my knees where weak. I didn't have time to think about what I'd say, I'd have to catch him before he got up and left. Otherwise I'd spend more valuable time searching for him. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out. I forced myself to walk toward him. When I reached him he didn't flinch or move. He stood quiet and wordless but I knew he was aware of my presence.

    "I. .Hi N" I finally uttered out

    I felt stupid, Here I had been searching for him for months, hungry for him to answer my question's, hungry for him in general and all I could think to say was "HI"?!

    He didn't respond instead he tensed up and turned to look up at me slowly. He was akward. Painfully Akward, but I was craving that akwardness and I was relieved to see he hadn't changed. His greyish eyes searching mine for answer's. Why I was there or how I even found him. I didn't quite know how to respond myself.

    "I-I Came looking for you N. . .I-Uhm. . wantend to see you again." I mumbled out avoiding his eye contact.

    He moved over slightly indicating one of two things, that he didn't want to be near me or that I should sit. I racked my mind for an answer and finally I gave up, untied my boots, took my socks off and sat on the banks with him. Even the water was slightly warmer then normal. I quietly wondered, while I stared out at the clear water, if nature knew and could reflect how you were feeling for another person. Every time I saw N I grew flushed and warm. Oddly enough today the temperature was soaring at 105.

    The sound of his voice startled me out of my thoughts.

    "Do you know what my name stands for?" He asked quietly and quickly

    He always spoke too fast It took me a moment to process it.

    "No N, What does it mean?" I asked back

    "Nothing" He said blinking slowly

    "You can tell me N, Dont Be Shy" I responded thinking he had told me to drop my question.

    "No, Touko. . N stand's for Nothing" He mumbled quickly

    For a moment I thought I hadn't heard him right. When It registered that I had. I wantend to weep. His "Father" had screwed him over royally. I held back my tears and in a sudden wave of sympathy I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him.

    "You are so much more then Nothing N! Please don't think that! I'm So sorry N! I am so Sorry!" I couldn't control my tears anymore they flowed freely.

    Suddenly He pulled away, grasped my face in his hands and kissed me.

    In those few moments I didn't cry, I didn't have the urge to anymore. I didn't struggle, I didn't do anything but wrap my arms around his waist and let him do it.

    Then just as suddenly as he had kissed me he pulled away.

    "You make me feel strange, I don't understand what your doing to me. You make my heart race and I think more highly of you then other people. I don't even feel that way for pokemon. You are the first. . ." He stopped suddenly realizing he was saying things he didn't even understand himself.

    "N.." I manged to squeak out.

    He stood up quickly putting on his hat and grabbing his sneakers. He pulled a pokeball out from his pants pocket and Tossed it in the air. A Dragonite appeared. He jumped on it's back and looking back at me he unhooked the cube on his pants pocket and tossed it to me.

    There was nothing but the Silence between us.

    And With one final heart twisting look he flew off.

    I stood there maybe twenty minutes with that cube going over those brief few moments between us. The last look in his eyes that had said so much. Looking down at that cube I knew that even if he didn't understand what he wantend, I did.
    Chase him down and help to understand what he was feeling was normal and real and that I returned the feeling. I had to.

    I grabbed my boots and hurried to put them on, the sun had finally set leaving a thick darkness surrounding me. Tear's continued down my face and I hurriedly wiped them. As soon as I laced my boots up I took off through the brush and trees in the same direction he had. I didn't want to fly on my Staraptor for fear It would confirm he was already long gone.

    I kept running long after My lungs screamed for air and my legs threated to give out.

    Every time I felt the cube hit against my bare thigh I remembered what my goal was. It was nearly morning before I gave up to collapse.

    I knew he was somewhere in the distance, and I knew I'd find him again. I fumbled with the cube. Math told us that you could always find X. In my case I knew that I'd always be able to find N.
    Last edited by PalmerDawn; 19th February 2012 at 4:46 AM.

  2. #2
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    There were A LOT of spelling and grammar mistakes, too many for me to correct for you.

    As for the fic, it was okay.
    I thought the scene was pretty good but I wish there would have been more of a background story. I wanted to know why the person was there to confront N and about what. It also seemed a little rushed :/ I liked the beginning more than the end, but I thought the last line was very cute.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by strawberries View Post
    There were A LOT of spelling and grammar mistakes, too many for me to correct for you.

    As for the fic, it was okay.
    I thought the scene was pretty good but I wish there would have been more of a background story. I wanted to know why the person was there to confront N and about what. It also seemed a little rushed :/ I liked the beginning more than the end, but I thought the last line was very cute.
    It was rushed wasn't it? >__< I Had this idea in my head & I Wantend to hurry and get it out. I honestly didn't know WHY I Wantend Touko To confront N, In my mind all I knew was that N Had Left Her with unanswered questions and mixed feelings. Im sorry my grammar is WAY Off, I love English but never bothered to listen when my teachers spoke about Grammer (I was already daydreaming up stories by then lol) next time I write a one shot I'll try & include more detail & background story. As well as honestly try & fix the grammar I've so mercilessly slaughtered. Lol #>__<
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  4. #4
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    I think you've done a good job on this because I can see that you've put a lot of effort into this. I think you can work on some of your punctuation, which I need to do as well. I saw there things such as full stops and commas missing. Other than that it had a good story line, I would have liked to have seem some more character development but for a one shot this is okay.


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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by C.Gholy View Post
    I think you've done a good job on this because I can see that you've put a lot of effort into this. I think you can work on some of your punctuation, which I need to do as well. I saw there things such as full stops and commas missing. Other than that it had a good story line, I would have liked to have seem some more character development but for a one shot this is okay.
    Thank you! I will try harder to develop more background and storyline. Part of the reason I left so many gaps was because I myself didn't know what happened between them that was the way the story flowed in. I will try harder on my punctuation I realize I do need a lot of work. #>___< I will try though!

    Thanks again
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