So, a bit late on this, but here I am.
First off, I'm really enjoying how you've got Alakazam and Scyther playing two sides of Ethan's psyche, and how like his conscionce (Or however you spell that thing...) he completely blows off Alakazam's wisdom. Poor Kazam.
Love the attention to detail, using Scyther's wings to break his focus. Bug Buzz?
You're battle scene. Again, quite violent. Not surprising, just saying, dislocating Scyther's arms (plural!).
Alakazam=Spock. You don't piss off the Vulcan. He didn't think that whole Pokeball thing through though, but I'm kinda surprised he doesn't have the will power to let himself out. Or maybe that's a few chapters later.
[QUOTE]“ Like we have said countless times, you are our champion. You will piece us back together.”
[/QUOTE] This line doesn't quite feel finished to me yet. It needs some kind of emphasis somewhere, probably impatience, or its supposed to be padding out Ethan's ego, being a champion. Otherwise, and as it is, it's a reundant line that's taking up space in the dialouge. The Countless times I think is your real hangup, it's out of place for the usually more direct and formal "voices"
I'm kinda concerned about what makes a Blastoise qualify as "leaky". Depends? Why would one name a bar after an incontinent turtle, and should I be worried if someone says "This beer tastes like piss!"?
I love the part where the voices say that they would fade away if someone else has a portion. Does that mean that some of the voices would be drawn to a chunk that Dorian has and away from Ethan?
And the more I read this, I keep thinking of Spiritomb, like maybe this obsidian rock is a larger than standard "Odd Keystone". Spiritomb does have 108 spirits in him afterall...
Now I want to go name a Spiritomb Ethan, just cause.