Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Overthrown

[Deadly.Braviary]

Gah, sorry I took so long, but ... yeah. I'm here now.

Actually, I haven't got much to say. Screw that, I've got nothing to say. This story left me speechless. I love your talent for worldbuilding: it seems to me that the entire Kingdom-Colonies war feels like how a real war would be. Either you're completely detached, as Leo and co. were previously, or you're right in the thick of it, like how the mystery Scyther was. Speaking of which, that guy was kewl. And so was Richelieu. And, for that matter, Nexus. Your villains feel very clearly defined, you think you know how they're going to turn out, you think, "Yeah, that guy's evil," - and then WHAM! they pull a Wire on you. All your characters are awesome that way.

So, yeah. Impressive, to say the least. So impressive that you can expect a couple'a award noms from me Oh, and add me to the PM list as well. And those people in your sig? They're absolutely right. This is an enthralling tale of suspense, war and - dare I say it? Yeah, I dare - insanity.

[Knightfall]

Actually, I haven't got much to say. Screw that, I've got nothing to say. This story left me speechless. I love your talent for worldbuilding: it seems to me that the entire Kingdom-Colonies war feels like how a real war would be. Either you're completely detached, as Leo and co. were previously, or you're right in the thick of it, like how the mystery Scyther was. Speaking of which, that guy was kewl. And so was Richelieu. And, for that matter, Nexus. Your villains feel very clearly defined, you think you know how they're going to turn out, you think, "Yeah, that guy's evil," - and then WHAM! they pull a Wire on you. All your characters are awesome that way.

Wow, thank you so much! Well, in response to each of your questions: I try my best to make things as realistic as possible (for a PMD story, anyways). I'm also a big history buff, so I have done my research on wars, revolutions, and colonial rule in countries. So, I'm fairly certain I can write both sides of the conflict decently.

You like the Scyther and Richelieu? Well, I'm glad. You'll be seeing more of them later. Hehe, Wire and Nexus were a last minute decision that worked in my favor. It was a new concept for me, as least, having a villain sharing a mind with an even worse villain.

So, yeah. Impressive, to say the least. So impressive that you can expect a couple'a award noms from me Oh, and add me to the PM list as well. And those people in your sig? They're absolutely right. This is an enthralling tale of suspense, war and - dare I say it? Yeah, I dare - insanity.

Again, thank you so much. I'm not sure if I've said it enough yet, but I never expected this much positive support for what is essentially my first piece of creative writing ever. So, Deadly, and everyone, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Expect more insanity soon...

Knightfall signing off...

[Sid87]

The figure shouted an impressive string of explicatives and rushed away from the mass of sentient ooze,

Heh. "expletives". But "explicatives" sounds fun, too.

Shaking his head in an effort to ignore the smells and other unpleasantries, the figure pressed forward into the crowds of Pokemon, each struggling to survive on the underbelly of the glorified capital.

Don't get why the "glorified" is there. The capital does not seem glorious or puffed-up, so it reads as sarcasm, but from a narrator that isn't a character, that doesn't really add anything to the story. Maybe you mixed up the use of "glorified", in which case, you MIGHT have meant "underbelly of the glorified ghetto serving as the capital".

The figure carefully looked around through the sea of less than savory, unwashed peasants,

*less-than-savory. It should have hyphens.

colorful footprint rune graffiti scrawled on every available inch of wall along the alley.

Colorful what now?

Sections of the city’s resident newspaper were rapidly becoming its own level of pavement over the cobblestone as they were carelessly discarded.

This, however, I really like. Good imagery.

Despite being roughly shoved by several of the inhabitants of these slums, the figure clutched its robe even tighter as it pushed aside an Octillery screaming about how the “demon on the throne” would trigger Judgment Day on them all. The crazed citizen waved its many tentacles around, erratically grasping at the edges of the figure’s robe in a futile attempt to stop the hooded Pokemon’s progress.

I like this, too. It's a fast, subtle way to build up the world. Deranged naysayer character! Woo.

After fording one more alleyway of odorous individuals selling wares that broke several royal laws simply by existing, the figure, somehow avoiding being sick from the indescribable artifacts on display,

What about them would make someone sick? I feel like I'm either missing a description there or being given an irrelevant detail.

Eventually, it shook its head and took a deep, calming breath as it slowly pushed one of the ancient wooden doors open.

This narration seems confused. It wants to tell me this character has a bipedal figure and a canine nose, but we're playing the mystery gender game? I feel like the narration knows who this character is, but is being intentionally vague. Which, obviously the AUTHOR knows, but the narration should be able to tell more than it has so far. Without sounding sexist, if you can see a figures gait, muzzle, and arms... you can probably tell its gender.

Delicate paintings and portraits of relics and ancient clashes between the three Dragons hung on the wood paneled walls at precise, ordered distances apart from each other.

More interesting, subtle world-building.

“It has been a long time since you have been here, has it not?” The cloaked figure slowly approached the Bronzong, walking in an aisle between the pews to the raised area in the front.
Within a few strides, the figure was standing directly behind the psychic type. Raising a paw to its head, the figure drew back the hood of its robe, exposing its identity.

More unseparated paragraphs! NoooOOOOoooOOOOOooo!

“Well, first off, cast off that filthy robe! There is no need for you to hide your face here! Here you are, a king, slithering around like a common field snake! How can you hope to rise if you embrace the floor?” Ruak shouted, its body emitting a deep ringing sound as he used his arms to rip the garment off Nickolas and immediately tear it into shreds.

Did you get that saying from somewhere or did you make it up? It's quite interesting and poignant. Though, here it sounds a bit elitist.

The Bronzong suddenly floated up so that his red eyes were directly staring into the Lucario’s. “No, son. I want to hear from you. What is troubling you? Not the Kingdom. Once you conquer your own demons, then you can expel the demons that dwell in others,” Ruak demanded, forcing the king’s head to look him in the eye with a psychonic field. Unable to look away, Nickolas struggled to piece together the words.

“My family is gone, Father. They’re gone. From life and from me. Father, I-I just don’t know what to do now.” Nickolas sat down on the steps leading up to the altar, allowing the Bronzong to float next to him.

That felt a bit easy to me. NOT that I think this dang chapter needed to be any LONGER, but I would liked to have seen Nicholas struggle a bit more with looking inwardly at his own pain rather than accepting his nation's pain as his own.

“Listen to me, Nickolas. I know it is hard for you, but you must think about your larger family. Every citizen under your rule are your sons and daughters. You must care for them as such. Do not selfishly lose your focus on two Pokemon that Dialga has chosen to reside with him in the Hidden Land.”

LOL. Let me summarize the last few paragraphs:

Nicholas: Everything sucks for everybody.
Ruak: Don't think about everyone else. Think about yourself.
Nicholas: I miss my family.
Ruak: Everything sucks for everyone. Think about them.

Me: Wait, you just told him NOT to do that.

“I can not help you if you refuse to let go of the past. I will leave you to your thoughts now. Be it far from me to divine the future, but remember this, Nickolas: you must delegate, or else you will abdicate.” With the last word, Ruak exited the temple and closed the door behind him.

YOU JUST TOLD HIM TO THINK ABOUT HIS PAST! I kind of hate this Bronzong. Also, I don't trust advice that rhymes.

In an instant, his mind cleared. He knew no more of the woes of his family. He could not remember his wife’s name, or even if he had a son at all. Nickolas’s memories were purged for every shred of recognition of his loved ones until nothing remained, and he was perfectly fine with it.

Wait...figuratively? Like he was possessed by a calm? Or LITERALLY, like he was just brainwashed? Huh. That's curious.

Damn, scene one is gone, and that little scroll bar has not traveled nearly as much as I had hoped. Onward...

The Charmeleon barely caught a glimpse of the blue otter before he tackled him to the ground, sand spraying into the air and suffocating his tail flame.

There's some pronoun confusion at the end there. Who tackled whom? I can see by reading on, but the sentence leaves it up-in-the-air.

Pulling his twin scallops off his sides, he cautiously circles around the arena,

*circled, you slipped into present tense there.

Leo mimicking his movements. The Pokemon and the former human exchanged murderous glances at each other, sharp blue staring down deep black.

You know... you could use more of these moments. It's easy to forget that Leo used to be a human. I know it's been a while here, but things should still be foreign and weird to him.

Tiny embers scorched his throat as he belched forth a small volley of fireballs. As soon as they vacated his jaw, the pinpricks of fire adsorbed oxygen as they flared and grew to the size of Oran Berries. The spheres of burning air collided with the spheres of water. The entire arena was instantly blinded as explosions of steam sent shockwaves through the air, knocking both combatants to the sand.

Couple things caught me here: I don't like the "vacated his jaw" because it all seems too wordy. Like we're intentionally choosing obscure ways to say things. "left his mouth" is just fine here. Also, I can't tell if I dislike the quick double use of "spheres" to describe the attacks. I might like the mirroring of it all, but I also think it's repetitive.

In hindsight, he figured this probably wasn’t the smartest idea when facing a Water type.

I think this should be "in hindsight, he WOULD FIGURE this..." because he's not having that thought yet (and if he is, it isn't hindsight. It's more like... present-sight. Changing-his-mind-sight. )

Before his mind could relay the signal to act, Noah had pulled one of his razor shells off his side and held it against Leo’s neck. Small droplets of blood began to appear as Noah pressed the sharpened blade harder into the Charmeleon’s skin.

Leo wouldn't really know it was blood... I'm sure he can't see his own neck. And the narration being attached to him, it feels odd to be given this detail and JESUS CHRIST THAT SCROLL BAR IS NOT WHERE I WANT IT TO BE.

“Darney.” a deep, tired voice resounded in the Scyther’s ears. Darney tensed, his face struggling to contain a grimace at the sound of the voice.

There are a LOT of damn characters in this story.

“You don’t understand. I heard her ... “ he said, his voice barely audible. He stole a quick glance behind. The hallway was deserted, but he knew better than to trust his sight. He returned his sight to the path ahead of him.

So many characters...

Anyway, the repeated use of "sight" here is a bit weird. Especially when when of them is how he doesn't trust his own. I would change the last sentence to "He looked back down the path ahead of him".

The void was not as it seemed. Cruel, unforgiving deception lay just below the invisible surface. When the truth falls from its lofty perch, it must met the deception that waits below. Deception, the very thought of the word sent doubts spiraling into his heart.

"must MEET with the deception". And is that a quote from someone Italics Dialogue knows? If so, it should be, well, in quotations.

“Employee number: Two. Eight. Six, you have been acknowledged. Your recent actions were observed to fall under non-standard mal-compliance ordinances.

Non-compliance?

“Over my dead body.” he growled. He clutched his injured leg and set his teeth as he quickly rose to his feet, the pain shooting fiery rods into his nerves. He awkwardly shuffled along the wall, gingerly lifted the leather strap of his satchel over his neck, and hefted his friend up from the ground.

I assume he didn't actually scoop up his leg and carry it with him, so perhaps "clutched AT his injured leg" would be better.

Inches from relative safety in the dark passage, a stone slab slammed down from above, conjured there from elsewhere in the labyrinth and placed here by the energy.

Generally don't say "here" in past tense narration. Also... what energy? This reads like I'm supposed to go "Oh, THE ENERGY!", but I don't know what energy it is talking about.

As long as he had known the Breloom, Vertex has remained by his side even throughout the breakdowns. His condition continually grew worse as the breakdowns came more frequently. The photosynthetic cells in his skin gradually died off more and more until the vibrant shades of green and red pigment faded away until only a fraction of it remained.

Breloom, eh? I'd been wondering what these two are, so now I know one. And isn't Breloom Ian... the one who broke his leg? If so... how did he clutch [at] it? He wouldn't have arms.

Okay, that was a LOT of stuff going on, and reading this once a month or so make it hard to remember all the goings-on and characters AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A WHOLE 'NOTHER POST OF THIS? Gods, I'm only halfway done? Why don't I just lie down and die?

I'll get to the ENTIRE SECOND POST'S WORTH OF THIS CHAPTER later this weekend.


EDIT:

Night had nearly secured its place in the sky after overthrowing the sun’s setting régime.

Lose "setting". Just "sun's regime".

What was that old phrase? Twice the pride, double the fall?

Seems like there is a lot of cliches being espoused this chapter. Which isn't bad... it just is what it is. It struck me that this is the third or fourth one I read.

Leo stared at the almost sickly green fluid in front of him. Leaning in close to it, he could swear that it hissed at him.

I like that. Fun description.

Under the watchful eyes of his teammates, Leo lifted the bowl to his mouth. He could hear the vibrant green goo hiss at him, as if it said “eat me, I dare you.” Shaking his head, he gulped as he tipped the bowl’s contents into his mouth.

I liked it, but then it got a bit overplayed. This was the third use, in a fairly quick succession of, of "hiss". Just seems a touch repetitive.

After that, the teams parted ways, each going to their own tents as the nightly curfew was fast approaching. The group walked along the pathways between the stacks of crates and tents, passing Pokemon along the way.

Which group? You just said the two teams split up, so this is a bit ambiguous.

A small blue and white squirrel energetically asked Noah whom his new “friends” were before zipping off on all fours past them, not even giving Noah a chance to respond.

Should be "who", not "whom". Who/whom is one of those really obnoxious rules that is hard to get right, and really, you're not entirely wrong to just use "who" in any circumstance if you're not sure. It's gaining traction as the permanent correct usage in a society that has a hard time figuring out "whom". Basically, "whom" can never be the subject of a clause. Which is to say, it can't be followed by a verb (like here, "...WHOM his knew friends WERE...". Whom is mostly appropriate when following a preposition. "WHO KICKED the ball?" versus "The ball was kicked BY WHOM?"

Leo was comforted when he saw that it felt just like the ones they had abruptly left back at their base.

I don't like the "he SAW that it FELT". Maybe "he FOUND that it felt"? Or just " comforted when he FELT that it was just like..."

It had been a few hours since Jay’s retelling of the adventures they had all been on.

Speaking of obscure grammar rules that are really losing their place in today's society: you shouldn't end sentences in a preposition. It's not "correct", but, like with "whom", this rule is losing traction in society since EVERYONE does it. This *should* be "the adventures ON WHICH they'd been", but that reads as pretentious 100% of the time. Might be easier to fudge the whole thing and just say "retelling of their adventures to that point". or something.

The void where the sky was supposed to be was an open abyss, black as night and, unlike space, there were no stars to decorate this tapestry.

"black as night and, like space, void of stars to decorate...". Just thought that could be cleaned up.

Leo narrowed his eyes, he didn’t believe it for a moment. The Mismagius noticed this almost instantly.

semi-colon, not a comma.

the Mismagius answered, starring Leo straight in his eyes.

*staring

Leo looked around, the entire camp was bathed in a dull grey light once more, but this time, the light was growing brighter, little by little aided by the rising sun on the eastern side of the camp.

After "looked around", that should be a semi-colon again.

“I had a bad dream. How about you?” he said with a sigh. Well, it’s not a complete lie. That dream was horrible. That thought was the catalyst for what became a chain reaction of thoughts, I’ve been lying this whole time. Kelly shifted her front paws in discomfort, as if she was unsure of what to say.

With everything going on, I feel we lose sight a lot of Leo's [potential] guilt over being deceitful about his past. Nice to bring that back up. It's one of those momentum-building lies; the longer you go without telling the truth, the worse it will be when it finally emerges. And after a point, which was crossed a LONG time ago, it might already be better to just let it go and hope that moment never comes. But we all know it will...

“Kelly … I found something out about me. About my past...” he paused for a second. She seemed completely attentive, but he thought he heard a noise from elsewhere in the camp. He dismissed it. “Kelly … As unbelievable as it sounds …I am--” he stopped. He knew he heard it this time. The sound of a set of heavy footsteps. He swiftly turned around to face the intruder to their conversation.

This was SUCH a cliche moment, and EVERY READER knew he wasn't going to make a big reveal here, but still... it was handled well enough that, in my head and despite my knowing it wasn't going to happen, I kept thinking "do it do it do it do it Do It Do It DO IT DO IT DAMN IT!"


Woo....finished. Now... don't ever do anything remotely like this again.

[Knightfall]

Don't get why the "glorified" is there. The capital does not seem glorious or puffed-up, so it reads as sarcasm, but from a narrator that isn't a character, that doesn't really add anything to the story. Maybe you mixed up the use of "glorified", in which case, you MIGHT have meant "underbelly of the glorified ghetto serving as the capital".

It's mainly referring to the upper class and their lavish homes. Just look at Darney's scene and you'll see.

Colorful what now?

Reference to the games. In Time/Darkness/Sky, these are used as a system of writing. They use the footprints of Pokemon to make words, it's actually pretty cool.

This, however, I really like. Good imagery.

I like this, too. It's a fast, subtle way to build up the world. Deranged naysayer character! Woo.

Thanks! I really like writing those deranged characters.

What about them would make someone sick? I feel like I'm either missing a description there or being given an irrelevant detail.

Well, it was kept vague so that people would wonder what exactly they were selling to make someone sick.

This narration seems confused. It wants to tell me this character has a bipedal figure and a canine nose, but we're playing the mystery gender game? I feel like the narration knows who this character is, but is being intentionally vague. Which, obviously the AUTHOR knows, but the narration should be able to tell more than it has so far. Without sounding sexist, if you can see a figures gait, muzzle, and arms... you can probably tell its gender.

The narration was originally meant to be vague about his gender, but I changed it during editing. Apparently I didn't get all of them.

More interesting, subtle world-building.

A lot of PMD stories ignore religion in that world completely. It's obvious that the legendaries would be worshiped, but how exactly is what I'm trying to convey.

Did you get that saying from somewhere or did you make it up? It's quite interesting and poignant. Though, here it sounds a bit elitist.

I did make it up. And yes, it is a little flashy for this scene, but I like it.

That felt a bit easy to me. NOT that I think this dang chapter needed to be any LONGER, but I would liked to have seen Nicholas struggle a bit more with looking inwardly at his own pain rather than accepting his nation's pain as his own.

You've got a point, I should have tired to make his struggle longer. I need to build up his character some more.

LOL. Let me summarize the last few paragraphs:

Nicholas: Everything sucks for everybody.
Ruak: Don't think about everyone else. Think about yourself.
Nicholas: I miss my family.
Ruak: Everything sucks for everyone. Think about them.

Me: Wait, you just told him NOT to do that.

I think he was saying that Nickolas has to let go of his own problems as he must lead his country. And maybe, a bit of circular logic is what Nickolas needs. XD

Wait...figuratively? Like he was possessed by a calm? Or LITERALLY, like he was just brainwashed? Huh. That's curious.

Damn, scene one is gone, and that little scroll bar has not traveled nearly as much as I had hoped. Onward...

Well, it's a little weird. There is an explanation for it (albeit I'm still thinking of it), and it will be touched on later. Though, you can expect his character to behave differently from now on.

XD I'm so sorry, Sid.

You know... you could use more of these moments. It's easy to forget that Leo used to be a human. I know it's been a while here, but things should still be foreign and weird to him.

It's been several days since Leo first woke up, and in that time, he's had to learn to fight and survive. I'll be sure to add more scenes like this that show his humanity and unfamiliarity with the Pokemon world.

Couple things caught me here: I don't like the "vacated his jaw" because it all seems too wordy. Like we're intentionally choosing obscure ways to say things. "left his mouth" is just fine here. Also, I can't tell if I dislike the quick double use of "spheres" to describe the attacks. I might like the mirroring of it all, but I also think it's repetitive.

Good points, I don't know why I was trying to be flashy there.

Leo wouldn't really know it was blood... I'm sure he can't see his own neck. And the narration being attached to him, it feels odd to be given this detail and JESUS CHRIST THAT SCROLL BAR IS NOT WHERE I WANT IT TO BE.

That's true... I'll fix that.

XD Oh, Sid...

There are a LOT of damn characters in this story.

So many characters...[/qupte]

Well, now you can make use of the list I made for you.

"must MEET with the deception". And is that a quote from someone Italics Dialogue knows? If so, it should be, well, in quotations.

Fixed. And no, it isn't a quote. It's an odd bit of narration.

I assume he didn't actually scoop up his leg and carry it with him, so perhaps "clutched AT his injured leg" would be better.

Fixed.

Generally don't say "here" in past tense narration. Also... what energy? This reads like I'm supposed to go "Oh, THE ENERGY!", but I don't know what energy it is talking about.

And fixed. And the energy part has been edited as well.

Breloom, eh? I'd been wondering what these two are, so now I know one. And isn't Breloom Ian... the one who broke his leg? If so... how did he clutch [at] it? He wouldn't have arms.

Well, actually, Breloom's arms are incredibly stretchy and can extend. This is canon.
And yes, Ian broke his leg.

Okay, that was a LOT of stuff going on, and reading this once a month or so make it hard to remember all the goings-on and characters AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A WHOLE 'NOTHER POST OF THIS? Gods, I'm only halfway done? Why don't I just lie down and die?

I'll get to the ENTIRE SECOND POST'S WORTH OF THIS CHAPTER later this weekend.

Signature gold right there, my friend. XD

Seems like there is a lot of cliches being espoused this chapter. Which isn't bad... it just is what it is. It struck me that this is the third or fourth one I read.

Well, yeah, there's quite a few. Though that's just an old saying, not really a cliche in my opinion. Just a piece of wisdom that's been around a while.

I like that. Fun description.

It was fun to write.

I liked it, but then it got a bit overplayed. This was the third use, in a fairly quick succession of, of "hiss". Just seems a touch repetitive.

Fixed, now a lot less repetitive.

Should be "who", not "whom". Who/whom is one of those really obnoxious rules that is hard to get right, and really, you're not entirely wrong to just use "who" in any circumstance if you're not sure. It's gaining traction as the permanent correct usage in a society that has a hard time figuring out "whom". Basically, "whom" can never be the subject of a clause. Which is to say, it can't be followed by a verb (like here, "...WHOM his knew friends WERE...". Whom is mostly appropriate when following a preposition. "WHO KICKED the ball?" versus "The ball was kicked BY WHOM?"

It's been a while since I've gotten a major grammar explanation from you. I missed them. That cleared that up for me, thanks.

I don't like the "he SAW that it FELT". Maybe "he FOUND that it felt"? Or just " comforted when he FELT that it was just like..."

Fixed.

Speaking of obscure grammar rules that are really losing their place in today's society: you shouldn't end sentences in a preposition. It's not "correct", but, like with "whom", this rule is losing traction in society since EVERYONE does it. This *should* be "the adventures ON WHICH they'd been", but that reads as pretentious 100% of the time. Might be easier to fudge the whole thing and just say "retelling of their adventures to that point". or something.

Hmm, good point. And I fixed it so that it sounds better.

With everything going on, I feel we lose sight a lot of Leo's [potential] guilt over being deceitful about his past. Nice to bring that back up. It's one of those momentum-building lies; the longer you go without telling the truth, the worse it will be when it finally emerges. And after a point, which was crossed a LONG time ago, it might already be better to just let it go and hope that moment never comes. But we all know it will...

This is true, that I didn't play off his guilt enough. But, we will, I have plans for it.

This was SUCH a cliche moment, and EVERY READER knew he wasn't going to make a big reveal here, but still... it was handled well enough that, in my head and despite my knowing it wasn't going to happen, I kept thinking "do it do it do it do it Do It Do It DO IT DO IT DAMN IT!"

Well, yeah, it's cliche, and I VM'd you about it. But, I'm glad I could make you think like that when reading it.

Woo....finished. Now... don't ever do anything remotely like this again.

No promises.

Knightfall signing off...

[Knightfall]

Warning: Some parts of this chapter reach the PG-14/5 rating and might be a little disturbing for some readers. It is only for a scene, but still, be warned.

Chapter Twelve: Ethics

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“She will be the greatest scientific development the world has ever seen. Efficient, incorruptible, impartial, curious … She will be the cornerstone of this company. Her mind may be a tad … disjointed at first. We must keep observe her closely during the early trials. Whatever happens, she must not remember, or else the entire project is a failure. If this works, she will be greater than all of us. We will have done what only the legends of old could do: we will have created sentient life.”
--Project Report, Martor Serperior, Senior Researcher of the Department of [Redacted for Security Purposes]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We hired you because you had a set of abilities that were … unique, even for your species. Your hesitation is making me regret this decision immensely.” The yellow, bipedal Pokemon cringed as he heard his employer’s chastising voice yet again. He just couldn’t bring himself to carry out such a heinous act. If he did, Darkrai would surely snatch his soul on its way to the afterlife in Elysian.

The Pokemon looked at the prisoner chained to the iron table in front of him. The Breloom looked horrid: his skin was almost as white as chalk, the spore cap had wilted and on the verge of deathhe, and his right leg twisted at an unnatural angle. This was on top of the numerous angry-red gashes and dark blue bruises that covered the prisoner’s skin like a macabre tattoo.

“You can’t seriously expect me to do this, right?” he asked, the small metal pendulum shaking in the air in time with his unsteady hand.

“I do. You were expected to remain ethically ambiguous, and so far, you are not living up to your promise. If you weren’t the only one within a hundred miles who could do this operation, I would personally escort you back to Mount Travail penitentiary where you can rot until Arceus’s trumpets sound and his Hall opens,” the voice--cold and emotionless-- sneered. The yellow-furred Pokemon gulped nervously as he approached the barely conscious Breloom, holding out his pendulum out in front of him as far as he could.

Hypno concentrated his energy into the round, metal object he had fashioned himself upon evolving. A thin aura of white energy traveled up the length of his arm and snaked its way down to the metal artifact. His focus nearly broke when the captive Pokemon groaned and his bloodshot eyes flickered open.

“Pay him no heed, Hypno. His body is under the effects of a Stun Seed serum combined with repeated Petrify Orb radiation exposure. He can not move, much less speak. Now, commence the operation. No delays or else. I will be watching from another room,” the voice ordered as its owner walked through an unseen metal door that slammed behind it ominously.

The white energy had metamorphosed into a shimmering purple as it congregated on the pendulum. Hypno took a deep breath as he held it up to the Breloom’s forehead, his paw trembling as he prepared to begin. I’ve done a lot of wrong in my life, especially to that kid and his brother. But this … this is beyond wrong! He thought as he muttered a small prayer to the Dragons for the unfortunate prisoner before him.

“No delays, Hypno. We must know what he has seen. Once you have access, please project the feed to myself and my colleagues. Now.” Hypno closed his eyes as he forced the mass of purple energy to shoot at the Breloom point-blank and begin burning through his head into his mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo could not breathe. This was not by his own doing, as far as he could tell, but rather, due to the hand clasped firmly around his neck. He had simply leaned against a crate after finishing the arduous task Torrent ordered them to do and had dozed off. His body needed only a few minutes of uninterrupted sleep, but, as the hand choking him squeezed even harder proved, he was denied that pleasure.

He had found himself face to face with a tall figure whose visagewas lost in the black hood of the tattered robe he wore. Leo had said nothing as he tried to find any features of the figure’s face, yet nothing but the yawning abyss of darkness was behind the hood.

It said nothing as it stretched out its arm towards him, the robe falling away to reveal a distinctively human arm and hand. The limb was withered and wrinkled as if it was as ancient as time itself. Leo was frozen to the spot as the hand slowly grasped his shoulder, each finger coming down after the other. Leo cringed as he felt the dirty, yellowed nails scrape his scales as the fingers curled on his body.

“My child … Why do you flee from me?” the voice sounded as cold and hollow as wind blowing through the leaves of forgotten forests. It was not a question that Leo was supposed to answer, as his throat remained as frozen as the rest of his body.

“Can you not see that the Fates will not allow you safe passage? Yours is a cursed existence, from the moment you arrived in this world. The Furies in hell have not yet let your mind sleep from the dying world you tried to forsake in both mind and body,” it continued, the words floating through the dark air and around Leo’s head where they swirled in cryptic messages.

It bent down to face him directly; the void where the face should have been staring at Leo. Its raspy breathing exhaled vile air into Leo’s face that smelled of a rotting body. The Charmeleon’s heart started beating wildly as panic began to set in.

“You. Why do you flee? You have a debt to pay, yet you refuse to give the amount owed. Why do you flee?” The hand on Leo’s shoulder continued to tighten its grip. He wanted nothing more than to tear away from the figure, yet his feet refused to obey his mind’s commands. The dark air instantly froze, sapping the warmth away from Leo’s body as well as his will to move.

“The Deities have cursed your existence, the Fates and Furies will drag you over hot coals, and Erebus calls out for your name. You have cheated me before, the divine intervention of the Prophet notwithstanding. Your soul is demanded. Surrender it peacefully, else I will tear it from you.” A shudder ran through the robed demon’s body after the revelation.

Leo finally felt the invisible bonds that sealed his mouth loosen and melt away. His voice was weak, almost inaudible, but it echoed through the void nonetheless.

“What are you?” In response, a burst of wind tore through the world, knocking Leo off his feet. The cloaked tormentor loomed above, somehow retaining its iron grip on his shoulder. Suddenly, the hand let go and moved up to Leo’s neck. The boney fingers closed around it with inhuman strength, leaving little room for air to travel.

“Elysium rejected you. Erebus demands you. Surrender unto me, Charmeleon.” Leo could only watch in strangled horror as the flesh of the arm and the hand around his neck started to bubble and boil. Folds of fat oozed from the limb and ran in thick rivulets across Leo’s scales above his chest. Boiled blood escaped from the fizzling flesh as a series of toxic vapors. The sickening smell of iron diffused through the air quickly, leaving Leo gasping for a breath he no longer had access to. The skin melted and hung by the ribbons of decaying muscle tissue until they dropped away leaving only the bleached exterior of the bones behind. The finger bones of the hand clicked together as they tightened even more around Leo’s throat.

“Why do you continue to cheat me, Leo? The future does not hold promises of relief, only me with a promise to escort you to Erebus. Why must you prolong your own suffering?” The decayed arm suddenly lifted Leo high into the air. Leo’s neck started to burn and blister as the bones heated up as they gripped tighter.

Leo gasped and sputtered incoherent words as his mind felt the effects of the prolonged withdrawal of air, but blissful unconsciousness refused to come to him. He tried to claw and raise his legs to kick at the arm, but as soon as he touched the bones, his nerves screamed in agony as demonic heat scorched them, forcing Leo to halt his attempt at escape.

“I will ask this only once more: Why do you flee? The world has rejected you; where else can you turn but Erebus?” it said as it held Leo over the void. Despite his best efforts to squirm and kick himself free, the bones singed his scales with every touch.

“You cannot outrun Fate, as the Prophet has decreed it so. Go back to whence you came and consider these words, elseways the worst will befall.” With those words the cursed hand released Leo’s neck and the Charmeleon suddenly jarred awake, gasping for breath as he slammed the back of his head into the hard wood of the crates.

His chest rose and fell quickly as he tried to coax air back into his starved lungs. That-- That dream-- no--nightmare. That-- It felt so real! Leo slowly brought his claws up to his neck, and, to his amazement, there was a ring of small blisters where the hand had grabbed.

“N-no... It couldn’t have been real... I couldn’t have been... ” he tried to tell himself as he cautiously got to his feet. He looked around. Thankfully, he only seemed to have been asleep for a minute or so, and thus avoided the attention of Torrent or one of his teammates.

The many Pokemon of the camp continued moving around as usual. Leo could see Jay and Noah undergoing another sparring match, but this time supervised by Torrent himself, while Kelly talked to the Flygon, Sonic, while they ate their rations of berry soup.

Rubbing the sides of his head, he wondered just how bad the visions and nightmares were going to get, and when would that fiend finally leave him alone.

Who would possibly know about these sorts of things? he thought for a moment as he watched Jay deliver a quick right hook to the side of Noah’s head, causing the dazed Dewott to stumble about comically.

Wait a minute! That Pokemon from this morning… That … Alakadabra? Quark, the healer. He might know something, Leo realized with an involuntary attempt to snap his claws against each other. He quickly jogged through the camp, dodging walking Pokemon as he looked for the gold-colored medic among the aisles of tents and crates.

Sharply rounding a corner, he collided into a familiar green reptile. The rebound from the impact pushed the Charmeleon backwards and made him fall flat on his back. Groaning, Leo looked up and saw the frowning face of Blade outlined in the high noon sun.

“You alright there, Leon?” the Grovyle asked, kneeling down next to the downed Charmeleon. “I didn’t see you until you were inches away. Does anything hurt?” Blade quickly examined Leo, making sure there were no obvious signs of injury.

“It’s Leo,” Leo coughed as he slowly sat up and shook his head clear. “My name is Leo, not Leon,” he told the Grovyle, who gave a small chuckle.

“Well, cut me some slack, it has been a while since we last properly talked. And, I guess you’re fine, then. However, might I ask what are you doing here? This is the barracks area. I’m only here to fetch some documents for Torrent; what’s your excuse?” Blade asked as he offered Leo his claw, which the Charmeleon accepted and pulled himself up off the ground.

“I’m looking for Quark. You know where he is? I need to talk with him,” Leo answered him, dusting the dirt off his scales. Blade scratched his head in thought.

“Well, I’m pretty sure he’s in his tent meditating as he usually does. If not, he’s probably mending some poor sucker’s broken arm in the training area. His tent is the next row over with a white circle on the side. You can’t miss it,” Blade directed, pointing his claw down the row of tents. Leo thanked the Grovyle with as much sincerity as he could muster before he continued his trek through the rows of tents. Following Blade’s directions, he easily found the tent in question. The large white circle contrasted greatly with the dull green of the rest of the dwellings.

Cautiously, Leo poked his head through the front flaps, trying to be mindful to the Pokemon’s privacy if he was even there. The interior of the tent –much like Noah’s—was bigger on the inside than the exterior let on; Quark had room for two cots alongside his own hammock and an entire corner for his tools and possessions.

The Pokemon himself was floating crossed-legged several off the ground in the center of the tent, his eyes closed in concentration. Upon entering the room, the Alakazam’s body twitched slightly in reaction to the Charmeleon.

“Well, I knew I was going to be interrupted today,” he stated as he gave a long, soft sigh.

“Umm, I’m sorry, sir. I could come back later if—“ Leo began apologizing as Quark shifted his legs out from underneath him and dropped to the ground.

“Nonsense, I was expecting you if anything. You were taking a while so I decided to meditate to pass the time. Now, tell me, what troubles you so much to want to come to me?” the healer asked as he recalled his two silver spoons from the opposite side of the room with his powers.

Leo was puzzled, his thoughts were busy trying to make sense of the abrupt announcement. He expected me? Does he already know about my dreams?
He was about to ask his question when the mustached Pokemon suddenly hushed him and summoned a small turquoise sphere from among the pile of bags and items in the corner. He held the glass item in his hands before raising it up and hurtling it down onto the ground where it shattered and produced a small shockwave that pulsed through the air. The wave passed right over Leo with no side effects, despite him bracing himself for the worst as he remembered his last experience with the mystical latent power of the Orbs.

“I do not wish our conversation to be overheard, nor do you, correct?” the healer asked as he brushed aside the tiny fragments of glass with his foot. Leo simply nodded, as the many sounds outside the tent suddenly dimmed and fell silent. “So, now you may begin. Please tell me what is the matter.”

Leo had absolutely no idea on where to start, much less how to possibly explain everything that had been forced upon him since the second he woke up in this strange world. I can’t tell him everything. Though where should I start? I’ll sound like a lunatic if I say “I’ve been haunted by something that messes with my head every so often just for its own damn pleasure” That’ll go over nicely, right… he thought glumly. Quark seemed to notice the Charmeleon’s inner turmoil.

“Do not fret about sounding insane. I have heard from Pokemon who have been subjected to far stranger circumstances. Go ahead and state your woes,” the healer calmly reassured. “But, if you feel like you cannot explain your malady well enough to me, I can peer into your mind and find out if you wish. I personally find it easier to ascertain the gravity of my patients’ situation when I see it from their own eyes.”

Leo immediately shook his head. Having yet another being inside his head would surely cause it to burst under the pressure, and Leo wouldn’t have any of that if he could help it.

“I understand, though I promise not to delve into anything you do not want me to see, only the memories of the incidents. I am a professional in this business. I have standards to keep my patient’s privacy above all else. So, unless you can explain it verbally, I do not know how else to help you,” Quark explained, placing his hand on Leo’s shoulder exactly where the dark figure had earlier, causing the Charmeleon to flinch in the recent memory of the scene.

Leo looked up at the Alakazam. Unlike all of the other Pokemon he had seen --with the exception of his teammates-- Quark did not show any malice in his expression, deliberate or not. He seemed … trusting. Reassuring. Comforting. To Leo, it felt like a generous respite from the lies and conspiracies he had somehow survived so far.

“Alright … I give you permission. Just … Please, help me.” Quark nodded as he drew back from Leo, holding his dual spoons out in front of him. Leo watched with a mix of dread and curiosity as the utensils started to glow with a light purple energy.

“Take a deep breath, and relax. This should not take too long and be virtually painless on your part.” Leo took his advice and filled his lungs with as much air as he possibly could and exhaled completely as he watched the healer guide the mauve energy to his forehead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A white-hot dagger burrowed its way through his skull. Twisting away protective bone and scorching every nerve ending it could as it pierced its way into his frontal lobe. The energy paid no heed to the being’s agony as it maliciously tossed aside memory after meaningless memory on its way to the truth of the matter.

And through it all, Ian could not scream.

His mouth, body, and eyes were frozen in place by the infernal seed and residual radiation. He could only look straight ahead, unblinking, as the Hypno psychically drilled into his skull. His vocal cords nearly tore themselves apart as they resounded his silent shriek to the numb ears of his captors.

The energy did not relent as it playfully invaded his already-weakened mind. It burned through his synapses as its master guided it to the nightmarish memories that had brought about the end of his old life. Once it found them, it was not content to simply take them back to its master like a fetching dog. No. It had to show them to him once more in every way possible. And he could not look away. His eyes refusing to shut.

And through it all, Ian could not scream.

They came without mercy. The memories which he had suppressed permanently come back to haunt him.

He saw himself, slightly younger, healthier, and sane. His partners, his closest friends in the world, all happily walking down from the summit of the mountain in the sky. It had been the apex of beauty; the entire sky lighting up as the evening sun and shooting stars painted the atmosphere with mystic hues of fiery orange and royal indigo. The entire world beneath his feet, just waiting for him to snatch it up and claim it as his own. The mountains, the sea, the deserts, the forests, the cities, all pinpricks on the shining horizon.

He had his friends, he had met legendaries, he had fought alongside the heroes of time, and he was happy. Chuck, Sophie, and himself. The team made up of only a Machoke, a Mawile, and a Breloom-- Team Frontier— fought against the untamed wilderness of the Borderlands, the furthest Reaches of the Kingdom, and the unknown provinces of the Colonies and won. They were unstoppable.

The memories violently shifted forward. Within six months he had lost everything.

Ian could not look away as he saw things that should have been kept secret. He heard things not meant for his ears. He had suspicions. He had distrust. He knew that they were hiding something. He told his friends. He got them involved. He had virtually signed their deaths.

Together they dove into the mystery, past the secrets, through the lies, until they heard the pained roar. Until they felt the heartbeat that stirred the seconds to move onwards. Until they saw. Until they all saw too much.

”Get them! Kill them! Rip them apart! They cannot leave!” the cruel voice had screamed as the gods turned their backs on the team. The golems had no emotion. No plea would be heard, nor accepted.

And through it all, Ian could not scream.

They had run. They never stopped. Even as the Machoke screamed as the icicles drove through him without regard. Even as Chuck’s blood froze solid even before it hit the ground. Even as the walls and doors slammed shut. As crystal lights flashed red as sentinels were summoned by the hundreds and thousands; swarming over each other as they sought to fulfill the kill order.

Ian pushed and pulled against his paralysis, if only so he could strangle himself to end the suffering and the memories. However, the radiation refused to let loose the bonds it placed upon his limbs.

And through it all, Ian could not scream.

They came again, time marching ever onwards.

“Come on! Move, Sophie! Move!” he had screamed as the bolts of lightning seared through the air and struck her back. Ian raced back through the hell for her. Snatched up her injured body and ran as the plasma melted the floor where they once stood.

Through the cracks in the walls he dashed. Into the veins and circuits of the beast to find sanctuary. Refusing to look back at the horror.

Again, they came. Three days. It had been three days since their lives were destroyed by his inane pursuit for knowledge. It was all his fault. All of it. Sophie forgave him as they wandered through the forgotten paths of the dead. Light was their enemy as the Porygon sentinels searched every crevice and alley for the two dissenters.

He had wanted to die. To turn back time so that he never existed. She kept him from throwing himself into the abyss, if only barely. From throwing away his life. With promises of possible survival around every unexplored corner. He listened. Together, they survived. Just as before against the wilderness, now against their fellow Pokemon. They were the remnants of Team Frontier and nothing could stop them. She promised they would find a way out.

Time passed with every beat of the captive heart. Months they spent together in the walls, plotting, going over maintenance charts for holes in the walls, stealing food. His body felt weak, but his mind was still clear. He went above and beyond for her. He fought against the sentries, he sabotaged the food storage, he did it all for her. Even in the darkest of dungeons, he had found a light in her, and that was all he needed to live. She his angel in this abyssal hell.

His muscles tightened slightly as his damaged body worked to filter out the radiation and the seed extract that kept him frozen, but it could not work fast enough.

Together, they planned. Together they attempted to escape. Together they failed. And together they survived to do it all again as part of the cycle that now ruled their lives. Their time in between surviving spent talking of the days of the past. On their time at the apex of the sky.

And through it all, Ian could not scream.

Time moved again. It was their final shot. All other paths had been sealed save this one. Across the chasm, through the door, to the sea and the light. The outside was just beyond. Freedom called to them both, an intoxicating drug. They ran over the bridge. Then the world fell out from under them. Sentinels swarmed both ends. Regice awaited the final kill order from its master.

“I won’t allow for any mistakes this time. Now you both may join your leader and explore the depths of hell together! A team once more!” the wicked sovereign yelled as the frozen golem growled and raised its arm at them. Sentinels rushed the bridge, trapping him and his partner.

The stone beneath their feet shattered as spears of ice rammed into the foundation. He grabbed her as they fell through the air, the rock, and unfortunate sentinels also claimed by gravity. For an eternity they felt the rushing air threaten to rip their grip on each other apart as the churning water rose up from the darkest places in the earth to meet them.

He could not look away from the projected memory. He needed to see her again, even if only for a second more. To prove that she had been real. That she had been there for him. That she wasn’t some illusion his shattered mind produced.

And through it all, Ian could not scream.

The dark water was colder than the frost that sliced through his skin. His hand was ripped from hers as the current sucked him down into the frozen hell. Salt water stung his eyes as he kicked and flailed against the current. He could see her, sinking to the bottom as if a fallen angel banished from heavens. Ian clawed across the rocky surface, his lungs burning from lack of air.

Please, please still be alive!

He wrapped his arms over her, scooping the Mawile from off the sea-floor. His head was spinning, the outer edges of his vision going dark as his body circulated the last of the oxygen to his head. Faint light shimmering down from the surface far above marked his target.

Please, Dialga, don’t let me be too late!

He broke through the surface, his body shaking with cold and lack of air. Even as he gasped for lung-fulls of life-giving sustenance, he hefted Sophie so that her head was above the freezing liquid as well. His legs were barely able to keep him and his partner afloat and were losing energy rapidly. He grasped around madly for something to grab onto in the middle of the massive underground lake fed by the sea.

“Sir? Is that enough?” A pause.

“No. Go deeper.”

The energy from the Hypno’s intrusion into Ian’s head was like a spear slamming through his skull, yet the Stun Seed in his body kept him from passing into unconsciousness or even death itself. His nerves flared as the purple energy dug into his memories with a renewed fervor.

Ian’s past self suddenly felt something floating in the water. Its blocky, polygon-build shape marking it as a sentinel. It give a low, electric moan as its eyes flickered on and off. Enemy or not, Ian did not care. He grabbed a hold of the Porygon that bobbed on the surface and shoved Mawile on top of it as he kept a grip on the bottom, propelling them all forward toward an unknown shore.

Please! Please! Let her live!

And through it all, Ian could not scream.

The memories shifted. No longer did they form visions, but only segments of voices, screams, and blurs of pain.

”Breathe! Breathe! Please, breathe!”

The halls of forgotten stone paid them no heed, no consolation, so mercy. The sentinel traveled with him, grateful that his life was spared.

“Please! Please! Don’t leave me!”

The path wound on endlessly. His legs were weak; he could not carry her further. He slumped against the stone, defeated at long last.

“No! No! No! Breathe! Please! Please!”

The specters arrived, the prophet at their head. Their sheltered colony untouched by even the far reaches of the evil above. Not even their powers could save her. She was lost. Yet another casualty wrought his desire for the truth.

“Sophie! Sophie, please don’t leave me! Please don’t leave me…”

Her form was taken. The wicked lords above rejoiced, while the specters lamented that her soul could not pass to Elysian. She would remain chained to the earth. They restored the sentinel, upgraded, an enemy no longer. They cured him of physical wounds, but the mental scars remained and infected his mind forevermore.

“Please… Don’t leave me alone. I need you…”

The prophet came to him, aware of his loss. He promised that he would get out. That saviors would be brought to him. That he would find her. That he would only have to wait and made sure their path was clear when the time came.

“I love you…”

They flashed before him. The climb back up. The despair. How Vertex came to his side. His voice of reason. The deterioration. Rotting behind the walls. Months passing. Then the fateful day. The sentinels. The golem of ice. His leg. The torture.

“Enough. I have seen enough. You may stop,” The voice of evil, the one that started it all. The one who killed his leader. The one that sent them into hiding. The one who ordered their deaths atop the chasm. The one who forced another to torture him.

Immediately the energy dissipated, leaving his head and closing up the wounds as it retreated back into the Hypno’s pendulum.

“We no longer need him. Tell them to put him back in his cell. He can rot forever there.”

And so they did. In the blink of an eye, his frozen body was cast down onto the grimy floor of the dungeon next to Vertex. Hours later, the radiation finally let loose his body, and the residue of the Stun Seed sweated out through his pores.

Ian screamed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No sooner than the Alakazam entered his mind, Leo was blasted backwards. His body tumbled along the ground of the tent in pain as psychic forces suddenly seized him and lifted him to face the gasping healer.

“Y-you.. You! Demon! Possessed! Abomination!” Quark screamed as he held his crossed spoons out toward Leo. With a furious yell, he concentrated another psychic blast aimed at the Charmeleon. It felt as is a wrecking ball slammed into his front as he was again blasted into the ground. Groaning, Leo attempted to raise his arms, but was prevented when Quark pressed his clawed foot down on his back.

“Devil! You play host to the prince of demons! You, monster!” Quark gasped as he pressed down harder on Leo’s back, pinning him against the ground. “It is good you came to me, fiends such as you cannot be allowed to roam about the world.” Leo heard a loud humming from above his head and he knew that the medic was planning on going through with his words.

“Wait! Wait! I haven’t done anything!” Leo cried, tears beginning to form in his eyes and run down his face. Despite all of what he had been through, he never felt so close to actual death before. Even when Nexus sliced open his stomach, it felt more distant than the raw psychic energy pulsing inches above his head.

“It is not you, Charmeleon, but the monstrosity that haunts you that must be eliminated. And unfortunately, both of you are intertwined, inseparably so. I swore an oath to Cresselia long ago to destroy creatures that demons such as him bond themselves to,” Quark hurriedly explained, as if impatient to rid himself of the infernal Pokemon beneath him. Through the immense panic that coursed through his body, Leo tried to think something—anything— to forestall his imminent execution.

“Please! Don’t! I’ll do anything! Please!” Leo pleaded as he heard the humming get even louder. He felt the heat of the energy already burning into his skull.

“Gah!” Quark suddenly grunted as Leo felt his body jerk upwards into the air. It felt as if he was being held up by the skin of his neck like some insolent pup being disciplined by its mother. He saw the room twist around him until he was face to face with the fuming healer.

“Listen to me well, boy. I will not kill you this time, but mark my words. If you come within twenty feet of me again, I will rip you apart atom by atom,” he hissed. Within an instant, Leo was blinded and felt the ground underneath his wobbling feet once again. Once his vision returned enough for him to see, he was surprised when he found himself standing in the back row of the small audience watching the sparring match between Jay and Noah.

“Leo? When did you get here?”

Leo looked to his left. There sat Kelly and a space beyond her, Sonic. The Jolteon looked up at him quizzically as she awaited an answer. He was still dazed out of his mind from the quick succession of his nightmare and the encounter with Quark, but he managed to put on a smile. Despite the fact that his vision seemed to blur on the edges, he pushed through and endured it.

“Recently,” he told her with a small grin. There was a cheer from the small crowd. All three of them looked up to see a gasping Jay land a vicious uppercut under Noah’s chin. The Dewott stumbled backwards in the sand as Jay pounced forward. The Riolu curled his right paw into a glowing fist and slammed it against Noah’s head.

Leo watched as the once over-confident Dewott dropped like a stone into the sand. There was no count for him to get up; the match was over. Jay straightened up as he lowered his arms. Leo could see the signs of the battle on the Riolu: he was breathing hard, his fur was soaked with a mixture of sweat and water, and he seemed to sport a few small cuts on his arms and legs that were glistening with fresh blood.

Jay gave a mock bow as the crowd cheered one final time before slowly diffusing into the camp before Torrent chastised them for disregarding their duties to watch the fight. Jay strode over to them; the wide grin on his face seemed to dissuade the fact that he was barely standing from the fight.

“It’s about time someone did that. Excellent work, Riolu.” The Feraligatr was beaming as he hopped down from the makeshift chair of crates he used to spectate the match. He walked over the sand and hefted Noah’s unconscious form into the air with one arm. He walked the rest of the way over to them and handed the Dewott over to the sand dragon. “Before you take him to Quark to wake ‘im up, I just want to thank you, Riolu,” Torrent said as he clapped a webbed hand on Jay’s shoulder.

“Y-You’re welcome, sir. And, my name’s Jay, sir,” Jay told the general as loud as he could. “And, sir? Could you please move your hand? Noah hit it with a Water Gun earlier…” Jay grimaced as reported his condition to Torrent. The general immediately released his grip on Jay’s shoulder.

“Well, go get yourself checked out by Quark and do whatever he says in order to be one-hundred percent again. I think we can expect big things from you, Jay. With a bit of training, we can eventually have you rival any Pokemon in the camp. And then, there’s always evolution to think about, so just keep that in mind. Now go,” he ordered as he walked off to inspect the sentry posts.

It did not take them long to find the healer’s tent, though Leo froze a good distance away from the entrance while Sonic carried Noah inside while Jay followed close behind. Kelly opted to remain next to Leo, who still would not bring himself a single step closer into the Alakazam’s range. The Charmeleon shifted uncomfortably as Quark shot a piercing gaze as he accepted his injured teammates into his dwelling. The Alakazam’s eyes glowed magenta and instantly a faint line traced itself in the dirt in front of the claws on Leo’s feet.

“So,” Kelly began in an effort to shatter the glassy covering of silence that had came over them. “What were you going to tell me this morning before we were interrupted? I’m curious to know,” she inquired as she sat on her hind legs next to him.

A slight urge to tell her everything suddenly shot into his head, but was quickly snuffed out by what Leo assumed was the remainder of his logic. You are not telling anyone anything.

“It wasn’t anything important,” he sighed as he gave into his thought’s will and kept the truth away from her once again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shining rays of the afternoon sun gently passed through the tall, elegant glass windows crafted by the best Magmar glassworkers under King Alexander Lucario. The royal court represented a fading era in the Kingdom. A time of utmost opulence and luxury. When riches seemed to rain down from the skies from the rapid discoveries of exploration teams into the Far Reach and the Outer Colonial Provinces. Guilds sprung up all over the Near and Far Reach territories as King Alexander signed the Open Dungeon Declaration that gave rescue, exploration, tracker, and Federation teams unlimited access and finder’s rights to any and all resources found within the mazes.

Towns and trading posts shot up around trade routes and dungeon entrances and the economy boomed and grew exponentially. Merchants and entrepreneurs sought ways to find more ways to trade and grew their own wealth as they set up shops in the Colonies and established routes and sea lanes to the profitable island trade.

Silver City became the largest port in the known world and Alexander employed the best shipbuilders to create an fledgling navy to project the huge merchant fleet. The city flourished along with the entire Kingdom.

And then, the assassination. The poison dart that ended Alexander, left Nickolas with the crown, and began the slow collective decay of the Kingdom.

The royal court was a large rectangular room. Light wood covered every possible section of wall and smooth marble slabs fitted to make up the floor. The silver wave symbol of the Kingdom was made of actual silver poured into the floor in the center of the room.

It was in this last bastion of an era long-gone by that two Pokemon conversed behind shut doors and partly blinded windows. They slowly walked along the corridor of gilded windows.

“Nickolas, I worry for you. Going against the Senate and Darney like that. It’s … it’s asking for trouble. You can’t do that, not anymore. It doesn’t matter what you believe, your absolute power is gone,” a large orange tortoise with a blackened shell commented to the Lucario as they passed under the marble arch of a hallway.

The king simply laughed. “Let them do what they may, my friend. They will continue to debate and argue until the stone beneath them crumbles into dust. And besides, I was merely offering military advice, nothing more,” he replied as he opened a small ornately-decorated door and directed the Torkoal to enter. The two Pokemon emerged in a small promenade inside an indoor garden.

“Listen to me, Nickolas. I don’t know what happened to you these past few days, but you cannot brush aside the Council or Darney. They are threats, your majesty,” the old fire-tortoise warned as they slowly walked past a marble pillar that was choked with a thick, coiling trunk of a massive vine. Its tendrils were snakes as they slithered across the glass ceiling, draping the botanical room in a cool shade.

“I know what I’m doing, Cicero. Darney and the Senate can do what they want. I am still in control here,” the Lucario said as he carefully inspected a fresh bud on the side of the vine.

“It is that kind of thinking that resulted in my town being sacked and captured. That violence will spread through the Kingdom if you do not to take heed...” Cicero replied as the bud suddenly snapped off the branch and fell to the floor, withered and dead.

“Thank you for your concern, old friend. I appreciate it. But, I am perfectly fine. Now, please, I need the report of the northern front near the Great Canyon and how the second siege on Treasure Town is going. Also, I need to see the roster of draftee teams we gathered for military service,” the Lucario sternly ordered, dropping any pretense of unprofessionalism from his tone.

The Torkoal grimly nodded before reaching with his head around to pull out a sheaf of rolled parchment tied by strands of Caterpie silk from one of the empty spaces in his giant back shell. Without a word-- due to carrying the papers in his mouth--, he delivered the documents to the monarch, who sliced through the silk with the spike on his paw before reading through them one by one, his eyes quickly scanning each line of print.

“Well,” he said holding up the first document, “The siege is going well. We should regain control of the main square of the city by tomorrow and the port the day after, and the outskirts should fall to us swiftly after they are cut off from the sea. We’ll have your town back before you know it,” Cicero hummed in acknowledgement as Nickolas flipped over to the second document.

“Well, General Firland seems to be having difficulty dislodging the Colonists from their position on the Hill of the Ancients. Please remind me to contact him afterwards so we can go over a new strategy. The last thing we need is repeat of the Dark Brigade’s disastrous charge in the Bronze Valley,” the king noted as the Torkoal nodded silently. He flipped over to the final piece of parchment. When he reached it, he flipped it over and examined it quickly before turning it on its front once more.

“Cicero? Why is there only one side of a paper filled with team names? There are over nine provinces in the Kingdom. So why is there less than one full sheet of names?” he asked incredulously as he frantically looked about the floor in case one page had fallen somewhere along the line.

“I would assume, my king, that the citizens are beginning to find the war ... tiring. Especially after two full years of fighting and an unbroken stalemate, on Kingdom soil, no less! It’s no surprise that they don’t sign up to fight anymore,” the Torkoal elder chastised.

“Some veteran teams such as Pathfinder, Vector, Gallop, ACT, and Terra finally got around to registering. Though the newer teams don’t look as promising. Darkshadowawesome? Best Friends Forever? Aurashine? Twilightmoon?” he paused halfway down the list of gradually worsening names. “Cicero, tell me, what kind of name is ‘Team JUMP’? Every letter is capitalized. Is it me, or have team names gotten stranger and stranger over the years?” Nickolas asked, slightly bewildered at the list of names. The Torkoal simply shrugged his shell.

“Well,” he wheezed. “I remember my own team name being along the lines of ‘Oran Dancers’, I believe. We subsequently tied our leader to a tree for two days as punishment for such a ridiculous name,” Cicero chuckled as he reveled in the memories of his youth as Nickolas went back to reviewing the document.

“This is just perfect. My army will die of embarrassment at having to fight alongside these teams before they even set foot in a battlefield.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Continued on Next Post

[Knightfall]

Continued From Last Post
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Noah was dreaming. He had been knocked out cold by Jay in their match, but there was no possible way he was awake yet. What he was seeing was not true. It was too vivid, it was too real, it was still intact. The grass, the sky, the clouds, the breeze, it felt too authentic. It had to be a dream. But, no matter how he tried to tell himself that, he couldn’t stop his mind from making his mouth move.

”I’m … home.”

The simple, homely, wooden structures, the limitless skies unimpeded by the surrounding hills, the gently swaying, ancient oak trees from the nearby forest, the Pokemon walking about. Everything was as he remembered and more.

”T-there’s no way. I can’t be back here...” he said, the words barely audible as they slid from his mouth. He cautiously lifted one black foot and took a tentative step forward along the worn dirt path. The small dirt clods on the road broke into dust beneath his feet, just as they did when he used to walk here.

He took another step forward that yielded the same result. He passed under an overhead aqueduct that delivered into town from the nearby river and past the crude signpost that directed the newcomers into town. Noah was about to dash down the road through the town gates to see if it was as he remembered when a cold voice sounded from behind him. His white whiskers twitched slightly.

“Hello, Noah. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

In a single motion, the Dewott grabbed both his scallops, flipped them over in his hands, and twisted around, ready to slice through whoever was behind him. He was an instant away from willing his arms to slice across the intruder when he immediately recognized the creature’s pale, golden eyes and purple skin. His arms froze and he swiftly lowered his razored weapons.

“Oh, it’s only you.” He slapped the twin shells onto his sides and raised a paw towards the ghost. “Long time, no see! How’ve you been?” he exclaimed joyously as the Mismagius simply shook his head and motioned for the Dewott to follow him into a nearby grove of trees. Slightly perplexed, Noah retracted his arm and cautiously looked about the crossroads for any signs of witnesses before following the Mismagius.

The small pocket of trees that provided a small respite for travelers from the sun seemed much greener than Noah remembered. He recalled the small, crystal-clear spring that glistened in the thin rays of the morning sun that penetrated the tops of the trees and the small, faded signpost next to it saying who originally dug out the well.

Sunlight seemed to darken as the two passed into the thicker areas of the glade. Noah was a little unnerved at how silent his companion was being, but continued to tag along until they reached a small clearing in the shallow depths of the woods. It was then that the ghost turned around and faced Noah.

“I take it you’ve been well since we last spoke? I do hope you’ve been living alright,” he asked, a rare tone of concern leaking into his words.

Noah shrugged as he leaned against a nearby tree. “Well, I’ve been doing pretty good lately. Can’t complain too much.” he said as he reached up and snapped a low twig off the large trunk. He then focused on balancing the end of the stick on the edge of his paw while the ghost floating opposite him responded.

“I’m very glad to hear that, Noah. It’s the first good news I’ve heard in a long while, actually.” The entire glade seemed to drop several degrees in temperature as the sun ominously retreated behind a bank of clouds. Noah’s eyes never left the wobbling stick on the tips of his paws on his right hand.

“So, I’m guessing things haven’t been so great for you lately, huh? What’s up?” he asked as he felt a small breeze whip through the boughs and knock down the twig just as he got it to stand upright on his paw. As he raised his paw to the trunk again and felt around for a replacement stick, he saw the Mismagius bow his head slightly.

“I wish I could tell you, my friend. Though I’m afraid that it’s highly classified. Regardless, I do need to ask you a quick question. That’s why I am here.” Noah found another small branch: thin, but sturdy. It would do just fine. He bent the poor offshoot until it snapped off the trunk in his paw.

“Go ‘head. Ask away,” he dismissively said as he became engrossed in finding the perfect point of balance again. The Mismagius looked at him for a moment incredulously.

“You really haven’t changed, have you?” The Dewott just grinned as he carefully moved his arm underneath the tottering stick. “Ah-hem. Anyways. You didn’t have anything to do with ... recent events. Did you?” Noah instantly stopped his antics, the stick falling to the ground with an organic clatter as it hit the tree on its way down.

”Well, assuming I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m going to say that I did not. It’s purely coincidental. Come on, you really think that I’d do something like that?” he replied to the ghost, who just sighed in exasperation.

“I believe you, Noah. But I have to make sure. There’s so few I can trust in times like these,” the ghost explained with a nod.

”So, is that all you’re here for?” The Mismagius did not answer immediately as his eyes glowed a sharp gold and within an instant, the two Pokemon were in the middle of the town square. The center was exactly as Noah recalled: colorful shops lined the plaza, each eagerly displaying their wares in anticipation of the newest traveler. The entire scene seemed to be bathed by a shimmering veil of sunlight that seemed to accent the dream to the point of being a perfect copy of the real thing.

“I wanted to ask you something a bit more personal as well. I couldn’t help but notice the landscape. How long has it been? Noah took a deep breath as he quickly spun in a circle to see the entirety of the town center. Despite his lungs expanding and contracting to take in more air, Noah couldn’t breathe. It was all too real. Everything was too much. His vision began to swim as his mind reeled from lack of oxygen. “Please breathe, Noah. It’s only a dream, but you can still suffocate here.”

With those words his body seemed to finally listen to reason and Noah sucked in generous amounts of air as he leaned against a wooden support beam for the textile shop run by Machamp.

“I’m,” he gasped for the air that seemed to be slow coming. “I’m sorry. I was ... caught up.” The ghost looked about at the stores and simple structures.

“Understandable. Anyone would miss their home after being so rudely chased away over a simple technicality.” he noted as he floated above the flagstone-paved road.

“It’s been three years --two years for me, technically-- since I’ve been here,” Noah said to no one in particular as a small brown and cream furred racoon darted right through his left leg as it playfully ran throughout the plaza.

“So it has. You do not resent me for my actions then, do you? I can sense how much you miss it, even in this dream.”

“No, I don’t. I know why you did what you did and I’m grateful. But, what happened in that passage, I will never forget.” The fabric shop was correct even down to the last detail: minute dust mites swirled around in the sunlight above the neat piles of cloth.

“I did not expect you would. Although, you would be surprised. The saying ‘time heals all things’ does have a truth to it. It’s only if you want to accept it. That’s the limiting factor.”

Noah sighed as he shifted his gaze to the gently sloping hills that surrounded the town. A sharp wind suddenly blew through the town: a startled flock of pigeons flew as a cluster from one tree to another, the projected memories of the residents shivered, the resident Kecleon changed colors in his stall in response to the sudden change in temperature.

“I still think about it. All the time. I can’t leave it behind completely, especially without knowing what happened.” His dream self slowly phased through the front counter and when into the shelves behind the wooden table. The ghost followed suit, although simply appeared through the wall of the shop.

“I know how ... difficult transitioning can be at times. And I understand why you feel the need to come back here in your dreams. There’s little that I can help with there that’s not overly cruel.” The Mismagius floated a respectful distance behind the Dewott, curiously looking over his shoulder as he examined the folded cloth piles.

The cloth did not simply fade into transparency around his paw like he suspected. It rippled and moved as he shifted his own paw. He remembered this fabric. He had slept on blankets made of the same material three years ago. They both had. His lungs began to constrict again, as if his body couldn’t handle the resurgence of sensory memories.

“Perhaps it is best if we went back outside, Noah. It hurts me to see you like this. Please, follow me out of here into the square.” Noah simply numbly ran his right paw through the smooth folds of cloth. He could feel the tangible merchandise imported from Silver in the west that had cost thirty gold Poké three years ago. He felt a slight tug around his torso as the Mismagius psychically pulled him out of the store.

“W-what? What now? Noah asked as he regained his senses in the middle of the square. The ghost released its hold on the Dewott.

“Apparently three years is not enough time for time to heal, despite the cheerful facade you’ve built in front of others. You really must be careful, Noah. I have enough mentally unstable clients already. Noah fell silent as a gentle zephyr blew through the area.

“I must confess something to you, Noah. It seems I am guilty of the sin of omission.”

The entire town seemed to change: the warm, soft breeze that caressed Noah’s skin suddenly grew bitterly cold, the water swiftly flowing down the canals froze over in a thick sheet of ice that cracked the banks, windows all over town were coated in a lattice of thin ice crystals, the leaves on the trees seemed to cease to move and were stiffened and killed by the immediate cold.

“Ever since your unfair exile, I have been doing some ... research, on your behalf. I finally made a slight breakthrough that might be of great interest to you.”

The scene seemed to glow pale white as the frozen ground seemed to reflect the sunlight back into the sky. Even the sun seemed to resonate a bitter cold light as the world below was engulfed by the freezing aura. Noah’s pulse quickened even as his vision started to swim and tilt like a ship in a storm-tossed sea.

“She is alive. I do not know where, but she is alive.”

A strangled cry died in his throat as he fell against a frozen-solid fence. The brittle planks could not support the Dewott and it splintered into thousands of glinting fragments as he fell to the ground on top of them. He could barely tell that the jagged pieces were stabbing through his skin; he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see. The dream was falling apart around him; buildings sizzling into nothingness as if ice cubes on a stove.

“It looks like your mind does not want to go through this right now, but please remember, she is alive. I promise you that. I’m going to wake you up before the dream causes any damage.” Noah felt his body get lighter as the Mismagius slowly reawakened his conscious self.

“I will ... see you later then, Noah? Hopefully in better circumstances. Goodbye, my dear friend. Do be careful in the real world.” Noah felt the world around him shift and rearrange itself under his back. Within an instant he was no longer laying on the shattered fence, but on a pile of soft hay that formed a cushion underneath him.

“Alive ... She’s alive. She’s alive...”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End Chapter Twelve
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Author’s Notes: First off, I’d like to apologize for the extremely long wait in between chapters. I have been busy with school, life, and the new PMD: Gates to Infinity lately (Which is pretty good, I must say). And, I must admit, I was struggling with a bit of writer’s block for the longest time. I just couldn’t find the motivation to write until very recently.
That’s why this chapter, to me at least, seems on the shorter side (you’re welcome, Sid) and, honestly, it just doesn’t feel like a good chapter to me. You may feel differently, and it may be due to the block I had that’s making me feel so crummy about this chapter.

I do hope that you all enjoy this chapter. It allowed me to explore some themes in my writing that I enjoyed doing quite a bit. So, this style may make a resurgence again somewhere down the line.

So ... not a lot of plot-moving-forward happened this chapter. It was another “mostly talking” chapter, but, I did like how parts of it turned out as they add a whole bunch of good stuff to the plot that will be relevant later. I promise that the next chapter will be much more action-oriented and that it will not take as long as this one did (though no promises because April and May are filled to the brim with exam reviews and exams).

I’d like to thank my beta readers (all six of them) for making this story readable. And, as a bit of self promotion, I have been working on a collaboration project with my good friend Pokenutter called Transcending the Abyss. If you could check it out, that would be swell.

Teams JUMP and Pathfinder belong to Pokenutter and Meeker, respectively.

So, yeah, I’ll leave it at that. I’ll catch you all later. Reviews and comments always appreciated.

Knightfall signing off...

[V-Wheeeeeeeeeeeeel]

That...Was...Amazing. * applaude*

[JFought]

I have been busy with school, life, and the new PMD: Gates to Infinity lately (Which is pretty good, I must say).

I've been busy with that game too. Just beat the postgame today actually. Shortest postgame ever.

As for the chapter, we got to learn a bit more about Noah and this 'Ian' character, and possibly the driving force behind Mismagius? If its a Darkarai, I'm going to shoot myself in the head. Just name one appearance in which he ISN'T evil beside the 10th movie (Pokepark 2 doesn't count since     Spoiler:- Pokepark 2 spoiler!:

Show Spoiler

 
he's still the main antagonist
 

) Not like I'm complaining, I just feel its overused. either way, I liked it. Though the scene with Leo and the monster... obviously means something.

[Knightfall]

Thanks V-Wheel and JFought for posting!

Anyways, JFought, Ian and Noah's backstories are possibly two of the most complicated in the entire story, I'm not going to lie. I have to pace them out correctly before I decide enough is enough.

Do you really think I'd go with something so generic for a main villain? No, Darkrai is not in any way involved with the antagonist of my story. His name was mentioned because in my world's belief system, Darkrai is generally seen as a grim reaper-esque figure that would steal evil souls on their way to Elysian.

So don't worry, Dakrai gets to take a break here while the real villains come out to play. And yes, that scene does mean something. Exactly what, not even I'm certain of that...

Knightfall signing off..

[Sound]

As always, it's good to see a new chapter.

He had his friends, he had met legendaries, he had fought alongside the heroes of time, and he was happy. Chuck, Sophie, and himself. The team made up of only a Machoke, a Mawile, and a Breloom-- Team Frontier— fought against the untamed wilderness of the Borderlands, the furthest Reaches of the Kingdom, and the unknown provinces of the Colonies and won. They were unstoppable.

Cannon references incoming! In all seriousness though, I'm surprised to see them. That was fairly cool.

“I love you…”

Awwwww. I hope Leo melts that Regice later.

And then, the assassination. The poison dart that ended Alexander, left Nickolas with the crown, and began the slow collective decay of the Kingdom.

Something simply seems odd. A poison dart seems like an odd choice of weaponry. And, is Alexander a Lucario? If so, then shouldn't he be immune to poison? Or, does it have to do with the mechanics of poison as a tool versus poison as a type? Or, is he simply not a Lucario? Am I overthinking this too much?

“Thank you for your concern, old friend. I appreciate it. But, I am perfectly fine. Now, please, I need the report of the northern front near the Great Canyon and how the second siege on Treasure Town is going. Also, I need to see the roster of draftee teams we gathered for military service,” the Lucario sternly ordered, dropping any pretense of unprofessionalism from his tone.

More references to the cannon. Give 'em hell, Wigglytuff!

“Some veteran teams such as Pathfinder, Vector, Gallop, ACT, and Terra finally got around to registering. Though the newer teams don’t look as promising. Darkshadowawesome? Best Friends Forever? Aurashine? Twilightmoon?” he paused halfway down the list of gradually worsening names. “Cicero, tell me, what kind of name is ‘Team JUMP’? Every letter is capitalized. Is it me, or have team names gotten stranger and stranger over the years?” Nickolas asked, slightly bewildered at the list of names. The Torkoal simply shrugged his shell.

One of the side effects of letting the player name anything. Hey, Darkshadowawesome, tell Cheeseball I said hi.

“Oh, it’s only you.” He slapped the twin shells onto his sides and raised a paw towards the ghost. “Long time, no see! How’ve you been?” he exclaimed joyously as the Mismagius simply shook his head and motioned for the Dewott to follow him into a nearby grove of trees.

Wait a minute. He's talking to Mismagius... And he isn't freaked out?

“I take it you’ve been well since we last spoke? I do hope you’ve been living alright,” he asked, a rare tone of concern leaking into his words.

And Mismagius is friendly towards him? That tears it. Continuity has fallen apart. Arcanines and and Persians may begin living together.

All in all, good chapter. While not the best you've written, it did move some of the story along, such as Ian's past, more on Noah, the scene with Leo and Quark. Though, the column for questions is still about three times larger than the one for answers. Still, gotta keep the readers wanting more, right?

[Knightfall]

Cannon references incoming! In all seriousness though, I'm surprised to see them. That was fairly cool.

Ah, I'm glad you enjoy seeing them. I had not originally intended to have Ian as the same Breloom on Team Frontier, but I got to thinking that Sky never really said what happened to them after Mt. Sky, so I figured that I might as well drag them into this mess of a story.

And, I did make another cannon reference this chapter. If you noticed the Hypno at the beginning of the chapter, he had a thought about two certain brothers...

Awwwww. I hope Leo melts that Regice later.

I really tried my hardest to make that scene emotional. It was hard because I had no idea how much readers have connected with Ian, so I took a risk with making an emotional scene that might have had little impact. So, I'm glad that it seems to have worked.

And that Regice... Yeah, I hope he melts it too.

Something simply seems odd. A poison dart seems like an odd choice of weaponry. And, is Alexander a Lucario? If so, then shouldn't he be immune to poison? Or, does it have to do with the mechanics of poison as a tool versus poison as a type? Or, is he simply not a Lucario? Am I overthinking this too much?

Well, you are right in that Lucario are resistant to the Poison type (yes, his father was a Lucario), but I figure in my universe that an actual poison will kill anything if administered in high enough dosage. So, it had to do with what poison we're talking about. The poison type has little effect, while a poison like a Nidorina's toxin will kill.

More references to the cannon. Give 'em hell, Wigglytuff!

Yeah...

One of the side effects of letting the player name anything. Hey, Darkshadowawesome, tell Cheeseball I said hi.

Heh, I'm glad you liked that scene. I just had to draw reference to that after seeing some of those actual names floating around.

Wait a minute. He's talking to Mismagius... And he isn't freaked out?

And Mismagius is friendly towards him? That tears it. Continuity has fallen apart. Arcanines and and Persians may begin living together.

Hehehe. Oh yes, finally, someone sees that this is odd. Although, I'm afraid that no continuity is broken. There are perfectly reasonable explanations as to why the Mismagius is acting this way. Though, it'll be a few more chapters before those are revealed. It's not as far as you think, I promise.

All in all, good chapter. While not the best you've written, it did move some of the story along, such as Ian's past, more on Noah, the scene with Leo and Quark. Though, the column for questions is still about three times larger than the one for answers. Still, gotta keep the readers wanting more, right?

Thank you. And yes, I know it's far from the best. I acknowledged it in the Author's Notes. I kinda hit a writing slump during that time and I really couldn't motivate myself to make that chapter truly great. It was only after I got the inspiration for Noah's scene did I finally get out of that slump, but by then it was too late for this chapter. I'm glad that you enjoyed Ian and Quark's respective scenes.

And the questions will be answered eventually, but until then, there's little I can do about satiating the desire for answers.

Thank you for posting, I always enjoy your input.

Knightfall signing off...

[Meeker]

Sorry for not reading this earlier. Eh-heh...

A-nyway, good chapter. When I read the second Ian scene, I was shocked by the great description you included. You're very sadistic, to your characters that is. I swear, the music I was listening to while reading it was perfect for the feel that you gave this chapter, especially the second scene with Ian!

I spotted two errors, but I can only find one of them.

There was one where you left out the word "to," but I don't remember exactly where that was.

“W-what? What now?

I think you know where the error is.

Looking forward to the next chapter! Keep it up!

[Azurus]

Sorry I haven't said anything about this, but I have to say, I'm not as impressed with this chapter as some of the others. Not that it's bad, it's just the hopelessness that permeates it, so many low blows to the characters and no good news in sight. That abrakaladazam was exceptionally rude for being professional, seriously, a guy goes to you for help and you blast him away with Psychic energy after finding out his malady.

Anyway, looking forward to a more central focus on the main team next chapter. I still enjoy it, don't let it dwindle.

[Knightfall]

A-nyway, good chapter. When I read the second Ian scene, I was shocked by the great description you included. You're very sadistic, to your characters that is. I swear, the music I was listening to while reading it was perfect for the feel that you gave this chapter, especially the second scene with Ian!

Sorry for not replying earlier. And, thanks! That scene was one I tried hard to make it as wrenching as I could for Ian.

I spotted two errors, but I can only find one of them.

Fixed.

Sorry I haven't said anything about this, but I have to say, I'm not as impressed with this chapter as some of the others. Not that it's bad, it's just the hopelessness that permeates it, so many low blows to the characters and no good news in sight. That abrakaladazam was exceptionally rude for being professional, seriously, a guy goes to you for help and you blast him away with Psychic energy after finding out his malady.

Yes, I do agree. It is far from my better work. I was stuck in a writer's block for the majority of the chapter and, as a result, it seemed pretty hopeless. It was an experiment of mine to see if I can write horror-esque stuff, and, I think it went over fairly well.
Quark has his reasons for trying to hurt Leo. He sensed an evil presence around Leo, and so, automatically did what any sensible Pokemon would have done: try to eliminate it. Well, it's sensible in my story.

Anyway, looking forward to a more central focus on the main team next chapter. I still enjoy it, don't let it dwindle.

Oh yes, the next chapter is mainly focused on Team Salient with the exception of two small scenes. I hope you enjoy it when it comes out. Which should be soon, but I am being bombarded by exams and projects currently, so it is highly possible that is will be delayed.

Thank you both for your responses!

Knightfall signing off...

[Sidewinder]

the spore cap had wilted and on the verge of withering,

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't the two bolded words almost have the exact same meaning? It made me stumble a bit as I read it

He had found himself face to face with a tall figure whose face

Three face's that close together kinda bugged me. You might replace the last one with a word like, 'visage'. Just a thought.

each finger coming down after the other. Leo cringed as he felt the dirty, yellowed nails scrape his scales as the fingers curled on his body.

Wonderfully done on that line. Pretty much gave me goosebumps. When I read that I got pumped lol

“The Deities have cursed your existence, the Fates and Furies will drag you over hot coals, and Erebus calls out for your name. You have cheated me before, the divine intervention of the Prophet notwithstanding. Your soul is demanded. Surrender it peacefully, else I will tear it from you.”

Cranked it up once again I see. Leo is brave, and even more so when I think he's going to falter, and I like how you made him actually scared here. Main or 'heroic' characters have the tendency to be overly courageous against certain things sometimes. While I do realize that sometimes it is real courage, what you did here with Leo really humanized him even more for me. Or should I say, 'pokemonized'...haha

The skin melted and hung by the ribbons of decaying muscle tissue until they dropped away leaving only the bleached exterior of the bones behind. The finger bones of the hand clicked together as they tightened even more around Leo’s throat.

My hat is off to you on that one. Beautifully described

“Do not fret about sounding insane.

I love that you included that. I've always been really intrigued by the possibillites that psychic Pokemon could bring to the table. I mirrored something like that happening in my own fic. Haha, there goes privacy when you're talking to one of them. Loved it

I'm not going to quote specific portions of the bit where we relived Ian's memories mainly because I couldn't find anything to quote. It was really involving and gripping in a way that I stopped trying to find things to mention and just read it because I was having such a fun time reading it. This is one of the moments to where you could have had quite a few grammatical errors and I wouldn't have even cared. That sequence was wonderful

as he gave into his thought’s will and kept the truth away from her once again.

That's going to come back to bite him in the ***, er, tail, eventually

flipped them around in his hands, and twisted around,

Hmm, second time in this chapter that I caught the same word being used in rapid sucession. Believe me man, I'm notorious for doing it myself, and it's a habit I've been trying to break. Both of us are smarter than that. Just try and be aware of that...you dig?

All in all, nicely done sir. Not a lot happened, and I felt like you were right when you called this more of a 'talking chapter', but I enjoyed myself. I'm excited for the next installment

[Knightfall]

Thank you so much for your review!

The mistakes have been fixed, I really need to stop using the same word in close proximity.

Wonderfully done on that line. Pretty much gave me goosebumps. When I read that I got pumped lol

Cranked it up once again I see.

Leo is brave, and even more so when I think he's going to falter, and I like how you made him actually scared here. Main or 'heroic' characters have the tendency to be overly courageous against certain things sometimes. While I do realize that sometimes it is real courage, what you did here with Leo really humanized him even more for me. Or should I say, 'pokemonized'...haha

My hat is off to you on that one. Beautifully described

You have no idea how good it feels to see you say that. XD
Seriously, I'm glad you think those "darker" scenes went over well. It was a new style I was trying out and I'm happy it seems to have worked.

Leo is a character that I tried to give the realest response I can give him. He's somewhat of a cowardly individual (or, at least in my eyes), but he attempts to think things through, or, when there's not time for that, a small bit of adrenaline fueled courage gets him where he needs to be.

And, thanks. Humanizing him (for at his soul, that is what he still is ... possibly) is always fun to do. Keeping characters humble and with real fears and weaknesses has been a major part of my writing, even more so now that I actually know what I'm doing with the story.

I love that you included that. I've always been really intrigued by the possibillites that psychic Pokemon could bring to the table. I mirrored something like that happening in my own fic. Haha, there goes privacy when you're talking to one of them. Loved it.

Psychic types are a personal favorite of mine. They could theoretically read and manipulate any thought or memory with a single brainwave, but, to me, most operate by professional standards and only do what they have permission or authorization to do.

I'm not going to quote specific portions of the bit where we relived Ian's memories mainly because I couldn't find anything to quote. It was really involving and gripping in a way that I stopped trying to find things to mention and just read it because I was having such a fun time reading it. This is one of the moments to where you could have had quite a few grammatical errors and I wouldn't have even cared. That sequence was wonderful.

Yes! That entire scene was the second time I've tried to put emotional writing into my work. The first being with Kelly and Leo in the last chapter. I am very, very glad that you had the reaction you did, because it means I am doing things right.

That's going to come back to bite him in the ***, er, tail, eventually.

Oh most definitely.

Hmm, second time in this chapter that I caught the same word being used in rapid sucession. Believe me man, I'm notorious for doing it myself, and it's a habit I've been trying to break. Both of us are smarter than that. Just try and be aware of that...you dig?

All in all, nicely done sir. Not a lot happened, and I felt like you were right when you called this more of a 'talking chapter', but I enjoyed myself. I'm excited for the next installment

As I said above, it's a habit I need to break. I honestly wish I could see those mistakes before I post, but no matter how many times I, or a beta looks over it, there's always going to be something. I'll be sure to be more careful in the future.

Yes, it was a talking chapter. I wrote this coming out of a writing slump, so it's not the most involved of chapters, but I tried to make up for that with the scenes.

Once again, thank you for your reply and I hope to get the next chapter out soon. It's coming along, but school is getting busy, as it is May, so it's likely to be delayed.

Knightfall signing off...