Wow, thank you guys so much for pointing out such glaring errors - the sleep deprivation was clear in my lack of edits in this one.
To Sid87 -
I kept this moment, although I expanded upon it. I was recently in a play where two characters were fighting with their child, before ultimately slapping her. She ran off, and there was stunned silence, and then inexplicably both began laughing. It's a really weird human response, but sometimes it happens - when bizarre situations occur, sometimes there's nothing for it but to laugh. When I saw West Side Story on Broadway, there was more than one nervous laugh after Tony was shot.I don't love the laughing here. Think about it... if real-life terrorists just attacked the town you live in, and you saw an old friend, would you laugh and basically think "Oh man, remember how we used to play together?". No, you'd probably both be thankful the other is safe and asking if the other's family is okay/hurt. And, if you are people in positions such as these two, you'd immediately go about helping the injured and scared around you.
Wow, ultimate brain fart. Thank you ahaha.Did you miss a word there? He hadn't been WHAT a second ago?
There's a reason they glow...that will be addressed shortlyI like the scene with Natalia waking up. Very nice and well-detailed. But I don't like the "luminous" burns. That makes it sound like they're glowing. Heh.
The explanation for both of these questions can be found in my previous fanfics - but basically, in a nutshell, in Destined, Chase challenged Will to a Pokemon battle - thus both winning his respect, as well as discovering he had a psychic connection with his Pokemon, which gave him a huge advantage in battle.That... is really as good of a reason to stick all these characters together as any. I actually kind of like this setup. How do Chase and Logan know Will, though? He has to know they are safe and extremely competent, otherwise, he's really just endangering THEIR lives by sticking Alec with them. I'm just curious as to how they know each other.
Also, since I missed it earlier... Will is a psychic? How is that? Is that a thing in your story? Are there other people with powers?
Chase has been going through quite a lot of turmoil - which will come to the surface more next chapter. He's basically covering his true intentions - he's not as much of a jerk as he seems.Chase right now seems like the stereotypical "I am too cool for this stuff" likable jerk, but I did enjoy his interactions with Logan previously, so I look forward to their dynamic going forward.
Now for Shadow Lucario -
Actually, that was a very good catch - in my universe, the 'God' is Arceus, and I've used the term 'Arceus knows' before. Consistency is key!I think you mean Arceus. Gawd! If you couldn't tell, I was joking.
Oops!You missed the key you wanted.
Thank you for the positive response after such a long hiatus! I would like to know - at this point, which characters intrigue you most? Which seem too "Gary-Stu"-ish? The last thing I want is generic characters.
You guys are the best.