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Thread: Carry On, Blissey (PG-13)

  1. #1
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    Default Carry On, Blissey (PG-13)

    This fan is a Pokemon POV and medical drama story that is looking through the eyes of Matron Blissey who works for Hearthome City's General Hospital & Pokémon Centre. It was inspired by watching medical shows, my college placements and what I've read in medical books. Every effort has been made to make this story PG-13, but there will be content that some readers may find distressing such as character death, racism and abuse. I would like to thank all the readers and reviewers who have been following the fic.

    This fic was nominated in several categories in the fan fiction awards in 2012 and was voted the most original fan fiction of 2012 and the best non-romantic interaction between Matron Blissey and Spiritomb. It was also nominted for awards in 2013 and was voted the best pokemon centric whilst Matron Blissey was voted best non-human main character. My fic has also been featured on TV Tropes.

    The story is now complete. Once this story is moved over to the completed fic section, you will no longer be able to comment on this fic, however, this is also up on FF.net and A03.





    If you are one of those lucky trainers we can heal your whole team free of charge under a minute. We probably deal with thousands of patients a day and many of them are satisfied with their care. On the other hand, there is only so much that technology can do. The healing machine has made care easier for us. Unfortunately, despite popular belief it does not heal every disease.

    That's when I, the matron and the nurses help out. I examine the patient’s condition, diagnose them, then refer them to the specialist they need. It's never an easy task and the rules are always changing to ensure that everybody gets the right health care.

    No day is ever the same. One of my favourite things about this hospital is that it wasn't just pokémon from the chansey line. It had many nurses frown. Some in horror and some amused. They got the idea from Unova where they had audinos and also some fighting pokémon in the physiotherapy ward. The chansey line were very rare in Unova, but audino do a good job. Of course, I'm proud of being part of the chansey line, but I feel like the hospital promotes equality and diversity much better than other places I've worked in before. Could still do with some improvements here and there, but it's good.

    I can mend fainted pokémon in a heartbeat. The healing machine works wonders for burns, paralysis, frost bites and most poisons. However, sobering them up is a different story. One of my patients today included a baby chikorita. Purple patches on his skin indicate signs of poisoning. The leaf on the top of his head flaps uncontrollably. There is also an obvious scent of vodka on the chikorita's breath. I hate these sort of cases. They make me want to double slap their trainers where the sun don't shine. Pure grass type pokemon should not be consuming alcohol of any kind especially with their poison disadvantage.

    All grass types should refrain from having refined sugars. A swipe on the machine helped this chikorita recover some energy, but the poison was too severe for the machine to get rid of it. Alcoholic poisoning can be fatal. I hope the Nurse Joy has words with the trainer. If this chikorita doesn't make it, she could be arrested to neglect as well as being banned from pokémon leagues.

    "Okay Chikorita," I told him. "As you are still quite young, the full restores may be too strong for your immune system." The chikorita looked at me as in to suggest he had no idea what I was talking about. It is to be expected, but I can't help but use these medical terms. I've been working in this clinic for as long as I can remember. "We will try a combination of aromatherapy and heal bells. These are natural ways to cure common status problems which will leave as little side effects as possible."

    "What's a side-effect?" Chikorita asked. He coughed in his words and squinted his eyes.

    "Side effects are effects that are not intended," I told him. "Once you leave hospital, I recommend that the next time your trainer gives you alcohol is to say no."

    "Matron Blissey," an audino said passing by. Pure was engraved on her name tag. "This chikorita is only a baby, he might forget it."

    "Pure, if we tell him when he's young it will stick with him for life."

    "I am really worried about Chikorita." Pure dragged me into the corner of the room as she tried to whisper it quietly in my ear. "He could be a victim of abuse. The tests confirmed there were five units of alcohol."

    "I shall forward your concerns to Nurse Joy," I announced. "I will also request the medical history of the trainer's other pokémon. Before Pure walked off, I stopped her by asking, "do you know how to use a heal bell for aromatherapy?"

    "Yes, I do."

    "Brilliant," I said. "If you stay here, I'll get someone who can do the aromatherapy." I marched towards a group of chanseys who were looking for something to do. The shiny one in the middle, Lucky was her name, she knew how to perform aromatherapy. She was of the best aromatherapy nurses in the clinic. "Lucky, go in room 24. There's a chikorita with alcoholic poisoning. There's an audino waiting there with the heal bells."

    "Right!" Lucky nodded and scurried over to the chikorita. If everything runs smoothly, the chikorita will be discharged tomorrow morning. Time was a matter of life and death.

    I was slapped on the back by a pink tail. Curiously I turned around and saw some beedrill zoom a mew into the hospital wing. I opened my mouth in awe. I hadn't seen this pokemon in many years. No doubt that everyone would work extra hard to give this one a speedy recovery as they are an endangered species. After all, we've all made our vows to preserve life, but we should apply that vow to all our patients.

    "Nurse Joy! A word please?" I called. Nurse Joy had just walked out of a patient's room with a smile on her face. Someone had just been discharged from the hospital.

    "Of course." I followed Nurse Joy into her office. "It seems something is troubling you?" Nurse Joy can read my mind like a nursery book.

    "Pure believes the chikorita in room 24 might have been abused. Have you spoken to the trainer about this?"

    "I have spoken to Alita about this."

    So the trainer's name is Alita. Doesn't ring a bell to me, so she was either a rookie or someone not local from here. "What did you say to her?" I asked.

    "I praised her for trying to feed her pokémon, but told her not to use alcohol again."

    "Is that all?" I asked. Why should this pathetic trainer be praised for feeding alcohol? I sometimes feel that Nurse Joys are far too lenient on these brats.

    "Alita has Asperger's Syndrome," Nurse Joy said to me. "Now that's not the real reason why she did this, but because she's mentally retarded as well, she can easily be tricked. I'm sure that she wants to be a good pokémon trainer. She loves chikorita, but she doesn't understand what's going on."

    I opened my mouth with sheer horror. "You can't use that word in a professional environment like this. You shouldn't be using it all." Every time I hear that word, my stomach curled as I cringed. Retard was a horrible word.

    "I'd like to know why they were both near alcohol in the first place?" Nurse Joy asked. "Sadly autistic trainers fail to reach their potential."

    "That's a lot of nonsense and you know it!" I shouted. "You treat Autism like it's a deadly disease. It's not. This is discriminatory behavior!" It really wasn't fair that autistic trainers not treated right at hospitals. I don't know what's gotten into Nurse Joy. I do think that this should be investigated further. Whoever gave Alita the alcohol to feed Chikorita should be punished. She's only ten years old and she wouldn't be fully aware of the consequences of alcohol. I take back the inappropriate thoughts in my head. I'm quite passionate about my job, but it can lead me to being easily frustrated by humans. Still, Audino did the right thing by sharing her concerns to me. I hope for all the best for Alita and her chikorita.

    "You know what happened to Cyrus," Nurse Joy reminded me.

    "Just because one criminal mastermind had autism, it doesn't make every person with autism a criminal. I'm sorry, but some of your generalizations are just ridiculous and unprofessional. I know trainers with the condition that are excellent trainers. One of them is even a gym leader around this region." I snarled. If I wasn't on duty, I could have easily pounded her. Many people expect Nurse Joy to be friendly and polite, but this one had a very unpleasant side. Her implied hatred of people with disabilities made my blood boil with anger. It makes me wonder what made her chose to be a nurse in the first place?

    Nurse Joy asked me to leave as she dived into paperwork.
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 2nd June 2014 at 1:47 PM. Reason: Final chapter!


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    Mr. Fierce The Broken Swellow
    "Good morning Mr. Fierce."

    I greeted a swellow with two broken wings, whose feet had also been bitten off. It is a very unfortunate case for Mr. Fierce. I don't think he will be able to fly again. His trainer has come to the centre next door nearly every day. His trainer mentioned that he and Mr. Fierce were students at Smogon University. They obtained a degree in competitive battles and became runners up in some leagues. His trainer had a spark in his eye when he talked about his battles with Mr. Fierce.

    He will need to be told that he is now disabled. The machine couldn't cure his injuries, but it helped him regain his conscious. The swellow refused to speak. He frowned upon the nurse behind me. She was a gardevoir without a nickname. Gardevoir was a new member of staff. Gardevoirs were considered to be intelligent because of their typing, and beloved for their elegant appearance. If you ask me, I would say it's the humanoid curves that get them on their knees. It makes you wonder how accurate pokédex entries are because they make me sound like a saint. If you knew which company I used to work for, then you would be surprised.

    "When are my Action Replay Pills coming?" Mr. Fierce growled.

    "We can't give you any Action Replay Pills," Gardevoir answered. I can see she's in a difficult situation. Mr. Fierce was polite around his trainer, but unpleasant when his trainer is not around. "They're illegal."

    "No they're not!" Mr Fierce barked. He pecked Gardevoir on the arm and crowed. "I had them all the time in Fuchsia City. They made me better in no time. By the way, this room is so boring. Where are all the iPads?"

    "Mr. Fierce," I interrupted. I've never heard of multiple iPads being in a patient's room. What kind of hospital did he go into? "I understand that you found Action Replay medicine useful, but they are illegal in the Sinnoh Region. Therefore we cannot give you any."

    "Give me a real nurse!" Mr. Fierce demanded. He moved his body up and cried when he tried to move his wings. "I don't want that green tart, I want a chansey that understands me."

    "A chansey will assist you later on," I assured him. "For now Gardevoir will give you an injection."

    "It won't get my feet back!"

    I really wanted to tell him that Action Replay Pills won't cure his disability either, if anything it may have contributed to his injury. While these pills can make pokemon feel stronger and do things they usually can't do, they're illegal in Sinnoh for a reason. They're addictive, they can weaken the bones and cause permanent brain damage.

    "I know," Gardevoir said. "But we'll do all we can to make sure your life is back to normal."

    "I suppose it's better than nothing." Mr. Pierce sulked and closed his eyes.

    I know her intentions were good, but it will give Mr. Fierce hopes up too high. The bones in his wings have shattered and he will need artificial claws. If he had the money he could get artificial wings as well. His life is not going to go back to normal. It's going to change forever and his previous lifestyle will no longer be practical.

    "Mr. Fierce," I said. "There is no easy way of telling you this, but there is a big chance that you may never compete in battles again."

    "I beg your pardon?" Mr Fierce shrieked. His eyes and mouth opened from the shock of my words. Horrified he froze on the spot.

    "Your injuries are very severe and may take years for you to recover if you recover at all."

    "What will my trainer think of me?" Mr. Fierce sobbed. "I've let him down."

    "The injury is not your fault," Gardevoir told him.

    "Mr. Fierce's colostomy bag will need emptying soon," I reminded Gardevoir. That was another problem with using Action Replay Pills, the pokemon start to become incontinent and disobedient in later life. What looking at Mr. Fierce it seems he's been taking Action Replay for years. Some trainers think that they are amazing injecting so much junk in their pokémon. In my opinion they're all idiots, but if it wasn't for some of those idiots I probably wouldn't have a job.

    I don't believe the trainer when he said he and Mr. Fierce obtained that degree at Smogon University together. Smogon had high standards and expelled students for using any kind of drugs I should know: I was a student there. I studied medicine with my original trainer. It's a long story, but I haven't seen her since graduating and I ended up working in a lot of health centres until I settled down to this one fifteen years ago.

    I know that Action Replay Pills are legal in Kanto, but what Mr. Fierce has told me does not seem right. Gardevoir had her concerns too. It's cases like Mr. Fierce that remind me how much I detest action replay. I have worked in Kanto clinics before and only one has ever prescribed Action Replay Pills, which was an underground clinic funded by the black market. When the boss of the company that owned the clinic was famously defeated by one of the Indigo Plateau champions, the clinic shut down.
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 16th November 2012 at 7:41 PM.


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  3. #3
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    Wow, I can't believe no one has commented on this. I really like how this is starting off, I've never seen a fanfic with an idea like this behind it. It's a very unique idea. I haven't spotted any errors, though it does bother me just a little that you don't capitalize Pokemon names, as that's what I always do (Ex: "I greeted a swellow with two broken wings" instead of "I greeted a Swellow with two broken wings"). But, I'm alright with that. If that's what you want to do, go ahead. Anyway, great job, I'll be sure to check for updates.
    Last edited by Squiddly Dee; 4th April 2012 at 1:47 PM.


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    Excellent fanfic. Keep it up!

    Definitely subscribing
    Credit to Pika Pal Lyra

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    Thanks to the both of you for the comments. Decided that I'll continue with the story. I don't capitalise the pokemon's names unless they're being addressed, especially since some of them will have nicknames and some of them won't so I only capitalise them if they have no nickname.


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    I like the concept here, seems much like 'ONE BORN EVERY MINUTE' or something of that ilk. I like the context of the Action Replay Pills and the idea of a drunk Pokemon, it seems rather unique.

    I'd like to hear more about the Nurses daily lives so we can relate more to them as well as know what they go through daily.

    The only problem, except for the occasional comma needed for good flowing, is that it's called Asperger's Syndrome, with an apostrophe s. Just a tit-bit of information there
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    Hacked Syndrome


    I hated it when Spiritomb came into the room. It's not that he's an unpleasant pokémon to work with because sometimes what he says is rich in knowledge, but whenever I see him. He will talk about how long the patient has left. He was always right. I rarely get to see him as he works different shifts to me, but the rest of my colleagues have had the same experience. At least he didn't work in the baby and egg ward otherwise they'd all be scared for life by his jiggered green grin.

    Hyperacidosis Cancerous Kinetic Excessive Deformity or simply known as the Hacked Syndrome, was a disorder that has been on the rise since the boom of drugs for pokémon. Spiritomb started at this clinic about the same time as I did and became the hospital's expert at this disease. His parents both had The Hacked Syndrome and are no longer with us.

    And of course he was the only pokémon nurse, aside from myself who could speak to humans in their own language. The other pokémon either have to sign or use their body language. Pokémon could communicate to other pokémon fine without any language barriers, but especially in this profession communication was not always a strong point for everybody.

    All the pokémon who worked in our community hospital had been trained to understand human emotion. It was more than just medicine. We were saving lives. It wasn't common that we had to treat humans, but we still needed to give first aid sessions when dealing with both pokémon and humans. It wasn't a known fact that we shared a close bond with humans and most of our patients had pokémon trainers with them.

    Spiritomb and I walked into the room with Alita and Chikorita in. Alita curled her arms around Chikorita as they both had their eyes shut tight. Spirtomb floated above the pair and studied the monitors beeping steadily.

    "This Chikorita is going to be just fine," Spiritomb announced.

    "That's wonderful news," I said. "I was hoping that they would both leave the hospital by tomorrow. Although Nurse Joy says they need to be supervised at all times."

    "It's not easy, is it?" Spiritomb croaked. "Children are very fast and have no sense of danger. Being autistic won't make things easier. That's why I think ten years is far too young to have a trainer's license."

    "Yet the Pokémon Welfare Agency believes that ten is a suitable age to become a pokémon trainer," I sighed. "But I do agree with you, ten is quite young. And to think that that some trainers have their first egg three months after they start their journey."

    "Those Day Care Centres must make a fortune," Spiritomb said. "But I don't like how most of them hand pokémon eggs like cotton candy. They might not know what the trainer is like?"

    "I can see your point," I told him. "They remind me of Nurse Joy in some ways. Kind, but sometimes too kind. For me the best day care centres I've been to were in Solaceon Town, Agate Village, and Eggseter." The Nurse Joy I had the displeasure of working with did not apply - she can be very unkind towards patients.

    "Agate Village don't accept pokémon with Hacked Syndrome," Spiritomb responded. "I was at placement there when I was at Pokécommunity University. That was when I learned a lot about Hacked Syndrome. After the incident with shadow pokémon, they decided that they would no longer accept pokémon with Hacked Syndrome because they didn't want to encourage ill health."

    "I see..." I nodded my head and took a brief look at my paper-board. I raised my hand and said, "There was a patient I wanted you to see."

    "Who is this patient?"

    "It's Mr. Fierce, he's a swellow facing life confined to a wheelchair," I replied. Since we've spoken about how the disorder is mainly caused by drugs, I thought the patient would have interested Spiritomb. Not only that but his expertise would have been most useful. "He's become addicted to Action Replay pills."

    Spiritomb sniffed and boomed, "sounds like my kind of case!" There was distinct chime in his accent. With that, I led him into Mr. Fierce's bedroom. The bird leered into the ghost's eyes and screeched.

    "What is this?" Mr. Fierce yelled. "Are we in the circus?"

    "Mr. Fierce," I said as I stood in front of Spiritomb and held onto the side of Mr. Fierce's bed. "I'd like you to meet our nurse, Spiritomb. He is an expert in drug related cases and will be here to assist my diagnosis."

    "What a lot of rubbish!" Mr. Fierce barked. "He's a nurse? He looks like a clown." Spiritomb was trying hard not to chuckle as I sighed. "Surely he's got some Action Replay pills?"

    "As I've told you before Mr. Fierce, we cannot give you any."

    "If I may?" Spiritomb asked. "I would like to have a check up on you for some diagnosis?"

    "Suit yourself," Mr. Fierce muttered.

    "Mr. Fierce, how long have you been taking Action Replay?" I asked. As Spiritomb investigated the swellow I walked to his left and spoke to the patient. I could at least try and make him feel at ease. Besides, the more we know about Mr. Fierce, the more we can do to treat him.

    "Ever since I was a little Taillow." He looked into my eyes and crowed. "I've always had it since he caught me. He treated me like his best friend and spoilt me rotten. Although, I haven't seen him today. Not since he was told that I may be unable to battle again. Apparently when Nurse Joy asked him about the Action Replay pills, he did a runner."

    Flipping coward, I thought to myself. Not only was this abuse, but also neglect. As I predicted, Mr. Fierce had been taking this for many years.

    "Did you enjoy these battles?" Spiritomb asked.

    "I did," he replied. "I got an enormous buzz from battles because I get to meet all sorts of creatures. Nurse Gardevoir says you guys will do whatever I can to get my life back to normal again." Mr. Fierce looked up to the sky and said, "... I can't wait to get out of here."

    "You and your trainer must have travelled a lot. What was your favourite place?"

    "I would love to back to Hoenn again," Mr. Fierce answered. "It's a wonderful place. Full of interesting environments and lovely people."

    "That's the diagnosis finished," Spiritomb announced.

    "That was quick!" Mr Fierce gasped. "Can I go home now?"

    "I'm afraid it's just as Matron Blissey feared," Spiritomb announced. "Mr. Fierce, you have indeed have The Hacked Syndrome. Because of your condition, the drugs your trainer has given you for over the years has gradually weakened your immune system and as a result your injuries are severe to the point of permanent disability."

    "So I won't be able to battle..."

    "I'm afraid not."

    "That's why my trainer abandoned me."

    It was almost as if my heart was aching for him. That trainer, I could pound him one if I could. I patted on his wounded wing and said, "Your trainer may have left you, but we won't until we feel we are in a position to let you go."

    "So what happens now?" Mr Fierce asked. "What about my trainer?"

    "It will be up to Nurse Joy and Matron Blissey. We will try and contact Pokémon Professors and follow their advice."

    "Were there bad eggs forming inside?" I asked.

    "Yes," Spiritomb confirmed. "Lots of them. It will require lots of operations to ensure they don't hatch."

    "I have eggs in me?" Mr. Fierce gasped again. His eyes dropped two tears as his head shuddered.

    "They're tumours known as bad eggs," I replied. I gulped and sighed. "We need to carefully get these tumours out before they hatch. If the bad egg hatch, your whole body will freeze and you may die within ten minutes."

    "Why is that?" Mr. Fierce asked.

    "Bad eggs contain highly cancerous cells that will quickly spread," Spiritomb said.

    "It must be easy for you," Mr. Fierce sobbed.

    Poor thing... It's easy to assume that these things get easier as time goes by, but it dosen't. Telling someone that they're going to die is never going to be easy. Mr. Fierce was truly a strong pokémon who didn't need those drugs. It was just a shame he was with a poor trainer.

    I wish we could operate on him now, but we're not allowed to operate on pokémon without permission from the trainer. I've got to seek advice from Nurse Joy and the Social Services... fast! I'm not going to let this pokémon die because of neglect and abuse.
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 16th November 2012 at 7:28 PM.


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  8. #8
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    This I like. I particularly liked your portrayal of Action Replay as a dangerous, illegal drug. Can't wait to see more!

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    This is a good series so far keep it up!
    Also, two minor typos:
    Where it says "Those Day Centers..." Should it be Day Care Centers
    And "Agate Village don't accept..." Maybe Agate Village doesn't...
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    I haven't gotten to the third chapter yet, but I adore the mixture of realism and the pokemon world here (alcohol being detrimental to something weak against poison/Full Restores being too powerfyl for a young immune system/Action Replay as an addictive substance with health-related side effects. I wonder...is AR here correlative to steroids and HGH or more like a narcotic? Something I was wondering).

    It's interesting to see Blissey, a pokemon one usually imagines as being lovable and sweet (hell, it has BLISS in its name) getting angry and perturbed over what it perceives as carelessness in chapter 1. Nice unusual juxtaposition, that.

    I look forward to having time to read chapter 3, as well as whatever else is coming.


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    Thanks to everyone who's commented on my fic. Hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters. I promise to check out some of your fics in return. I would say that AR in this fic can be used as steroids or can be mixed with them.


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    I love this new chapter! Spiritomb is a very interesting character, but I feel really bad for Mr. Fierce for being abandoned. I can't wait for the next one!


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    I for one can't wait for the next chapter. You got me all concerned about Mr. Fierce now. The situation actually reminds me of when I lost my Pelipper to a nasty Action Replay accident. It was in Emerald version. I was messing with the Action Replay, and I discovered that by activating a warp code at the right time, I could steal some of the rental Pokémon from the Battle Factory, at the cost of whatever I had on my team at the time. I went there with just a random Snorunt- or so I thought. Far too late I deposited my ill-gotten Pokémon in the PC and went to withdraw my usual team, except Pelipper wasn't there. I searched the whole PC nine times over before realizing I must have had it on my team when I took the Battle Factory challenge.

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    Two words: Me. Gusta.
    It's such a great fanfic. I haven't read one this well written in so long... Can't wait for the next chapter!!!
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    Thanks guys. Glad everyone is enjoying it and it's also nice to see some new readers too.

    Important Call


    "Matron!" an audino called. "The patient in room 31 wishes to see you."

    "Not now," I replied. "I've got to do something. I will see the patient after I've sorted this out."

    An hour I spent frantically looking around for Nurse Joy, and she was training staff on how to tackle with violent patients and trainers. On top of that, she was going to to judge on a contest after the session. It looks like I won't be seeing her until the evening. What an hour wasted. I could have spent that dealing with patients and staff who could have really used some help.
    I actually could have seen the patient in room 31, but all I could think about was Mr. Fierce. Time was running out for him. Sprititomb's scans confirmed that the bad eggs in his body had fully grown and could hatch any time between 1:00 PM and midnight.

    The clock was on six.

    If I couldn't contact Nurse Joy now, I'd have to seek advice elsewhere. Desperate times for desperate measures. I wasn't sure whether to call the social services or Professor Rowan. Then I remembered, Social Services phone lines close at 5PM.

    Which was just silly. When I worked at Kanto, the social services phone line was always open. I guess that's just Professor Rowan. I marched into the nursing office and reached out for the telephone. I dialled up Professor Rowan and within half a minute an image of him appeared on the screen.

    "Good evening," Professor Rowan said. "How many I help you, Blissey."

    "Hello Professor Rowan, it's Matron from Hearthome City Hospital."

    "Hello Matron," Professor Rowan seemed to be relaxed. "What can I do for you?"

    "I've come to seek your advice," I told him.

    "Matron slow down," requested Professor Rowan. "You're talking far too fast; I can't understand you."

    "Sorry," I responded. "We have a swellow has hacked syndrome. He's admitted to being addicted to them for a number of years and his trainer gave them him on a regular basis. The bad eggs in his body are fully developed and can hatch any time this evening. We need the trainer's permission to perform any operations needed."

    "Do you believe that this swellow is a victim of substance abuse?" Professor Rowan asked. His facial expressions dropped to a sullen frown.

    "Yes we do?" I replied. "When we enquired with the trainer, he ran away."

    "Then you have every right to operate," Professor Rowan confirmed. "By the looks of it, it seems that this poor swellow has been released." Professor Rowan held up a heavy book to me and quickly flicked through the pages. "If you take a look at Section 112, chapter seven on Compulsory Policies By The Pokémon Welfare Agency 2012 it clearly states: If nurses have evidence to believe that a patient has a history of substance abuse, then a patient may be operated on without trainer's consent."

    I sighed in relief.

    "You seem happy, Matron."

    "I am," I told the professor. "Very happy. I'll make sure this swellow gets treatment straight away. Thank you for your help, Professor."

    "My pleasure," Professor Rowan said with a smile. "Best of luck."

    With that, we both hung up on the phone. It was time to get Mr. Fierce into the operating theatre as soon as possible. I jogged into his room and moved him out of the room.

    "Plum!" I called one of the vileplumes who had just left a patient's room. "Need you in theatre!" Plum helped move the bed without another word. "Be careful," I told him. "This patient has bad eggs which can hatch any moment."

    "Scarmony and Weeper should be in the theatre room," Plum told me.

    "Right," I said. I looked down on Mr. Fierce, and hoped that he will be able to make it. "Plum give Mr. Fierce some sleep powder."

    Plum's flower head unleashed orange powder that circulated around Mr. Fierce's face. Just as he was about to open his eyes, his eyelids dropped.

    Time to get him into theatre.
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 21st April 2012 at 4:59 PM.


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    Yay, I'm so glad it's a slightly quicker update! I'm really excited to see what happens!


    Back from a very long hiatus. Signature and other things under construction! My friend code is 3496-9664-6228, and my friend safari contains Slugma, Growlithe, and Braixen.

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    Just a few errors to note in that chapter:

    1) You alternated between "Rowan" and "Rowland" a few times for the professor's name.

    2) You said "weather" once when you meant "whether".

    3)
    "Sorry," I responded. "We have a swellow has hacked syndrome. He's admitted to being addicted to them for a number of years and his trainer gave them him on a regular basis. The bad eggs in his body are fully developed and can hatch any time this evening. We need the trainer's permission to
    Is that line of dialogue just supposed to...end like that? Or did you forget to finish it?

    Other than, this wasn't a bad chapter, but I felt like it should have been longer. You should have lingered on instead of ending there and shown a bit more.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Sid87 View Post
    Just a few errors to note in that chapter:

    1) You alternated between "Rowan" and "Rowland" a few times for the professor's name.

    2) You said "weather" once when you meant "whether".

    3)


    Is that line of dialogue just supposed to...end like that? Or did you forget to finish it?

    Other than, this wasn't a bad chapter, but I felt like it should have been longer. You should have lingered on instead of ending there and shown a bit more.
    When I first wrote the draft out, I thought his name was actually Rowland, until I looked it up and found out it was Rowan. I edited and fixed some of the mistakes. Thanks for comments and thanks to Epic-Inferno too. I was planning on making part 5 focus on the operation.


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    I haven't seen this kind of fanfic before, but I like the unique plot. The chapters are a bit on the short side for my taste, but apart from that, it's a great story. Can't wait for more.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flame Mistress View Post
    I haven't seen this kind of fanfic before, but I like the unique plot. The chapters are a bit on the short side for my taste, but apart from that, it's a great story. Can't wait for more.
    Thank you. I thought the last chapter was a bit short, but I have a feeling the next chapter will be a lot longer because a lot more stuff is going to happen.


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    Intensive Operation

    I had been concentrating very hard on Mr. Fierce's operation. Scarmony had set up the purification chamber that was fully recharged. I wish we used this machine over at the front in the pokémon centre, but the purification chamber was expensive. We were only allowed to use it on pokémon who had just had operations, where they'd be expected to be completely healed afterwards. Mr. Fierce's condition could get treated, but the disabilities would last for the rest of his life.

    There will be help for him. Once a social worker speaks to Nurse Joy, Mr. Fierce may be moved to care home or put up for people to adopt on the GTS. They're all flawed systems, people don't want to adopt pokémon with the Hacked Syndrome and end up releasing them into the wild in a vulnerable state. It has a 5% chance of being inherited by pokémon who have the disorder.

    In the theatre was myself, Spiritomb, Plum, Weeper and Scarmony. Scarmony had the hardest job out of all of us, especially with the barriers around his beak. They had to be there though. Skarmory was the steel bird of the pokémon world. Scarmony's peak was sharp, but the cap around his beak was there to prevent infection. Although being a steel type pokémon made him immune to poison, the pokémon he could be working with might not have the same privilege.

    Any staff that go into theatre have to have a through showering after every operation. By the looks of all the bad eggs that Scarmony, Weeper and I were pulling out it was going to be a long wash for us all. Even a spiritomb or sableye with wonder gaurd would be required to have a shower. Pokémon reluctant against water would be hand washed, that policy started coming in when a charmander became a clinical support worker for the hospital.

    Despite many bad eggs being removed, Mr. Fierce's kidney was cluttered with bad eggs. They had tried to form a honeycomb pattern. We managed to find the biggest bad egg that was fully developed had pierced a hole in his bladder.

    Weeper trembled as he cut the underneath layers of bleeding fungus below the surface of the eggs with a razor leaf. Scarmony used his wing and beak to tear off all the bad eggs at once. He succeeded at all but the huge bad egg that rumbled and made churning sounds. It was the acid and cancerous cells reaching boiling point.

    Plum rolled over the yellow bin and Scarmony disposed of the eggs. I was surprised that Spiritomb didn't really do anything other than observe the machines. Whenever I turned to look at him he never had his eyes on the tumours. I blew a pale ice beam onto the bleeding and areas with fungi in them. It would make Scarmony's job of removing the infected areas easier as the bad eggs can grow back if the fungus had not been removed. Without a word, Scarmony dragged the frozen fungi out of Mr. Fierce's body and into the clinical waste bin.

    I'm not sure if the silence is a good thing or a bad thing. We seem to be silent, yet we're communicating at the same time. We're all fully focused on healing Mr. Fierce, but I've never experienced such silence in the theatre. It was just so awkward. I turned to face Spiritomb again and this time he gave me eye contact and a grin on his face.

    "Good technique," Spiritomb told me. "I'd have never thought of freezing bad eggs out."

    "Desperate times call for desperate measures," I said.

    "There's only one left now," Weeper announced. "Do you think Mr. Fierce will survive?"

    "The chances of survival are increasing with every tumour removed," Spiritomb announced.

    Then it struck me. Spiritomb was the reason why everyone was so silent. His utter presence was enough to put them under pressure and try to hide the fact that they're not intimidated by his accurate predictions.

    The last bad egg began to shake violently. Plum bent her knees and with panic in her voice screamed, "the tumours going to hatch! Should I give it sun spore, toxic or sleeping powder?"

    "Neither," I replied. Sleeping powder would have been useless as Mr. Fierce is already asleep. Toxic would kill the egg, but the toxic would make the lingering parts of Hacked Syndrome worse. Stun Spore would go into the blood stream and stop the heart.

    Burning was also an option, but none of us apart from Spiritomb were able to do it. Besides, the last time someone tried to burn a bad egg that patient died. It was far too risky.

    If we cut the bad egg, it would make the process of hatching even quicker and the cancerous cells, infected blood and toxins chemicals would leak all over the body and the organs would erode.

    Which left only one option: freeze it! Bad eggs loved areas with heat and acid and what better place to grow then in the body. Their worst enemy: ice. It kills the cells that are already inside and it freezes the entire tumour solid, which makes it much easier to remove and it won't hatch.

    "Stand behind me everyone," I demanded. My eyes were fixed onto the fungus attached to the bad egg. I blew out ice beam and started at the bottom. Once the fungus was covered by a blanket of ice, I began to move my head up. The blanket of ice had turned into a block. I went to the other side of the bed to check that the tumour had been frozen from behind. The course was clear.

    "Well done Matron," Spiritomb announced. "I never thought about freezing. Then again, I don't know how to freeze eggs so I just get it out and burn it."

    I'm not sure if that was genuine praise or sarcasm. Surely he'd have know something about freezing bad eggs. I think I need to keep an eye on him. Short-term memory loss was a sign of many disorders. Judging by his family history, it could be the Hacked Syndrome or possibly dementia.

    "Let's get this bad egg out," Scarmony announced. "We don't want the ice to thaw out." Scarmony flashed his right silver wing and slashed the ice away from the body with it's wing. Plum caught the ice and his arms shook. He ran to the clinical waste bin where he disposed of it with great relief.

    "He's going to be fine," Spiritomb whispered into my ear. I smiled and looked up to Plum, Scarmony and Weeper. "Well done guys," Spiritomb added on my behalf. "I understand it's quite scary to operate on hacked pokémon, but I think you all did really well. Acted on impulse and worked as a team to save Mr. Fierce's life."

    "You were all fantastic!" I agreed with Spiritomb. "What we need to do now is stitch everything back up, place him in the pokéball and put him into the purification chamber.

    I marched to the sink, disposed of my gloves with the bin aside it, then washed my hands. I stripped of my blue cloak and hat and placed it inside the large red plastic bin where we put dirty clothes in. Everyone was still in the theatre when I left the room. I had a feeling that Spiritomb was going to take charge of the last moments of the operation.

    The door I took an exit on lead a block of stairs that go down to the washing area. I expect Plum, Scarmony, Weeper and Spiritomb to follow my steps in 30 minutes. I opened the door and saw a lot of staff relaxing in the hot springs.

    I went straight to the shower as I reached for the home-made shampoo and scrubbed as much as I could. Once more staff left the spring I would hop in for a bath, but there was too many pokémon in there. There was meant to be twelve at a time. It was worthless trying to tell them off though.

    When all the bug pokémon left the spring, I hopped into the welcoming hot water with floating bubbles down below. Thank goodness, I thought. It was so relaxing I ended up floating around.

    "Matron," an audino asked. "When are you going to see the patient in room 31?" I looked up and it was Sparkles. She must have been the same audino who called earlier. "She's very angry that we had to put her sleep because she was attacking staff."

    "After I finished my bath," I replied. "I had an intense operation today."

    "How's Mr. Fierce?" Sparkles asked. "I didn't see him in his room after I saw you."

    "Yes. The operation was successful."

    "That's good to hear." Sparkles turned towards Gardevoir who buried her head in her hands. "Things haven't turned out so well for us. The first patient Gardevoir saw. It was an elderly stantler that got hit by a car. It died before we could give it treatment."

    Oh the poor girl. First patient she ever had ... dead. She's not the first nurse that it's happened to and it's not going to be the last either. I only took a brief look at the stantler they were talking about. I knew that it had a slim chance of survival, but it didn't stop Gardevoir and Sparkles trying to save it's life.

    Gardevoir's uplifting words seemed to help Mr. Fierce. Although it was false hope in a sense. He was going to leave the hospital alive.

    With that in mind, I swam over to Gardevoir. Tapping her shoulders I said, "Cheer up Gardevoir, we can't save lives with you crying in the bath all day."

    "Am I good enough?" Gardevoir asked herself.

    "Don't be so silly," I responded. "Of course you're good enough. You wouldn't be here if you wasn't good enough."

    "You really think so?" Gardevoir's wet eyes looked up at me.

    "Sure," Sparkles replied on my behalf. She looked up to me and said, "Maybe we should go into room 31 together?"

    "Good idea," I said.

    "So Mr. Fierce is going to get better?" Gardevoir asked. I nodded and Gardevoir quickly wiped her eyes and stopped crying. "So who's in room 31?"

    "One of the legendary ones," Sparkles replied. "She requested that her identity was to be kept secret. There are some escavaliers and Maine guarding her room."

    I had a very good idea who this patient was.
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 16th November 2012 at 7:52 PM.


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    Mr. Fierce's condition could get treated, but he would be crippled with disabilities for the rest of his life.
    "Crippled" is an antiquated medical term. It's not used in a professional sense anymore. Just an FYI.

    In the theatre was myself, Spiritomb, Plum, Weeper and Scarmony. Scarmony had the hardest job out of all of us, especially with the barriers around his beak. They had to be there though. Skarmory was the steel bird of the pokémon world. Scarmony's peak was sharp, but the cap around his beak was there to prevent infection. Although being a steel type pokémon made him immune to poison, the pokémon he could be working with might not have the same privilege.
    This gave me a funny image of Scarmony sterilizing his beak with a lighter like how someone would sterilize a pin before attempting to get out a splinter.

    Weeper trembled as threw a razor cut of leaves to cut underneath the layers of bleeding fungus below the surface of the bad eggs.
    Unwieldy. Let's try maybe "Weeper trembled as he(?) cut the underneath layers of bleeding fungus below the surface of the eggs with a razor leaf." Is that better? No redundant use of cut, too.

    It would make Scarmony's job of removing the infected areas as the bad eggs can grow back if the fungus had not been removed.
    I think that's either supposed to be "It would BE Scarmony's job..." or you just left out an adjective (i.e., "It would make Scarmony's job of removing the infected areas easier...")


    Another thought I had: why is Spiritomb surprised about using freezing on two separate occasions...that are about 5 minutes apart. He sees it used, and says "I wouldn't have thought of that". And then a few minutes later, they do it again, and he says "I never thought of that". Maybe he has short-term memory loss.

    "Any chance it's Mr. Fierce?"
    Is that supposed to be "Any change in Mr. Fierce?"

    You wouldn't be hear if you wasn't good enough."
    *here


    It's not bad. I have to admit I liked the early chapters more with the great blending of realism, medicine, and the pokemon world/terminology. But that's okay, I can chalk it up to a plot-building lull. Keep at it!


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    Thank you so much for that fantastic review, Sid87. I took your suggestions into account and edited the chapter. I think you'll like the next chapter I'm working on.


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    Well, I normally skip stuff in books, fanfics, etc. but this is one of the few times I actually read every single word.
    I have to say you've done an amazing job so far, and I can't wait for more!
    I think the fact Blissey and Spiritomb can communicate with humans is interesting.
    9/10
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheAwesomeGarchompHD View Post
    Well, I normally skip stuff in books, fanfics, etc. but this is one of the few times I actually read every single word.
    I have to say you've done an amazing job so far, and I can't wait for more!
    I think the fact Blissey and Spiritomb can communicate with humans is interesting.
    9/10
    Well I'm flattered. Thanks for the comment and generous rate.


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