8th December 2012, 12:33 AM
This is really good, keep up the good work.
I like your creativity in really adding a strong background for the Pokemon world. I'd never of thought of a kingdom, or a rebellion, or such a place they live in. Aside from some typos, this is a great story. I'll leave a mental note to read more later.
Your characters have sense of being, their personalities are vivid and believable. It gives me the feeling that they're based upon real people. You're also amazingly good with the details, details are all you have to help readers envision the invisible painting you give them. I seriously like your attention to those things.
I expect good works from you in the future.