Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Overthrown

**Knightfall** · 25th February 2012, 5:39 AM

Hello, I’m a relatively new face in the fan fiction world, and this is my first attempt at a story.
I’ve been working on it for a while now, and there will be many rookie mistakes on my part, but those can and will be ironed out as I get more practice.

Rated PG-13 for violence in later chapters.

Disclaimer: I own nothing concerning Pokemon, or Pokemon Mystery Dungeon.
That honor resides with Nintendo and others.

I do however own this story, the plotline and the characters in it. Characters and other things from this story are not to be used anywhere without my expressed permission.
Thanks for reading all that.

I would appreciate reviews, constructive criticism, and advice to improve the quality of this fic.

Let’s get started.

Chapter list:
Spoiler:- Chapter list:

PM List:
Spoiler:- PM List:

Now, without further delay I present to you
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Overthrown

http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/...wnTCGFade2.png

Chapter 0.5: System Failure

"A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox, they would understand the dilemma."
Marlene Dietrich

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
A young man in a white lab coat stood over a desk typing seemingly random numbers into the sleek computer that sat on it, inputting the necessary codes needed to cheat death.

He looked up from his work and out of a conveniently placed window in the rock wall to peer into the chamber below.
Another scientist, this one older and balding, was dashing about the inner perimeter of the concrete walled chamber.
He was connecting the last few wires that were chaotically laced from the ebbing power supply to a strange metal ring embedded in the wall that made it seem like a tunnel; a tunnel full of live high-voltage energy conductors and spinning metal gears that is.

Large rectangular computer monitors were placed at nearly every open space available, their screens occasionally flickering to life, and then returning to a monotonous black. The lab light fixtures mounted on the walls and ceiling where forced from the brilliance of an artificial sun down to a dull orange due to lack of power.

A deep rumble from under their feet shook the entire facility, and caused both men to pause their actions. Concrete dust gently floated from the ceiling like a grey mist, coating both scientists’ lab coats with a layer of the chalky grey substance.
The man from the lower room spoke, the advanced communication system ensuring that both men could hear each other, even through meters of concrete.

“Are you certain we should have stayed? I should have left with the others when the evacuation order went out, not fiddle with that machine!” the older man yelled as he pointed to the metal device behind him.

The man in the upper room sighed, as he mopped the sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his lab coat.

“I’m not sure of anything anymore, Henry. I can’t tell if anything will work. But I do know one thing; I will do the duty I was charged with. The duty we were both given by the board,”
he spoke to his comrade, trying to seal off the other man’s feeling of doubt with a heavy layer of guilt.

The older man, Henry, returned his attention to the amateur job we was doing with the set of wires that came out of the tunnel-like machine.
This was a job for an electrician, not a scientist, Henry thought to himself.

“It’s true that we were given orders to watch over the boy, but we also have contingency orders that say that in case of a catastrophic situation-and this is one- the complete evacuation of company personal and important data is to be given first priority over the welfare of others.”
He paused to see if the man he was talking to in the upper deck was paying attention; he was barely.

“Even over the life of the president’s kid, Doug. We’re both defying direct orders by staying here, and I know that you heard the alarm, so you can’t use that excuse.”

He then looked over to the center of the concrete walled chamber where on a metal lab table laid a boy of about fifteen with brown hair that was cut short nearly military style; he was unconscious, most likely from the operation earlier.
He was wearing a light blue T-shirt with a single circular hole torn through the center of it in the lower right torso; a dried dark red stain blossomed from around the tear in the fabric.

A grim reminder of the violent coup d'état that had taken place only a few hours before.
Doug thought inwardly, he wasn't a traitor, the Republic was, not them. Now those same traitors had succeeded in destroying their refuge- the sabotaged reactors would overheat any minute now.

“I’m not going to stand aside and let him die like the others. I have the ability to ensure his survival, but if we leave then we seal his fate. Please Henry, I need your help, we don’t have much time left,” Doug said as he continued typing.

The building rocked again, small pieces of concrete fell from the ceiling along with the powder. A spider web of creaks spun its way across the entirety of the roof and the floor.
Henry moved to one of the flickering computer screens beside him.
The screen flickered to life to show six vertical cylinder-like items in a row; three of the six were flashing light red.
The screen then dissolved into static.

“Turbine numbers two, three and six are down, and four has almost reached capacity.” He broke his analysis of the flickering screen.

Henry looked up to the observation deck once more pleading with the younger scientist, “Doug. We have to leave. Now. If you won’t go, then I will leave without you. I swear I will.”

The man at the receiving end of the plea exhaled, “Henry, if you wanted to leave, you would have left with the others when the alarm first went off. Is the device connected?”

Henry groaned in frustration, the only thing keeping him from throttling his fellow researcher was the thought of what “murder” would look like on his employee records. Rogue Industries was merciless when it came to imperfection in its staff.

“Henry, we’re working on a time limit. A very explosive time limit I might add,” Doug chided the man, but the seriousness of the situation couldn’t be masked.

Henry nearly lost it, but he forced himself to take a deep breath before allowing his mouth to speak.

“Yes, everything is connected to the best of my ability. I even managed to patch it into the room’s emergency reserve power grid, are you happy now? Can we please just go through with your scheme and then get out of here?” Henry promised himself right then and there that he would see the surface world again before he died. He shook away the images of his wife's sobbing at his demise.

“Great. Now I can get the program started, hopefully it will work even if the main network is offline. Get in here before I initiate it.” Doug announced as a small metal door slid open in the wall opposite the tunnel device and the teen on the table.

Doug continued clicking away at the keys when Henry appeared in the room from the small concrete staircase which connected the two. The building shook once more, bringing a cascade of concrete dust and small pebbles of the stuff to fall in both rooms.
Henry watched over Doug’s shoulder, trying not to breathe in the dust as the scientist started up the computer program that ran the experiment.
The screen showed a symbol of a metal gear with a hammer and sword crossed over it like an “X”. Then the picture was replaced with white words on a black pixilated background.

Rogue Industries Employee Login: Accessing….
Load Completed/ Error 354: Local Network Connection Offline...
WDES/ 67564=2-453?:\674
01000101011110000110100101101100011001010010110000 10000001101001011101000010000001110100011000010110 10110110010101110011001000000111100101101111011101 01011100100010000001101101011010010110111001100100 00101110001011100010111001100001011001110110000101 10100101101110///456282810029
Continue? Yes/No.
“You do realize that this very experiment has been attempted before, right? And that every time it failed…miserably.” Henry reminded Doug as he simply shrugged off the comment and kept on typing.

The building shook again, being twenty floors underground didn’t make the situation any better; in fact, it only seemed to get worse as every rumble was akin to an earthquake.
The computer screens flickered slightly.
Yes
Processing Error 23: Opening Login. Please Wait…
0100010101111000011010010110110001100101
Login Page Successfully Loaded.
Username: DougStrickland1498
Employee Number: 1498
Company Issued Password: **** *******
01001001011101000010000001110100011000010110101101 10010101110011001000000111100101101111011101010111 00100010000001101101011010010110111001100100
A deep rumble caused the chamber to vibrate for a moment. Several of the other monitors in the upper chamber started flashing red accompanied by an alarm siren.

[URL#3674538DFS9485KFLD0948]
Processing……… Completed.
(RogueIndustries.3246/ Test/ Sub-level Router?# = 3346)
Welcome To Rogue Industries Research Facility Employee Network.

Warning: Access Limited. Server Connections Have Been Interfered With.

Code 3: Main Network System Experiencing Difficulties.
(Error3=EvacMandValid:Turbine#1-6NotResponding)

Warning: Nuclear Turbines Maximum Heat Capacity Reached. Please Engage Emergency Emissions Exhaust Vents- Please Note That Rogue Industries Mainframe Viral Announcement System’s Previous Use Of Alliteration Is Entirely Coincidental. 01100001011001110110000101101001011011100010111000 10111000101110
[/r450-security system compromised@#=]

Initiate Trial Experiment Number 501?
01011001011011110111010100100000011001110110111101 11010000100000011100110111010101100011011010110110 01010111001001110011001000000110110001110101011000 1101101011
Yes/No: Yes.
“Doug, I was here when they first created that machine. I had to modify the personal files so they wouldn’t show all the test subjects that were disintegrated by the energy blasts. I can personally tell you that whoever enters that machine will die.” Doug continued typing oblivious to Henry’s protests.

[Encoding Complete/ 4536277728830WWEDSCSD
01001000011000010111011001100101001000000111100101 10111101110101001000000110011101101001011101100110 01010110111000100000011101010111000000111111

“Why do you think it will work when so many others have failed?”
Henry scolded the man on the computer. Doug continued typing, oblivious to Henry’s commentary.

The building rumbled again, shaking the underground portion of the Rogue Industries Research Facility.

Reboot Complete: Commence Experiment Number: 501/D.T.T/325…Yes/No
“How are you going to make this different than all the others? What reason do you have to think that this time the device will work correctly?” Henry desperately asked as Doug hit the “Yes” option.

Trial Number 277 Initiating….
01000100011011110110010101110011001000000110100101 11010000100000011001100110010101100101011011000010 00000110110001101001011010110110010100100000011000 01001000000111010001110010011010010110000101101100 00111111

Henry glanced at the crumbling ceiling every few seconds. As he watched Doug select another selection on the start-up screen, pebble-sized debris clinked against the metal machines down below. The boy on the lab table in the testing chamber remained unconscious, oblivious to the destruction that whirled around him.

Trial Options- Safety- Fail Safes- Test Subject Retrieval System

Disengage Selected Safety Option? Yes/No…

Yes
Please Confirm Selection: Yes/No…

Yes 01000100011011110110010101110011001000000110100101 11010000100000011101000111001001101111011101010110 00100110110001100101001000000111100101101111011101 01011100100010000001101101011010010110111001100100 00101100

Henry’s eyes widened in disbelief, “You can’t be serious. Disabling that is asking for death.” He warned as he looked toward the boy down below.

Warning: Any Testing Protocol Modification Must Be Approved By An Authorized Rogue Industries Employee. Please Wait Until A Supervisor Arrives Before Continuing.

Testing Procedure Bypass Code Required:
[Ovrde#5647>pp345+90RT]
Doug backed away from the computer station and wordlessly motioned for Henry to input the required code.

Henry scoffed, “Why would I change the protocol? You are the one trying to save that boy-who we could have easily left here and evacuated with the others! And now you want to deactivate the one testing factor that just might keep him alive when this trail fails? I won’t do it!”

“Henry, how many test subjects actually survived this experiment?” He continued without waiting for a response from the older scientist.

“I already know the answer. None. And all of them had that failsafe option activated, didn’t they?” Doug answered as the older scientist quickly realized that what he said was true.

“It’s time that we try something different. Now put in the code.” He asked as a chunk of ceiling fell in between the two bickering scientists, slamming into the crumbling floor with a thud.

Henry silenced his protest when he saw the murderous look in Doug’s eyes, and the clearly decreasing time limit for the facility and his life. He quickly shoved Doug to the side and bent over the flickering monitor.

Testing Procedure Override Code Required: **********
[Ovrde#5647>pp345+90RT]
Processing…..Internal Override Complete.
27364011101000110100001100101001000000111011101100 00101111001001000000111100101101111011101010010000 00111010001110010011011110111010101100010011011000 11001010010000001101101011010010110111001100101001 11111

“Commencing Testing With Modified Procedure:” The automated announcement system’s voice boomed above the blaring alarms and screeching metal and concrete.

“In 3..

2…

1…”
A rumble of machinery started then abruptly faded. Red flashing alarm lights appeared from the roof of the lab.

“Warning: Power Level Insufficient To Begin Experiment. Please Repair Damaged Rogue Industries Electricity Supply Cables Or Activate An Approved Rogue Industries Alternative Power Source Power Generator.
Emergency Operational Code Number: 332.”
The automated announcement system warned as the facility entered its final stage of collapse.

Doug didn’t even have to consult the computer for the problem. He dashed over to the wall on the other side of the observation deck where other pieces of computers and wiring crisscrossed the wall.
He reached a large metal lever, and quickly pulled it into a down position.
The entire room shuddered, a few of the computers sparked with the sudden influx of reserve power.
Henry watched as the computer screen automatically registered the addition of power.

Power Levels Returning To Optimal Operational Conditions. Experiment Can Now Be Initiated.
01001111011010000010000001111001011011110111010100 10000001101101011001010110000101101110011101000010 00000111001101101111001000000110110101110101011000 1101101000
>>>>>>Experiment Will Commence In Five Seconds<<<<<<

01001000011000010111011001100101001000000111100101 10111101110101001000000110011101101001011101100110 01010110111000100000011101010111000000111111
>>>>Four Seconds<<<<
01000001011100100110010100100000011110010110111101 11010100100000011010100111010101110011011101000010 00000111010001101000011010010110111001101011011010 01011011100110011100100000011101000110111101101111 001000000110011001100001011100110111010000101100

Doug watched with baited breath as the inside of the machine started to hum as every last volt of available power was fed to the metal monster.

>>>>Three Seconds<<<<<<
01111001011011110111010100100111011100100110010100 10000001101100011010010110101101100101001000000110 11010110000101110010011000100110110001100101011100 11001000000110111101101110001000000110011101101100 01100001011100110111001100111111

“Are you absolutely certain that this is what he would want?” Henry inquired as the ceiling released another rain of dust.

>>>>Two Seconds<<<<
01010110011010010110110001101001011001100111100100 101110001011100010111000101110

“No I’m not, but even if this doesn’t work,” He stopped to try and look through the ceiling, to the outside world.
“Death might be a better alternative then letting him return to the surface. They won’t be able to find him wherever he ends up.” Doug answered as the floor cracked visibly underneath their feet.

Doug whispered a prayer to anyone who was listening that the floor would hold just a little longer.

>>>>One Second<<<<0100010001101111011011100010011101110100 00100000011001010111011001100101011011100010000001 11010001110010011110010010111000101110001011100101 01100110100101101100011010010110011001111001

“Commencing R.I Experiment Number: 501/D.T.T/325. In Case The Energy Emissions Accidentally Causes An Explosion Or Somehow Rips A Inter-Dimensional Rift In The Fabric Of Space Itself: Please Evacuate Testing And Observation Chambers And Hope For The Best. If You Are Unable To Evacuate Due To A Structural Malfunction Or Other Reactor Meltdown Related Cause: Do Not Panic, Pray To Your Desired Deity For Salvation, And Calmly Accept Your Impending Doom.” The system warned one final time as the metal tunnel sparked with electricity and its many inner gears and components activated.

A bright white light started to glow from the interior of the tunnel; several of the computer monitors that surrounded the machine sparked dangerously.

>>>>>Experiment Online<<<<<<01000100011011110110111000100111011101 00001000000110010101110110011001010110111000100000 011101000111001001111001

The white light in the tunnel grew brighter as the many gears spun around with ungodly speed creating a high pitched whirring noise as the energy charged. The sterile bright lab light fixtures flickered as their limited power was sapped by the device.

The whirring noise projected itself over the rumbling and groans of the facility’s death throws. The brightness of the circular opening nearly blinded Doug as he strained to see what was happening.

Meanwhile, Henry was looking at the status of the trial on the monitor, and immediately knew what to do when he saw the warning sign.

Error 34765/b/b’’g/b’’h’’//;]’[][‘[‘;: Fatal- ERRORRRREDRFESSEDCGT!@#!@((09437269440]]01011001011011110111010100100000011001110110111101 11010000100000011100110111010101100011011010110110 01010111001001110011001000000110110001110101011000 1101101011

“Transfer CompleteBZZZZZZZRTDDT ErrorErrorErrorError. SSSSSSSSELF TESt FaiLUReeee.” The system announced through its garbled voice

Henry looked through the window at the growing intense light; the whirring sound was almost at deafening levels. He squinted to try and get one last look of the boy they were doing all this for.
He looked down at the flickering screen once more.

>>>>>>FATAL System Error: PLEASE CONTACT A ROGUE INDUSTIRES EXPERIMENT SUPERVISORIMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!25344<<<<<<
01001000011000010111011001100101001000000111100101 10111101110101001000000110011101101001011101100110 01010110111000100000011101010111000000111111
With that message, Henry turned toward Doug, who was still entranced at the bright time bomb. Without warning Henry tackled the other scientist to the ground.

“Get down! Now!” Henry yelled as he rolled off of Doug, and flattened himself against the crumbling floor.

Then a roar louder then anything either of the men had ever heard quickly drowned out the sounds of falling building foundations.

The observation windows were flooded with an overwhelming amount of the bright light, everything was painted as blinding stark white.

The glass in the windows blew apart, unable to take the energy pulses. Shimmering shards of window rained down from above.

The resulting explosion threatened to shake the room to pieces, but-miraculously- it stayed intact, for the moment.

Doug shakily climbed to his feet, Henry right behind him. The floor was no longer stable; total collapse was nearing.

The younger scientist slowly peered over the shattered window into the ruined room below. The metal portal was an inferno, flames belched from the interior of the metal device. Electricity sparked from the burnt monitors and melted wires.

Doug coughed from the smoke and fumes rising from the burning room below, the smell of burning flooded the upper chamber filling his lungs with the stinging substances.

Doug squinted at the center of the furnace where the table and the boy once existed.
His eyes widened in horror as he saw one half of the twisted remains of the metal table embedded in the concrete wall, and the other half nowhere to be found. The several computer monitors that decorated the room where either smashed and on fire, or no where to be found at all.

No, Doug thought, it didn’t work. I’ve… failed.

Despair had almost overwhelmed him when Henry yelled for his attention through the cloth he was holding to his mouth.
The senior scientist pointed at the blackened computer screen beneath the observation window. Struggling to keep his balance, he hobbled over to the desk.

There on the ash covered screen read the words no Rogue Industries scientist ever expected to see:

Experiment Number 501/D.T.T/325, Trial Number: 227 […///…]
Result: Success. Test Subject Was Successfully Transported Via The D.T.T Device. Transmitting Data….. Complete.01000100011011110110010101110011001000000 11010010111010000100000011001100110010101100101011 01100001000000110110001101001011010110110010100100 00001100001001000000111010001110010011010010110000 10110110000111111
/////////
01000100011011110110010101110011001000000110100101 11010000100000011101000111001001101111011101010110 00100110110001100101001000000111100101101111011101 01001000000110110101101001011011100110010000100000 01110100011010000110010100100000011101110110000101 11100100100000011110010110111101110101001000000111 01000111001001101111011101010110001001101100011001 01001000000110110101101001011011100110010100111111
Henry slapped Doug on his back with a grin that could have broke all world records.

“For fifteen years we’ve sacrificed scores of test subjects to that machine in hopes we’d achieve success. Until now, I thought it was impossible; a fool’s dream. You did what no one else could have. You’ve done-”
Henry’s speech stopped when another message sounded over the intercom system.

“Warning: Reserve Power Supply Depleted. No Alternative Power Source Detected."Any feelings of success quickly disappeared.

“In Accordance With Emergency Procedure Number 463999999999999999ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR Protocolololollllll evvvvvvvacaterunforyourlife bzzzzzzzzzt” 01000100011010010110010000100000011110010110111101 11010100100000011001100110000101101100011011000010 00000110011001101111011100100010000001110100011010 00011001010010000001110011011000010110110101100101 00100000011001010110110101110000011101000111100100 10000001100001011011100111001101110111011001010111 00100111001100100000011000010110011101100001011010 010110111000111111
The building shook again.

“Structural Integrity Compromised: Building Collapse Imminent. Please Evacuate Allllll Vitttalll Rogue Industries Personalllll. A Fatal Error Has Occurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreddddddd” The voice fizzled in and out with static.

“ SSSSYSTEM FAaaAAILUREeeeEEE
ERROR NUMBBBBER: Nine, Nine, Nine, Nine, Nine, Ninnnnnnnneee
Disk Operating System Has FAILED SHUTDOWN Now.
Rogue Industries Wishes You A Happy Annnnnd Productive Apocalypse. Goodddd-Byeeeebzzztztzztt”
Then the room’s power failed, plunging the entire chamber into smoke choked darkness only broken by the occasional spark and the dim flares from the ruins below.
It was a few seconds later that the dull red glow of the emergency lights flickered on, barely providing enough visibility to see.

A bowling ball sized chunk of ceiling broke off and crashed onto the powerless computer, sending shards of glass and metal flying through the air.
Doug looked at his colleague, and nodded; it was finally time to go.

As if the building had heard their plea to escape, all movement stopped.
The floor ceased rumbling, the ceiling stopped trying to pelt them with pieces of itself, but the fire still raged in the floors beneath them.
Not taking time to examine the situation, they both ran to the metal security exit hatch of the observation deck.
Doug strained to get the stubborn handle to click open, but it finally did with a harsh screech.

The concrete hallway in which they appeared was in ruins.
The metal pipes that lined the interior of the passage had ruptured in the destruction and now were busy emptying their contents onto the crumbling floor.
Water from a overhead duct soaked the two scientists as they exited the hatch and scrambled to their feet.
The dim overhead floodlights were nearly blocked off completely by the smoke and dust clouding the air.

Research papers littered the floor along side the abandoned supply crates and dropped briefcases.
Ash stained the sides of the hallway and the debris on the ground with a flakey black covering. Documents containing vital company information lay half burnt among the wreckage. The men had to walk carefully to avoid the small fires that dotted the hallway.

“Flash fire,” Henry noted as they climbed over the fallen pieces of concrete ceiling.

“All the gas from the pipes must have ignited from one of the fires; torched everything like a furnace all within a few seconds.” Doug reasoned as he shoved a blackened metal crate to the side; it fell with a clang.

Henry found a small map mounted on the side of the tunnel covered in soot. He rubbed it clean with the sleeve of his lab coat.

“Alright, there’s an elevator area straight ahead that leads to the surface, they don’t have power, but there might be a stairwell we can take.” Henry told Doug who was listening while scouting the obstacles ahead.

“That’s great and all, but how much time does the reactor failsafe have until the turbines come back online and discharge?” Doug asked as he motioned to the senior scientist to keep moving with a wave.
That particular procedure only initiated when a catastrophic event occurred: shut down all power generators and reactors to ensure data files cannot be stolen, for a limited time that is.

“About twenty-five minutes, give or take.” Henry reasoned as he trudged his way after Doug through the ruins, silently thanking that he had stayed in shape throughout his many years.

They arrived in the elevator lobby with little time to spare.
Heat fumes vented upwards from the massive fire raging in the nuclear turbines in the bowels of the facility. Only a few feet below, Doug could see actual flames from the burning machines.

How could one person orchestrate an entire disaster, Doug thought as he looked around at the wreckage trying to find any viable exit.

The alarms where still blaring, but their noisy warnings fell on the deaf ears of the two fleeing employees as they carefully treaded their way around the gaping cracks in the floor and the fallen debris from the collapsed ceiling above.
Doug’s face drained of color as he finally saw the true nature of the damages caused by the enemy’s successful sabotaging efforts.

The glass tubes that housed the elevator were shattered in thousands of jagged pieces that shimmered in the light of the fires that leaked from the reactor rooms below.

Among the flame lit wreckage were bodies-dozens of them all dressed in singed Rogue Industries white lab coat uniforms. Their features where burnt making recognition almost impossible.
Doug didn’t know many of the people who worked in the massive facility, but he felt a sort of sympathy for his unknown fallen co-workers.

He wasn’t sure how long he had stood there with his head bowed, or when Henry had decided to stand beside him.
Doug slowly looked at the sixty or so year old man; he was muttering some sort of silent prayer only interrupted by the occasional groan of the metal support beams that held up the ceiling or a coughing fit from the man himself.

Henry ceased his prayer and simply turned toward his much younger colleague and said after another smoke induced coughing fit “Thank you”

He took as deep of a breath as he could before continuing, “This could have easily been my fate: burnt and dead. But you convinced me to disregard every order I know to help you try and save an innocent life. Even now I believe that he is indeed alive, and by your efforts alone. You did a good thing today Dr. Strickland.”

Doug smiled on the inside, glad to know someone was thankful for his work.

Fate, had other plans however, as the two men held their memorial the clock had continued to tick away the precious seconds. The safeguard had run out.

The room suddenly lurched violently; a loud metal groan echoed throughout the dim chamber. In an instant floor of broken glass and bodies began to crumble into the burning depths of the Rogue Industries Advanced Testing and Research Facility.

The two scientists cut their vigil short as they searched desperately for an exit, any exit-even a poorly lit, rickety, twenty-three story metal stairwell to the surface.

Henry went in first to test if the stairs would hold, while he did Doug gazed across the giant fire filled chasm that filled the area where there had been a room seconds before, and down into the dim red hallway from which they came from as far back as he could.

All his thoughts where on the boy: if he made it, whether his decision to send him had truly been the “best” for him, how would the revolutionaries take the news that the closest lead they had to breaking through the Seal was gone.
Gone someplace beyond the Seal itself-if the experiment really did work-unreachable by the rebels.

Henry was yelling, probably that the stairway would hold and to get moving, but Doug stayed put watching as the fires grew in intensity.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He quickly unfolded it and took once last glance at the flattened document before crumpling it again and throwing it into the nearest fire pit. Destroying the last shred of proof that the boy had ever come to Rogue Industries.

“Good luck” He whispered as he whirled around and dashed up the metal stairs, the loud creaking sounds growing less and less as he and Henry ran upwards towards relative safety in the torn world above.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, in the middle of a wheat field long after the sun retired beyond the western horizon for the day, a sudden flash of bright blue punctured the darkness. It lit up the dark stalks like lightning.

Immediately after the flash died down, a single soft thud resonated off the tall stalks of grain.
A muffled groan echoed throughout the darkened field, as the small figure slowly lifted his head.

He attempted to push up on his right arm slightly, but as soon as he contracted the muscles in said arm to move it, a sharp pain sparked from his chest to every single nerve ending in his body.

Spots danced before his already blurry eyes as pure pain lanced across his entire being.

The pain was too much; his damaged body couldn’t take it.

His hazy vision quickly faded to black as his head dropped back towards the dirt with a similar sounding thud. The last thing he heard with certainty was the soft crackle of a small flame.

Jumbled thoughts and shattered memories quickly flashed into his mind before disappearing entirely.

Memories of running, of pain, of a voice of someone important to him, but unable to remember who, of a key, of shouts and unfamiliar voices, of fear, of loud sounds and rumbling, of a circle of bright light followed by fire, and a phrase whispered from far away through all the chaos:

“Good luck”.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End Chapter 0.5

Author’s Notes:
If anyone’s reading this let me be the first to sincerely thank you for reading this far.

I assure you that this chapter is very different than any of the others I’m writing and ten times as difficult to write for me.

As I said before, this is my first work ever and I only hope to make it better in all areas.
Reviews and all constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.

I am currently writing Chapter One for all those interested.

Here’s to success!

Knightfall signing off…

**Bobmeister24** · 25th February 2012, 7:09 PM

This is AMAZING! The way you introduced a situation with people first instead of Pokemon was a brilliant idea. Remember to check your spelling, but well done to the start of what I hope to be an amazing fanfic!

**pokenutter** · 26th February 2012, 5:52 AM

Well, this is one start to a fanfic I won't forget anytime soon.

Let me start off by saying that this is a very visual story- you do not skimp on description. I could clearly visualize the lab in my head, something I don't often do, even with published work. Every action, every character, every location I could see in my head.

Second, you do manage to make Henry and Doug captivating, even though they may or may not appear again in future chapters. You managed to tell a lot about them within a single chapter. I'm hoping the main character will be similar in depth.

I must admit, though, I'm not too sure what they were attempting. I had initially assumed it was teleportation, ut at the end, it seemed like interdimensional transport. Am I remotely close with either theory?

Overall, I'm blown away. I can't wait for the next chapter. If this is what six drafts can produce, maybe I ought to start doing multiple drafts for MD Journal. After I finish, anyway.

(Oh, and I kind of read the computer's lines in GLaDOS's voice. Is that what you were going for?)

**Knightfall** · 26th February 2012, 1:02 PM

Originally Posted by pokenutter

Well, this is one start to a fanfic I won't forget anytime soon.

Let me start off by saying that this is a very visual story- you do not skimp on description. I could clearly visualize the lab in my head, something I don't often do, even with published work. Every action, every character, every location I could see in my head.

Second, you do manage to make Henry and Doug captivating, even though they may or may not appear again in future chapters. You managed to tell a lot about them within a single chapter. I'm hoping the main character will be similar in depth.

I must admit, though, I'm not too sure what they were attempting. I had initially assumed it was teleportation, ut at the end, it seemed like interdimensional transport. Am I remotely close with either theory?

Overall, I'm blown away. I can't wait for the next chapter. If this is what six drafts can produce, maybe I ought to start doing multiple drafts for MD Journal. After I finish, anyway.

(Oh, and I kind of read the computer's lines in GLaDOS's voice. Is that what you were going for?)

Thank you both for your reviews!

@pokenutter. Thanks, now you see why this took so long to finish. I needed everything to be a certain way for the rest of the fic to work.
And about your theory, spot on. It was kind of a mixture of both of the two. That's all I can say about it at the moment. More info on that will be revealed later on.
Also, I tried my best on Doug and Henry's characters, but I can't say whether we'll be seeing them again. Maybe. Maybe not.
And the computer's voice? So close.
I was actually going for the Announcer's voice in Portal 2. Good guess though.

And Bobmeister24. Thank you as well. Spelling errors? Could you tell me where? I thought I got all of them except the ones in the computers glitching voice. Please show me where, I want all the kinks in this to be ironed out.

Thanks for the great reviews.
I'll update when chapter one is finished.
Knightfall signing off...

**PhantomDragon** · 26th February 2012, 7:32 PM

Hey, this is a really good fic! I agree with pokenutter, you're really good at the description. Even though it's the first chapter, with all the description a reader can instantly get drawn in without being swamped. Really looking forward to more chapters!

RANK UP! YAY!

**Knightfall** · 26th February 2012, 9:37 PM

Thanks, PhantomDragon. I appreciate the positive review.
And congrats on the rank up.

Knightfall signing off...

**Bobmeister24** · 27th February 2012, 8:39 PM

OK Knightfall, here are some of the mistakes which I have found and corrected:

Originally Posted by knightfall

“How are you going to make this different than all the others?

Originally Posted by knightfall

The observation windows were flooded with an overwhelming amount of the bright light, everything was painted as blinding stark white.

Originally Posted by knightfall

As if the building had heard their plea to escape, all movement stopped.

I added this one as the word "heard" wasn't in the text, so it didn't make sense.

Originally Posted by knightfall

The concrete hallway which the hatch exited out to was in ruins.

Bad grammar.

Originally Posted by knightfall

The metal pipes that lined the interior of the passage had ruptured in the destruction and now were busy emptying their contents onto the crumbling floor.

Originally Posted by knightfall

The dim overhead floodlights were nearly blocked off completely by the smoke and dust clouding the air.

As you can see, it was just a few small minor details which I picked out. Keep checking yourself in case I've missed any other kinks out. Hope that helped!

**Knightfall** · 28th February 2012, 12:16 AM

Thanks, Bobmeister24. I think I got all of them.
"Where" and "were" I know the difference between the two, but I still get mixed up every now and then.

Thank you for pointing them out.

Knightfall signing off...

**ESPNfanatic35** · 7th March 2012, 4:16 AM

I gotta say that this is pretty darn impressive, especially considering this is your first fic. I like the description a lot and the way you present the characters and settings was very good. You also did a nice job with the computer language. The explosion scene was done very well as I could really feel the suspense before and after it happened.

If there's any critique I have, it's that sections that could be paragraphs are separated into individual sentences. Here's an example:

Then a roar louder then anything either of the men had ever heard quickly drowned out the sounds of falling building foundations.

The observation windows were flooded with an overwhelming amount of the bright light, everything was painted as blinding stark white.

The glass in the windows blew apart, unable to take the energy pulses. Shimmering shards of window rained down from above.

The resulting explosion threatened to shake the room to pieces, but-miraculously- it stayed intact, for the moment.

Doug shakily climbed to his feet, Henry right behind him. The floor was no longer stable; total collapse was nearing.

The younger scientist slowly peered over the shattered window into the ruined room below. The metal portal was an inferno, flames belched from the interior of the metal device. Electricity sparked from the burnt monitors and melted wires.

Doug coughed from the smoke and fumes rising from the burning room below, the smell of burning flooded the upper chamber, filling his lungs with the stinging substances.

Doug squinted at the center of the furnace, where the table and the boy once existed.
His eyes widened in horror as he saw one half of the twisted remains of the metal table embedded in the concrete wall, and the other half nowhere to be found. The several computer monitors that decorated the room where either smashed and on fire, or no where to be found at all.

It seems like this could all be combined into one paragraph. Other than that, I don't have any critiques. Well done and keep it up!

**Knightfall** · 7th March 2012, 11:16 PM

Thank you, I need all the feedback I can get. Hmmm, never occured to me about the paragraphs, I guess now that I look at it, some of those sections would indeed look better as paragraphs.
Some of them, though I tried to do for emphasis. So yeah I'll fix those right away.

For everyone else, Chapter One is almost completed, should be posted here soon if I'm not delayed.

Knightfall signing off...

**Knightfall** · 9th March 2012, 4:52 AM

Chapter One: In Which the Story Begins
~~~~~~~
“In the aftermath of the heinous actions against us, it has become clear that the Republic is not our ally. I pray that we -as a company- can unite and remove these tyrants that wish to destroy everything Rogue Industries has strived to do for science, for mankind, and for our Sealed world. We will do what is necessary to survive, no matter the cost. That is all.” Memo from Rogue Industries CEO Matthew Radic concerning the sabotage and destruction of the Mainland Research and Testing Facility.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~

The bright glare of the sun shone over the golden field making the tall stalks of grain to shimmer in the light.
It also shone directly into the stirring eyes of the collapsed form on the ground.

The irritating light caused his eyes to finally flicker to life and then he let out a strained groan.
As his eyes slowly opened he instantly wished he hadn’t; his head was spinning like a raging tornado.

Sounds mixed together in a distorted jumble, everything was out of sorts.
The smell of damp earth and dry wheat eventually registered in his head that he was outside somewhere.

Despite the throbbing pain in his head the overall pain in his body had lessened enough for him to attempt sitting up.
He willed his arms to push into the dirt in order to elevate himself somewhat.
It was then that he noticed that something was wrong. Very wrong.

He couldn’t pinpoint it exactly-his eyes where still blurry from adjusting to the sun’s glare, but his entire body felt …weird. There was no other word for it.

He finally pushed himself into a sitting position, his eyes had almost recovered to the point of sight.

He sat there eagerly waiting as his blurry white vision slowly began to colorize and take shape.
He lowered his gaze to what he thought to be his right arm.
Even with his distorted vision he knew that his arm was not supposed to be colored red.
His left arm wasn’t supposed to be either for that matter.

In alarm, he suddenly shot up, trying not to lose balance on his two wobbly legs.

He needed a mirror, a puddle, anything reflective would do really.
He scanned the surrounding area quickly, noting that he seemed to be in some sort clearing in a field.

Then he saw it: a glass pane that was attached to a thin metal frame.
He drew a blank about what it was supposed to be, or why it was dumped in the middle a field in the first place.

He carefully approached it, his legs starting to respond to his commands to move forward.

As he got closer he saw that the cracked glass surface was actually a screen of some sort.
A screen that displayed in flashing white letters:

[36453] R.I. D.T.D. Test: Successful/yrl352524773] Error
System Offline: Shutting Down.

The box suddenly emitted a loud spark and the words fizzled into a blank black screen.
Stepping closer to the smoking device he realized that the glass of the screen was reflective.
He moved so that he could see what exactly happened to him.

What he saw gave him no answers; only many, many more questions.
The very first of these questions being: why is there a red lizard standing where I’m supposed to be?

Instead of the lean, brown haired, human reflection which he was rather accustomed to seeing now stood a three foot tall crimson lizard.

“What?” That was all he could to say out of shock.
This … this can’t be real, He thought, this is just a dream or nightmare. A nightmare that was becoming more and more cruelly realistic by the second.

He raised his right arm, the creature in the glass mirrored it.
He did the same with his other arm and both of his legs. Same results, every time.

He bent in closer to see the lizard’s face, two sharp blue eyes and a small horn like thing on the back of its head greeted him. All of it was covered in the same crimson scales as before.

He backed up, dreading to look down out of fear of what he would see that might make this nightmare even worse.
When he worked up enough courage to look, he had to resist the urge to scream.

His arms were covered in tiny crimson scales in place of skin.
His hands had transformed completely- in place of fingers, three sharp, white claws.
His legs had shrunk immensely, ending in a pair stumpy, reptilian feet topped with more white claws.

He twisted himself to see his back in the glass.
He had half expected his back to be covered in the same crimson scales as nearly everywhere else had been, but he wasn’t expecting a tail topped with a live flame.

A live flame? He started to panic. “I’m on fire!”

He let out a startled yell as he immediately grabbed the appendage and then stomped on it as hard as he could to put it out.

It took only a fraction of a second for the pain to nearly push him into unconsciousness again.
His agonized screams echoed throughout the deserted field for miles.

He fell to his knees, the still flaming tail slipping out from beneath his feet as he tried to hold back tears.

“What did I do to deserve this?” He hoarsely whispered, mostly to himself.

As soon as the debilitating reaction from his new tail-he shuddered at the fact that it was now “his”-- he held one hand…um…claw to his head.

“What happened to me?” He asked the empty air around him.

He strained to remember anything that might help him, but came up painfully short.

He started pacing. “Let’s see, what do I remember? That’s a good place to start.”

His mind felt like a hurricane had hit it, he couldn’t even tell if the fragmented memories he had were real or an illusion fabricated from whatever trauma had happened a few hours before.

Yes, his mind was able to recover some information, but the scraps of memories grew increasingly useless.
Even as his mind was fully able to recall the entire metabolic processes of a eukaryotic cell, the most basic information about himself was nowhere to be found.

In short he had nothing. Nothing useful that is.

He kept pacing, careful not to step on his tail again. He tried again to jumpstart his cognitive abilities.
“Basics first, what is my name?”

He couldn’t think of it. Refusing to let such a simple memory elude him, he concentrated harder.

“My name is…” He willed the dark mental fog which had settled on his memories to surrender this one fact.

Finally, as if feeling pity for the teen, the memory surfaced.

“My name is … Leo,” he sighed in relief. He now had something to work with.

“Leo,” he said again, the name- along with everything else- was foreign to him, but it seemed right. It fit nicely.

Tapping his clawed foot on the ground he recited all the facts he had at the moment.

“My name is Leo, I have no memories of my past life, and I am a human.”
He stopped as he saw his new reflection in the glass screen again, “or at least I think I used to be.”
Leo grumbled, he was almost certain he was human, but he couldn’t exactly trust his mind at the moment either.

He shook his head, he had never let anything get him down; or at least he didn’t think he did.
Either way, he had to find a way out of this mess and to do that, he reasoned, he had to find a way out of this field and to some sort of civilization.

As if sensing his sudden resolve, his stomach growled loudly. Leo suddenly became aware that he must not have eaten in recent memory.

His stomach growled once more, telling its owner to find something to eat.
He scanned the ground around the strange glass screen in search of anything else helpful before he left. That was when he saw the key.

He plucked the artifact off of the ground, dusting away some of the dirt that had accumulated on the surface.

It was, in short, beautiful. A small light blue crystal key with two downward facing prongs and a circular back end with a small opening.
A thin golden thread wound its way through the hole before rejoining with itself.
Intricate engraved lines decorated the item in such a way that it almost seemed like it was not made by any tools at all.

Leo was fascinated with the relic, he couldn’t recall that he had ever seen it before as a human, but he decided to take it with him.
Slipping the golden string around his neck, he nodded at his reflection once before setting off with the sun to his back, in hopes of finding food and, preferably, civilization.

He didn’t go far before he discovered that the dirt path he took turned into a trail in the forest of wheat stalks.
His shortened legs forced him to move twice as much to cover the same distance as he did as a human, it also tired him out considerably faster.

He wasn’t one-hundred percent sure, but he didn’t think anyone- even whatever he now was- should attempt to travel after suffering a major head injury.
He tried to remember the various symptoms of concussion and heat stroke, but the fog wouldn’t let any of those precious details go.

Normally when one finds themselves in a strange place, in a strange body, hungry, lost, and with no idea of how they got to be that way, they do one of two things.

One: they panic. This is most likely the worst out of all the things one could do in this situation.
It has the slim possibility of attracting some random passerby who is willing to help, but, realistically more of a possibility of hailing down an unsavory character, or other rejects of society who are considerably less helpful.

Two: they remain calm and simply wait until help arrives, using the time to reflect on why they are in this situation in the first place, and perhaps come up with a few clues.

Leo had no intention of doing any of the two at the moment; he had bigger things to worry about.
He resolved that he’d go down a rarely used third path: those who simply deal with it later.

He was careful to keep his flaming tail a good distance away from the stalks, the last thing he needed was to accidently start a brush fire.

The paths lead him down several random turns and forced him to backtrack when each trail suddenly ended.
His fears of igniting an inferno kept him from pushing through the sea of wheat in hopes of finding another route.
His hunger kept him going even when he felt like his legs would collapse from exhaustion. He continued to look for anything else that would signal the existence of sentient life, but more and more it seemed that he was truly alone in this field.

Nothing moved aside from the gently swaying plants, even the position of the sun and clouds hadn’t changed since he started out hours ago.
No birds chirped, no insects buzzed ... this lush field was utterly abandoned.

He stopped getting his hopes up when he occasionally stumbled across a small clearing; there was usually nothing on the ground-with the exception of odd circular rocks and sticks- and the clearing always branched off into even more similar paths.

He once tried to find his way back to the clearing where he first woke up, but it was forever lost amid the endless golden labyrinth.
His hopes of finding any exit at all shrunk, but not to the point of straying from the path.

He stopped several times just to rest, never going to sleep, though.
He was exhausted, but he still didn’t know who or what was out there with him, so sleep was not an option.

He had a procedure he started following: find an open clearing, look for food, find a comfortable patch of dirt and rest, start walking again, repeat.

He would have attributed the longevity of the hike due to his going in circles, but he never found anything familiar to tell him that he was, so he stuck with the explanation that this field was just unnaturally massive.

His fifth second wind was just about used up when he saw it. In one of his occasional peaks through the wall of plants that bordered the path, he glimpsed another clearing on the opposite side.
This was not what made it so different from the seven others he had seen before, on the ground of this clearing, half hidden by the stalks was a glistening red apple.

To any other person they would have disregarded it as just a possibly rotten fruit, but to Leo, it was more precious than any element listed on the Periodic Table.

His stomach that had given up growling a few hours ago suddenly voiced its opinion once more.
His fears of accidentally starting a fire with his flaming tail were shoved to the back of his mind, the promise of food overriding his instincts to stay on the path.

He smacked his lips and lunged through the seemingly thin wall of wheat.

Instead of feeling the dry stalks brush up against his scaly skin, he felt what compared to a brick wall.
He slowly slid to the ground where he laid in a daze for a few moments, or at least what he thought was a few moments, the still sky had screwed up any sense of time in this place.

Those were plants aren't they, plants aren’t supposed to be hard, he thought as he dizzily looked at the golden barrier.
It could have been the concussion talking, but he thought he heard the wall taunting him, its voice thin and raspy like a wintery wind.

He staggered to his feet,
“Challenge accepted…” he dizzily muttered as he ran full speed into the wheat once more.

This time he actually felt the stalks scratch at his skin before crashing into the barrier and falling to the ground.
His vision was focusing in and out like a zooming camera. He shook his head clear again.
He knew he didn’t have much time before his waning stamina gave out and his body forced him to rest whether he liked it or not.

He peeked through the spaces in the stalks to see if the apple was still there, it was.
He sighed in relief as he girded himself for another run at the partition that separated him from his meal.

Three failed attempts later, he finally accepted the fact that he was in no state to keep doing this.
He simply walked up to the wall, gave a weak laugh, balled up his fist, and punched the wheat as hard as he could.

He expected a punch like that to at the very least break his wrist, but instead- much to his surprise- it sank deep into the dry golden weeds, almost to his elbow.
He grinned, suppressing his feelings of utter confusion and rage at the change of events, and plunged his other fist into the barrier. It too sank into the plant stalks.

He tried to push outwards with his claws to make a path, and it worked slightly.
The stalks stuck to each other like magnets, and he knew he was going to need a lot more force to make the plants move enough so he could get through.

He pushed forward with his feet so that the rest of his body inched into the wall. Once completely inside- a tiring effort on Leo’s part- the stalks started to push against him, trying to shove him back out to the path.

“No, I am not going back! I will get through this field, or die trying!” he proclaimed to the field as the small negative part of his mind told him that the later was most likely to happen.
The field apparently accepted his challenge.

He felt like there was a super magnet pulling him back towards the path; each step he took made the pull on his body even stronger.
He slowly clawed his way through the reeds, glad that his new appendages were being useful, even his tail wasn’t starting any fires despite the fact that it was brushing up against the dry plants constantly.

The laws of physics didn’t seem to apply here, Leo deduced, there had been more than enough examples today to prove that.

Leo could feel the strength draining from his arms and legs with every step forward.
It was agonizing, he could see the other clearing just a few feet away, but he knew he was still miles from getting through.
At least the red fruit was still there.

That fact alone kept him going; he knew he was past the point of turning back. The field continued its pull with a similar renewed resolve.
The strange force that ruled this place had no intentions of letting him break the rules and get away with it.

It was when he finally made it half way through the cursed barrier everything changed. It was as if a shudder rippled across the field and the fierce pull suddenly reversed itself.

Instead of trying to pull him back to the path, the odd force was now trying to push him towards the clearing with all the might it had exerted seconds ago.

The following result might have been funny to a passerby, but it was an even worse turn of events for Leo.
He found himself being abruptly pushed towards the clearing with a sickening speed.

The next few seconds were a fast golden blur as he lost his footing and was literally hurled from the barrier.
He shot past the last brittle stalks separating him from the clearing like a bullet.

The next thing he knew he was laying sprawled on his stomach out in the middle of the dirt, the apple remained were it was just out of his reach.
He lifted his head slightly to glimpse the stalks of wheat closing back in on each other, erasing the little path his endeavor had created.

He was on the verge of collapse, everything felt either numb or close to it. He gazed longingly at the fruit only a few feet away.
He feebly dug his claws into the dirt and tried to drag himself forward slightly.

At this rate, he thought, I won’t reach it before I pass out. He suddenly pushed the negative thoughts away.
No, I’ll rest after I get it. He motivated himself, as he strained to move.

His body was begging him to stop and rest, but he knew that he couldn’t pause.
He didn’t know how much longer that apple would stay put, or when he would find another in this forsaken place.

The fruit was finally in his claw when his body shut went numb. Aside from his eyes he couldn’t move.
After a few mentally exhausting minutes spent trying to break free of his self induced paralysis, he finally contemplated stopping for a while.

Suddenly, his frozen stare detected two figures walk in from another path. Their appearances made him question how badly his mind was damaged.

The first one looked like a dog, a blue and black furred dog that could walk on its hind legs. If that was strange, he found the second being even stranger.
It was a yellow furred fox with a spiky white collar of sorts. Even in his limited memories of his past life, he was absolutely certain that he had never seen such creatures.

He couldn’t shout, he couldn’t wave, or do anything to attract their attention, or to run away if it was necessary.
He was stuck.
He only hoped that they would notice him sooner or later. But now it didn’t matter, his vision was fading from color to a blurry grey to black.

It may have been simply a delusion of his strained mind, but he swore that before he passed out that he had heard the strangely colored animals talking with actual voices.
Yep, must be the concussion, he thought to himself before his mind shut down completely from exhaustion as the darkness swallowed him for the second time.

The sky was painted in the colors of sunset, with night fast approaching.

~~~~~~~~~

He lifted his head slowly off the ground.
Smoke filled the dark air, pouring from the shattered building behind him.

Flaming debris rained down from the night sky above in slow motion, if he hadn’t been thoroughly bruised and battered by the blast he would been almost happy to watch as the fiery wreckage pelted the broken landscape like falling stars.

He tilted his head to the left to see another person unconscious on the cracked asphalt, they both probably had a few broken ribs among other injuries, but that was a small price to pay for not being completely incinerated.

His thoughts drifted to Leo, the boy they had defied every odd and procedure to save. Where was he now? Was he even alive? The brief experiment results only told so much about the subject.

The small dark voice in his mind kept telling him that he had failed, that he had exiled Leo against his will. Trapping in him possibly forever in a world he couldn’t possibly know. These doubts ate at him until his thoughts reminded him of the cruel reality they currently lived- if it could be called that- in.

The doubts disappeared, the malicious thoughts calmed.

In the middle of the aftermath of what would be known as the largest declaration of war in Realm history, Doug smiled to himself.

No, Leo hadn’t been exiled.
He escaped.

~~~~~~~~~~
End Chapter: One
~~~~~~~~~~
A.N:

For those of you reading, I thank you again.

I had a good time writing this chapter, writing the behavioral patterns of a typical insane mystery dungeon is very fun to do.

I always found it weird that it was basically impossible to go through a wall of trees or grass in a mystery dungeon, so I decided to show exactly how much effort it is to cross.

I tried to make Leo’s response to his situation a rational one: don’t panic, and stay calm.
He noticed he had an even bigger problem on his hands other being in a new body: potentially starving in a strange place.
That’s why I thought his “Survive first, panic later” response was reasonable.

For those of you who wanted to know the fate of our two favorite scientists, I thought some closure was necessary, and I really liked his final thought at the end. Seems fitting, from a certain point of view that is.

Thank you for reading, reviews and responses are always appreciated.

Chapter Two will be arriving soon.

‘Til the next chapter,

Knightfall signing off…

**pokenutter** · 9th March 2012, 5:14 AM

Alright, Chapter 1! Forst off, I'd like to congratulate you once again on a very visual story. The opening featuring Leo adjusting to his surroundings and new body worked really well.

I think Leo must be something of a Determinator, if he's willing to push his way through a reverse-black hole of a wheat field. I must also say, I like that the Mystery Dungeon you chose to begin the story with was outdoors. I think it contrasts his isolation up better than a cave would- he's completely alone, but you wouldn't get that impression based on the setting.

In addition, nice bit of closure with Doug at the end.

Over all, a solid chapter. I'm looking forward to the next one!

**Knightfall** · 9th March 2012, 11:32 AM

Originally Posted by pokenutter

Alright, Chapter 1! Forst off, I'd like to congratulate you once again on a very visual story. The opening featuring Leo adjusting to his surroundings and new body worked really well.

Thanks, I tried hard to make his first day's struggle in the Pokeworld miserable, for his own good of course.

Originally Posted by pokenutter

I think Leo must be something of a Determinator, if he's willing to push his way through a reverse-black hole of a wheat field. I must also say, I like that the Mystery Dungeon you chose to begin the story with was outdoors. I think it contrasts his isolation up better than a cave would- he's completely alone, but you wouldn't get that impression based on the setting.

That was one of the points I wanted to get across: that he has no allies in this strange world. And that mystery dungeon is sorta strange as well.

Originally Posted by pokenutter

In addition, nice bit of closure with Doug at the end.

Over all, a solid chapter. I'm looking forward to the next one!

I knew I couldn't just leave his story hanging like that. I liked writting him and Henry so I felt they deserved an ending.

Thank you again, I'm glad that this chapter went over well.

And to all other readers: don't be afraid to leave a review, or even a post saying "this is great!" or something like that.

Chapter 2 is being written as I post this.

Knightfall signing off...

**Azurus** · 12th March 2012, 1:28 AM

Well well well.... Really great story, love the description and the atmosphere of it.

Now is he a charmeleon? You said he had a horn coming out the back of his head, and if so...NIIICE touch, not being a first evolution would be awesome.

Also I have to thank you for your reccommendatons on good fanfics, haven't let me down yet.

About spelling mistakes.... you have quite a few but if you read it out loud you should find them, I'd quote them but I'm using a 3ds and it would be a lot of work to do so. However they aren't so bad they detract from the story so don't worry about it too much.

Only bad thing is that I'm impatient and can't wait for more. Keep up the awesome work.

**Knightfall** · 12th March 2012, 11:22 PM

Thank you for posting!

As for your questions. Yes, he is a Charmeleon. I tried to make this fic differ from alot of the others.

I'm currently on vacation so I can't edit at the moment, but thank you again for posting.

Knightfall signing off...

Edit: And you're welcome for the fan fic list. Glad it helped

**Wyrm** · 18th March 2012, 5:45 PM

Hey, Knightfall! This looks like a decent story you have here.

First off, the issues. The main problem is that it seems you have your commas and semicolons mixed up. It's a real hard thing for me to explain, though. Are you using a word processor? Usually they catch these things. Analyzing your sentences closely, knowing what components go where, and knowing what a sentence should look like will help you as well.

A very minor thing is also indicating a character's direct thoughts with italics. I don't believe it's a required thing, but could make reading a tad bit easier.

One small error in the paragraphing: when Leo shouted about how he was either going to make it through the field or die trying, you put the "he said" one line below the dialogue, also making the "he" capitalized.

Those are the only negative aspects, which should be easily fixed. Now for the perks.

Your style of paragraphing is not only different, but thinking outside of the box. This almost looks like an epic poem such as Beowulf. You go into great detail, all the while keeping everything in short slices that are aesthetically pleasing. Because of this fascinating style, many parts in this which would normally be considered mistakes are rendered null and void. I tip my hat to you on this.

Another unique aspect is beginning this with not only a human world, but an escape from a world at war through an elaborate test featuring a somewhat sarcastic computer. Quite an intriguing way to begin this adventure.

By the way, I love how Leo is going to get himself in trouble with the various Mystery Dungeons. As if attempting to go through the reverse black hole wasn't enough, wait until he comes across an enemy... *snickers*

Before he blacked out, were those two Pokémon he saw the hero and partner in PMD2?

Overall, I believe this is the beginning of something excellent. I look forward to future chapters full of Leo and his special Leo-ness.

**Knightfall** · 18th March 2012, 6:27 PM